For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to write. However for years it was only movies I had an interest in. I would watch TV all day and plan out sequels to my favorite movies. My desire to write anything other than a movie was nonexistent. I hated school reports, wasn’t a fan of books and had no interest in writing for newspapers or doing reviews. Until the summer of 2005.

I graduated high school in 2004. Like most college freshmen I didn’t know what the future held for me, and like most college freshmen I befriended the most important people in my life that year. It was during my freshmen year of college I became good friends with a casual acquaintance Jeff.

Jeff was a quiet guy who went to art school and read like a fucking machine. When I say a quiet guy I literally mean that the first time Jeff and I had a conversation was in March (we began hanging out in October). Jeff was the person who first told me about Chuck Klosterman (and specifically the book Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs). Being the amazing sales person he is I remember how he convinced me to read the book. We sat in a 24 hour diner, he was smoking his cigarette and Say Anything… came up. In the middle of the conversation he said “You should read Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. The first chapter the dude swears that Say Anything… is the reason he’s single.”

Sexdsghdf

That was good enough for me. However when I got to the bookstore they didn’t have any copies of it, they did have Klosterman’s newest book Killing Yourself To Live. I ordered a copy of Sex, Drugs and purchased Killing Yourself in the meantime. I loved the book and almost immediately upon finishing it the book store called me informing me my copy of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs had arrived.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs became the first book I read twice in a 3 month period. I read that book over the summer. That fall semester I discovered my pop culture textbook was Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.

Perhaps it was reading it a second time so quickly but it became a seasonal thing for me after that. I would read the book on an average of 3-4 times a year. It’s not a coincidence that I began writing for Geekscape that same year. Klosterman’s unique way of discussing pop culture suddenly sparked an interest of not just writing movies… but writing about movies (and music, and books, and celebrities, and serial killers, etc).

The influence of Klosterman’s style has affected most writer’s style. Just looking at some of my fellow Geekscape writers I can tell who has read Chuck’s books. He does an amazing job of convincing you to believe his opinions are absolute fact and his comedic delivery.

What I loved about this book and have continued to love about it is that regardless of if you agree with his opinions you tend to enjoy what you’ve read. I’ve disagreed with a lot of Chuck’s opinions, but I love journey of him explaining and trying to convince me. I don’t give two shits about Basketball or Soccer but I’ve read both essays multiple times and absolutely loved them each time.

It’s particularly difficult for me to discuss this book. There’s no story but I will say that there are at least 5 essays that I find myself constantly referring to and quoting it. For those who have never read this book I will use those 5 chapters in order to convince you it’s worth buying.

sayanything

1. THIS IS EMO

This was the opening chapter that I spoke of earlier. In it Chuck discusses the fact that no one has ever experienced love. Nobody knows what love is, we only know what we think love is because of what movies and music have told us. He calls out John Cusack (for his character of Lloyd Dubler) and Coldplay (for their nonsense lyrics) specifically for distorting our ability to understand love. This essay inspired me to write a script about pop cultures effect on our idea of true love. Klosterman’s conclusion is that since songs and movies never show us the moments of a relationship where people are just hanging doing nothing romantic we feel like we’ve fallen out of love with someone when our relationships become regular and simple.

2. EVERY DOG MUST HAVE HIS EVERY DAY, EVERY DRUNK MUST HAVE HIS DRINK

In this essay Klosterman discusses how Billy Joel isn’t cool and that’s part of what makes him great. This essay made me realize that the most important albums and songs in Joel’s career are all built around an overwhelming element of sadness. Joel is a depressed everyman and the sadness shines in every song lyric. This essay convinced me to buy all of Billy Joel’s albums (beyond the greatest hits albums I had) and quickly made him one of the favorite artists. So Warning… reading this book might make you a Billy Joel fan

Guns-n-Roses-guns-n-roses-589484_655_475

3. APPETITE FOR REPLICATION

There’s not a ton to discuss here. The Essay is just extremely fascinating. Klosterman tells us the time  he went on “tour” with a Guns N Roses tribute band Paradise City. While Klosterman admires them for being able to look and sound like Guns N Roses what he’s most amazed with is how wreckless they are. At one point he even muses that this band cares more about Guns N Roses music than Axl Rose or Slash.

4. PORN

In that college class I had to write my final paper arguing if I agreed or disagreed with this particular essay. It’s hard to argue with Chuck’s logic for the most part. In this essay he deduces that since the most popular types of porn are amateur and that many of the stars of online porn aren’t beauty queens that women should be glad internet porn exists as it’s makes average beautiful again. To quote Klosterman “Now the girl-next-door could literally be the girl next door”.

vanilla-sky-mask

5. THE AWE-INSPIRING BEAUTY OF TOM CRUISE’S SHATTER TROLL-LIKE FACE

If not for this chapter I’d have never discovered some of my favorite films. This chapter inspired me to check out Vanilla Sky and Waking Life. I have frequently found myself randomly reading this chapter (as well as the Billy Joel chapter). Perhaps it’s due to my love of music and film but I think it’s more than that. I like music but I love the songs of Billy Joel and while I like film, I love the movies he discusses in this chapter. There is something great about a well-written “what is reality film”. The best thing about a well made ‘What is Reality film?’ is revisiting them, finding pieces of the puzzle that you missed the first time around. I also find it really interesting that this essay only exists because of (a) a poor food choice and (b) an old Entertainment Weekly magazine in Chuck’s bathroom.

This is the hardest essay I’ve had to write since my Jim Henson article almost 5 years ago. The fact is that this book hasn’t just inspired me to write for websites, it’s inspired me to have an analytical approach to the world. I don’t simply watch a movie, read a book or listen to an album… regardless of how good or bad any of those things are, I dig deep to find the greater good… the message and the social importance.

Fuck you Chuck Klosterman… I can’t just shut off my brain anymore and enjoy something mindlessly because of you. I sincerely hate and appreciate you for it.

Axel Braun knows his market well. Geeks love superheroes, and it seems like in this internet ruled age, everbody loves pornography. Mix the two, and what do you have? Probably a big bag full of money and a crowdful of fans!

Axel’s been a friend to Geekscape for quite some time, and he was kind enough to give us an exclusive first look at his latest XXX offering: She-Hulk XXX: An Axel Braun Parody. Check out the trailer below, and let us know what you think!

Axel of course has many of superhero parodies under his belt, including (but not limited to): Superman Vs. Spider-Man XXX, Avengers XXX, X-Men and Wolverine XXX, and many more!

Thanks for the exclusive Axel! 

She’s hot, she’s mean, and…she’s green! Undisputed porn parody king Axel Braun and adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment finally bring to life one of the most beloved comic book heroines, and who better than world-famous former WWF wrestling superstar Chyna to portray her? Sexy, funny, and outrageously entertaining, “She-Hulk XXX: An Axel Braun Parody” will be available on DVD and on vivid.com in February 2013.

Long time Geekscape pal Axel Braun sent the word today that work has begun on a third sequel to the popular Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. The original film (believed to be the biggest budgeted adult film in history) shattered sales records to become the best selling adult DVD ever. 

What better time to announce? Everything Star Wars has been big news this week after George Lucas sold his company to Disney for a whopping 4.05 billion in cash and stock. Interest in the franchise hasn’t been this high for some time, so this was an absolutely wonderful marketing move.

People love porn, and people love Star Wars (well, some of them), so I’m sure a lot of folks are excited to hear that we’ll be getting another amalgamation of the two. Including the just announced Episode VII, we’re set to receive three more titles in the Star Wars XXX universe (with the next one releasing this coming September)!

Excited? Have you seen the first film? If not, here’s a (safe for work) trailer!


Longtime Geekscape friend Axel Braun today sent us word of his latest project, and it’s sure to please comic fans a porn viewers alike!

Superman Vs Spider-Man XXX is Axel’s follow up to This Ain’t The Expendables XXX, and is a parody of the gigantic 1976 crossover event of the same title (minus the XXX of course).

The trailer is hilarious, so check it out below! Remember it IS SAFE FOR WORK, so be sure to show all your colleagues and clients! The full feature is scheduled for release next month.

Thanks for the exclusive Axel!

We just got word a few hours ago that Cynthia Rothrock was in talks to appear in the all-female Expendables. It looks like Hustler Entertainment got the jump on this one however, as their XXX parody is set to release later this month!

Geekscape friend Axel Braun produced and directed This Ain’t The Expendables XXX, set to release on September 30th. It features a variety of adult actresses (as seen below), including Tera Patrick in her first role in over six years.

The film will also be in 3D! Now we’ve just got to ask… “where was our set invite on this one, Axel!?!”

This Ain't The Expendables

It’s a Deadman’s Party as the producers and star of the fan film “Requiem for a Deadman” join Tim and Sax. Producer and AVN Award Winner Nicki Hunter (“Naughty Office 19”) and  writer/star Wes Calimer (“Cutting Veggies”) discuss their labor of love and the hard road they encountered bringing Arnold Drake’s and Carmine Infantino’s baby to live-action. We discuss the relation between pornography fans and comics geeks (there isn’t much) as well as the benefits of kickstarter versus sponsorship. Learn what it takes to create a live-action version of a fan favorite comic book.

In a world full of crimpers and side-ponytails, Kyle Reese (Brendon Miller) and Sarah Connor (Bailey Blue) fight side by side to bring down the Terminator (Dick Delaware) in this yet to be released Hustler film, This Ain’t The Terminator XXX.

Through awkward mishaps and a high body count, will Kyle and Sarah be able to link access ports long enough to produce John Connor?  What happens when The Terminator receives his very first lap dance?  Exactly how many Sarah Connors are there in Los Angeles?  These questions and more will be answered in The Terminator XXX!

The Terminator XXX also stars Julez Ventura, Billy Glide, Alex Gonz, and Julia Ann.

Two movies came out this past week, both to great financial success that few saw coming. Both the male stripper movie Magic Mike and raunchy comedy Ted exceeded expectations, and yet as different as both of these films are, it struck me that neither movie would exist in their present form if it wasn’t for a certain film that came out fifteen years ago this October named Boogie Nights. Magic Mike cribs almost its entire plot structure (as well as certain scenes outright) from Boogie Nights, and because of the success all those years ago of this movie, Mark Whalberg went from being a pop culture punchline much like Vanilla Ice to a respected and bankable actor and eventual Oscar nominee. And all because of one low budget flick about making porn in the swinging 70’s San Fernando Valley.

Boogie Nights was like lightning in a bottle, with all the right elements coming together in just the perfect way, from script to cast to score. Written and directed by a then 25 year old Paul Thomas Anderson, the film was based on his own short film he made at the age of 17 called The Dirk Diggler Story, a mockumentary about the rise and fall of a John Holmes-esque porn star in the 1970’s and 80’s. Always having had an obsession with the films of the 1970’s 16mm porno heyday, Anderson used the short film he made as a teenager as the basis for Boogie Nights. The core of the story was still the rise and fall of Dirk Diggler, but the cast extended to several other characters in the X rated movie business as well, and became an ensemble piece. It also became, at least in my humble opinion, one of the greatest movies of the 1990’s.

Boogie Nights attempts and succeeds at both being an intimate character piece as well as a snapshot of a certain time in America. In the early to late 70’s, before the age of home video, X-rated movies were shown in real movie theaters, not just porn theaters, and it wasn’t just horny single guys who went to see them. For a brief time in this country, it was trendy for couple to go see the newly legal pornography on the big screen together on date night. Movies like Deep Throat and Behind the Green Door were among the highest grossing movies of their respective years of release; not just highest grossing X rated movies mind you, but highest grossing movies period. Amidst all the character drama, Boogie Nights chronicles the end of this era of porn as quasi legitimate film, before it became disposable VHS product with low production value for mass consumption in the 1980’s, which of course led to the “everyone’s a porn star as long as they have a computer” world we live in today.

It isn’t to say Boogie Nights wasn’t appreciated in it’s day, because it certainly was. Boogie was nominated for multiple Oscars, (for Burt Reynolds and Julianne Moore most notably) and made a decent return on its  $15 million dollar budget. $43 million may not seem like a lot of money by today’s standards, but fifteen years ago for a nearly three hour R rated epic about the porn industry in the San Fernando Valley to make that much was a pretty big surprise to almost everyone. And yet it feels that unlike movies like Pulp Fiction, Heat, The Usual Suspects and other ensemble movies from the 90’s, Boogie Nights doesn’t quite get the recognition it deserves today (although not too long ago, Empire Magazine readers voted it #152 on their 500 greatest movies of all time list, so someone out there other than myself feels as strongly as I do) So in honor of the film’s 15th Anniversary, here are just a few reasons why I think Boogie Nights is one of the best and most influental films of the past couple of decades, and why if you haven’t seen it already you should do yourself a favor and Netflix this sucker today.

The Cast

I first saw Boogie Nights when it was released theatrically back 1997, and I remember being completely blown away by it. I remember that I  just sat their in my seat dumbstruck, way past the credits rolling, realizing I’d just witnessed a movie I felt was surely destined to be a classic. I’d barely seen any of the cast before in any movie that I could recall (with a few exceptions, most obviously Burt Reynolds and William H. Macy) but I knew that if there was any justice in this world, every single actor in this movie would go on to greater stardom and success.

Turns out they just about all did; the careers of almost the entire principal cast was pretty much made by Boogie Nights. Prior to Boogie, almost everyone had steadily worked in movies before, but with most of the cast, you can view their careers today as Pre-Boogie Nights and Post-Boogie Nights. Of course, no other member of the cast was effected more than one Mark Whalberg.  It turned him from a has-been pop star and late night talk show punchline into a serious actor to contend with. Prior to this movie, Whalberg was best known as one hit wonder Marky Mark, and as a Calvin Klein underwear model. He attempts at acting ranged from the bad (Renaissance Man) to the decent (Basketball Diaries) to the absolutely ridiculous, most notably 1996’s Fear, a kind of Fatal Attraction for the 90’s MTV generation, remembered today mostly for a scene where Whalberg finger bangs a young Reese Witherspoon on a rollercoaster to the song Wild Horses. Seriously, that happened once.

Boogie Nights easily had one of the best ensemble casts of the past twenty or so years.

Originally meant to star a young Leonardo Dicaprio in the lead, when filming for Titanic interfered with Boogie, he suggested his buddy and Basketball Diaries co-star Mark Whalberg as his replacement. Titanic ended up making Dicaprio a superstar, and Boogie Nights gave Whalberg legitimacy as an actor, so I’d say it all worked out for the best. Although Whalberg didn’t get an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Dirk Diggler, he was instantly hailed by every movie critic just about everywhere, and no one joked about “Marky Mark trying to act” ever again. Well, if they did, they weren’t taken seriously anymore. The former street thug turned rapper turned underwear model proved to the world he had serious acting chops.

Julianne Moore was another actress who had worked steadily in Hollywood for years, but it was her Oscar Nominated portrayal as porn star Amber Waves that really set her career on fire. Much like Whalberg, you can look at her career now simply as pre and post Boogie Nights. The same applies for Don Cheadle, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Thomas Jane, Heather Graham, and John C. Reilly; Even bit players like Broadway actress Joanna Gleason, who has little more than a cameo as Mark Whalberg’s crazy mother, and Alfred Molina, as speedo wearing drug dealer Rahad Jackson, shine in their all too brief moments in the movie.  If one were to make a movie with this cast today, the budget would be pretty enormous. But back in ’97, no one knew who almost any of these actors were, except for some hardcore fans of indie films. I don’t think it is overstating it to say that all these actors owe a tremendous debt to Paul Thomas Anderson and to Boogie Nights. 

Of course, not everyone’s career fared so well post Boogie; seen as a casting coup for the film of course was getting 70’s icon Burt Reynolds, who played porno patriarch Jack Horner. Reynolds’ career had hit the skids by the 80’s, and Boogie was seen as his big comeback. When Reynolds first saw a rough cut of Boogie Nights, he hated it so much he fired his agent. However, after it received rave reviews from the critics (not to mention both Golden Globe and Oscar nominations for him) he was persuaded to go on a radio promotion tour by director Paul Thomas Anderson. Apparently, PTA hogged the spotlight so much in interviews that about a week into the tour, Burt punched him in the face and quit doing any press for the movie. Burt had been slated to play the part of sex guru Frank TJ Mackey in PTA’s follow up film Magnolia, and instead the part went to Tom Cruise, for which he ultimately received an Oscar nomination. While the rest of the cast’s careers soared after the release of the film, Reynolds seemingly squandered his comeback mojo with another string of bad movie choices that returned him to obscurity. Maybe firing his agent wasn’t such a good idea. Still, his performance in the film arguably remains his best performance in anything to date.

The Soundtrack

While a lot of other movies about the same era simply used whatever songs were on the Hot 100 radio charts at that particular moment in time (movies like Summer of Sam and 54 both spring to mind) Boogie Nights wisely understood that in real life, people listen to music from all eras, not just stuff that’s recent and on Top 40 radio. While the soundtrack to Boogie has plenty of the disco hits from the era that you would expect to hear, it also has just as many songs from earlier times. And every song on the soundtrack, from the Beach Boys’ classic God Only Knows to lesser known songs like Do Your Thing and Magnet and Steel, accompanies every scene they are used in to perfection. And there has never been a better use of cheesy 80’s power ballad Sister Christian in anything, ever. (Sorry Rock of Ages) Geeks everywhere also owe a special debt to the film for reviving interest in the wonderfully cheestastic The Touch by Stan Bush from the original animated Transformers movie, used to hilarious effect in Boogie Nights by wanna be rock star Dirk Diggler.

The Refreshing Lack of Moralizing About Sex

While the film certainly portrays the excesses of the era, especially when it comes to drugs, and correctly points out the that most people who make their living in pornography often have certain issues in their past that lead them to choosing sex as their profession (especially back then, a lot less so today, when everyone’s a porn star) it never condems the pornography itself as being bad or wrong or sinful in any way. No one is “saved” from porn at the end of Boogie Nights, if anything it shows how for some people, porn is what saved them. Because really….what else was Dirk Diggler going to do for a living? For a Hollywood movie to be so non judgementel about sex is still almost unheard of.

It Introduced The World To PT Anderson

Although the little seen movie Hard Eight was director Paul Thomas Anderson’s first film ever released, it was Boogie Nights that really put him on the map with both critics and audiences. The fact that someone so young at the time could make something this brilliant was only a sign of greater things to come. At least two of his next three following movies are outright masterpieces (Magnolia and There Will Be Blood) and his upcoming thinly veiled expose on the world of Scientology The Master is one of my most anticipated films of 2012. Without the success of Boogie Nights, it is quite possible none of these would have ever happened, and as lovers of film we’d all be worse off for it. PT Anderson is simply one of those “once in every generation” type of talents.

PT Anderson on the set of Boogie Nights in 1996.

So there you have it– if you haven’t seen Boogie Nights in years, or if you haven’t seen it ever, then again, do yourself a favor and rent it. More likely than not you’ll be glad you did. And if you were thinking of paying real money to see Magic Mike, I heartily recommend saving your money and watching Boogie Nights instead. You’ll thank me for it later.

 

For years now I’ve been seeing announcements for super hero porn parodies ranging from Avengers XXX to Superman XXX to you name it. Of course, they’re all straight porn, so while I don’t judge, as a gay guy, I also kind of don’t care. It seemed like there would never be gay porn super heroes for the likes of me.

Well, according to Bleedingcool.com, this is about to change. Rob Black, director of the recently announced Birds Of Prey XXX, appears to be making baby steps towards just that. Said to be inspired by recent mainstream headlines about Alan Scott being the first gay Green Lantern, Black will feature a gay G.L. in the upcoming Justice League XXX 3D production, played by gay porn star Adam Killian. I have strong suspicion he will be in the Hal Jordan persona and not the Alan Scott one…just call it a hunch. The best part is he is planning a scene with Green Lantern and Nightwing together. Kind of an odd choice (shouldn’t it be Green Lantern’s BFF Flash?) but I’ve always had a thing for Nightwing so I’m OK with this. I usually have zero use for studio porn, but if they start making more gay super hero ones I’ll have to change my tune.

NOT future gay Green Lantern Adam Killian, but I kinda wish it was.

Apparently is this is received well, more will come. It seems strange to me that a gay scene is being shoe horned into a straight porn, but I’ll bet real money that half the guys who buy this and who tell people they’re gonna skip past that scene are gonna watch it very first thing. You know who you are.

Set within the same universe as Vivid’s very successful Spider-Man XXX and their upcoming releases, She Hulk XXX, Thor XXX & Iron Man XXX, director Axel Braun’s Avengers XXX combines the separate films into the beginning of a larger tale.

As news reports begin to flood in about the destruction being caused by an unknown entity, Agent Nick Fury (Lexington Steele) decides it’s time to go public with S.H.I.E.L.D and gathers together his superhero taskforce in order to combat this new menance.

The problem is, the “unknown” entity is actually the ragin’ and rampagin’ Incredible Hulk (Jordan Lane).

After Iron Man (Dale Dabone) attempts to subdue him on his own and fails, Fury realizes he needs to call on bigger guns… like the son of Odin, Thor (Brenden Miller) and a mystery hero who will be revealed at the end of the film.

Also working on Fury’s taskforce are the Scarlet Witch (Dani Cole), Ms. Marvel (Lexi Swallow), Spider-Woman (Jenna Presley), She Hulk (Chyna), Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee), and Hawkeye (Eric Masterson).

Among these heroes, we’ll see the naughty team-ups between Ms. Marvel and the Scarlet Witch, Black Widow and Hawkeye, She Hulk and Thor, and other surprise moments. This’ll certain be be better than most erotic fan “art”.

I visited the set on a day scheduled for two sex scenes: the Black Widow/Hawkeye pairing and the She Hulk/Thor pairing. Watching the painstaking work of the make-up artists as they transformed the wonderfully sweet Chyna into sassy She Hulk and being able to see the amount of work put into the some of the sets was incredible.

So please enjoy our Geekscape exclusive shots from the set of Vivid’s latest superhero parody, Avengers XXX!

Starting here...
...to get to here.
Stop, it's hammer time? (Brenden Miller)
Take one Hawkeye (Eric Masterson)...
Add in a bit of Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee)
A dash of sound guy (a dashing sound guy?)
A teaspoon full of camera dude. (Ew, no.)
And that's how porn is made.

Avengers XXX is set to release on May 4th, 2012.

Warning! This episode has a ton of sex talk in it! Satine Phoenix is an artist, sculptor, roleplaying game enthusiast and model. She invited me to be a part of a fundraising D and D gaming event and I thought it was long since she should have come on the show to talk Dungeons and Dragons,  her former career as a stripper and porn actress and her own writing and artwork. Why not have her on to talk about this fundraising event? Also, she talks all about the scandal of purposefully bringing women by the Geekscape booth at Comic Con to try and ruin Jonathan’s life!

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