My man! After many jokes at its expense, it’s finally here… an Aquaman movie! But is this the film that gets the last laugh on critics and fans? Maybe! What I do know for sure is that this is the DCEU’s weirdest movie of all time! It’s actually a lot to pick through so I bring Ian Kerner in to talk about the film’s ins and outs and what works and what doesn’t. There are tons of SPOILERS so be warned as we answer lots of questions! Does this film setup a sequel? Does it help fixed the problematic DCEU films that came before it? Were the villains too over the top? Is a ‘Flashpoint’ movie the best way to save the DCEU? There’s lots to discuss in this special episode so enjoy!

Subscribe to Geekscape on iTunes!

Follow Jonathan on Twitter and Instagram!

Join the Geekscape Forever Facebook Group!

Visit Geekscape.net for more Geekscape goodness!

‘Justice League’ is here! After the controversies of ‘Man of Steel’ and ‘Batman v Superman’ and the runaway success of ‘Wonder Woman’, fans have found themselves in a mixed place as the League finally unites on screen… and we have a lot to say about it! What worked? What didn’t? How does this change, hurt or save the DC Cinematic Universe? Where does Warner Bros go from here? And is the world of the Justice League a world worth saving? It’s all here in the Geekscape special! Enjoy!

Subscribe to the Geekscape podcast on iTunes!

Subscribe to Geekscape on Soundcloud!

Subscribe to Geekscape TV on YouTube!

Get your own Loot Crate subscription! And use the offer code ‘Geekscape’ for a discount!

šŸ‘Ž – Skip, read at your own risk
šŸ‘Œ – Okay, not great, not bad, you might find something to like here
šŸ’Ŗ – Great, highly recommended

DC

šŸ‘Œ Aquaman #2
šŸ‘Œ Batman #2
šŸ’Ŗ Green Arrow #2
šŸ‘Œ Green Lanterns #2
šŸ‘Œ Justice League Rebirth #1

I can’t get enough of DC’s Rebirth. Eventually, I’ll cut back (in fact, I almost skipped Green Lanterns) but I’ll wait until things get a little tougher to keep up with. Green Arrow has been blowing me away and is my favourite of the current Rebirth titles. Percy is telling a Green Arrow tale that is starting to feel a lot like a Frank Miller’s Born Again story arc for Daredevil. For those of you unfamiliar with the reference, it means good things, very good things.

Justice League Rebirth wasn’t as exciting as I was hoping it would be since it basically just served as an introduction to the team, but Hitch’s art provided enough action, spanning cities and giant monsters to make the issue enjoyable.

I don’t have much to say about the other titles. Batman is pretty solid so far, after two issues most of the chess pieces are in place and it looks like things are going to start getting really interesting for Batman, our new super-powered heroes, and the villain who is revealed by the issues conclusion. Green Lanterns and Aquaman are both decent enough reads, just not characters that I feel a strong connection to yet.

Marvel

šŸ‘Œ Amazing Spider-Man #15
šŸ‘Œ The Punisher #3

Last week’s Amazing Spider-Man was interesting. It looks like Peter, MJ, and Regent may remember the events of Secret Wars. This came out of left field, so I’m not sure what the implications of it could be but I’m excited to find out. The issue concludes with a shocking twist, leaving one of our characters lifeless (probably not, but maybe) on the ground. I’d recommend picking up issues #13, #14 and #15 and start familiarizing yourself with this series. I have a feeling Amazing Spider-Man is going to find itself in must-read territory very soon.

Sure, this Punisher run isn’t reinventing the wheel, but it has been a lot of fun so far. It has everything you’d expect from a Punisher book; the Punisher, bad guys who are after The Punisher, good guys who don’t know whether they’re after bad guys or the Punisher, and a whole lot of violence!

Image

šŸ’Ŗ The Fix #4
šŸ’Ŗ Paper Girls #7

I’ve previously mentioned The Fix isn’t as strong or funny of a title when the two characters aren’t together. The trend continues here as we see what Mac is up to. However, I found myself enjoying this issue as much as the first two. I can’t recommend this title enough, we’re only four issues in so go pick ’em up and get in on the fun!

I’m loving Vaughan’s Paper Girls. It is just so unlike anything I’ve ever read before. The art is a lot of fun and Vaughan’s plays with time travel (a concept that many would say has been done to death) in plenty of fun and inventive ways. This isn’t a series you can just start reading though, if you are interested I strongly suggest you begin with #1.

Book of the Week!

Green Arrow 2 Cover

Not only is the Green Arrow my favourite of the current Rebirth titles, it’s also my favourite book of the week!

šŸ‘Ž – Skip, read at your own risk
šŸ‘Œ – Okay, not great, not bad, you might find something to like here
šŸ’Ŗ – Great, highly recommended

A lot of great reads this past week, most of which weren’t from the big 2 publishers.

DC

DC’s Rebirth takes a week off but we did see the continuation of Action Comics and Detective Comics, as well as #1’s of Aquaman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. All these stories are solid but none of them have earned must-read status.

šŸ‘Œ Action Comics #958
This is perhaps the most intimidating book if you are new to the DC Universe. We have a new Superman, a Lex Luthor Superman, and a Clark Kent who apparently isn’t a Superman. However, not a lot of that matters this issue because it’s mostly one great big battle with Doomsday!

šŸ‘Ž Detective Comics #935
In my opinion, this is the least interesting of DC’s new offerings. This book in particular starts out with something super exciting but then pulls the carpet out from beneath us and leaves us with a relatively uninteresting story that is struggling to find any identity.

šŸ‘Œ Aquaman #1
This may be my favourite of DC’s releases this week. Walker’s art on this is stellar. I was worried an Aquaman title could get weighed down by too much politics but so far Abnett is balancing the politics with equal parts action. The action sequences at the end of this issue were gorgeous, as the characters battle isn’t separated by panels but by the way the water flows.

šŸ‘Œ The Flash #1
This may also be my favourite of DC’s releases this week, I just can’t decide! Williamson is really focusing on the theme of despite the Flash’s speed, he isn’t able to be everywhere at once, and therefore can’t help everyone. For me this premise is interesting enough to explore for a few issues, but much like last week’s Batman #1, this book takes a twist at the end that leaves me wondering what the heck is going to happen next!

šŸ‘Ž Wonder Woman #1
It may not be a popular opinion but for whatever reason, this book just hasn’t worked for me yet. I don’t think it’s any fault of the creators, Rucka and Sharp, I think it’s just my unfamiliarity with the character of Wonder Woman. There are times during this issue where I feel completely lost and the story isn’t interesting enough to drive me to do any further research.

Marvel

More Civil Snore…

šŸ‘Ž Captain America – Sam Wilson #10
Another title that I read because of the Civil War II stamp on it, another title that I’m let down by. Aside from Rhode’s funeral, I’m unsure how this ties in at all. Don’t spend your time reading Spencer’s Marvel stuff, checkout The Fix instead!

šŸ‘Ž Civil War II – Choosing Sides #1
This book isn’t worth your money. I don’t have anything else to say.

Power Man and Iron Fist Cover
šŸ’Ŗ Power Man and Iron Fist #5
Is it any coincidence that one of Marvel’s only books that isn’t a part of Civil War II is awesome? The fifth issue serves as more of a transition from the last arc to the next one. If you didn’t read this issue, you wouldn’t miss much but there are enough laughs in here to make it worth while.

Archie Comics

Archie Cover
šŸ’Ŗ Archie #9
If a comic book has Mark Waid’s name on it, you ain’t going to regret reading it. I’ve discussed how great Archie is in previous Weekly Reads and the series continues to gain momentum. Archie Comics is doing such a great job with it’s IP right now, I don’t think they’re making anything that isn’t awesome!

Dark Horse

Dept H Cover
šŸ’Ŗ Dept. H #3
Another title I’ve gushed over previously. The comic is as good as ever. This is a must read if you’re looking for a non superhero comic. Instead of gushing over the issue, I’ll talk about how awesome of a moment it was to see Cullen Bunn (writer of Harrow County, Uncanny X-Men) wrote into the letter page. Note: I only read the letter page of books that I love. Guys, what else do I have to say, this book is a must read! Matt’s writing is awesome, his love for comics comes through the pages, Sharlene’s watercolours are unlike anything else I’ve seen in comics. Love, love, love this book!

BOOM! Studios

Mighty-Morphin-Power-Rangers-004-Cover
šŸ’Ŗ Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers #4
This series is better than I ever could have imagined. Perhaps I shouldn’t be giving it strong status because if you aren’t a Power Rangers fan this might not be up your alley, but I think you’d be surprised. Sure, this is a Power Rangers story but the themes of team building, trust, insecurity are something anyone can relate to. If you’re a Power Rangers fan, this book is a no brainer, if not, I think you still might be able to find something to love here.

Welcome to Weekly Reads! It’s your little dose of comic book goodness that discusses comic books from the week that was!

How about we take a break from all the video games news to discuss comics! šŸ“š > šŸ•¹

Ongoing Reads

It’s been awhile since we discussed X-Men and with the release All-New X-Men #10 this past week, what better time than now? The whole is NOT greater than the sum of its parts when it comes to the current arc going on in the X-Men books, Apocalypse Wars. There doesn’t seem to be any continuity between the titles, each storyline seems to be it’s own entity involving Apocalypse but they don’t feel like a part of the same narrative so reading All-New X-Men isn’t going to make your reading of Uncanny X-Men any better. This means you can read as few or as many of the X-Men books as you want and not have to worry about missing out on anything. Currently, I’d say All-New is the strongest of the X-Men titles, with this week’s issue being particularly fascinating. We see Evan, Kid Apocalypse, interact with an Apocalypse who is in his early teens (before becoming one of the most powerful villains in the Marvel Universe). I find it fascinating to see noble and pure intentions from a character who grows up to become bent on wiping out entire races of people. I hope we get to find out what caused him to snap, although I’m not sure what it’ll be since he doesn’t appear to have anything that means too much to him.

Finally, a new issue to one of my favourite ongoing series, The Fix #3! I wouldn’t say it’s a slip-up, but the third issue of The Fix isn’t on the same level as the first two. I didn’t enjoy this issue as much for two reasons. First, the humour was noticeably lacking. The first two issues had me laughing every other page, this issue barely got a smile out of me. Second, our two main characters aren’t together. It became obvious to me that a lot of the laughs and zany moments in this book were a result of the chemistry between Roy and Mac. I’m sure this book will get back on track in the next issue or two. It’s sort of a stretch to say it’s offtrack, it just wasn’t what I have come to expect from this book and therefore I didn’t enjoy it as much. It is still probably my favourite read of the week!

New Reads

Civil War II - Amazing Spider-Man (2016) 001-000

I have mixed feelings about Civil War II – Amazing Spider-Man #1. I like Spider-Man, Gage and Foreman put together a nice Spider-Man feeling story that feels like an authentic extension of Slott and Camuncoli’s current Amazing Spider-Man books. My problem is it’s Civil War II branding, which to me is nothing but a money grab play by Marvel. I feel like this book (and probably many others) isn’t going to offer any substantial story elements to Civil War II, yet they clearly market you to buy it to so you can be in the know. These excessively large story arcs complicate the buying decisions of most comic book readers and put a pretty big barrier to entry up to new readers. If you loved the Civil War movie and walk into the comic book shop to read this Civil War II you’ve been hearing about, you aren’t going to be excited by the endless list of books you’re supposed to read, you just aren’t going to bother with it at all. I wish we could trim the fat on these crossover events and keep the number of titles you need to purchase to a minimum.

If you like Spider-Man and want more of him, you’ll enjoy this book. If you just want to read it because it’s a Civil War II tie-in, don’t bother.

Aquaman - Rebirth (2016) 001-000

The Flash - Rebirth 01-000

Wonder Woman - Rebirth (2016) 001-000

DC’s Rebirth continues with The Flash, Aquaman and Wonder Woman this week. All these titles have felt solid so far. As far as a recommendation goes, I’d say go with your gut. No book is noticeably better or way worse than any other book right now, pick a character that interests you and start reading them.

Action Comics and Detective Comics also saw releases this week, 957 and 934 respectively. Yep, these books have been around for awhile. In case you aren’t in the know, Action Comics is Super-Man and Detective Comics is Batman. What’s the difference between them and their solo titles? Well, it would seem to me that Detective Comics will focus the attention on Batman and his team, while his book will be just centred around Batman. The lines between Action Comics and Superman felt a bit more blurred. For someone new to DC, these books feel like they carry a little more baggage than what we are seeing from the Rebirth titles but are accessible none the less.

Next Time

Another week in the books! Come back next time for, you guessed it, more Civil War! More Rebirth! And who knows what else!

Warner Brothers presented a standalone special on The CW tonight, showcasing off the upcoming and future film projects coming from DC Films. The special was hosted by the comic book man himself, Kevin Smith, along with DC Comics CCO Geoff Johns. The special mainly served as a way to get people up to speed on who the characters are and what roles they are going to play in the upcoming DC cinematic universe. With Kevin Smith serving up the soft ball sized questions and Geoff Johns explaining everything pretty well, that it served well what it set out to do. Watching Kevin Smith’sĀ enthusiastic responses really sucked me into the hype for the new DC films.

suicidesquadprops-164287

First up, they cover ‘Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice’. Nothing really new here, they just show the same clips from the previous trailersĀ with the voice overs from the cast members recanting their first encounters with DC comics. Geoff Johns just goes over the motivation behind the two heroes clashing head to head along with some commentary clips from Zach Snyder. ‘Batman Vs. Superman’ is out out in theaters March 25, 2016.

SuicideSquad

Next up, Suicide Squad. I’m actually more excited for this film than Batman v. Superman. I can already tell that Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn and Jared Leto as Joker are just going to steal the movie. They premiered the new trailerĀ which got me really hyped with the Bohemian Rhapsody track. Not much was revealed about the plot aside fromĀ what we already know from the previous trailer. I don’t care about the naysayers, I think The Joker looks bad-ass and that laugh was pretty good. The Suicide Squad try to save the world on August 5, 2016.

WonderWomanLogo

Wonder Woman is up next, now based on what they show, which is not much, it left me flat. The first thing that I thought about after seeing some of the scenes was them taking the same route as Captain America: The First Avenger. Gal Gadot does look phenomenal as Wonder Woman and Ido hope later on we see more of the plot in order to get me hyped for the film. Take a look at the first footage from theĀ ‘Wonder Woman’ filmĀ here.Ā ‘Wonder Woman’ is set to be released in Summer 2017.
JusticeLeague

Kevin Smith then segued into who else would be in the Justice league Movies. During this part we some quick flashes of what seems to be some concept art for the other characters in the film. At this point Geoff Johns gives a quick rundown of the back stories for the other characters that include Aquaman (Jason Mamoa), The Flash (Ezra Miller) , Cyborg (Ray Fisher) and the announcement of the night being that Green Lantern and the Green Lantern Corps will be joining the Justice League.

One of the interesting things happened during the explanation of The Flash, Geoff Johns gives kudos to the TV version of the flash and explains this flash will be different as its the cinematic version of the character with a slightly Ā different origin. The bring up how Barry can easily time travel and access different planes of reality. ‘Justice League’ is slated to be released on November 2017.

I’m excited to see DC finally step it up and go head to head with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Only time will tell if its too late or not enough to compete. Are you guys excited let us know in the comments section.

James Wan has been givenĀ AquamanĀ and Robotech. Oh boy.

Could James Wan actually change what we think about big genre movies? Maybe, maybe not. But he might change how we think about Aquaman and giant robots in pop culture.

BeforeĀ Mad MaxĀ introduced the world to wild stunts on carsĀ and badass women,Ā Furious 7Ā showed the world wild stunts on cars and badass women. James Wan’s direction of the film elevated what would have been another typical Hollywood movie into a master class in precise, action filmmaking. It was a boy genius being given a fully-equipped lab to go nuts.

This is what makes James Wan an excellent choice to helm these projects. For starters, I’m already stoked aboutĀ Aquaman because the casting directors made the smartest move in the history of comic book casting: Jason Mamoa. Besides being an actual savage, Mamoa is a proud Pacific Islander. What other cultures are so attached to the ocean than they? This is why people made fun of Aquaman: He looked like a rich preppy guyĀ from Connecticut thatĀ had one trip to the Caribbean and suddenly thinks he’s cultured. Tapping into the Greek roots of Atlantis just couldn’t work in the modern eye.

But Wan had nothing to do with that. It’sĀ just one reason to pay attention toĀ Aquaman, because let’s acknowledgeĀ it: It’s the toughest superhero movie Warner Bros.Ā has to make. Aquaman has had the worst PR team whileĀ somehow a psychopath in a bat costume is world-renowned. But under Wan’s eye, AquamanĀ might single-handedly change the paradigm.

Just try to imagine what an ocean dweller who could summon sharks and whales could look like if it was directed like this:

I’m glad Warner Bros. acknowledges this, and they’ve made two of the smartest decisions they could ever make. While theĀ Justice LeagueĀ movie is awkwardly coming together, at least there’sĀ AquamanĀ to look forward to.

Then there’sĀ Robotech.

There’s the obvious out of the way: It’s vehicular warfare. Recruiting a director who just sold the world on cars going boom is a no-brainer.

But remember, this isn’t justĀ anyĀ director of theĀ FastĀ series. It’s Wan. This is the guy who masterfully showed off a car jumping in between Abu Dhabi. If Wan can bring that sensibility into a scale as big asĀ Robotech, it could actually change what we think about giant robot movies. I’m sick of people always bringing upĀ TransformersĀ as you are — it’s because of that narrative that people domestically didn’t really digĀ the modern masterpieceĀ Pacific Rim.

Not to ride Wan’s dick too much, but I’m a legitimate fan of his vision and his helming overĀ AquamanĀ andĀ RobotechĀ could be actual paradigm shifters in pop culture. We may no longer scoff at Aquaman or think giant robots are dumb movies.

We might actually think they’re pretty cool.

Briefly: Zack Snyder just revealed what Aquaman will look like in (probably)Ā Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice,Ā or definitely in the 2018 Aquaman standalone film.

He looksĀ freaking cool (at least in my opinion), and is complete with radical tattoos and a bad-ass trident.

The divisive director took to twitter to reveal the image, stating that “There is only one true King,” and using the hashtag #UniteTheSeven. Take a look at the image below, and let us know what you think. We’ll be sure to share more Aquaman news as soon as it drops!

And here’s a larger version:

B-RAWTjCcAAF81b.jpg-large

So, how do you think the costume looks? Sound out below!

A lot of ‘to do’ and ‘ruckus’ has been made over how Warner Brothers should go about making a Justice League movie. Does Batman need to show up at the end of Man of Steel? How do we introduce people to all the characters? Should there be nipples?

While Marvel has had insane success with the first phase of their movie universe by bridging multiple hero movies into a shared storyline leading to The Avengers, 99% of all other movies with an ensemble cast typically manage to give you a story and characters within the first 10 or 15 minutes. And if Avengers has taught us anything about audiences at super hero movies, you don’t need to justify crazy powers, clashing genres, or put everyone in dark black leather. The crowd just wants to be entertained.

So my advice to Warner Brothers? Regardless of how Man of Steel does, just go make a Justice League movie. People know who Superman and Batman are, a lot of people kind of remember Wonder Woman, and that’s really all you need to get on board.

In fact, to help out, I’ve graciously spent 15 minutes of my life outlining a movie for you and casting the roles. You’re welcome. Please pay me. I need to see a dentist.

JUSTICE LEAGUE!

So the first thing you need to do is give a quick nudge to where we are in the world. And how do we do that without Iron Man touch screen and holo displays? THE NEWS. Show us all 17 24 hour news channels in the DCU doing a quick blitz of President Lex Luthor, who was elected after the entire city of Gotham was held ransom by Bane and is now entering his second term with a strong anti metahuman agenda in response to Superman, explaining that in the wake of the recent death of American fighter pilot Steve Trevor, who crashed on Ā a mysterious Amazon Island, which recently appeared out of no where, these strange Amazon warrior tribes represents a clear and present danger to the United States and we’re gonna wipe the place out. USA! USA! USA!

Yeah that’s right, suck it Marvel! Ed Norton as Lex Luthor! I’m about to American History X a bunch of superheroes with SCIENCE! Eat a dick, Ruffalo!

We cut to chaotic footage of the D Day style invasion of the Amazon Island. It looks like a modern Saving Private Ryan but with 300 looking warrior ladies instead of Nazis.

“Victor can you believe all chicks with swords? It looks like something out of Revenge of the Titans, a great movie I saw in 3D 7 times! OH GOD ARROWS!” A young terrified marine named Victor Stone (John Boyega) saves a buddy with awesome movie taste by punching out a warrior lady but then gets nailed by a ton of friendly fire and some guy is like OH GOD MEDIC! And they cut back to Amy Adams as anchor Lois Lane at Daily Planet and she’s like ‘yeah so that was an awful thing to see. Here’s some cats in a wheelbarrow.’

Yeah I just watched Attack the Block. So what?Ā 

We cut from the Victor Stone POV to a bunch of armored ladies forcing Princess Diana (that’s unfortunate) to evacuate because they need to make sure she’s safe and protected. Throw in some statues that look exactly like Lucy Lawless because who else would play Hippolyta in the eventual Wonder Woman movie? We get some tossed in lines about ‘that man that crashed in the iron bird…I thought he would recover! What happened?!’

Hi, I’m Katrina Law. I’m on the show Spartacus where I kick the crap out of people and am super beautiful. I’m literally the only actress on the planet currently qualified to play Wonder Woman.Ā 

The Amazons maybe didn’t kill that pilot like the president says they did? OH SNAP SOMETHING IS ROTTEN ON THE ISLAND OF… Does it have a name? Sorry, I’ve been spending all my money on Avengers books my whole life. How stoked are you guys about Marvel Now? LOTS of really cool titles dropping and…Ok.

JUSTICE LEAGUE.

That’s where you throw the title. See? Just jump into this shit. Instead of overthinking about how to make this OK for an audience, just punch them in the face with it, show them how cool it looks to have Xena chicks beating the shit out of the cast of Blackhawk Down and have them be like ‘holy balls, what the eff word?!’ when the title drops. In addition to blowing everyone’s minds out of their buttholes, now we know Batman exists and that the Nolan Bat movies and Man of Steel are this movie’s Phanton Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, and A New Hope. Welcome to Empire Strikes Back.

Wait Joe! Remember at the end of TDKR when Batman retires and the Looper guy replaces him? Well, we’ll deal with that later. Ok? Hey look, a private jet owned by Wayne Enterprises!

Bruce Wayne is watching the news on the invasion from his private jet.

Bruce: ā€œIt’s hell over there, Alfred. A completely unprovoked act of aggression on a people we know nothing about.ā€

Alfred is played by Michael Caine again because that dude doesn’t turn anything down ever.

Alfred: ā€œWell sir, perhaps you could show them what happens to acts of aggression in your city.ā€

Bruce: ā€œThat’s the problem, Alfred. This isn’t my city.ā€

Reveal of METROPOLIS! Batman is in Metropolis! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Honestly? I don’t know who the hell should play Batman. But right now I’m going with Dustin Clare, because male DC heroes should never be played by American actors. ‘But a Bruce Wayne this young could never fit the Nolan timeline!’ you say? New 52 Batman banged Talia and had a 12 year old son in 5 years.

Argument invalid.

DAILY PLANET: Clark! Get in here! Yeah Perry? You’re covering the premiere of Honey Booboo The Movie tonight! But I thought I was covering President Luthor’s dinner? Are you kidding? You look awful on camera. Lane is covering the dinner! You’re covering this crap. GET ON IT.

People keep telling me I need to learn how to format scripts and I keep telling them to stop trying to hold me down. That scene was magic.

Also this movie needs to have a sense of humor about Green Lantern, where people always mention that they heard about what happened in Green Lantern and no one believes any of it because it just sounds ridiculous.

At the dinner, Luthor reinforces his stance on metahumans, that aliens like this…Superman not only spit at the law, they spit at the human spirit and the idea of human achievement. But in the spirit of human achievement, thanks to a partnership between Lexcorp and the Pentagon, the poster boy casualty of the Amazon Invasion, Victor Stone, has been saved! Project: Cyborg! Cyborg, covered in lots of cloth and gauze, waves to the cameras and asks the President when he can get back out there! Everyone claps because America. Also, Lois Lane hits on Bruce Wayne a bunch! “Hey Bruce we all thought you were dead after the Bane incident but when you ended up being fine we were all weirded out that you didn’t take your house back from those orphans and he’s like ‘Lets just say Gotham is in good hands and I’m focusing on a global scale.” See? Addressed. At some point he decided to unretire and then wink at the Grant Morrison fans with a seriously thin Batman Inc reference. It’s this movie’s unfinished Cap shield.

And then Diana from the Island busts in and is all like YOUR FAULT! ALL OF IT! Bruce Batmans up in a some kind of bad ass mobile costume suit up sequence and defends the president against her! It’s the first Batman sighting since the Gotham City siege!

Hey! Also in the room! It’s a catering guy! It’s a misplaced plane! No! It’s Superman! Still played by Henry Cavill because I really want his movie to be awesome! High powered Lexcorp soldiers led by Amanda Waller still played by Angela Basset who’s been by the President’s side in like every scene he’s in are escalating the crap out of things! The president points to the cameras and says C WE REALLY NEED 2 DO SOMETHING THESE GUYS R A MENACE K THANX. Lexcorp troops are going to kill Wonder Woman and Superman is all like woah due process and they’re ‘like suck a dong Superman’ and so he grabs Wonder Woman and Batman and flies them to THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE. Wonder Woman and Superman fight because she’s freaked out and he locks her in a cell because chill lady.

Batman and Superman take a moment to size each other up. Everyone gets boners in the audience, except for people who are wondering where Thor is. You know where he is? He’s a hot lady in a cell in the Fortress of Solitude because Wonder Woman should be DC’s Greek God based Thor and her movie should have been the Clash of the Titans remake but in present day and how hard is that to figure out?

President Luthor announces a big Skynetty computer AI defense system to track and deal with metahuman threats. He laughs and reminds everyone that people always accuse him of being a Brainiac so that’s what it’s being nicknamed. Batman tries to check out the Brainiac project by breaking into Lexcorp. In one room he sees a big global map with different areas located, squints his eyes and says ‘Atlantis…?’ and then Cyborg attacks him because these heroes have to get on the same page, am I right??

But then it turns out that Luthor built Brainiac with what he thought was Krypton tech but it turns out to be whatever it is that Brainiac actually is and I’m not exactly sure what that is because looking at his Wikipedia page gave me a migraine. But any way, Brainiac attacks and Cyborg is saving people and Batman is in the holding cell Cyborg and Amanda Waller dumped him in all like ā€˜let me help you’ and Wonder Woman is like ā€˜let me help you’ to Superman and he’s all like ā€˜I dunno lady I’m a boy scout and you’re dangerous’ and she’s all ā€˜ughhhhh you’re an idiot but also my sexy maleĀ equivalent.’

And then Brainiac hits the Fortress of Solitude and trashes it. It’s on. Superman and Wonder Woman show up in Metropolis to fight it’s AI hordes. Cyborg goes against orders and lets Batman out and the team comes together. At some point Batman picks up a bow and arrow and says WELL THIS IS JUST STUPID staring right into the camera. Eventually Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Cyborg beat Brainiac through a series of progressively escalating CG action pieces that make up most of the third act of the movie and the world forgives Warner Brothers for Batman and Robin but not for the Matrix sequels.

NEVER FORGET

Brainiac not being completely dead is teased. At the end of the movie after the good guys win, Supes salvages the fortress to begin building a new structure so that they can keep an eye over the world they’re trying to protect. You know, like an AvengersĀ Watchtower.

And then Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern shows up and Batman is like ā€˜oh, you’re real?’ and in the background a wacky homeless guy who earlier bet another homeless guy that ‘there’s no way a guy ever fought a purple jizz fog because how stupid does that sound?’ just quietly hands his buddy three bucks. And Green Lantern says ā€˜But seriously guys, I hate to sound ridiculous, but I’m a galactic peacekeeper, and Earth is about to be invaded. By Mars.’ And then there is this crazy shot of White Martian fleets mobilizing.

HEY we’re in the sequel to rub John Carter in Disney’s face a little more!

And there you go. You get the big three anchored by a young every man people can get behind because he served his country. You get Lex Luthor as a legit bad guy that isn’t scamming real estate agents: He’s the POTUS. You get guns vs. swords and you get super heroes vs. AI robot hordes. You get a Martian Manhunter tease. You get an Aquaman nod.

Because you guys HAVE to have an Aquaman nod.

*sighs, waits for millions of dollars to roll in*

Just yesterday it was announced that current Aquaman artist Ivan Reis would be taking over art duties on Justice League. NowĀ USA TODAYĀ revealed that beginning with issue #15 of the series we will see a crossover event with Aquaman called ā€œThrone of Atlantis.ā€ This event will be one of the arcs building towards DC’s upcoming event “The Trinity War”.

Geoff Johns on the crossover:

“They don’t just come up out of the water to say hello. The Justice League is trying to come together and become the team that Aquaman said in issue 12 the team needed to be: a team that trusts each other, that knows each other, and there are no secrets anymore.

There’s still questions of what Atlantis is like and what they do and what they’re capable of and why they exist and who sank Atlantis. There’s all this mythology behind Atlantis that we’re not really sure of and no one really has any answers, and we’re about to get the answers.ā€

 

Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken DC Comics Special airs Sunday, Sept. 9th. If somehow you haven’t seen the trailer for this by now check it out here. In celebration of this DC has issued a special variant cover for Aquaman #12! However don’t go into this issue thinking that their will be any kind of Robot Chicken content on the inside.

Geoff Johns on the cover:

“This is the last thing I ever thought we’d put on an Aquaman cover because it’s such a bizarre collision of worlds but I think it’s one of the best covers we’ve ever done…I just love the look on Superman’s face! Aquaman will play a pretty big role in the show. In fact, the title could just as easily be How Aquaman Got His Groove Back!”

Source: TV Guide

Not too long ago word hit that Ivan Reis would be leaving Aquaman. Now it seems Bleeding Cool is reporting that Geoff Johns will also be leaving the title along with Reis. This news is sure to be disappointing to many due to the title is currently a fan favorite. Johns is currently writing Justice League, Green Lantern, and Aquaman as well as maintaining his responsibilities as DC’s Chief Creative Officer which definitely puts quite a bit on his plate. Reis last issue of Aquaman will be issue 16 but it is currently unknown if that will Johns last issue as well. There is also another rumor floating around that the two are not done working together quite yet and that we may see Reis taking over on Justice League after Jim Lee leaves the title.

DC is looking to reshuffle their creators once again around January of next year and with this reshuffle we may see the cancellation of more titles. This would also mean the introduction of new titles such as the rumor we may see WildCAT’s join the New 52. One can only hope right?

This November we will see Ocean Master joining the New 52 in Aquaman #14! Take a first look at the new design for Aquaman’s estranged brother!

In the aftermath of ā€œThe Others,ā€ who lives and who dies? And what is the fate of the Atlantean relics? In stores on November 28, AQUAMAN #14 continues the acclaimed underwater adventures of Arthur Curry and introduces the treacherous Ocean Master!

And if you need even more reasons to be excited for AQUAMAN #14, joining New York Times bestselling writer Geoff Johns for a special guest issue is LEGION LOST and SUPERMAN: THE BLACK RING artist Pete Woods!

Source: DC

Some people love coming to the San Diego Comic Con for the cosplay, the shopping, and just the sideshow carnival aspect of it all. While I love all of those things too, I’m really a panel whore here. I love getting to sit and hear behind the scenes stuff on comics and movies and television shows more than anything else at the con. So here’s my run down on all the best panels, or at least the best panels I actually made it into, starting with Thursday, Day One.

Before and After: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Journey into High Definition

The first panel I hit on Day One was Before and After: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Journey into High Definition. I am a pretty big Trek geek here, but I am the biggest Trek geek mostly for Star Trek: The Next Generation, or just TNG from now on for brevity’s sake. TNG premiered right when I turned thirteen years old, and went off the air right when I was about to turn twenty, so my entire formative teenage years were spent with Captain Picard and the crew of the Enterprise-D. While the original series got a brilliant high definition upgrade a few years back, the common thinking was that TNG would never receive a similar upgrade. The reason being for this is that like most shows from the 80’s and 90’s, TNG was shot on 35mm film, but was edited on low grade video tape. That is why when you watch TNG on DVD or Netflix, it kind of looks like ass today. It just doesn’t hold up at all to modern standards.

Well, that is all about to change. CBS Home Video has done an unprecedented (and very costly and expensive) thing here, and is re-editing all seven seasons from the original camera negatives, and recompositing the effects using all the original elements they can find. CGI is being used only very sparingly, and only when an original element is lost. As shown at this before and after presentation, the results are jaw dropping. Watching some of the before and after videos shown at the panel really made you realize the time and care that the production design team put in when creating the original sets and costumes back in the day, as they bothered to put in small details that no one could ever have noticed when this was all in crappy standard definition.

Spearheading this whole restoration are Mike and Denise Okuda, who have been involved with the Star Trek franchise since TNG premiered twenty five years ago (all the digital displays on TNG, Deep Space Nine, Voyager and Enterprise are referred to as “Okudagrams”) As they were there from the beginning, no one is better suited for this task that the Okudas, and from what they showed, what they’ve done is nothing short of amazing. The restoration project’s film transfer technician, Wade Felker, went through endless cans of film negative to make sure that what was re-assembled matched what was aired over two decades ago. The episodes are all finished at a resolution of 1080i now. And no, the framing for this project is still old school 4×3, not 16×9. So get used to those black bars on the sides kids, because that is how the show was shot, and the intent here is to preserve that look.

Aside from the upgrade, the series is getting a host of all new special features, including a cast reunion moderated by Free Enterprise director Robert Meyer Burnett (who moderated the panel as well) He’s gone out of his way to get new interviews with all the key players, and judging from what was shown, this was more candid and fun than most of the fluffy EPK stuff found on the old DVD sets from around a decade or so back. Burnett even got an interview with the man who turned down the role of Jean Luc Picard. Possibly the most fun is the discovery of the original camera tests for the wardrobe etc, like the one for Geordi LaForgeĀ below. Someone let their Soul Glo for sure.

Original costume test for the character of Geordi La Forge. Thank God they went another route and got rid of the “Soul Glo” hair and Prince mustache.

Star Trek: The Next Generation arrives on Blu Ray on July 24th, and this panel served to whet my appetite even more. Job well done.

DC Entertainment-All Access: DC NOW!

The next panel was DC Entertainment-All Access: DC NOW!Ā While the panel hosted several creators from DC’s New 52 initiative, the clear stars of the show were DC CCO Geoff Johns and BatmanĀ and Swamp ThingĀ writer Scott Snyder. Both of them talked very passionately about their forthcoming books, and they were clearly the fan favorites judging from the applause they received. Geoff Johns has three of the best selling DC books right now (Justice League, Green Lantern and Aquaman, believe it nor not) and he spoke briefly about what’s coming up for each title. With Justice League, Johns saysĀ says there are a lot of surprises coming up in issue #12, which features Aquaman calling the rest of the lineup out and telling them they have to behave a lot more like a team, and less like a group of loosely affiliated individuals. In year two the JL will be getting several new members, including Shazam, who until now has been featured only in back up stories in the main JL title. Johns is also re-introducing classic Wonder Woman villain the Cheetah in issue #13, which will lead into next summer’s Trinity War event.

DC’s untouchable two, Geoff Johns and Scott Snyder.

The topic then shifted to Green Lantern.Ā Johns says that Earth’s as yet unnamed new Green Lantern carries a gun because he’s skeptical about the concept of rings running only on energy, and that the new “Third Army” is created by the Guardians of the Universe to eradicate free will in the cosmos. In the mind of Geoff Johns, the robotic Manhunters were the Gaurdians’s first attempt at a universal peace keeping force, but their lack of emotion was their downfall. So then they made the Green Lantern Corps, only to eventually find that emotion was as much a liability as a strength. So now they are making a third army, one to eradicate all free will, which they now see as the source of all suffering. In other words, the Gaurdians are now officially villains. Aquaman #0 was briefly talked about as well, and it will flashback to Arthur Curry’s first meeting with his Atlantean people.

Batman writer Scott Snyder was up next, and talked in depth about his upcoming arc Death of the Family, which he calls his definitive Joker story, his version ofĀ Arkham Asylum or Killing Joke. Snyder’s run onĀ BatmanĀ has been the character’s most well received storyline in years, especially his just wrapped Court of Owls saga. As for the Joke, he was last seen briefly in last year’sĀ Detective Comics #1, getting his face willingly sliced off, and then pretty much vanished. Now he’s coming back with a vengeance. As Snyder put it “Joker sees Batman as the King (of Gotham) and he has all these Knights/Squires. But Joker sees himself as the court jester to the King, it is his job to amuse him and inspire him. And he’s been ignored for a year and he’s not happy.

This time, the Joker is coming for the whole Bat family, and not just for Bruce Wayne. Says Snyder “He came after Batgirl in The Killing Joke, but he was really going after Commissioner Gordon. So when Batgirl realizes that here, too, it’s almost like the Joker is staring at her saying -I’m coming after you this time. I’ll kill everyone and burn down everything in your life to do what I did to your father, but to you. So in that way, he’s saying that to every member of the Bat-family. To Nightwing and everyone, saying – You’ve never faced me before. I’ve never actually targeted you. I’ve only used you as pawns to get at Batman. So welcome to your worst nightmare.” Death of the Family will run through Batman #13-17, and have sort of crossovers (similar to the recent Night of the Owls) in Nightwing, Batgirl, Batman and Robin, Teen Titans (for Tim Drake) Suicide Squad (for Harley Quinn) and the Jason Todd starring Red Hood and the Outlaws.

It wasn’t all Gotham talk from Snyder at this panel though, as Snyder thanks the fans for reading his Swamp Thing and Jeff Lemire’s Animal Man, which he called a labor of love for both writers. Both Swamp Thing and Animal Man have been the two biggest surprise hits of the new 52, and having been receiving great reviews all across the board. Snyder even briefly talked about his work on Vertigo’s American Vampire series.Ā He talked aboutĀ American Vampire: Lord of Nightmares, saying that it explores the history of vampire races in the American Vampire world

After the one two punch of two of DC’s biggest names came poor Rob Liefield, who not only is (arguably) the most hated creator in modern Ā comics, but had the tough act to follow both Johns and Snyder on a panel, who are the comic book equivalent of rock stars. He talked a bit about his three (yes three) DC books, Hawkman, Deathstroke and Grifter. I don’t remember any of it, because it all sounded so yawn inducing. Some guy sitting next to me at the panel said “wouldn’t it be funny if someone just ran up and punched him right now?” To which I agreed…yes, it would be funny. I’ve often wondered just what Liefield has on certain editors at DC and Marvel. Did he do a lot of blow and God knows what else with them in the 90’s, and he’s got it all recorded? How does this man keep getting books? We may never know.

Only slightly less hated in the comics world is writer Scott Lobdell, who DC has given the task of taking over Superman. Lobdell’s writing style is often like the worst part of the 90’s, so I don’t know why DC would entrust their flagship character to him. Although I will admit, unlike Liefield, Lobdell has his moments. He’s not all bad. Unlike Batman, Superman has not found much success in the new 52 (with the exception of Grant Morrisson’s Action Comics) Lobdell will take over the book with issue #13, where he said that readers will see “a lot of Superman and a lot of Clark at the same time. What we’re really going to examine is what it means to be the most powerful person on the whole planet, and yet you can’t actually ever behave in a way that you are that person. You’re hiding out among humanity.” He seemed enthusiastic, so I’m hoping for the best here, because Superman deserves the best.

Also on the panel were Jimmy Palmiotti and wife Amanda Conner, each talking about their respective DC books. Amanda’s art from Before Watchmen: Silk Spectre was shown, and so was art from Palmiotti’s All Star Western. Usually Western books die on the vine, but the connections to 19th century Gotham City have made this one something of an unofficial Batman book and a minor success. And finally. Flash writer Brian Buccellato says Flash #0 will explore who Barry Allen’s origin in the new 52, and how it differs from what we knew before. And according to Buccellato, “there is no Wally in this run at all, I’m sorry.” The crowd booed. Way to end on a down note there DC!

Batman’s Biggest Secret: The Bill Finger Story

Sometimes the best panels at SDCC aren’t the ones that get all the attention, they’re the ones that are in some smaller room at the ass end of the convention center, and you don’t ever have to wait in line to get in. Such was the case with the panel forĀ Batman’s Biggest Secret: The Bill Finger Story. Now I imagine most of you reading this are well aware that Batman was created by artist Bob Kane, because it says so on every comic about Batman, as well as every television series and movie for seventy years. But it also has been known now for many years that Batman also had a co-creator, a man named Bill Finger. Based on five years of research for his new bookĀ Bill the Boy Wonder: The Secret Co-Creator of Batman, writer Marc Tyler NoblemanĀ layed it all out for those attending this panel. He started by showing two pictures of Bill Finger, and said they were the only two pictures ever published of the man before his death in 1974. They were, in fact, the only two pics of the man I had ever seen, and I’m pretty well schooled in my comic book history.

The cover for Bill The Boy Wonder, which is illustrated by Batman Adventures artist Ty Templeton. Next to it is one of the very few pics of Bill Finger to ever make it in print before his death.

Bob Kane came up with the name Bat-Man to be sure, and the idea that he had no powers also came from him. But it was struggling writer Bill Finger who came up with the most of the elements that make Batman BATMAN. According to an old interview with Finger “Bob Kane had an idea for a character called ‘Batman’, and he’d like me to see the drawings. I went over to Kane’s, and he had drawn a character who looked very much like Superman with kind of … reddish tights, I believe, with boots … no gloves, no gauntlets … with a small domino mask, swinging on a rope. He had two stiff wings that were sticking out, looking like bat wings. And under it was a big sign … BATMAN.”

But it was Finger who gave Kane the idea of turning the stiff wings into a scalloped cape instead, who suggest the gray/black instead of red, and who changed the domino mask into a cowl. He even named the character Bruce Wayne, and gave him his brutal origin, named Gotham City, created (or at the very least co-created) the Batcave and Batmobile, not to mention characters like the Joker (co-created with Jerry Robinson) Catwoman, The Penguin, The Riddler, and Two-Face. Even Kane admitted in his own autobiography “Batman and Me” that it was Bill Finger who turned Batman into more than just a vigilante, but also a detective in the Sherlock Holmes mold. And yet, mostly due to Kane’s father being a lawyer, Kane receieved sole credit as Batman’s creator, and Finger got nothing.

One of the only photos of Bill Finger known to circulate for decades, as well as a picture of what Bob Kane’s Bat-Man looked without input from Finger.

As Nobleman pointed out in this panel, DC Comics was not the main villain in this story, nor was it entirely Bob Kane either. In many ways, Bill Finger himself was the villain in his own story, as he never fought DC for credit as co-creator of Batman in his lifetime. No one knows why, although it is simply possible he didn’t want to lose his job as a writer. The first time any one publicly brought up the notion that someone other than Kane helped create Batman was in a fan newsletter in the 1960’s during the tv show’s heyday. Kane responded with “early sketches” of a Batman character from 1934, five years before Batman’s debut, to prove his point. Unfortunately, the sketches had Batman with a cape and cowl, which are things that Finger was publicly said to have contributed to the character and Kane even admitted to. Those pictures provided by Kane that were dated in very large letters as 1934 were in fact forgeries. This would not be the only time Bob Kane would do something like this; from the 40’s through the 60’s, Bob Kane has ghost artists on his Batman stories, and in fact when he started to sell paintings of Batman and related characters as “fine art,” even those were made by other artists. So Kane was hardly ever above lying through his teeth to keep his only claim to fame in life all his.

Bob Kane’s grave has no less than nine words to describe how awesome he was, and how he and Bruce Wayne were really one. Feel free to roll your eyes.

Finger died in anonymity of a heart attack in 1974 at the age of 59, found days later on his couch by a friend. His ashes were spread on a beach by his only son, in the shape of the Bat symbol (you could hear the audience in that room choke up at that point) When his son, who was gay, died of AIDS in 1990, it was thought that he was the end of the family line…but he was’t. Nobleman found that Finger’s son had a daughter, one he discovered on (of all places) MySpace. He knew he had the right person when he saw she had a dog named Bruce Wayne. He has convinced the daughter to fight not for money…but for her grandfather’s rightful place as the credited co-creator of Batman. And so the panel ended on that hopeful note that mabye one day soon the man will finally get his due after all.

And thus ends SDCC Day One…come back tomorrow for Day Two, where I’ll talk the Green Arrow pilot, Joss Whedon and a little bit of Breaking Bad.

Yeah, that’s right. Part 1. This is such an in depth topic that it’s getting a sequel.

Everyone has a fictional character they’d bang, whether it’s someone from a movie, a comic, or a car insurance company. So the Geekscape staff put together their top 5 lists, High Fidelity style. We even got The Devastator’sĀ Geoffrey Golden in on the action!

Molly ‘Mayhem’ Mahan

Rambo: I actually poised a similar question to my mother the other day (we have that kind of relationship), only it was “Rocky or Rambo?” SheĀ went with Rocky and I couldn’t disagree more. While I do love the Italian Stallion, few things get me going more than a man who knows how to wield aĀ bow (It’s the Dinah Lance in me). I remember watching the fourth one (yes, with Old Man Stallone) and the minute he whipped out the compound bowĀ and started laying waste to the enemy, I melted. Additionally, he’s a soldier who disdains the government and authority, but still accepts (or at leastĀ performs) his mission, meaning he knows how to follow orders even if he thinks it’s a little weird and will go out of his way to perform. Hardly soundsĀ expendable in the bedroom to me, amiright? And don’t tell me that guy isn’t in some serious need of sexual healing. Bow chicka bow wow.

Ares, God of War:Ā As played by the late-great Kevin Tod Smith on Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess (did you seriously think you’d get awayĀ with me not talking about Xena?). Though a complete and utter asshole on Herc, when the God of War showed up on Xena he was still a bastard, butĀ a lovable one at that. I watched this show during my formative years, so the heat and passion between the two was always something I wanted for
myself, and at times seemed like the ideal. And he could be as sweet as a teddy bear at times, too, so he wasn’t all bad. I watched the show religiouslyĀ during my formative years, so Ares became without a doubt the embodiment of what I found (and still find) sexy.

Tyrion Lannister: All the other fangirls can have their Jon Snows and Jaime Lannisters, I’ll go with the half-man whoĀ has proven time and time again that he knows what to do with a woman. Bonus: he doesn’t feel bad about it nor have incestuous leanings. That clever
tongue of his ain’t half bad either.

Jason Todd: Pre-boot, post-resurrection, and in the Hush black leather costume, please. The man’s got daddy issues, has died andĀ come back, and is hell bent for vengeance. Don’t even try to tell me the sex wouldn’t be crazy awesome. Also, I think that random which patch of hairĀ he had in that costume was cool, I don’t care how little sense it made, it was a neat aesthetic. Plus, banging one of the Robins (especially the one thatĀ has been the source of such angst in Bat-lore) just feels so awesomely perverse, I can’t help it.

Saotome Ranma from Ranma 1/2: Although a dude, he can change into a girl when hit with cold water. That must beĀ experienced. Preferably by me.

Looking back on this collection, I realize that I may have some anger issues.

Dave Biscella

Dagger:Ā I’m one of the few that LOVE Cloak & Dagger, so I figure that will give me an in. Plus I could use the line, ‘My addiction to you is oneĀ addiction you can’t cure.’

Ariel:Ā She’s clearly pretty confident based on the way she dresses. She’s got beautiful red hair and a nice singing voice. Also, always wet.

Harley Quinn:Ā It’d be like hooking up with a hot Juggalette without having to listen to ICP blare in the background.

Tinkerbell:Ā Petite. Blonde. Looks good in green. Can fly. Can’t talk. Perfect mate.

Ryan Gosling in Drive:Ā He won’t let anybody hurt me.

Ben Dunn

Mystique: The only correct answer to the “Which Fictional Character Would You Bang” question isĀ Mystique. I include all incarnations of this blue skinned she-devil. Movies, comics, video games. The reason beingĀ that she can fulfill any sexual fantasy you have. Want to bang Kate Upton? Scarlett Johannson? Ros from Game ofĀ Thrones? She can be all of those! You would never have to look elsewhere again.

Echo (Dollhouse): Same reason as Mystique, only she gets to keep Eliza’s amazing body.

Jess (New Girl): Not only is she hot like Zooey Deschanel, but she’s super adorkable! Plus, it seems like she is upĀ for whatever. Definitely couldn’t take her after a few days, so this would probably have to be a one nighter.

Alishia Bailey (Misfits): Her super power seems a bit redundant really, a super hot chick who’s power is to makeĀ you want to have sex with her? It’s like a delicious cake having the power to make you want to eat it. Stupid. ThatĀ being said, I don’t care if I don’t remember it afterward, would still bang.

Thorn (Bone): She has curves in all the right places. Plus she hangs out with a bunch of white Smurf rip-offs, so IĀ would probably be HUGE by comparison!

Editor’s Note: Matt Kelley has called shenanigans on Ben, citing the ā€˜wishing for infinite wishes’ rule for naming Mystique.Ā This brings up a lot of ethical issues: what do you think, readers?

Eric Diaz

Will Hunting: The titular character of Gus Van Sant’s movie Good Will Hunting, and probably actor MattĀ Damon’s breakout role. Will Hunting is a rough around the edges, smart ass blue collar type, who isĀ secretly hiding a genius level brain and a sensitive soul. Combined with Damon’s then baby face, floppyĀ blonde hair and lips that look like they were put on this Earth to do one thing, it is all pretty much myĀ own personal form of kryptonite.

Audrey Horne:Ā For twenty years now, Sherilyn Fenn’s portrayal of Twin Peak’s black haired sex kitten inĀ saddle shoes and pleated skirts Audrey Horne has been my go to answer for ā€œif you had to go hetero forĀ one night, who would it be?ā€ My answer will always remain Audrey. Either sultrily smoking cigarettes inĀ high school bathrooms, rolling her eyes at those around her and their small town ways, or causingĀ trouble by going undercover in Canadian brothels, Audrey was always the very definition of sex bomb to
me. It is also possible I really just want to BE Audrey more than bang Audrey…. And that’s not a crime.

The Vampire Lestat: Possibly my favorite fictional character period, Anne Rice’s vampire protagonist isĀ tall, blonde, and kind of a prick (all weaknesses of mine with men) but ultimately a noble soul when itĀ counts. Ya know, except for the whole killing people thing. Instead of brooding about his vampiricĀ condition, he mostly enjoys it and loves all the sensual new pleasures it brings him. Lestat is theĀ prototype for vampires like Spike on Buffy and Eric Northman on True Blood. Although portrayed onĀ screen twice-first by Tom Cruise in an admirable attempt, and later by Stuart Townsend in a movie I’dĀ burn every reel of if I could, neither could come close to evoking the novel’s version of Lestat’s
ambiguous omni-sexual nature. It remains the novel version alone that really gets my juices flowing.

Aquaman: I’m talking classic Aquaman, with the orange shirt, clean shaven face, with the short hair andĀ the big trident (the hippie look Aquaman was a big turn off. I hate long hair on guys most of the time).Ā Why Aquaman? Why not? He’s muscular, super strong and rules 75% of the Earth. Also, he’s tall andĀ blonde, and that’s been my type since I first saw Sam J. Jones in Flash Gordon as a young kid, and gotĀ excited for the first time down there. I should mention that runner up in the comic book category hasĀ gotta be Dick Grayson/Nightwing. I mean, he’s an acrobat. Do the math.

Chris Evans as Captain America: I’ve never been all that crazy about Cap in the comics, at least notĀ enough to get turned on by him, by Chris Evans’ portrayal of the aw-shucks do gooder with a heart ofĀ gold trapped in a little guy’s scrawny body, who then gets turned into sex on a stick gets me going everyĀ damn time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve paused that Blu ray in the scene where he emerges fromĀ the super soldier transformation all shirtless and sweaty and hot and…yeah, I’d better stop now. I will
admit, this entry is 50% ā€œomg I really want have sex with Chris Evansā€ so I don’t know how much of thatĀ is him being Cap or not, but I figure I’d get less flack if I posted Chris Evans as Cap and not Chris Evans asĀ Johnny Storm. Who I would also happily have sex with.

Shane O’Hare and Joshua Jackson

Rarity.
Rarity.
Rarity.
Rarity.
Sweetie Belle.

Special Guest Geoffrey Golden: A Girlfriend Approved Sex List

Let me preface this by saying that Amanda, my girlfriend and co-founder of ourĀ comedy magazine The Devastator, is not looking over my shoulder as I write this.

The only fictional characters I want to have sex with are ones that won’t makeĀ my beautiful, amazing girlfriend jealous. For example, Rosie the Robot fromĀ The Jetsons, a robot and not even a particularly attractive one at that (like, say,Ā Lisa from Weird Science, who I definitely never fantasized about every day of 8thĀ grade). Another robot I’d have sex with is Dot Matrix from Spaceballs, voiced byĀ Joan Rivers, a trailblazing comedienne whose work I greatly respect.

Other characters I’d have sex with: Princess Fiona from Shrek, but only in ogreĀ form, because I value inner beauty over outer beauty; the Librarian Ghost from Ghostbusters, assuming the physical contact we could make would be largelyĀ unpleasant; finally, Gaia from Captain Planet, who – according to Amanda – would be like having sex with a faint breeze. You know what, I’ll take it! On aĀ related subject, do they make Captain Planet cockrings?

Some women do not want to read the phrase “Captain Planet cockrings”Ā on a computer monitor.

Our culturally significant world changing discussion on cartoons we’d eff continues next week! BE THERE!

By now i’m sure everyone has heard that DC realized that Marvel did something genius with ‘The Avengers’ and have tried to get into the ring by pushing forward with a Justice League movie. Great idea right? I mean fans have been wanting this for years. But… can it work? I mean ‘The Avengers’ worked so why can’t this? Well, i’m here to burst your bubble (I apologize in advance) with the five main reasons at this point it will not work.

5. No back story for the main characters.

So lets say The Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Superman, Green Lantern and Batman are the team they pick for this. Because lets be honest The Atom, Green Arrow, Martian Manhunter are going to get left out. Tell me why they’re only pushing forward on a Justice League and Wonder Woman movie before fleshing out the others? I mean… some people complained that Hawkeye had no development in ‘The Avengers’ (I disagree by the way) but just throwing someone like The Flash in there? Aquaman? Okay… I won’t go see Aquaman. You have me there DC! Hawkman? Maybe. That’s fail part one DC.

4. Picking an established writer who knows how to handle something of this scale.

Look… Will Beall could be great. He could be the next big thing for all I know. But what has he done? What makes DC so sure of his guy that we should have faith in him? We were all supposed to trust Brett Ratner with ‘X3’ and we all saw how that turned out. Strike two.

3. Actors. Actors. Actors.

One of the big draw points of seeing ‘The Avengers’ (I keep referring to this because we all know this is what made DC push this project forward) was that we not only trusted the director but we trusted the actors. Minus Mark Ruffalo (who excelled as Bruce Banner) we knew these actors could pull this off and we couldn’t wait to see them together. Minus maybe one or two actors we will know nothing about this casts ability to pull off these roles. And i’ll elaborate more on this when I get to number one.

2. DC’s horrible track record and lack of attempting to establish any form of continuity.

And you would think that Warner Bros. would be making the best of these types of films yet have been disappointing to date. Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder have been DC’s saviors with the ‘Dark Knight Trilogy’, ‘Watchmen’ and hopefully ‘Man Of Steel’. But other than that? ‘Steel’? ‘Catwoman’? ‘Green Lantern’ aka the biggest let down in a comic movie in years? I’m not saying ‘Green Lantern’ was horrible. Not at all. I’m saying the script was horrible. Ryan Reynolds and Mark Strongs performances made the movie watchable. The OA scenes were fantastic. Having Amanda Waller make an appearance? Great idea. Establish Checkmate. Please. Because Geoff Johns already said he wanted a ‘Suicide Squad’ movie. This should be the jumping off for the DC universe because you can establish Checkmate like Marvel did with Nick Fury/S.H.I.E.L.D and go from there. Will DC do this? Unlikely.

And now it’s time for the number one reason:

1. You can’t have Batman in it! Nope. You can’t!

I’m pretty sure Bale said he wouldn’t do it. And we still have NO idea how ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ ends. But even then… you throw in another actor as Batman with a background that has nothing to do with Nolans trilogy. This results in fans sitting around in a very “WTF?!” feeling. There is no way you can put Batman in here that wont either result in pissed off fans or very confused fans. And what about Superman? Will ‘Man Of Steel’ fit into a ‘Justice League’? Knowing Snyder and Nolan probably not. So lets actually take BOTH characters out. Oh wow…we’re getting the b-squad or even maybe a ‘Justice League: International”. Great. Is the average movie goer who has a kid that wear Batman tightie whities going to go see this? Eh. Maybe six days after it comes out when he has to watch the kids.

So now that i’ve come to the end I must establish that in no way am I hating on DC here. My main problem with DC has been their lack of to just establish some form of solid continuity (I mean… i’m still scared theres going to be a Flashpoint Crisis On New 52 coming) and even in their movies it is what is majorly lacking. I personally believe they should step back, take a breath and follow Marvels footsteps. Establish your characters and build a non-comic reading fanbase.

You want to push out some movies? Go after some of your dark stuff. I’d love a Swamp Thing reboot. ‘Constantine’ was great to me (Haters gon’ hate)… and there has been talk of a sequel last year. Y: The Last man? You know you want to do it.

All in all I just wish DC would just not rush things. It took us four years to get to ‘The Avengers’ and no one was mad about what it took to get us to one of the greatest comic movies of all time. Just sayin’ DC.

So Ā The AvengersĀ movie has finally come out, and knocked the socks off pretty much everyone out there, comics fanboy or not. In many ways it has proved to be the ultimate comic book movie, finally realizing in live action what fans have been only reading about and dreaming about for decades. It has raised the bar on what comic book super hero movies are capable of doing.

But without DC Comics’ Justice League, in a way there wouldn’t even BE an Avengers. As legend has it, the first few issues of Justice League of America were selling so well back in 1960, that DC publisher Jack Liebowitz was bragging about to them to rival comics publisher Martin Goodman of Timely Comics one day on the golf course. This caused him to ask his editor in chief Stan Lee to create his own super team to rival the League, and thus the Fantastic Four was born, the first official Marvel Comic. This of course led to the Marvel Universe and ultimately, the Avengers. But none of it would have happened if there had been no Justice League in the first place. In fact, if you see the JLA as merely an extension/re-branding of the original Justice Society of America concept, then they are even more significant as the world’s first super team.

And yet while the past decade of cinema could almost be called “The Marvel Decade,” DC Comics’ parent company Warner Brothers have done next to nothing with their collection of DC heroes to compete with Marvel’s, with the notable exception of Batman. They keep making attempts and then canceling them at the last minute; the last ten years is filled with announcements for movies like David Goyer’s Flash, Joss Whedon’s version of Wonder Woman (all the more heartbreaking after having seen his Avengers) and George Miller’s Justice Leauge. When they finally got around to bringing us a classic DC hero to life, the studio micro managed it till it became a shell of what it should have been. And yes, I’m referring to last year’s Green Lantern.

The thing is,Warner Brothers kind of have to make a Justice League flick at this point. With the incredible critical and financial success of the Avengers, they’d look like utter idiots not to. It isn’t even about the movie itself at this point really; if Warners wants to continue to sell Wonder Woman T-shirts at Urban Outfitters and Flash underwear at Target, then those characters need to be culturally relevant, and that’s not going to happen via comic books, as much as I wish they would. Without big screen exposure, these characters will be seen as only Cartoon Network fodder at best, or relics of a bygone era at worst. And I think Warners knows that they have way too much $$ invested in the future of these characters as licensed properties to let that happen.

In other words, to use vulgar slang, it is time for Warner Brothers to shit or get off the pot.

So from a lifelong DC fanatic, here is a guideline if you will, an open letter for the suits at Warner Brothers who have no idea what they’re doing with the wonderful DC Comics heroic legacy that they own. Here’s your guide to not just a competent, but an awesome Justice League movie, and all in just twelve easy steps.

Step #1:Ā  Don’t Try And Use The Marvel Studios Strategy

We all know, despite whatever the official line from Warner Brothers might have been in the press, that if Green Lantern had been last summer’s Iron Man then they would have been instantly announced a sequel, as well as a Flash movie, etc. leading up to a Justice League team up flick.Ā  With Green Lantern making only $219 worldwide on a supposed $200 million dollar budget, barely eeking out a profit and getting mediocre to downright shitty reviews, I’d say those plans were dashed pretty fast. With the box office disappointment of Green Lantern, Ā the best Ā way to do a Justice League film at this point is to simply bite the bullet and just do it. Have a JL movie be the actual launching point to eventual solo films for certain characters, instead of trying to replicate the Marvel Studios method of doing all the solo movies and then building up to one big team up movie. In an ideal world, this would be the proper way to do it, but simply put, Marvel roundly beat them to it.

Also, it is safe to say that audiences are sick of super hero origin stories at this point in the game. Ā If Green Lantern had hit big, then they could have maybe tried to replicate the Marvel Studios method to some degree of success, but now it will look like a cheaper knock off.Ā  However, if Warners decides to come out of the gate swinging, with a super hero movie that dwarves the scope of every other super hero movie that came before it with a Justice League movie…it could revitalize the entire genre. Or be the genre’s awesome swan song.

Obviously, the one instance where any kind of lead up to JL movie makes sense is the upcoming Man of Steel Superman reboot. The movie is already shot and is hitting theaters next year, and they might as well make Henry Cavill’s version of Superman the one the JL movie uses. It can only help both franchises to be tied in together. But forget about making Flash and Aquaman as lead ins to a JL movie, ā€˜cause that ship has sailed.

#2.Ā  Hire Brad Bird To Direct, and JJ Abrams To Produce

Getting someone as qualified as Joss Whedon to helm a JLA movie is going to be really, really difficult. Whedon came in with both the comic book fanboy pedigree and just regular ass pedigree pedigree. Where are you going to find that again?

Well, how about Brad Bird? Bird’s The Incredibles was easily one of the best super hero films of, well….ever. After that film came out, many people were hoping Bird might direct a live action Fantastic Four film, but that super team is a bit too similar to the Incredibles in style and tone-the Justice League would be an ideal step up. Aside from his work on The Incredibles, Bird Ā made the transition smoothly into live action with last year’s amazing Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, easily one of (if not the best) action films last year. So you know he’ll deliver on the much needed big action setpieces. So for my money, Brad Bird is your man.

And to produce this movie, I’d get Bird’s collaborator on MI4, JJ Abrams. Yes, I know he’s a busy man, but he’s always been able to juggle mutlitple projects at once. Besides, the best recent example of the ā€œlet’s round up a bunch of misfits together and form a teamā€ movies has got to be JJ Abrams Star Trek reboot. In many ways Star Trek 2009 should be the template for a Justice League film, at least in structure. Abrams also has a knack for ensemble casts as evidenced by shows he produced like Lost and Alias. He and Brad Bird made magic together last year with MI4, let em do it again.

My JL Movie Dream Team: Brad Bird & JJ Abrams

The only thing Brad Bird doesn’t have is Whedon’s intimate knowledge of comic book history, never really having read comics growing up. But that’s where the next step comes in:

#3. Get A Really Talented Fanboy Screenwriter

First off, get a screenwriter or screenwriters who are comic book fanboys, at least somewhat. People who love and have a knowledge of these characters beyond just their value as copyrights to be exploited.Ā  They don’t need to be massive comic book geeks with a closet full of longboxes, but they should have a working knowledge and love for the DCU. (and no, not Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, they can’t write everything geek related) But someone who is well versed in what makes these characters tick and can also crank out a great script, with real drama between the characters and action and humor to match. It is gonna be difficult to find someone to pull off what Joss Whedon just did with Avengers, but it can’t be impossible. (Say, how about Damon Lindelof? Just puttin’ it out there) And whoever Warners finds, make sure they give Joss Whedon a call and take him out to lunch and pick his brain.

#4. Cast The Movie Impeccably

One of the reasons that The Avengers works so well is that everyone was cast to perfection, from Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man down to Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. Another recent example of a perfectly cast ensemble of iconic characters was JJ Abrams’ previously mentioned Star Trek reboot.Ā  Even when the actors didn’t really look like the character they were portraying (Anton Yelchin as Pavel Chekov for example) they totally captured the spirit of that character. Ā So please Warners, don’t Halle Berry/Storm or Jessica Alba/Invisible Woman us here. Don’t cast the male leads with guys from the CW, and don’t cast the women based on whoever is hot in the pages of Maxim right now. Everyone needs to be perfect. They don’t need to be big stars, they just need to fit their roles to a T.

#5. Make Darkseid The Villain

For the ultimate DC Universe movie, get the ultimate DC Universe villain: Darkseid. While Loki was a god, Darkseid is THE God…the God of Evil itself. It doesn’t get bigger or badder than that.Ā  Much like Marvel’s The Ultimates was kind of the petri dish for an eventual Avengers movie, it is pretty clear that much of DC’s New 52 reboot in the comics is a similar testing ground for an eventual JLA movie.Ā  Why else make Darkseid the League’s first villain and the reason the team formed? Believe me, at some point when Geoff Johns was writing it, he was thinking about an eventual JL movie.

Although there was a lot to be desired in Geoff Johns and Jim Lee’s opening story arc in the new Justice League reboot, the basic premise of the team forming to defeat an invasion from Darkseid and his Parademon minions is a good one. DarkseidĀ  in that story was handled pretty poorly, as he barely spoke and was more like Superman villain Doomsday, so the filmmakers should look to classic Jack Kirby New Gods stories for proper inspiration, or his excellent portrayal in the Bruce Timm’s Superman and Justice League Unlimited animated series. Ā A live action version of Darkseid should be this generation’s Darth Vader and the Emperor combined. This would also be a great opportunity to bring the classic look of Jack Kirby’s legendary art and design aestheticĀ  to life, something Marvel failed to do completely with their Fantastic Four movies and only gave a nod to in Thor.

#6. Forget Martian Manhunter, Use Cyborg Instead

-I almost hate to say this, but J’onn J’onzz the Martian Manhunter is maybe just one element too many for a live action JLA movie.Ā  I know, I know…he’s an original founding member of the team, and many say he’s the heart and soul of the League. Ā And yes, he kind of is. But having said that, there were several years where J’onn wasn’t a member of the team (he left in 1969 and didn’t return till fifteen years later in 1984) and they managed to do OK without him.Ā  But the problem with using J’onn is that so much of who and what he is is already represented on the League by Superman. Superman is the lone survivor of a dead planet who is super strong, flies, has heat vision etc.Ā  Plus, J’onn has the powers of Professor X and Mystique from the X-Men as well…he would kind of dwarf Superman in a movie that should serve to show how Kal-El is the ultimate super hero among super heroes.Ā  I’m all for J’onn showing up in a sequel, but I think he should be benched for movie #1.

As for using Cyborg as a replacement for J’onn? I totally understand DC’s logic in having him replace the Martian on the team in the recently rebooted Justice League comic series.Ā And why add Cyborg to the team? Maybe because when Warner Brothers finally does get around to making a JL flick, there is no way they can get away with making them the ā€œall white people squad,ā€ as that sends a pretty horrible message. And Cyborg/Victor Stone is easily one of the best African American heroes that DC has. If they introduce the concept of Cyborg as a leaguer in the comics first before the movies, and get all fanboys used to the idea, the cries of political correctness will be less due to the fact that it happened in the comics first. Believe me, a potential future JL movie was in the back of Geoff Johns’ head when he made this decision.

#7. Let JL Be Your Batman Reboot

-Warner Brothers has made some noise about rebooting the Batman franchise after Christopher Nolan wraps up his trilogy this summer with The Dark Knight Rises. While it is inevitable that there will be a new Batman film at some point in the future, the Nolan films have so far been so well received on every level that pulling a Spider-Man and rebooting the Bat-verse so soon seems dumb. Especially after creating something so iconic, it would seem like asking for trouble and inevitable comparisons. But including Batman in the League would insure his presence on the big screen in a very different kind of film series, while letting his own franchise get a much needed rest for awhile. Everyone wins.

#8. Use A JL Movie to Redeem Green Lantern

Despite my trash talking Green Lantern at the top of this article, I don’t think it was nearly as awful as many think…just painfully mediocre. But I liked Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, and think the Green Lantern mythology was pretty darn faithful to the comics (too bad there wasn’t more of it) I’m all for using this version of Green Lantern in a JL movie, even if Reynolds doesn’t come back and is replaced by another actor (we can call it ā€œpulling a Ruffalo on usā€) If he proves to be the scene stealer in a JL movie that Hulk was in Avengers, we might see a Green Lantern continuation of some sort spinning out of a JL movie yet.

#9. Ā Focus Primarily On The Trinity

-While all seven members of the JLA should have ample screen time, you have to focus on the DC “Holy Trinity” of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. Because let’s face it, that’s who everyone wants to see interact the most. The dynamic of the three of them, and how they’re each alike and yet very different from one another, has been the basis for some excellent comic book stories over the years.

And as inspiration, I say look to the Galaxy far, far away. While riffing on the template of the original Star Wars seems a bit like the easy way to go, (just ask JJ Abrams, whose Star Trek is essentially a remake of A New Hope) the Luke/Leia/Han dynamic is very much the dynamic of DC’s Trinity; the idealistic farmboy, the feisty princess who can more than take care of herself thank you, and the dickish but charming rogue with a sidekick. And just like Luke and Leia have a sibling relationship, Superman and Wonder Woman are more like brother and sister as well. All her real chemistry is with bad boy Bruce. Really, this is all just writing itself now guys….

#10. ….But Don’t Forget the Other Guys.

-Yes, I just said focus on the “Big Three.” But you can’t just have Green Lantern, Flash and the others just standing there glaring. They need to be able to contribute and have a reason for being there. Look, I never said this would be easy ok??

#11. Focus Not Just On the Similarities to Avengers, But Also The Differences

-Obviously, the League is really, really similar to the Avengers in a lot of ways. But where the Avengers are more like a sports team, the JL are more like a pantheon of Gods. (yes, even Batman in a way. Hades anyone?) The Avengers are at the disposal of the government, or S.H.I.E.L.D, or whatever, but the League is above humanity in a way, either up in space on a satellite or on the friggin’ moon. Yes, there have been incarnations of the team that were based on Earth and worked for the U.N, but you know they are gonna go with the most classic version of the JL here if it gets made, and that’s not the Justice League International. Ā So sorry, JLI fans. You can bet Hollywood is gonna go with the most classic incarnation of the team, more or less.

ā€œThe Justice League is like the pantheon of Greek gods. Hermes made more sense to me as the Flash. Wonder Woman means so much more to me than Hera or Aphrodite. I could make a much quicker connection with the archetype of Zeus in the form of Superman. Aquaman is Poseidon, of course. Batman is Hades, the god of the underworld" -Grant Morrison

The potential fear and adoration the world would have at such a combination of powerful beings together is similar to the love/terror the ancient Greeks had towards their own Gods.Ā  It would be an angle that would be interesting to play up, and one that’s different from The Avengers.Ā  Of course, Avengers did a ton of things right they should just outright copy, but they need to remember how the JL is different from the A- team too.

The Avengers and the League have a lot of similarities, but they need to remember how they're different too.

#12. Go Big…And Don’t Hold Back For Part 2

-One of the best things about the Green Lantern movie was Mark Strong as Sinestro. But instead of giving us any Hal Vs. Sinestro in the movie, they held back for sequel. A sequel that might never come now, squandering such perfect casting. Even if you want a sequel, you can’t be shortchanging the movie that you’re actually doing for Ā “just in case.” Christopher Nolan could have saved Two Face for a sequel, but at the time of filming Ā he didn’t even know there would even be one, so he decided to go for broke and use Joker AND Two Face, and we’re all better for it. George Lucas once had this problem with the original Star Wars, as the Death Star wasn’t going to be the big finale till the end of the entire trilogy. Then he realized that there might not ever be another Star Wars movie, and put the Death Star finale at the end of A New Hope, because he knew he needed a big ending.Ā  A lot of folks reading this might think using Darkseid right off the bat is too soon, but I saw worry about part two later…make the best JL movie you can and don’t save anything for later. Worry about later if and when you get there.

So there it is….everything you need to know to get the Justice League the big screen glory they deserve. It is either that, or the only live action League will be this one:

Let’s not let that happen.

We’ve all wondered what would happen if our favorite pop culture characters were pitted against each other in mortal combat. Well we’ve got a few match-ups covered for you! In this exciting episode it is movie villains vs. super heroes. With the help of some trusty 20-sided dice and their vivid imaginations, Heidi and Stephen tackle just who would win and why. Prepare to be surprised and possibly delighted by the outcomes

Subscribe to Brave Nerd World on iTunes.
Follow us on Twitter and “like” us on Facebook