So, this review is late but there’s a decent reason: I wasn’t planning on picking this series up. I hate the term ‘event fatigue,’ but about halfway through ‘Fear Itself’ the beast reared its ugly head and I stopped about halfway through.

It wasn’t so much that I was tired of limited series books or empty promises of big changes. These complaints get tossed around a lot, and they aren’t always completely fair. Marvel has done a decent job giving lasting impact after each event- House of M completely redefined the X-verse, but on the other hand, Secret Invasion sacrificed the Age of Normpocalypse by rushing it into Siege.

What took me out of Fear Itself was the throwaway impact on the world that these superheroes live in. Fear Itself was about breaking the world in half. Panels featured bodies piled building high and reports of autism rates tripling and dogs and cats living together and in the end they were all throwaway moments. Are we ever going to see any of that pay off outside of a ‘Battle Scars’ mini that most folks won’t read? Which books are going to deal with the fact that the world just got blitzed by Norse powered Exo Suit Nazis? I mean really deal with it, not just devote a panel to Jarvis saying “My word, those Exo Suit Nazis certainly were a pain, right Ms. Danvers?” and dusting his shoulders off. It’s almost like Fear Itself had ‘event fatigue’ and was becoming a parody of event books- “Paris just exploded. Eh, who cares. Here comes a panel of action that suggests you buy some issue of Iron Man.” More on compressed storytelling like that later.

And now I’m rambling. MOVING FORWARD. Someone convinced me that AvX would be about two teams fighting for a specific goal and that autism rates skyrocketing would have nothing to do with it. Also, I love a good Frank Cho.

So let’s bust through this. Issue 0 is purely set up. Cyclops is training Hope and she wants to know why everyone keeps mouthing the words ‘giant firebird’ and then making explosion noises while gesturing at her when she walks into rooms. Cyclops doesn’t want her to know because she just isn’t ready. And you’d think she’s ready, because she’s clearly 23. Wait, what? She’s how old? Jesus, Frank.

Meanwhile, it’s the Scarlet Witch! I started reading Avengers right when she was going insane and killing them, so Scarlet Witch the hex bolting super hero is new for me. Ms. Marvel is stoked to see her but the Vision is not thrilled. Can we recolor this guy? He just looks silly. I actually laughed at his big green robot tears.
So that’s where we are at the end of #0. Scarlet Witch is back but now she’s gone. Hope is being trained. And here comes Phoenix!

ISSUE #1! I love the opening, with the father and son on their farm and then their planet gets blown to shit by the Phoenix. Quick and brutal. The Avengers then have a terrible time catching a crashing plane and a jet engine. It takes almost 6 pages and makes you wonder how they survived all of those Nazi Gundams. A building gets broken and pieces and people fall and those people that hate Mad Men because of 9-11 probably got furious. The plane got busted up because Nova crashed through it. He warns the Avengers that ‘it’s coming’ and then passes out. There’s a weird conversation between Iron Man and Protector that comes off like a bad improv scene. It’s the only Bendis strike in the whole book.

You wondering what Cyclops and Hope are doing right now? Yeah. Training. I bet Hope is wishing she had left for the Jean Grey Academy. Maybe she’d be having some laughs and making out with Kid Gladiator, AKA THE FUTURE OF MARVEL COMICS. It’s a cool sequence with Cyclops REALLY pushing the kid. She gets all firebirdy and lashes out. She is not comfortable with it. Let me mention here that Bendis writes the hell out of Cyclops. I love the tension in Cyclops in this first issue. This guy is at breaking point, and after everything he’s been through, I don’t blame him.

The Avengers pick up the Phoenix energy signature. They mention that they’ve been scanning for Phoenix ever since the Jean Grey Incident. I’m not sure which incident they’re referring to and why they didn’t show up any time Rachel Summers is on the planet earth or during Endsong (the answer is that they didn’t want Greg Land drawing them.) Personally, if I was an Avenger I’d be more worried about Scarlet Witch scanning, since she’s the reason everyone has been following Luke Cage around to fight ninjas for the past 10 years. Remember when she showed up at your front door the other day and everyone but the crying robot was like ‘come on in! we’re watching ‘Duck Dynasty!’

Not that I blame them.

Captain America checks in with Wolverine. This is a cool conversation. Wolverine’s got some deep seeded conflict in this thing, and it’s not just about WHICH SIDE HE’LL CHOOSE. He’s loved Jean ever since the X Men Animated Series said that he did and he’s not quite sure how to deal with this. I know that Wolverine sells books, but I wouldn’t mind seeing this battle being the final straw of him pulling out of both teams and going ronin for a bit in something Jason Aaron writes and Phil Noto draws.

On X Men Island, Cyclops is having a meeting about Hope with his trusted advisors: Magneto, Emma Frost, Namor, and…Colossus. Maybe Colossus just showed up and no one could really make him leave. Would you even try? He’s entered the ‘bald Kurt Angle is going to murder you’ phase of his super hero career. They have a big argument about Hope.

And then Captain America arrives, demanding to take Hope into custody. Down by some rocks on the shore. The drawbridge must have been up. Cyclops and Captain America have a very tense dick waving contest with each other. Cyclops optic blasts the guy and the Avengers get Assembled by decloaking above Utopia. A good cliffhanger moment that could have been great, except…

I hate the art. Even at his best, I don’t like Romita’s style on a mega power super hero book like The Avengers. He’s a gritty Kick Ass and Daredevil kind of guy. I don’t think he works on a book like this. On top of that, it seems like he slept walked through this book. There are some panels in AvX #1 that I’m shocked no one handed back to Romita like Lumberg in Office Space going ‘yeeeeah…you’re gonna have to come in on Sunday.’ There were drawings in this 3.99 ‘event of the decade’ book that belonged on a children’s menu/activity page at a Denny’s. Though I didn’t like Fear Itself, it was a gorgeous book. It was Stuart Immomen at his best. Give him that AvX spot. Hell, beg Joe Mad to do it. But Romita’s drawing like he’s ready to hang it up. Pair him with Chris Claremont on a ‘Forever’ book and call it a day.

Can you find where John Romita Jr. stopped caring?

Overall, Bendis’ writing saves Romita’s art. Are they cycling through different creative teams on this thing? I hope so, because I really can’t look at Romita’s Spider Woman anymore. Despite enjoying the writing, with a separate ‘vs.’ book coming out, I can’t help but think that AvX is just going to be random panels that link to other books you have to buy to get any fleshed out story, like Fear Itself was. Fingers crossed that I’m wrong, and that Bendis delivers an equally strong issue #2.

Disney has set a release date for the sequel to Captain America: The First Avenger and that date is April 4, 2014. As we reported earlier Marvel Studios is still trying to narrow down its list of directors. According to Disney, the sequel will pick up where The Avengers leaves off, with Cap struggling to come to grips with his place in modern society. And we’re guessing that Hydra and (hopefully) The Red Skull won’t be helping things none! Now what about some Baron Zemo or Arnim Zola!?! Or how about “The Artist”s Jean Dujardin as Batroc The Leaper?!?

For awhile now, we’ve known that Marvel Studios has begun preliminary plans for their post Avengers movie line-up. Iron Man 3 is already confirmed for 2013, as is Thor 2. But there are still two untitled movies set for 2014 from Marvel. One is rumored to be a brand new property (probably Dr. Strange, possibly Ant-Man) and now it looks like the other is going to be Captain America 2. Vulture.com has released a shortlist of contenders Marvel is looking at for the directing gig, and oddly enough, original Captain America director Joe Johnston is nowhere to be found.

So far, this is who Marvel seems to be warming up to the most: George Nolfi, the writer-director of The Adjustment Bureau; F. Gary Gray, director of the American remake of The Italian Job, and the real surprise here, Anthony and Joe Russo, from television’s Community and Arrested Development. According to the original article, Marvel studio chief Kevin Fiege is said to be a ‘vibe guy; He likes to see if he gets along with people before he’ll decide about spending the next two years with them. And apparently, they hit it off with Kevin in the room.”  So in a nutshell,  it comes down to who’ll come cheap and not get on Feige’s nerves for any extended period of time.

Seems strange that Marvel wouldn’t even approach Joe Johnston, who most agree did a great job and nailed the whole World War II period vibe of the first movie. But maybe Marvel is just being cheap again; Johnston would no doubt want a substantial raise, and Marvel is going to have to pay Robert Downey Jr a lot of money to come back for Avengers 2, as he only signed for Iron Man 2, 3 and Avengers after the massive success of the first Iron Man movie. And unlike directors like Joe Johnston or actors like Terrance Howard and even Edward Norton, RDJ can’t be replaced. So maybe Marvel is gonna start saving their pennies, and this might be phase one of that.

Today on the official Avengers Twitter, they announced the official soundtrack for the movie. Here it is below.

A weird combination of 2000 era bands. I am having flashbacks from middle school looking at this list. Which I believe was their thinking putting this group together. It was a emotional attempt to bring the people my age who aren’t into comics to check this movie out, as the soundtrack is aptly titles “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE”. Is this really the best AVENGERS OF MUSIC they could think of?

The same day also marks the release of the Score written by Alan Silvestri.

 

Many comics fans know Scott Shaw! (yes, the exclamation point is part of his name) as the iconic artist for “Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew” from DC Comics.  Animation fans know him as the producer of Saturday Morning’s “Camp Candy” and “The Completely Mental Adventures of Ed Grimley.”  Breakfast Cereal fans know him as the long-standing art director for the advertising for Post Cereals Fruity Pebbles and Coco Pebbles cereals.

Scott Shaw! is also the world-renowned expert on Oddball Comics.  For years, Scott collected and blogged about the weirdest of the weird in comics.  He also brought his Oddball Comics collection to comic cons all over the country and presented slide shows of the most amazingly bizarre comics in history to the delight of audiences!

If you’re a Southern California Resident, you’re in luck.   Starting April 7 and through the Month of May, every Saturday at 8PM, Scott is showing off his Oddball Comics, complete with his own wry and hilarious insight on the wackiness of the comics in a theater in Hollywood.

The Oh My Ribs Theater (Hey, I didn’t name it) in Hollywood is hosting Scott’s show every Saturday at 8PM.  If you like comics, if you dig comedy, if you aren’t opposed to laughing, check out the show.  Tickets are available at the theater’s website.  Buy your tickets HERE!

(Scott Shaw can also be heard on Geekscape’s own FANDOM PLANET podcast that you can listen to on iTunes)

I know that you’ve read a ton of other articles about fights people want to see in Avengers vs. X Men. And I know that you’ve been bored by them. Captain America and Cyclops? Meh. Rogue vs. Iron Man? Pfft. Red Hulk vs. Armor and Surge…? Acceptable. With fights that bland, I can’t believe Marvel hasn’t been purchased by Dreamwave yet.

There are a lot of battles I’m dreaming of that Marvel just doesn’t have the courage to give us. So here, in no particular order, are most of them.

 Decade Late Battle of the Decade: 

Gambit vs. 90’s Thor

Remy Lebeau: The poster child of 90’s Marvel. He’s still wearing that damn coat and that black and purply armor/jumpsuit thing and he’s still throwing cards. He couldn’t be anymore 90’s if he was throwing Wildstorm cards.

But the Son of Odin shant let the X Men own the 90’S! It’s time for Thor to pay his storage unit a visit and fish out the STRAPS! CHAINS! BELLY SHIRT! SHOULDER PADS! Whoever wields this dick armor, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!

Projected winner: Gambit is shattered into a pile of Phalanx Covenant hologram covers when he tries to hit Thor in the junk with his staff.

By the Order of Agent Henry Peter Gyrich:

Token Black Guy Battle Royale

Storm. Black Panther. Bishop. Falcon. That smart kid from New X Men that lost his powers. Patriot. Black Widow. Black Knight. Black Tom Cassidy. Throughout the years, a respectable handful of black superheroes have either protected a world that hated and feared them or served as one of earth’s mightiest heroes.

But heads up, true believers: after AvX every spot for an African American hero is being taken up by a different Spider-Man costume variation, and according to Gyrich, the Avengers and X Men will share one only black person between the two teams.

Projected winner: Krystalin from X Men 2099 wins the spot. Black Panther stops hanging out in New York all the time and remembers to run that country that he’s the king of.

The Real McCoy:

X Men Beast vs. Avengers Beast

One 3.99 22 page comic of Hank McCoy sitting in his room making a pros and cons list about which team he should fight alongside. WRITTEN BY GRANT MORRISON.

Projected Winner: Whichever one makes him not look like a cat anymore.

Kid Gladiator vs. Everyone

I mainly just want to see Kid Gladiator beat the hell out of that dinosaur kid from Avengers Academy like a super strong Verne Gagne. Did you guys know that Kid Gladiator is the future of comics? Because he is.

Projected Winner: Kid Gladiator beats up the whole crossover, jumps to the New 52, and takes care of them, too. Broo helps.

The Chuck Austen Memorial Cage Match: 

Lionheart vs. Nurse Annie

If Lionheart wins, she gets to see her kids which she couldn’t do for some reason! If Annie wins, she…I guess she bangs Havok? And her son watches? Chuck Austen was weird.

Projected Winner: Chuck Austen, for me reminding everyone he existed for a paragraph.

Andy Kaufman InterGender

Championship Match: 

Hank Pym vs. Emma Frost

I just want to see Hank try and give Emma the Pym-Hand. She used to be a stripper. They know how to deal with dudes like that.

Projected winner: Emma Frost makes Pym sit on his hands by force.

The ‘I Know Now Why You Cry But It Is Something I Can Never Do’ Invitational Robot Fight: 

Vision vs. Danger

Maybe it’s because I was just writing about old Chuck Austen runs, but I hope Scarlet Witch falls in love with Danger.

Projected Winner: Vision is in control until Hugh Jackman figures out how to make Danger mimic his shadow boxing moves.

Avengers: Disassembled

vs. X Men: Disassembled

Bendis is leaving Avengers. We know this to be true. And we all know by now that his roadmap to a franchise’s success looks something like this:

1. Disassemble
2. Red Ninjas
3. Profit
4. Red Ninjas

Don’t think it’s not coming, X fans. Sure, they just schismed, but right after we had a Civil War we were Secretly Invaded, and then we faced Fear Itself like two days later. Somewhere in there, Spider-Man big-timed. X Men: Disassembled is coming for us and the mutants are going to have to prove that they can disassemble better than the Avengers.

This will be an uphill battle for the X Men. For one thing, they don’t assemble so I think they’ll have to call it X Men: Disuncannied. I hope Bendis just makes X Men: Disuncannied Pixie’s fault so we can get rid of her.

Projected Winner: Bendis gets five more years of glory when The Hood relocates The Hand to San Francisco.

Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax

Not even fighting anyone. I just want them around more.

Projected Winner: Everyone that buys The Adventures of Kid Gladiator Featuring Johnny Guitar and Dr. Sax #1, the MAJOR new ongoing series spinning out of the pages of AvX written by Dan Slott and Jason Aaron with art by Stuart Immonen!  Special back up story: BROO MEETS PRESIDENT OBAMA!

Joe Starr is the host of GEEKSCAPE PRESENTS, our monthly free live comedy show. The next one is April 3 and you can learn all about it HERE.

With an announced sequel to X Men: First Class, and the rumors of a rebooted 1960’s Fantastic Four, retro Marvel is officially IN. This has led Geekscape to wonder: what if different Marvel franchises had actually been released in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s?

Or, maybe you think it’s stupid to cast a Marvel movie in a different decade, justify the lineup, and pitch a plot. Well, that’s why we at Geekscape consider ourselves to be heroes, in a way. We waste our time doing the stupid things the world is afraid to do. Last time, we shook the 90’s to their very core with a 1994 X Men film. Time to step back a decade!

THE 80’S: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

The Pitch: After a battle to take down Ultron results in an absurd amount of collateral damage, the Avengers reluctantly agree to accept government oversight in the form of Henry Gyrich. The Vision attempts to bring stability to the world by taking control of its computer systems, but is being manipulated by Ultron! It’s the Avengers vs. a Vision-Ultron-Skynet! Will the Avengers prevail? Meanwhile, a young Wanda Maximoff is taken in by the team and falls for the android! Can Scarlet Witch use the human power of love to bring Vision to his senses? And when she does, can the song ‘Power of Love’ play? When I think Avengers, I think Huey Lewis. And his news.

CAPTAIN AMERICA

In the 80’s, there was only one man that could sling the shield. The only man that John Connor trusted enough to go back in time and bang his mom: Michael Biehn. He is the unsung action hero badass of the 80’s and also The Rock from the 90’s. I mean the movie The Rock. He wasn’t The Rock, though I can still smell what he was cooking. Come on. Picture him doing that monologue to Ed Harris from The Rock in Cap’s costume and you will get a nerd boner.

Don’t fight it. It’s natural.

IRON MAN

Avengers Assemble? AS YOU WISH. Cary Elwes would have been an awesome Tony Stark back in the day. The wit, the arrogance, and the massive amount of girls wanting to bang him. Plus, most of the Dread Pirate Robert’s lines could probably double as Stark lines, so we save on screenwriters. That way in the spin off we get to see Iron Man challenge the Mandarin to a fight to the pain.

GYRICH

I’m doing my best to justify a Henry Gyrich in every decade I cast a movie in. Charlie Chaplin will end up playing him by the end of this. But before the Dictator gets his shot, the role belongs to John Ritter. Ritter’s been killing it on Three’s Company and it’s time to show his range as a greasy, back stabbing government yes man! This could be his ‘Razor’s Edge!’

THE VISION

I wish there was a guy we could call that does robots good…

SCARLET WITCH

Mia Sara! Too young? No way. It takes a dumb teenage girl to fall deeply in love with a robot, and Mia Sara’s career has been built on poor romantic choices: first Tom Cruise in Legend, and then Ferris Bueller, a husband who no doubt will eventually look into a camera and say ‘who could be faithful on a day like this?’ Mia has a perfect wide eyed spaciness for a young woman struggling with chaos magic. Is it chaos magic? I’m really not sure at this point.  THANKS BENDIS.

Besides, no one complained when two teenage boys fell in love took a shower with Lisa in Weird Science. There’s no room for your double standards in THE AVENGERS.


One more for the road.

ULTRON

Next.

BEAST

Photobucket

Like, Jeff Bridges, man! Change him out of the Tron suit and put some blue fur on the guy. The Beast abides, man. The Beast abides.

HAWKEYE

PhotobucketSomething something winning something something dismissive wank. Charlie is a bad ass, and if you remember Hot Shots Part Deux (AND YOU SHOULD) you will remember that he is also dry and hilarious. He’ll also be perfect as part of our important subplot I just figured out: That Hawkeye hates young cocky scientist Hank Pym for having Janet, and is going to murder him when the hitting starts. And you know the hitting will start.

YELLOWJACKET

PhotobucketAnd when I think of hitting women, I think of Rob Lowe. A dashing scientist, inventor of size changing stuff, and a Duke Silver level saxophone player, Lowe has all the tools needed to play a sleazy piece of shit that needs some redemption. Literally, my favorite person for this role.

I CAN’T DEAL WITH INVENTING ULTRON! JUST LET ME ROCK THE PAIN AWAY!

THE WASP

PhotobucketJanet needs to be someone you really, really want to bang and really, really hate Hank Pym for being able to bang. I’m going with Demi Moore to keep the Brat Pack repping in this summer blockbuster. And it’s not so much that Demi would be an awesome person to hit, but she could sell a backhand super good. Just thinking about it makes me want to kill Rob Lowe.

WONDER MAN

PhotobucketMy understanding of Wonder Man isn’t the best, but based on the pre Secret Invasion Mighty Avengers, he’s a smug hacky actor turned super hero and I think he should be Kurt Russell. Please refer yourself to Jack Burton. Clean yourself up, and then see him in Sky High. And then clean yourself up. What? That Scott Pilgrim chick was in it.

DIRECTOR

Every movie needs a director (Except for the three Transformers films and anything I shoot of myself crying). The insane amount of androids and evil AI points to Ridley Scott for this thing. He’s the obvious choice for this epic, and while my heart says John Carpenter, my mind is keeping it Ridley.

Next time: It’s Warren Ellis’ Thunderbolts… 70’s grindhouse style!

This year at Wondercon’s Marvel TV Panel, Jeph Loeb brought the goods.

Among the announcements, the Marvel Universe block will debut on Disney XD on Sunday, April 1st.

The block will kick off with the premiere of Ultimate Spider-Man and the season 2 premiere of Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, as well as a number of different extras, including Joe Q art classes, Fury Files on different Marvel characters, and Marvel Mash Up Shorts.

Marvel Mash Up shorts are re-dubbed clips of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends written by the creators of Harvey Birdman and Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. Several were shown, and were very funny. The highlight had to be Red Skull arguing with his henchmen about who broke their new flat-screen television.

Eventually, the Marvel Universe Block will expand with the help of the newly announced Marvel Animation Studio, headed by Eric Radomski (Batman: The Animated Series, Spawn).

Currently in development at M.A.S. (or ‘mas marvel’ as Loeb called it) is the action epic Hulk and the Agents of SMASH. Test animation featured Hulk, She Hulk, Rulk, Skaar, and a Hulky Rick Jones code named A-Bomb fighting massive tanks spliced with ‘talking heads’ type footage from each character.

Panel attendees were treated with a screening of the Ultimate Spider-Man trailer, written by Paul Dini (Batman: The Animated Series). The pilot revolves around Spider-Man weighing an offer to receive SHIELD training from Nick Fury with plenty of plotting by Norman Osbourne, who wants Spider-Man’s DNA to sell spider soldiers to the military.

The show moved quickly, and told Spidey’s origins in flashbacks as the information was required. It contained plenty of “cut-to humor” and voice over, feeling like a mix of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Avatar: The Last Airbender with Marvel characters. JK Simmons voices J. Jonah, and Clark Greg will be playing Agent Coulsen. Stan Lee rounds out the supporting cast as Stan the Janitor.

After the pilot, Loeb wasn’t done. We also got a Season 2 sizzle reel of Earth’s Mightiest Avengers, as well as the Season 2 premiere! I won’t spoil anything here, but here are some keywords: Kang! Kree! Skrull! Baxter Buildings! Poker games! DOOM!

The status quo has long been that DC rules animation while Marvel owns the big screen, but with guys like Paul Dini at the wheel, and from what we saw at the panel, Marvel looks to be stepping up their game in a big way.

After a few Michael Bay-esque trailers and that poster with the 9 ft. tall Captain America that pissed off the entire internet, the Japanese prove once again that when it comes to stuff, nobody does it better than they do.

The Japanese trailer for Joss Whedon’s Avengers movie not only features a lot more footage than we’ve seen so far, but some dialogue from How I Met Your Mother’s Cobie Smulders (aka Almost-Whedon’s-Wonder-Woman, aka Agent Maria Hill in this movie, aka Agent Robin Sparkles).

"Let's go save the world... TODAY!"

The build up is better, the dialogue is more carefully chosen and the payoff shows more of the team fighting actual villains instead of making it look like the culmination of half a decade of superhero movies equals The Avengers fighting a bunch of explosions for 2 hours.

And as an added bonus, you actually hear Scarlett Johansson talking! And here she pulls off the opposite of what most actresses known for being hot would and reminds us that we actually like her when she talks (and that she’s the cool chick from Ghost World and Lost in Translation).

The Avengers comes out on May 4th — a day I’m already looking forward to more than I am my firstborn’s graduation day (cause that little non-existent bastard has to start pulling his/her weight around here). Check out the Nerdgasmic trailer by clicking here.

*Jumps up and down flashing the peace sign*

The new Avengers trailer has premiered over at Apple and it helps a lot. You see more of the Avengers being put together and you get a few more shots of the alien ships (although still no obvious signs as to who the bad guys Loki has hired are).

What do you guys think? Any guesses? I do know now that the bad guys do have a giant Transformers 3 worm!

Check out the new trailer here on Apple!

Updated with an embed from our friends at JoBlo!

For the past eight years, since the end of Marvel’s original Avengers comic in Avengers Disassembled, the chief architect and writer for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes has been Brian Michael Bendis. Late last year, Bendis announced that after this summer’s upcoming Avengers Vs. X-Men mini-series, he would be leaving the Avengers franchise behind.  And now Bleeding Cool has the scoop on what he’s doing next: Bendis is jumping ship to the X-Men titles.

This isn’t confirmed yet of course, but Bleeding Cool has a pretty damn good track record with this kind of stuff (they broke Before Watchmen almost a full two years ago.) And there are no details as to what exactly the Bendis lead X-Men books would entail. It was less than a year ago that the Schism storyline happened, resulting in two separate branches of the team, one lead by Wolverine and one led by Cyclops, and both books have barely had any time to enjoy this new status quo. I hope Bendis doesn’t give us “X-Men: Disassembled” or something, because technically we just had that. In any event, We likely won’t see any of these Bendis X-Books till 2013 anyway, as he isn’t leaving the Avengers books till the end of this year. Plenty of time to speculate on whether or not Bendis will reveal that Luke Cage is really a mutant and make him an X-Man.

With an announced sequel to X Men: First Class, and the rumors of a rebooted 1960’s Fantastic Four, retro Marvel is officially IN. This has led Geekscape to wonder: what if different Marvel franchises had actually been released in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s?

Or, maybe you think it’s stupid to cast a Marvel movie in a different decade, justify the lineup, and pitch a plot. Well, that’s why we at Geekscape consider ourselves to be heroes, in a way. We waste our time doing the stupid things the world is afraid to do.

 The 90’s: THE X MEN

It’s 1994. X Men: The Animated Series is wildly popular, and the X Men are settling in as the most popular comic franchise of the decade. A movie spinning out of the popular Jim Lee designs of the animated series using its lineup has to happen. It just makes sense- why wait until 2000? It is only logical that the Uncanny X Men join the film legacy of 1994: The Flintstones. The Mask. Speed. Star Trek: Generations. Speed. Speed.

The pitch: All has been quiet in the mutant world since Magneto exiled himself to Asteroid M. Government tensions are at an all time high with the self appointed savior of mutantkind in orbit. The uneasy peace is shattered when Magneto is approached by The Acolytes and their leader Fabian Cortez, who manipulates Magneto and his followers into a declaration of war against the surface! And Gyrich is there, too! The only ones that can prevent a third world war? THE X MEN! Dwee do do be dooooo do do! Dwee do do be dooooooo do da! X MEN THEME SONG.

And who will play the mutants in a world that hates and fears them?

CHARLES XAVIER

Morgan Freeman? Are you crazy? SUCK IT, WORLD, YOU’RE CRAZY. There’s more to Xavier than being a bald white guy. He’s also wise, inspiring, and got his start doing Listerine commercials. Fresh out of The Shawshank Redemption, Freeman brings the cred as the telepathic founder of the X Men. Plus, it’s at least 30% appropriate that one half of Marvel’s civil rights metaphor is actually black. At least.

MAGNETO

Magneto. The exiled mutant leader and Holocaust survivor. Powerful. Intelligent. Charismatic. Handsome enough that Rogue constantly wants to bang him. Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldum you say? Don’t mind if I do. “Sure John, but at Disney, the Pirates of the Caribbean didn’t come to life and use their magnet powers to kill the flatscans.” Words we can all live by.

SCOTT SUMMERS

Val Kilmer. The man who would be Bruce Wayne would make a much better Scott Summers. Stoic. Serious. Handsome. He will be your wingman anytime. I can’t think of anyone in 1994 better groomed to lead the X Men into battle. Except maybe Zero Cool from Hackers. I thought long and hard on that one. Heh. Long. Hard. 90’s humor.

JEAN GREY

The woman who would be the weird character who wanted to bang Bruce Wayne. If Nicole Kidman could put up with Tom Cruise, she can deal with the enormous pressures of the Phoenix. And she can totally pull off constant fainting and shouting ‘Scott!’ and ‘Logan!’ That’s probably the audition. “Slate please. Now look right off camera here and shout ‘Scott.’ Thank you, you’ll hear from us soon.”

FABIAN CORTEZ

Is Michael Wincott super Fabian Cortezy? Possibly not. But was he the awesome bad guy in The Crow? Fuck yes he was. Can you see him being Jeff Goldblum’s right hand man and then (1991 spoiler alert) turning on him? Yes. Yes you can.

GYRICH

Gary Oldman. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, High Ranking Racist Pentagon Official.

STORM

Angela Bassett. Originally Vivica Fox, but we’ve really got to make some tough decisions about who could eventually look better with a mohawk in 1995’s sequel X Men and Jubilee (played by Angels in the Outfield’s Joseph Gordon Levitt).

ROGUE

Perhaps it’s just because I’m the president of the ‘this chick deserved a better career’ club, but Rogue goes to Kari Wuhrer. You know her from 8 Legged Freaks and Command and Conquer: Red Alert. I know her from pictures on AOL when I was becoming a man. And what stronger choice to make for the woman who can’t touch anyone than a woman that a 6th grader really, really wants to touch? It’s poetic and artistic. Like something Alan Moore would write. You guys know Alan Moore? He’s the greatest writer of all time. And he would love this movie. I’m 70% sure of that.

BEAST

James Spader was crushing the sci fi world as the geek that can also kick ass if he has to in STARGATE. Put blue fur on this man immediately! Fun fact: I bet they could have made him look better in 1994 than they did in X Men: First Class. BURN.

WOLVERINE

The Quick and the Dead’s Russell Crowe. He’s the best at what he does. And what he does is throw phones at people in 15 years.

GAMBIT

Cut from the film. Special effects weren’t available in 1994 to replicate his accent properly.

Editor’s Note: Screw you, Joe! You don’t want Van Damme in ANYTHING (except you)! And where’s my Brian “The Boz” Bosworth as Colossus?!?

HAVOK

Come on, how is this not better than Gambit? Rogue can fall in love with him AND he’s the angry younger brother of the team leader. And if the 90’s taught us anything, no one plays ‘angry young brother of the team leader’ better than CHRISTIAN SLATER. This really makes me wish that his character in Pump Up The Volume was actually Alex Summers and at the end his power manifests and he blows up all those FCC trucks. And then he yells ‘Stay hard!’

So who would direct this all out 90s X-Fest? How about a director who spent the end of the 80s making kick ass action film after kick ass action film?

KICK ASS 90s DIRECTOR

John McTiernan made Predator in 1987, Die Hard in 1988 and The Hunt for Red October in 1990. On top of his game, he then made the critical Sean Connery bomb Medicine Man in 1992 and broke Arnold’s hot streak with Last Action Hero in 1993. Ouch. We’d rewrite history to have McTiernan making an X-Men movie for 1994 instead during these dark years before he made Die Hard: With a Vengeance in 1995. How’s that for a career save? We can’t help him with 2002’s Rollerball though…

Well, we’ve learned a lot about me with this one. Mainly, that I wrote more about Kari Wuhrer than Gary Oldman, so I guess we get my priorities. Next week we’re turning the clock another ten years back to avenge the Reagan era! I want my where’s the beef! Members Only Jackets Assemble! I’m casting an 80’s Avengers movie.

On February 6th, 2012, Columbia Pictures organized a special multi-city sneak peak of brand new footage and a cast and director Q and A to promote this summer’s Amazing Spider-Man! Of course, Jonathan and William Bibbiani were there! In this special mini-Geekscape, Jonathan and William give you their thoughts on the new footage, the difference between this Spider-Man and Sam Raimi’s and what they think this means for this superhero summer of movies! SPOILERS (OF COURSE)!

Find it on iTunes

In the Summer of 1958 Jack Cole, syndicate cartoonist, playboy gag artist, comic book pioneer, husband and friend to many, was discovered in his car by three local boys with a severe self inflicted head wound. An hour later at the hospital, he would be announced dead. An earlier phone call in the day, and two letters he wrote (one to Hugh Heffner, and the other to his wife) leave no doubt that Cole had chosen to take his own life. The reasons for this choice, to this day, are still only known to one person, his widow. Cole, has been remembered by comic history as a pioneer, both for his creation of Plastic Man, and his Playboy illustrations. In recognition of his accomplishments he has been recognized in the Eisner Hall of Fame. While at the surface, this seems like a sad end to an ordinary life, in reality, like his most famous creation, Cole’s life was by far less than ordinary.

Cole was born in New Castle, Pennsylvania and grew up in a large family with five other siblings. With a family of this size, money was always tight. To follow his dream, Cole would secretly save what money he could, and spend it on mail order lessons. In between waiting for these packages he would ape the gags and strips that he would find in the local paper. Cole’s dedication to practicing his art resulted in steady improvement. This is not the only time that Cole would show his ability to be intensely determined in pursuing his goals.

At the age of 17, wanting to see the Olympics, but having no way to get to L.A., he would convince his parents to let him bike from New Castle, PA to California. Once getting there, he found that he didn’t have enough money for admission to any of the events. Despite the set back, Cole never regretted this trip, and eventually published this story in Boy’s Life. This would be his first published work.

Once Cole was with done school, he continued to work on his goal of becoming a comic artist. By day he would work in a can factory, and by night he would draw and submit his work to various publishers/studios. Eventually he would find himself living in Greenwhich Village, working full time at what could best be described as a comic factory. During this period in comic history, comic books were often nothing more then a collection of newspaper comic strips printed in a magazine format. When publishers couldn’t find strips to reprint, they’d hire ‘factories’ to make cheap knock-offs of the popular panel strips of the era. Cole’s long days of copying his favourite strips from his local papers paid off for him, as he easily excelled at the job. While not entirely excited by this work, Cole was making a modest living. This would change in 1938 however, when a book called Action Comics was released. The Golden Age of comics had arrived, and it forever changed how comics were viewed.

All of a sudden there was a demand for original stories and people wearing bright colorful costumes. For artists like Cole, who were desperately seeking a creative outlet, and a desire not to be confined by ‘the traditional’ comic strip reprint book, this change was truly a breath of fresh air. After doing a few traditional hero books, Cole soon found himself working on the anthology book called Police Comics. It is here that he would introduced a character that would become his lasting mark on comicdom: Plastic Man.

With its disregard for many of the story telling conventions of the period, Plastic Man found itself becoming the lead feature in Police Comics. Plastic Man was one of the first heroes who was not confined to the typical human body; he could stretch, change shapes, and bring in elements of abstract and surrealist art, all while not disrupting the narrative. At the peak of the book’s popularity, Cole was making a page rate of $35 ($305 in 2006 dollars), and received a $2,500 ($21,805 in 2006 dollars) bonus if an issue sold over 200,000 copies. Working on a Plastic Man solo book, and a Plastic Man lead story in Police Comics, Cole was making more money they he ever imagined. No longer was he struggling to make ends meet, and instead, he found himself buying various properties, including a fourteen room mansion. He had come a long way from his humble beginings in New Castle. Despite this success, Cole was starting to feel artistic burnout. Each month, he was struggling more and more with the deadlines. It was becoming clear to Cole that it was time to move on.

As Cole’s interest waned, the interest of Dr. Wertham and The Senate rose. After Wertham and The Senate were done with comics, even if Cole had wanted to continue working, it would be virtually impossible to find a job that paid the money he had grown accustomed to. Furthermore, Cole found his name and work dragged through the mud during the hearings, as a short story he did in True Crime Comics became one of the centre pieces of the trials. The short story written and drawn by Cole, entitled, “Murder, Morphine and Me”, graphically depicted a woman having a needle placed in her eye, a central image used in the hearings. While it was not solely his work that caused the hearings to occur, it became one of the faces of the problem. Cole would never work in the traditional comic book market again. Even if he did, he would no longer find the freedom that he had grown accustomed to.

In the final eight years of his life, Cole, under the pen name of Jake, would find work with a new men’s magazine called Playboy. His single panel gags proved so popular, that ‘Jake’ was the first permanent artist for Playboy, and would produce at least one gag panel per issue for the remainder of his life. The style that Cole used here was a departure from his previous comic work. In fact, Hugh Heffner, a fan of Jack Cole’s Plastic Man, did not believe that this was the same man he had working for him. Cole’s work for Playboy would later be reprinted as a set of bar napkins, and became the second piece of merchandise produced by Playboy (the first being a set of cufflinks with the familiar bunny logo). It was also during this later period of his career that he would show a third artistic style.

Once again, using his birth name of Jack Cole, Cole started producing his own three panel newspaper comic strip, entitled Betsy and Me. By the time of his death, Betsy and Me, was syndicated in 50 papers nationwide and was slowly, steadily finding an audience. Jack had fulfilled a childhood dream.

Then it all ended.

Cole had a very full life, but I can’t help but wonder how else he could have influenced the comic art world if he had lived another fifty, ten or even five years. How would Cole have responded to the love that people show towards his work and creations today? How would he have reacted to being entered in the Jack Kirby Hall of Fame in 1991, and later the Will Eisner Hall of Fame in 1999? Would he have been inspired by Eisner, and done an original graphic novel about his 1932 bike ride? How would he have reacted to the Silver Age? Would he have participated in it? Would he be angry at Marvel for the common likeness shared between Mr. Fantastic and Plastic Man?

Much like the reasons that led Jack Cole to take his own life, we will never have answers to these questions. In place of these answers we are left a full body of work, by a man who lived a short life.

If your interested further, please check out the excellent biography of Jack Cole, entitled “Jack Cole and Plastic Man” by Art Spiegelman and Chip Kidd.