Tag: Hulk

Geekscape 576: Zombie Cage Fighting With Nate “Rock” Quarry!

by Jonathan

Former UFC fighter Nate “Rock” Quarry has been fighting his entire life. Raised within an abusive cult, movies, video games and comic books were Nate’s first means of escape. Later as an MMA fighter Nate talks about his fights in the octagon and as a single father that led to him creating “Zombie Cage Fighter”, his new zombies meets MMA fighting graphic novel that you can support right now on Kickstarter. Along the way we talk about dealing with depression, classic fights in comic books and the awesomeness of collecting everything from Star Wars figures to Bowen Designs statues! And also dealing with bullies at your daughter’s school!

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The Geekscape ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Special With Ian Kerner!

by Jonathan

‘Avengers: Infinity War’, arguably the biggest movie event of all time, is out and we’ve all seen it (and if not, don’t listen because MAJOR SPOILER WARNINGS)! And after seeing all the characters and plotlines of this 2 and a half hour epic, we’re sure you’ve got a ton of questions! What was Doctor Strange’s plan? Who lived? Who didn’t? How will Marvel bring some of our favorite heroes back? What’s in store for us with Avengers 4? Where does Iron Man go from here? How does Captain America rebuild the Avengers? Who is stronger than Thor? Who is Captain Marvel? What does this mean for ‘Ant-Man and The Wasp’? Luckily, it’s ALL ANSWERED HERE and by none other than our own Ian Kerner! So sit back and assemble because this episode is loaded!

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The Geekscape ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ Special With Ian Kerner!

by Jonathan

‘Thor: Ragnarok’ has arrived and it is glorious! Crammed to the gills with action, humor, massive set pieces and wonderful character moments, Thor’s 3rd solo film is widely regarded as his best yet. Do we agree? I sit down with Ian Kerner for another Geekscape special to discuss the cameos, Thor VS Hulk, Hela’s status as one of the best villains in the MCU, the adaptation of ‘Planet Hulk’, how ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ fits into the wider MCU, what it means for ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ and so much more! You know Ian is going to bring the knowledge and there is a LOT to talk about this film so listen up and enjoy!

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The Coca-Cola Super Bowl Spot Has Hulk & Ant-Man Duking It Out!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: This has to be the best Super Bowl spot that I’ve seen so far this year.

The video features two thirsty heroes, and just one Coca-Cola Mini. “Witness an epic chase between Marvel’s biggest and smallest Super Heroes: the Incredible Hulk and Astonishing Ant-Man. Despite their differences in size, Hulk and Ant-Man both know what it’s like to get thirsty. But when there’s just one #CokeMini left in the fridge, who will prevail?”

Yep. It’s about Ant-Man and Hulk fighting over the last Coca-Cola Mini, and it’s freaking awesome.

Take a look below, and be sure to let us know what you think!

https://youtu.be/OlZqBR3yTiw

Damn, could I ever go for a Coke right now.

Wizard World Philadelphia 2015 Preview!

by Dennis Finocchiaro

Wizard World Comic Con is starting up tomorrow in Philadelphia, and tonight was the press event, held at the always-classy Hard Rock Cafe. Such a fitting place to kick off the Philadelphia visit of so many famous actors, writers, artists and more.

1 hard rock rotating guitar-304

The weekend started with Lou Ferrigno (The Hulk), Vincent Young (Beverly Hills 90210), and Chris 51 (Epic Ink). What an event! They had a Q&A with fans and everyone had a blast.

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Some of the big events this weekend include Hayley Atwell and a panel on Agent Carter, David Tennant and Billie Piper doing a whole Doctor Who weekend, Katie Cassidy and Stephen Amell from Arrow, and so many more.

The one I’m most looking forward to, besides the Agent Carter panel, is M. Night Shyamalan’s Q&A and sneak preview of the first episode of Wayward Pines.

Keep checking back this weekend and throughout the next week for more from Wizard World in Philadelphia.

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Geekscape Movie Reviews: ‘Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United’

by Dennis Finocchiaro

The new Marvel CG Animation film Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United had its ups and downs, sometimes literally. The film, while interesting, had a bit of a dull plot, but it’s still worth watching for fans of the characters.

The story is simple: Hulk is kidnapped by Hydra with the help of Abomination and has his power stolen to fuel a new weapon. When the weapon fails it creates a being of pure energy, Zzzax, who then begins to steal power from the earth. Iron Man tries to stop it using his technology, and Hulk tries with brute force, but soon the pair realize the only way to defeat the new villain is to team up.

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One of my problems with the film was Hulk’s sudden ability to form fully functioning sentences. While fighting Abomination, the two have full-on intelligent conversations. Then, as he fights and later teams up with Iron Man, it’s tough to get used to his language and sentence structure. Overall, he sounds much more intelligent than the Hulk most are used to.

The plot itself was slow-moving at times. Zzzax is a boring villain as far as bad guys go. He basically is just an energy ball at first who is trying to steal all energy he can find. Eventually, he takes over a few of Stark’s suits, creating havoc, but later begins to mold himself into a human-like body. He’s a bit boring, mostly just using electric currents to attack both heroes when he wasn’t in a suit.

What I liked was the pure fun of it. Sure, Hulk is suddenly smart, and Iron Man isn’t as clever as he usually is (he leans on Jarvis a bit more than usual). The humor and one-liners kept the slow plot going a bit, especially Hulk’s random attacks on Iron Man. Also enjoyable was seeing the suit Iron Man eventually fits Hulk with.

Overall, the film was 2/5 stars. If you’re a fan of the animated films, definitely check it out, otherwise you’re probably safe to skip this one.

Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United is available now on Amazon.

Marvel’s Phase One Box Set Gets An Updated Release Date, Plus Extra Content!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Better late than never right?

EW today released some new info regarding the highly anticipated Phase One box set. The fantastic looking bundle was originally set to release back in September, but was delayed due to a lawsuit over the case design.

We now have a new release date for the 10-disc set (featuring a slightly different looking briefcase), and while it’s still months away, I can’t help but get excited. New pre-orders are set to start later today, while the set will be available on April 2nd (just 133 more days).

The set will also include additional content that would not have been there had it hit shelves on time including never before seen clips, and a Phase Two preview featuring “footage, concept art, and a few new surprises.”

I’m in. How about you?

Source: EW

First Look At Marvel Animation Studios ‘Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United’

by Shawn Madden

Marvel Animation Studios debut feature Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United, is set to be released April 23rd, 2013. The film will “team Tony Stark and Bruce Banner in a fight against the villain Zzzax, a creature formed out of pure energy who can absorb human minds.”

The film will feature a mix of hand drawn art as well as computer generated animation, similar to MTV’s Spider-Man series from a few years ago. Adrian Pasdar (Heroes) will voice Iron Man and Fred ­Tatasciore (Ultimate Spider-Man) will voice Bruce Banner/The Hulk. Zzzax will be voiced by Dee Bradley Baker, who is probably best known as the voice of Klaus on American Dad. Jeph Loeb stated:

“The challenge was to pick up the banter between the two of them. Certainly, Adrian Pasdar’s performance is inspired by what Robert Downey Jr. does, and Mark laid down such an incredible path for us to be able to follow.”

Loeb also added the following about their future plans:

“It’s our hope that we will start doing more feature-length direct to Blu-ray and DVD stories. They’ll more than likely be in team-up situations. We find it works really well when we have big exciting adventures with two or more of our heroes.”

Source: EW

Geekscape Games Review: ‘Avengers Initiative’

by Derek Kraneveldt

On Wednesday we gave you a look at Marvels latest mobile title, Avengers Initiative. The game released yesterday, and after putting a few hours into it and clearing the first campaign, I’ve got a pretty strong opinion on the title.

Note: Avengers Initiative is available for iOS as well as Android devices. The review is based on the iOS versions of the game, though the Android edition should offer a similar experience.

Intro Video

I was hooked on Avengers Initiative from the start. After a short loading screen, Nick Fury brings you up to speed with a very flashy and very sharp looking cutscene. The story is simple: a lot of baddies have escaped from the Vault, and it’s up to you to find them, fight them, and send them back where they belong.

We mentioned on Wednesday that the game takes an episodic approach (as explained in the story, simply too many villains have escaped for the team to stick together, each episode will have you playing a different hero). You buy the game for $6.99, you’ll get to play the first chapter featuring the Hulk, and subsequent episodes will be delivered free of charge. Telltale Games typically takes the same approach, and it works wonders for them (insert obligatory The Walking Dead praise here), Marvel has to be hoping for that same success.

In-Game

As you can see from our screenshots, the game looks great (especially on Apple’s retina devices). Hulk is extremely detailed, complete with a lot of polygons and some great textures. He even shows off some strong facial animations throughout the episode. This carries to other characters as well – each one looks fantastic. Sometimes it’s really hard to believe that visuals like this are being pushed from your cell phone. It sounds almost as good as it looks too, Avengers Initiative features some very strong voice acting and sound effects.

The game may look fresh, but gameplay wise, it feels more like a skin on a two year old title. Infinity Blade was released to much fanfare in 2010. The game was designed from the ground up for touchscreen devices: no virtual joysticks or buttons, just taps and swipes to control your onscreen hero. Combat has you doing the same, tapping and swiping to dodge and block your opponents advances, while you wait for an opening to strike.

Wendigo Fight

Now isn’t all bad: Infinity Blade and its sequel are fantastic, addicting titles. The developer could have done much worse when choosing a game to take inspiration from. Sadly however, some of Infinity Blade’s strongest and most addicting features are strangely absent from Avengers Initiative. 

Your Infinity Blade hero is infinitely customizable. Every piece of armor, every weapon, and there is even jewelry to give you magic abilities and stat bonuses. You find items in chests, by defeating creatures, and with credit you’ve saved from battling multitudes of enemies. It makes the game exponentially more replayable as you strive to master all of the possible equipment. Avengers Initiative sees very little of this: Hulk has a few costumes you can purchase which give you stat bonuses, but the quantity and level of customizability is nothing compared to that of Infinity Blade. I’ve finished the Avengers Initiative campaign, and I honestly can’t see myself returning until another chapter is released.

Costume Screen

Another huge oversight by developer Wideload Games is iCloud support. With games like Infinity Blade and Batman: Arkham City Lockdown, I can jump into the game on whatever device I’m currently holding and not have to worry about it: if I play Infinity Blade on my phone while on the bus, I can open it on my iPad later and be in the exact same spot. By not including this, I’d have to run separate campaigns on each device, essentially meaning I’m going to end up playing Avengers Initiative on only one of them

Avengers Initiative is a lot of fun, and the title has some great presentation (though loading screens are sometimes a bit too frequent). The gameplay that Epic Games introduced with Infinity Blade works perfectly here, I simply wish that Wideload could have introduced some of their own innovations to the formula. Hopefully with the episodic nature of the title, they will build on what the game has to offer instead of simply throwing a new character into the same situations.

As mentioned above, the title is priced well at $6.99 (though it is plagued with a ton of in-app purchases). It’s a good buy at this level, had it been priced higher however, I wouldn’t be so sure.

Avengers Initiative scores a respectable 3/5

‘Avengers Initiative’ Mobile Game Launches Tomorrow!

by Derek Kraneveldt

I’m a huge fan of mobile games. More often than not I find myself away from home with nothing but my mobile phone.

Five years ago, that was a bad situation unless you were lucky enough to have a portable console with you. Oh how things change: I can now have dozens of AAA titles in my pocket, on a device that I always have with me anyways.

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Today Marvel gave us a look at Avengers Initiative. It’s a pretty smooth looking new title that takes Telltale’s approach to gaming – the game will be episodic. You purchase the title for $6.99, and later episodes will be delivered to you free of charge.

Tomorrow, us iOS and Android owners will step into the Hulk’s shoes. From the trailer (posted below) it appears as though a lot of villains are causing a lot of havoc. Nick Fury has made it your responsibility to stop them.

At first glance, Avengers Initiative looks remarkably similar to Epic Games’ Infinity Blade. While I’m a sucker for originality, I’m also a huge fan of that title. It’s perfectly suited for a touch screen, and rather than have to use a virtual joystick and fake buttons, you swipe and tap around, which leads to a much better and more natural experience. If Avengers Initiative can offer the same quality story and addicting gameplay that the Infinity Blade series does, Epic Games’ will have some serious competition on their hands.

The graphics look great, the sound seems solid, and the gameplay is tried and true. Check out Avengers Initiative on your mobile devices tomorrow, and look for our review in the upcoming days.

 

Watch A Deleted Scene From Marvel’s ‘The Avengers’!

by Shawn Madden

Marvel’s The Avengers is coming to Blu-ray and DVD next month and Entertainment Weekly has debuted a deleted scene from the superhero epic! This scene features an extended interaction between Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner, post going Hulk mode on the helicarrier, and Harry Dean Stanton’s Security Guard. Even though Harry Dean Stanton’s cameo in the film was very quick it seems that more footage was shot but left on the cutting room floor. Check it out below.

‘Avengers 2’ Gets An Official Release Date!

by Scott Alminiana

It’s now official, Avengers 2 WILL assemble once again on May 1st, 2015. This is the date fellow writer Shawn speculated last week! Can he see the future?!

Joss Whedon will write and direct the sequel to the massive success that is The Avengers.

The sequel will be the culmination of Marvel’s ‘Phase Two’ films that begins with Iron Man 3 on May 3, 2013. That will be followed by Thor: The Dark World (November 8th, 3013), Captain America: The Winter Solider (April 4th, 2014), Guardians of The Galaxy (August 1st, 2014). Ant-Man, which still have no official start date nor a release date is also speculated to be released in 2014.

It’s a great time to be a Marvel fan! Stay tuned to Geekscape as we’ll bring you the latest updates on all the ‘Phase Two’ slate of movies as well as all your geek-related news. Excelsior!

Marvel Heroes To Be Featured On Disney’s ‘Phineas And Ferb’

by Scott Alminiana

It was only a matter of time before Disney started using Marvel characters on their shows. I’m actually amazed it took them this long. According to the Hero Complex, a slew of Marvel heroes and villians will be featured in a special episode of Disney XD’s Phineas and Ferb.

Announced at Comic-Con, “Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel” will have Spider-Man, Iron Man, Thor and Hulk drop into Danville but they’re not happy to be there — a scheme by Dr. Doofenshmirtz has robbed the mighty quartet of their powers.  The marooned heroes will have a fight on their hands with four super villains — the Red Skull, Whiplash, Venom and M.O.D.O.K. — who are working together with Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel wont hit TV until the summer of 2013 but fear not fans, here’s a teaser to hold you over.

I have a 6 year old niece so I am well-versed in the greatness that is Phineas and Ferb. Anyone who’s worried that the Marvel characters will be poorly handled needn’t worry. I fully support this move on Disney and Marvel’s part. It’s a smart move and I’m sure it’s just the first of many to come.

Geekscape Comics: Marvel Announces ‘Marvel Universe Vs The Avengers’

by Shawn Madden

In October we will return to a world ravaged by a plague that had turned most of Earth’s heroes into raving cannibalistic monsters. Jonathan Maberry is back to continue on from events that unfolded in ‘Marvel Universe vs Punisher’ and ‘Marvel Universe vs Wolverine’ in a four issue mini-series ‘Marvel Universe vs The Avengers

“The story is intensely personal, as all stories of great cultural trauma,” Maberry says. “These are horror stories, and ‘Marvel Universe vs The Avengers’ takes the horror down to a very personal level. We are no longer witnessing the world’s hurt or the cultural hurt, we’re inside the head – and heart — of a man who is experiencing the most personal kind of hurt.” The man he is referring to here is Clint Barton aka Hawkeye.

“The story is told from Hawkeye’s perspective, but most of the big guns are there: Thor, Hulk — red and green versions — Iron Man, Giant Man, Luke Cage, Black Widow, Mockingbird, Spider-Man, and others,” reveals the writer. “We also check in on the kids at Avengers Academy. The events in these four issues cut a bloody swath across the entire Avengers landscape.”

“The world is becoming a horror show and no one has the power to stop it,” Maberry explains. “Then we look down at the street-level, at a man like Hawkeye who has no super powers and who isn’t really the go-to guy for a world-threatening crisis and for reasons we’ll explore in the story, he doesn’t succumb to the plague as quickly. More and more of the responsibility for this fight falls to him, and he’s extremely mortal.”

“View that same thing from another perspective and you see someone who has never been as powerful as his teammates, and yet he’s always held the line, always done his part. So, maybe he’s the kind of hero we need in a world where super powers are no longer the answer.”

“The world itself is broken, and the storytelling reflects that,” Maberry offers. “There is no longer an orderly pace to history, and if humanity survives, the history that’s taught will come from fragments of memory and experiences.”

“I wanted to get inside the phenomenon of becoming ‘powerless.’ Many of the heroes lose their heroic status by becoming monsters; we have characters struggling to continue to be heroes while knowing that they are transforming into the enemy. The government and even groups like S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t stop this. The greatest brains on the planet—Reed Richards, Hank Pym, T’Challa—can’t solve this problem. We see how different characters cope with their friends/team-mates and loved ones becoming monsters.”

But in the end it’s all coming down to one man. The man with the arrows.

“That is a special kind of horror, and it’s a special kind of heroic tale,” Maberry promises. “I think people are going to bond pretty heavily with Hawkeye in this tale.”

Source: Marvel

A ‘Directors Cut’ Of ‘The Avengers’ Being Released Into Theaters This Summer?

by Shawn Madden

Rumor warning! This is not confirmed.

SuperHeroAuthority is reporting that we may just see the 35 minute longer ‘Directors Cut’ being released into theaters this summer in an attempt to knock ‘Titanic’ and ‘Avatar’ off the top of the hill.

“The Avengers is sitting comfortably at No. 3 overall on both the domestic and International ticket sale charts but it seems both Marvel and Disney desire the No. 1 overall spot and a current rumor says they could be contemplating releasing The Avengers: Director’s Cut in theaters at the end of this summer.”

Please remember this is from a ComicBook.com post and another Hollywood source who has heard this rumor and told SuperHero Authority this is a possibility but nothing has been confirmed to actually happen. Marvel and Disney have not said anything regarding this new rumor as well.”

So, while this is a major rumor…I would definitely not rule it out as a possibility. Especially because of the fact that most of us have seen this movie at least 2-3 times already. Would we most likely assemble again with that additional 35 minutes of footage? Definitely.

And what comic fan wouldn’t love to see ‘The Avengers’ hit number one?

‘The Avengers’ Becomes Third Highest Grossing Film Of All-time

by Shawn Madden

Let’s be honest. We knew it was going to do good. But this good? As of today Marvels ‘The Avengers’ has become the third highest gross film domestically (knocking down ‘The Dark Knight’) and worldwide with a massive $1.331 billion taking the third place spot from ‘Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows Part 2’.

The film has been smashing records ever since its massive release and doesn’t look like its done yet. Many people are wondering if it has what it takes to knock ‘Titanic’ off that second place spot. With a theatrical run that doesn’t look to be ending anytime soon and one more country to still be released in (‘The Avengers’ opens in Japan in August) it very well could. I know I plan on assembling again at least once.

Source: Box Office Mojo

Geekscape Comics: Sam Humphries Talks ULTIMATES: Divided We Fall

by Shawn Madden

One thing that can be said about Marvels Ultimate line is that well… anything goes. And if you’ve been reading ULTIMATES… you’ll know what I’m talking about. Starting July in ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #13 is Divided We Fall… a story stretching across all three Ultimate books. This story began in ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #10 which was the first issue that saw co-writer Sam Humphries and artist Luke Ross joining Jonathan Hickman. This issue had former Fantastic Four leader Reed Richards eradicating Washington D.C. decimating the U.S. government to the point where the off-site Secretary of Energy became next in line for the presidency.

“That’s something you can’t get away with in the mainline Marvel books, or in the movies, the cartoon shows, the video games—any place where they tell stories about Marvel characters,” says Humphries of the incnident. “I’ve always looked at the Ultimate Universe as a place that is fundamentally different. Characters are bigger, stakes are higher, and fate is more extreme. Day to day life has sharper edges.”

“It’s like the Earth’s axis is tipped one inch further to the left—you’d never be able to measure it, but everything about living on the planet would be irreversibly affected.”

ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #11 hits shelves next Wednesday May 30th and we will see S.H.I.E.L.D under new leadership with their top operatives on the run as fugitives.

“The previous president removed Nick Fury and put a new guy in his place,” Humphries recounts. “Then an attack on Washington vaporized most of the United States government. The world security agency doesn’t know which way is up anymore. They’ve got an identity crisis, and to paraphrase Marshal McLuhan, the less identity we have, the more violence we see.

“[But] Nick Fury is always in control. Even when you rip S.H.I.E.L.D. away from him and put him on the run, he’s still the man with the plan.”

And while this is all going on the other Ultimates will have their own issues to face. The worst off of them all being Tony Stark. Tony has discovered his dormant brain tumor has returned and with comes growing hallucinations.

ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #12 will be hitting shelves June 27th and with it we will see Hickman take his final bow. Humphries will take over the title full time… but will definitely not be ignoring the path Hickman has set the book on.

“Jonathan’s been crushing it on ULTIMATES with some huge developments,” he says. “I’d be a fool not to work from what he’s set up—it’s a world rife with potential and big moments. At the same time, Hickman has maintained from our very first conversation that it’s imperative for me to write what I’m interested in writing instead of trying to ape or continuing someone else’s work. What you’re reading now is a true blend of two perspectives on the Ultimates.”

And finally as stated above… starting in July… Divided We Fall.

“The thing about Divided We Fall is that the books are interconnected, but not interwoven,” Humphries explains. “All the books are experiencing the same chaos, but each book gives you a different point of view. What Miles Morales sees isn’t what Thor sees isn’t what Rogue sees. So each book tells the same larger story, but they can be read independently of each other.”

I can say that i’ve definitely been reading all of the Ultimate books and right now they’re great and this is definitely looking like something that I will be looking forward to.

ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #10 is on stands now. Get it. Read it.

Source: Marvel

 

Brave Nerd World: Outer Space…(but really The Avengers)

by Stephen Prescott

SPOILERS! Heidi and Stephen set out this week with a great topic in hand, Outer Space, and a “Favorite Moment In…” to feature The Avengers. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, neither host could come up with just one moment in The Avengers that they loved the most. So they babbled on for most of the episode about how great the film was and what it means as a comic book film. Some of the concerns and criticisms brought up by Jonathan in the Geekscape Avengers episode are also addressed because Stephen only likes arguing with Jonathan when Jonathan can’t answer back.

They did however get around to talking a bit about outer space. Topics covered were “The Moon Treaty,” “The Outer Space Treaty,” and the recently brought to the media’s attention “Build the Enterprise” project.

Moon Treaty on Wikipedia

Outer Space Treaty on Wikipedia

Build the Enterprise.org

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:05:17 — 29.9MB)

ABC Still Developing a “Hulk” TV Show! Passes On “AKA Jessica Jones”!

by Jonathan

Even after his cinematic rejuvenation in The Avengers, the Hulk might still “smash” on TV!

In a press call this morning, ABC’s Paul Lee revealed that ABC and Marvel are still moving forward on a Hulk TV show, while they have passed on “AKA Jessica Jones”, based on the Brian Michael Bendis’ Alias book.

In an article posted on Deadline about ABC’s slate announcement, the following blurb reveals ABC’s plans for the series:

The only property from Disney-owned Marvel still in active development at ABC is Hulk, which was set up one and half years ago with Guillermo Del Toro and David Eick attached. Lee said the project will be in consideration for the next pilot cycle. I hear Del Toro is still on board. ABC has passed on the Aka Jessica Jones adaptation whose writer, Twilight‘s Melissa Rosenberg, has a new series on ABC, Red Widow.

So sorry, Jessica Jones. We’ll have to wait a little longer to see you on a TV or film screen. And it’ll be at least another year for Hulk. Now how much longer will we have to wait to see “some Luke Cage up in this bitch!?!” (which is how Tyrese would play him if he got the chance).

Uncanny Assembly: Geekscape Reviews Avengers vs. X Men #2

by Joe Starr

We’re back with Avengers vs. X Men: Round 2! If you missed my review of #1, it’s right here. Before you get caught up, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter so you can tell me I’m a dick for my opinions at @joestarr187. All caught up? Let’s do this.

Things pick up right where they left off: with a helicarrier full of Avengers decloaking over Utopia with jets scrambling and Colossus being hurled at it. He crashes through, and like Spider Man says, Avengers vs. X Men is actually happening.

Red Hulk pairs off with Cojuggerlossusnaught and Namor punches the holy hell out of Thing with Luke Cage on the ring apron ready to tag in and bring the Sweet Christmas to the Prince of Atlantis. I love the Hulk. Hulk dialogue will never surprise you, especially if it starts with ‘So you’re the strongest on <insert place here>?’ You know he’s going to say that he’s the strongest there is. But no matter what color he is, when he says it, it’s always awesome.

Captain America brings a wave of Avengers to the shore and gives the command for his hastily drawn comrades to take the beach. Cyclops, complete with a Cap shield dent in his visor, gives the order for the X Men to charge and the fight is on!

Not that it’s much of a fight. Seriously, Cyclops has Psylocke and some New Mutants and Dr. Nemesis charging into Wolverine, Iron Fist, Spider Man, Captain America, and a Giant Man. Not sure if it’s Pym or Stature’s dad. Remember the cartoon Samurai Pizza Cats? There was a comic relief B team called The Rescue Squad and that’s what Scott Summers has on the beach plus Psylocke. We can pretty much call the fight here, but this is a $3.99 comic, so we’ve got some pages to fill.

It’s time for the New Mutants to hang it up.

But things get better for the X Men because SURGE GETS A LINE! She says “why was I left off of a main roster but Vampire Jubilee is still around?” Actually, she only says “what the hell are they even doing here?” but she says it awesomely. She’s hanging out in a room with a giant window right next to the action with Pixie (Utopia’s Wesley Crusher) and some Lights watching the fight. Through a big window next to the battle. It’s the perfect place for Emma to stow Hope: an easily found room full of people Hope could easily incapacitate if she wanted to. I’m starting to think Cyclops got the short end of the schism stick as far as rosters go because the talent on this island is thin. Steve Rogers is just going to hang out in the ring and start jack knifing people while referees make three counts on guys he’s not even pinning.

“Did someone just reference me? I’m available for bookings! I played Super Shredder!”

This logic jump is forgiven, as we move into a cool Emma Frost vs. Iron Man and then Iron Man vs. Magneto sequence. And then we cut to Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch hanging out in their bonus room watching the fight on television. Did you call it a bonus room or a den? I think it’s only a den if your dad is the primary occupant. Dad=den, kids=playroom and mom=kitchen. AMIRIGHT?

Apparently there’s crazy fighting going on, but it’s not so crazy that CNN helicopters are about 100 feet from a Magneto fight filming it. I always love seeing super heroes lounging in their house. It’s important to note that Quicksilver is business casual when he watches television, but Scarlet Witch has yet to buy new clothes since she resurfaced, so she’s been catching up on Breaking Bad in full costume. Pietro decides it’s time to punch his dad in the face, and does so. Scarlet Witch stays home and writes in her dream journal. We know it’s a dream journal because it’s opened to the middle of the book and it says ‘Wanda’s Dream Journal’ at the top. The first half of the book is all Quicksilver/Scarlet Witch fanfiction written by Quicksilver. And it gets pretty gross.

Meanwhile, the mutants are pissed at Wolverine because his X Men book is the best one, and Storm and Black Panther are super pissed at each other because remember that they’re married? This had better end with her and Panther making a decision together and not them splitting apart, since they got married and then he started being Daredevil right away and so far their marriage has been stupid.

Hope watches the fight from closer than the CNN helicopters and of course she’s gonna get out because she’s being guarded by Pixie and a blue chick I don’t know the name of.

Cyclops gets his ass handed to him by Captain America, but manages to get a shot off at Wolverine. Props to Aaron- he manages to show more Schism between Scott and “the crazy fringe” Logan in one panel than all of Schism did in like 6 books.

And seriously, Cyclops just did a total job to Steve Rogers. It was rough.

Magik traps Dr. Strange in hell and takes magic out of the fight. She’s back to having goat legs, which is pretty cool if you like goat legs. She’s got a demon army with her, which is a good indicator of where Scott Summers’ head it right now. Spoiler alert: It’s in a place where goat legs and demon armies are an ok thing.

Danger warns Cyclops that Stark is shutting down their island defenses. I haven’t seen any island defenses yet so I’m not sure that this is something anyone should be worried about. When I think ‘island defenses’ I think of that sequence in Transformers: The Movie when Autobot City turns into nothing but guns. So far, Utopia’s defenses have been Hepzibah in a sports bra, and Dr. Nemesis, who always makes me think of Dr. McNinja.

Please join the X Club.

Wolverine and Spider Man sneak into a drainpipe like Slaughter and the Renegades breaking into the Terrordrome. They find Hope and she Phoenixes them. And then I think she burns Wolverine alive? So he’s dead. LOLj/k.

And then, in a gag out of Three’s Company, the Avengers burst through one door and the X Men burst through another and they all go ‘where’s Hope?!’ And of course Hope has bailed. And then the X Men and Avengers are trapped together in a small space and forced to work out their differences.

Meanwhile, in deep space, the rest of the Avengers are about to get fucked up by a giant cosmic firebird. I bet Ms. Marvel gets aced. They don’t have anything planned for her, right?

In my last review I ripped Romita’s art pretty severely and it continues to be a problem. I’m not going to beat a dead horse but there are panels where Iron Fist looks like a circle with a smiley face and that just sucks.

But Aaron is shining: I’m excited to see The Best Writer of All Time writing Avengers. The fight scenes are well staged- when Namor comes at Thing there’s a sense of history between the two and not just ‘this will sell comics!’ Likewise when Summers keeps focusing on Wolverine and airs his ‘we’re fucking step children to the Avengers’ grievances. This moment of aggression was earned by Marvel. It didn’t need Nitro blowing up kids. It may not have even needed Phoenix: Everyone is sick of everything. X Men are sick of being second thought garbage. Avengers are sick of world killing events. The X Men might cause one. So now the Avengers are sick of them. It’s been organic and well done, and you can read the reasons behind every punch.

ELSEWHERE… I also picked up Jason Aaron’s Wolverine and the X Men AvX tie in, and I suggest you pick it up. It’s fantastic and it also made me realize that the Jean Grey School is basically a school for mutants run by Avengers, which is kind of awesome. It’s also full of Gladiator and Kid Gladiator, and Chris Bachalo took more than 20 minutes to draw it.

NEXT ISSUE… Phoenix burns the world to ashes and civilization has to be restarted by Surge and Kid Gladiator! Excelsior!

Avengers vs. X Men: The Matches We Really Want To See

by Joe Starr

I know that you’ve read a ton of other articles about fights people want to see in Avengers vs. X Men. And I know that you’ve been bored by them. Captain America and Cyclops? Meh. Rogue vs. Iron Man? Pfft. Red Hulk vs. Armor and Surge…? Acceptable. With fights that bland, I can’t believe Marvel hasn’t been purchased by Dreamwave yet.

There are a lot of battles I’m dreaming of that Marvel just doesn’t have the courage to give us. So here, in no particular order, are most of them.

 Decade Late Battle of the Decade: 

Gambit vs. 90’s Thor

Remy Lebeau: The poster child of 90’s Marvel. He’s still wearing that damn coat and that black and purply armor/jumpsuit thing and he’s still throwing cards. He couldn’t be anymore 90’s if he was throwing Wildstorm cards.

But the Son of Odin shant let the X Men own the 90’S! It’s time for Thor to pay his storage unit a visit and fish out the STRAPS! CHAINS! BELLY SHIRT! SHOULDER PADS! Whoever wields this dick armor, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!

Projected winner: Gambit is shattered into a pile of Phalanx Covenant hologram covers when he tries to hit Thor in the junk with his staff.

By the Order of Agent Henry Peter Gyrich:

Token Black Guy Battle Royale

Storm. Black Panther. Bishop. Falcon. That smart kid from New X Men that lost his powers. Patriot. Black Widow. Black Knight. Black Tom Cassidy. Throughout the years, a respectable handful of black superheroes have either protected a world that hated and feared them or served as one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

But heads up, true believers: after AvX every spot for an African American hero is being taken up by a different Spider-Man costume variation, and according to Gyrich, the Avengers and X Men will share one only black person between the two teams.

Projected winner: Krystalin from X Men 2099 wins the spot. Black Panther stops hanging out in New York all the time and remembers to run that country that he’s the king of.

The Real McCoy:

X Men Beast vs. Avengers Beast

One 3.99 22 page comic of Hank McCoy sitting in his room making a pros and cons list about which team he should fight alongside. WRITTEN BY GRANT MORRISON.

Projected Winner: Whichever one makes him not look like a cat anymore.

Kid Gladiator vs. Everyone

I mainly just want to see Kid Gladiator beat the hell out of that dinosaur kid from Avengers Academy like a super strong Verne Gagne. Did you guys know that Kid Gladiator is the future of comics? Because he is.

Projected Winner: Kid Gladiator beats up the whole crossover, jumps to the New 52, and takes care of them, too. Broo helps.

The Chuck Austen Memorial Cage Match: 

Lionheart vs. Nurse Annie

If Lionheart wins, she gets to see her kids which she couldn’t do for some reason! If Annie wins, she…I guess she bangs Havok? And her son watches? Chuck Austen was weird.

Projected Winner: Chuck Austen, for me reminding everyone he existed for a paragraph.

Andy Kaufman InterGender

Championship Match: 

Hank Pym vs. Emma Frost

I just want to see Hank try and give Emma the Pym-Hand. She used to be a stripper. They know how to deal with dudes like that.

Projected winner: Emma Frost makes Pym sit on his hands by force.

The ‘I Know Now Why You Cry But It Is Something I Can Never Do’ Invitational Robot Fight: 

Vision vs. Danger

Maybe it’s because I was just writing about old Chuck Austen runs, but I hope Scarlet Witch falls in love with Danger.

Projected Winner: Vision is in control until Hugh Jackman figures out how to make Danger mimic his shadow boxing moves.

Avengers: Disassembled

vs. X Men: Disassembled

Bendis is leaving Avengers. We know this to be true. And we all know by now that his roadmap to a franchise’s success looks something like this:

1. Disassemble
2. Red Ninjas
3. Profit
4. Red Ninjas

Don’t think it’s not coming, X fans. Sure, they just schismed, but right after we had a Civil War we were Secretly Invaded, and then we faced Fear Itself like two days later. Somewhere in there, Spider-Man big-timed. X Men: Disassembled is coming for us and the mutants are going to have to prove that they can disassemble better than the Avengers.

This will be an uphill battle for the X Men. For one thing, they don’t assemble so I think they’ll have to call it X Men: Disuncannied. I hope Bendis just makes X Men: Disuncannied Pixie’s fault so we can get rid of her.

Projected Winner: Bendis gets five more years of glory when The Hood relocates The Hand to San Francisco.

Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax

Not even fighting anyone. I just want them around more.

Projected Winner: Everyone that buys The Adventures of Kid Gladiator Featuring Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax #1, the MAJOR new ongoing series spinning out of the pages of AvX written by Dan Slott and Jason Aaron with art by Stuart Immonen!  Special back up story: BROO MEETS PRESIDENT OBAMA!

Joe Starr is the host of GEEKSCAPE PRESENTS, our monthly free live comedy show. The next one is April 3 and you can learn all about it HERE.

Wondercon 2012: The Marvel Animation Panel!

by Joe Starr

This year at Wondercon’s Marvel TV Panel, Jeph Loeb brought the goods.

Among the announcements, the Marvel Universe block will debut on Disney XD on Sunday, April 1st.

The block will kick off with the premiere of Ultimate Spider-Man and the season 2 premiere of Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, as well as a number of different extras, including Joe Q art classes, Fury Files on different Marvel characters, and Marvel Mash Up Shorts.

Marvel Mash Up shorts are re-dubbed clips of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends written by the creators of Harvey Birdman and Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. Several were shown, and were very funny. The highlight had to be Red Skull arguing with his henchmen about who broke their new flat-screen television.

Eventually, the Marvel Universe Block will expand with the help of the newly announced Marvel Animation Studio, headed by Eric Radomski (Batman: The Animated Series, Spawn).

Currently in development at M.A.S. (or ‘mas marvel’ as Loeb called it) is the action epic Hulk and the Agents of SMASH. Test animation featured Hulk, She Hulk, Rulk, Skaar, and a Hulky Rick Jones code named A-Bomb fighting massive tanks spliced with ‘talking heads’ type footage from each character.

Panel attendees were treated with a screening of the Ultimate Spider-Man trailer, written by Paul Dini (Batman: The Animated Series). The pilot revolves around Spider-Man weighing an offer to receive SHIELD training from Nick Fury with plenty of plotting by Norman Osbourne, who wants Spider-Man’s DNA to sell spider soldiers to the military.

The show moved quickly, and told Spidey’s origins in flashbacks as the information was required. It contained plenty of “cut-to humor” and voice over, feeling like a mix of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Avatar: The Last Airbender with Marvel characters. JK Simmons voices J. Jonah, and Clark Greg will be playing Agent Coulsen. Stan Lee rounds out the supporting cast as Stan the Janitor.

After the pilot, Loeb wasn’t done. We also got a Season 2 sizzle reel of Earth’s Mightiest Avengers, as well as the Season 2 premiere! I won’t spoil anything here, but here are some keywords: Kang! Kree! Skrull! Baxter Buildings! Poker games! DOOM!

The status quo has long been that DC rules animation while Marvel owns the big screen, but with guys like Paul Dini at the wheel, and from what we saw at the panel, Marvel looks to be stepping up their game in a big way.