Tag: Transformers

Check Out Prototypes For Masterpiece Soundwave And Red Alert!

by Shawn Madden

TFormers.com has posted up some images showing a first look at Masterpiece Soundwave with Lazerbeak as well as Red Alert. The figures are due to be available December 2012 with Soundwave reported to cost $199 and Red Alert to cost $73. Amazon will exclusively offer two Energon cubes with MP-13 Soundwave.

Geekscape Roundtable: Fictional Characters We’d Bang… PART TWO!

by GeekscapeStaff

It’s part 2 of the most important discussion known to mankind!

Everyone has a fictional character they’d bang, whether it’s someone from a movie, a comic, or a car insurance company. So the Geekscape staff put together their top 5 lists, High Fidelity style. 

Joe Starr

Black Widow: Specifically the Iron Man 2/Avengers Black Widow. “Is that dirty enough for you?” COME ON. I actually wasn’t on the ScarJo train until Iron Man 2, and by the time the Avengers credits were rolling I was riding the train like a DJ from the Quad Cities.  Note to self: Do more things like a Quad City DJ. She’s hot, she’s tough. Plus, she’s written by Joss Whedon so you know we will have clever banter. OH the banter we will have.

Arcee from Transformers Prime: This one isn’t about sex. I mean, that happens, but I’m pretty sure that this is the first female character that I’ve found myself admiring and investing in in years. I mean, she’s amazingly strong and independent, a tough but warm woman you can’t help but respect. She’s a breath of fresh air from fake stupid pixie dream girls like The New Girl in the same way that Thor and Captain America were a nice break from ‘guys that want to focus on their photography’ for ladies. It’s not my fault she’s a robot that turns into a motorcycle that I’d have sex with.

Margaery Tyrell: Tyrell is unnervingly beautiful. She’s a subtle player in the Game of Thrones making smart moves. After all, remember what Training Day Denzel said: This is chess, it ain’t checkaz! Tyrell is a chess player. And sometimes she shows her boobs sometimes.

Emma Stone: Ok, look. Emma Stone isn’t real. She can’t be. She’s got all of the hotness Lohan had going for herself circa Mean Girls and none of the coke and coke and coke and coke. Also, she seems pretty rad. Way too rad to be real. It’s like life’s writers felt bad about Lohan and gave the world a do over. I want them to fight. It would be fucking epic. I’m pretty sure Lindsay would work as an alt dimension evil Emma, because she’s starting to get a bit of a goatee.

Kaylee Frye: Look, if we’re gonna go Pixie Dream Girl let’s at least go with one that can fix a starship with a roll of duct tape and sheer will. This chick would roll her eyes at Zooey Deschanel and then hit her with a wrench. And then have sex with me fingers crossed?

Allison McKnight

David Xanatos from Gargoyles:  Look, I’m just going to lay it all out there.  He’s hot.  Look at that stylish ponytail, that jawline and those shoulders.  And not only is he infinitely bangable, he’s a mastermind, manipulating the world to suit his visions.  He moved an entire castle!  How many men can say that?

Caesar from Xena:  Molly may have her heart-on for Ares, but we all know where it’s actually at: Caesar, as played by Karl Urban.  Oof.  Can I get that a second time.  Oof.  That is one sexy hunk of sociopathic manflesh, right there.  He can chain me up, torture me, and take over the civilized world any day.

Gregory House: It’s House, for christsake.  This is the man who walks around, scowling, picking people’s brains apart like he was ripping open a wad of cotton candy.  Gooey, emotion-filled cotton candy.  Even with only one good leg, he’s probably a better lay than… well, I’m not going to name names.

Richard B. Riddick: Sure, he’s a bit of a deviation from my usual lust for Magnificent Bastards, but have you seen those pecs?  In all seriousness, that man is a sex ninja.  That’s right: a sex ninja.  I’m talking about going through positions that normally aren’t physically possibleand he’s all bestial-hind-brain driven– you can tell by his opening narrative that he’s not just a growler, he’s a biter.

Mitsuomi Takayanagi from Tenjho Tenge:  This is a bit of an obscure character for most and, man, is his hair odd.  But when you’re an intelligent piece of beefcake that is casually manipulating people into potential deadly scenarios so you can finally bang your angry ex-girlfriend into submission… mrowr.

Russell Sherman

Jessica Rabbit: Now this is the only female character that could make me choose to be straight.  She’s sexy, loves the nerdy type and is committed to her man, sure she likes to pay patty cake but who doesn’t?  This chick is all right in my books.

Dr. Emmett Brown: Inventor of the stylish time machine, the Tardis may have a pool but it’s not a DeLorean.  Who would want to spend their lifetime traveling through time with their lover?  Doc is the whole package, he’s a creator, smart, artistic (although not always to scale) and the man can dance.

Sam and Dean Winchester: Those two have earned sex from everyone on the planet, they prevented the Apocalypse, fought the devil (and won), and are actively trying to make the world a better place even though it keeps taking everyone they care about away.  We owe them this, gay straight doesn’t matter they have earned a spit roast with you in the middle.

Merlin: He’s frikin’ magic for crying out loud, this is a man that could make all of your dreams come true.  If you want to frak on a magic carpet ride he could make it happen.  You want to ride a unicorn down the wedding isle again he could make this happen.

Wallace Wells: The gossip man who owns all the cool things in Scott’s apartment.  He’s sarcastic, Canadian and gay so this makes him the one character on this list that I’d actually have a chance with not to mention if things work out we could actually get hitched and it’d be legal.  That man is good looking in both the comics and the movie and is not afraid to speak his mind.

Matt Blackwood

Aela the Huntress from Skyrim: Face tattoos, mismatched armor, lots of skin showing- she’s like a medieval Suicide Girl. Plus, she’ll kill a storm atronach with a rusty dagger if you ask her. Of course, there is that “wet dog” issue; is there a Valtrex for lycanthropy?

Blink from Exiles: She’s brave, clever, kind. And pink. All over. Also, you never have to worry about being late again; with her portal power, you can go wherever you want INSTANTANEOUSLY! You want to step out for Chinese in Beijing? Bring a Somalian family to the never-ending pasta bowl? Get a Facebook profile pic on the Moon? Blink can make it happen. And did I mention she’s pink?

Terry Griffith from Just One of the Guys: Terry is the best kind of girl- one with balls. As a budding investigative journalist, Terry fights against the rampant sexual discrimination she faces by going undercover in drag to write an expose. She’s tough and funny and smart and willing to fight for the disenfranchised. And if you’re one of the guys who saw the flashing scene in his formative years, I don’t have to tell you what a model of physical perfection she is.

Margrethe from Job: A Comedy of Justice: While God and the Devil play their sick games with our hero (randomly dropping him in alternate realities Sliders-style in this classic Heinlein twist), Margrethe is the only constant good. The Danish stewardess is kind, understanding, and sexy. And anyone who makes sandwiches that can LITERALLY be considered heaven is worth holding on to.

The Mother from How I Met Your Mother: Like JJ Abrams, I’m obsessed with a mystery box. In 7 seasons, we’ve never actually met the mother. It’s the most misleading title since BJ and the Bear. Will we ever actually see her or is she like the alien from Contact? Is the mother just a concept, an ineffable ideal? Well, if the pedigree of Ted’s past girlfriends (including Cobie Smulders, Jennifer Morrison, and Mandy Moore) is any indication, the unseen mother is going to be totally effable.

Brian Gilmore

(Editor’s note: NSFW…It’s Gilmore)

Ariel from The Little Mermaid: Now, you can only really either go kind of masogynist or extremely masogynist on this one. Because you either have a girl that has no other choice but to go with mouth sexies all day all the time or one that’s super hot and can’t talk. She’s really willing to go a long way for you, too with the whole abandoning her people and voice thing. And she’s always pretty much topless, which is awesome. Also she wouldn’t get fat from having kids with you since they’d probably just grow in egg sacs.

This just got weird. Moving on.

Daphne from Scooby Doo: Any girl that wears a vagina-length skirt to a swamp and yet bothers to wear a scarf is fine by me. She’s also an idiot, which is awesome for a 1-night stand… I mean, they’re all idiots on that show unless every crook in the Scoobyverse is good enough at make-up design to be a contestant on Face Off. Also she’ll think you’re awesome in bed, since all she’s used to banging is one of the most infamously closeted gay characters in classic cartoon history. I always kind of assumed he was so obviously fabulous that he dressed her. One day: “gurrrl, how you wearin that fabulous purple dress with no flair?! Here, borrow one of my scarves!” Not only are her insanely hot fashion choices the thing that made me realize that legs rule, but she has red hair, and as we already established, this matters.

Tinkerbell: NO. SHUT UP. HEAR ME OUT. So, I’m not going to try to make the age-old argument of “hell yeah, I’d make her look like a lobster dinner” that you’ve heard pretty much since before we walked upright as a species and consistently every night as a child. This isn’t why we’re here. We’re all better than that. It’s because it wouldn’t entail any actual kind of P-in-V, so it’d be a one of a kind experience. Let me explain. And I’m so sorry for this. She’d be buzzing about at maximum speed all over you and everything would just kind of feel like as if Fleshlights worked themselves hands-free while you sat comfortably in a vibrating chair. She’d be the Brookstone of fictional lovers. Also, awesome fashion choice once again. Strapless dress that goes up to the fallopes even when 90% of the time she’s flying? Awesome fashion choice.

Wait. We can pick people played by actual humans?

Inara from Firefly: The only downside to this is that she might be a little disappointed because it’d be like asking a surgeon to do surgery at home (I swear to God there’s a better analogy for that). But she’s trained to do this. It seriously has to rule. Also you’d be doing it in space, which is awesome. Although technically I guess you’re always in space. But after letting her show you why only rich white dudes can afford her, assuming she’d be hosting (and yes, these are all now Craiglist casual encounters in my head), you could go down to the cockpit and play dinosaurs with Wash, as long as this was a time in which we hadn’t watched how he soared yet.

The Nun That Kate Upton Plays in the New Three Stooges Movie: I just really want to have unprotected Catholic sex with Kate Upton.

Stephen Prescott

Joan Halloway from Mad Men: Va-va-va-voom!

Winifred Burkle from Angel: She is the definition of adorkable and she’s a genius to boot. Zooey Deschanel wishes she had an ounce of the awesome that Fred has.

River Song from Doctor Who: Super smart, omnisexual and psychopathic. Everything I look for in a woman.

Irene Adler from Sherlock: Sherlock’s equal in almost every way. Also any woman who considers getting naked “putting on her battle armor” is a woman I’d like to meet.

Rose Tyler from Doctor Who: I don’t think there will ever be a time where I don’t have a total crush on Rose. I could blather on forever about how clever she is and how gorgeous she is and how much fun it would be to travel through space and time with her. I feel as though I completely understand why the Doctor loved her so much.

Jonathan London

The Cuckoos: Choices 1-3 MADE in a Greg Land drawn mind sexing! And one of them is in profile because Greg Land couldn’t find anymore three quarter model shots to trace in the Sears catalogue!

Gambit: He’s just a shithead. A bangable shithead that smells like cigarettes and strip clubs.

A bunch of pugs dressed up as Elf Quest characters: Editor’s note: JK this exists at London’s house and is not fictional.

Justin Lamb

Zuul The Gatekeeper: Dana Barrett is a triple threat. She’s a culturally affluent Manhattanite who plays the cello. She enjoys aerobics but knows when to spoil herself with a bag of Stay-Puft marshmallows. And she’s the corporeal medium for a demigod worshiped by the Sumerians and Hittites in 6000 BC. Long story short, things could get frigthful, but I ain’t afraid of no ghosts. Our safety word could be proton pack. Are you the keymaster? Yes. Yes, I am.

Pris from Blade Runner: Basic. Pleasure. Model.

Mrs. Brisby from The Secret of NIMH: I feel for Mrs. B. She is a sweet widower who wears that Pixie cut really well. She sort of reminds me of Mrs. Dawes, the 40-something woman who used to live next to my parents. Mrs. Dawes would work in her garden in a swimsuit top and khaki Mom shorts but she would still look surprisingly hot. Who knows, one night after stealing some corn from Farmer Fitzgibbons, maybe I would be cutting through her yard and oops I sprain my ankle. Mrs. B takes me inside to help me ice it down but instead things heat up. And then we put that red hood over those old photos of Jonathan Brisby.

Erin the Esurance Girl: Fearless, smart and sexy – whether she was stopping giant death-ray wielding automatons or saving me up to 25% on my auto insurance, this secret agent always sent me Thunderballing. Esurance stopped using her after she did poorly in a survey of popular corporate mascots. Despite being decommissioned though, she still fires up my Burn Unit.

An adult version of Princess Ruto from Ocarina of Time: I spent so many hours on that fucking Water Temple…I earned this.

Fall of Cybertron: Ten Transformers That Deserve Some Spotlight

by Joe Starr

With Transformers: Fall of Cybertron coming out on August 28 and releasing more and more amazing footage every week, it’s time to start thinking about the Robots in Disguise. Like, more than I usually do.

Lists of bad ass Transformers are easy to make. Here’s one you’ve probably see before, off the top of my head: Springer Sixshot Cliffjumper Prowl Sunstreaker Blitzwing Cyclonus Grimlock Soundwave Starscream. Yay.

But there were a lot of G1 Transformers. And chances are, there were some bad asses sitting right under your nose you weren’t even aware of. Just blending in perfectly, like a blue cassette player. So this list is for the uncelebrated but awesome: those other mechs that were severely bad ass but probably never even met a Prime in person because a bunch of Dinobots were hogging the line.

SNAPTRAP

Ok sure. The guy is a turtle. But look at him. He’s a giant robot snapping turtle covered in guns. He’s like a tank that can also bite you to death. According to his bio, he really enjoys killing and gutting his victims. So he’s sort of a Decepticon Dexter, except instead of balancing being a father with working for the police and serial killing, he turns into a big robot death turtle. Is he turquoise and purple? Yes. You know what that means? It means he’s a murder boss that can pull of turquoise and purple. Also, at some point, like every Decepticon was turquoise and purple. Including…

SPINISTER

Guys, I have a lot of rotating parts and I’m pretty evil. Pitch me some names. This guy doesn’t just have the best name in Transformerdom, he may have the best name in doms, period. He turns into an attack helicopter like Nick Cage flew in the hit classic Firebirds, and he’s mysterious. Like, super mysterious. And his guns turn into robots, too: Singe, a guy driven to villainy by a woman (aren’t they all, really?), and Hairsplitter, a middle management robot version of Lumburg. So play nice, Hot Rod, or these guys are gonna take your girl, your stapler, and your life.

STREETWISE

He’s part of an emergency vehicles unit. He’s a crime scene specialist. He’s a robotic David Caruso. Looks like the situation with this dead Prime is….optimal.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AFTERBURNER

Most the Autobots are kind of push overs. Grimlock is a tough guy but he’s also got paint chips syndrome. Afterburner, however, is an authority hating dickbar who along with his fellow Technobots forms Computron, the smartest robot, so he’s not dim, either. At some point Optimus Prime was watching the Breakfast club, pointed at Brian and Bender and said ‘merge them and give him a gun. Also, make him turn into a light cycle from Tron.’

SLINGSHOT

Another awesome Autobot: Slingshot is better than everyone. He’s even better than how good he thinks he is. If there had been Twitter on Transformers, Slingshot would have owned it. No one even likes the guy, but he probably has more robot sex with chick robots than anyone else on the Ark. He’s not a robot that turns into a jet. He’s a jet that turns into Kanye West. HANG ON GALVATRON IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT MEGATRON WAS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! ALL TIME!

BLAST OFF

Are you not sure about getting into Transformers but love Downton Abbey? Look no further then this guy, who is basically like an evil newspaper owner that is going to marry Mary Crawley in every way except that he also turns into a spaceship. “Get these Decepticons out of here! They are downstairs Decepticons and we are upstairs, with the upstairs Decepticons!”

DOUBLECROSS

I mean, look at him. He’s a big two headed dragon. What’s not to like? Also, his toy shot sparks, so goodbye fur on your cat’s tail. He’s like Grimlock if you gave Grimlock a second head and got rid of the learning disability. All around very helpful.

CHROMEDOME

So, this guy was a Headmaster, which meant that his head turned into a robot when he transformed into a car. And yes I know that they weren’t robots- they were Nebulons that went through a binary process to merge with their host robot but eat me. Chromedome is a crazy smart mathematician and his head friend (that sounds awful) is Stylor, a d-bag jock bully. It’s like having a Louis Skolnick and Ogre in the same body! And that’s comedy efficiency!

MOTORMASTER

He’s the Decepticon’s diesel truck with a trailer. The guy was made to be an evil Optimus Prime. Basic rules of cartoon villains should tell you that this is an awesome thing. But Motormaster doesn’t stop there. He also fights dudes with a chain sometimes. And he’s in charge of a team of stunt driving race cars. So he’s basically Vin Diesel with his Fast and the Furious guys backing him up and they merge to form a giant super robot called Come At Me Bro Convoy.

POWERGLIDE

Somewhere between Zoidberg and Zapp Brannigan, there’s Powerglide. He turns into an A-10 Thunderbolt II Warthog, and for the longest time he was the only Autobot that could fly, unless you count Skyfire, And I never count Skyfire. Powerglide seems to have had the best romantic track record, too. I don’t know, there’s just something charming about a guy that refers to himself as the ‘Sultan of the Sky.’ He’s like a pilot from the Pacific that your grandfather always tells stories about, and who is also secretly your real grandfather.

E3 2012: ‘Transformers: Fall Of Cybertron’ Metroplex Trailer

by Shawn Madden

If you haven’t played ‘War For Cybertron’ by now you’re missing out on what is hands down the best ‘Transformers’ game out there. Well… High Moon Studios are back with their follow up ‘Fall Of Cybertron’ (Their ‘Dark Of The Moon’ game was so rushed and sloppy that I ignore its existence) and here’s a look at the epicly awesome Metroplex heeding the call of the last Prime!

‘Fall Of Cybertron’ transforms and rolls out on August 28, 2012.

Amos ‘N’ Anakin: Sci-Fi and Racism in the 21st Century

by Matt Blackwood

The sci-fi genre (including science fiction, fantasy, and horror) has a long history of unofficial equal rights advocacy. As far back as the 18th and 19th century, sci-fi stories like Gulliver’s Travels and The Time Machine subtly touched on topics of racial intolerance and class disparity. The 1950s brought us The Twilight Zone, an anthology of morality plays, many of which dealt with racial injustice. In the 1960s, Star Trek repeatedly championed the civil rights movement, airing television’s first multiracial kiss and producing episodes like “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield”, a deft allegory of the consequences of racism. In the late 60s and 70s, George A. Romero put strong black characters in leading roles in his socially conscious zombie films.

A member of the noble race of aliens from "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield", seen here next to one of the dirty, inferior race.

So how is it that after two centuries of progressive, forward-thinking literature, racism has begun to pervade sci-fi? Since the turn of the millennium, there have been a few prominent examples of bald racism in the sci-fi world. These may be isolated incidents, but they do have one glaring common aspect: they were all defended by fans. Rather than a public consensus shaming the offenders into apology, which has become the protocol in these situations (see: Michael Richards), in each of these cases fans mounted a counter-argument denying any existence of racism. These have not been good arguments, but they have, like creation “science”, been enough to muddy the waters for those who don’t want to see the truth.

POD RACE WARS

In 1999, the lifetime of anticipation millions of Star Wars fans had built up waiting for Episode I finally ended. And it ended the way every lifetime does: with death. The pristene sense of wonder and joy that was born out of seeing Star Wars for the first time died that day. And out of its ashes grew a bitter cynicism from which society will not recover until the only ones left are the kids who saw the prequels first, carefree and ignorant without a frame of reference for what should have been.

I believe the children are our future. At least, I used to...

On a laundry list of complaints about The Phantom Menace, the use of racism as a storytelling device certainly takes priority. At least three different alien races in the film, in voice, dress, and manner, are indistinguishable from specific racial stereotypes. The Neimoidians, leaders of the Trade Federation, with their large-sleeved robes, bowing, and thick Asian “r” and “l” switching accents are clear corollaries for the Japanese. Watto, a hairy, big-nosed, money-obsessed junk dealer is an overt Semitic caricature. And then there’s Jar Jar Binks and the Gungans, with their definitive Porgy and Bess accents are obviously stand-ins for native Caribbeans. All of these characters are depictions of racial stereotypes, and all of them are bad. The Trade Federation are in league with the Sith, Watto is an unscrupulous slave owner, and Jar Jar is a rude, lazy fool.

"Meesa ashamed of reinforcing negative racial preconceptions."

Some fans refuse to believe these characters are the product of racism. These fans contend that the alien races are original compilations of traits, and racially sensitive people pick out specific traits they associate with races and extrapolate racism that isn’t there. But it isn’t just one trait; it’s the whole package. There’s a reason the Anti-Defamation League hasn’t ever voiced serious concerns about the anti-Semitic undertones of gold-hoarding dragons. Because that is extrapolating association from a single trait. That’s not what they do. No one came to Star Wars looking for racism. They saw it because it smacked them in the face.

There were several offensive characters in Phantom Menace, but this one wins by a nose.

Another common defense is simply to ask why Lucas would put in racist stereotypes. In other words, these fans are demanding the prosecution show motive. Well, the motive is simple and sad: lazy writing. A thoughtful, creative writer will spend time developing characters, but a lazy writer can import easily recognized stereotypes in place of unique characters. Essentially it’s like stealing a stock character from another work of fiction, only this time the fiction is the magical world that racists live in.

Compare the races of Episode I with those of the Lord of the Rings series. J.R.R. Tolkien practically invented what we think of as elves and dwarves not by recontextualizing pre-existing stereotypes but by creating a world and considering how that world’s history and landscape would affect how societies developed. Each race has a specific set of culturally inherent traits, but even if they share any history with or bear any resemblance to real peoples, they don’t stick out as identical with persistent stereotypes. And Tolkien was part of the tradition of promoting racial unity as Gimli the dwarf found friendship with elf Legolas. Of course their common ground was the hunting and killing of a third race, but hey, Orcs are jerks. Even Dr. King said we could judge people by the content of their character.

The ACLU isn't goin' anywhere near this one.

You don’t even have to leave the Star Wars universe to find an example of well-done race introduction. A New Hope‘s Mos Eisley Cantina is full of many different alien races, all distinct and imaginative variations on basic animal features. Their manner and clothing tell us immediately that these creatures are sentient despite reminding no one in any way of any human race or even the human race.

Scum? Sure. Villainy? You bet. Stereotypes? No.

The “shorthand” of racial stereotypes is unnecessary to convey an individual’s personality or even the cultural identity of a recently introduced alien race; good storytellers are able to give us this information through good writing. Lucas clearly used to be a good storyteller, but he got old, tired, and lazy.

REVENGE OF THE APPALLIN’

About a decade after Episode I, sci-fi race relations suffered a very similar setback with episode 2 of the Transformers franchise. We’ll just call Jazz’s breakdancing in the first Transformers a misguided homage. But he was replaced in the second film by the duo of Mudflap and Skids, robots that used rap slang and sounded “street”- one of them even had a gold tooth (I’m not sure which one- the movie Transformers all look alike to me). Once again, we’re talking about lazy writers using offensive stereotypes in place of original characters, but this goes even further. These obvious black analogues are rude, gross, craven, and even, despite presumably having advanced alien CPUs for brains, illiterate. And even this was not universally acknowledged as racism.

Robo-jangles of Cybertron

The defense here was similar to that of The Phantom Menace. Fans who jumped to the film’s defense said, “They’re not black men, they’re robots! They’re not even black robots! How can it be racist?” But racism is more than meets the eye. It doesn’t have to be a black man to be a depiction of a black man. Amos ‘N’ Andy were two white guys in minstrel makeup. The caricature already exists in our culture and can be depicted via cartoon bird, CG robot, cave etching- it’s still making fun of black people.

Note: THIS is blackface. That Billy Crystal Oscars thing was simply using makeup to enhance an unfunny, outdated impersonation. Completely different thing.

FAN BLACKLASH

So are fans racist? Well, yes and no. Obviously there’s nothing inherently racist in sci-fi to promote extra intolerance, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some fans who bring their racism with them. You might think sci-fi’s myriad fables against discrimination would discourage ethnocentrists’ interest, but even in their religions people hear what they want to hear. Sci-fi’s biggest deterrent to racism is its innate intelligence; the often complex rules and sophisticated storylines of new universes tend to naturally repel those of lower intelligence, whom studies have shown are more likely to hold racist beliefs. So sci-fi fandom probably has a slightly lower proportion of racists than the rest of society, but they are there.

Unfortunately, in the Venn diagram of society, the circles of racial intolerance and genre enthusiasm do have some overlap. Two recent examples made me ashamed of my people. The first is the rejection of a black Spider-man. When Sony announced in 2010 that it would reboot the Spidey franchise with a new Peter Parker, a sharp-eyed fan suggested writer/actor Donald Glover for the role. Glover is a smart, funny young actor with a slim, muscular build; he would have been a strong choice for the iconic character. As an excited fan himself, Glover retweeted the idea, causing a flurry of Internet excitement. But not all of the buzz was positive. Hundreds of fans denounced the idea, saying they would never see a movie with a black Spider-man.

Fear of a Black Daily Planet. What? It's Bugle? Crap. That was such a good joke. OK, how about "Parker Brother"?

Some argue that this was not a racially motivated disgust. They argue that die hard fans’ ire is notoriously easy to provoke by adaptations straying from the source material, and that’s a fair point. Fans were also annoyed that John Constantine was played by a brunette American instead of a blond Brit. However, those that tweeted death threats and epithets at Glover were not pre-occupied with comic accuracy, but were clearly a different kind of purist altogether.

The more recent example is also in casting, but this one isn’t merely hypothetical. The Hunger Games movie adaptation broke box office records, but a vocal minority soured the occasion. These readers apparently missed the indication to beloved character Rue’s dark skin in the book and were shocked and disgusted by the decision to cast a young black actress. Naturally, these fans vehemently denied that their outcry was in any way racist. All they said was that they couldn’t see a little black girl as innocent or be upset when a little black girl’s life was in peril, because she’s black. Nothing racist about that.

Where's Kanga, am I right? But no, in all seriousness, this totally made me cry like a baby.

For the most part, I don’t think all that many sci-fi fans out there are racist. The Hunger Games and Spider-man franchises have much larger audiences than most genre works, and a bigger crowd always means a bigger, louder fringe. I don’t even think those who denied the racist elements of Star Wars Episode I and Transformers 2 are themselves racist. I just think they’re in denial. they’re choosing to believe that the things they love so much could not possibly be so flawed. They’re like abused housewives attacking the cops who are trying to protect them. The reality is just too hard to face.

But we have to face it if we are going to move forward. Sweeping this under the rug is not acceptable. The only way we will ever remove racism from sci-fi in specific and society in general is to stop denying that it exists. The first step in recovery is admitting that you have a problem. And right now we do.

Geekscape Roundtable: Cinematic Uppers for the Nerdy and Depressed!

by Joe Starr

Sometimes, the world kicks you in the ass and you can’t deal with putting on real clothes or moving from your couch for a few days.

Depression hits everyone sooner or later, and most geeks have a movie or three that substitute for medication. And until we all plug into an Avengers IV at the end of this week, here are Geekscape’s 24 FPS surefire depression treatments!

Jae Renfrow: Pristiq River

When I get depressed I usually don’t want to feel better, so I watch movies that’ll wallow with me. Like Million Dollar Baby. Oh, it’s all well and good early on. You’re sitting pretty learning gaelic and reveling in the witty banter between Morgan Freeman and grump Clint Eastwood. You get to see a trailer trash girl kick some butt and rise above her fried twinkie family. Next thing you know you’re biting your own tongue off hoping you drown in the blood. That’s life folks.

And Clint Eastwood has another sad bastard movie sitting on my shelf for those moody Mondays: Mystic River. You ever wonder what happened to all your friends? I do. And when it starts getting me down, I just pop in Mystic River so I can watch one child hood friend make another confess to the murder of his daughter so he can sleep at night. I remember doing this to my brother two years ago when I visited him in Kentucky. I kept saying. “Did you kill her? Just tell me you killed her. C’mon, you killed her didn’t you? Just tell me, it’s cool. You killed her. Say it.” And you know what? It works. He was a blubbering mess after five hours of it and I disposed of him in the woods out behind our house. Rest in peace, bro.

But on the rare occasion that I do want to feel better I just curl up with plate of brownies and watch Bring It On. Hot chicks having PG-13 fun, while trying to protect their cheerocracy from cheererrorism. I’m smiling just writing about it.

Time to get the sad spirit fingered right out of you!

Joe Starr: The Last Adapinbender

My primary depression movie is Transformers: The Movie, but sometimes I’ve got more sadness than Hot Rod’s got photon charges.

When that’s the case, I let Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai ease the pain. Cruise’s character Nathan Algren and I have a lot in common: he can’t find peace in his life and neither can I. One time he was ordered to slaughter a village of Native American women and children and sometimes I have tough sets on stage where people don’t laugh as much as I want them to. And Ken Watanabe has a way of delivering lines that make you mourn for the loss of Japan that Was like it’s something you experienced in person and not via Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 when you were in fifth grade.

If I need a little more pick me up, I’ll burn through Book 3: Fire of Avatar: The Last Airbender like it was a bottle full of happy pills. “I don’t think boomerang is coming back, Toph.” Damn it, Sokka, it’s like you know me.

When that isn’t enough, I watch old Royal Rumbles on YouTube. And that’s when you need to start worrying me.

Steven Kunz: Cymbalted Away

Spirited Away has a real heart behind it and to see the amazing animation and the fantastic settings and characters makes it my ‘go to’ if I want to be inspired or become motivated to change things. It’s really enjoyable to see Chihiro initially learning how to be a servant in the bathhouse and watch her grow stronger throughout the film. This movie is also something I go to when I’m depressed because of, once again, childhood memories. I received a Japanese copy of this movie from an art teacher back in high school for the entire summer, a year before the movie came out. It was just a really nice gesture and I showed Spirited Away to friends and family for the entire summer.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is so ridiculous and over the top in that it is impossible not to feel good about it. It’s a movie you can enjoy simply because of that absurdity. Great example of this would have to be Jay and Silent Bob fighting Cock-Knocker, played by Mark Hamill. How can anyone not laugh at Hamill playing a wacky character parodying the lightsaber fights from Star Wars?

Aliens is not only a classic and entertaining movie, but it also brings back childhood memories for me. This was a movie I first watched when I was in the 4th grade, and ever since I can pop in at any time and easily recall great childhood moments. The whole movie itself brings back a younger, happier time.

No matter how bad things are, you’re not Newt.

Matt Blackwood: Arthouse Abilify

This may sound odd, but my go-to movie when I’m feeling awful is a new one. I love getting lost in a story, and it’s tougher to do that when I already know what happens. I especially like to see a new movie in the theatre. I go all by myself and sit in the front and disappear into cinema for two hours. Being overwhelmed by someone else’s imagination takes my mind off my own problems.

Tim Powers: Thomas the Triavil Engine

My ‘go to’ depression TV show is Trains and Locomotives.

This hour-long show explores the trains and locomotives that aided the growth of travel, further settlement and the development of certain American industries and agricultural ventures.

Archival film footage shows many famous trains that operated dome cars, impressive private rail cars and illustrious sightseeing cars through the years.  You’ll see one-of-a-kind, world class trains that were once the very top for speed, style and service. Trains and Locomotives also features interviews with the people who rode, operated and managed the great trains of America’s vast railroads.

Climb aboard the Super Chief, the showcase train of the world famous Santa Fe Railway, which set the standard for all western passenger trains, or visit The California Zephyr, known as the “Silver Thread Through the West.”   Witness the documentation of a travel mode that provided scenery, comfort and high-class service across the United States – from President Lincoln’s private car to the latest most modern cars that are plying the world’s rails today. The unique and timeless footage captures the excitement of streamlined, steam locomotive hauled trains that will go down in history as a monument to the rail industry, as well as the growth of a the American nation.

Visit the machines of iron and rails that stretched from the first Eastern states along the Atlantic, across the expanse of North America to the new states along the Pacific.  If you like to view the world at eye level, or at the speed of steam and coal, then we welcome all aboard Trains and Locomotives on RFD-TV.

Mark Wensel: River Phoenix Remeron

Not only is Stand By Me my favorite movie, but I have a weird connection to coming of age stories that take place in the 60s. What? I like to watch movies about memories that I’ll never have. Is that so weird?

Anyway, there’s something about the story of four kids in their last summer of innocence. Happiness, leeches, guns and taking care of bullies! Then the end happens and you just kind of become a blubbering mess. Not only that, but the fact that the most talented of the four actors overdosed in the street at the top of his game. A more depressing movie that’s not about mass death there is not.

Matt Kelly: Harold and Marplan

There’s few films that are more hopeful, uplifting and well shot as Harold & Maude. Hal Ashby’s direction and Ruth Gordon’s delivery of Colin Higgins is enough to make you chuckle, smile and L-I-V-E LIVE LIVE LIVE.

The film is filled with beautiful motivational speeches that give you a desire to get up and make a change in the world. It’s been my favorite movie since I saw it over 9 years ago and will probably always be my favorite movie.

How can you still be sad after a wonderfully uplifting speech like this?

‘Mayhem’ Molly Mahan: Lexapro of the Fall

I used to say Legends of the Fall was my favorite movie (after all it is a pretty awesome flick), but then I realized I watch it so much because it was the only thing that made me feel better when I was down. When I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I seriously watched it every day at least once for two weeks. I was a mess, but the awesome trio of Aidan, Anthony, and Brad made life bearable. It was a reason to get up in the morning (if only to find the remote to turn on the TV and crawl back into bed).

I think the reason it helps so much is because there is no way my life will ever be as bad as theirs. My wife isn’t going to be shot by Irish bootleggers, nor is she going to shear her head before blowing her brains out…possibly because I’m a heterosexual female and therefore will never have a wife, but I digress!

Though I don’t watch it as much anymore (perhaps I am more emotionally stable? Hah, yeah right!), whenever I am down on myself I still recall poignant scenes from the film and imagine myself as the characters. For example, today I was down on myself for whatever reason, so I thought of Samuel in his final scene: Blinded by mustard gas, hearing the voice of my savior and I smile, only to be shot down by the Kaiser’s men. Bastards.

That’s right. Brad’s gonna make everything better.

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron Screenshots. DINOBOTS BABY!

by Shane O'Hare

The extremely anticipated sequel to the most successful Transformers game ever, The Fall of Cybertron keeps the hype machine fueled. Featuring bigger and more expansive environments, FoC embarks players on new adventures that are built around their characters abilities and alternate forms. PLUS WE GET SOME DINOBOTS BABY!

Check out the gallery below for some tasty, tasty pics.

Michael Bay VS. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

by Matt Blackwood

First they put nipples on the Batsuit, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Batman fan.

Then they reduced The Force to midichlorians, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Star Wars fan.

Now they’re coming for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I am speaking out. Shouting in fact. And I’m not alone.

In case you haven’t heard, Michael Bay recently announced that his 2013 reboot would redesign the Turtles’ origin as extraterrestrial. Instead of ordinary pets mutated with ooze, Bay’s Ninja Turtles will be aliens. From space. Turtle-shaped aliens.

As you might imagine, the blogosphere lit up like a mannequin covered in light bulbs at the news. Nerds all over the Internet gathered to bay at Bay, voicing their vitriol at the change to their beloved TMNT.

The anger was so widespread, in fact, that Michael Bay was forced to address it head-on with an official statement on his website:

Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.

Bay doesn’t understand why people are so upset when they haven’t even heard the full pitch of his changes. So I will explain it to him in a language he understands:

OOM-BAY!!

But seriously, the reason we aren’t happy is obvious. These are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you are willing to change something as fundamental as a descriptor in the title, how can anything be safe?

This is the type of mercurial change thrown out by a suit that doesn’t get the importance of art in pop culture, that doesn’t see how committing to and enriching a story is better than tossing it out and using a new one. The decision was clearly made by someone who was not a fan of the Turtles, only of the money that can be made off their name.

Michael Bay doesn’t have any love for the Turtles; if he did, he wouldn’t be doing this. Besides, after the inglorious debacle that was the Transformers trilogy, how can we be expected to trust this guy with our favorite franchises?

Which face do YOU trust?

So why don’t you chill, Michael Bay. Because that’s what people do when they don’t care one way or the other. I’ll be over here with the nerds, worked up into a frenzy and telling anyone who will listen. Because I do care. Because it matters to me.

People often confuse nerd rage with Internet trolling, but the two couldn’t be more different. Trolls draw from a place of hate, a deep dark well of dissatisfaction that they can’t release in their public lives. They wait until they can hide in the high grass of the Internet and let their bile fly.

The Secret of the Ooze

Nerd rage, on the other hand, comes from a place of love. Our aggression is that of a mother protecting her child. We love things so much that we can’t stand to see them destroyed.

Because that’s what defines us nerds. Love. Forget all of the descriptions you’ve heard; we don’t need to be hyper-intelligent, socially awkward, or technologically inclined. Nerds are people who love something so much that they examine it obsessively in an effort to completely understand it, and thus to ultimately understand ourselves.

I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I grew up watching the cartoon, collecting the action figures, playing the video games. I even played TMNT with my brother and some kids around the neighborhood. The Ninja Turtles gave me countless hours of pure childhood joy.

Michael Bay gave me racist robots.

Tyler Perry's Mudflap and Skids

Even if the Turtles aren’t your thing, if you’re a nerd like me, I guarantee something you love has been tampered with, tainted, or destroyed by non-nerds. The Rise of Cobra, the gentrification of The Last Airbender, whatever 2003’s The Cat in the Hat was supposed to be- something has been marred forever thanks to the tinkering of people who don’t love the characters the way you do.

Or maybe your favorite story is next.

If we don’t tell the Michael Bays of the world exactly how we feel every time, they will take our silence as implicit consent. And without a solid phalanx of dissent, the suits will interpret a mix of negative and positive comments, no matter how lopsided, as “indeterminate”. We have to band together under a common nerd banner and cry “NO” to Darth Vader crying “NO.”

We need to speak up for the Turtles, or they won’t be there to speak up for you. Because they’ll be on Ork or something.

The Geekscape Staff Roundtable: Our Favorite Movie Soundtracks

by GeekscapeStaff

Movie soundtracks. They’re the soundtrack to our lives… so for this week’s roundtable, we checked in with our writing staff to find out what their lives ideally sounded like.

Eric Diaz

What it sounds like when doves cry…

In my opinion, Prince’s soundtrack to his 1984 movie Purple Rain isn’t just the greatest movie soundtrack of all time, it is one of the greatest albums of all time, period. I admit, the movie itself is fairly terrible overall, but remains totally watchable today as a kind of pop culture/ fashion time capsule. Not to mention, about 50% of the movie is on stage performances from Prince and others, and that helps A LOT. But the album is another story all together: from the spoken word opening of Let’s Go Crazy (“Dearly Beloved…”) to the final fading melancholy strings of the title track, all nine songs on this album are pure pop perfection. Spawning four top ten hits and two number ones (“Let’s Go Crazy” and “When Doves Cry”) Purple Rain showcases Prince and the Revolution at the very peak of their musical powers.

Back in 1984/85, everything associated with this soundtrack turned into radio gold. It didn’t even matter if the songs from the album were even released as singles, many got massive radio play just the same. Even Erotic City, the B-Side to Let’s Go Crazy, got significant play. The two songs performed by Morris Day & the Time included in the movie became hits, as did Apollonia’s Sex Shooter, and none of these were even considered good enough by His Royal Badness to actually include on the actual final album release. While many consider Prince’s 1987 double album Sign O’ the Times to be his crowning achievement, the truth is there are still a couple of filler tracks on there. Purple Rain however, is lean mean perfection from start to finish. Over the past twenty eight years, I’ve owned it on vinyl, cassette, CD, mp3 and will probably have it directly downloaded straight into my brain one day.

Random Trivia: Track #5, Darling Nikki, was considered so obscene that it caused Tipper Gore to form the Parents Music Resource Center which is why you have all those annoying black and white Parental Advisory labels on your albums today.

Ben Dunn

When his mind’s made up…

One of the best soundtracks that comes to mind for me is from the little indie that could, Once. The movie is billed as a modern-day musical, but it’s not the traditional type with the characters breaking spontaneously into song. Instead you characters that are actually musicians trying to create music together. And boy does it ever do its job. The feelings that are expressed in the lilt of Glen Hansard’s voice and the way it mingles with Marketa Irgolva’s is heart breaking. Listen to the main theme or “Falling Slowly” and if it does not move you I would definitely go to the doctor and check to see if you have a heart.

Matt Kelly

Stands outside and yells at the rain…

Over the years Garden State has become the go-to joke for ‘Hipster movie’ and ‘Indie by Numbers’, but for me it’s always been an important movie. It reflected my post-high school, pre-college worried and concerns and became a huge comfort to me. The soundtrack is no different. Each song is so lovingly picked for each sequence. They all fit in the context of the scenes and flow beautifully on the album. My favorite track is the somber I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You by Colin Hay. I’d never heard of him before this album but the song made me go out and purchase more of his music and he’s now one of my favorite artists of all time. Whenever I’ve had a rough day I can still put on the Garden State Soundtrack and relax.

Molly Mahan

Understands who makes the rockin’ world go round…

When it comes to best film soundtracks THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. With original music (and a few covers) by Queen, Highlander is the clear winner. It has no rival. No other collection of sound can be its equal: 26 years have passed since it was given to us and it is still the future of sound. From the epic “Princes of the Universe” (later used as the opening theme to the TV show) to the somber power ballad “Who Wants to Live Forever?” (Which I plan to have play at my funeral), the Highlander soundtrack is rife with music for any occasion and it’s bound to make your day better.

It also shows what kind of lasting power a soundtrack can have on a film. I mean, seriously, without music written and performed by Mercury, Taylor and May, where would Highlander be? The soundtrack is so blindingly amazing that not only does it make me forget the horrible experience that is the film proper, but I will rewatch it constantly and proclaim it as one of the greatest movies of all time. It’s just amazing. Not to mention that hearing Freddie Mercury halfhearted cry of “Bring on the girls!” makes me smile every time I hear it. It truly is A KIND OF MAGIC. So, GIMME A PRIZE, my fellow Geekscapists, as I do my best Kanye impersonation and proudly state that I’m gonna let you finish, but Highlander’s soundtrack is the greatest soundtrack of all time!

Shane O’Hare

Loves this Monday to Friday soundtrack…

Snakes on a Plane gets my vote for BEST movie soundtrack. It is one of the most odd amalgamations of music I have ever heard. The opening track is a scary, snakey sounding piece written by Trevor Rabin of YES fame. And then things get odd.

The main hit single by Cobra Starship, Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) was my ringtone all throughout my Junior year. It has a freakishly fabulous guitar riff and the best line in musical history ever: “We got a free upgrade for snakes on a plane/Fuck ’em, I don’t care.” Next, we have not one but THREE remixes by Tommie Sunshine of popular 2006 radio hits from Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy and The Hush Sound.

Then the Teddybear Remix of The Academy Is takes the mediocre existence of that band and elevates it to next level status. Then out of literally Nowherevilles, a township of Leftfield County, Cee-Lo Green drops an original track about the fear of snakes aptly called Ophidiophobia which includes a chorus only Cee-Lo could sing: “Send me an angel, an angel/No sign of the times, instead I’ll take it to mean I’m a stranger, to danger/But I’m scared ’cause I swore I saw a snake on a plane”.

SOAP soundtrack is HANDS DOWN the best movie OST on the planet. Feature epic original tracks, crazy ass remixes and epic genre flip flopping. Where else are you going to hear “Final Snakes” by Shranky Drank? HMMM? WHERE?

Noel Nocciolo

Still trying to make ‘fetch’ happen…

Clueless is the blueprint, in motion-picture soundtrack-form, for my music schizophrenia. Not only is “Clueless” one of my favorite movies from the 1990s, the soundtrack was my jam…and sort of still is.

The soundtrack, like the movie, begins with The Muffs’ straight-forward, solid version of Kim Wilde’s 1981 hit, “Kids In America,” a fine thesis in which to introduce Cher Horowitz.

Much like what I constantly have on current rotation in my headphones, this soundtrack is all over the place. And yet somehow it works. There are gorgeous acoustic versions of Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” and Counting Crows’ cover of The Psychedelic Furs’ “The Ghost in You,” and randomness from the Beastie Boys and Coolio. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones make an appearance in the movie as themselves, playing two songs at a frat party; one is on the soundtrack. My favorite track, which I think holds the most water in current times with regards to the evolution of what we (probably) now call “indie-rock” is “Alright” by Brit-pop group, Supergrass. I find myself listening to that cut about once a week.

The first day of classes at Fordham University, I met Rachel, whom I still count as one of my closest friends. Soon into our friendship, she told me about this incredible off-Broadway musical that was playing downtown at the Jane Street Theatre, called Hedwig And The Angry Inch, and that we must pick a night to go see it, as soon as humanly possible, because it was going to change my life.

We went, and she was right. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen on a stage. It was sort of a rock show; there was a multi-media component with the stage, but it was a play with a beginning, middle and an end. I was seventeen and a freshman in college in the biggest theatre-city in the United States, from a small town…and it blew my mind. It resonated for me in a way nothing had ever and nothing has ever since.

“Hedwig” was made into a feature film that I enjoyed immensely, but nothing duplicates the eccentric electricity of seeing it on stage. Beautifully, it forces empathy for sad, passionate and brilliant Hedwig, who is (partially) transgendered and searching for a place in a society that doesn’t quite know what to do with her. Both the movie soundtrack and the original cast recording are really incredible.

Joe Starr

One shall stand, one shall fall…

On behalf of geeks everywhere, I’d like to apologize to our readers that no one has given the correct answer to this discussion yet: TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE. No Michael Bay to be found here: it is the year 2005 and the treacherous Decepticons have conquered the Autobot’s home planet of Cybertron. But, from secret staging grounds on two of Cybertron’s moons the valiant Autobots plan to take back their homeland. And they plan to do so with the POWER OF STAN BUSH.

The album kicks off the most inspirational song ever written, The Touch, followed by the Ironhide killing Instruments of Destruction (this soundtrack kicking everyone’s ass was almost too easy, mighty Megatron!). All true movie soundtracks should be judged by the movie version of their theme song, and Lion’s version of Transformers is more than meets your eyes. And your face. And your god damn soul. Do you need more lifting up? The second most inspirational song ever written, Stan Bush’s Dare is be your hero. It will hold you up when you’re feeling down. It will make you smile in times of darkness. It will pull a triplechanger’s cannon out of the way so that you can avoid a swift death outside of Autobot City when you’re outside of Autobot City facing a swift death at the hands of a triplechanger. All of this plus Weird Al and Vince DiCola’s score makes the rock of this soundtrack stronger than unleashing the power of the Matrix. Also, I like Transformers.

“Come at me, bro!” Jonathan guests on Clevver Media’s “That’s a Wrap”.

by Jonathan

If you guys by the comments on Youtube, the “That’s a Wrap” fans like Michael Bay’s Transformers movies. They just want to punch Jonathan. Who doesn’t?

Jonathan was a guest on today’s “That’s a Wrap” with Josh Ovenshire, Matt Jones and host Tatiana Carrier. They talked about Michael Bay’s produced TMNT getting a director, Michael Bay himself getting another Transformers movie and Twisted Metal coming to the screen. Also, what game should make the leap to film?

Feel free to throw in your 2 cents below on that topic and whether or not you want to punch Jonathan.