Buffy The Vampire Slayer

90s TV Hour Episode 11 – Musicals!

by RifferellaMay 22, 2017

In which Jenny loses her shit due to endless audio problems and, with the help of her fellow podcasters, figures out a solution.

She’s also joined by fellow stage buddies Stephen and Chris to discuss some great musical episodes of two essential 90s shows.

A HUGE THANKS to:
Lyle from Amazing Advertising
Tyler from TalkingFail
Simba from Tennessexee
Dan from Dan and Kody

I’m not giving up, so please don’t give up on me and thanks for sticking around!

Due to the technical difficulties, there isn’t much about Saved by the Bell but we cover the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at great length.

Episodes Reviewed:
Saved by the Bell (S4E20) Snow White and the Seven Dorks
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (S6E7) Once More With Feeling

Commercial:
Sock Em Boppers

https://soundcloud.com/90s-tv-hour/90s-tv-hour-episode-11-musicals
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Theme song: Pond5 “Heavy Electric Guitar Riff”

Don’t forget to have a great night!

The 13 Best ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ Monsters-Of-The-Week!

by scottevilJuly 24, 2015

Hulu recently added the complete Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series to its expansive library, and of course, my mind went straight to my favorite Monster of the Week episodes. For better or worse, I love Monster-of-the-Week episodes, mainly because they are self-contained stories. I particularly appreciate that they are heavy on action and light on interpersonal drama, which has a penchant for getting thick in Sunnydale normally. So, without further exposition, let’s talk about our 13 favorite monsters!

13 – Sunnydale High Swim Team (Go Fish, S2E20)
The first two seasons of Buffy used tons of monster tropes from the 1940s and 50s, often turning the concepts on their heads, and Go Fish was no exception: sea monsters and Soviet science projects! The swim coach and school nurse are inadvertently transforming the team into gill men, and of course Xander is the one member of the Scooby Gang that almost gets mutated. Not the first or last time the poor guy got used like a ragdoll by the writers. For example…

12 – Miss French (Teacher’s Pet, S1E4)
Who didn’t have a crush on that one teacher in high school? My English teacher, who will remain unnamed, was one such object of teenage affections, though I don’t think she was actually a 7-foot-tall praying mantis. As with Go Fish, this episode took liberties with a couple of 1950s horror tropes in the best possible ways. Dangers of sex, horny teens ignoring that internal voice telling them they’re going to get eaten by the substitute teacher, and a nice little gotcha ending, though it irks me that the remaining egg was never brought back in a later episode.

11 – The Gentlemen (Hush, S4E10)
I know, I know, Hush is the second-best Buffy episode ever (behind Once More… With Feeling), so why is it so low on this list?? As much as I like the episode, I don’t love the creature design of the Gentlemen. Maybe it’s Slenderman oversaturation, or too many poorly-written creepypastas about grinning monsters, but it doesn’t exactly send chills up my spine. Regardless, the episode is fantastic, disturbing in its lack of sound, and deserved every award it received.

10 – The Bezoar (Bad Eggs, S2E11)
Similar in theme to Teacher’s Pet, but with much creepier monsters, Bad Eggs follows the gang as they pretend their monster eggs are babies, get their energy sucked out of their faces while they sleep, then get full-on controlled by the gross little beasts before Buffy takes a pickaxe to the mother Bezoar’s eye. I know this episode got me to practice safe sex, so I think it did its job.

9 – Hyena people (The Pack, S1E6)
Poor Xander. Never accepted by his high school brethren, except when they’re killer ghosts, mantis ladies or possessed by wild animals. I like the idea of the Pack, but some of the acting is pretty wooden, even with an added first-season handicap (because really, most of Season 1’s acting is atrocious). I also dig that the Pack was an actual threat – I mean, they ate the school mascot AND Principal Flutie! This was also an early example of how the writers weren’t shy about knocking off main and second-tier characters. What of the 4 teenagers who committed murder and cannibalism, and ran off when the possession was lifted? Xander remembered everything he did, so I’m assuming the others did too. That fact makes this one way darker.

8 – Ronnie/Sluggoth demon (Beneath You, S7E2)
By the last couple seasons, the Monster of the Week episodes were few and far between, so it was refreshing to get one so early in Buffy’s final season. Even if Ronnie was just turned into a Graboid by a re-vengeanced Anya, and there’s a lot of dramatic interludes between the estranged Scooby Gang, the creature subplot stands out in an otherwise drama-heavy season.

7 – Ted (Ted, S2E11)
Let’s ignore the more depressing later Joyce Summers episodes and bask in the glory of her robot suitor, John Ritter. A good chunk of Buffy episodes include a level of ambiguity around her seeing evil when it’s just human nature, but it usually turns out she’s right. I guess that’s the downside (or perk, maybe?) of living on a Hellmouth – if something appears sinister, it probably is. This is another episode that harkens back to the 1950s, so of course it pleases me. And come on, it’s got John Ritter!

6 – Gachnar (Fear, Itself, S4E4)
My favorite of the Buffy Halloween episodes! Fear, Itself boasts a haunted house, somebody ELSE turning invisible (sorry Xander), a 4”-high Cenobite wannabe, and an introduction to Anya’s crippling bunny phobia. This might be the most fun-filled episode on the list, but there are still a few more nastiest left.

5 – Der Kindestod (Killed by Death, S2E19)
Remember earlier when I said creepy smiles don’t bug me? I take it back; Der Kindestod is terrifying. Look at that mug and tell me you’d be okay waking up with that staring down at you. Did I mention he sucks your life force through retractable eye-stalks? Eeeeuuuugh. I was pretty relieved when Buffy snapped his neck.

4 – Queller (Listening to Fear, S5E9)
One of 2 lamprey-type monsters featured in the show (and this list), the Queller wiggled out of a meteorite and went bonkers around town, feeding on Sunnydale’s mentally unstable hospital population. Even Buffy’s mom got a faceful of demon phlegm. Not my preferred method of shuffling off this mortal coil, but to each his or her own.

3 – Gnarl (Same Time, Same Place, S7E3)
Gnarl is disgusting. One little scratch from his gross coke-nail and you’re paralyzed, a stationary buffet of skin for him to peel off strip by strip. The creature design plus his peculiar feeding habits solidifies this one’s spot near the top of the list. While it might have been nice to have another go-round with this creep, it’s probably for the best (and my sleep cycle) he only made it 40 minutes into a 45 minute show.

2 – Wig Lady (Doublemeat Palace, S6E12)
While I’d admit that she’s less disturbing than Gnarl, the Wig Lady from Season 6’s Doublemeat Palace is my all-time favorite Monster of the Week. This is partially due to the surprise reveal and creature design, but I’m also a terrible sucker for Soylent Green tropes and, ahem, eat that sort of thing up. Doublemeat is double-sweet!

1 – Glarghk Guhl Kashma’nik demon (Normal Again, S6E17)
And for the #1 slot, the criminally-overlooked demon from the mind-bending Normal Again. I can see why, though: its creature design is similar to the Polgara demon from Season 4 (which also sported an extendable bone-like stinger in its arm), and the episode itself turns the entire show inside out, depending on your interpretation. The crux of the story is whether Buffy’s entire life as Slayer, fighting demons and saving the world, is a delusion she has chosen over life as a patient in a mental hospital. It’s never implicitly stated which version is “real,” but the moment she says farewell to her mother and chooses the Slayer-verse is a major tearjerker. The monster doesn’t need to be incredibly memorable, because the point of the episode is which life is real, and whether Buffy chose the right one.

So, do you agree with this list? Who were your favorite Buffy monsters? Sound out below!

Geekscape Interviews: Amber Benson, author of ‘Witches of Echo Park’

by Eric FranciscoJanuary 14, 2015

“Echo Park is this magical world and I wanted people to get lost in it.”

That’s what author and Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Amber Benson told me about her new book, The Witches of Echo Park, while signing at Midtown Comics in downtown New York. My life’s scenery has been predominantly New Jersey and its malls, exits, pork rolls, and diners, so I felt compelled to learn a little about the still-foreign land that is southern California, never mind that I have been to Comic-Con.

The first installment of a planned series, Echo Park follows 20-something Lyse who returns home to Los Angeles to be with her terminally ill great-aunt Eleanora, the woman who raised her. With her time running out and a looming threat rising, Eleanora brings Lyse into her underground world of magic and sorcery and bestows her leadership of her coven. It’s a total 180 from her comfortable new life in Georgia for sure.

When I first heard of Witches of Echo Park I was kind of unimpressed. It reeked of tween fantasy for a more experienced crowd, targeted to women who grew up reading Harry Potter and are now post-grad/in grad school living on their own. Books are art and art is for everyone, target demos be damned, but I just didn’t think I could relate to it. Still, I kept an open mind as I opened the attached excerpt in my email.

An hour later, I’m frantically hitting the right key refusing to acknowledge I just finished the last page.

Accompanied by my best friend and some new pals I met on line (all of them Buffy fanatics), I sat down with Amber Benson herself, who told me she had a great time doing the Geekscape podcast a few days before. You remember that, don’t you?

http://instagram.com/p/xuxMmhAN0a/?modal=true

The Witches of Echo Park isn’t your first book, but what inspired your venture into writing? Did you maybe write something as a kid that started those gears turning in your head?

Amber: I wrote a lot of really bad poetry as a kid. We’re talking like, “the flower is dead, just like you and me someday,” just ridiculous, gothic, bad bad poetry. But I was reader. I was a book whore. Even now, I read constantly. Even at 38, I’m still a book whore! But that is what inspired me to write, I would get lost in books. They were magic to me. To sit down and read a book and travel to a new world and meet these characters and feel connected to them just saved me in my childhood and adolescence. That is why I wanted to write, because I wanted to do that for somebody else.

Mind if I ask what your favorite book of all time is?

Amber: Oh my gosh, my favorite book of all time? That’s really not fair!

It’s a hard question.

Amber: That’s a really hard question. I’m a big Dostoyevsky fan. Probably The Idiot by Dostoyevsky is my favorite book of all time. It’s my go-to favorite. I know it’s random, weird thing. [laughs]

What specifically inspired specifically Witches of Echo Park? How did you come to blend fantasy with southern California? And why Echo Park?

Amber: Echo Park is my hood. And I spent a lot of time wandering around. I like to take long, hike-y walks. Hike-y walks. Is that a real thing? A hike-y walk?

I think so. You’ve written enough to invent stuff now.

Amber: [laughs] There’s something just really magical about that neighborhood. You walk down Sunset Boulevard and there’s really hipster coffee shops and sort of nestled in between them are these botánicas where you can walk in and get spells. I’m not kidding you, real spells and saint’s candles, and Aqua Net hairspray, which I never quite understood why that was there.

I remember, you wrote that in the book.

Amber: Mmm mm. And then you walk up and down these stair streets. They’re stairs that have street names, and houses that you can only access via these stairs. There’s no way you can get to them via car. You have to go up the stairs to get through to these adorable little bungalos with magic fairy lights. There’s just something super magical about that place. If you go to the top of Echo Park Avenue there’s this swing. It’s just an empty field, a tree, and a swing hanging from the tree, and it’s like, “This is where memories go.” And it looks out all over Water Village and Glendale and it’s just absolutely gorgeous and magical. And that’s my hood! I wanted other people to know how beautiful and wonderful it is.

How much of the book can you describe as autobiographical? Aside from the obvious witches and fantasy elements, of course.

Amber [laughs] That’s the real stuff! I am magic! Just so you know, Eric.

So this is a memoir?

Amber: This is a memoir. I am magic. I do magic. I give magic. [laughs]

How much is autobiographical in the sense of how much of you is in Lyse or Eleanora?

Amber: It’s so funny. I didn’t realize how much of me was in the book until I was with my therapist. [laughs] And we were talking about it, and she was like, “So basically you’re telling me this is like, a lot of this is your…” and I was like, “Oh, my, God.” I wouldn’t say that I’m Lyse or Eleanora or any of the characters specifically, there are pieces of me in all of them. And a lot of the characters, pieces of them are based on people who lived in my neighborhood. My group of ladies. Not that any of them are them, wholly, but I stole pieces and put them in the characters.

But a lot of the stuff with Eleanora and Lyse and the coming-home aspect, of accepting your fate and figuring out who you are and owning that, that’s a big part of who I am and what I’m trying to do with my life. I see it in the other series, like the Calliope Reaper-Jones books, but there’s a part of me that has to learn to own that I am who I am and I don’t need to hide my light under a bushel, or be uber-humble so people like me or be freaked out by some of the stuff that I do. You have to own who you are. Just because I’m doing this awesome stuff and I’m happy in my life doesn’t mean I don’t want other people to be happy. There’s room in our lives for all of our lives to shine. Me just owning who I am inspires other people to go, “You know what, I’m awesome, and what I’m doing is really cool and I want other people to be a part of that.”

It’s tough being a woman. You’re taught that you’re supposed to be humble and not own who you are. You’re supposed to just be meek. And I don’t want to be that way. I want to go, “You know what? I’m fucking lucky to do what I do, I get to write what I want and I got to be on this amazing show, and I’m just gonna own it.”

You certainly have people who love you for that.

Amber: That was just a meandering way of saying these books are just ripped from my home life, apparently. [laughs]

Lyse is about to have some massive responsibilities dropped on her shoulders. What kind of journey are we about to embark with her? How will she, as a 21st century post-college grad, accept that she is supposed to lead a coven of witches?

Amber: [laughs] There’s a big, over-arching plot line that will play out more in the next couple of books. It sort of involves covens all over the world and this sort of corporate, sort-of religious group called The Flood, basically trying to bring about the end of days. They want to wipe the slate clean, they don’t like the magic and things happening.

Hence “the flood.” Very ominous.

Amber: Yeah. So Lyse is going to play a very big part in that. It just goes beyond a coven, it becomes fighting this sort of corporatized vision of religion trying to decimate the world.

The title is Witches of Echo Park, but how far will Lyse’s journey take her? Will we be seeing ethereal planes, spiritual worlds, or will it all be in Echo Park?

Amber: We’re going to be on the Earth. [laughs] But we are going to be bigger than Echo Park. We’re not going to be going to Middle Earth or anything like that.

You’ve built new mythologies several times, be it Calliope-Reaper Jones or Ghosts of Albion. These are entire worlds and you’re the architect. How do you maintain order in the chaotic creative headspace?

Amber: I walk softly and carry a big stick, as Teddy Roosevelt used to say. [laughs] I keep document files of all the information. I hopefully keep things. I have a great editor who is on top of it and copy editors that make sure I’m doing what I need to be doing and not making gross misjudgments with plot and structure. So, I have a team that help me keep it in order.

A little about Buffy if you don’t mind.

Amber: Sure!

You played a pop culture icon in Tara. You brought a face to LGBTQ youth to the world stage. Even today the struggle for equality continues. How do you feel about being this kind of iconic figure for almost a whole generation?

Amber: I feel like Alyson and I were both really lucky to play these characters and got to bring this relationship to life. I’m not a religious person, but the word “blessed” comes to mind. We opened the door, you know? Not just us, it was a group effort, there were a lot of people working to make this happen, but there needed to be representation in pop culture. The LGBTQ community needed to be represented. Those characters needed to be three-dimensional, real characters. And I think, we, and Joss, opened the door. Or kicked it in a little bit, actually. And I’m so honored we got to do that. I feel very blessed to walk in their shoes.

You’ve also built an audience with modern fantasy. After Echo Park, what other genres are you seeking to explore? For example, would you perhaps pen a sci-fi story?

Amber: I would love to write sci-fi. I’m a big hard sci-fi fan. I’m a big Neal Stephenson fan. I would love to write something of that milieu, that would be amazing.

What is Witches of Echo Park ultimately about, and what is it about to you? What is it about Lyse and her journey that you want to tell the world?

Amber: It’s a prodigal child story, about coming home and owning who you are and accepting that we’re all special. Not trying to hide it, not trying to be humble about it, but saying, “I am special because I am human, because I am here, and I am willing to be open to this world.” And that is Lyse’s journey, to be open to this magical world and willing to become the better version of herself.

Thank you so much. I hope New York treated you well.

Amber: New York is awesome, always.

The Witches of Echo Park is available now. You can keep up with Amber Benson on Twitter, and listen to her on the Geekscape podcast talking with our fearless leader Jonathan London.

The Saint Mort Show Episode 112: Chelsea Christer

by SaintmortJanuary 9, 2015

This week I sat down with Chelsea Christer the brains behind the The Matches documentary. We talk about what the band means to her, the way she got started in filmmaking and her Dr. Who.

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Geekscape 348: Amber Benson Casts A Spell On Us!

by JonathanJanuary 6, 2015

Amber Benson arrives on the Geekscape show to talk about her brand new novel “The Witches of Echo Park”! We talk to Amber about writing, what her literary influences are and of course ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’! What are the dangers of doing a 3 hour Reddit AMA? What is her best and worst exchange with a fan? And just how sexual a book is “The Witches of Echo Park”? Things get a little raunchy as Ben geeks out and we all go a little blue! I recommend ‘Essex County’ to Amber and she talks about her cinephile love of ‘Nights of Cabiria’! Yes! It’s THAT weird of a Geekscape… and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

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Geekscape 335: Linus of Hollywood and Nerf Herder!

by JonathanOctober 6, 2014

Geekscape arrives at TradioV for brand new weekly episodes! Joining us on these new adventures are co-host Kenny Craig and longtime Geekscapist Ben Dunn! First up, we’ve got our good friend Linus of Hollywood, in studio and playing songs off his new album ‘Something Good’! Linus is also a part of Nerf Herder, so Parry and Steve call up to say hello and talk about the upcoming Nerf Herder album and how you can be a part of it! Also, Kenny talks about almost attending his high school reunion and Linus warns Jonathan not to “fuck it up”… but of course he figures out how anyways! It’s an all new Geekscape… just like old times!

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Michael Reeves Is Heading To Cannes To Raise ‘Blood Kiss’ Awareness!

by Derek KraneveldtMarch 26, 2014

Briefly: Back in May of last year, we featured an incredible project called Blood Kiss in our ‘Crowdfund This’ column. By the end of its campaign, Blood Kiss had surpassed its Kickstarter goal by more than $38’000! Pretty amazing, right?

Now, with production set to begin this Summer, Blood Kiss creator Michael Reeves (who did a lot of work on a ton of amazing projects, including Batman: The Animated Series), along with the film’s production crew are heading to the Cannes International Film Festival in France to help market his vampire-themed film.

The film has been getting much attention in part because award-winning author/screenwriter Neil Gaiman (who needs no introduction here), will be making his acting debut in the film. Also joining the team will be acclaimed comic book artist Tom Mandrake who will create original artwork for the film.

Mandrake even drew Jonathan's character in the show. — Mandrake even drew Jonathan’s character in the film.

On the trip, Reaves said that he’s “thrilled to bring our vision for ‘Blood Kiss’ to Cannes and bring it one step closer to fruition. So far we’ve received a lot of support for the film and we want to bring some of that energy to this great film festival.”

Blood Kiss is set in 1940s Hollywood with a classic film noir tale of a sexy jazz singer in distress and a private investigator who gets a little more than he bargained for when he takes on a case involving mysterious vampires.

If you’re looking for more from the film, you should definitely check out Geekscape 292, producers Daniela Di Mase and Leah Cevoli chat with Jonathan about the film. We’re unbelievably excited that Michael and everyone involved are able to make the film a reality, and we really can’t wait to see more.

Excited for the movie? Be sure to sound out below!

Geekscape’s Zack Haddad Announces ‘Arcane Beatz’ Kickstarter!

by pandazackJuly 1, 2013

Hey everyone, Zack Haddad here (pandazack on the forums). Wanted to take a second to tell you all about a new project that has engulfed my everything. It’s called Arcane Beatz and it is a 10 episode web series I am making in San Diego about a DJ named Marick who uncovers a secret order of musicians who since the Dark Ages have been walking this earth fighting demons who take on human form. These musicians are called Bards and not only are some of the most prolific musicians part of this order (Kurt Cobain, Jannis Joplin, Jimmi Hendrix, and Buddy Holly to name a few) they are also the only line of defense against a slew of demons stemming from different cultures and ideologies.

Arcane Beatz originally started out as just an idea in my head about making a film noir about an electronic DJ solving mysteries and stuff. And then one day I thought to myself…um duh demons and monsters should totally be in this also.

All of the demons in this show will be based on actual demons in mythology. So not only do we have Gorgons and Succubi from Greek Mythology, we also have Celtic Wood Nymphs and Norwegian Viking Demons. I really love the work of Guillermo del Toro for his use of practical monster effects in some of his older films. So I wanted to take that love and craft my own takes on popular creatures and still pay homage to some other things I really dig (did I mention I’m a fan of Buffy?) The guy who did the monster make up is my buddy Vince Niebla and he shares the same sort of passion I do. Check out some of this stuff we did for the Kickstarter video for yourself:

The initial head cast for the main demon.

Vince Niebla applying final makeup to Viktor (Brian Boettcher)

The Demon Carter played by Xavisus Gayden

We shot the teaser for Arcane Beatz back in February on a really cold Friday night. The crew really stuck together and we ended up shooting until the next morning. I definitely hadn’t done something like that since college but the end result was worth all of that shooting and eventual post-production that went into it.

I’m not ready to divulge exactly how we did some of the effect but soon we will be launching some FX rundowns on our Kickstarter page so you should stay tuned to that one.

Our hero Marick (Alex Robinson) going through a test run with the demons.

The music in Arcane Beatz will be from all over the place. Marick is an electronic DJ in the vein of Flying Lotus or Justice but we plan on showcasing a slew of local acts. We are also writing an original score. Some of which can be found in our teaser.

If this is something you are interested in getting involved in, I would love to hear from you. Outside of backers, we also need people to fill crew positions (grip/electric, makeup, fight choreographer) so email us at arcanebeatzmedia@gmail.com.

You can check out the whole kickstarter campaign HERE. Its a little long for my taste so stick with it. I think you’ll enjoy it.

Talk of this web series has already gotten the attention of local news. Click here to check out the piece done on the series HERE.

Thanks for taking the time to check out all this stuff. Please leave your comments or join us on our several levels of social networking:

Facebook: Arcane Beatz Fan Page

Instagram:@arcanebeatz

Twitter:@arcanebeatz

Geekscape 292: Talking Blood Kiss With Leah Cevoli and Daniela Di Mase!

by JonathanJune 1, 2013

‘Blood Kiss’ is an upcoming Vampire Noire film from television writer Michael Reaves, that stars Neil Gaiman and Amber Benson! Yes, Neil Gaiman is acting in it! After successfully hitting their Kickstarter goals, producers Daniela Di Mase and Leah Cevoli arrive on Geekscape to talk about the project’s stretch goals as well as what a “Vampire Noire” is in the first place! Daniela talks about getting Neil involved in the project and Leah shares her love of all things vampires! Oh, and I kind of give Leah a hard time about her vampire teeth while asking if I can have a special role in the film!

Cool thing from the episode: After listening, comic book and Blood Kiss artist Tom Mandrake drew this picture of me in my starring role:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:09 — 22.5MB)

Crowdfund This: Michael Reaves’ ‘Blood Kiss’

by Derek KraneveldtMay 15, 2013

With talent like this, I wonder just how quickly Blood Kiss is going to hit its goal.

Emmy Award winning writer Michael Reeves has developed an ambitious new film project, but he (and everyone else involved) needs your help if the feature is ever going to see the light of day. The project is called Blood Kiss, a ‘Vamp Noir” film (an entirely new genre) that revolves around detective Joe Belicek, who must solve the murder of a vampire before a deranged killer murders them all.

Inspired by Film Noir, Blood Kiss is set in 1940’s Hollywood, and already has some fantastic names attached to it. Blood Kiss will feature the acting debut of the incredible Neil Gaiman, who had some fantastic words to say about the film’s script:

“Michael sent me the script. I told him, “it’s a terrific script.” and he said, “I want you to act in it.” I replied “There’s nobody else I would act for.”

Blood Kiss will also star writer/director/actor Amber Benson, who is no stranger to vampire media after spending three years as Tara Maclay on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It’s easy to see that Blood Kiss is going to be phenomenal, so let’s help the project get made! The Blood Kiss Kickstarter launched earlier today, and in just a few hours has raked in over $7000. There are some some amazing rewards up for grabs for anyone that contributes to the film, including digital downloads, posters, Blu Rays, premiere tickets, and much, much, more. If Blood Kiss sounds like your cup of tea, head to Kickstarter and pledge, pledge, pledge!

Watch the project’s Kickstarter video below, and don’t forget to check out Blood Kiss on Twitter and Facebook! We’ll be sure to keep you updated on this one as the campaign continues, and as we learn more about it!

Mark Rahner Brings Biting Satire To ‘Vampirella vs Fluffy The Vampire Killer’

by Molly MahanOctober 22, 2012

In this month’s Vampirella vs. Fluffy the Vampire Killer, writer Mark Rahner continues his series of Vampirella one-shots, taking Vampi into the worlds of current vampire fandoms. Previously, in Vampirella Annual 2, we witnessed Vampirella venture to the fictional city of Spoons, where she went to a convention for Gloaming, the in-universe equivalent of Twilight, and battled the fans and characters of the franchise (based, in part, by Rahner’s own experience in Forks, WA). This time , Vampirella is pitted against a satirical version of the much beloved pop-culture alluding, cheer leading, vampire slaying Buffy Summers. And. It. Is. Awesome.

Granted, my lack of love for Joss Whedon is well documented, so it may be hard for me to not actively fangasm all over this particular book for poking fun at the Buffyverse. That said, I do believe any Whedonite who can take a light jab at his or her fandom will thoroughly enjoy this book as much as anyone who isn’t all that familiar with the Slayer and her universe. Which is to say: a lot. It truly is a book for just about anyone, except maybe children (there’s a sufficient amount of blood and gore) and die hard religious conservatives (but they don’t read comics, right?).

Here’s the gist of the story: Vampirella goes undercover as a teacher (cue: multiple jokes and references to Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher) at a high school that is located right on top of an occult portal to Hell (insert: snide comments about government and improper use of tax dollars). Luckily for the town, peppy Fluffy and her friends Xtanley and Sallow, along with her Minder Miles, all attend or are employed by the school and therefore have been able to handle the supernatural situation up to this point. However, a new group of demonic (im)Puritans are mutilating the sexually active members of the student body in order to unleash the wrath of a greater demon, who gets his power from sexual repression, onto the world. And as “Abstinence Education Week” is in full swing at the school, there’s a lot of pent up sexual frustration going on. Whatever shall the teen-aged vampire killers do?

In addition to Fluffy and company, Whedonites may even be able to spy their beloved creator hidden somewhere in the story, as well.

The dialogue is plenty clever, even with—or perhaps because of—the forced puns and dated music and film references. I found myself genuinely laughing and giddy throughout. Even so, my favorite line is actually an on-the-nose statement about feminism, particularly reactionary to Whedon’s brand of female hero.:

After countless jabs from Fluffy regarding Vampirella’s scanty costume, Vampi finally states, “Empowerment means I can wear whatever I want and kill anyone who has a problem with it.”

While killing isn’t exactly an option in the real world, the sentiment is understood. Clothes, or lack thereof, should not be the focus or the excuse of any attacks on a person (from slut shaming to “forcible” rape). But that’s a different article entirely.

Like all satire worth its salt—and any decent horror story—, Vampirella Vs. Fluffy the Vampire Killer is more than just wildly entertaining. It addresses serious real world problems, as well. While playfully jabbing at the Whedonverse, critical hits are dealt to the United States’ ultra-conservative movement’s war on education and sex via the “Abstinence Week” setting, the demons’ M.O., and even a line of dialogue from Sallow that is poignant and painful in retrospect. It’s too much of a spoiler to disclose here, so pick up the book. Seriously. I’d love to discuss the themes further.

Finally, the art. While Nick Bradshaw‘s cover serves its purpose, interior artist Cesar Razek (Zorro) is pitch perfect, rendering gorgeous, in addition to some truly gruesome, images. While Vampirella, Fluffy, et al, are of course comic book beautiful (as are the men in the story), his style here is decidedly not cheesecake, which is always a relief. I love my female heroes and I will defend to the death (in true Voltaire fashion) their honor and right to style to any non-comic reader or slut shaming jerk, no matter the artist or the writer. Nevertheless, it certainly makes my job easier when I don’t have to do so in view of 20 consecutive panels of pure T&A and back breaking poses. So thank you, Mr. Razek for that. I hope to see your art again in the near future.

If you are looking for something fun and bloody, clever and violent, all the while remaining culturally relevant, then Vampirella vs. Fluffy the Vampire Killer is most certainly the book for you this Hallowednesday (see what I did there?).

Vampirella vs. Fluffy the Vampire Killer is out Oct. 24 from Dynamite Entertainment. Look for it at your local comic book shop!

Dark Horse to Release Buffyverse Sampler

by Molly MahanOctober 11, 2012

So you like Buffy, you love Joss Whedon, but for whatever reason you never made the jump from the television show to the comic book, and now you feel that it’s too late to join in on all the fun. Well, Dark Horse, the publisher who cranks out the continuing adventures of your favorite Slayer and her inept friends, hopes you’ll give them a chance and potentially hook you as a reader on January 23, 2013, with the release of the Buffyverse Sampler.

In addition to the first issue of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9 (yes, I know Buffy had 7 seasons aired, but it’s been a comic book since 2007. Catch up on season 8 in the trades, if you haven’t already), the sampler will include the full first issues of Spike, Angel & Faith, and Willow.

In total, there will be 96 pages of 1st issue shininess, at the low cover price of $4.99. So, Whedonites and Buffers (or whatever it is you call yourselves) assemble and pick up a copy of the Sampler. Be it for yourself or, like some kind of sick crank dealer, for a friend who just doesn’t quite understand your love (no, don’t order a copy for me).

Also, it features this cover by C. L. Bradley. Now I know you want it.

SDCC Panel Round Up Part 2: Green Arrow, Joss Whedon, Breaking Bad, He-Man & More

by Eric DiazJuly 19, 2012

Being a veteran of twelve consecutive Comic Cons now, I know the drill when it comes to the big rooms, those being Hall H and Ballroom 20. The two panels I wanted to see the most that Friday were Joss Whedon and Breaking Bad, both which were back to back in Ballroom 20. So like a well trained Comic Con geek, I got in line for that room a good two and half hours early.Turns out, I didn’t need to. I walked in Ballroom 20 literally two hours early and sat through two panels I had no intention of sitting through, but were ultimately worth watching. The first being the CW’s presentation of the pilot for ~~Green~~ Arrow.

Green Arrow, Pilot Presentation

So even though I’m a hard core DC Comics freak, I gotta admit I’ve never really followed Green Arrow much, although I know enough of him through reading years and years of Justice League comics. So while I’m no Oliver Queen expert, I’ll say that I know more than the average bear. And while I gotta admit I wasn’t blown away by anything in the Arrow pilot that I saw, I didn’t really hate it either. I guess I saw enough to warrant setting my DVR for at least the first handful of episodes come Fall, and then we’ll see if I give up entirely or not, like I did with Smallville.

The pilot is your basic origin story, where we see spoiled rich Oliver Queen end up on a mysterious island for five years after a ship wreck, during which time he learns to be a bad ass archer, not to mention also learns humility. It all seems only marginally better than other CW shows, but unlike say, the un aired Wonder Woman pilot, this feels like Green Arrow more or less done right. So while there is lots of room for improvement, It can improve. I have to say though, obvious uber hotness aside, I was less than impressed with our new Green Arrow Stephen Amell. He just kind of had than bland delivery that left me cold; it seemed to me the guy was cast for his face and his abs and that’s about it. Apparently, he was the first person to audition for the producers, and when they saw him, they just said “we have our guy” Uh, yeah, I really think they needed to audition more people. Just sayin’.

Also on the panel was Katie Cassidy, formerly of Supernatural and Melrose Place 2.0, who plays Laurel Lance. Now, comics fans like me know that in the comics, Green Arrow’s girlfriend is none other than Black Canary, AKA Dinah Laurel Lance. Was the omission of her first name supposed to make us think they cast Katie Cassidy to be anyone other than Black Canary in the future? Really guys? I actually liked her in the pilot, and think she’d make for a decent Black Canary, just not sure it would be in this particular project. The producers teased that other DC characters would be appearing (we already know that Deathstroke will, at some point) but they wouldn’t say who. Like I said, I’ll DVR this show for a bit, but it’ll have to be better than what I saw here for me to keep doing so long term.

Entertainment Weekly Presents Women Who Kick Ass

As a geek and a feminist, this is a panel I’m glad I attended, even if I only ended up there due to wanting to make sure I had a seat for the next two panels in Ballroom 20. Entertainment Weekly brought together some of geekdom’s current reigning women in genre television and movies, and it was quite an assemblage. The panel featured Kristin Kreuk (Beauty and the Beast, Smallville), Nikki Reed (Twilight), Sarah Wayne Callies (The Walking Dead), Anna Torv (Fringe), Kristin Bauer van Straten (True Blood), and surprise guest, Xena herself Lucy Lawless.

True Blood’s Pam, Kristin Bauer van Straten (possibly the series’ best character, or at least the most fun) came out in her wrecked canary yellow Wal Mart sweat suit (fans of the show will get this little in-joke) to much applause.The Walking Dead’s Sarah Wayne Callies was asked about her future on the show, considering that (SPOILERS) in the comic book version of Walking Dead, her character Lori meets a grisly fate. She answered “You don’t walk into this show thinking ’25 years and a pension!’ Someone then asked what is the most important issue concerning women today, which frankly left most of the panel like they were put on the spot, realizing no matter what they said, they’d change their minds about it later. Lucy Lawless stole the show though, as she retold the story of how she was arrested in February after she and other activists protested aboard an oil-drilling ship in New Zealand, and she then told the audience that she’s not sure what will happen to her during sentencing on Sept. 12, but admitted, “I am guilty — of trying to save the environment!” Warrior Princess indeeed.

Fringe’s Anna Torv and True Blood’s Kristin Bauer van Straten at the Women Who Kick Ass panel.

Dark Horse Presents: Joss Whedon

Now this is the panel I was actually waiting for while sitting through the other two. I’ve been a hardcore Whedonite for well over a decade, since Buffy and Angel were fighting their weekly battles on the WB Network (RIP) And, of course, I also loved Firefly/Serenity. But add to that Joss Whedon’s run on Astonoshing X-Men, Fray, Dr.Horrible’s Sing- A- Along Blog and even to a ceratin extent Dollhouse, just based on all that alone I’d worship forever at the geek altar of one Joss Whedon. There is simply no one else out there in the pop culture landscape who knows how to combine pathos with sly wit, drama with real stakes and off the cuff humor like Whedon. Others try, and most fail.

And 2012 alone has been a banner year for Joss. Let’s be honest, he’ll probably never have another one like it, between the critical success of Cabin in the Woods and the enormous global success of Avengers. He also just finished filming a low budget version of Much Ado About Nothing, fulfilling one of his dream projects. In short, It is good to be Joss Whedon right now. As a fanboy going back now almost (gulp) fifteen years, it has made me thrilled to see him finally achieve mainstream success.

Before Joss took to the stage, Dark Horse editor Scott Allie took to the podium to promote Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9, which Joss Whedon is the executive producer and occasional writer of, and also the Angel and Faith series which falls under the Buffy Season 9 banner. To the happiness of much of the crowd in Ballroom 20, Allie announced the return of Firefly to comics, in the first official continuation for those characters since Serenity came out in 2005. Joss Whedon will be co-writing this one with his brother Zed Whedon.

Joss Whedon holds court at Ballroom 20, wearing a Much Ado About Nothing shirt.

Then the man himself came out to thunderous applause, and deadpanned “Well it’s been an interesting year” He mentioned that he had just finished post production on Much Ado, and for the first time, had also written the score for it. “It’s a very important project to me and I can’t wait to show it to you, though I’m not sure yet how that’s going to be. If no studio picks it up, check iTunes!” I’m pretty sure he was only half joking there. He then announced his next project, which was greeted with pretty thunderous applause, the long awaited Dr. Horrible 2. After the cheering died down for this one, he talked about how he’s been working on it for about two years, and already has “a bunch of songs…we know exactly where we’re going, I can’t wait to tell you more about it.“The last major announcement at the panel was about his upcoming web series Wastelanders, with comic book writer Warren Ellis “I’m also going directly from Comic-Con to London to talk to Warren Ellis about Wastelanders; I’m very excited about what we’re doing and the way we’re distributing it ourself because it means we can put it out our way… and in order” (this being a jab at Fox and how they aired both Firefly and Dollhouse out of their correct order)

During the Q&A, he answered questions in his usual off the cuff witty style, some of them actually good questions, like now with the success of Avengers behind him, what old projects would he return to? (answer: “I’m not actually a big “go-back” guy. Even if it’s unrealized, It’s happened, that relationship has run its course. I kind of tend to look forward. So I think the next thing I create will be something I haven’t created yet. I have some ideas, I have some thoughts” This got lots of applause “I got applause for being able to think. This is the best crowd ever. Watch, I can also walk!” Even more applause. Oh, fanboys.

Lots of silly questions were then asked by fans, some even about the Zombie Apocalypse and what not, but a fan finally asked “What has stood out to you the most personally that you’ve worked on? to which Joss responded “Hopefully something I haven’t written yet! But I think “The Body” is the best episode of television I ever wrote” (Writer’s aside: I concur. Buffy episode The Body is the best thing he’s ever written.) Of course, at any panel Joss does, someone asks him about his love for strong female protaganists, and if they’re still perceived differently in the entertainment industry. The answer was something of a femenist mini-rant from Whedon; “When Buffy had been on for three years, we started pitching the animated series that never went anywhere and literally got “well she has to have a male counterpart who’s just as cool as her or we won’t do it” (They never did do it) “Until recently the industry said that about movies too, but then you get The Hunger Games. The industry will never change it’s mind until the public makes them.

When asked if he ever wanted to make a Broadway musical, after the success of the Buffy musical episode and Dr.Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog, Whedon answered “Here’s the thing… of COURSE I do. But I have too many plans….The question is do I have the time to commit to one of the largest and most difficult projects I could ever encounter.The last question of the panel came from long time Geekscapist Ashton Lauren, who asked “You’ve given so many geek moments, what was YOUR biggest geek moment?” To which Whedon answered “My biggest geek moment? Um… My life is one endless geek moment!” Amen to that sir.

AMC’s Breaking Bad

I’m a bit late to the Breaking Bad party, I have to admit (like four years late) But after hearing rave review after rave review for the series, I finally gave in and watched the entire show over the course of the past month or so. And OH EM GEE, is this show amazing. So a special thank you to every single human who’s been telling me I need to be watching this show for the past several years, because you were so right. For those reading this who are as uninitiated as I was, Breaking Bad is writer/producer Vince Gilligan’s show about a suburban high school chemistry teacher from Albuquerque New Mexico who, upon finding he has terminal cancer and no money to leave for his family, hooks up with a burn out former student of his and begins cooking crystal meth. Telling you anything else would ruin what is an amazing roller coaster ride over four seasons of television. So Netflix this puppy already, then come back and read this, because SPOILERS for the series abound in this report.

Aaron Paul, Bryan Cranston and “baby Holly” make their Comic Con entrance.

This was Breaking Bad’s first appearance at Comic Con, and Ballroom 20 was packed with howling fans who probably were wondering what took them so long to get here (I mean, if Glee is at SDCC, where has Breaking Bad been?) Almost the entire main cast showed up, including Anna Gunn, Dean Norris, Betsy Brandt, R. J. Mitte, Jonathan Banks and finally showing up on stage in their meth cook Hazmat suits (along with a baby doll in a Hazmat suit) Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul. That alone was worth waiting for this panel. When asked about the upcoming fifth and final season, Gilligan mentioned that it was hard proceeding without the character of Gus Fring, and how hard it was for the writers to let go of a character as great as he was, but Gilligan has rebounded: “In season five, we’ve got a new king. King Heisenberg.” This, as one can imagine, got a lot of reaction from the crowd.

When someone asked about breaking the stories in the writers room, Gilligan responded that “is a very organic, living process to come up with these stories.” He then gave the example of how Jesse was supposed to die at the end of season one, but that obviously changed. (I can’t imagine the show without Jesse Pinkman) The role of Hitman Mike also expanded well beyond what Gilligan planned before casting Banks, as he was only cast because Bob Odenkirk, who plays Saul Goodman, was not available for that episode and they needed someone to fill his role of clean up guy after a crime. They loved the actor so much, Hitman Mike is now a permanent fixture on the show.

Other bullet points for season five brought up during the panel; expect to hear a lot more German than Spanish this season (remember, drug kingpin Gus Fring was bankrolled by some mysterious Germans) and that the teaser at the start of season five, episode one is their most revealing teaser yet. When asked what his season was really all about, Gilligan answered “winning, what it means to stay on top.” Gilligan then spoke of Alexander the Great, and how once Alexander conquered the known world, he wept. Cranston asks if the series will simply end on him crying. I’ll wager “probably not.”

Toy Masters and the 25th Anniversary of Masters of the Universe

After four consecutive panels, I wasn’t sure if I was up for one more…but a documentary on thirty years of Masters of the Universe was too tempting to pass up for me. When I was a little kid, between the ages of seven and twelve, I lived and breathed He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I had every toy (and I mean every toy) and my for awhile there my sheets, pillows, and curtains were all He-Man centric. My bedroom was Eternia itself. So, even though as an adult I realize there really was nothing more to He-Man that Mattel’s efforts to sell me shit, I have a soft spot in my heart for the franchise that gave us so many beloved characters like Buzz-Off (he’s a bee, get it?) and Stinkor (he smells. Brilliant!) He-Man is forever in my DNA, as mostly stupid as it all is.

The upcoming documentary Toy Masters chronicles how this weird mish-mash of Conan the Barbarian with Star Wars became one of the biggest selling action figure lines of all time, leading into a hugely successful cartoon show, spin off series (She-Ra, Princess of Power) live action stage show (The Power Tour) and finally, at the tail end of the whole phenomena, a live action movie. A trailer for the documentary was presented at the panel, and it is clear that at the heart of this movie is the ongoing King of Kong style battle between two old guys and former Mattel employees, Mark Taylor and Roger Sweet, both who claim to have created He-Man. One calls the other’s claim at creating the franchise “unadulterated, absolute barbarian fiction” -hence, the movie’s tagline.

The panel, once again moderated by Free Enterprise’s Robert Meyer Burnett, featured people like Roger Lay, Jr. (director/producer) a He-Man kid like me growing up, Gary Goddard (director of the 1987 film) and Jack and Leslie Wadsworth (live-action He Man and She Ra from the Masters of the Universe: Power Tour), Jack and Leslie, two body buiders/stunt people who met at the Universal Studios Conan/Red Sonja show in the early 80’s and got married, were He-Man and She-Ra for the nation wide Power Tour (I never got to go this; this panel brought back memories of being an angry 11 year old) Both happily married still, they seem happy about their time in Eternia, and even kept their prop swords, which they brought to the panel (awww) The Power Tour still apparently has the house record for the most consecutive sold out shows at Radio City Music Hall, nineteen performances. Crazy. But that’s how big He-Man was for about five years or so.

Most fascinating were the stories of making the 1987 live action He-Man movie, which is celebrating its 25th Anniversarry this year. Director Gary Goddard was on hand, and he talked about how both Cannon Films and Mattel desperatley needed this movie to be a hit; Cannon had sunk every last dime the company had on the movie, and were on the verge of bankruptcy. Meanwhile, in 1987 the toy sales for the line plummeted, and Mattel needed the movie to be a hit to justify continuing the line (the fact that the cartoon had ended making new episodes didn’t seem to occur to anyone for the toy line’s decline baffled me) Gary Goddard, a highly successful creator of theme park attractions going back to EPCOT and as recently as Spider-Man at Universal Florida, was brought in to direct what would be his only big screen feature film. What he ended up with was a movie with the largest Hollywood sound stage in forty years (Castle Greyskull) and then the rest shot in downtown Whittier, CA. on the cheap. According to Goddard, eveyone in Hollywood wanted to see the massive Greyskull set, including Michael Jackson, who asked if he could walk on the Grayskull throne room.

The movie ended up being a giant clusterfuck, Cannon folded and Mattel cancelled the line all together. Twenty five years later though, the Masters brand still strikes a chord in Generation X kids like me, and judging from how well the retro style Masters of the Universe Classics line is selling for Mattel to twenty and thirty somethings, I fully expect to see the line come back one day for real. In the meantime, Toy Masters is making its premiere at the Montreal Film Fest next month, and I can only hope real distribution comes soon, as this panel made me dying to see the final product even more.

Ok, come back tomorrow for my final panel report from SDCC 2012. All I can say is, next time, it’ll be shorter.

Why I Couldn’t Care Less About Joss Whedon: Confession of a Whedonaught

by Molly MahanMay 3, 2012

By this time, every Marvel fanboy and girl and self-proclaimed Whedonite is either hanging out in line waiting for the moment to watch the first “fade in” of The Avengers flick they have been waiting for since prepubescence (or since it was first hinted at in Iron Man back in 2008) or just about to step out of the theatre (time zones!). Since I am neither of those things, I am writing this article. I’ve been a DC girl for well over a decade, and I have never been a Whedonite. That’s right: I am a woman who is into geek things (who even writes about the female perspective on a geek themed website) and I could not give two shits about Joss Whedon, the man who is all too often praised for his “strong female characters” and “excellent dialogue” and his ability to “revolutionize genre”, and countless other lauds that I cannot quite wrap my head around.

Before I get started, I want to make two things clear: first, I don’t hate Joss Whedon or his work. I can’t hate someone I don’t know, and his portfolio of work is okay, even marginally enjoyable at times. But it’s not great, and its hardly revolutionary. My problem surrounding the man, for the most part, rises from his fans. Which brings me to the second: when I say “Whedonite”, I don’t mean someone who generically likes Joss Whedon’s work. I mean someone who treats you like a subhuman because you don’t like Buffy. Someone who believes that anything his name is attached to is immediately turned to gold, like he’s some branding alchemist (people like you, perhaps, if you’re reading this and already getting riled up). It’s amazing. And if someone dare to say anything about his projects besides that it was or will be the greatest of its genre, then you are labeled a “hater” by such a person. At least that has been my personal experience since the first one reared its head, and it has especially been my experience ever since I saw Cabin in the Woods last week (more on that later).

Joss Whedon, King of the Geeks? Sorry, I worship at a different nerd shrine.

Typically, seconds after his latest project is announced, my Twitter, Facebook, and e-mail light up with squeals of delight for something nobody knows anything about aside from the fact that one Joss Whedon is attached. It happened with Dollhouse, Cabin in the Woods, whichever Shakespeare movie he’s doing (because we need another adaptation of the Bard’s work), and, of course, The Avengers. Granted, The Avengers was masturbation material long before he was attached; nevertheless it was nerd Carnivale when his name was first thrown out there. “Joss won’t let us down~!” “O Joss, great and merciful, thou art Lord over Nerdom and earth! Thou can do no wrong! Blessed are we to be living in a generation that is filled with your mastercrafts!” Blah, blah, blah.

Give me a break. It’s a super hyped action movie that will, in all likelihood and probability, add nothing or take away anything from the canon it pertains to (except maybe kill a hero or other character that has no franchise awaiting him or her, but has some kind of fanbase–I’ll give you one guess who that might be). Loki’s in it, presumably as the main villain, and he’s already been announced as attached to Thor 2, so at best the big bad is going to elude the world’s mightiest heroes. Which is fine, but does not meet my standards of “revolutionary.” I’m not saying it won’t be fun: it has Robert Downey, Jr., in it after all, and he’s the essence of fun, in my ever-so humble opinion (spoiler alert: this whole article is just, like, my opinion, man).

Am I going to watch it? Of course I am. Tomorrow. I have work tomorrow, and a midnight showing for a film I’m barely invested in doesn’t sound appetizing. I’ll reserve that ticket for Expendables 2 or Dark Knight Rises.

But back to me not caring about Joss Whedon. For the record: I have seen everything he has cranked out since Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except for Dollhouse. The only reason I haven’t seen Dollhouse is because I’m not a Whedonite, duh, and no one has convincingly tried to get me to watch it. As far as I know, it’ll be the first thing by him that I thoroughly enjoyed. Additionally, I haven’t read his comics because, again, not a Whedonite, nor am I an active Marvel reader. If I’ve read a Marvel comic in the last five years, it’s because someone lent it to me. So I’m not going to actively seek out some Astonishing X-Men trades to appease my friends or show how pious I am to their geek god.

Buffy, like most of his work, is okay. Pretty generic and mediocre, if we’re honest with ourselves. It’s essentially another story about a girl who is in love with a vampire. Like all of those stories, she knows better (hell, she on a mission to kill them); nevertheless there’s always one whom she’ll excuse his undeadliness for and bang. Be it he has a soul or looks like Billy Idol. Either way, it’s an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship that is not becoming of a ‘strong’ female lead. The best parts of that show are the minor characters, and they all too often got annoying. I rather read an Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel. The sex is was better.

I’m so totally turned on right now. You have my number, right?

But it’s not only his female leads who are into unhealthy relationships or making “excuses” for that one person who goes against everything they believe in. Mal Reynolds is the exact same in Firefly when it comes to Inara (who I find unbearable), only he’s man enough to not have sex with her. Regrettably, this makes every scene they share boring and predictable. “You’re a whore!” “You’re a pig!” “Let’s not have sex even though I totally want to bang you!” “That’s fine, I’m banging this guy anyway.”

Now there was a show that could have been something. And no, not in the “oh, why was it canceled after only it’s first season?!” way. I mean in a Space Cowboys way. I’m a huge fan of both genres, and really expected it to be awesome. Instead, I completely understood why Fox canceled it: because its ratings, like the show, were mediocre. You can say it was before it’s time or you could say it was poorly executed. Classic Joss!

Now, before you tell me he’s “too clever” for me or some other tripe, I’m going to tell you something: he’s not. He has good ideas, I agree. I enjoy the premise of everything he cranks out. But the method in which it’s cranked? No thank you.

Last week, I saw his latest “masterpiece”: Cabin in the Woods. I’ll admit, I was against seeing it at first. Not because of my feelings (or lack thereof) towards Whedon (I’m always hoping he’ll show me he can do more than be competent), but because I hate horror. Finally, enough people were like, “You gotta see it, zomg~! It’s like Buffy season 4” (or 5? It all blends together). So, I saw it. Guess what? It’s not a horror movie. It’s not even a satire on horror flicks–it’s an homage. And, again, like all of Whedon’s work, it has a really cool premise. It goes back to mythology and brings it to the modern day. It was a concept I was ready to get behind, but then the 2nd and 3rd acts happened and I didn’t care about anything anymore. The characters were boring, despite moderately amusing dialogue, and the twists and “revolutions” on the genre (whichever genre you could claim it was trying to be) failed to take. All the interesting stuff happened in the first five minutes. Seriously. The rest was just cute.

Especially the bits with Chris Hemsworth in it. He’s so dreamy!

This is the first movie in a long time that I had to make sure I was right about my expectations. “It was advertised as a horror film, right?” I asked a friend of mine. “It was,” he began, “but like all Joss Whedon things it never is what you expect it to be.” Now unless he means I expected it to be “good” after all the hype, then he’s right. It wasn’t what I expected; but, if I’m wrong to expect a movie to be what it’s billed as (i.e., a horror flick) then I have no idea what advertising and trailers are supposed to be about. You got me, marketers. I’m gullible. I believe all your precious lies!

So, here I go again, ready to sink into another Whedon trap. The east coast should be releasing now, while Pac-Time is about to head in, and I’m going to wage in 24hrs when I spend my money and take the time to watch it, I’ll feel much the same way as I did six day ago: a moderately clever and interesting first act that fails to get off the ground, so by the climax I’m ready to leave.

But I hope I’m wrong. Why? Because I prefer to like things than dislike them, and for once in my life I’d like to be as enthralled by something as my Whedonite friends are. It’s really frustrating to watch something because it’s been hyped up so much, and then be like, “It was okay”, which all your friends in turn take to mean you hated it.

Hey guys: hating is different from thinking something’s okay, but by the time you’re through with your little tirade on how I didn’t “get it” or can’t “appreciate” it for whatever made up reason you’ve come up with, then you better believe I hate it now.

So, Whedonites this tirade’s for you. Enjoy your mediocre storyteller. I’m not trying to take his work away from you. You can have it. All of it.

Remember folks: It’s okay to like things, just don’t be a dick about it. Otherwise, eventually push will come to shove and this happens. We’ll fight back. Now, excuse me, I need to be reminded how magical friendship can be.

Buffy-shy and, well, Spike. And a bunny. Stand back, Anya.

APRIL FOOLS! “Whedonverse” Cameos in Avengers Confirmed!

by dicksonApril 1, 2012

This was an April Fools joke… you excitable Brown Coats you! Go get a hobby!

A source close to the production of “The Avengers” has let slip that a few cameos from the Whedonverse have been revealed.

Our source, who has asked to remain anonymous, confirms that director Joss Whedon has snuck in a few characters from his many shows – without the knowledge of the brass at Marvel.

“[Joss] said that since no one at Marvel was familiar with the characters, he just felt he could get away with it,” adding that they are pretty cleverly disguised and should delight fans of Whedon’s work.

So what are they?

“In a scene where there is a rush of SHIELD agents being led by Black Widow, we see “Echo” (played by Eliza Dushku in “Dollhouse”) and flanking her is none other than “River” (Summer Glau’s character from “Firefly”) – and they are kicking ass!” He adds that fanboys of Summer Glau in black leather will not be disappointed, even though the appearance is fleeting.

Other cameos:

– “Captain Malcolm Reynolds” from Firefly in a flashback scene taking place in WWII. (“He’s very clearly seen in a photograph of an old SHIELD unit”).

– A one-eyed “Xander Harris” from Buffy in a humorous juxtaposition to Samuel L. Jackson’s one-eyed Nick Fury (adds the source: “Nick [Harris] is in an old-style Nick Fury uniform, chomping a cigar”)

– Apparently one of the characters references something like “living vampires” (Mobius??) and as they go through files of potential agents to send against them, one of the images is of “Buffy Summers”. The Source says that as they are looking through the files, the agent says, “dead, dead, missing, dead” and when they get to Buffy’s picture he says, “dead to me.” HARSH! We guess things aren’t great between Joss and SMG?

It’s no secret that Joss Whedon loves to work with the same people over his many projects, so it should come as no surprise that some of his favorites have made it into his biggest movie ever.

The Avengers opens May 4^th.

Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard Talk to Geekscape About “The Cabin in the Woods”!

by JonathanMarch 10, 2012

At SXSW tonight, I got a chance to talk to Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard about their new movie “The Cabin in the Woods”. We talked about the movie being shot 3 years ago, whether Chris Helmsworth got Joss the job directing The Avengers and what it was like developing a “cabin in the woods” style horror film!

We also talked to Cabin actress Anna Hutchison about her role in the movie… and her former life as a Power Ranger! Yup. We’re pretty much awesome… and so is the film! Expect a review soon!