Retroactive Thinking: 10 Years of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs

by SaintmortAugust 22, 2013

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to write. However for years it was only movies I had an interest in. I would watch TV all day and plan out sequels to my favorite movies. My desire to write anything other than a movie was nonexistent. I hated school reports, wasn’t a fan of books and had no interest in writing for newspapers or doing reviews. Until the summer of 2005.

I graduated high school in 2004. Like most college freshmen I didn’t know what the future held for me, and like most college freshmen I befriended the most important people in my life that year. It was during my freshmen year of college I became good friends with a casual acquaintance Jeff.

Jeff was a quiet guy who went to art school and read like a fucking machine. When I say a quiet guy I literally mean that the first time Jeff and I had a conversation was in March (we began hanging out in October). Jeff was the person who first told me about Chuck Klosterman (and specifically the book Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs). Being the amazing sales person he is I remember how he convinced me to read the book. We sat in a 24 hour diner, he was smoking his cigarette and Say Anything… came up. In the middle of the conversation he said “You should read Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. The first chapter the dude swears that Say Anything… is the reason he’s single.”

That was good enough for me. However when I got to the bookstore they didn’t have any copies of it, they did have Klosterman’s newest book Killing Yourself To Live. I ordered a copy of Sex, Drugs and purchased Killing Yourself in the meantime. I loved the book and almost immediately upon finishing it the book store called me informing me my copy of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs had arrived.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs became the first book I read twice in a 3 month period. I read that book over the summer. That fall semester I discovered my pop culture textbook was Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.

Perhaps it was reading it a second time so quickly but it became a seasonal thing for me after that. I would read the book on an average of 3-4 times a year. It’s not a coincidence that I began writing for Geekscape that same year. Klosterman’s unique way of discussing pop culture suddenly sparked an interest of not just writing movies… but writing about movies (and music, and books, and celebrities, and serial killers, etc).

The influence of Klosterman’s style has affected most writer’s style. Just looking at some of my fellow Geekscape writers I can tell who has read Chuck’s books. He does an amazing job of convincing you to believe his opinions are absolute fact and his comedic delivery.

What I loved about this book and have continued to love about it is that regardless of if you agree with his opinions you tend to enjoy what you’ve read. I’ve disagreed with a lot of Chuck’s opinions, but I love journey of him explaining and trying to convince me. I don’t give two shits about Basketball or Soccer but I’ve read both essays multiple times and absolutely loved them each time.

It’s particularly difficult for me to discuss this book. There’s no story but I will say that there are at least 5 essays that I find myself constantly referring to and quoting it. For those who have never read this book I will use those 5 chapters in order to convince you it’s worth buying.

1. THIS IS EMO

This was the opening chapter that I spoke of earlier. In it Chuck discusses the fact that no one has ever experienced love. Nobody knows what love is, we only know what we think love is because of what movies and music have told us. He calls out John Cusack (for his character of Lloyd Dubler) and Coldplay (for their nonsense lyrics) specifically for distorting our ability to understand love. This essay inspired me to write a script about pop cultures effect on our idea of true love. Klosterman’s conclusion is that since songs and movies never show us the moments of a relationship where people are just hanging doing nothing romantic we feel like we’ve fallen out of love with someone when our relationships become regular and simple.

2. EVERY DOG MUST HAVE HIS EVERY DAY, EVERY DRUNK MUST HAVE HIS DRINK

In this essay Klosterman discusses how Billy Joel isn’t cool and that’s part of what makes him great. This essay made me realize that the most important albums and songs in Joel’s career are all built around an overwhelming element of sadness. Joel is a depressed everyman and the sadness shines in every song lyric. This essay convinced me to buy all of Billy Joel’s albums (beyond the greatest hits albums I had) and quickly made him one of the favorite artists. So Warning… reading this book might make you a Billy Joel fan

3. APPETITE FOR REPLICATION

There’s not a ton to discuss here. The Essay is just extremely fascinating. Klosterman tells us the time he went on “tour” with a Guns N Roses tribute band Paradise City. While Klosterman admires them for being able to look and sound like Guns N Roses what he’s most amazed with is how wreckless they are. At one point he even muses that this band cares more about Guns N Roses music than Axl Rose or Slash.

4. PORN

In that college class I had to write my final paper arguing if I agreed or disagreed with this particular essay. It’s hard to argue with Chuck’s logic for the most part. In this essay he deduces that since the most popular types of porn are amateur and that many of the stars of online porn aren’t beauty queens that women should be glad internet porn exists as it’s makes average beautiful again. To quote Klosterman “Now the girl-next-door could literally be the girl next door”.

5. THE AWE-INSPIRING BEAUTY OF TOM CRUISE’S SHATTER TROLL-LIKE FACE

If not for this chapter I’d have never discovered some of my favorite films. This chapter inspired me to check out Vanilla Sky and Waking Life. I have frequently found myself randomly reading this chapter (as well as the Billy Joel chapter). Perhaps it’s due to my love of music and film but I think it’s more than that. I like music but I love the songs of Billy Joel and while I like film, I love the movies he discusses in this chapter. There is something great about a well-written “what is reality film”. The best thing about a well made ‘What is Reality film?’ is revisiting them, finding pieces of the puzzle that you missed the first time around. I also find it really interesting that this essay only exists because of (a) a poor food choice and (b) an old Entertainment Weekly magazine in Chuck’s bathroom.

This is the hardest essay I’ve had to write since my Jim Henson article almost 5 years ago. The fact is that this book hasn’t just inspired me to write for websites, it’s inspired me to have an analytical approach to the world. I don’t simply watch a movie, read a book or listen to an album… regardless of how good or bad any of those things are, I dig deep to find the greater good… the message and the social importance.

Fuck you Chuck Klosterman… I can’t just shut off my brain anymore and enjoy something mindlessly because of you. I sincerely hate and appreciate you for it.

Coldplay’s Will Champion Joins Cast Of ‘Game Of Thones’ Season Three

by Shawn MaddenNovember 6, 2012

According to The Huffington Post, Coldplay’s drummer Will Champion will appear in the third season of Game Of Thrones, Champion shouldn’t have much trouble playing this role due to the fact that he will playing… well, a drummer. The site doesn’t have any more info on his character.

Due to the fact that HBO has been looking for musicians to film a large party scene for the third season could they be filming the significant and controversial chapter from George R.R. Martin’s third novel known as the “Red Wedding”? Guess we’re going to have to wait and find out.

The Geekscape Staff Roundtable: Our Favorite Movie Soundtracks

by GeekscapeStaffFebruary 27, 2012

Movie soundtracks. They’re the soundtrack to our lives… so for this week’s roundtable, we checked in with our writing staff to find out what their lives ideally sounded like.

Eric Diaz

What it sounds like when doves cry…

In my opinion, Prince’s soundtrack to his 1984 movie Purple Rain isn’t just the greatest movie soundtrack of all time, it is one of the greatest albums of all time, period. I admit, the movie itself is fairly terrible overall, but remains totally watchable today as a kind of pop culture/ fashion time capsule. Not to mention, about 50% of the movie is on stage performances from Prince and others, and that helps A LOT. But the album is another story all together: from the spoken word opening of Let’s Go Crazy (“Dearly Beloved…”) to the final fading melancholy strings of the title track, all nine songs on this album are pure pop perfection. Spawning four top ten hits and two number ones (“Let’s Go Crazy” and “When Doves Cry”) Purple Rain showcases Prince and the Revolution at the very peak of their musical powers.

Back in 1984/85, everything associated with this soundtrack turned into radio gold. It didn’t even matter if the songs from the album were even released as singles, many got massive radio play just the same. Even Erotic City, the B-Side to Let’s Go Crazy, got significant play. The two songs performed by Morris Day & the Time included in the movie became hits, as did Apollonia’s Sex Shooter, and none of these were even considered good enough by His Royal Badness to actually include on the actual final album release. While many consider Prince’s 1987 double album Sign O’ the Times to be his crowning achievement, the truth is there are still a couple of filler tracks on there. Purple Rain however, is lean mean perfection from start to finish. Over the past twenty eight years, I’ve owned it on vinyl, cassette, CD, mp3 and will probably have it directly downloaded straight into my brain one day.

Random Trivia: Track #5, Darling Nikki, was considered so obscene that it caused Tipper Gore to form the Parents Music Resource Center which is why you have all those annoying black and white Parental Advisory labels on your albums today.

Ben Dunn

When his mind’s made up…

One of the best soundtracks that comes to mind for me is from the little indie that could, Once. The movie is billed as a modern-day musical, but it’s not the traditional type with the characters breaking spontaneously into song. Instead you characters that are actually musicians trying to create music together. And boy does it ever do its job. The feelings that are expressed in the lilt of Glen Hansard’s voice and the way it mingles with Marketa Irgolva’s is heart breaking. Listen to the main theme or “Falling Slowly” and if it does not move you I would definitely go to the doctor and check to see if you have a heart.

Matt Kelly

Stands outside and yells at the rain…

Over the years Garden State has become the go-to joke for ‘Hipster movie’ and ‘Indie by Numbers’, but for me it’s always been an important movie. It reflected my post-high school, pre-college worried and concerns and became a huge comfort to me. The soundtrack is no different. Each song is so lovingly picked for each sequence. They all fit in the context of the scenes and flow beautifully on the album. My favorite track is the somber I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You by Colin Hay. I’d never heard of him before this album but the song made me go out and purchase more of his music and he’s now one of my favorite artists of all time. Whenever I’ve had a rough day I can still put on the Garden State Soundtrack and relax.

Molly Mahan

Understands who makes the rockin’ world go round…

When it comes to best film soundtracks THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. With original music (and a few covers) by Queen, Highlander is the clear winner. It has no rival. No other collection of sound can be its equal: 26 years have passed since it was given to us and it is still the future of sound. From the epic “Princes of the Universe” (later used as the opening theme to the TV show) to the somber power ballad “Who Wants to Live Forever?” (Which I plan to have play at my funeral), the Highlander soundtrack is rife with music for any occasion and it’s bound to make your day better.

It also shows what kind of lasting power a soundtrack can have on a film. I mean, seriously, without music written and performed by Mercury, Taylor and May, where would Highlander be? The soundtrack is so blindingly amazing that not only does it make me forget the horrible experience that is the film proper, but I will rewatch it constantly and proclaim it as one of the greatest movies of all time. It’s just amazing. Not to mention that hearing Freddie Mercury halfhearted cry of “Bring on the girls!” makes me smile every time I hear it. It truly is A KIND OF MAGIC. So, GIMME A PRIZE, my fellow Geekscapists, as I do my best Kanye impersonation and proudly state that I’m gonna let you finish, but Highlander’s soundtrack is the greatest soundtrack of all time!

Shane O’Hare

Loves this Monday to Friday soundtrack…

Snakes on a Plane gets my vote for BEST movie soundtrack. It is one of the most odd amalgamations of music I have ever heard. The opening track is a scary, snakey sounding piece written by Trevor Rabin of YES fame. And then things get odd.

The main hit single by Cobra Starship, Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) was my ringtone all throughout my Junior year. It has a freakishly fabulous guitar riff and the best line in musical history ever: “We got a free upgrade for snakes on a plane/Fuck ’em, I don’t care.” Next, we have not one but THREE remixes by Tommie Sunshine of popular 2006 radio hits from Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy and The Hush Sound.

Then the Teddybear Remix of The Academy Is takes the mediocre existence of that band and elevates it to next level status. Then out of literally Nowherevilles, a township of Leftfield County, Cee-Lo Green drops an original track about the fear of snakes aptly called Ophidiophobia which includes a chorus only Cee-Lo could sing: “Send me an angel, an angel/No sign of the times, instead I’ll take it to mean I’m a stranger, to danger/But I’m scared ’cause I swore I saw a snake on a plane”.

SOAP soundtrack is HANDS DOWN the best movie OST on the planet. Feature epic original tracks, crazy ass remixes and epic genre flip flopping. Where else are you going to hear “Final Snakes” by Shranky Drank? HMMM? WHERE?

Noel Nocciolo

Still trying to make ‘fetch’ happen…

Clueless is the blueprint, in motion-picture soundtrack-form, for my music schizophrenia. Not only is “Clueless” one of my favorite movies from the 1990s, the soundtrack was my jam…and sort of still is.

The soundtrack, like the movie, begins with The Muffs’ straight-forward, solid version of Kim Wilde’s 1981 hit, “Kids In America,” a fine thesis in which to introduce Cher Horowitz.

Much like what I constantly have on current rotation in my headphones, this soundtrack is all over the place. And yet somehow it works. There are gorgeous acoustic versions of Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” and Counting Crows’ cover of The Psychedelic Furs’ “The Ghost in You,” and randomness from the Beastie Boys and Coolio. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones make an appearance in the movie as themselves, playing two songs at a frat party; one is on the soundtrack. My favorite track, which I think holds the most water in current times with regards to the evolution of what we (probably) now call “indie-rock” is “Alright” by Brit-pop group, Supergrass. I find myself listening to that cut about once a week.

The first day of classes at Fordham University, I met Rachel, whom I still count as one of my closest friends. Soon into our friendship, she told me about this incredible off-Broadway musical that was playing downtown at the Jane Street Theatre, called Hedwig And The Angry Inch, and that we must pick a night to go see it, as soon as humanly possible, because it was going to change my life.

We went, and she was right. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen on a stage. It was sort of a rock show; there was a multi-media component with the stage, but it was a play with a beginning, middle and an end. I was seventeen and a freshman in college in the biggest theatre-city in the United States, from a small town…and it blew my mind. It resonated for me in a way nothing had ever and nothing has ever since.

“Hedwig” was made into a feature film that I enjoyed immensely, but nothing duplicates the eccentric electricity of seeing it on stage. Beautifully, it forces empathy for sad, passionate and brilliant Hedwig, who is (partially) transgendered and searching for a place in a society that doesn’t quite know what to do with her. Both the movie soundtrack and the original cast recording are really incredible.

Joe Starr

One shall stand, one shall fall…

On behalf of geeks everywhere, I’d like to apologize to our readers that no one has given the correct answer to this discussion yet: TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE. No Michael Bay to be found here: it is the year 2005 and the treacherous Decepticons have conquered the Autobot’s home planet of Cybertron. But, from secret staging grounds on two of Cybertron’s moons the valiant Autobots plan to take back their homeland. And they plan to do so with the POWER OF STAN BUSH.

The album kicks off the most inspirational song ever written, The Touch, followed by the Ironhide killing Instruments of Destruction (this soundtrack kicking everyone’s ass was almost too easy, mighty Megatron!). All true movie soundtracks should be judged by the movie version of their theme song, and Lion’s version of Transformers is more than meets your eyes. And your face. And your god damn soul. Do you need more lifting up? The second most inspirational song ever written, Stan Bush’s Dare is be your hero. It will hold you up when you’re feeling down. It will make you smile in times of darkness. It will pull a triplechanger’s cannon out of the way so that you can avoid a swift death outside of Autobot City when you’re outside of Autobot City facing a swift death at the hands of a triplechanger. All of this plus Weird Al and Vince DiCola’s score makes the rock of this soundtrack stronger than unleashing the power of the Matrix. Also, I like Transformers.