Uncanny Assembling: Geekscape Reviews Avengers vs. X Men #0-1

So, this review is late but there’s a decent reason: I wasn’t planning on picking this series up. I hate the term ‘event fatigue,’ but about halfway through ‘Fear Itself’ the beast reared its ugly head and I stopped about halfway through.

It wasn’t so much that I was tired of limited series books or empty promises of big changes. These complaints get tossed around a lot, and they aren’t always completely fair. Marvel has done a decent job giving lasting impact after each event- House of M completely redefined the X-verse, but on the other hand, Secret Invasion sacrificed the Age of Normpocalypse by rushing it into Siege.

What took me out of Fear Itself was the throwaway impact on the world that these superheroes live in. Fear Itself was about breaking the world in half. Panels featured bodies piled building high and reports of autism rates tripling and dogs and cats living together and in the end they were all throwaway moments. Are we ever going to see any of that pay off outside of a ‘Battle Scars’ mini that most folks won’t read? Which books are going to deal with the fact that the world just got blitzed by Norse powered Exo Suit Nazis? I mean really deal with it, not just devote a panel to Jarvis saying “My word, those Exo Suit Nazis certainly were a pain, right Ms. Danvers?” and dusting his shoulders off. It’s almost like Fear Itself had ‘event fatigue’ and was becoming a parody of event books- “Paris just exploded. Eh, who cares. Here comes a panel of action that suggests you buy some issue of Iron Man.” More on compressed storytelling like that later.

And now I’m rambling. MOVING FORWARD. Someone convinced me that AvX would be about two teams fighting for a specific goal and that autism rates skyrocketing would have nothing to do with it. Also, I love a good Frank Cho.

So let’s bust through this. Issue 0 is purely set up. Cyclops is training Hope and she wants to know why everyone keeps mouthing the words ‘giant firebird’ and then making explosion noises while gesturing at her when she walks into rooms. Cyclops doesn’t want her to know because she just isn’t ready. And you’d think she’s ready, because she’s clearly 23. Wait, what? She’s how old? Jesus, Frank.

Meanwhile, it’s the Scarlet Witch! I started reading Avengers right when she was going insane and killing them, so Scarlet Witch the hex bolting super hero is new for me. Ms. Marvel is stoked to see her but the Vision is not thrilled. Can we recolor this guy? He just looks silly. I actually laughed at his big green robot tears.
So that’s where we are at the end of #0. Scarlet Witch is back but now she’s gone. Hope is being trained. And here comes Phoenix!

ISSUE #1! I love the opening, with the father and son on their farm and then their planet gets blown to shit by the Phoenix. Quick and brutal. The Avengers then have a terrible time catching a crashing plane and a jet engine. It takes almost 6 pages and makes you wonder how they survived all of those Nazi Gundams. A building gets broken and pieces and people fall and those people that hate Mad Men because of 9-11 probably got furious. The plane got busted up because Nova crashed through it. He warns the Avengers that ‘it’s coming’ and then passes out. There’s a weird conversation between Iron Man and Protector that comes off like a bad improv scene. It’s the only Bendis strike in the whole book.

You wondering what Cyclops and Hope are doing right now? Yeah. Training. I bet Hope is wishing she had left for the Jean Grey Academy. Maybe she’d be having some laughs and making out with Kid Gladiator, AKA THE FUTURE OF MARVEL COMICS. It’s a cool sequence with Cyclops REALLY pushing the kid. She gets all firebirdy and lashes out. She is not comfortable with it. Let me mention here that Bendis writes the hell out of Cyclops. I love the tension in Cyclops in this first issue. This guy is at breaking point, and after everything he’s been through, I don’t blame him.

The Avengers pick up the Phoenix energy signature. They mention that they’ve been scanning for Phoenix ever since the Jean Grey Incident. I’m not sure which incident they’re referring to and why they didn’t show up any time Rachel Summers is on the planet earth or during Endsong (the answer is that they didn’t want Greg Land drawing them.) Personally, if I was an Avenger I’d be more worried about Scarlet Witch scanning, since she’s the reason everyone has been following Luke Cage around to fight ninjas for the past 10 years. Remember when she showed up at your front door the other day and everyone but the crying robot was like ‘come on in! we’re watching ‘Duck Dynasty!’

Not that I blame them.

Captain America checks in with Wolverine. This is a cool conversation. Wolverine’s got some deep seeded conflict in this thing, and it’s not just about WHICH SIDE HE’LL CHOOSE. He’s loved Jean ever since the X Men Animated Series said that he did and he’s not quite sure how to deal with this. I know that Wolverine sells books, but I wouldn’t mind seeing this battle being the final straw of him pulling out of both teams and going ronin for a bit in something Jason Aaron writes and Phil Noto draws.

On X Men Island, Cyclops is having a meeting about Hope with his trusted advisors: Magneto, Emma Frost, Namor, and…Colossus. Maybe Colossus just showed up and no one could really make him leave. Would you even try? He’s entered the ‘bald Kurt Angle is going to murder you’ phase of his super hero career. They have a big argument about Hope.

And then Captain America arrives, demanding to take Hope into custody. Down by some rocks on the shore. The drawbridge must have been up. Cyclops and Captain America have a very tense dick waving contest with each other. Cyclops optic blasts the guy and the Avengers get Assembled by decloaking above Utopia. A good cliffhanger moment that could have been great, except…

I hate the art. Even at his best, I don’t like Romita’s style on a mega power super hero book like The Avengers. He’s a gritty Kick Ass and Daredevil kind of guy. I don’t think he works on a book like this. On top of that, it seems like he slept walked through this book. There are some panels in AvX #1 that I’m shocked no one handed back to Romita like Lumberg in Office Space going ‘yeeeeah…you’re gonna have to come in on Sunday.’ There were drawings in this 3.99 ‘event of the decade’ book that belonged on a children’s menu/activity page at a Denny’s. Though I didn’t like Fear Itself, it was a gorgeous book. It was Stuart Immomen at his best. Give him that AvX spot. Hell, beg Joe Mad to do it. But Romita’s drawing like he’s ready to hang it up. Pair him with Chris Claremont on a ‘Forever’ book and call it a day.

Can you find where John Romita Jr. stopped caring?

Overall, Bendis’ writing saves Romita’s art. Are they cycling through different creative teams on this thing? I hope so, because I really can’t look at Romita’s Spider Woman anymore. Despite enjoying the writing, with a separate ‘vs.’ book coming out, I can’t help but think that AvX is just going to be random panels that link to other books you have to buy to get any fleshed out story, like Fear Itself was. Fingers crossed that I’m wrong, and that Bendis delivers an equally strong issue #2.