Carly Sullivan may not be a household name to some of you Geekscapists… but she should be! As one of the stars of SyFy’s new comic book adaptation ‘Happy!’, based on the hilariously deranged series by Grant Morrison and Darick Robertson, Carly is making a name for herself as a comedic force… and a big nerd that you’re sure to love! We talk about her origins in Florida, working through life hurdles and self-doubt and how Happy! came at just the right time! I also sit down with my good friend Tobin Addington to start the episode to plug his brand new podcast ‘The Contenders’, all about women in film! It’s a pretty packtastic episode so enjoy!

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The relationship between artist and creation is strange. Some may use the analogy of parent and child, while others may use friend, lover, or simply a “thing.” But it’s a difficult relationship no matter what label. What you make is intended for others, yet others may not see what you tried to make. So imagine if you could talk to your creation. Better yet, what if you could travel with them?

Such is the dark, moody, hazy world that is Grant Morrison’s Annihilator. With stunning art by longtime Morrison collaborator Frazer Irving, Annihilator #1 is the surprisingly small and intimate set-up for what is bound to be a grand epic.

Ray Spass (pronounced “space,” as in “outer”) is messed up. He’s a drunk and drug addict that hires prostitutes by the truckload. He was a successful screenwriter in Hollywood that hasn’t quite gotten over an ex-lover. He has a zany look, appropriate for his inner psyche but it’s also kind of absurd, and it’s a look that is difficult to empathize with. Which seems to be the point. It’s one of those shaved heads with the other half of the cranium having full-grown hair. He looks like Shane from The Walking Dead trying to look hip, and it comes off as gross. But Spass is gross anyway.

We meet Spass buying a new house in Los Angeles. It’s a beautiful, modern home but its fucked up past (it has hosted Satanic rituals and has been the site of murders) is what brings Spass to move in. He’s attracted to bad juju, in his words. But he’s also tired. Exhausted. He’s drinking during the day and is snorting coke by the barrel loads. His only friend, if you could call him that, is his white-haired agent in a suit that he’s alienating every time they meet. His agent begs him to shape up, because the studio has given him one last opportunity to write what they want to be their next tentpole franchise. Spass’ current screenplay is good, but not great, and doesn’t have anything past the first act. Spass collapses under the pressure — which turns out to be a pretty horrific illness.

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About that screenplay. It is the titular Annihilator, and it comes from the movie-within-the-story’s physical location: a black hole. Max Nomax is an intergalactic rebel, a kind of a gothic/punk-rock Han Solo. Nomax has been sentenced for a crime — a vague one, but something Morrison himself has promised that we’ll come to know about as the series continues — and is banished to solitary confinement (save for an odd, bug-eyed teddy bear robot and the stasis corpse of “an angel”). Scientists stationed near the black hole went absolutely insane, which just excites the ever-living crap out of Max Nomax.

Nomax tricks his captors to a grisly fate, and just as Max delivers a brief but passionate soliloquy against the never-ending darkness… we’re back to Spass.

It is difficult to understand the framing structure of Annihilator. Throughout the book, Max Nomax and his creator Ray Spass have a parallel adventure, but without spoiling the framing goes out the window when someone shows up where they shouldn’t be. By the last page, it is hard to see what will become of Annihilator‘s storytelling.

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There is plenty to see and mull over right in issue #1, and the hauntingly beautiful art by Irving will warrant at least one look-through just looking at the drawings. Irving’s understanding of colors is masterful. There isn’t merely one color palette all over the book, but rather he uses particular palettes against certain locations. Downtown Los Angeles does not look like the space station above the black hole, but there’s something unifying about their look that prevents visual whiplash. Blues goes against yellows, which reminds me vividly of Eyes Wide Shut, for some reason. Erotic imagery makes for a fascinating sequence in the middle of book #1, a sequence told montage-style seen through drugged eyes. You are almost lulled into a high that makes the transition into the two and a half pages of fucking like a dream. A dream you are harshly woken up from.

I’m excited to see Annihilator all the way through. Issue #1 leaves enough to keep you wanting more, but it failed to establish the proper rules of not only the world but of how it will tell its story. But the story is good! It’s ingenious. It’s Milton and Aligheri and Lovecraft and Easton Ellis and somehow, kinda George Lucas. It’s inventive sci-fi, and I can’t wait to read the next issue.

Geekscape gives Issue #1 a powerful 3.5/5 stars. It’s an amazing premise cut too short and without any clear understanding of the world’s rules. In any case, we’re really looking forward to what’s next.

Looking for more Annihilator? Read our interview with creator Grant Morrison here.

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What’s it like to be pushed to the brink? To stare into your own mortality? To have nothing left, and to make one last Hail Mary pass to prevent your own obscurity? Most importantly, what’s it like to embark on a quest with a living character that you made up?

It must be a hell of a road trip.

Backed by publisher Legendary Comics, Annihilator is the newest book written by Grant Morrison and with art by Frazer Irving. A poignant (and sometimes funny) dark sci-fi adventure about a failed screenwriter embarking on a journey with a living, breathing being crafted by his own deisng Morrison tries to make sense of death and mortality, manifested as a black hole at the center of the universe.

I spoke to the prolific writer about the inspiration of his new series, its art direction and why writing can be “quite sexy.”

Annilhator Cover

You’re finishing up the Multiversity and now you’re back to original stories. What’s it like to do original content instead of tentpole characters like Superman?

Grant: Well, I like to do the DC Universe stuff and the Marvel stuff, I’ve mostly done DC. I like to do it because it’s kind of like entering a very specific world with very specific rules and heroes and heroines … but I kind of recently wanted to get back to writing about real things, y’know? About real experiences and people I’ve met. The new books like Annihilator and Nameless coming out from Image later this year are a lot more about that.

What can you tell me about Annihilator? I understand it’s about a failed screenwriter embarking on a journey. Can you elaborate a little more?

Grant: Yeah, that’s a very barebones description! [laughs] Definitely. It’s about a character called Ray Spass who is basically, not so much “down and out,” but he’s kind of alienated people that he loves. He’s fallen out with everyone and he has a final chance to create a new screenplay for a tentpole franchise for a big studio. And that movie is called “Annihilator.” And it’s about a character called Max Nomax, who has been the kind of ultimate rebel in the galaxy. The artist, the creator, the lover, the escape artist. And Nomax has been sentenced… to a space station orbiting around a black hole at the center of our galaxy, the “Great Annihilator,” for some unspecified crime which we’ll learn about as the series progresses.

Sounds exhilarating! What’s the inspiration for the story? I get a kind of Dante Aligheri-type of vibe, a character going on an ethereal journey. What was the idea behind Annihilator?

Grant: The story is actually very material. The whole story is about the material and the way how it contrasts very vividly with the world of illusion. So Max Nomax is certainly, I think you’re right, quite a satanic character. We took the archetype of the neurotic boy inside the black clad, high-cheek bone young man … and we took it all the way back to Milton’s Satan and built it up again [for it] to become Max Nomax. And connected him to lots of pop culture anti-hero figures like Fantômas from the early French pulp novels through things like Diabolik, the criminal of the Italian comics of the 1970s, which were about these weird anti-heroes. So that’s the kind of guy. We were trying to bring him back to life and sort of say, “Here’s Max Nomax.”

The life of a writer is terrifying, no doubt, it’s a quest on its own. But you’ve conquered that journey! In 2006 you were named the #2 Favorite Comic Book Writer by Comic Book Resources.

Grant: Yeah! Number two! Number two! [laughs]

But because of that, are you referring to at all to the struggles you’ve experienced as a screenwriter in Annihilator?

Grant: Sure, I said before I’ve worked in Hollywood for quite a long time and I’ve done a whole bunch of studio screenplays and been paid quite handsomely. But not one of them has been made. And you pour so much soul into them. Because in Hollywood there are so many drafts, the work can become quite beautiful by the end of it. If the drafts are done well then it becomes really great, but if they’re not done well it falls apart.

But I have seen work that have been turned into shining gems, some of them are my favorite stuff and they have not been filmed. And I’ll probably die before they’re ever filmed. So basically, yeah, this is about that. Sometimes you can pour your heart and soul into something that never gets made in Hollywood. In comics you kind of get to do what you want when you put out your ideas, which is why I love them so much.

There’s also no budget so there’s no limit to what you can do.

Grant: Yeah. It costs an awful lot for a movie or a TV show, but for a comic not so much. Also you can experiment and try things.

You’ve worked with artist Frazer Irving many times. What was it about his style that you wanted for Annihilator?

Grant: I actually wrote the story for him. After we worked on Batman and Klarion the Witch Boy at DC, which was a kind of young adult god. A Harry Potter for Puritans. So I kind of figured he was the one to do this ultimate, romantic, dark — you know, it’s [about] orbiting a black hole. So I thought Frazer was the best, and also because he works with light, I mean his work is so beautiful, he colors everything himself and it’s all done with light. I mean, what is most exciting is not only does he capture the kind of “haunted house” atmosphere, but is his versatility. He’s never been there, but he captures the orange-pitch of chemical light of Los Angeles so amazingly. And it almost becomes a character itself, you know the quality of light. It was written for him and I think it surpasses his previous work.

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I think he did a fantastic job too! I’ll have to read the rest of the book to see if it surpasses his past work, but I can’t wait to read it. Finally, what is it ultimately that you want to tell with Annihilator? I can’t help but think you’re writing this as kind of a warning for aspiring writers. Kind of like, “Hey, this is what writing is like, and it’s dangerous!” 

Grant: There is a bit of that, writing is really dangerous but it’s also quite sexy and exciting. It’s the way we make meaning. And ultimately, the story of Annihilator is that the notion of orbiting that black hole. And the black hole is death or mortality, but around that central idea that we’re all gonna die, we create so much meaning. We make stories, we make movies, or paintings, and we try to explain that black hole. And the black hole swallows everything and we try to explain it. That’s what it’s about. I was trying to say something quite ominous about how I see mortality and death, but in a funny way. I try to keep emphasizing that it’s funny. [laughs] Anyone trying to talk about mortality and death just seems morbid.

Annihilator is out on store shelves today, September 9!

Briefly: All the way back in July of last year, Legendary Comics debuted the awesome cover art for Grant Morrison and Frazer Irving’s Annihilator.

Since then, we haven’t heard too much about the project… until today, when Legendary announced the book’s release date, and debuted its first interior art.

Issue one (of six) of Annihilator will span 40 pages and release on September 4th, 2014, while Legendary’s original A Town Called Dragon by Judd Winick (Batman, Green Lantern) and Geoff Shaw will begin its five-issue run on September 24th.

Here’s the synopsis for Annihilator:

Hellraising screenwriter Ray Spass has one last chance to restore himself to former glory as he struggles to write a new studio tent-pole movie, Annihilator. The film centers around the adventures of Max Nomax, a sci-fi anti-hero caught in an epic struggle against the authoritarian artificial life form Vada and it’s chief assassin, Jet Makro.

 

But when Max Nomax appears in real-life, Ray thinks it’s a side effect of the brain tumor he was recently diagnosed with. Despite all logic, Nomax is real, having escaped from an impossible prison with no memory. Ray’s tumor is the key—it contains all Nomax’s adventures, downloaded into Ray’s head before Nomax escaped.

 

Ray needs to finish his screenplay in order to get the information out of his head and shrink the tumor. Nomax needs Ray to finish his screenplay so he can remember who he is, what ultimate crime he has committed, how to defeat Vada and save the universe from annihilation – if the unstoppable Jet Makro doesn’t reach Nomax and Ray first.

Take a look at the first interior art from the book below, and let us know if you’ll be picking it up when it hits stores in September!

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Briefly: DC Animation’s next film looks awesome.

It’s called Son of Batman, and it’s based on Grant Morrison’s 2006 arc Batman and Son, in which Bats learns that he’s a daddy, and that the kid who he now must raise is kind-of a jerk.

You can take a look at the first trailer for Son of Batman (via TV Guide) below. Giancarlo Esposito’s in it!

Looks pretty great, huh? Son of Batman will premiere at WonderCon, and launch on DVD and Blu-Ray shortly afterwards.

Legendary Comics today revealed Frazer Irving’s first cover for Grant Morrison’s Annihilator.

The anticipated book is still without a release date (which should be forthcoming), but based on the awesome concept, let alone the team behind it, I’m already beyond sold on Annihilator.

Take a look at the first issue’s cover below (as well as the book’s synopsis), and let us know if you’re looking forward to it!

Annilhator Cover

Hellraising screenwriter Ray Spass has one last chance to restore himself to former glory as he struggles to write a new studio tent-pole movie, Annihilator. The film centers around the adventures of Max Nomax, a sci-fi anti-hero caught in an epic struggle against the authoritarian artificial life form Vada and it’s chief assassin, Jet Makro.

But when Max Nomax appears in real-life, Ray thinks it’s a side effect of the brain tumor he was recently diagnosed with. Despite all logic, Nomax is real, having escaped from an impossible prison with no memory. Ray’s tumor is the key—it contains all Nomax’s adventures, downloaded into Ray’s head before Nomax escaped.

Ray needs to finish his screenplay in order to get the information out of his head and shrink the tumor. Nomax needs Ray to finish his screenplay so he can remember who he is, what ultimate crime he has committed, how to defeat Vada and save the universe from annihilation – if the unstoppable Jet Makro doesn’t reach Nomax and Ray first.

I’m not one to get particularly sentimental when it comes to creators of the media I consume, let alone executives and editors. Of course, like everyone, I have my  pantheon of persons whom I trust and whose content I relish and devour and track the moment it is in announced but they are few and far between, but even of those, I know which projects I might cling to and which I can avoid. That said, there was one imprint I trusted fully when I wanted to try something new, back when my income was more disposable than it is now; before the recession, before I was an ‘adult’. The imprint in question was Vertigo Comics, and the reason I trusted it was by and large because of Executive Editor and Senior Vice President Karen Berger.

An end of an era has come, as DC has officially announced that Berger shall be leaving Vertigo and DC Entertainment this coming March in a statement released Monday:

Karen Berger, Executive Editor & Senior Vice President of DC Entertainment’s Vertigo brand, has announced she is stepping down from her post after nearly 20 years at the helm of the award-winning literary imprint. She will remain on through March 2013 where she will be assisting in the transition to a new leadership team which includes veteran staffers whom she has mentored over the years.

As I am writing this, I am more than a little choked up. Tears are stinging my eyes, as I look at my physical comic book collection (I have gone mostly digital in the past few years) and think back on my development as a comic book reader over the last decade. From the near-universally adored Sandman and Fables, the controversial-but-profitable V for Vendetta, to the practically unknown 12-issue run of the Vinyl Underground. Berger was behind each of these titles and shaped my reading and understanding of comics in ways that the mainstream superhero titles could not. They explored heavier philosophical ideas, endured more mature themes (not just violence and sex, but the many shades of gray that gradient between our concepts of right and wrong), and they kept my interest in the graphic medium when spandexed crime fighters began to feel a little too puerile even for me. Vertigo was like an independent publisher but with the luxury of a corporation behind it. Under Berger, it took chances at every turn and refused to rest on its laurels, even when the money made sense to do so.

As a girl real reading comics, it didn’t hurt that she was a woman. I remember the first time I flipped through a volume of Sandman and saw her name in small print on the inside cover. I must have been fifteen or so  when I ran to my mother enthusiastically and said, “Look! We can work in comics. She did it, so can I!” Even though I am writing this article in a feature called “Heroine Addict,” which is all about women and their place, role, and future in geek culture and genre fiction, I still forget how much it means to see other women succeeding and paving the way for future female creatives and executives. Visibility matters.

It only helped that she managed such a strong and stable history of amazing titles and creators filter through during her tenure. American Virgin, TransmetropolitanGarth Ennis, Grant Morrison. Household names now, but then? What would life be like if Karen Berger hadn’t been there? Certainly some of the greats would have made it through, but in a world where George R. R. Martin turned down Neil Gaiman to write for an anthology because he was too unknown, one cannot truly surmise how greatly she has impacted us as individuals, let alone as a community. I do not want to spend too much time on hypotheticals, but one thing is certain: for the past decade when I picked up a number one of a new title or bought a trade by an author with whom I was not yet familiar, if it had the Vertigo logo on it, I knew I was in for some solid storytelling, brilliant ideas, and great characters.

We do not know yet where Berger plans to go from Vertigo. She simply said that she was in need of a “career change,” and in light of DC pulling the plug on Hellblazer and other Vertigo staples coming to an end, one can only speculate that even with Fables, its spin-offs continuing their runs, and Sandman returning in March, this very well appears to be Vertigo’s twilight. Lucky, for me, there is still a back catalog of work that was produced under her tenure that I have yet to complete (namely Y: The Last Man and Scalped), and a few I couldn’t quite get behind but may revisit (i.e., Preacher—I loved the ideas, but sometimes the gore was just too gruesome for me to get past). At least for now, there is more to be read and, of course, her legacy will remain in print thanks to trades and digital publishing. But what of the future—for both Vertigo and Berger? We will have to wait and see: one with morbid curiosity, the other with hope.

It looks like Quentin Tarantino’s protege The RZA, who is set to make his directorial debut with next month’s The Man With The Iron Fists, has already lined up his next project. He will be teaming up with Grant Morrison to bring Morrison’s latest comic, keep in mind that only one issue of the mini-series has been released, Happy to the big screen. The comic debuted last month featuring art from Darick Robertson.

The script will be written by Morrison himself so don’t expect it to be too far off from the actual comic. But then again…none of us actually know what happens in the series past issue one so far. RZA is attached to direct and would produce with Hudlin, a producer on Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained. If you haven’t picked up the first issue of Happy, and after this news it’s probably not going to be easy to, you probably should. The book is kind of like if you took bits of It’s a Wonderful LifeSin City, and Care Bears and mixed them all up into one neat little Grant Morrison package.

The synopsis for Happy:

Happy! centers on Nick Sax, a scummy corrupt ex-cop and hitman. After a hit goes bad and Sax is left gravely injured, he is suddenly able to see Happy, a cheerful little blue horse who won’t give in to adversity, no matter what unpleasant obstacles come in the way. Days before Christmas, Sax teams up with the saccharine horse to the save the life of a troubled kid and maybe find redemption amid the squalor of his city.

Source: THR

This weekend at MorrisonCon in Las Vegas, writer Grant Morrison announced that he will be reintroducing the Multiverse to DC Comics with an eight-part miniseries entitled Multiversity.

The following was said about the series on DC Comics’ blog:

“DC Entertainment is proud to confirm that Grant Morrison’s love letter to superhero comics, MULTIVERSITY, will be hitting stores in late 2013.

MULTIVERSITY is an 8-issue series comprising 6 one-shots and a two-part conclusion with each issue featuring a 38-page lead story followed by an 8-page backup. Each issue takes place on a different parallel world from the main DC Earth and functions as a number one issue. Each world in the Multiverse publishes comic books about the heroes on the OTHER worlds. Once the characters realize this, they then unite to respond to the villains!

Additionally, each universe (which have been brewing in Morrison’s mind for years) will open up an endless series of worlds and realities for future writers and creators to use, expand upon and enjoy.”

Also, each issue will be drawn by a different artist, and while DC is keeping most names under wraps, it is confirmed that Frank Quitely will be handling the art duties for the fourth book, Pax Americana. Below is a preview of PAX AMERICANA #1, eaturing The Question and what appears to be Ted Kord aka Blue Beetle. The Pax story revolves around the assassination of a president and how the Charleston characters failed him.

Source: DC

This GeekscapePod is a bit packed! I give an update on ‘Doc of the Dead’ and our friend Matt Mogk’s campaign to get George Romero his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! Three really strong movies are out now that you should see: ‘Looper’, ‘Dredd 3D’ and ‘End of Watch’. I list why Rion Johnson should be at the top of the list for Doctor Strange directors! ‘Happy’ is almost more of the same from Grant Morrison! Our ‘Sinister’ screening kicked ass! ‘Marvel NOW’ can’t come soon enough and I take it upon myself to welcome Nintendo into the 21st Century!

Subscribe to the show on iTunes!

During Grant Morrison’s run on New X-Men quite some time ago, he made a very controversial decision to have Beast undergo a second mutation which gave the character a more feline-like appearance. Well, it seems that the the following excerpt from the script as well as the preview from Bendis & Immonen’s All-New X-Men #1  indicates that we may see the character undergo yet another mutation. Now the question is…to what?

ALL-NEW X-MEN #1
Page 2-3
1- Ext. Jean Grey School for Higher Learning- day
Wide shot of the mansion from the front gate looking in.
It is a gorgeous day and it’s a calm day at the mansion.
Reads: the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning
THE BEAST
JOURNAL
I am mutating.
And it is [REDACTED].

Source: Marvel

Not too long ago it was reported that Grant Morrison would be leaving DC Comics but it has been well known that he still had one project left for them. This project was a mysterious Wonder Woman project and now it appears, according to Bleeding Cool, that we will be getting a Wonder Woman: Earth One sometime next year from Morrison and current Swamp Thing artist Yanick Paquette.

While some fans weren’t too fond of Superman: Earth One (I actually did like this one however), Batman: Earth One received critical praise and both titles have sequels in the works. Morrison stated the following about the upcoming project:

“So Marston had all these ideas and it was very deep, there was a book by him which was hidden in the DC Comics vaults because they didn’t really want anyone to see it, and a friend of mine at DC sneaked it out for me one time. And it’s this thing, and honestly you can’t read it, it’s deranged, it’s like the guys just done mescaline or something, talking about his sexual theories.

…But then Marston died, and that energy left the strip, it just disappeared… when you took the sex out of Wonder Woman, the thing went flat. And the sales died immediately after Marston himself died and never ever recovered.

… I think I’ve found a way, but I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve done because hopefully the Wonder Woman series will be out next year sometime or thereabouts. But I think I’ve found a way to get all that back in again but it took a lot of reading. This has been the hardest project I’ve ever done.

That Superman’s meant to be this ultimate expression of masculinity and he still gets to be sexual, while Wonder Woman’s meant to be the ultimate expression of womanhood and yet she isn’t allowed anything to do with sex.”

So, what do you think about this project? Does Morrison’s take on Wonder Woman sound like something that you want to read?

After Grant Morrison’s announcement yesterday that he would be leaving DC it appears that Rob Liefeld may be next. Earlier today he tweeted:

After this caused a bit of buzz he tweeted the following:

Rumor is that if Liefeld can’t make the Hawkman or Grifter books work than they may be next for cancellation. Maybe he is returning to Image to focus on some of his own work? So, what do you think or do any of you care if he leaves the New 52?

Source: Twitter

 

An a recent interview with CBR, Grant Morrison made an announcement that is sure to be very upsetting to fans. Morrison announced that he would be stepping away from ongoing superhero books for the time being.

The ‘Action Comics’ run concludes with issue #16, ‘Batman Incorporated’ wraps up my take with issue #12, and after that I don’t have any plans for monthly superhero books for a while. ‘Multiversity’ is eight issues and I’m 30-odd pages into a Wonder Woman project but those are finite stories.

While the news of Morrison working on a Wonder Woman project may make Geekscape writer Eric Diaz quite happy the rest of the news here is sure to disappoint a number of Morrison’s fans.

Welcome back to the wonderful, wacky bat-world of Grant Morrison. This week sees the release of “Batman Incorporated #1” and it’s a very welcome sight to be had. As with any Grant Morrison book, you may need a second reading to take it all in. This issue just has it all and it all works so well.

I’ll keep it light on any spoilers…

When the issue begins, we find Bruce Wayne and Alfred standing in the family cemetery, with Bruce informing Alfred that it’s all over with. Alfred asks Bruce a question, but before we get a chance to hear his response they are greeted by some surprise guests. From there the story flashes back one month and we find Batman and Robin in pursuit of a goat-headed killer. That’s right, a goat-headed killer, this is indeed a Grant Morrison book. Their pursuit leads to a pretty awesome fight in the middle of a meat-packing plant that’s filled with lots of blood.

The rest of the issue moves at a quick pace, we are treated to some ninja man-bats (oh how I’ve missed you), some great father-son banter between the dynamic duo, and a new villain by the name of Goatboy. Apparently there’s room for more than just one goat-headed killer in this town, Gotham does mean “Home of Goats” after all. There’s a few panels that show us what the rest of Batman, Inc. are up to, as well as the series main baddies Leviathan. The final page is a true cliff-hanger and will leave you eagerly awaiting the next issue.

Chris Burnham tackles the artwork in this issue and knocks it out of the park. The fight in the meat-packing plant that I mentioned earlier is a a particular standout, it all flows nicely and looks amazingly-bloody with blood splattered everywhere. Burnham also uses some really cool panel lay-outs in the issue. There’s a scene of Batman and Robin swinging through Gotham and Burnham uses the buildings in the foreground and background as additional panels and even colors them to look as if they have been painted on the side of the buildings. You’ll just have to see it for yourself, as my explanation of it can not do it full justice.

Everything in this issue just works so well together. If Grant Morrison keeps this up, Scott Snyder’s “Batman” may have some competition as the best bat-book on the shelves. Only time will tell of course. Do yourselves a favor and check this book out.

Score: 9/10

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Bat-Cow?!

 

 

 

 

 

I know that you’ve read a ton of other articles about fights people want to see in Avengers vs. X Men. And I know that you’ve been bored by them. Captain America and Cyclops? Meh. Rogue vs. Iron Man? Pfft. Red Hulk vs. Armor and Surge…? Acceptable. With fights that bland, I can’t believe Marvel hasn’t been purchased by Dreamwave yet.

There are a lot of battles I’m dreaming of that Marvel just doesn’t have the courage to give us. So here, in no particular order, are most of them.

 Decade Late Battle of the Decade: 

Gambit vs. 90’s Thor

Remy Lebeau: The poster child of 90’s Marvel. He’s still wearing that damn coat and that black and purply armor/jumpsuit thing and he’s still throwing cards. He couldn’t be anymore 90’s if he was throwing Wildstorm cards.

But the Son of Odin shant let the X Men own the 90’S! It’s time for Thor to pay his storage unit a visit and fish out the STRAPS! CHAINS! BELLY SHIRT! SHOULDER PADS! Whoever wields this dick armor, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!

Projected winner: Gambit is shattered into a pile of Phalanx Covenant hologram covers when he tries to hit Thor in the junk with his staff.

By the Order of Agent Henry Peter Gyrich:

Token Black Guy Battle Royale

Storm. Black Panther. Bishop. Falcon. That smart kid from New X Men that lost his powers. Patriot. Black Widow. Black Knight. Black Tom Cassidy. Throughout the years, a respectable handful of black superheroes have either protected a world that hated and feared them or served as one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

But heads up, true believers: after AvX every spot for an African American hero is being taken up by a different Spider-Man costume variation, and according to Gyrich, the Avengers and X Men will share one only black person between the two teams.

Projected winner: Krystalin from X Men 2099 wins the spot. Black Panther stops hanging out in New York all the time and remembers to run that country that he’s the king of.

The Real McCoy:

X Men Beast vs. Avengers Beast

One 3.99 22 page comic of Hank McCoy sitting in his room making a pros and cons list about which team he should fight alongside. WRITTEN BY GRANT MORRISON.

Projected Winner: Whichever one makes him not look like a cat anymore.

Kid Gladiator vs. Everyone

I mainly just want to see Kid Gladiator beat the hell out of that dinosaur kid from Avengers Academy like a super strong Verne Gagne. Did you guys know that Kid Gladiator is the future of comics? Because he is.

Projected Winner: Kid Gladiator beats up the whole crossover, jumps to the New 52, and takes care of them, too. Broo helps.

The Chuck Austen Memorial Cage Match: 

Lionheart vs. Nurse Annie

If Lionheart wins, she gets to see her kids which she couldn’t do for some reason! If Annie wins, she…I guess she bangs Havok? And her son watches? Chuck Austen was weird.

Projected Winner: Chuck Austen, for me reminding everyone he existed for a paragraph.

Andy Kaufman InterGender

Championship Match: 

Hank Pym vs. Emma Frost

I just want to see Hank try and give Emma the Pym-Hand. She used to be a stripper. They know how to deal with dudes like that.

Projected winner: Emma Frost makes Pym sit on his hands by force.

The ‘I Know Now Why You Cry But It Is Something I Can Never Do’ Invitational Robot Fight: 

Vision vs. Danger

Maybe it’s because I was just writing about old Chuck Austen runs, but I hope Scarlet Witch falls in love with Danger.

Projected Winner: Vision is in control until Hugh Jackman figures out how to make Danger mimic his shadow boxing moves.

Avengers: Disassembled

vs. X Men: Disassembled

Bendis is leaving Avengers. We know this to be true. And we all know by now that his roadmap to a franchise’s success looks something like this:

1. Disassemble
2. Red Ninjas
3. Profit
4. Red Ninjas

Don’t think it’s not coming, X fans. Sure, they just schismed, but right after we had a Civil War we were Secretly Invaded, and then we faced Fear Itself like two days later. Somewhere in there, Spider-Man big-timed. X Men: Disassembled is coming for us and the mutants are going to have to prove that they can disassemble better than the Avengers.

This will be an uphill battle for the X Men. For one thing, they don’t assemble so I think they’ll have to call it X Men: Disuncannied. I hope Bendis just makes X Men: Disuncannied Pixie’s fault so we can get rid of her.

Projected Winner: Bendis gets five more years of glory when The Hood relocates The Hand to San Francisco.

Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax

Not even fighting anyone. I just want them around more.

Projected Winner: Everyone that buys The Adventures of Kid Gladiator Featuring Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax #1, the MAJOR new ongoing series spinning out of the pages of AvX written by Dan Slott and Jason Aaron with art by Stuart Immonen!  Special back up story: BROO MEETS PRESIDENT OBAMA!

Joe Starr is the host of GEEKSCAPE PRESENTS, our monthly free live comedy show. The next one is April 3 and you can learn all about it HERE.