Tag: dan slott

Geekscape Comics: Best Bets for 9/21/16

by Karson

Best Bet

404509-_sx1280_ql80_ttd_

Seven to Eternity #1
$3.99
Writer: Rick Remender
Artists: Jerome Opeña, Matt Hollingsworth

The God of Whispers has spread an omnipresent paranoia to every corner of the kingdom of Zhal; his spies hide in every hall spreading mistrust and fear. Adam Osidis, a dying knight from a disgraced house, must choose between joining a hopeless band of magic users in their desperate bid to free their world of the evil God, or accepting his promise to give Adam everything his heart desires. Writer RICK REMENDER reteams with collaborators JEROME OPEÑA (Uncanny X-Force, Fear Agent) and MATT HOLLINGSWORTH (TOKYO GHOST, WYTCHES) to take you on a hard road through the strange fantasy world of Zhal. All men have surrendered their freedom for fear. Now, one last free man must choose.

When Rick Remender and Jerome Opeña work together, only one thing can happen; the creation of awesome stories! Love the concept, love the creative team, this book is going to push the boundaries of what I expect to see in a comic book.

Most Excited For

406405-_sx1280_ql80_ttd_

Amazing Spider-Man #18
$3.99
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Giuseppe Camuncoli

BEFORE “DEAD NO MORE” marches you closer to the Spider-Event of 2016…THE MOMENT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR HAS COME! Doc Ock has been trapped in the body of The Living Brain since the first issue, but now it’s time for him to act!

FINALLY! Doc Ock is coming back! We saw a bit of a lull in the early teen issues of Amazing Spider-Man but now it’s full steam ahead as we rapidly approach this fall’s big Dead No More event. I’ve been saying it for awhile now, issue #16 is a great jumping on point for this series. Jump on it, you can be sure you’ll want to be reading it this fall.

Honourable Mentions

DC’s first crossover event begins this week. “Night of the Monster Men” will span across Batman #7, Nightwing #5, and Detective Comics #941. All three of these books have been stellar on their own so I imagine the crossover is going to be great. There have been some unexpected twists in the other Bat books so I think it’s safe to expected the unexpected with this event.

Geekscape Comics: Weekly Reads!

by Karson

Last week was quiet for releases, so I’ll keep this brief, that way there are no excuses for not reading the massive amount of exciting titles coming our way this week.

👎 – Skip, read at your own risk
👌 – Okay, not great, not bad, you might find something to like here
💪 – Great, highly recommended

Marvel

amazing-spider-man-2015-017-000

💪 Amazing Spider-Man #17

Slott is firing on all cylinders! This was the title I looked forward to the most this week and it didn’t disappoint! The issue had zero Spider-Man as the focus was placed squarely on Hobie Brown, the Prowler and Spider-Man decoy. The chess pieces are being put in place for what Spider-Man will face this fall. Jackal’s crew is growing and it looks like we are going to take a break from that and start to see Doctor Octopus’ return the next few issues. Start reading this series guys, it’s going to be good!

spider-man-2016-007-000

👎 Spider-Man #7

I’ve been hot and cold on this series, and to a certain extent Miles Morales as a character, since his introduction to the Marvel Universe. A few issues into this series I thought it was going to start delivering what I was hoping for, basically focusing on balancing Miles’ personal life with being Spider-Man. However, thanks to Civil War 2, we have strayed from that the past couple of issues. Instead we get to watch Miles debate whether or not he should support Tony or not. On a separate note, the art in this book is great!

DC

suicide-squad-special-war-crimes-001-000

👌 Suicide Squad Special – War Crimes #1

A title that had quite a bit of hype due to it’s writer, essentially the creator of the modern-day Suicide Squad, John Ostrander. I’m beginning to feel that this franchise isn’t for me. Ostrander delivers a tight plot with plenty of action and there isn’t much to critique there, it just isn’t what I want from the story. I’d prefer to see a focus on each member of Suicide Squad that makes us relate to them and cheer for them to earn their freedom. Think how the Marvel Netflix series’ make you connect and empathize with their villains (Kingpin, Purple Man). If your a fan of the Suicide Squad this is the best version of it to come out in recent months, just don’t expect it to reinvent the wheel in any way.

Geekscape Comics: Best Bets for 8/31/16

by Karson

Best Bet

Nothing I feel comfortable labeling as a best bet this week.

Most Excited For

382588._SX1280_QL80_TTD_

Amazing Spider-Man #17

BEFORE “DEAD NO MORE”! The Prowler (and our readers) meet the new Electro! Who is this woman and what does she have to do with the Man in Red?!

It might be called Before Dead No More, but it feels like Dead No More is well underway. This series has been picking up steam the last few issues and I imagine #17 is going to continue to gather momentum rolling into Dead No More. Issue #16 is a great jumping on point for this series that I feel will be some of the best reading of the latter half of the year.

Honorable Mentions

Silver Surfer #6

If you’re looking for a Marvel book that stands on it’s own (outside of Civil War II) look no further than Slott and Allred’s Silver Surfer. This is the series’ 200th issue and there are bound to be some zany twists! Slott’s love of Doctor Who bleeds through onto the pages of this series and Allred’s art is on another level. This is probably worthy of being a best bet but I’m behind on the series so I couldn’t pull the trigger.

Geekscape Comics: Weekend Reads!

by Karson

Welcome to Weekend Reads! It’s your little, weekly dose of comic book goodness that focuses on some aspect of my weekend reading!

I didn’t get a lot of reading done this weekend because I was in a curling bonspiel. That’s right, I curl, how awesome is that! No, we didn’t win. What? You don’t really care? Ok, ok, let’s discuss the c-word you were expecting.

The reads:

Power Man and Iron Fist no. 1 by David Walker and Sanford Greene
Amazing_Spider-Man_Vol_4_8
Amazing Spider-Man no. 8 by Dan Slott and Matteo Buffagni

Power Man and Iron Fist is fricken fantastic! I’ll note right now, I haven’t read any of the runs from the late seventies/early eighties, but I think there is something here, for fans both old and new. If the first issue is any indication of things to come, we’re going to have a ton of fun coming our way. I love the comedic interactions between Luke and Danny sprinkled throughout the book. Greene’s art is great; perfectly blending cartoonishness and realism. It really shines during the fight scenes. This book doesn’t make you think too much; it’s just fun from start to finish. GET READING POWER MAN AND IRON FIRST! Plus, you can look totally cool when Luke Cage and the Iron Fist series come out on Netflix!

Now, I don’t have much to say about the current state of Amazing Spider-Man. It’s pretty boring and unrelatable. I take back what I said a couple of weeks ago about the potential to explore the interesting aspects of Mister Negatives’ character because his arc ends in anticlimactic fashion. I don’t want to discredit the creative team too much because I don’t think it’s their fault (in fact, Buffagni’s art is one of the books’ only redeeming characteristics). The character and series just feel stale right now. Hopefully returning state-side (this arc has taken place in Shanghai, China) will fix things but I remain sceptical.

Are you reading Power Man and Iron First? I’d love to hear from you.

Geekscape Comics: Weekend Reads!

by Karson

Welcome to the first edition of Weekend Reads! It’s your little, weekly dose of comic book goodness that focuses on some aspect of my weekend reading!

This weekend I longed for the Spider-Man of years past.

The reads:

Amazing Spider-Man no. 7 by Dan Slott and Matteo Buffagni
Spider-Man no. 1 by Brian Michael Bendis and Sara Pichelli

These books are both full of potential right now. Slott is setting up to explore some potentially Jessica Jones/The Purple Man-esque themes with Mr. Negative, who can take control of essentially anyone that he wants. Bendis, on the other hand, seems to be writing a book that is going focus on Miles Morales’ internal battles (i.e. struggling to balance his personal life and his life as Spider-Man). The art of both books is top notch. There isn’t much that I find wrong with either book, but I’m struggling to connect with them.

I appreciate the direction Marvel is taking with Spider-Man, but I can’t help but long for a Peter Parker more like the one originally conceived by Lee and Ditko. Peter was a character who could never get out of his own way. Even when he won, he’d lose; many of his victories as Spider-Man came at the cost of extreme personal loss. His struggle to fit in, to balance his priorities and endless battles not to feel like a giant screw-up made him more relatable than any other super-hero in comics. Sure, he could spin webs, had spider strength, etc. but I think back on the character I obsessed over growing up and recall more of his personal struggles and losses than his supervillain battles. I’ve come to the realization that I didn’t fall in love with the character of Spider-Man, I fell in love with Peter Parker.

Peter Parker, now the CEO of a multi-international corporation, is a much less relatable character. He no longer solves his problems with his small science experiments; he relies on his company. His financial struggles have become minimal. He has little time for a relationship because he is focused on Spider-Man and running his business. The character who any reader could once relate to has become one with who very few can empathise.

As I mentioned before, it looks like Bendis is going to explore many of those original Peter Parker themes I loved with Miles Morales but it just isn’t the same when it isn’t Peter. There is potential for many fans to fall in love with Miles (many already have) but I just can’t imagine I ever will. I’ll keep trying, but I don’t believe Miles will ever be able to replace Peter Parker.

Peter Parker? Miles Morales? Could care less? What are YOUR thoughts on the state of Spider-Man in the all new, all different, Marvel universe? Tweet us or tell me directly that I’m a big baby!

Geekscape Comics: Peter Parker To Return This April!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Briefly: We knew that it wouldn’t last forever, but it’s ending sooner than I’d hoped. Dan Slott’s excellent Superior Spider-Man is set to end this March, and an all-new The Amazing Spider-Man will launch in April.

Just as most others seemed to be, I was skeptical when Superior was first announced, but quickly fell in love with the vastly different series. Now, just when Superior Spider-Man is at its best, its set to end all too soon. The numerous changes to Peter’s life, however, will not be ending with it, as Slott told Yahoo today, “Everyone’s expecting that it’s going to be a nightmare, a landscape of broken friends and crushed dreams, but there’s another side to it, too. When Peter went out, Doc Ock crashed course through college and got him a doctorate, got him a girlfriend and got him his own company.”

He even made a child cry, stating that “To do that for a solid year of my life, that’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do — to look small children in the eye at a convention and lie to them. One of them with an honest-to-God Little League uniform and a quivering lip. Inside, part of me was dying.”

In any case, as a long-time reader, I’m excited to see what happens next. Take a look at the cover art for the first issue below, and let us know what your thoughts are on Superior Spider-Man, and the fact that it’s ending!

AmazingSpiderMan

Source: New York Daily News

Geekscape Comics: The Superior Spider-Man Is Going To Party Like It’s 2099 This September

by Shawn Madden

Remember when Dan Slott tricked fans into believing that The Superior Spider-Man was actually going to be the fan-favorite Miguel O’Hara aka Spider-Man 2099? The writer later revealed that he did actually have plans for the character and at C2E2, Marvel unveiled a couple of covers for Superior Spider-Man, one revealing the return of Spider-Man 2099.

The character will be making his return to the Marvel Universe in Superior Spider-Man #17, where he will be teaming up with Spidey, from Dan Slott and Ryan Stegman this September. Time to party like it’s 2099.

SuperiorSpiderMan_17_Variant-610x983

Source: Comics Beat

Geekscape Comics: Marvel Announces ‘Superior Spider-Week’ Starting Monday

by Shawn Madden

Marvel has released an image that combines five different images together as teaser for “Superior Spider-Week”. Starting Monday of next week it looks like we’re going to be learning just what Dan Slott and company have in store for the web slinger in the coming months.

What’s in store for the Superior Spider-Man in the coming months? Find out next week!

1364578928

 

Geekscape Comics: Superior Spider-Man Is Fired In New Marvel NOW! Teaser

by Shawn Madden

A new teaser shows that coming this April The Superior Spider-Man is…fired? Are The Avengers giving him the pink slip? Is Slott using this to return Spider-Man to being more of a loner? Does this mean he can collect unemployment? Guess we’ll find out in April.

Superior Spider-Man #1 hits shelves tomorrow, make sure you pick it up!

Geekscape’s ‘The Week In Comics’

by Shawn Madden

Welcome to The Week In Comics, an all-new recap and rundown of the week’s news and events in comics. It may have been a slow week as far as releases, but it definitely was still a huge week due to two issues that hit the shelves.

Introducing The Superior Spider-Man!:

This week we were introduced to The Superior Spider-Man in issue #700 (also the final issue) of Amazing Spider-Man. If you haven’t check it out yet, read what I think about the character and why you should actually be excited for this in “The Superior Spider-Man: The Character You’re Going To Love To Hate” here.

Both issue #700 of Amazing Spider-Man and Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 flew off of shelves this Wednesday, with Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 now running around $15 on eBay, and have gone into second printing already. Below (courtesy of MTV Geek) you can check out Humberto Ramos second print variant for issue #700, an homage to Todd McFarlane’s cover from Amazing Spider-Man #300. Trust me when I say this, if you’re a collector do not sleep on this one because it will fly off of shelves as well.

Excelsior! Stan “The Man” Lee Turns 90:

And while on the subject of Spider-Man, we should also take a moment to wish a happy birthday to one of the men behind the creation of the character. A very happy 90th birthday to Stan “The Man” Lee!

“Thrones Of Atlantis” Begins:

Over on the DC shelf this week we saw the start of “Thones Of Atlantis”, the crossover event between Justice League and Aquaman. And if that last panel in #15 of Aquaman was any indication, this may be one event that you do not want to miss.

Could Wally West Be Coming To The DCnU In 2013?:

Now, don’t get your hopes too much yet over this next one but there’s a chance that we may finally see fan-favorite Flash Wally West joining the DCnU next year. It was revealed a bit back that current Flash writers Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato had a plan to bring the character to the DCnU, but there hasn’t been much talk about it since then. Dan Didio, DC’s Senior VP and Executive Editor, however made an interesting Facebook post earlier in the week.

Merry Christmas to Everyone!
Even you Wally. maybe I’ll see you in the New Year.

While this is no form of actual confirmation it is definitely interesting that he would include that there randomly. With Manupal and Buccellato revealing that we will be seeing the reverse flash coming next year, how could would it be if it turned out to be Wally West?


Like I said, this was definitely a small week due to the holidays. But definitely check back with us next week as we recap all the news and events coming to your local long box.

The Superior Spider-Man: The Character You’re Going To Love To Hate

by Shawn Madden

So, we are going to warn you right off the bat that there are spoilers in this article. If you have not yet read Amazing Spider-Man #700 and Avenging Spider-Man #15.1, you may want to avoid reading any further.

Starting next month we’re getting a new Spider-Man in the Marvel Universe. No, the man behind the mask is not Peter Parker. Well, not exactly that is. At the conclusion of “One Dying Wish” we end an era and begin a new chapter in Spider-Man’s story. This is quite possibly one of the riskiest stories that Marvel has done and is going to lead into something quite a bit darker and different than we’ve seen in the past when it comes to Spider-Man. Trust me, writer Dan Slott definitely has some of the biggest balls in comics right now. Just check hit Twitter feed out for all the hate he is getting over this.

There’s plenty of people already complaining about issue #700 without even reading it. Hell, I would even go as far to say that most of those people don’t even read comics and haven’t for years and just feel the need to constantly complain. Fans are always screaming for something different, even though most times fear it when they get it, and Marvel is giving you what you asked for. I’ve read the issue and as a life-long fan of Spider-Man can say it’s a “superior” end to the run (pun intended).

Marvel is shaking up the status quo with Marvel NOW! in order to generate new potential for storylines. Rather than giving us the hero that we’re going to root for, Slott is going to be giving us the anti-hero that we’re more so curious about and intrigued by. As the title above states, this is going to be a character that you are going to love to hate. But why would you read this story if it isn’t Peter Parker in the suit? Well, I am going to tell you why you should give this one a shot.

Do you honestly think that Slott and the people at Marvel do not have some form of outline as to where this story will go and lead to even more exciting storylines?  I mean, this story has been builiding up for one hundred issues. Yes, it started all the way back in issue #600. And do you think that this won’t, and it most likely will, end with the triumphant return of Peter Parker? We need these kinds of risks to happen in order for stories, as well as the characters involved, to evolve and grow. If we don’t take these risks, we face the stagnant boring repetitive stories that we complain about all the time. Personally, I am excited to see where they take the Superior Spider-Man series.  Especially being that I am going to get to see him deck Wolverine straight in the face.

So, comic readers while you may hate the character (and that’s kind of the point I think), I don’t get the feeling you’re going to hate where these comics take us. Instead of being the typical jaded comic reader who fears and hates change, make sure you pick up Amazing Spider-Man #700 and Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 this week. And then give Superior Spider-Man a shot before you write it off. While you may not admit it to your friends and the rest of the world, you may just end up becoming a fan of the series.

Geekscape Comics: ‘Amazing Spider-Man #698’ Sells Out And Goes Into Second Print

by Shawn Madden

Better hurry to your local comic shop and pick up a copy before they sell out. Writer Dan Slott has been stating that retailers didn’t order enough copies of the issue, and now we’ve learned that he was definitely right. Marvel has announced that The Amazing Spider-Man #698 has sold out and is now going into a second printing.

“The end of Spider-Man’s world begins when Doctor Octopus discovers who Peter Parker really is. This is the beginning of the end to this fifty year run and you will want to see the secret that will change everything! So don’t miss the most talked about comic of the year, returning to store shelves in just a few weeks with Amazing Spider-Man #698 Second Printing Variant!”

This is definitely an issue that will be talked about for quite some time. Do yourselves a favor and go pick up a copy as soon as possible.

 

Geekscape Comics: New Spider-Man Kissing Surprised MJ On ‘Superior Spider-Man #2’ Cover

by Derek Kraneveldt

As you must all know by now, Dan Slott’s upcoming Superior Spider-Man will have a new character donning the spider-suit. New, as in NOT Peter Parker.

This is causing a lot of controversy throughout the comic universe, which I believe is completely unfounded as not a single issue has been released as of yet.

Honestly I’m extremely excited. Superior is being labelled as a darker, more mature title, and who doesn’t want to see Spidey in that kind of world? Dan Slott has also done some fantastic work in his career, and I can’t wait to see what he does here.

CBM just revealed the cover for the second issue of the upcoming title, which depicts the still unknown new Spider-Man locking lips with a surprised looking Mary Jane.

Are you looking forward to the series? What do you think of this cover?

Geekscape Comics: First Art And Details Revealed For ‘The Superior Spider-Man’!

by Shawn Madden

Today we get our first look at The Superior Spider-Man. The relaunched series will be replacing The Amazing Spider-Man after issue #700 hits stands. Whatever happens in that final issue, which is said to be major, will result in a very new and different direction for Peter Parker, that is being described as “a far darker Spider-Man than fans have ever seen.”

Writer Dan Slott commented on the new direction:

“The one thing that does not go with this Spider-Man is the term ‘Friendly neighborhood. I’ve always been the omniscient hand that’s been protecting Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and not letting anything too bad happen to him. And now I’ve become this cruel god. There’s something exciting about that, about going, ‘Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha, here is what’s going to happen to you, Spider-Man!’ And it’s drastic and it’s big and it’s exciting and it’s never been done before.”

Artists Humberto Ramos, Giuseppe Camuncoli, and Ryan Stegman will be taking on art duties for the first three-issue arc, “Hero Or Menace”.

Source: USA Today

Geekscape Comics: Latest Marvel NOW! Teaser Reveals…’Superior Spider-Man’?!

by Shawn Madden

Not too long ago a Marvel NOW! teaser was revealed that just read “Superior” that led to much speculation as to what it meant. Earlier today USA Today revealed the following teaser which seem to confirm that Dan Slott , Ryan Stegman, Humberto Ramos and Giuseppe Camuncoli will be working on a new Marvel NOW! Spidey book.

The red and blue definitely also seems to be a clue. December’s issue #700 will be the final issue for The Amazing Spider-Man and it’s been talked about that there are some major changes coming for Peter Parker. But what these changes could be is up to anyone’s guess.

Geekscape Comics: ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Comes To An End With Issue #700!

by Shawn Madden

Whatever Marvel has up their sleeve for this December’s issue #700 of The Amazing Spider-Man is supposed to be huge. So huge in fact that Marvel are ending the series with that issue. There’s been no word as far as if the series is getting a relaunch as part of Marvel NOW! yet. Dan Slott has previously stated that the events of the issue are so major that he will have to go into hiding once it hits stands. And now the waiting game begins.

According to Dan Slott “Something really seismic is going to happen in “Amazing Spider-Man” #700”

by Shawn Madden

Now…C2E2 was awhile ago.

But one of the interviews  barely surfaced online yesterday.

In this interveiw Dan Slott went on to say…

“What happens in #700 — everything I’ve written my entire career in comics, nothing has had this big an effect on a character than what happens in “Spider-Man” #700. Other creators will say, “This will break the Internet in half,” and “This will do this” and “This will do that” — this is for real! This is my biggest whack at the comic book piñata. I’m breaking it and all the candy’s coming out. It’s not going back together. Something really seismic is going to happen in “Amazing Spider-Man” #700. So, you’re going to have “AvX” happen and shortly after, “Amazing Spider-Man” #700 and the Marvel Universe that you’re going to see after that — it’s not a reboot. There is no reboot. But the effects of “AvX” and the event that happens in “Spider-Man” #700 are so big that you’ll be looking at quite a different landscape after the seismic change”

And apparently Slott has stated that Marvel Editor-In-Chief Axel Alonso has been in contact with other creators on other Marvel books to ensure they reflect whatever changes.

So, what is the big change? Who knows. I don’t even want to speculate here and i’m hoping its something awesome (because honestly ASM has been pretty awesome as of recent) But I definitely don’t feel the urge to get into “OMG WHAT IS IT?” because I want to be suprised.

I will say however (because I know someone will say it and make threads about it online) they are not going to kill Peter Parker. They already did that in the Ultimate line and that’d be the stupidest thing possible. I for one am looking forward to see where they go with this even though it is a good while away.

Source:http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=38773

 

Avengers vs. X Men: The Matches We Really Want To See

by Joe Starr

I know that you’ve read a ton of other articles about fights people want to see in Avengers vs. X Men. And I know that you’ve been bored by them. Captain America and Cyclops? Meh. Rogue vs. Iron Man? Pfft. Red Hulk vs. Armor and Surge…? Acceptable. With fights that bland, I can’t believe Marvel hasn’t been purchased by Dreamwave yet.

There are a lot of battles I’m dreaming of that Marvel just doesn’t have the courage to give us. So here, in no particular order, are most of them.

 Decade Late Battle of the Decade: 

Gambit vs. 90’s Thor

Remy Lebeau: The poster child of 90’s Marvel. He’s still wearing that damn coat and that black and purply armor/jumpsuit thing and he’s still throwing cards. He couldn’t be anymore 90’s if he was throwing Wildstorm cards.

But the Son of Odin shant let the X Men own the 90’S! It’s time for Thor to pay his storage unit a visit and fish out the STRAPS! CHAINS! BELLY SHIRT! SHOULDER PADS! Whoever wields this dick armor, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!

Projected winner: Gambit is shattered into a pile of Phalanx Covenant hologram covers when he tries to hit Thor in the junk with his staff.

By the Order of Agent Henry Peter Gyrich:

Token Black Guy Battle Royale

Storm. Black Panther. Bishop. Falcon. That smart kid from New X Men that lost his powers. Patriot. Black Widow. Black Knight. Black Tom Cassidy. Throughout the years, a respectable handful of black superheroes have either protected a world that hated and feared them or served as one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

But heads up, true believers: after AvX every spot for an African American hero is being taken up by a different Spider-Man costume variation, and according to Gyrich, the Avengers and X Men will share one only black person between the two teams.

Projected winner: Krystalin from X Men 2099 wins the spot. Black Panther stops hanging out in New York all the time and remembers to run that country that he’s the king of.

The Real McCoy:

X Men Beast vs. Avengers Beast

One 3.99 22 page comic of Hank McCoy sitting in his room making a pros and cons list about which team he should fight alongside. WRITTEN BY GRANT MORRISON.

Projected Winner: Whichever one makes him not look like a cat anymore.

Kid Gladiator vs. Everyone

I mainly just want to see Kid Gladiator beat the hell out of that dinosaur kid from Avengers Academy like a super strong Verne Gagne. Did you guys know that Kid Gladiator is the future of comics? Because he is.

Projected Winner: Kid Gladiator beats up the whole crossover, jumps to the New 52, and takes care of them, too. Broo helps.

The Chuck Austen Memorial Cage Match: 

Lionheart vs. Nurse Annie

If Lionheart wins, she gets to see her kids which she couldn’t do for some reason! If Annie wins, she…I guess she bangs Havok? And her son watches? Chuck Austen was weird.

Projected Winner: Chuck Austen, for me reminding everyone he existed for a paragraph.

Andy Kaufman InterGender

Championship Match: 

Hank Pym vs. Emma Frost

I just want to see Hank try and give Emma the Pym-Hand. She used to be a stripper. They know how to deal with dudes like that.

Projected winner: Emma Frost makes Pym sit on his hands by force.

The ‘I Know Now Why You Cry But It Is Something I Can Never Do’ Invitational Robot Fight: 

Vision vs. Danger

Maybe it’s because I was just writing about old Chuck Austen runs, but I hope Scarlet Witch falls in love with Danger.

Projected Winner: Vision is in control until Hugh Jackman figures out how to make Danger mimic his shadow boxing moves.

Avengers: Disassembled

vs. X Men: Disassembled

Bendis is leaving Avengers. We know this to be true. And we all know by now that his roadmap to a franchise’s success looks something like this:

1. Disassemble
2. Red Ninjas
3. Profit
4. Red Ninjas

Don’t think it’s not coming, X fans. Sure, they just schismed, but right after we had a Civil War we were Secretly Invaded, and then we faced Fear Itself like two days later. Somewhere in there, Spider-Man big-timed. X Men: Disassembled is coming for us and the mutants are going to have to prove that they can disassemble better than the Avengers.

This will be an uphill battle for the X Men. For one thing, they don’t assemble so I think they’ll have to call it X Men: Disuncannied. I hope Bendis just makes X Men: Disuncannied Pixie’s fault so we can get rid of her.

Projected Winner: Bendis gets five more years of glory when The Hood relocates The Hand to San Francisco.

Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax

Not even fighting anyone. I just want them around more.

Projected Winner: Everyone that buys The Adventures of Kid Gladiator Featuring Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax #1, the MAJOR new ongoing series spinning out of the pages of AvX written by Dan Slott and Jason Aaron with art by Stuart Immonen!  Special back up story: BROO MEETS PRESIDENT OBAMA!

Joe Starr is the host of GEEKSCAPE PRESENTS, our monthly free live comedy show. The next one is April 3 and you can learn all about it HERE.