Momentum, releasing this weekend and starring Olga Kurylenko (Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol), James Purefoy (Rome), and Morgan Freeman (Like Everything Ever), is Campanelli’s directorial debut, but I wouldn’t call him a rookie. The Montreal native worked with Clint Eastwood for twenty years, starting with The Bridges of Madison County until American Sniper. You don’t work with someone like Eastwood for twenty years without picking up a thing or two.

“I mean learned everything from him, pretty much,” Campanelli explained. “He’s such an amazing director and he’s such a powerful story teller and that’s what I learned.”

Momentum entered production halfway through Eastwood’s American Sniper. “When I was leaving, he gave me words of advice. He said, ‘Just make sure you have a great script and you’ve got a great cast and you’ve got a great crew. That’s 90% of your job this time. Once you’ve got that…’ Then he paused. ‘Oh yeah, don’t forget you have to get a great caterer, because the crew needs to eat.’ Yeah.” I hear Campanelli laugh.

“People gotta eat!” I tell him.

“People have to eat and if it’s crap they’ll complain and if it’s good they’ll be on your side. So that was part of it. He’s got a great sense of humor, but what I learned the gentle nature of working with the cast. He empowers them, which a lot of directors don’t do. A lot of directors I find intimidate their cast and then the cast get a little on edge. He likes to create a very natural for the cast.”

Momentum, shot in South Africa for a modest $20 million, stars Olga Kurylenko as Alexis Farraday, a hotshot heist specialist caught in a game of cat and mouse with a ruthless assassin (James Purefoy) and his team of guns working for one of the most powerful men in the United States. Seeking revenge against the assassin for the death of her friends, Alexis sets out to uncover the truth and make it out alive.

I interviewed Momentum‘s director about his first time sitting behind the camera as a director armed with his visual instinct to create what I think is one of the most arresting indie action movies of the year.

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Geekscape: What made you choose an action movie for your directorial debut? Because actions movies are very complicated to craft. So what made you take it on, on your first go?

Campanelli: Yeah, in hindsight, it maybe wasn’t the wisest decision but I always jump in feet first. I never shy away from the battle or a challenge. So when I read the script, obviously I went, “Wow, there’s a lot of action. There’s a lot of stuff that happens here.” I am a big fan of the genre, so I was like, “Wow, I’ve watched so many of these over the years, now I get to do one.”

So I am very, very blessed and I thought, “Well I might as well jump in and I got to work with one of my best friends.” He’s a photographer, Glenn McPherson. He’s done a bunch of big budget action movies and I thought, ” Wow, this guy will help me a lot too.”

Being on set for 25 years and doing a mixture of all these Clint Eastwood movies, action movies and all sorts of genres, I was kind of prepared for it, because I kind of knew where to put the camera and I think a lot of directors don’t come from a camera back ground or a very visual background. So I would rehearse with the stunt coordinators. I would say, “So what’s going to happen here?” Then they would tell me and I would say,”Okay great.”

I just instantly knew where to put the camera, so it wasn’t like… I’ve been on sets with newer directors, that have no clue where to put the camera and either I would suggest or the director’s photographer will. I was kind of doing it on my own, “Lets put one here, another here, here.” We used go-pros and stuff, because it was action. The more coverage you got the better and the more dynamic it will be. I got very lucky with an incredible editor, Dubbie White, really made this film another dimension. He was so incredible. I just thought, “I’m going to jump in and do it.” I did.

You said your camera background allowed you to know, way ahead of time, where to put the camera. How else did your cinematography background influence you?

Campanelli: So as I read scripts in general, I’m always picturing the theme itself and I kind of picture where the camera is going. So I was very well prepared in production and all the texts counts and meetings with the crew. I told them exactly where I was going to put the camera. Even though, it was invisible space, so there was nothing there. I was like,” So I’m going to put this here. This is going to here. The guy is going to stand here.” So I was very good at that and I would say as a camera operator, but more so as a director, because no one is going to ever read the script, that I read and the cast read and all of that.

So my job as a director, especially, is to take those words off the page and put them on the screen. So the audience, that’s never going to read the script understands what we all went thought reading it, like the emotions and the visual nature of it. So as a camera operator, that kind of prepared me, because I do that all the time, is I take a camera and point it in the direction of a story and let it come to provision.

But obviously as a camera operator, I don’t get a lot the decisions of the performance and things like that. That’s the director’s job. I definitely enjoyed the extra aspect of working with the cast, getting the nuance of performances and just being able to tell the story in a more direct way, from being a camera operator, but that definitely helped me out. Also coming from the crew, I know what the crew goes through in making a movie. It’s not easy, it’s hard. So I definitely wanted to empower my crew and to really say, “Hey, were all part of this movie. Let’s make this together.” And we did. I was very fortunate of a great crew.

You mentioned Clint Eastwood likes to craft a particular atmosphere on set in order to achieve the best performances out of his actors. Do you do that as well?

Campanelli: I’ve done that as a camera operator too. I create like a nice cocoon for the actors of protection, of giving them judgement on their performance sometimes or just that I got the shot, so I know what I’m doing technically. So don’t feel afraid of screwing up a take, because I’ll get it, but if you give me a good performance I’ll make sure we have it and it’s not ruined. I think some camera people sometimes, “Oh I didn’t get that one.” And it was their performance of a lifetime. I’ve learned that from set too, because we shoot all the rehearsals, mostly on the first takes. So we have to be really prepared, so does the cast. So we all rise to the occasion and the challenge. So far it has been working out great. I’m trying to follow in his footsteps.

Speaking of performances, you have a very interesting cast. Olga really stood out to me, as there are not enough action heroines in Hollywood. What can you tell about the creation of her character and what can you tell me about Olga’s performance?

Campanelli: Yeah, she did. It was amazing. Like you said earlier, I am a big fan of female heroine movies. I just love them. I think there needs to be more of them. I think they are so entertaining to watch and it’s like putting an ordinary person, into an extraordinary circumstance. I just love that kind of situation, because the audience puts themselves in that situation too. They’re like, “What would I do if that happened to me?” I just really, really love that.

Olga, I worked with her on a movie called Phantom Psychopath, a few years back. I was very charmed by her, obviously by her beauty, but also because she’s just a nice, gentle, warm person. I thought I’d really like to work with her someday, so I put her in my mental bank and thought, “Well if I get a movie…”

Olga Kurylenko stars as "Alex" in Stephen Campanelli's 'Momentum.'
Olga Kurylenko stars as “Alex” in Stephen Campanelli’s ‘Momentum.’ Courtesy of Starz Digital.

When I read the script it was funny, because she just came to life in it and I thought, “Oh my God, this would be perfect for her.” So luckily we got it to her and she liked it. She’s done a lot of diverse roles, but this was her first lead action-thriller and she couldn’t of been better. She was so I banged her up and bruised her and cut her and she was amazing. She was like, ” Look Steve what you did, I got a big bruise because of you.” And I’m like, “Well it was worth it, because you did a great job.” She did a lot of her own stunts. Obviously the super dangerous ones, she didn’t do, but she did do like 80 percent or 90 percent of her own stuff, because she wanted to and I wanted her to also. She was such a trooper. It was cold sometimes and she never complained. She was such a treat to work with and I would work with her on anything again.

I’d say with James Purefoy, too. He played such a great evil guy, but yet he’s just so charming. I saw him in The Following and said, ” That’s it, he’s my bad guy. We got to have him.” Luckily he agreed and we got him.

What can you tell me about working with Morgan Freeman?

Campanelli: I’ve done three movies with him as a camera operator and we’ve gotten along very well. We’ve became like friends and he said to me, “When you get a movie and you get to direct it. If you have a role for me, I’d love to do it.” I said, ” Okay great.” Then this came out and I read the part of the senator’s role and I went, “Oh my god, Morgan would be perfect for this.” Luckily he agreed to do it, so I was very blessed. I was like, “Wow, my first movie and I got three of these top notch actors. I’m really, really lucky.”

Was he intimidating at all, to coach on set or was he very approachable?

Campanelli: Morgan is very funny. He is very intimidating on set, but he is a practical joker. He loves to joke with you, so he will intimidate you, but in a funny way. In the first movie, I was so intimidated by him and I thought he didn’t like me, but he was doing the opposite. He was really liking me, because he was intimidating me so much. He enjoyed doing it. So knowing him all these years, I felt very comfortable around him around him. You could tell the crew was like, “Oh my God, that’s Morgan Freeman.”

He commands so much respect and he’s such a very talented actor. We were great. We were very comfortable around each other. I had some notes for him, he had a couple for me and we just collaborate great on everything. He was so incredible at his lines, he remembered everything instantly. He very rarely needs another take, unless we have a technical problem or he cracks a joke in the middle of something. It was a real treat to work with all three on this cast. Like I said earlier I am really lucky to have such a great cast for my first movie.

James Purefoy, in 'Momentum.'
James Purefoy, in ‘Momentum.’ Courtesy of Starz Digital.

James Purefoy as the villain, I agree he’s so charming, but he’s also, like, I just want to destroy him. He is so awful. He beats up a kid! What influenced that character? Was there anything from other books or movies that went into that character? Or was that just a perfect storm of you and James Purefoy putting your heads together?

Campanelli: Right, right. That’s a good question. It probably is an amalgamation of a lot of other bad guys. James put a lot into the character, in terms of being so prepared and have some really nice notes about his character. I trusted the simplicity in that. When I first met him, we talked about his character and I said, “You know you are very evil, but I still want to make you charming. That the audience can kind of secretly, in their subconscious, cheering for you.”

We hate him, but kind of want to be him sometimes too.

Campanelli: In real life he’s like that too. He’s so charming and he’s such a great guy personally, that it transfers to his characters. He was so great in Rome as Marc Anthony and everything he’s done is brilliant. So we collaborated the whole scene, like that interrogation scene, till the end. He and I collaborated for weeks on that, just trying to get the dialogue just right, just perfect for that scene. When we finished, we were both exhausted from working, but we’d get together and talk about it, try to make it great. I’m very, very proud of that scene. So it was just a really good mutual effort on our part.

One of the things that really sold me about Momentum, it happens right from that start when you have the robbers in the black suits and LED lights. They look like really evil Power Rangers.  How did those costumes come about? Who came up with that idea and why did you go there as opposed to just your traditional ski masks and what not?

Campanelli: You almost answered it. I didn’t want to do anything traditional. I didn’t want to ski masks. Of course you’ve seen the Point Break robbers, you’ve seen all these things. I just wanted something different.

I’m not a very good artist, but I was sketching what I wanted and I described to the costume designer and props people, what I wanted. With weeks of just sketches, things kind of came to that final costume. I said, “I want a little bit of steampunk, with the glasses kind of thing.” I wanted texture, so we found this neoprene, not a normal neoprene, we found something with texture. We found this other neoprene that had all these microscopic holes in it. The light will catch that hole. So I’m a very visual person, being from the camera department, so everything in that costume was for a visual reason. That’s why, I wanted to signify the different colors so we know who is who. We had the red, the green, the blue and the purple. So I wanted to make sure the audience to kind of knew who was seeing what, because all of their voices were very similar, with the voice box. That was the whole reason to hide Olga’s character, obviously.

That was in the script originally, with the voice boxes. I thought, “Let’s take it to the next level and make these guys creepy and scary. Let’s open the movie with a bang.” That was my whole thing. I really wanted the first five minutes to grab peoples attention and go for the ride for the whole 90 minutes.

You did. Like I said, I’m a total nerd and I thought, “These guys are like evil Power Rangers. This is awesome!”

Campanelli: That’s great, I’m glad you got that.

I understand that you want to turn Momentum this into a franchise. Hell, the word Momentum means to keep going.

Campanelli: To keep on going exactly.

Olga Kurylenko, in 'Momentum.'
Olga Kurylenko, in ‘Momentum.’ Courtesy of Starz Digital.

Where do you see the story going from here? [Warning: Spoilers!]

Campanelli: I don’t want to give away to much, but I definitely have some ideas for these people and Olga is so excited. She’s really hoping this movie does well, because she really wants to do a sequel too. She loved the character. It was a very sad day when we called a final wrap. It was a very tough movie physically. It was really hard to make, because we had a really short time to do all this action I wanted to do. I didn’t want to do anything cheaply. I really wanted to make things big. It was a small South African movie that I wanted to turn into a big Hollywood movie.

I think I achieved it, but the last thing we see is obviously is going off on the plane. Then I had an idea that she’s so great with getting away with things, that in the sequel, obviously it’s really easy to track a plane. Morgan Freeman’s character, the senator, can easy track the plane wherever it lands. They arrest her.

So I have an idea, where they would be flying, obviously, and she has that computer hacker guy sitting next to her. He hacks the plane, when another plane is crossing their airspace and basically now they are following the wrong plane. Then now they don’t know where Olga landed. That’s how the story would start. She’s in a different country right now. They raid the wrong plane. They go on board, they try and find her. She’s not there and that’s how that would start. Then after that I have some other ideas, but I don’t want to give to much away.

I’m hoping it does well. People should go see the movie to see where it goes next. Then we could increase Morgan’s character a lot more and really bring him into the fold. So I think it would be an exciting ride for all of us.

Momentum is out now in theaters, On Demand, and iTunes.

Way back in episode one I was joined by Matt to promote Team Goldie. Since appearing on the show he’s recorded the theme song to the podcast, made Team Goldie a full band, put Team Goldie on hold and formed a new band called Cassettes. We sit down talk about music, wrestling and Matt even performs an acoustic rendition of his song Morgan Freeman. The song can be found on Cassettes upcoming EP Stresslemania.

In the beginning of the episode I also talk about past (and future) guest Tommy Avallone’s new documentary I Am Santa Claus. Get a copy at www.iamsantaclausmovie.com

The song during the intro is There’s Just You by Brian Fitzy from his appearance in Episode 91

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Briefly: Following some interesting teasers (check them out here and here) and the film’s first trailer back in December, Paramount has just released the second trailer for The Dark Knight Rises cinematographer Wally Pfister’s directorial debut, Transcendence.

The newest preview is clearly similar to the trailer we’ve already seen, but it definitely expands on the “this is going too far” aspect of Depp’s, well, transcendence. The film features an all-star cast consisting of Johnny Depp, Kate Mara, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, and plenty of others, and everyone look well used in the picture. I really cannot wait to see this one.

Transcendence hits theatres on April 17th, and it’s definitely one to watch out for. Take a look at the preview below, and let us know what you think!

http://youtu.be/rD3OBtxNkW0

Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) is the foremost researcher in the field of Artificial Intelligence, working to create a sentient machine that combines the collective intelligence of everything ever known with the full range of human emotions. His highly controversial experiments have made him famous, but they have also made him the prime target of anti-technology extremists who will do whatever it takes to stop him.

 

However, in their attempt to destroy Will, they inadvertently become the catalyst for him to succeed—to be a participant in his own transcendence. For his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and best friend Max Waters (Paul Bettany), both fellow researchers, the question is not if they can… but if they should.

 

Their worst fears are realized as Will’s thirst for knowledge evolves into a seemingly omnipresent quest for power, to what end is unknown. The only thing that is becoming terrifyingly clear is there may be no way to stop him.

Briefly: After two days of interesting teasers (check them out here and here), Paramount has finally released the first theatrical trailer for The Dark Knight Rises cinematographer Wally Pfister’s directorial debut, Transcendence.

The trailer sets up an extremely intriguing plot for the film, and as expected from Pfister, everything looks gorgeous. The all-star cast of Johnny Depp, Kate Mara, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, and plenty of others look well used in the picture, and I really can’t wait to see more of this.

Transcendence hits theatres on April 17th, and it’s definitely one to watch out for. Take a look at the preview below, and let us know what you think!

Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) is the foremost researcher in the field of Artificial Intelligence, working to create a sentient machine that combines the collective intelligence of everything ever known with the full range of human emotions. His highly controversial experiments have made him famous, but they have also made him the prime target of anti-technology extremists who will do whatever it takes to stop him.

 

However, in their attempt to destroy Will, they inadvertently become the catalyst for him to succeed—to be a participant in his own transcendence. For his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and best friend Max Waters (Paul Bettany), both fellow researchers, the question is not if they can… but if they should.

 

Their worst fears are realized as Will’s thirst for knowledge evolves into a seemingly omnipresent quest for power, to what end is unknown. The only thing that is becoming terrifyingly clear is there may be no way to stop him.

Briefly: Just yesterday we showed you the first two teasers for The Dark Knight Rises cinematographer Wally Pfister’s directorial debut, Transendence, and today a third teaser has appeared online.

This teaser features a voiceover from actress Kate Mara, and plays off as much more of a warning than yesterday’s videos. Take a look at the teaser below, and let us know what you think!

Transcendence stars Johnny Depp, Kate Mara, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, and plenty of others, and hits theatres on April 18th, 2014!

Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) is the foremost researcher in the field of Artificial Intelligence, working to create a sentient machine that combines the collective intelligence of everything ever known with the full range of human emotions. His highly controversial experiments have made him famous, but they have also made him the prime target of anti-technology extremists who will do whatever it takes to stop him.

 

However, in their attempt to destroy Will, they inadvertently become the catalyst for him to succeed—to be a participant in his own transcendence. For his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and best friend Max Waters (Paul Bettany), both fellow researchers, the question is not if they can… but if they should.

 

Their worst fears are realized as Will’s thirst for knowledge evolves into a seemingly omnipresent quest for power, to what end is unknown. The only thing that is becoming terrifyingly clear is there may be no way to stop him.

Briefly: Warner Bros. today debuted the first two teaser trailers for The Dark Knight Rises cinematographer Wally Pfister’s directorial debut, Transcendence.

Today is actually the first time I’d heard of the film, but it’s easy to see from the teasers below (as well as the official plot synopsis) that Transendence is definitely one to watch out for. Take a look at everything below, and let us know what you think!

Transcendence stars Johnny Depp, Kate Mara, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, and plenty of others, and hits theatres on April 18th, 2014!

Dr. Will Caster (Johnny Depp) is the foremost researcher in the field of Artificial Intelligence, working to create a sentient machine that combines the collective intelligence of everything ever known with the full range of human emotions. His highly controversial experiments have made him famous, but they have also made him the prime target of anti-technology extremists who will do whatever it takes to stop him.

 

However, in their attempt to destroy Will, they inadvertently become the catalyst for him to succeed—to be a participant in his own transcendence. For his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) and best friend Max Waters (Paul Bettany), both fellow researchers, the question is not if they can… but if they should.

 

Their worst fears are realized as Will’s thirst for knowledge evolves into a seemingly omnipresent quest for power, to what end is unknown. The only thing that is becoming terrifyingly clear is there may be no way to stop him.

Despite being in the full swing of the summer blockbuster season, one less-than-typical big budget film to hit theatres this month is Louis Leterrier’s Now You See Me. Leterrier, who’s best known for his direction of Clash of the Titans and Transporter 1 & 2, gives a high octane dose of magic. This mystery-thriller surprisingly delivers enough action and energy to help warrant its “blockbuster” classification. Therefore, when you head to the theatre this summer seeking out the gaudiest box-office hits possible, writing off Now You See Me as a minuscule magic-centered movie simply means, the joke’s on you.

A quartet of extremely talented street-performing illusionists and mentalists (played by Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher and Dave Franco) are summoned together to accomplish some of the grandest feats in history. But after robbing millions of dollars from a Parisian bank as their Las Vegas stage finale (without ever leaving the room), the FBI must unravel how and why these magicians are up to no good. Yet, the closer agent Dylan Hobbs (Mark Ruffalo) and famed magic-debunker Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman) get to figuring it all out, the less they actually know.

NOW YOU SEE ME

Now You See Me is an above average thrill ride possessing a completely star-studded cast and a unique story. First and foremost, Jesse Eisenberg and Mark Ruffalo lead a superb collection of new and old Hollywood greats. Legends such as Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and the always amazing Woody Harrelson cross talents with a newer generation of stars. The result is a set of wonderfully branded characters that undoubtedly raise Now You See Me to the next level. While Eisenberg and Ruffalo lead the way, Harrelson offers his usual scene-stealing supporting efforts that never leave a dull moment for the audience. In fact, Eisenberg admittedly stated that once Harrelson was on board, the script was slightly reworked to better fit his comedic talents. And believe me, the results show. Another significant glowing aspect to the film is its carefully crafted story. Thanks to a commendable amount of originality to the script, Now You See Me constantly feels fresh and new. With all of the remakes, sequels and rehashed ideas floating around the industry, it’s refreshing to find an energetic and singular story.

Although Louis Leterrier’s Now You See Me successfully grabs the audience, the feature still manages to illustrate some significant flaws. For starters, as a film about illusionists and magicians, there was an immense focus on delivering an abundance of stunning visuals. While I can understand their desire to do so, I found some of the effects to be completely unnecessary and distracting to the movie’s finer elements. Furthermore, Now You See Me caters to a summertime audience by doing all of the work for you. As an active-viewer who enjoys thinking for himself (to a reasonably attainable and not overly-ambiguous degree), the film refuses to allow the moviegoer to dissect the mystery on their own. Containing an almost insurmountable amount of unrealistic sequences followed by an undetectable conclusion, Now You See Me requires that the audience simply watch and be entertained. At least the thrills and uniqueness make the ride enjoyable.

NOW YOU SEE ME

There will be plenty of hits and even more misses during this summer’s blockbuster season. Now You See Me is one of those films that lands somewhere in between. For sheer entertainment value, it’s well worth the price of admission. The jokes are a nice little touch, the action is beyond what you’d expect and the story isn’t very robust, but compelling nonetheless. While I wouldn’t recommend flocking to theatres to catch Now You See Me (a DVD rental will do just fine), you won’t be disappointed if you do.

Grade: 3/5

Check out other work from MCDave at Movie Reviews By Dave

Release date: 4/19/13

Directed by: Joseph Kosinski

Starring: Tom Cruise, Andrea Riseborough, Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Melissa Leo, and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

The Plot:  Earth’s moon was destroyed in a preemptive attack by aliens, creating devastating earthquakes and tidal waves that do a fantastic job of destroying the infrastructure of the planet. In a last ditch move, humanity sacrifices the planet by nuking it to rid itself of the the alien “scavengers.”

Some 60 years in the future, only a few humans remain to oversee the mostly automated harvesting of the Earth’s water supply. Its a tough and lonely job for the human team of “Jack” (Tom Cruise) and “Victoria” (Andrea Riseborough), who work together as an “effective team” to maintain attack drones that protect the huge harvester machines from the last vestiges of the aliens who survived the nuclear attack.

The Earth’s landscape is barren, with striking visuals of a world torn by massive shifts in gravity and war. The humans might have won the war, but the planet was trashed and the devastation is pretty much total. Humanity has been shipped off to one of Saturn’s moons to survive. Even though the “effective team” of Jack and Victoria have had the past five years of their memories wiped as a security precaution, their time on the planet is coming to an end. They’ll soon get to join the off world humans. Even though Jack is looking forward to leaving, there are still parts of him that wish to stay, and nagging dreams of a woman that plague him of a life filled with love. He can’t help but feel like Earth is his home, and who is this woman “Julia” from his dreams (Olga Kurylenko – Hitman and Quantum of Solace)?

The Film:

Based on a unpublished graphic novel passed around Comic Con Intl several years ago, Joseph Kosinski steps outside of the Tron Legacy world that he directed to create his own with Oblivion.

Kosinski overwhelmingly redeems himself with a strong combination of visually spectacular images and a traditional science fiction story that doesn’t have to rely on big explosions, fancy guns, or heavily designed aliens to enthrall audiences. Of course, it does have those elements, along with the post apocalyptic theme that is prevalent today, but it’s the story here that really drives the film. It’s not a Bladerunner, but it does evoke some of the same thoughts of “what if,” and what every good science fiction story should do, creates a sense of wonder and thought.

Moreover, the story does throw in a surprising bit of romance between Jack, Victoria, and Julia, which adds a nice element to this already strong plot.  There are a few other human characters that we only get to see briefly, and you can’t help but wonder what their stories are, but to expand on them in the film (as many critics have complained of) would take us off track. Yes, I would have liked to see more of Morgan Freeman as “Beech”, and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones) as “Sykes,” but in all honestly, there just isn’t time if you want to keep the story moving. What the story does do well in relation to them is showing enough information that you can get a sense of their desperation and that there’s a whole other world existing out there, beyond just what Jack sees.

There’s a spectacular shot of  “Victoria,” (Andrea Riseborough) entering a pool, naked with the sun shinning behind her. Was it CGI? Was it just her with well engineered lighting, or a combination of both? You won’t have time to wonder what’s real and what’s not, because the story will be moving you along with revelations and action sequences that are paced perfectly, to keep you guessing almost every step of the way.

Bottom Line:

As is common with every science fiction story, there are the standard plot holes that plague just about every film in the genre to date. However, all is forgiven, because in Oblivion, we simply don’t have time to dwell on them. The story is big, the visuals epic, and heck, it has Tom Cruise, who actually does a very good job of not being standard Tom Cruise, but “Jack” instead. Go see it in the theater and if possible, IMAX, because this is what IMAX was designed for. Oblivion is the reason you should get out from under your DVD/Blu Ray collection and head to the cinema. It’s well worth the ticket cost, and a second viewing for this writer.

Grade: B+

The soundtrack from M83 is magnificent. Listen to one of the commercial-free tracks below.

PG-13, 2 hr. 5 min.

oblivion

FilmDistrict today released a new featurette for their upcoming star-studded actioner Olympus Has Fallen.

 

The movie looks like an absolute blast, and this featurette is an awesome peek into what we’ll be able to experience in just a few weeks. Watch it below, and let us know what you think!

 

 

Olympus Has Fallen stars Aaron Eckhart, Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, and more, and opens on March 22nd!
 

When the White House (Secret Service Code: “Olympus”) is captured by a terrorist mastermind and the President is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped within the building. As our national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning¹s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) directs an all-star cast featuring Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, and Rick Yune.

FilmDistrict today released a new red band clip from their upcoming action flick, Olympus Has Fallen. As expected, IT’S AWESOME, and does a great job at further exciting me for the full feature.

 

Watch the clip below, and let us know what you think! Olympus Has Fallen opens on March 22nd! If you haven’t seen the trailer for the star-studded film, check it out here!

 

 

When the White House (Secret Service Code: “Olympus”) is captured by a terrorist mastermind and the President is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped within the building. As our national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning¹s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) directs an all-star cast featuring Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, and Rick Yune.

This movie looks BAD ASS.

 

FilmDistrict today released a new featurette promoting their upcoming action flick Olympus Has Fallen. The featurette has Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhard, and Gerard Butler… well, talking about the movie (naturally)!

 

Watch the featurette below, and let us know what you think! Haven’t seen the trailer? Head here first!

 

Olympus Has Fallen looks awesome, and hits theatres on March 22nd.

 

 

When the White House (Secret Service Code: “Olympus”) is captured by a terrorist mastermind and the President is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped within the building. As our national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning¹s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) directs an all-star cast featuring Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, and Rick Yune.

 
OHF_Teaser1sht_web

Film District today released the first trailer for their upcoming star-filled action Olympus Has Fallen.

 

The movie looks like a fun ride for sure, and with quite the cast to boot; stars include Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Angeka Bassett, and plenty more!

 

Could this be a comeback to the action world for Gerard Butler? After 300 in 2006, I thought he was the coolest, and now it seems as though nearly everything he’s attached to is simply laughable. Hopefully Olympus Has Fallen turns out at least half-decent.

 

Check out the trailer below, and let us know what you think! Olympus Has Fallen shoots its way into theatres on March 22nd.

 

 

When the White House (Secret Service Code: “Olympus”) is captured by a terrorist mastermind and the President is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped within the building. As our national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning¹s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) directs an all-star cast featuring Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, and Rick Yune.
OHF_Teaser1sht_web

Lego: The Piece of Resistance, the upcoming Warner Bros. animated feature, has just added Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games) and Morgan Freeman (It’s Morgan Freeman…do I really need to tell you what you’ve seen him in?) to the list of actors lending their voices to the film. Freeman will be taking on the role of Vitruvius but not much is known other than that. The current features Chris Pratt (Parks And Recreation) in the lead role and feature Will Arnett (Arrested Development) as the voice of Batman. There is rumor that Warner Bros. is hoping to land Channing Tatum to fill the role of Superman. The official plot for the film :

An ordinary Lego mini-figure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary MasterBuilder, is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil Lego tyrant from gluing the universe together.

Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (21 Jump Street)  will be directing the upcoming feature with a release date set for February 28, 2014.

Source: Deadline

With the release of The Dark Knight Rises fast approaching, Warner Bros. has been hard at work with their viral marketing campaign. There are three different batches of viral pieces  on the web that we’ve managed to get our hands on. Be warned that there may be some potential spoilers and/or plot points here, but at this point it’s hard to tell what those might be. Just don’t say that we didn’t warn you…

The first one is from DewGothamCity and shows a GCPD performance reveiw of Officer John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). The review shows that Blake is quite the officer and seems likely to move up the ladder quickly. Here’s what is written in the ‘comments’ section of his review:

“Officer Blake shows great dedication and tenacity. He made an impact in his assigned beat by building effective associations within the local community. High marks for skills and conduct. Needs minor improvement in his relationships with fellow officers. His thoroughness tends to make him judgmental of colleagues’ performances and leads him to question authority. Officer Blake has made a request to be transferred to Narrows Division. Given his success in his previous detail, transfer should be granted. Need more officers like him.”

This second piece is an email exchange between some reporters at the Gotham Observer. The emails are in regards to John Daggett, who from the sounds of it is a rather shady board member of Wayne Enterprises.  The emails goes on to mention Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard), Deputy Commissioner (Matthew Modine), and a series of penthouse burglaries. Hmmm, I wonder who that would be in reference to?

From: Mike Ross < micheal.ross@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 1:22 PM
To: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: John Daggett Piece
Just caught wind of another penthouse burglary. That’s five for the week. A couple of watches and a box of jewelry were stolen. Whoever did it must be coming out of thin air because literally no one has seen this person in action…at all. I got Gerald headed downtown now. Dep. Comm Foley’s doing a press conderence at City Hall. The Mayor wants to launch a task force. I guess all of these fat cats get to go cry to the Mayor when somebody steals from them.

From: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 1:15 PM
To: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: John Daggett Piece

Let me kick it up the food chain to Gene and discuss it with him. But Mike, I have to say I’m with Terry on this one. I’d definitely start looking for a replacement. What about Congressmen Gilly wanting to rename the Central Library after this Miranda Tate lady who just got on the board of Wayne Enterprises? The Rogues appealing the NFF’s salary cap penalties?

From: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 12:57 PM
To: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: John Daggett Piece

My feelings is, unless you have a full confession from Daggett himself, stay away from this. Calling this guy litigious is putting it lightly. Two years ago, Becker, Barton & McReynolds commissioned a gold bust of the guy to thank him for all the billable hours.Mike, I hear what you’re saying about Daggett’s place at Wayne E, but the paper can’t take a hit like we’re going to if we move further down this path. He’ll throw everything at us.

From: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 12:46 PM
To: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: 
John Daggett Piece

Terry?

From: Mike Ross < micheal.ross@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 11:28 AM
To: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Cc: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: 
John Daggett Piece

Right now, the former Mali Minister of Communications, who says the US is well aware of Daggett’s use of mercenaries to take over the mines by force. We’ve got five or six government officials speaking anonymously.

From: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 11:02 AM
To: Mike Ross < micheal.ross@thegothamobserver.net >
Cc: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: 
Re: John Daggett Piece

Who do you have that is speaking on the record?

From: Mike Ross < micheal.ross@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 10:41 AM
To: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Cc: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: 
John Daggett Piece

Paul was covering several reports of destruction at a number of construction companies around the city. The companies are claiming that their sites, headquarters, warehouses, and depots are being sabotaged. GPD haven’t been able to trackdown the perpetrators. In fact, there’s no trace of them. GPD won’t confirm it officially, but they do believe something’s up. Paul did some digging and determined that every construction company in the area has been attacked except for John Daggett’s outfit. So Daggett naturally became the focus. Paul’s got a number of sources- speaking anonymously and off the record- about shady business dealings such as Daggett’s acquisition of African diamond mines. I feel it’s relevant because, let’s be honest, the guy is in position of power at Wayne Enterprises and therefore has a lot influence in the city.

From: Katherine Lamont < katherine.lamont@thegothamobserver.net >
Date: Wed, 2 May 10:22 AM
To: Mike Ross < micheal.ross@thegothamobserver.net >
Cc: Terry Degnan < terry.degnan@thegothamobserver.net >
Subject: Re: 
John Daggett Piece

Terry, cc’, just gt a call from John Daggett’s attorney. He’s in full attack mode, claiming libel, threatening action. Says the issue at hand is the following: a story on Daggett mentions Daggett hiring mercenaries to stage cups in West Africa to secure mining rights. His attorney said the claims are unsubstantiated accusations perpetrated by his rivals to taint his company’s reputation.What’s the verall angle of the piece?

Lastly is a handwritten letter from Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) to Bruce Wayne concerning the state of Wayne Enterprises. In the letter Lucius references the concerns of the board members regarding the budget of the R&D department.  The letter also mentions John Daggett and how he may be trying to gather support from other board members that could result in a potential power struggle. Here’s a transcript of the difficult to read handwritten letter as well as Bruce’s very simple reply to Lucius:

Dear Bruce,

I hope this letter finds you well.  Although I would have liked to have had this conversation with you personally, Alfred tells me I am better off writing as you are not receiving any visitors at the moment.  That being the case, I’ll do my best to detail what I feel is becoming a situation within the company.

It’s a given that in the current economic climate our investors have become increasingly concerned about how their money is being spent.  As such, our own profitability is being judged and analyzed, particularly by the Board itself.  In the past, we haven’t given them any reason to worry as both our earnings and spending have been consistent.  This allowed us the autonomy to dedicate resources to Wayne philanthropic programs as well as our own R&D endeavors.  But over the past five quarters, our earnings have been on the downtrend.  Meanwhile, our R&D spending has been on an astronomical uptrend.  And as the black grows fainter around the entire company, I am being put into a position where I have to answer certain questions, particularly about your energy project.

No one is going to dispute the fact that innovation is key to our growth and success.  It’s a mainstay of our business, which is all the more reason why the Board has begun to scrutinize our R&D budget and set their sights on your machine.  Since they don’t know exactly what you’re up to, all they understand is a vast amount of capital is being spent on something they now deem as fruitless – quest for clean energy.  Herein lies the problem.

The last time we spoke, you expressed your reluctance to move the project forward and initiate the next phase of trials.  I understand your argument as to why.  But if you want the company to continue to fund your efforts, I think it is time we give the Board more than just the overview they already have, enlightening them on what this project will mean to Gotham if you are successful.  On a personal note, I’d also like to let them know that with age, Bruce Wayne has decided to fill his father’s shoes, using Wayne Enterprises and all its resources to readily and reliably support our city.

Nothing bad can come from this, Bruce.  But if you decide not to address the issue at hand, I am not sure how long I can keep the Board at bay.  Making matters more difficult is your absence.  I am assuming you have your reasons for it and it is not my job to question those, but I fear that if you are going to drop off the radar for an extended period of time, we may risk another Bill Earle situation.  I can see a couple [of] Board Members already maneuvering to build influence around the table, most notably John Daggett, who I feel is the last person we want to engage in a power struggle.

When I agreed to take on this role I knew full well what the job and our agreement entailed.  I am also well aware of your preferred ways of handling all matters relating to Wayne Enterprises However, I must tell you that we are quickly approaching a set of circumstances that will unfortunately call for a change if we do not address the Board.  Change in most instances is not a bad thing, but in this regard I am worried.  I’m sure you consider my pessimism to be just another part of my charm.  That may be the case, but let’s remember: you didn’t hire me for my charm.

I look forward to hearing from you.

With luck it will be in person.

Regards,

Lucius Fox

 

Lucius,

Tell the board that as of today the program is shut down. As we discussed before, there is too much at stake and the risk is too great. That is my only concern.

-Bruce.

 

Due to his appearances in both ‘Batman Begins’ and ‘The Dark Knight’ people have been speculating and wondering if we would once again see Cillian Murphy return in the final chapter ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. The actor that played Dr. Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow has kind of dodged the question and never really given a straight forward answer when asked recently. Now a new press-release for the ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ European Premiere has made its way online and seems to point to the fact that he does appear in it.

According to the release, the cast attending the premiere include:

Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Liam Neeson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine.

Now it’s time to lose your mind to figure out how he’s going to fit in. Could it be a cameo? A flashback? Is he involved with Bane? Is there a post credits scene of him, Batman and Bane eating some form of Mediterranean food? Guess you’ll just have to wait until July 20th.

Source: Hayuguys

Sometimes, the world kicks you in the ass and you can’t deal with putting on real clothes or moving from your couch for a few days.

Depression hits everyone sooner or later, and most geeks have a movie or three that substitute for medication. And until we all plug into an Avengers IV at the end of this week, here are Geekscape’s 24 FPS surefire depression treatments!

Jae Renfrow: Pristiq River

When I get depressed I usually don’t want to feel better, so I watch movies that’ll wallow with me. Like Million Dollar Baby. Oh, it’s all well and good early on. You’re sitting pretty learning gaelic and reveling in the witty banter between Morgan Freeman and grump Clint Eastwood. You get to see a trailer trash girl kick some butt and rise above her fried twinkie family. Next thing you know you’re biting your own tongue off hoping you drown in the blood. That’s life folks.

And Clint Eastwood has another sad bastard movie sitting on my shelf for those moody Mondays: Mystic River. You ever wonder what happened to all your friends? I do. And when it starts getting me down, I just pop in Mystic River so I can watch one child hood friend make another confess to the murder of his daughter so he can sleep at night. I remember doing this to my brother two years ago when I visited him in Kentucky. I kept saying. “Did you kill her? Just tell me you killed her. C’mon, you killed her didn’t you? Just tell me, it’s cool. You killed her. Say it.” And you know what? It works. He was a blubbering mess after five hours of it and I disposed of him in the woods out behind our house. Rest in peace, bro.

But on the rare occasion that I do want to feel better I just curl up with plate of brownies and watch Bring It On. Hot chicks having PG-13 fun, while trying to protect their cheerocracy from cheererrorism. I’m smiling just writing about it.

Time to get the sad spirit fingered right out of you!

Joe Starr: The Last Adapinbender

My primary depression movie is Transformers: The Movie, but sometimes I’ve got more sadness than Hot Rod’s got photon charges.

When that’s the case, I let Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai ease the pain. Cruise’s character Nathan Algren and I have a lot in common: he can’t find peace in his life and neither can I. One time he was ordered to slaughter a village of Native American women and children and sometimes I have tough sets on stage where people don’t laugh as much as I want them to. And Ken Watanabe has a way of delivering lines that make you mourn for the loss of Japan that Was like it’s something you experienced in person and not via Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 when you were in fifth grade.

If I need a little more pick me up, I’ll burn through Book 3: Fire of Avatar: The Last Airbender like it was a bottle full of happy pills. “I don’t think boomerang is coming back, Toph.” Damn it, Sokka, it’s like you know me.

When that isn’t enough, I watch old Royal Rumbles on YouTube. And that’s when you need to start worrying me.

Steven Kunz: Cymbalted Away

Spirited Away has a real heart behind it and to see the amazing animation and the fantastic settings and characters makes it my ‘go to’ if I want to be inspired or become motivated to change things. It’s really enjoyable to see Chihiro initially learning how to be a servant in the bathhouse and watch her grow stronger throughout the film. This movie is also something I go to when I’m depressed because of, once again, childhood memories. I received a Japanese copy of this movie from an art teacher back in high school for the entire summer, a year before the movie came out. It was just a really nice gesture and I showed Spirited Away to friends and family for the entire summer.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is so ridiculous and over the top in that it is impossible not to feel good about it. It’s a movie you can enjoy simply because of that absurdity. Great example of this would have to be Jay and Silent Bob fighting Cock-Knocker, played by Mark Hamill. How can anyone not laugh at Hamill playing a wacky character parodying the lightsaber fights from Star Wars?

Aliens is not only a classic and entertaining movie, but it also brings back childhood memories for me. This was a movie I first watched when I was in the 4th grade, and ever since I can pop in at any time and easily recall great childhood moments. The whole movie itself brings back a younger, happier time.

No matter how bad things are, you’re not Newt.

Matt Blackwood: Arthouse Abilify

This may sound odd, but my go-to movie when I’m feeling awful is a new one. I love getting lost in a story, and it’s tougher to do that when I already know what happens. I especially like to see a new movie in the theatre. I go all by myself and sit in the front and disappear into cinema for two hours. Being overwhelmed by someone else’s imagination takes my mind off my own problems.

Tim Powers: Thomas the Triavil Engine

My ‘go to’ depression TV show is Trains and Locomotives.

This hour-long show explores the trains and locomotives that aided the growth of travel, further settlement and the development of certain American industries and agricultural ventures.

Archival film footage shows many famous trains that operated dome cars, impressive private rail cars and illustrious sightseeing cars through the years.  You’ll see one-of-a-kind, world class trains that were once the very top for speed, style and service. Trains and Locomotives also features interviews with the people who rode, operated and managed the great trains of America’s vast railroads.

Climb aboard the Super Chief, the showcase train of the world famous Santa Fe Railway, which set the standard for all western passenger trains, or visit The California Zephyr, known as the “Silver Thread Through the West.”   Witness the documentation of a travel mode that provided scenery, comfort and high-class service across the United States – from President Lincoln’s private car to the latest most modern cars that are plying the world’s rails today. The unique and timeless footage captures the excitement of streamlined, steam locomotive hauled trains that will go down in history as a monument to the rail industry, as well as the growth of a the American nation.

Visit the machines of iron and rails that stretched from the first Eastern states along the Atlantic, across the expanse of North America to the new states along the Pacific.  If you like to view the world at eye level, or at the speed of steam and coal, then we welcome all aboard Trains and Locomotives on RFD-TV.

Mark Wensel: River Phoenix Remeron

Not only is Stand By Me my favorite movie, but I have a weird connection to coming of age stories that take place in the 60s. What? I like to watch movies about memories that I’ll never have. Is that so weird?

Anyway, there’s something about the story of four kids in their last summer of innocence. Happiness, leeches, guns and taking care of bullies! Then the end happens and you just kind of become a blubbering mess. Not only that, but the fact that the most talented of the four actors overdosed in the street at the top of his game. A more depressing movie that’s not about mass death there is not.

Matt Kelly: Harold and Marplan

There’s few films that are more hopeful, uplifting and well shot as Harold & Maude. Hal Ashby’s direction and Ruth Gordon’s delivery of Colin Higgins is enough to make you chuckle, smile and L-I-V-E LIVE LIVE LIVE.

The film is filled with beautiful motivational speeches that give you a desire to get up and make a change in the world. It’s been my favorite movie since I saw it over 9 years ago and will probably always be my favorite movie.

How can you still be sad after a wonderfully uplifting speech like this?

‘Mayhem’ Molly Mahan: Lexapro of the Fall

I used to say Legends of the Fall was my favorite movie (after all it is a pretty awesome flick), but then I realized I watch it so much because it was the only thing that made me feel better when I was down. When I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I seriously watched it every day at least once for two weeks. I was a mess, but the awesome trio of Aidan, Anthony, and Brad made life bearable. It was a reason to get up in the morning (if only to find the remote to turn on the TV and crawl back into bed).

I think the reason it helps so much is because there is no way my life will ever be as bad as theirs. My wife isn’t going to be shot by Irish bootleggers, nor is she going to shear her head before blowing her brains out…possibly because I’m a heterosexual female and therefore will never have a wife, but I digress!

Though I don’t watch it as much anymore (perhaps I am more emotionally stable? Hah, yeah right!), whenever I am down on myself I still recall poignant scenes from the film and imagine myself as the characters. For example, today I was down on myself for whatever reason, so I thought of Samuel in his final scene: Blinded by mustard gas, hearing the voice of my savior and I smile, only to be shot down by the Kaiser’s men. Bastards.

That’s right. Brad’s gonna make everything better.

With an announced sequel to X Men: First Class, and the rumors of a rebooted 1960’s Fantastic Four, retro Marvel is officially IN. This has led Geekscape to wonder: what if different Marvel franchises had actually been released in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s?

Or, maybe you think it’s stupid to cast a Marvel movie in a different decade, justify the lineup, and pitch a plot. Well, that’s why we at Geekscape consider ourselves to be heroes, in a way. We waste our time doing the stupid things the world is afraid to do.

 The 90’s: THE X MEN

It’s 1994. X Men: The Animated Series is wildly popular, and the X Men are settling in as the most popular comic franchise of the decade. A movie spinning out of the popular Jim Lee designs of the animated series using its lineup has to happen. It just makes sense- why wait until 2000? It is only logical that the Uncanny X Men join the film legacy of 1994: The Flintstones. The Mask. Speed. Star Trek: Generations. Speed. Speed.

The pitch: All has been quiet in the mutant world since Magneto exiled himself to Asteroid M. Government tensions are at an all time high with the self appointed savior of mutantkind in orbit. The uneasy peace is shattered when Magneto is approached by The Acolytes and their leader Fabian Cortez, who manipulates Magneto and his followers into a declaration of war against the surface! And Gyrich is there, too! The only ones that can prevent a third world war? THE X MEN! Dwee do do be dooooo do do! Dwee do do be dooooooo do da! X MEN THEME SONG.

And who will play the mutants in a world that hates and fears them?

CHARLES XAVIER

Morgan Freeman? Are you crazy? SUCK IT, WORLD, YOU’RE CRAZY. There’s more to Xavier than being a bald white guy. He’s also wise, inspiring, and got his start doing Listerine commercials. Fresh out of The Shawshank Redemption, Freeman brings the cred as the telepathic founder of the X Men. Plus, it’s at least 30% appropriate that one half of Marvel’s civil rights metaphor is actually black. At least.

MAGNETO

Magneto. The exiled mutant leader and Holocaust survivor. Powerful. Intelligent. Charismatic. Handsome enough that Rogue constantly wants to bang him. Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldum you say? Don’t mind if I do. “Sure John, but at Disney, the Pirates of the Caribbean didn’t come to life and use their magnet powers to kill the flatscans.” Words we can all live by.

SCOTT SUMMERS

Val Kilmer. The man who would be Bruce Wayne would make a much better Scott Summers. Stoic. Serious. Handsome. He will be your wingman anytime. I can’t think of anyone in 1994 better groomed to lead the X Men into battle. Except maybe Zero Cool from Hackers. I thought long and hard on that one. Heh. Long. Hard. 90’s humor.

JEAN GREY

The woman who would be the weird character who wanted to bang Bruce Wayne. If Nicole Kidman could put up with Tom Cruise, she can deal with the enormous pressures of the Phoenix. And she can totally pull off constant fainting and shouting ‘Scott!’ and ‘Logan!’ That’s probably the audition. “Slate please. Now look right off camera here and shout ‘Scott.’ Thank you, you’ll hear from us soon.”

FABIAN CORTEZ

Is Michael Wincott super Fabian Cortezy? Possibly not. But was he the awesome bad guy in The Crow? Fuck yes he was. Can you see him being Jeff Goldblum’s right hand man and then (1991 spoiler alert) turning on him? Yes. Yes you can.

GYRICH

Gary Oldman. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, High Ranking Racist Pentagon Official.

STORM

Angela Bassett. Originally Vivica Fox, but we’ve really got to make some tough decisions about who could eventually look better with a mohawk in 1995’s sequel X Men and Jubilee (played by Angels in the Outfield’s Joseph Gordon Levitt).

ROGUE

Perhaps it’s just because I’m the president of the ‘this chick deserved a better career’ club, but Rogue goes to Kari Wuhrer. You know her from 8 Legged Freaks and Command and Conquer: Red Alert. I know her from pictures on AOL when I was becoming a man. And what stronger choice to make for the woman who can’t touch anyone than a woman that a 6th grader really, really wants to touch? It’s poetic and artistic. Like something Alan Moore would write. You guys know Alan Moore? He’s the greatest writer of all time. And he would love this movie. I’m 70% sure of that.

BEAST

James Spader was crushing the sci fi world as the geek that can also kick ass if he has to in STARGATE. Put blue fur on this man immediately! Fun fact: I bet they could have made him look better in 1994 than they did in X Men: First Class. BURN.

WOLVERINE

The Quick and the Dead’s Russell Crowe. He’s the best at what he does. And what he does is throw phones at people in 15 years.

GAMBIT

Cut from the film. Special effects weren’t available in 1994 to replicate his accent properly.

Editor’s Note: Screw you, Joe! You don’t want Van Damme in ANYTHING (except you)! And where’s my Brian “The Boz” Bosworth as Colossus?!?

HAVOK

Come on, how is this not better than Gambit? Rogue can fall in love with him AND he’s the angry younger brother of the team leader. And if the 90’s taught us anything, no one plays ‘angry young brother of the team leader’ better than CHRISTIAN SLATER. This really makes me wish that his character in Pump Up The Volume was actually Alex Summers and at the end his power manifests and he blows up all those FCC trucks. And then he yells ‘Stay hard!’

So who would direct this all out 90s X-Fest? How about a director who spent the end of the 80s making kick ass action film after kick ass action film?

KICK ASS 90s DIRECTOR

John McTiernan made Predator in 1987, Die Hard in 1988 and The Hunt for Red October in 1990. On top of his game, he then made the critical Sean Connery bomb Medicine Man in 1992 and broke Arnold’s hot streak with Last Action Hero in 1993. Ouch. We’d rewrite history to have McTiernan making an X-Men movie for 1994 instead during these dark years before he made Die Hard: With a Vengeance in 1995. How’s that for a career save? We can’t help him with 2002’s Rollerball though…

Well, we’ve learned a lot about me with this one. Mainly, that I wrote more about Kari Wuhrer than Gary Oldman, so I guess we get my priorities. Next week we’re turning the clock another ten years back to avenge the Reagan era! I want my where’s the beef! Members Only Jackets Assemble! I’m casting an 80’s Avengers movie.