Tag: Ghostbusters

Geekscape 419: The SDCC 2016 Preview With Derek and Matt!

by Jonathan

San Diego Comic Con 2016 is THIS week and we’re not even close to prepared for it! But regardless, the Geekscape team is in town and we’re doing our best! Geekscape Managing Editor Derek Kraneveldt and SaintMort Show host Matt Kelly join me on this very special episode to talk about our favorite SDCC moments of the past and get ready for this year’s fun! We also catch you up on our PokémonGO obsession, weigh in on whether or not the new ‘Ghostbusters’ film is worthy of a sequel and urge you to discover the amazing film ‘The Hunter For The Wilderpeople’! Oh, and Derek has some very big news to share… a Geekscape exclusive!

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How The Idea Of The New Ghostbusters Film Is Better Than The New Ghostbusters Film

by Saintmort

After over 2 decades, the long awaited (or dreaded) new Ghostbusters film is finally in theaters. And based on the opening weekend numbers, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve seen it. And if you’ve seen it you probably have a definite opinion on it. Opinions we’ve witnessed so far have ranged from extremely good to impossibly bad.

My opinion is somewhere right in the middle. I didn’t have fun watching this movie and in general the movie fell flat. But what hurt the most was how much potential the new Ghostbusters had. I’m aware that I am someone who has never made an actual movie. And I’m about to Monday Morning Quarterback it. But I believe a lot of issues I had with the film could easily have been fixed with small changes.

First, let me break down what some of the issues for me were. This will get into Spoiler Land and it’s probably best not to read beyond this point if you haven’t seen the movie.

Okay. You have been warned.

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Now not all of these issues are easy fixes. At one point, our heroes witness the main villain running off to destroy New York City during the mid-afternoon and but are not see again until some time at night when they finally jump into the Ecto-1 and tear onto the streets to catch him. Um. Hours and entire scenes have passed. How do you create a sense of urgency if the characters themselves don’t show any sense of urgency? When the police suspect that our heroes have just killed a man by throwing him from a window the scene ends with a series of Patrick Swayze references? There’s absolutely no resolution to this potential hurdle and it’s swept under the rug like so many potentially rich story beats in exchange for some witty dialogue. The movie ignores plot in lieu of potential laughs several times and the story and characters are worse off for it. I can list every offense but for the sake of this article I’m going to focus on the three major issues that most of the smaller issues stem from.

Issue #1: This movie does not exist in the same universe as the original two films yet is still very self conscious about it existing. This doesn’t bother everybody, but it definitely bothered me. By making this its own stand alone film, this go around has to retell the Ghostbusters origin story from scratch and spend a lot of energy doing it. It repeats beat by beat scenes from the original movie with very subtle “unique” twists. This isn’t a structural issue (because it worked great in the first film) but then the movie additionally is packed with cameos of the entire original cast as “jokes”. Only one or two of these cameos actually works but most of the time the extent of the joke is “look, it’s one of the people from the original movie… laugh now please.”

Issue #2: The relationships established between the 4 Ghostbusters are extremely rushed and don’t really change that much from there. Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wig) and Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) are former best friends. They stopped being best friends for… reasons? Erin re-enters Abby’s life to ask her to stop the publication of a book that they wrote years ago and discovers that she’s basically been replaced by Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), an eccentric but brilliant inventor who only services the story to mumble weird asides and introduce interchangeably forgettable gadgets that will only be used once. After less than 10 minutes Abby and Erin are friends/business partners because they saw a ghost and their estranged relationship is almost never mentioned again. That is until the end of the film when Erin has to make the choice to potentially sacrifice herself for her friend…. except at that point it’s not much of a choice as they’ve been friends for 99.9% of the film. This isn’t a big character moment or choice as much as it’s a quick wrap up to a problem the Ghostbusters let happen in the first place when they sat for hours instead of chasing the bad guy down the street (not to mention letting him grow to the size of a skyscraper before actually zapping him). The final piece of the group comes in Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) who exclaims after joining the group and looking for a ghost down a hallway that she “thought she was joining a book group”. And this is after she witnessed a ghost at her subway job… twice.

Issue #3: For a movie that’s trying so hard to be different they literally have just created four female characters that are attempts at being direct duplicates of the original cast. This ends up being more of a disservice than anything and causes some weird character issues. If these are new characters, treat them as such.

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For reference, here’s who represents who:

Abby is Ray
Erin is Peter
Holtzmann is Egon
Patty is Winston

The original film was a tale for one sarcastic guy and his 3 co-workers, all playing the straight man to an outlandish situation. Sure Ray, Egon and Winston have some hilarious lines… but every line is delivered with complete sincerity. They don’t have time for jokes, they’re here to catch ghosts and are firmly grounded in doing so. The audience has a place of perspective from which to watch the fantastic story play out.

This new movie has no straight man. The closest we have is Erin but even she is too goofy for her own good and is made less respectable in situations in which she mistakes windows for sliding doors. Holtzmann is too silly to be the “Egon”, which would be fine if they made her more of a 3-dimensional character than just a weird Egon. McKinnon’s performance is getting a lot of praise and it’s super deserved because it was a huge risk but it could have been so much more relatable if it had any depth or history to it. She’s the same unpredictable question mark at the end of the story as she is when Erin first meets her.

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The most offensive issue comes in Patty as Winston. In the original film Winston was a man who didn’t believe in ghosts. He just needed a job. Some of the best moments in the original film was Winston being the normal guy coming to terms with lots of new information. In the remake, Patty discovers a ghost and calls the Ghostbusters for help. That’s perfectly fine. Then She asks to join the group. This is also fine. Then on their first mission with the team she’s mumbling to herself about “I thought this was gonna be a book club and now I’m fighting ghosts”. What?!? There is no other reason for this line to exist for this character beyond “She’s the Winston”. Even when the character is actually the most different from its male counterpart, they still write dialogue for her that’s more fitting for Winston. This is even more absurd based on the fact that just before this mission she got them a vehicle for the equipment and uniforms… TO CATCH GHOSTS! Why in the hell is this character unaware of what she signed up for after having dealt with one TWICE in the subway?

That in a nut-shell are my 3 major issues. And they’re big ones. The new Ghostbusters is a film that wants to make its own name for itself but can’t get out from under the shadow of the original.

So why not just accept that the original films existed in this universe and start from there? Why must every reboot be a remake?

Here’s my take on the first 20 minutes of the film that would quickly fix some of these issues. And remember, I’ve never made a movie, I’m just writing how marrying these two stories together could work and how it would fix a lot of issues.

Imagine if the new Ghostbusters film opened with the original commercial from the first Ghostbusters movie. The year is 1990 and we pull back to reveal a trio of girls having a sleepover. These girls are 10 year old Erin, Abby and their eccentric friend Jillian Spenlger. Yes, I’m turning Holtzmann into a relative of Egon because if you’re going to make her character a female equivalent him anyways let’s just make her a relative and have a reason why they share the same tendencies. The three of them are sharing ghost stories and maybe even make a reference to how cool it is that Jillian’s uncle is a Ghostbuster.

Suddenly weird things begin to happen in the house and they experience a real life ghost. The three are bonded by this scary moment and the credits roll.

We then jump to modern day New York.

The three remaining Ghostbusters are looking around their offices reminiscing about Egon (who has passed away) and discussing how the business has become a money pit. There hasn’t been a ghost in New York for over 20 years and their equipment is extremely dangerous after years of being inactive. On top of that, with no ghosts to bust they can barely afford the rent on the building.

It’s at this time that Jillian enters the firehouse. She has inherited Egon’s quarter of the business and actually wants to join the team.

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Peter, Ray and Winston decide that Jillian could be the ultimate solution to the financial albatross that is The Ghostbusters and they do her one better. They’ll give her their shares as well and make her the sole owner. This is admittedly a crude trick but we can make sure that all three get something bad in return. There’s a joke in the current film where Patti, Abby and Holtzmann are attacked by a giant Stay Puft Marshmellow Man balloon that keeps them pinned down. Instead of that happening to the female Ghostbusters we could make it that Peter, Ray and Winston decide to ultimately help the girls out only to get trapped under the balloon and be rendered old and useless. The four female Ghostbusters simply pop the balloon and save them, clearly stating that they are the newer, better models (take that, internet trolls).

Jillian excitedly calls her friends Abby and Erin to join her so they can continue their ghost hunting excitement. But they have since all but forgotten their experience 25 years ago. Much like in Ghostbusters 2, the two try to convince Jillian that her uncle was a scam artist who tricked New York into believing in ghosts for profit. But the mystery of a ghost reappearance reinvigorates them when Jillian is asked to investigate the historical site from the beginning of the film.

From this point on we can start to introduce our villain, who should have ties to the history of the Ghostbusters, and pick up right where we meet Patty in the current film. Most of the movie can play out the same way from this point except the villain actually has weight beyond being a random angry kid from Reddit.

By making these changes you immediately tie the film to the original films that the current version is already self conscious of, except now the cameos serve a purpose beyond being gags. It also removes the 20 minutes of retelling how the Ghostbusters were formed and avoids some of the weird missing elements of Erin and Abby’s friendship.

Since the equipment is still old and beat up, it still allows us to keep some of the more entertaining segments of the girls “testing out Jillian’s equipment” but also allows us to bypass some of the more obnoxious elements of the film where everyone but the younger section of the audience (and since this is the first PG-13 Ghostbusters film don’t tell me that’s who it’s specifically aimed at) has heard this dialogue and seen this before.

At the end of the day, what’s done is done. The movie is out there and it’s a hit. There will definitely be a sequel and honestly that’s a good thing. The main cast has fantastic chemistry and I’d be more than thrilled to see what a sequel would be like now that the tedious work of reestablishing the Ghostbusters has been done. I just hope that they now take things in a new fresh direction rather than continuing to pay fan service to films that their audience already has on their shelves at home.

‘LEGO Dimensions’ Adding Sonic, Adventure Time, Harry Potter, And More!

by The_acz

For about the past week, WB Games has been teasing fans about what’s next to come for their toys to life genre game Lego Dimensions, and today we finally got an answer.

Expect things to get even CRAZIER than they did in the first one because they are once again going all out. Some of the newcomers are Adventure Time, Harry Potter, Mission Impossible, Gremlins, Goonies, and many more. Even Sonic is joining in on the fun. YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! SONIC THE FREAKING HEDGEHOG HIMSELF. Not much more is known about the game whether it’s a full on sequel or just a massive expansion, but it seems like most of this stuff will be releasing this fall for PS3, PS4, Xbox One, Xbox 360, and Wii U. Are you excited about this? What franchise do you still want to see in Lego Dimensions? Tell us in the comments below!

Coming September 27th

-Ghostbusters Story Pack
-Adventure Time Level Pack
-Mission: Impossible Level Pack-
-Harry Potter Team Pack
-Adventure Time Team Pack
-The A-Team Fun Pack

Coming later are sets based on:

-Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
-The LEGO® Batman Movie
-The Goonies
-Sonic The Hedgehog
-Teen Titans Go!
-LEGO® City Undercover
-Knight Rider
-The Powerpuff Girls
-Gremlins
-Beetlejuice
-E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial

Build-A-Bear Workshop Adds ‘Finding Dory’ and ‘Ghostbusters’ To Its Lineup

by Natalie Kipper

Build-A-Bear Workshop has been diving headfirst into the movie well and two series in their new “Now Playing” line have caught my attention: Finding Dory and Ghostbusters. The Finding Dory items were released a few days ago in anticipation of the film coming to theaters June 17. Alongside the semi-generic “Ocean Bear” are impressively detailed plushes of Dory and Nemo. The pair are available to be stuffed in store, just like the typical bears, kitties, puppies, and ponies. You can also add voice boxes to them, containing dialogue from the movie.

What I am most excited for, however, is their Ghostbusters series. I mean, that is the cutest Slimer I have ever seen. And who wouldn’t want to dress up their plushes in the Ghostbusters uniform? No one! No one, I say! The toys and outfits are said to be released mid-June.

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New ‘Ghostbusters’ Trailer Featuring Slimer & The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?!?

by Bigyanks

The second trailer for the Ghostbuster movie has been released and its featuring some familiar faces this time around. I  feel like this is a way better trailer than the previous ones, showcasing more of the ghosts effects that we are to expect in the movie.

The trailer seems to be sending a message to its haters in the form a gag where Leslie Jones’ character, Patty, tries to go crowd surfing and no one catches her and she proclaims “..i don’t if it was a race thing or a lady thing but i’m mad as hell”. I for one am tired of the hate being spewed at the movie. It”s reminiscent to the massive heat that “Spy”  was receiving until it was released and is now currently holding a 94% Fresh Rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Either way I’m excited to get a new Gangbusters movie and can only hope for the best.

Crowdfund This: Ghostbusters: The Board Game II By Cryptozoic Entertainment

by Natalie Kipper

In just two hours, the Kickstarter campaign for Cryptozoic Entertainment’s Ghostbusters: The Board Game II had already reached its minimum pledge goal. Honestly, I am not surprised one bit. For starters, the original had a huge fanbase. And after demoing a prototype version at this year’s WonderCon, I can see where the draw is. What Ghostbusters fan wouldn’t dig a game that draws references not just from the movies, but also the cartoons, comics, and toy lines?  For those wanting to see the game in action, the team whipped a tutorial video. Let’s check it out.

Not only has the minimum pledge goal of $250,000 been met but a good chunk of the stretch goals are unlocked as well. There are 23 days left to go and at press time, there is already $523,657 in pledges.

Ghostbusters the Board Game II stretch goals

The base pledge that nets you the game costs $80. There are, of course other tiers that can get you rewards such as exclusive expansions, limited edition figures, and for high-rollers, the opportunity to bring your own ghost to life (afterlife?) or be written into IDW’s Ghostbusters comic.

I had a blast demoing the game and would definitely recommend that Ghostbusters fans  and board game players check it out.The Kickstarter for Ghostbusters: The Board Game II will end on May 9.

WonderCon 2016: Demoing Cryptozoic’s Ghostbusters: The Board Game II

by Natalie Kipper

I was fortunate enough to be invited by Cryptozoic Entertainment to visit their WonderCon booth and try out a prototype build of their upcoming project, Ghostbusters: The Board Game II. The roleplaying game will launch as a Kickstarter campaign on April 11.

Before we dive into the playthrough, let’s start with some background information. The original Ghostbusters: The Board Game also began as a Kickstarter and met its funding goal many, many times over. The fanbase was active and vocal during the development process and Cryptozoic took their feedback into consideration when creating the game.

One thing you will notice right away is that the art and monsters are all licensed. Sony Entertainment gave the team free reign with their licenses, including TV shows, toys, and comics. Each ghost and spirit is taken from that already-developed universe. The creators of IDW Publishing’s Ghostbusters comics provided the art used as a base for the squad’s character designs as well as wrote up the plots featured on the scenario cards.

Let’s talk about these scenario cards for a moment. One side features a little backstory write-up and the other shows a map describing how to layout the playing field at the start of the story. This is particularly interesting as it negates the need for a Game Master. It also allows you play to a single-player campaign (controlling all four Ghostbusters).

NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.
NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.

After arranging the game board to match what is shown on our chosen scenario card,  we all selected our characters. I played as Winston Zeddemore. Depending on which of the Ghostbusters you choose, you have different skills based on your level (which increases as you gain experience). Working together and utilizing characters’ skills effectively is the key to victory.

NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.
NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.

Notice how my character’s art is black and white? The card is actually two-sided, with a full-color illustration on the other. There are two different sides to designate your weapon’s attachment: a Slime Blower or a Proton Pack. The difference between the two comes into play when handling obstacles on the map. One is mostly used to remove ooze on the field while the other mainly is used to deal damage to ghosts. You are free to switch between the two on your turn but it will cost you one of your two precious maneuvers per turn.

NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.
NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.

There were several different ghosts in the scenario I played, one of which was the Street Creeper. The card explaining how the ghost will behave was a great example of the game being its own GM. Even the “random” element mentioned on the card is dealt with by way of a numbered directional board and a simple roll of the D8. Again, I can’t stress how awesome it was that licensed art was used for this game. It made the whole experience feel more authentic.

NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.
NOTE: Images are of a prototype build.

I was told that campaigns can last from one to four hours, depending on how many rounds you decide to play. I played just shy of an hour at WonderCon and I am sold. This is one Kickstarter campaign that I will definitely keep my eye on.

New ‘Ghostbusters’ Image Shows The Proton Packs In Action!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: We’re now just four months away from the release of Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters, and following the divisive first trailer from earlier this month, a new, Proton Pack-filled image from the film has debuted online via Empire.

The image features our four new ‘Busters, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig and Leslie Jones, “unloading their proton packs at a winged demon in a rock concert, in a scene briefly glimpsed in the trailer.”

Take a look at the image below, and be sure to let us know if you’re looking forward to Ghostbusters! The film hits theatres on July 15th!

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Check Out The ‘Ghostbusters’ Teaser

by Bigyanks

Sony just delivered a Valentines teaser for the new ‘Ghostbusters’ reboot. We get a quick glimpse of the armed services sprining into action to take care if some unknown conflict and the very important questioned being asked of “who we gonna call” if they cant handle said conflict. I’ve been holding out judgment of the new movie until i can see more and hopefully the teailer can swing me into getting wxcited for the film.

The films staring the all female ghostbusting cast (Wiig, McCarthy, McKinnon, Jones) will have its official trailer releaser on March 3, 2016

Paul Feig’s ‘Ghostbusters’ Gets Five New Stills!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: Last month we were given our first official look at Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones in next year’s Ghostbusters, as well as a few slick, slick character posters.

Today, Sony has debuted five new stills from the anticipated feature, showing off our characters in costume, and giving us a better sense of the film’s tone.

Yeah… Chris Hemsworth looks super cute.

Take a look at the images below, and be sure to let us know what you think! The film hits theatres on July 22nd!

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‘Ghostbusters’ Gets Four Slick New Character Posters!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: Just yesterday we were given our first official look at Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones in next year’s Ghostbusters, and less than 24 hours later we’ve received another look via these slick new character posters.

The images definitely show off a darker tone than what we’re used to with the franchise, though with the film’s star-studded comedic cast, we’re pretty much guaranteed plenty of laughs throughout its runtime.

In any case, you can take a look at the gorgeous images below, and be sure to let us know if you’re looking forward to Ghostbusters. The film hits theatres on July 22nd.

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Source: Entertainment Weekly, InStyle, People, Time

Take Your First Official Look At The ‘Ghostbusters’ Cast!

by Derek Kraneveldt

The world went wild earlier this year when the cast for Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters reboot was revealed. Wild, as in, showered Feig, the cast, and the idea with boatloads of praise… and buttloads of hate. Here at Geekscape we generally try to reserve judgement until we actually see a finished product, but what do we know anyways?

In any case, since Chris Hemsworth joined the project back in June, we haven’t heard much from the Ghostbusters camp.

Today, the team was officially revealed with this amazing cast photo.

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Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones will play Jillian Holtzmann, Erin Gilbert, Abby Yates, and Patty Tolan, and they look absolutely fabulous.

Are you looking forward to the film? Still feeling reserved? Sound out below! Ghostbusters hits theatres on July 22nd!

Crowdfund This: ‘Ghostheads’

by Derek Kraneveldt

I am absolutely in love with this idea.

When the original Ghostbuster hit theatres back in 1984, I was still a good six years from even being born, and it would be a number of years following that before I was ready for my first movie. I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure I would have started with some baby crap rather that gems like Ghostbusters and its 1989 sequel.

Thus, I’ve spent my entire life watching people of all ages, races, genders, and nationalities, build proton packs, ECTO-1’s, and celebrate a phenomenon that I’m too young to remember the birth of.

Now, I completely adore Ghostbusters (and you can bet your ass that I’m looking forward to next year’s reboot), but I’ve always wondered just why Ghostbusters garnered and maintained such an incredible influence on our culture. Hell, our own Eric Francisco just donned a Ghostbusters jumpsuit at New York Comic-Con, and at last weekend’s Halloween parade in Vancouver (yes, for some reason we have a parade for Halloween), a Ghostbusters group costume (including an inflated Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, was probably the most impressive aspect of the entire morning.

Thats’s why I’m beyond excited for Ghostheads, which is coming from director Brenden Maertens and producer Tommy Avallone (who directed the fantastic documentary I Am Santa Claus).

Basically, “Ghostheads are hardcore Ghostbusters Fans; the nickname was born in the mid 1980s after the huge growth of Ghostbusters fan base around the world. Ghostheads are just a collection of friends and acquaintance that decide to get together a couple of times a year, dress up in their Ghostbusters gear to either entertain people, attend conventions, screenings and even do charity work as well. Ghostheads are very much intuitive, as they re-build all of their very own Ghostbuster props from scratch, using only screen shots from the films as reference points.”

Sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it? How the heck do I joint?

Brendan and Tommy are currently following around Ghostheads; those amazing folks who dress like Ghostbusters, build proton packs, and drive around in ECTO-1s. The documentary also, of course, celebrates the cultural impact that the movie has had on the public for the last 31 years. Damn, that’s a long time. The film is also set to be narrated by Slimer voice actress Robin Shelby, and interviews are lined up with original cast and crew members of both films!

Want to see it? Fantastic! The film is already being worked on, but Brendan, Tommy, and the rest of the crew are going to need your help if Ghostheads is ever set to see the light of day.

Yesterday, the team launched a flexible-funding Indiegogo campaign in order to raise funds for the film. Ghostheads has a modest goal of just $30,000, and its already getting a running start with more than $2500 raised in less than a day!

As always, backers get a lot more than a documentary out of the deal. Backer rewards include copies of the film, Zack Ryder signed Peter Venkman Funko Pop! Figures, T-shirts, producer credits, birthday parties (yep), and more! There are certainly some fantastic rewards here that Ghostbusters fans should be jumping on.

Now, it’s all up to you! You can learn more about the film via the Indiegogo campaign video below, and head here to back the project! Be sure to let us know which rewards you’ll be looking for. Can’t back it yourself? I’m pretty sure that you know someone who loves Ghostbusters, and would absolutely want to be a part of this!

https://youtu.be/sYo-_2xKwls

Allison Brie’s Unikitty Returns In The Latest ‘Lego Dimensions’ Trailer!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: There is no way that I can pick up Lego Dimensions. The day that Nintendo’s Amiibo figures released, I decided that I would buy just one, and to this date I’ve purchased every. single. figure. I become addicted to things far too easily, and Lego Dimensions would be no different.

Which is unfortunate, because the game looks absolutely phenomenal, and mixes a ridiculous amount of properties together in an incredible amount of ways.

A new trailer for the game has just hit the web, letting us know that the always fabulous Allison Brie would be reprising the role of Unikitty in the game. It’s a hilarious new look at the game that’s going to sell a lot of Lego this holiday season. In the trailer, Alison gets pulled through the LEGO Gateway and into the digital game as Unikitty, the half unicorn, half anime kitten from Cloud Cuckoo Land, to battle alongside Batman, Gandalf and Wyldstyle in their quest to stop Lord Vortech and save the LEGO Multiverse.

The LEGO Dimensions Starter Pack includes a complete, mission-based The LEGO Movie level, plus The LEGO Movie Adventure World, an additional open-world environment, which can be unlocked with the Wyldstyle minifigure that comes with the game.

For fans of The LEGO Movie that want to customize their LEGO Dimensions experience, there will be a Unikitty Fun Pack with LEGO Unikitty minifigure and Cloud Cuckoo Car, an Emmet Fun Pack with a LEGO Emmet minifigure and Excavator, a Bad Cop Fun Pack with a LEGO Bad Cop minifigure and Police Car, and a Benny Fun Pack with a LEGO Benny minifigure and Spaceship. These highly collectible Fun Packs will provide new buildable characters and vehicles, as well as special in-game abilities. Every vehicle and gadget can be physically built and then rebuilt twice for a total of three different objects that do entirely different things in the digital game for massive variety.

Lego Dimensions hits PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, and Wii U on September 27th.

‘Lego Dimensions’ Gets Even Bigger With Adventure Worlds

by Josh Jackson

We’ve discussed the story mode coming to Lego Dimensions, but the game doesn’t end with the story, which is made obvious by the Adventure Worlds featured in one of the game’s most recent trailers!

Sure, traveling across universes in the main campaign is nice and all, but what if you want to just visit Gotham? Or the Aperture Science labs? The Emerald City? Adventure Worlds make this happen, dedicated stages that focus on one property. Promising 14 full open worlds in game with more expansions releasing separately, (including the already announced Ghostbusters set,) it’s looking like Dimensions will keep us busy for a long, long time.

The best part? Any character can be used with any world, lifting the restrictions placed by other games in the genre. The only time you *need* a character from the property the world is based on is to unlock it in the first place.

What are your thoughts? Is all of this content starting to sound like it’s worth what might be a hefty investment? And what properties do you want to see join the fray? Are there any left? Comment below, and watch the trailer to see the Adventure Worlds in action!

 

Great Scott! Christopher Lloyd As Doc Brown In This LEGO Dimensions Trailer!

by Bigyanks

Christopher Lloyd is back as Doc Brown for LEGO venture into cross worlds video gaming with ‘LEGO Dimensions’.

In ‘LEGO Dimensions’ your favorite characters from DC Comics, The Simpsons, The Lord of the Rings, The LEGO Movie, Back to the Future, The Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo, Jurassic World, Ghostbusters and Doctor Who are coming together to be part of an all new immersive adventure. The last time we got this many properties together for a crossover adventure was with ‘Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue’.

LEGO enters the “toys-to-life” gaming market with the vast properties they have acquired through its regular LEGO line. I personally tried Disney Infinity 1.0. Wasn’t too much of fan of its game play mechanics and limitations. However, LEGO seems to have made numerous improvements so I may have to sneak this on to my daughter’s Christmas wishlist to give it a go.

‘Lego Dimensions’ starts building September 27 on PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Windows PC, Xbox 360 and Xbox One.

Geekscape Movie Reviews: Vacation (2015)

by MCDave

When Harold Ramis passed away last year, a comedic legend was lost. But while most people who look back at Ramis will see Dr. Egon Spengler from the Ghostbusters films, his greatest achievements came from beyond the camera where he directed classics like Caddyshack, Groundhog Day and National Lampoon’s Vacation. Fast-forward a trio of decades and a promising young team of writers and directors, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, turn to funnyman Ed Helms to revive the Griswold’s family legacy. And let’s just say, Harold Ramis would be extremely proud of their decision

When regional pilot and a grown up Rusty Griswold (Helms) detects some serious troubles at home, he decides to spice things up by taking his unenthusiastic family on a road trip to the majestic theme park from his childhood, “Walley World”. But in typical Griswold tradition, what was supposed to be a fun-filled bonding experience turns into a hellish road trip that pushes each of them to their respective limits. Yet, if they can just make it to “Walley World” and ride the epic Velociraptor roller coaster, perhaps the trip will be worth it after all.

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Unlike many (and I do mean many) 21st century comedies that rely on shock value to generate amusement from its crowd, Vacation finds humor in a reminiscently familiar place. Capturing all of the mannerisms and bone-headed charm of former patriarch, Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase), Ed Helms gives a nostalgic performance that is a breath of fresh air from all of these poorly written and contemporary comedies. The writing and directing duo, Daley and Goldstein, mold together a brilliant concoction of the older films with some modern edgy twists that allow Vacation to stand as a solid film all on its own. Each new member of the Griswold family plays a vital role to the story and truly encapsulates the all-for-one tradition of the iconic franchise.

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Despite many riotous laughs and unforgettable scenes, Vacation fails to go from start to finish without a hiccup. There are a handful of over-the-top and unrealistic situations that would usually plague a film such as this, but Helms and his co-stars always guide the audience back to the Griswold family norm, which is too good of a place to resist. Another noticeable blemish resides in the somewhat hefty collection of jokes that don’t pan out. Although these moments are sporadic, but evident, throughout the entire film, it becomes routine to let them pass by with ease as more of Vacation‘s cheeky and hysterical humor is always quick to follow.

In an age where reboots, remakes and sequels are typically off base and disappointing, Vacation serves as a gratifying reminder of when a new branding is handled with respect and class. While I must caution that the film is by no means an instant classic like its original source material, this new entry delivers an abundance of laughs and proves to be a worthy inclusion to the franchise. The actors go all-out and it pays huge dividends by the time the credits roll. If you’re a fan of the Griswolds, then don’t miss your chance to relive another adventure with one of our favorite movie families.

GRADE: 3.5/5

Check out other work from MCDAVE at his host site

 

Chris Hemsworth Cast in ‘Ghostbusters’

by Bigyanks

Chris Hemsworth has joined the cast of the Paul Feig-directed Ghostbusters reboot, which will feature an all-female team. Chris Hemsworth has been cast as the receptionist, which was previously portrayed by Annie Potts.  Now we just need the role of Louis Tully to be filled.

I still don’t know how I feel about this reboot. I’m waiting to hear more about the plot and maybe some concept art. Also the whole boys cast and girls cast feels like a “cash grab” and just more of studios jumping on the shared cinematic universe bandwagon. Growing up, I was a huge Ghostbusters fan,  so I’m actually rooting for this to work out.

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Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones are cast as the lead ‘Ghostbusters’.

Stop Whining: An All-Male ‘Ghostbusters’ Is Also In The Works

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: You can stop whining about the all-female Ghostbusters now, jerks.

Deadline has learned that Sony has formed “Ghostcorps, a new production company whose principals include original Ghostbusters architects Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd; they will have offices at Sony with the mission to scare up branding opportunities based on the 1984 comedy classic.”

Yep, so we’re getting another Ghostbusters film to go with Paul Feig’s 2016 reboot (which hasn’t even started production yet).

Community and Captain America: The Winter Soldiers directors Joe and Anthony Russo will helm the film, while Iron Man 3 (ugh) writer Drew Pierce will write the script.

Apparently, Channing Tatum is one of the producers on the film, and will likely star (since he’s so good at launching franchises).

“We want to expand the Ghostbusters universe in ways that will include different films, TV shows, merchandise, all things that are part of modern filmed entertainment,” Reitman told Deadline. “This is a branded entertainment, a scary supernatural premise mixed with comedy. Paul Feig’s film will be the first version of that, shooting in June to come out in July 2016. He’s got four of the funniest women in the world, and there will be other surprises to come. The second film has a wonderful idea that builds on that. Drew will start writing and the hope is to be ready for the Russo Brothers’ next window next summer to shoot, with the movie coming out the following year. It’s just the beginning of what I hope will be a lot of wonderful movies.”

So, after not having a Ghostbusters film in over 25 years, the market sounds like it could be pretty saturated, pretty quickly.

Are you down for even more Ghostbusters? Or was one reboot enough? Sound out below!

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Leslie Jones Has Tweeted A Photo Of Our New Ghostbusters!

by Derek Kraneveldt

The world went wild a few weeks back when the cast for Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters reboot was revealed. Wild, as in, showered Feig, the cast, and the idea with boatloads of praise… and buttloads of hate. I try to reserve judgement until I actually see a finished product, but what do I know anyways?

In any case, NEW Ghostbuster Leslie Jones has uploaded a few photos from Sunday night’s SNL40 after party. One of the pics showcases the actress with Ghostbusters co-stars Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, and Kate McKinnon. They’re definitely in party mode and not Ghostbusting mode, but it’s pretty interesting in any case.

Take a look at the photo below, and let us know if you’re looking forward to the film. Ghostbusters hits theatres on July 22nd, 2016!

‘Ghostbusters’ Reboot Gets A Release Date, Casting Info!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters reboot just got a release date, and we know know which lucky ladies of Hollywood will be the ones to don the sought-after Proton Packs.

First up, when we can see it:

And now, our starring ladies:

Yep, that’s Bridesmaid‘s Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy, along with SNL‘s Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon. The script is currently being written by director Paul Feig and The Heat (ugh) scribe Katie Dippold.

Are you down for the all female heroes? How about these females in particular? Sound out below!

Happy 30th Anniversary, Ghostbusters! Here Are Our Ten Favourite Quotes From The Film!

by Dennis Finocchiaro

To celebrate the official 30th anniversary of the film Ghostbusters, I will be putting together my new Lego Ghostbusters set, watching the movie, and sharing my top ten quotes from the film, in no particular order (mostly because I couldn’t choose which was my favorite!)

10. To start off, I’ve always loved the commercial, so it has to be in the top 10:

9. Easily Winston’s best line, and clearly one of the greatest in the film, finishes up this little scene when the boys are fighting Gozer:

Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Ray: No.
Gozer: Then… DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

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8. Another favorite is the scene in the mayor’s office with the infamous Walter Peck:

Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Venkman: Yes it’s true. This man has no dick.
Peck: Jeez!
[Charges at Venkman]
Mayor: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!
Peck: All right, all right, all right!
Venkman: Well, that’s what I heard!

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7. And while I love all of the scenes between the possessed Dana Barrett and Venkman, I have to go with one of these two:

Dana: [as The Gatekeeper] I want you inside me.
Venkman: It sounds like you’ve got at least two or three people in there already.

Dana: There is no Dana only Zuul.
Venkman: What a lovely singing voice you must have.

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6. One of the more subtle quotes that always gets me:

Ray: Listen… do you smell something?

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5. This line is just one of those iconic moments of the movie, so it had to be here:

Janine: Hello, Ghostbusters… Yes, of course they’re serious… You do?… You have?… No kidding! Just gimme the address… Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you!
[hangs up]
Janine: WE GOT ONE!

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4. Then there’s Stay Puft:

Gozer: The Choice is made!
Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
Gozer: The Traveller has come!
Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
[turns to Egon]
Venkman: Did you choose anything?
Egon: No.
Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
Winston: My mind is totally blank.
Venkman: *I* didn’t choose anything…
[long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
Ray: I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.
Venkman: What? *What* “just popped in there?”
Ray: I… I… I tried to think…
Egon: LOOK!
Ray: No! It CAN’T be!
Venkman: What is it?
Ray: It CAN’T be!
Venkman: What did you DO, Ray?
Winston: Oh, shit!
[they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
Ray: [somberly] It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

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3. Of course, no list would be complete without the Twinkie:

Venkman: How’s the grid holding up?
Egon: Not good.
Winston: Tell him about the Twinkie.
Venkman: What about the Twinkie?

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2. The fantastic attack on Gozer:

Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST. Okay; sticks?
Ray, Egon & Winston: HOLDIN’!
Venkman: Heat ’em up!
Ray, Egon & Winston: SMOKIN’!
Venkman: MAKE ‘EM HARD!
Ray, Egon & Winston: READY!
Venkman: Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

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1. And of course, I’ve saved the best, most iconic line of the film, for last:

Venkman: He slimed me.

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Of course, I’m sure some of you disagree, or feel I forgot some important ones. So feel free to comment with your favorite Ghostbusters quotes!

And for a little more fun, here’s a video:

Dennis Finocchiaro’s Five Favorite Harold Ramis Movie Quotes

by Dennis Finocchiaro

I’m a huge Harold Ramis fan, from his big roles like Ghostbusters to his smaller ones in Knocked Up and Groundhog Day. So I decided to root through some of the lines he is most famous for (in my mind) and post them.

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#5 Knocked Up (2007): In a small role as Ben’s dad, I thought he was excellent. It makes me wish his scenes weren’t cut from High Fidelity, in which he was also supposed to play the main character’s father.

Ben’s Dad: Life doesn’t care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it.

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#4 Stripes (1981): I think I love this one because I am a teacher and this reminds me of the way my job feels sometimes.

[when Russell is teaching English class]
Russell Ziskey: Okay, I know you’re anxious to jump right in and start speaking English, but there’s a couple of things I need to know first, because I’ve never done this before. So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulties?
[pause]
Russell Ziskey: A little English?
[a man raises his hand]
Russell Ziskey: Yes? You speak some English?
Man learning English: Son of bitch. Shit.
Class: [in unison] Son of bitch. Shit.

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#3 Ghostbusters II (1989): This one explains his character in a short statement.

Dr. Egon Spengler: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.

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#2 Ghostbusters (1984): Then there’s the classic moment at the end of the movie.

Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

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#1 Ghostbusters (1984): I can’t possibly do a list like this and not include his comparison between ghost activity and a favorite snack treat.

Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

Honorable Mention: Ghostbusters (1984): This one shows how ahead of the times his character was, considering how much technology has changed since 1984.

Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.

Did I miss any great ones? Let us know in the comments!

Harold Ramis, Star of Ghostbusters and Stripes, Dies

by Dennis Finocchiaro

The comedy world suffered a huge loss today as Harold Ramis, better known as Egon to all fans of the 80s, died of autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis after long battles with his health.

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The star of Ghostbusters and Stripes also helped create Caddyshack and wrote films like Animal House, Groundhog Day and Meatballs.

He was also director of some amazing classics like National Lampoon’s Vacation, and was a part of the making of such films as Back to School, Armed and Dangerous and Analyze This.

Geekscape Geekout: Lego ‘Ghostbusters’ Photos Released Online, And They’re Absolutely Perfect!

by Dennis Finocchiaro

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with Legos, and while I was super excited for the Lego Back to the Future set, that is easily topped by the release of a Lego Ghostbusters set. It’s due out in June and the first images were released at the New York Toy Fair.

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The set includes all four Ghostbusters and the Ecto-1, their vehicle. This is a Lego CUUSOO set, which means Lego fans created ideas for future sets, they got enough votes from other Lego fans, and then Lego decided to go forward with the design. Plus, the designer gets 1% of the revenue, which is also quite cool.

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This set will coincide with the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters. Lucky for us Lego/Ghostbusters fans, Bill Murray must not have needed to sign off on the idea so Peter Venkman is included with the set. I do kind of wish they were coming out with a Stay Puft set to go along with it. Also unfortunate is that there is no Dana, only Zuel (I mean or Zuul).

So what I would like to know is, what are some other sets you wish Lego would come up with? Let us know in the comments below!

Geekscape Geek-Out: Welcome to Springfield LEGO-STYLE

by Dennis Finocchiaro

When The Simpsons debuted in 1989, a lot of parents (mine included) were wary of letting their children watch the rambunctious show. But I remember every Sunday night, the playgrounds would empty out and we would run to our homes in time to catch the show. I was allowed to watch, mostly because my parents were fans of The Tracey Ullman Show, where the nutty family originally debuted with shorts.

As much as I hate to write two Lego articles in a row, I can’t help but be excited for the big Lego announcement this week. The Simpsons will be released in Lego form sometime in 2014, and while my bank account may not be looking forward to it, I surely am.

Personally I’d rather see The Muppets in Lego form (A Lego Cuusoo member has created a set and is gathering votes as I write this) seeing Bart, Homer and the other regulars will be so much fun. I’m also curious to see which other Springfield locals are released. While I’m sure characters like Krusty will be made, I’d love to see a little Hans Moleman, Comic Book Guy and some of the smaller characters in Lego form.

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Ultimately, these sets will be released, but much to the dismay of SOME Lego fans. Some fans began speaking out against the sets, saying the show isn’t as kid friendly as the other Lego genres. But I fail to see how this is any more offensive than some of the lines in Avengers, or even those sets based on the darker Batman films.

And while we’re talking Legos, the Lego Ghostbusters fan-created set quickly gathered the 10,000 votes it needed to be considered as a Lego set. The question now is if Lego can afford the licensing, and the hope that they won’t have to get Bill Murray to sign off on the set. Just kidding.

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‘MIB 3’ Screenwriter Hired To Write ‘Ghostbusters 3’

by Scott Alminiana

Sony Pictures refuses to let the idea of Ghostbusters 3 fade away. They have now hired the screenwriter of Men In Black 3, Etan Cohen to rewrite the script. Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky were the last guys to take a crack at writing it but as we reported last week, Bill Murray didn’t feel the scripts were good enough.

Other than writing Men In Black 3, Cohen has written Idiocracy and Tropic Thunder. He will make his feature directorial debut with Paramount’s horror-comedy Boy Scouts vs. Zombies.

Sure, he’s (co)written some funny movies but is he the man that will finally write a great script for Ghostbusters 3? It’s been speculated for quite sometime that the threequel would see the original Ghostbusters  (Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson and Bill Murray) pass the torch to a new generation of Ghostbusters. Is that really a movie anyone wants to see though? I grew up with the first two movies and love them, I just watched Ghostbusters 2 last night actually, but it’s been twenty-three years since the last one came out. I think a third movie just couldn’t possibly live up to the first two. I think Sony just needs to let this one go.

Source: Variety 

Get These Awesome Posters Just In Time For Comic-Con!!!

by Scott Alminiana

Well folks, Comic-Con ’12 is fast approaching. It’s just 5 loooong days away! Here’s something awesome to help hold you over until it arrives.

Andrew Heath is a graphic designer and he has some awesome prints available in honor of this years Comic-Con. The Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2 print is a limit edition run of only 15. It is 18″x24,” hand numbered and signed and goes for $50. The rest are either $10 or $20. They are available for purchase here. What do you think, do you want them as badly as I do?

‘Ghostbusters 3’ Gets A New Writing Staff

by Shawn Madden

Recently Bill Murray appeared on Letterman stating that he would be open to making a third ‘Ghostbusters’ but he didn’t feel that the scripts so far were right. Murray stated “You know, you just gotta have a really good script. It’s hard. Even the second ‘Ghostbusters’ wasn’t as much fun for me as the first one. It’s hard to make a sequel. It’s gotta be really funny, and that first one was just so darn funny.” And it looks like Dan Akroyd was listening and is working hard to make it happen.

The last writers to work on the script were Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. This team brought us the great ‘Year One’ and ‘Bad Teacher’. Okay no more sarcasm from this point on.

During a recent interview at an WNY event Akroyd stated “We’ve got a new writing staff working on it now. It’s got to be prefect. That’s the whole thing. There’s no point in doing it unless it’s perfect. So that’s what we’re up to now.”

This project has been in talks for quite some time now. Do you think we will ever see it go into production? Or will one of the cast be ghosts by the time it comes around?

Source: WIVB

Geekscape Roundtable: Fictional Characters We’d Bang… PART TWO!

by GeekscapeStaff

It’s part 2 of the most important discussion known to mankind!

Everyone has a fictional character they’d bang, whether it’s someone from a movie, a comic, or a car insurance company. So the Geekscape staff put together their top 5 lists, High Fidelity style. 

Joe Starr

Black Widow: Specifically the Iron Man 2/Avengers Black Widow. “Is that dirty enough for you?” COME ON. I actually wasn’t on the ScarJo train until Iron Man 2, and by the time the Avengers credits were rolling I was riding the train like a DJ from the Quad Cities.  Note to self: Do more things like a Quad City DJ. She’s hot, she’s tough. Plus, she’s written by Joss Whedon so you know we will have clever banter. OH the banter we will have.

Arcee from Transformers Prime: This one isn’t about sex. I mean, that happens, but I’m pretty sure that this is the first female character that I’ve found myself admiring and investing in in years. I mean, she’s amazingly strong and independent, a tough but warm woman you can’t help but respect. She’s a breath of fresh air from fake stupid pixie dream girls like The New Girl in the same way that Thor and Captain America were a nice break from ‘guys that want to focus on their photography’ for ladies. It’s not my fault she’s a robot that turns into a motorcycle that I’d have sex with.

Margaery Tyrell: Tyrell is unnervingly beautiful. She’s a subtle player in the Game of Thrones making smart moves. After all, remember what Training Day Denzel said: This is chess, it ain’t checkaz! Tyrell is a chess player. And sometimes she shows her boobs sometimes.

Emma Stone: Ok, look. Emma Stone isn’t real. She can’t be. She’s got all of the hotness Lohan had going for herself circa Mean Girls and none of the coke and coke and coke and coke. Also, she seems pretty rad. Way too rad to be real. It’s like life’s writers felt bad about Lohan and gave the world a do over. I want them to fight. It would be fucking epic. I’m pretty sure Lindsay would work as an alt dimension evil Emma, because she’s starting to get a bit of a goatee.

Kaylee Frye: Look, if we’re gonna go Pixie Dream Girl let’s at least go with one that can fix a starship with a roll of duct tape and sheer will. This chick would roll her eyes at Zooey Deschanel and then hit her with a wrench. And then have sex with me fingers crossed?

Allison McKnight

David Xanatos from Gargoyles:  Look, I’m just going to lay it all out there.  He’s hot.  Look at that stylish ponytail, that jawline and those shoulders.  And not only is he infinitely bangable, he’s a mastermind, manipulating the world to suit his visions.  He moved an entire castle!  How many men can say that?

Caesar from Xena:  Molly may have her heart-on for Ares, but we all know where it’s actually at: Caesar, as played by Karl Urban.  Oof.  Can I get that a second time.  Oof.  That is one sexy hunk of sociopathic manflesh, right there.  He can chain me up, torture me, and take over the civilized world any day.

Gregory House: It’s House, for christsake.  This is the man who walks around, scowling, picking people’s brains apart like he was ripping open a wad of cotton candy.  Gooey, emotion-filled cotton candy.  Even with only one good leg, he’s probably a better lay than… well, I’m not going to name names.

Richard B. Riddick: Sure, he’s a bit of a deviation from my usual lust for Magnificent Bastards, but have you seen those pecs?  In all seriousness, that man is a sex ninja.  That’s right: a sex ninja.  I’m talking about going through positions that normally aren’t physically possibleand he’s all bestial-hind-brain driven– you can tell by his opening narrative that he’s not just a growler, he’s a biter.

Mitsuomi Takayanagi from Tenjho Tenge:  This is a bit of an obscure character for most and, man, is his hair odd.  But when you’re an intelligent piece of beefcake that is casually manipulating people into potential deadly scenarios so you can finally bang your angry ex-girlfriend into submission… mrowr.

Russell Sherman

Jessica Rabbit: Now this is the only female character that could make me choose to be straight.  She’s sexy, loves the nerdy type and is committed to her man, sure she likes to pay patty cake but who doesn’t?  This chick is all right in my books.

Dr. Emmett Brown: Inventor of the stylish time machine, the Tardis may have a pool but it’s not a DeLorean.  Who would want to spend their lifetime traveling through time with their lover?  Doc is the whole package, he’s a creator, smart, artistic (although not always to scale) and the man can dance.

Sam and Dean Winchester: Those two have earned sex from everyone on the planet, they prevented the Apocalypse, fought the devil (and won), and are actively trying to make the world a better place even though it keeps taking everyone they care about away.  We owe them this, gay straight doesn’t matter they have earned a spit roast with you in the middle.

Merlin: He’s frikin’ magic for crying out loud, this is a man that could make all of your dreams come true.  If you want to frak on a magic carpet ride he could make it happen.  You want to ride a unicorn down the wedding isle again he could make this happen.

Wallace Wells: The gossip man who owns all the cool things in Scott’s apartment.  He’s sarcastic, Canadian and gay so this makes him the one character on this list that I’d actually have a chance with not to mention if things work out we could actually get hitched and it’d be legal.  That man is good looking in both the comics and the movie and is not afraid to speak his mind.

Matt Blackwood

Aela the Huntress from Skyrim: Face tattoos, mismatched armor, lots of skin showing- she’s like a medieval Suicide Girl. Plus, she’ll kill a storm atronach with a rusty dagger if you ask her. Of course, there is that “wet dog” issue; is there a Valtrex for lycanthropy?

Blink from Exiles: She’s brave, clever, kind. And pink. All over. Also, you never have to worry about being late again; with her portal power, you can go wherever you want INSTANTANEOUSLY! You want to step out for Chinese in Beijing? Bring a Somalian family to the never-ending pasta bowl? Get a Facebook profile pic on the Moon? Blink can make it happen. And did I mention she’s pink?

Terry Griffith from Just One of the Guys: Terry is the best kind of girl- one with balls. As a budding investigative journalist, Terry fights against the rampant sexual discrimination she faces by going undercover in drag to write an expose. She’s tough and funny and smart and willing to fight for the disenfranchised. And if you’re one of the guys who saw the flashing scene in his formative years, I don’t have to tell you what a model of physical perfection she is.

Margrethe from Job: A Comedy of Justice: While God and the Devil play their sick games with our hero (randomly dropping him in alternate realities Sliders-style in this classic Heinlein twist), Margrethe is the only constant good. The Danish stewardess is kind, understanding, and sexy. And anyone who makes sandwiches that can LITERALLY be considered heaven is worth holding on to.

The Mother from How I Met Your Mother: Like JJ Abrams, I’m obsessed with a mystery box. In 7 seasons, we’ve never actually met the mother. It’s the most misleading title since BJ and the Bear. Will we ever actually see her or is she like the alien from Contact? Is the mother just a concept, an ineffable ideal? Well, if the pedigree of Ted’s past girlfriends (including Cobie Smulders, Jennifer Morrison, and Mandy Moore) is any indication, the unseen mother is going to be totally effable.

Brian Gilmore

(Editor’s note: NSFW…It’s Gilmore)

Ariel from The Little Mermaid: Now, you can only really either go kind of masogynist or extremely masogynist on this one. Because you either have a girl that has no other choice but to go with mouth sexies all day all the time or one that’s super hot and can’t talk. She’s really willing to go a long way for you, too with the whole abandoning her people and voice thing. And she’s always pretty much topless, which is awesome. Also she wouldn’t get fat from having kids with you since they’d probably just grow in egg sacs.

This just got weird. Moving on.

Daphne from Scooby Doo: Any girl that wears a vagina-length skirt to a swamp and yet bothers to wear a scarf is fine by me. She’s also an idiot, which is awesome for a 1-night stand… I mean, they’re all idiots on that show unless every crook in the Scoobyverse is good enough at make-up design to be a contestant on Face Off. Also she’ll think you’re awesome in bed, since all she’s used to banging is one of the most infamously closeted gay characters in classic cartoon history. I always kind of assumed he was so obviously fabulous that he dressed her. One day: “gurrrl, how you wearin that fabulous purple dress with no flair?! Here, borrow one of my scarves!” Not only are her insanely hot fashion choices the thing that made me realize that legs rule, but she has red hair, and as we already established, this matters.

Tinkerbell: NO. SHUT UP. HEAR ME OUT. So, I’m not going to try to make the age-old argument of “hell yeah, I’d make her look like a lobster dinner” that you’ve heard pretty much since before we walked upright as a species and consistently every night as a child. This isn’t why we’re here. We’re all better than that. It’s because it wouldn’t entail any actual kind of P-in-V, so it’d be a one of a kind experience. Let me explain. And I’m so sorry for this. She’d be buzzing about at maximum speed all over you and everything would just kind of feel like as if Fleshlights worked themselves hands-free while you sat comfortably in a vibrating chair. She’d be the Brookstone of fictional lovers. Also, awesome fashion choice once again. Strapless dress that goes up to the fallopes even when 90% of the time she’s flying? Awesome fashion choice.

Wait. We can pick people played by actual humans?

Inara from Firefly: The only downside to this is that she might be a little disappointed because it’d be like asking a surgeon to do surgery at home (I swear to God there’s a better analogy for that). But she’s trained to do this. It seriously has to rule. Also you’d be doing it in space, which is awesome. Although technically I guess you’re always in space. But after letting her show you why only rich white dudes can afford her, assuming she’d be hosting (and yes, these are all now Craiglist casual encounters in my head), you could go down to the cockpit and play dinosaurs with Wash, as long as this was a time in which we hadn’t watched how he soared yet.

The Nun That Kate Upton Plays in the New Three Stooges Movie: I just really want to have unprotected Catholic sex with Kate Upton.

Stephen Prescott

Joan Halloway from Mad Men: Va-va-va-voom!

Winifred Burkle from Angel: She is the definition of adorkable and she’s a genius to boot. Zooey Deschanel wishes she had an ounce of the awesome that Fred has.

River Song from Doctor Who: Super smart, omnisexual and psychopathic. Everything I look for in a woman.

Irene Adler from Sherlock: Sherlock’s equal in almost every way. Also any woman who considers getting naked “putting on her battle armor” is a woman I’d like to meet.

Rose Tyler from Doctor Who: I don’t think there will ever be a time where I don’t have a total crush on Rose. I could blather on forever about how clever she is and how gorgeous she is and how much fun it would be to travel through space and time with her. I feel as though I completely understand why the Doctor loved her so much.

Jonathan London

The Cuckoos: Choices 1-3 MADE in a Greg Land drawn mind sexing! And one of them is in profile because Greg Land couldn’t find anymore three quarter model shots to trace in the Sears catalogue!

Gambit: He’s just a shithead. A bangable shithead that smells like cigarettes and strip clubs.

A bunch of pugs dressed up as Elf Quest characters: Editor’s note: JK this exists at London’s house and is not fictional.

Justin Lamb

Zuul The Gatekeeper: Dana Barrett is a triple threat. She’s a culturally affluent Manhattanite who plays the cello. She enjoys aerobics but knows when to spoil herself with a bag of Stay-Puft marshmallows. And she’s the corporeal medium for a demigod worshiped by the Sumerians and Hittites in 6000 BC. Long story short, things could get frigthful, but I ain’t afraid of no ghosts. Our safety word could be proton pack. Are you the keymaster? Yes. Yes, I am.

Pris from Blade Runner: Basic. Pleasure. Model.

Mrs. Brisby from The Secret of NIMH: I feel for Mrs. B. She is a sweet widower who wears that Pixie cut really well. She sort of reminds me of Mrs. Dawes, the 40-something woman who used to live next to my parents. Mrs. Dawes would work in her garden in a swimsuit top and khaki Mom shorts but she would still look surprisingly hot. Who knows, one night after stealing some corn from Farmer Fitzgibbons, maybe I would be cutting through her yard and oops I sprain my ankle. Mrs. B takes me inside to help me ice it down but instead things heat up. And then we put that red hood over those old photos of Jonathan Brisby.

Erin the Esurance Girl: Fearless, smart and sexy – whether she was stopping giant death-ray wielding automatons or saving me up to 25% on my auto insurance, this secret agent always sent me Thunderballing. Esurance stopped using her after she did poorly in a survey of popular corporate mascots. Despite being decommissioned though, she still fires up my Burn Unit.

An adult version of Princess Ruto from Ocarina of Time: I spent so many hours on that fucking Water Temple…I earned this.