Tag: Halo

The Biggest Duty Of All: Watch The Faux Trailer For ‘Wreck-It Ralph’s Hero’s Duty!

by Derek Kraneveldt

Well, it’s been a few days, so it’s time for more Wreck-It Ralph viral! We’ve already had a look at two of the worlds that we’re set to visit in the film: Ralph’s home game, Fix-it Felix, and racer Sugar Rush.

The latest ad gives us a look at the game Ralph wants to end up in, Hero’s Duty. This world pretty much looks like every space themed shooter since Halo, which has to be a deliberate decision, and of course would be parodying that fact.

I can’t wait for Wreck-It Ralph to hit on November 2nd. The film looks original and hilarious, and I’m really excited to see characters from many different game companies in one place.

Check out the latest viral below, and let us know what you think!

‘Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn’ – Episode 2 Recap And Analysis

by jake108

Last week, we brought you our breakdown and analysis for Episode 1… and now, the second episode of Forward Unto Dawn has arrived, clocking in at just under seventeen minutes. This week, we inch closer to seeing the Human-Covenant and even get a cameo!

Watch the episode here and then pour through our analysis:

 

We begin with Master Chief and Cortana aboard the UNSC Forward Unto Dawn. Cortana, who is well passed rampancy stage, reveals that it has been four years since the events of Halo 3.

Her monologue eerily reminded me of 343 Guilty Spark’s side effects of being alone, seen in Terminal 7 of Halo Anniversary.

To my knowledge, there hasn’t been any information regarding rampancy within the Halo monitors, such as Guilty Spark, however, I think we can all agree that Guilty Spark hasn’t always had the best interest all living things in mind.

Cadet Michael “Sully” Sullivan was seen in the last episode watching Classified ONI combat videos. As a refresher for anyone who doesn’t know, ONI stands for the Office of Navel Intelligence. They’re at the top of the UNSC and are very secretive. As said in the last recap, it has been over a year since first contact with the Covies. It’s plausible that the reports Silva was reading in the last episode were just cover-ups set forth by ONI to hide the fact that Humanity is now at war with an alliance of super-powered alien species.

Sully thinks he’s watching combat videos of battles between Insurrectionists and UNSC, but I think he may be noticing that Insurrectionists and USNC are actually fighting the Covenant.

If you look closely, you can see the green hue of a Plasma Pistol.

And let’s not forget what briefly flashed on the monitor while Sully was watching these videos:

MOAR COVIE-GLYPHICS

This brings me to Lasky’s brother. Being an ODST requires that you go on high priority missions. Lasky’s brother mentioned he dropped in Arcadia.

Arcadia should ring bells because that’s where a lot of the Halo Wars campaign took place. The battle for Arcadia didn’t happen until 2531, so, unless Silva was reading older news articles dated 2526 in episode 1, we’re a few years shy from Arcadia’s invasion.

All signs are pointing to a Covenant invasion next week. Comm towers have been knocked offline, General Black established a perimeter in the last episode, and the Human-Covenant War is already raging on.

As for next week, I hope we see that Orbital Space Elevator come crashing down, just as it did on Earth in Halo 3: ODST.

Frank O’ Connor!

 

Last week, Guernica and Tom pointed out that just because Lasky is the rank of Commander in Halo present day, doesn’t mean he’s in charge of the UNSC Infinity. Those duties belong to Captain Andrew Del Rio. Thanks!

‘Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn’ – Episode 1 Recap and Analysis

by jake108

It’s finally here, a live-action story set within the beloved Halo universe. Running at nearly 20 minutes, the first episode of Forward Unto Dawn was peculiar. Like any new installment into the Halo franchise, we were presented with both familiarity and uncharted territory…

And now for our commentary and analysis:

Forward Unto Dawn starts with the remains of the ship, with the same title, that we last saw Master Chief and Cortana on. If you need a little refresher: The Arbiter, Master Chief, and Cortana were desperately trying to get of the Arc at the end of Halo 3. While the Arbiter moved to the front of the ship to guide it to safety, Master Chief and Cortana elected to catch their breath, thinking they’d be safe. Only half of the UNSC Forward Unto Dawn made it through the slipspace portal, leaving Master Chief and Cortana floating in space.

This is made evident when we are presented with both Cortana and Master Chief with Cortana’s distress call loop heard in the background.

The blue hue from Cortana doesn’t last very long, due to her impending rampancy. Though she is long overdue to become unstable, let’s not forget she’s not an ordinary AI. Dr. Halsey used her own brain as a basis for Cortana, making Cortana truly one of a kind.

We enter Forward Unto Dawn’s series with the Insurrectionists as the main enemy to the UNSC. Fans may or may not know that the flashbacks in this series take place twenty years before the Halo events.

After Cortana and Master Chief’s introduction Commander Lasky is seen listening to Cortana’s distress call. For those of you who missed it, it is extremely imperative that you know Lasky is commander of the UNSC Infinity. The UNSC Infinity is the ship that is pivotal to Halo 4’s campaign and plot.

For those of you who saw the E3 demonstration, the UNSC Infinity is also the ship that crash lands on the shield world both the Infinity and remaining half of the Forward Unto Dawn get sucked into. I expect one of the first missions will be involving rescue and recovery of the downed UNSC Infinity. Poor Lasky, first the insurrectionists, then the Covenant, and now super-powered Forerunner Promethean Knights?! This guy can’t catch a break!

After some character development involving Lasky and fellow cadet Chyler Silva, we get an approximate date as to when these flashbacks are occurring:

It’s safe to say the year is 2526. Humanity made first contact with the Covenant on February 3, 2525, making these news articles a little over a year after. It’s not unusual that the UNSC is keeping their skirmishes with the Covies a secret. Still, it’s not going to be much a secret for long.

Towards the end of the episode, we’re treated with a Covenant ship or probe entering Circinius-IV’s atmosphere. If you look closely you’ll see the purple hue around the object.

If that isn’t enough for you skeptics out there, tell me these don’t look like Covie-glyphics:

If there’s anything I missed, feel free to email, tweet, or comment below. I’ll be sure to give credit where credit is due! Until next time, I’ll be getting back to the second thing that matters most to me: My social life.

Check Out 7 Minutes Of Halo 4’s ‘Flood Mode’!

by Shane O'Hare

The Master Chief train is going strong. We just told you about The Mantis now we got some more news for you.

The guys over at IGN got to sit down with 343 Industries Lead Multiplayer Designer and play through the newest mode for Halo, Flood Mode. Think the classic “Infection Mode” just beefed up a lot. And in glorious Halo 4 graphics! Check it out below!

Prepare for the flood November 6th!

Geekscape Reviews The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time.

by jake108

Nearly ten years old now, The Red vs. Blue online web series has captivated Halo and machinima fans alike. What started in Halo: Combat Evolved using in-game mechanics is now on its way to Halo 4. To celebrate everything in between, Rooster Teeth is releasing The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time. Rooster Teeth showcases the best of the franchise for a comical and entertaining walk down memory lane with the help of fans, completed with an In Memoriam sequence.

Rooster Teeth adopts an award show set up to present the winners of each category, as voted by fans. After a short red carpet intro, Rooster Teeth treats us with categories like Biggest Asshole, Best Fight Scene, Best Visual Effects and my favorite, Worst Visual Effects.

Each winner’s segment is presented in full and is introduced by characters from the RvB universe. Even if you have done something so dastardly as to miss out on RvB episodes, or seasons, rest assured you won’t be lost. Better yet, The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time. is a great primer for the upcoming RVBX (Ten Years of RvB Box Set), releasing November 6, 2012.

Aside from the actual run time content, the DVD menus will be appreciated by fans. I admit, as soon as the DVD booted up, I embarked on an easter egg hunt. I wasn’t disappointed.

It’s clear The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time. was made for the fans, and at a $5 price tag, it’s an easy buy.

 

The Best Red vs. Blue DVD Ever. Of All Time. is available now!

Check Out This In Game Footage From ‘Halo 4’

by Shane O'Hare

We got some fresh Campaign footage of Halo 4. Check out a bit from the levels Dawn and Forerunner below.

I am really impressed with the atmospheric level they are bringing this time around. Everything looks much more REAL, everything appears to actually exist. I am very impressed.

Halo 4 ships November 4th.

Geekscape at Comikaze: Intellivision’s Keith Robinson

by Jonathan

This was a lot of fun! While wandering the floor at Comikaze, I discovered an entire Intellivison booth and met original game programmer Keith Robinson, who began creating games for Intellivision back in 1981! This episode is great for old school and new school gamers alike!

Subscribe to the show on iTunes!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:05 — 5.9MB)

Video Games Given Some Awesome Movie Style Posters!

by Shawn Madden

These days some video games out there have budgets larger than some of the Hollywood blockbusters that hit the big screen. So why not give the games posters to match the budgets? Graphic designer Ron Guyatt who is based out of Toronto has gone and done that! Check out the posters below and more of his awesome work here.

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SDCC 2012 Video Game Round-Up: Halo 4

by jake108

This was the single most prominent title for me this year at San Diego Comic-Con. Sure, I had some playtime at E3, but after last weekend, I’d say it’s safe to say I have at least five hours logged into the most ambitious installment of the Halo franchise yet.

If you didn’t get a chance to read up on my gameplay impressions from E3, you can do so here. What I played last week was the same game mode and same build. This time around, I was able to kill fellow fans on Haven, and more importantly, fight Covenant baddies on a mission through Spartan Ops.

Spartan Ops

In 2004, Halo 2 touted the advancement of a new multiplayer matchmaking system for consoles. For me, not since then has a Halo game made such an impact on the video game community. Eight years later, and Halo 4 takes on one of the most ambitious tasks I’ve seen in the industry.

Spanning over thousands of years, Halo’s canon is not something to poke fun at. Since the smooth transition of reigns of the Halo franchise from Bungie to 343 Industries, every little thing matters, and every little thing must abide by the franchise’s strict canon. With that said, Spartan Ops is a fraction of what Halo 4 will deliver to our living rooms come November 6th. Upon finishing the game, normally, we’d all go and play multiplayer till the end of days. Spartan Ops introduces life after campaign.

Every week, players will receive episodic content that advances the Halo story post-campaign. With every new update, players will also receive five missions that will wrap up a small story arc and continue an overarching story. In the best interest of not spoiling fans, I won’t say what the mission entailed. On Heroic, players were able to get by one mission in 15 to 30 minutes. Granted, final release may bring about more enemies, more objectives, or something else entirely. I can only imagine playing with just you and a friend on Legendary will require much more dedication than just a standard 15 minute run-through.

Spartan Ops looks great on paper, and the ultimate test, as I’m sure 343i is undertaking at this moment, is providing consistent content while furthering Halo’s canon.

Halo 4 is set for a November 6, 2012 release date.

RUMOR: Halo 2 Anniversary In-Development

by jake108

Stemming from a rumor listed in the most recent Official Xbox Magazine UK, we have our first radar blip regarding anything Halo 2 Anniversary that’s not just fan speculation.

Following the success of remake Halo Anniversary, 343 Industries has now started development of Halo 2 Anniversary.

While there are no sources named, I think it’s safe to say this rumor may be true. In-development or not, I think we’ll be seeing more after Halo 4’s release. Keep in mind, Halo Anniversary was released ten years after the initial release, making Halo 2 Anniversary a possible 2014 title.

Regardless, this hopeful fan wants to see something at Comic-Con this week.

Check Out The ‘Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn’ Teaser Trailer!

by Jonathan

Our friends at Machinima have released a teaser trailer for their upcoming live action series “Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn”. Don’t get your hopes up too much for this. It’s just a teaser trailer. A full trailer is supposedly being released at SDCC this summer.

Screw the trailers. I think it’s time you let everyone know what “Forward Unto Dawn” actually means. That’s just artsy, fartsy crap. Who wrote that?!?

Oh yeah. Someone who probably plays a ton of Halo. Enjoy.

E3 2012 – Geekscape Previews: Halo 4 HANDS-ON!

by jake108

In November 2011, the first ten years of Halo drew to a close. With that close, the next ten years of Halo had already been set in motion. What started out as an FPS with story in 2001 has grown into a detailed universe spanning hundreds of thousands of years through books, graphic novels, shorts, and of course, the video games.

Halo 4 kicks off the next ten years with great ambition and confident words. From this point out, everything in the Halo universe is canon, even the multiplayer. The lines between multiplayer, co-op missions, and standard campaign have been erased, and are instead all one complete package. Innovation, something the Halo franchise has been known for, is driving Halo 4 to be unlike any console game on the market.

Multiplayer

The UNSC Infinity is the biggest, most advance ship in the UNSC fleet. Taking two decades to build, this ship was surly built to kill Covies during the Human-Coveneant War. Now, nearly five years after the events of Halo 3, the UNSC Infinity houses an untold amount of Spartan IV’s.

In the game’s story, Master Chief comes into direct contact with the UNSC Infinity, as it is seen in the E3 2012 stage demo. In multiplayer, your spartan is a Spartan IV onboard the Infinity. As far as the multiplayer is concerned, each gametype, such as capture the flag, team slayer, king of the hill, are all training simulations between two groups of Spartans.

As you progress through multiplayer, you will build up credits, unlock weapons, armor, and new “toys” to better your playing experience. Your choices and progress through the game will affect your arsenal and appearance.

Spartan Ops

It is here in Spartan Ops where Infinity’s story intertwines with Halo 4’s campaign.  After you’ve completed Halo 4’s standard campaign, you will be able to continue events through missions provided in the Spartan Ops game mode. Gamers will be provided with an episode with 5 missions per each Op. Episodes will be available weekly and span months after Halo 4’s release.

In Spartan Ops, you may also earn credits to build your Spartan IV up to use in multiplayer also. With each episode, we can expect cinematic storytelling, a blend of enemies, objective-based gameplay and the ability to play cooperatively with up to four players. Before each op, players will be able to choose their loadout and customize it before they actually start the operation. Think of it as the lobby of Mass Effect 3 or being able to customize weapons and gadgets before each mission of Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory.

Frank O’ Conner (Franchise Development Director) and Kiki Wolfkill (Executive Producer) demoed a chapter of Spartan Ops for me in which they fought both Covenant, Promethean Knights, and Crawlers. The mission was to obtain a Forerunner artifact while repelling waves of both Covies and Forerunner defenses at separate times. At one point, groups of crawlers were being spawned. While crawlers aren’t hard to kill by themselves, their strength is in numbers. Still, Frank O’ Conner said it it best:

[Killing a Crawler] is like popping bubble wrap…until there’s a thousand of them. Then it’s deadly bubble wrap.

It was clear that Spartan Ops would blend a mixture of Objective type gameplay and variations of completing each mission while advancing Halo’s story. Each map used in Spartan Ops is built specifically for the op itself. There will be no recycled maps here.

Hands-on Gameplay

I was able to play on one of Halo 4’s larger maps titled, Longbow. The map features all three types of combat, as well as vehicle use. Before the match, we were able to customize our loadouts and equipment. Players should no longer have to worry about using sprint, as all spartans have the ability to sprint. Many will say choosing loadouts in Halo 4 is too similar to games like Call of Duty or Battlefield. While the idea is similar, Call of Duty never crossed my mind while choosing my primary weapon. Instead, I was able to go to directly what I wanted in what was a fluid transition to being “Ready.”

My first weapon of choice was the Battle Rifle. At the start of the match, I fired my rifle into the air just to hear how it sounded. I must say, I was impressed with the game’s audio. Your footsteps, the Warthog’s engine, and weapon use sound different, distinct, and authentic.

Fans of the Battle Rifle will be happy to know there’s no learning curve. I was able to go on a Killing Frenzy in my first spawn using the Battle Rifle. It was during that initial spawn I knew I would use the Battle Rifle for my entire Halo 4 career.

My second choice of primary weapon was the Covenant Carbine. The Carbine was relatively easy to use if you have a fast trigger finger. In fact, you can think of the Carbine being like the Needle Rifle in Halo: Reach.

The third weapon I used was the DMR. I liked the attention to detail when scoped in on an enemy. The DMR’s scope is unique to every other scope in Halo’s arsenal in that it displays how far an enemy is. You’ll probably hear this a lot between now and the time Halo 4 launches, but many will keep asking: “Why use the DMR if you could have a Battle Rifle?” Well, if you’re an accurate shooter, you’ll be able to take someone down a lot faster than someone who is spraying their shots using the Battle Rifle. The DMR is definitely a weapon to fear.

I briefly drove a Warthog, which hasn’t changed much. I was also able to use the M363 Remote Projectile Detonator as part of Halo 4’s new weapon drop system. In hopes of cutting out power-weapon spawn campers, players must earn points for a power weapon drop to their location, one being the Remote Projectile Detonator. This snazzy, and smaller form of a grenade launcher, launches a grenade at a location. If you hold the trigger down, a screen displaying a motion tracker of sorts around the grenade you shot. Obviously, you want to let the trigger go and detonate the grenade when one or more enemies are on or close to the grenade.

Halo 4’s multiplayer is a little fast paced mixed with a little familiarity and new toys. It’s important to recognize that Halo 4 has its own voice and style. Yes, it does borrow from past Halo titles, but that doesn’t mean the fine folks at 343 Industries are remaking the same title. As a Halo fan since Combat Evolved, I admit I was skeptic of how 343 Industries’ handling of the franchise would be after Bungie’s departure. After playing and previewing what 343 Industries has to come, I can safely say I am no longer a skeptic.

In the coming weeks, I will go into detail regarding Halo 4’s gameplay, gadgets, modes, power-ups, and what it means for you!

What’s Wrong With Batman? The “Geekscapepod” For June 4th, 2012!

by Jonathan

E3 2012 has begun! In this episode, I give my thoughts on the Nintendo WiiU announcements from yesterday as well as my thoughts after attending Microsoft’s E3 press conference! Have they gone completely towards peripherals or are there actually any games coming out? PLUS! Why Batman doesn’t work!

Find it on iTunes

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 29:54 — 18.1MB)

Video Games: See The Live Action ‘Halo 4’ Trailer From E3!

by Shawn Madden

Courtesy of XBox we have your first look at  ‘Halo 4’ from E3.

The “Commissioning” Live-Action Trailer witness the unbridled optimism of the launch of the UNSC Infinity, then its crash as an ancient evil pulls it into a mysterious world where the Master Chief will begin an epic new Halo adventure.

Elijah Wood and More Coming At You in Season 10 of Rooster Teeth’s “Red VS Blue”!

by Jonathan

Earlier today I received the following press release about the just announced 10th Season of Rooster Teeth’s beloved Red VS Blue. The new season features voice acting from Elijah Wood and will be the conclusion to the Project Freelancer storyline that’s been running through the series recently. Here’s the announcement trailer, followed by the original press release!

Rooster Teeth Productions is thrilled to announce their award-winning web series, Red vs. Blue, will return for its 10th season, featuring the voice of Elijah Wood (Lord Of The Rings Trilogy).  The season will premiere exclusively on the Rooster Teeth website on Memorial Day, Monday, May 28th.   Following the premiere of each episode they will be added to the Rooster Teeth YouTube page, which recently passed the 1 billion views mark!

Co-directed by Burnie Burns and Matt Hullum, Red vs. Blue humorously chronicles a civil war being waged by two equally hapless armies.  The Red Team and the Blue Team are fighting a battle that they know very little about and have no clue how to win.  This truly original narrative is told using machinima from the Xbox® game Halo® and stunning CGI animation.  The result of this innovative combination is the hilarious story of a non-committal struggle to control the least desirable place in the universe.

The 10th season of Red vs. Blue will bring the conclusion of the Project Freelancer story line and welcome new members of the team.  Elijah Wood (Lord Of The Rings Trilogy) joins the cast of Red vs. Blue this season as the voice of the artificial intelligence program, “Sigma.”

“After meeting the folks at Rooster Teeth a couple years ago, I was pleased to be asked to provide a voice for Red vs Blue. The character of Sigma, shifty and deceptive, was fun to bring to life,” said Elijah Wood (Lord Of The Rings Trilogy).

New episodes of Red vs. Blue season 10 will premiere exclusively on RoosterTeeth.com each Monday.  Older episodes will be available on the Rooster Teeth YouTube Channel.  Red vs. Blue is also available for purchase or rental on iTunes and the Xbox Zune marketplace and will be available on Hulu this summer.  DVDs are available at Best Buy and other major retailers. Special mini-series are released on the Xbox Halo Waypoint Channel.

The Rooster Teeth YouTube Channel, which has over 1.7 Million subscribers, is home to Red vs. Blue episodes along with several other Rooster Teeth series.  These include RT Animated Adventures, which follows the shenanigans of the Rooster Teeth staff in animation, Fails of the Weak, a weekly compilation of the best in video game mishaps, and a wide variety of live-action comedy videos, behind-the-scenes clips, and video game tutorials.  As of April 16th the YouTube channel reached, and surpassed, 1 billion total views.

“Hitting one billion views was a confusing moment for us. We had heard the number ‘one billion’ before in conversation, but we didn’t think it actually existed. As everyone knows, the highest number ever recorded by modern scientists is four million. We here at Rooster Teeth are proud to have shattered that record. We look forward to many years of driving the twin industries of online video and number science,” said Rooster Teeth Founder Burnie Burns.

For the latest developments on Rooster Teeth and Red vs. Blue visit the Rooster Teeth Facebook, Rooster Teeth Twitter and Red vs. Blue Facebook.

About Red Vs. Blue Season 10

Project Freelancer casts a mighty long shadow. In nine seasons of Red vs. Blue, the top-secret military operation has affected the lives of the Blood Gulch crew in more ways than they even know. Now in the climactic tenth season, we experience the conclusion of the Project Freelancer story by watching how it all began and how it all went wrong.  Witness the birth of series villains and heroes, betrayals and alliances, all while the Reds and Blues embark on a hunt for answers from the one man that started it all – with a few diversions along the way of course.

Red vs. Blue Season 10 is the gripping and hilarious finale to the Project Freelancer saga, complete with newly animated battle sequences, a quest for revenge, and last but not least – your favorite inept space marines. Set in the universe of the enormously popular video game franchise Halo®, Red vs. Blue combines innovative machinima and animated sequences that have made it the world’s longest running web series of all time.

343 Industries Takes Us Inside the Making of Halo 4

by jake108

If you’re like me, you’ll want to bypass all the words of hype, so, here are your first Halo 4 IN-GAME screenshots:

343 Industries promises Halo 4 to be the best-looking game on the Xbox 360. With a release date that’s far off into the holidays of this year, it’s looking like 343i may keep that promise.

As you can see, the first two screenshots are of Master Chief, while the third is a multiplayer model probably wearing default armor. I’m sure seeing the Master Chief’s armor in-game will stir even more debate as to why 343i made some changes. There are many reasons, and we can save that for another time.

I’m sure many gamers will be overjoyed with an updated Battle Rifle making the cut for this new installment. As you watch the video below, keep an eye out for some pleasant reveals:

Halo 4 is set to release this holiday season. Here is our extensive gallery from the tour:

 

Microsoft Celebrates 10 Years of Xbox With ‘Anniversary Bundle’

by jake108

I was browsing around Amazon France when I stumbled upon a listing for this console bundle celebrating a 10 years of Xbox. Set to release March 9th, this bundle may seem a bit underwhelming to many.

With a price around $400, one might expect a Kinect, with a Kinect-enabled game, and Gears of War 3 instead of ‘2’.

Here’s the full listing:

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary

Gears of War 2 [Code for a Digital Copy]

Halo: Reach [Code for a Digital Copy]

Fable III [Code for a Digital Copy]

Two Controllers

250 GB Hard Drive

3 Months of Xbox Live

Still, it’s nice to see many bundles with different hardware and games available to gamers.

TEABAGGED: Bungie’s Anticipated E3 Announcement is Canceled – This Article Updated as News Comes In

by jake108

Day One

On Monday, the hearts of Xbox 360 owners everywhere became filled with overjoyment and a feeling of sucess as they stood by, watching the Final Fantasy XIII trailer play at this years Mircosoft Press Conferance. That was the good news..

While Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference went on, things began to stirr over at www.bungie.net. At 10:30 am (Pacific time), Bungie’s home page, a countdown was implanted.

The countdown was set to end at 7:07 am on Wednesday morning, July 16th. This began all rumors and speculation that Bungie would annouce their next title on the final day of E3 2008.

That was Day 1.

The Hype Machine

Rumors swirled as the hype machine took full swing. Bungie was set to make some kind of debut, and it was set to make it soon. This new Bungie ARG (Alternate Reality Game) was taking full effect on Bungie fans worldwide.

On Bungie’s site, things like the light-up map featured here, dropped subtle hints. The pupose of the map is to show the location of people who have singed onto Xbox Live to play Halo 3. Among the first of this hints was the unusal activity in East Africa.

For those of you who have played through Halo 2 & 3’s campaign, you’ll know that East Africa plays a vital role in the story, specifically, Zanzibar. With these lights lit up, some make it out to be the Superintendent logo.

Other hints include certain countries missing, bigger gaps between land masses, and unusual activity in the middle of the ocean.

As the climax approached, the Bungie forums were, and probably still are, a mess. All this ceased for a moment when at 7:00 pm, July 15, this message appeared on Bungie’s front page:

“Our Publisher is Microsoft.”

The Bungie forums went into an uproar, just like every Bungie fan’s heart. The dagger of betrayal cut into many, but it did not run deeper than those who worked hard to make this annoucement possible.

As time went by, posts by Luke Smith surfaced:

 

So as it appears, this is no hoax. Bungie has indeed been put on hold. The Teabag Prevention Team will keep you updated as ths goes along. You can also keep up with fellow forum members here.

Confirmation

At 3:13 am, an article regarding a new halo game was posted here. According to the article, there are now three Halo titles in the works: Halo Wars, Bungie’s Halo, and lets not forget Peter Jackson’s take on the franchise.

At 3:32 am, the Xbox forums joined the mess as “Thesomeone” confirmed that his is no joke:

“As I’m sure all of you know, in recent weeks Bungie has been getting ready to make a rather large announcement. There were countless rumors as to what it was, but no one can say for sure. Regardless, it’s apparent at this time that the announcement, scheduled for Wednesday morning, has been delayed with no new date given. There is abundant speculation that this is a joke or a way to increase hype, and the announcement will be coming, but those claims are untrue. The announcement has been delayed. It’s a huge bummer, but it’s the truth. Bungie’s community lead, Sketch, has confirmed this on the HBO forums, Luke Smith has confirmed it on NeoGAF, and other official sources attest to its legitimacy. Sorry guys.

I’m leaving this pinned for a short time until the speculation dies down. If you wish to discuss the Superintendent, which had a large role in the cancelled announcement, I suggest the dedicated discussion.”

The Morning After

Even though news of the cancelation spread far and wide, dedicated fans just had to wake up at 7 am to see if anything happened. Sure enough, nothing did. The only noticeable change appears to be where the countdown clock should be. Now, it’s rebooting.

You can find that page here.

Even though the cancelation is a reality, Microsoft has yet to cancel their announcement of a “New Xbox 360 Game” schedualed at 4 p.m. Could it be Bungie’s Halo game? Or Peter Jackson’s Halo title?

Bungie’s message has been up for some time now, yet they haven’t put their home page back up.

 

Calm Before the Storm

It appears that hype is building up over this 4 p.m. announcement. People on the Bungie forums are still filled with doubt over whether the letter is part of the plan. In a thread devoted to the theroy that the letter was a planned event, a Bungie Overlord said this:

Not exactly sure of what to make of this? Neither do I.

At approximately 10:45 a.m. Pacific time, the Bungie home page reappeared.

 

Auguest 7, 2008

Not sure what to make of this. More info when it becomes available.

 

Bungie’s Statement

“As upset and frustrated as we know folks are, we hope it’s at least a small comfort that our fans know we share their disappointment. A metric ton of man hours went into getting something ready to show and it’s disappointing to not be able to share it. But, the upside is that it’s all stuff you’ll still see further down the road.

As much as fans wanted to believe otherwise, this is in fact, the truth and not a cruel hoax or prank. E3 is winding down and there are no plans to make a surprise announcement later this week.

Top Questions we’ve received on this matter:

1. OMG! The announce was posted at 7! This is all part of the plan.

The news was broken to us shortly before 7 p.m. and we decided to keep with tradition to make a clean break.

2. Why leave the splash page up if it’s not happening?

We left the splash page up for the folks who didn’t see the message or were planning on tuning in the following morning before the news vanished into Bungie.net’s ether.

3. But Harold Ryan is only a TESTER this has to be fake!

Harold was a tester, but assumed the position of President a while ago. Crazy Wiki’s and their misinformation.

A couple of far lower priority side effects of us not making our announcement are that the Podcast we recorded and the E3: Livin’ the Dream mockumentary Sketch and I were filming have hit some snags. The Podcast will be filed away in the “archives” and will be anachronistically released at a later date. The video experience, E3: Livin’ the Dream, cannot be salvaged at this time.”

-Lukems (Luke Smith)

So, it appears that it’s all over.

 

A Last Minute Veto, For a Better Tomorrow

 

Thanks to our fellow ‘scapist, Shu, it was brought to my attention that Bungie’s announcement was pulled so that Microsoft could save it for a Bungie-dedicated event. Not a very smart way to do it. If only you could load the last saved checkpoint…

Read more about it here.

LA Times reports:

“Turns out that Bungie’s latest Halo project was originally part of the program for Microsoft’s press conference on Monday, but it was taken out of the lineup at the last minute. Don Mattrick, senior vice president of Microsoft’s Xbox games business, said the company decided to pull Halo …

… to help trim its E3 presentation to under 90 minutes, from 2 1/2 hours, to accommodate attention-challenged reporters. “We had an embarrassment of riches,” Mattrick said. “We felt we could do this game more justice with a more dedicated event.””

 

This special edition of Teabag Prevention was written by:

 

 

This special edition of Teabag Prevention was edited by:

 

 

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Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #13 – MOAR Equipment

by jake108

This week, we continue with the Equipment Series with the Gravity Lift and the Power Drainer.

 

GRAV LIFT(Duration – 30 Seconds)

 

Tip #1 – MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

The Gravity Lift is a lifesaver of many flavors. One of its flavors tastes like the ability to divert a fast-moving vehicle before it’s too late.

When being pursued by an enemy vehicle you can quickly use the gravity lift to make the enemy fly over your head as if they were a banshee. This will leave your opponent feeling like they’ve just been roofied, which gives you plenty of chance to take advantage of their vulnerability. Fire away my friend. Fire away. We regret that refererence wholeheartedly.

 

Obviously, this tactic will only work with vehicles that don’t already fly. Once used, you turn what someone thought was going to be a hit-n-run into a fly-n-die.

 

Tip #2 – THE TRAP

The Gravity Lift may also do trap and disorient an enemy on foot. iIn order to either trap them or throw off their accuracy, here’s what to do:

When you’re in a room with a low ceiling and an enemy is heading towards you, quickly deploy a Grav Lift and soon enough you’ll see your very own Marry-Poppins. Kill Marry Poppins.

This also works outside, as a Grav Lift is unexpected from your enemy as a defensive tactic and it will throw off their accuracy during a chase or a battle.

If you are ever dumb enough to be caught in these traps, simply use a grenade to destroy the Grav Lift. Throw it down and it should be taken care of.

Note: Use a Frag Grenade. Using a Plasma Grenade is very risky, because many have been known to just give themselves homemade, ‘splodin butt plugs.

 

Tip #3 – GET ‘EM HIGH

So obviously the Grav Lift can lift you to higher places and get to mom’s cookie jar. Also, try using the Grav Lift to get a vehicle to a higher area to reach a goal or a shooting spot.

 

 

Doing this with a vehicle does take a higher level of skill, so if you are under intense heat just use the lift for a getaway – or use it to find a better sniping position that you wouldn’t normally be able to get to.

 

Power Drainer (8 to 10 Seconds)

Tip # 4 – I’VE GOT THE POWER!

Ah, the Power Drainer. How Annoying is this weapon? This isn’t something you want to become friends with unless you are the perfected user. It takes out an enemys shield just about instantly so fire away at them or use a combination of a grenade so that the life-sucking aura around the drainer is destroyed as well as the enemy. Be careful not to get caught in it yourself – otherwise you may end up the person with the life sucked out of you. Insert ex-girlfriend joke here.

 

Tip #5 – PEE ON EVERYTHING THAT’S YOURS

You can also use the Power Drain to mark your territory. If you want to get to a certain spot, but can’t do so before some of your enemies. Set up a Power Drainer so that if they want to get to it, they’ll have to deal with metal through their skulls.

Let’s say you’re gunnin’ for a brand new Sniper Rifle: throw a Power Drain in the direction of the weapon to divert the opponent away from it. Throw a grenade at the Drainer to destroy it instantly and then gingerly walk over and grab your prize.

 

Tip #6 – DRAIN YOU

Furthermore, the Power drainer is superbly effective against all vehicles. It stops them for five seconds as well as taking away your enemy’s shield. So as soon as you disable a vehicle with a Power Drainer you should fire away at the vehicle. You may then make your getaway in their vehicle and go off to kill some bitches. See? Who needs GTA IV?

Warning: the weapons system still works on vehicles even when they are disable by a Power Drainer, so make sure those using the weapons on the vehicles (for example, the guy using the turret on a Warthog) are taken out first because obviously the driver isnt going anywhere.

 

Things to Remember:

1. The Grav Lift can be used for more than just getting high. To high. Places. You know.

2. The Grav Lift can divert all ground-based vehicles, but that doesn’t mean you can challenge tank with a Grav Lift. Unless you’re having a bad day. If that’s the case, go for it, Champ.

3. The Power Drainer stops any vehicle and makes anyone an easy target, including you.

4. The explosion that follows the Power Drainer’s release can kill. Watch it.

5. Use the Power Drain to mark your territory, or to set up a mini holocaust.

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

 

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article, as always, was edited by:

 

 

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Teabag Prevention Team Presents: Bungie Day

by jake108

Setting your mind close to seven years ago can be a tough thing to do. You may have been a God at Halo: Combat Evolved, but are you a God at Halo 3? We here at Teabag Prevention believe it is our duty to help you walk on water again in this gift that the Bungie team is giving us on this very sunny and glorious Bungie Day – the reimagining of the Halo: Combat Evolved map Chill Out.

Back in the LAN party days, gamers were able to play without the lag, actually talk face to face, and sharing a tv was a must. Chill Out is a pretty small map which is recomended by bungie to be played by 2-8 players. “Screen-cheaters” would have had it easy.

Fast-forward to July 7, 2008. Have things changed? Xbox Live brings on a new generation and a new way of playing. The map may be similar, but will the startegys stay the same?

THIS BUNGIE DAY: HOW TO NAVIGATE COLD STORAGE

Tip #1- Know Thy Surroundings

If you’re not careful, it’s pretty easy to get lost in Cold Storage during your first games. Use distinct landmarks such as: teleporters, weapon spawns, and places around the map that catch your attention. A few things that WILL catch your attention are:

 

 

Tip #2 – The Spawns

For instance, if you remember Chill Out fairly well, then you’ll be happy to hear that the Overshield, Active Camo, Rocket, Frag Grenade, Plasma Grenade, Shotgun, Plasma Rifle, and Assualt Rifle kept their spawning locations. New to the roster are the Equipment spawns and the Battle Rifle spawn.

The Needler is located on the oppisite platform as it would be on Chill Out. Not a major difference, but one that can decide life or death.

 

The Bubble Shield is located just above the center of the map.

 

The Regenerator is found just below the Plasma Rifle spawn.

 

The Power Drainer can be picked up not too far from the Frag Grenade spawn by the Flood in the tube.

 

The Battle Rifle spawn can be found a few paces south (toawrd the center of the map) of the Bubble Shield spawn.

 

The Overshield is located not too far from the Shotgun spawn.

 

The Active Camo is located in the same room as the Sniper Rifle.

 

 

Tip #3 – Use that Needler!

Since Cold Storage is a fairly small map, using a Needler can be key to being on top of the scoreboard. There is a hallway leading up to the needler spawn point that can be used as cover from enemies below.

Be weary of greades for they are deadly in close quarters. If they don’t know you’re up there, and you’re sitting up there giving deadly pika-boo to your enemies, you have full rights to laugh your ass off at them.

 

Tip #4 – Teleporters

You may end up behind one or more unsuspecting enemies if you use the teleporters correctly. An example of using the teleporter system strategically would be using the teleporter behind the Plasma Rifle spawn. This puts you in the same location as the Active Camo and the Sniper Rifle.

Just try to make sure no one else is waiting on the other side. Only then will your plans for slaughter be successful.

 

Tip #5 – Cheek to Cheek

Cold Storage is a close-quarter map. The Sniper Rifle should not be used frequently unless you’re decent at no-scoping (see Teabag Prevention article #1). Weapons such as Rockets and Shotguns fit the map perfectly.

During a Free-For-All match, getting to the Rocket Laucher first can be key at achieving victory – at first.

Shotguns play an important role too. They kill at close range, are the easiest weapon to use in the game, and they disable an enemy’s shield with one shot. If you’re going up against someone with a Battle Rifle or Assualt Rifle, you should be able to win – if you’re close enough.

If you can’t get your hands on these weapons, it might be best to just stick to your Assault Rifle. Use Equipment to change the field of battle also. There are many ways of going into battle, but there are many mistakes. Here’s one:

 

Equipment can be very dangerous here, because the map is so close-quarters that you may very well use them against yourself accidentally. Be careful of this, Happy Bungie Day, and have fun!

Things to Remember:

  • You WILL lose if you don’t utilize your sorroundings.
  • Close-quarter combat is a must. Equip the necessary weapons.
  • Equipment can change the field of battle.
  • Know your weapon spawns.

 

This special edition of Teabag Prevention was written by:

 

 

This special edition of Teabag Prevention as always, was edited by:

 

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

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Also, join our new Facebook Group!

 

 

Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #12 – Equipment (2 of 3)

by jake108

Happy Fourth of July, Scapists. We never rest here at Teabag Prevention because neither does the enemy. We’ve decided that a lot of you probably don’t go outside for anything, even if your parents tell you to. You’re rebels like that. So we’ve been kind enough to make this second part of the Equipment Mini-Series explosion-based to commemorate our country’s independence, happiness, and affinity for exploding the other team.

 

THIS WEEK: THE TRIP MINE (85 Seconds it detonates if not already exploded)

Tip #1 – HAVE A NICE MINE!

The trip mine is the only Equipment item that directly kills opponents or vehicles. So take extreme advantage of this and also be very wary of its capabilites. When you hear a beeping and see an orange light, pay attention and be more attentive – you’ve got some ‘splodin to do. When playing in teams, always make sure to let your teammates know that it is around – otherwise you may get an accidental triple betrayal. There’s no achievement for that, no matter how cool it sounds.

 

 

Tip #2 I’LL TENDERIZE ‘IM!!!

When in a situation tighter than your sister’s jacket, the mine can take out enemy vehicles instantly. The vehicles might need a little tenderizing first, but once you lay that mine, a kill is in reach. Be sure to stay away from the vehicle, when doing this, because even though the blast should kill it and its passenger, you may also get caught up in that explosion.

TIP #3 DO IT AROUND PEOPLE

The Trip Mine can also be used to your best advantage in Flag/Bomb/or Big Team Battle games. Here’s how: plant your Trip Mine right at the base of your Flag or Bomb and make it so that an unsuspecting enemy goes for the victory Flag journey or for the Bomb arming and he ends up getting ‘sploded instead. That’s right. ‘Sploded

TIP #4 LISTEN ALL Y’ALL IT’S A SABOTAGE!

In Big Team Battle maps such as Valhalla you can sabotage the vehicles, or even items, using Trip Mines before anyone ever gets to them. You’re setting a booby trap. We said trap.

Here’s one: throw the Trip Mine under a vehicle so that the beeping and orange light are muffled and relatively unnoticeable. Once someone turns on the engine, it doesnt purr anymore. It will ‘splode

TIP #5 EXPLODE FROM WHEREST YOU CAME, MONSTER!

The simplest option with the Trip Mine is to lay the mine exactly where it is spawned. Anyone in a rush, at the beginning of a match, trying to go around the map picking up their favorite weapons before going out and Slaying might accidentally pick it up and do some ‘splodin. You’re really counting on someone’s stupidity here. Luckily, it won’t let you down.

TIP #6 BUBBLE TRAP
Combine the Trip Mine with a Bubble Shield. Here are two ways in which this can be effective:

1. When someone is in it just throw a mine during battle or while they are chasing you and it’ll explode with the full force of the Lord inside the Shield while you are perfectly unharmed. Just like in last week when we combined grenades and bubble shields.

2. Smarten up and in a congested battle situation, where most people will be running around like headless chickens and looking for safety from vehicles or crossfire, lay down your Trip Mine in a deployed Bubble Shield. Someone is bound to need the cover and accidentally step into their own private Michael Bay-level explosion. Warning: make sure you, or your teammates, don’t need the cover first.

TIP #7 NOT SO HARD TO KILL

 Now that you know exactly how gruesome, how dangerous, and how unbelievably risky laying down this important and amazing piece of equipment is you’re probably thinking “it’s too powerful…it’ll become sentient…it’ll destroy us all!” Well, don’t worry my Skynet fearing friend, you can destroy a trip mine by doing the following:

1. Shooting it a little bit.

2. Throwing a grenade at it.

3. Convincing a suicidal Spartan that it’s a good idea.

Note: You may also use these ways to kill (and therefore detonate) the Trip Mine to set traps from afar. When someone is near it and thinks they are safe, you may be on the other side of the map, waiting to shoot it and detonate their face. You may also use this trick with vehicles.

 

Things to Remember

1. Trip Mines take a very long time to detonate unless tripped – 85 seconds to be exact.

2. These things force you to be smart. Set traps, don’t throw them around yourself or you’ll seem more suicidal than Sean Kingston.

3. Make the Trip Mine’s disadvantages your advantages. Kind of like when you’re in a relationship.

 

Please tune in Next Week for the end of the Three-Part Equipment Mini-Series where we finish you off…er…give you tips on Grav Lifts and Power Drains. Same Bag time, Same Bag channel. Now go to your barbeque and tell girls that don’t care what you’ve learned today.

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

 

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article, as always, was edited by:

 

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

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Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #11 – Equipment

by jake108

In the months before Halo 3’s beta release, the mysterious “X button” fuction plagued the interwebs. Ridiculous rumors were spread far and wide. Once it was even believed that its function was to steal an oppenent’s weapon while it was attached to their back.

Then, we were told that this new function would change the way Halo is played. This left many wondering if a 3rd person camera view was open to a push of a button. After videos of leaked footage emerged, we soon found out what the answer was.

On May 16, 2007, Halo players were giddy to use this…

 

THIS WEEK – EQUIPMENT

BUBBLE SHIELD

Tip #1 APARTMENTS FROM THE FUTURE!…

Use the Bubble Shield as a means of getting closer to your opponents or to your most prized weapon. When you’re in an area that’s hot like mama’s freshly baked cookies and you want to get there, use the Bubble Shield as a ways to extend your safety. Toss it away from yourself and as far forward to your objective as possible. To do this, look up into the sky and toss it into the air. Once you’ve deployed it, and reached it safely, you will be nice and cozy in your new temporary home.

 

Tip #2 – …THEY ALSO COME WITH LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES!

When you’re low on shields and being chased by the man it is always a good idea to deploy a Bubble Shield to or near your destination, just like the above tip. The difference here is that once you see your opponent approaching you’re going to toss a grenade of any sort inside your own shield…

Jump out once your opponent is in in. You are now on the offense. The shield will explode, along with their face. You have now handed out some Exploding-flavored pain to them while you remain completely unharmed. Your next move is to then jump back into the fight and finish the yorb since they are now completely helpless – if they’re not already dead, that is.

Tip #3 – BITE OFF WHAT YOU CAN CHEW

Bubble shields do not stop road rage so DO NOT use them for protection against mobile objects themselves. DO use them against a vehicle’s weaponry. When under heavy fire from a vehicle you should toss a shield, while avoiding the vehicle of course, and either “stick em” or raid their vehicle. It is protection against the vehicle’s fire power, not the vehicle itself. Don’t just stand there, shoot the bitches.

And hope for the best…

 

Note: The Bubble Shield lasts for a total of 20 seconds.

REGENERATOR

Tip #4 – A SNIPER’S BEST FRIEND

This handy tool gets put to good use in long-range combat situations. Let’s say you end up without any protection and all you have is a sniper rifle. This will keep your shields in tact and provide extra support under fire so that you are very powerful (but not invulnerable) when taking out your enemies from afar.

Also when things become close range, you can still use the sniper to get a no scope and melee. Whenever in a hand-to-hand fight in a regenerator, you have the higher advantage of defeating the opponent if you fire at them first and then whack. Fire then whack. Fire. Then whack. Or just two consecutive whacks. Just make sure you keep your whacking high, otherwise you’re done for…what?

Tip #5 – EXPLOSIVE, BUT DEADLY…

Unfortunately the regenerator doesnt have the speed to heal you when you are hit by explosives, so the more explosive weapons like Rockets, Grenades, and The Brute Shot are more capable of killing you while you’re in a regenerator. Be wary of that.

High powered or high rated firing weapons, such as the Machine Gun Turrent or Needler, are also capable of killing you in the regenerator. These must be used to their full potential, though. Here’s an example of me using a grenade to its fullest potential…

Not so safe now, are you?

 

Notes:

– Using the regenerator as an added element of surprise in long-range battles works great. So does staying with a teammate and actually using the regenerator selflessly to heal.

– You can still die under fire by BR’s and/or Carbines. Needlers are the quickest and most effective weapons when playing against someone in a Regenerator.

– The Regenerator also lasts a total of 20 seconds.

 

Teabag Prevention Bonus Tip!…THE FLARE

FLARE

Tip #6 – OH TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOOOOOOOOOOW!

Much like Phil Collins, The Flare is taken out of basically all of matchmaking – so this tip will be mostly for you custom matches fanatics. We see too many people misusing these, so here’s how to be smart about The Flare.
The Flare obviously takes out your vision. That is its only function. What you’re left with after you deploy or are faced with a Flare is that it does not take out your radar and your reticule or crosshair. The crosshairs will still turn red when an enemy is in them. Take advantage of this when under the Flare’s warming light. Stop looking in front of you and use only your radar and crosshair. This is the best defensive tactic in a Flare situation aside from just leaving the affected area.

 

Tip #7 -DON’T LOOK AT ME WHILE I’M SHOOTING YOU

When you have a short ranged weapon or uber powerful one, use the Flare to disorient your opponent, but pay attention to where they are or where they are heading because you will be slighlty blinded yourself. So once the Flare is in effect, blast away my friend.

The Flare is also very effective in large groups or flag/bomb games. See a bunch of people guarding the flag? Throw the flare down. By the time the Flare’s gone, their flag is too. Just make sure to divert your own eyes – the Flare will blind the player who throws it, too (we can’t stress this enough).

Things to Remember

1. Your Bubble Shield will help you get places unharmed. Not camp out.

2. Bubble Shields will protect against vehicles’ weapons, not the vehicles themselves. Use this to defeat vehicles.

3. Whack off inside a Regenerator.

4. Needlers will kill people in Regenerators. So will Rockets. And Sniping. And well-thrown Grenades.

5. Flares will blind you too, so make sure you’re looking at the right stuff – Your Radar and Your Crosshair.

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

 

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article, as always, was edited by:

 

 

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Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #10 – The Assualt Rifle

by jake108

Week 10 already? My God it’s seemed like longer. We here at Teabag Prevention would like to say thank you for reading Weeks 1-10 (and if you haven’t, then this is a not-so-subtle hint telling you to do so, asshole) of Teabag Prevention. This is not the end (well, it is the end of this chapter), but the beginning – as this is only the first chapter in how not to get some Spartan balls in your face.

We’re going to end it the way you start out most games. Not with a whisper, not with a bang, but with an Assault Rifle.

 

THIS WEEK: THE ASSAULT RIFLE

 

TIP #1 SHORT BURSTS OF LOVE

The Assualt Rifle is most accurate when being shot in short burts of fire. Holding the trigger down is going to provide you with more misses than hits. When shooting an Assault Rifle at mid-range (for lack of having a better weapon in your possession *ahem*!), you are going to have to shoot in short bursts.

 

 

TIP #2 OVERCOMPENSATE FOR YOUR INADEQUATE ACCURACY

Due to the inaccuracy of the weapon, you may run out of bullets before your opponent is dead. If you run out of bullets completely your clip will automatically reload. If you are 100% sure that your clip will not kill your opponent, then the best choice you can make is your reloading time. If it seems like your opponent is not going to kill you with their clip, then you are very lucky. If this is the case, please reload before your oppoenent starts reloading. This will give you the split-second head start that will make the entire difference in a shoot out. Unless they have a Battle Rifle – in which case you’re dead.

Really, if you’re lucky enough to get the second chance to kill your enemy, don’t waste it.

 

TIP #3 HIT IT OR QUIT IT

An important thing to remember is when to melee. Too many gamers out there either melee too early or too late. It’s a common mistake. It’s also very important to know when your opponent’s shield is low enough to conduct a melee.

It takes about half an Assault Rifle clip to lower their shield…

…enough so that one melee can finish the job. Pimp slap that bitch. Hard. She gone done you wrong.

 

TIP #4 SPRAY THE PREMATURE HITTER! SPRAAAAAAAAAY!

If you see your opponent seemingly following the tip above, you can either continue with tip #3’s strategy, if you feel comfortable with pulling a Romeo + Juliet with him/her,

or you can take a step back and continue firing and finish your opponent off with the remainder of your clip.

Then snicker at their failure. Early meleeing will be the death of a lot of intermediate players. Take advantage of this.

 

Tip #5 …BUT I DID-NOT SHOOT-THE VEE-HI-CLE!

The Assualt Rifle doesn’t have an effect on vehicles unless the person(s) occupying them has their shields depleted or near depleated. For example, If a enemy Banshee is flying over you with low shields,you can try your short round burts, or, depending on how close the enemy is, you can go all out. You have the ability to kill whoever’s occupying that vehicle – BUT don’t be dumb enough to think it’s going to kill the vehicle itself. Slim to none, my friend, slim to none.

 

Another example is enemy in a Ghost. If the person’s shields are depleted, and driving away from you, SHOOT THEM!!!

 

 

 

Things to remember:

  • Like all projectile weapons, a grenade-projectile combo is always good. So, throw a grenade, lower their shields, and unload half a clip in ’em. That should do it!
  • Shoot in small bursts of fire
  • Reload strategically and compensate for the weapon’s inaccuracy.
  • Spray the shit out of early meleeers.
  • Works on vehicles only if thier occupants shields are low

Once again, thank you for reading the Weapons Series. This concludes your broadcast day on weapons. You should be able to kill all bitches with anything you see lying on the ground now. Go outside. Pick something up. Kill someone. Take it from us, it is perfectly acceptable!*

 

*Note: It is completely unacceptable to kill any human person. By outside we meant Valhalla. Go there. It’s pretty…
Indian Thing

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article, as always, was edited by:

 

 

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Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #9 – Dual Wieldable Weapons

by jake108

 

Finding multiple dual wieldable weapons in the same area is like choosing between two blondes and two red heads. It’s ok to experiment, but if you choose the wrong combo you’ll fail miserably. Some combinations that may work for certain people can be disastrous for others. The following are just some examples of the different combinations you can choose from.

Note: you’re going to hear a lot about Plasma Rifles and Plasma Pistols. The reason why they don’t get their own tips is because of how common they in the grand scheme of combinations. Also, they are reffered to as: Shield disablers – aka the obvious choice.

THIS WEEK – DUAL WIELDABLE WEAPONS

Tip #1 – OPPOSITES ATTRACT

 

Dual wielding two of the same weapon MAY NOT be as good as a combination of two weapons. For example: If you pick up a Plasma Rifle and an SMG, you’ll be sure to take out anyone else holding two Plasma Rifles or two SMG’s. The reason? A Plasma Rifle’s purpose in life is to disable one’s shields

An SMG’s purpose in life is to simply penetrate you…as in your skin. Anyway, combine the two and you get a penetrating-shield-disabling combination of a kill.

Look how cute they look together!

 

 

 

Tip #2 – MAUL RATS

 

The Mauler can be the most annoying weapon in the game. One shot and one melee is all it takes to send you to Spartans (or Elite)Hell…and to possibly dine there as well (I’m sorry, we know how crappy that movie is..but it was there…it was late….)

So aside from it being annoying (or a window for annoying references), a Mauler can also rbe combined with other weapons for maximum effect. The Mauler is one of the “penetrating types” (as opposed to the “shield disablers”). Sure, it lowers your shield, but it acts like a small Shotgun. Combining this weapon with a Plasma Rife or a Plasma Pistol will give you the upper hand on disabling your enemy’s shield…

…it will also give you a straight shot at them. In this case, dual wielding Maulers can be a good thing, but only if you’re at close range. It’s usually not the best idea, though.

 

TIP #3 PISTOL P.I.

 

 

Ahh, the pistol…errr…um…I mean Magnum, you have evolved over the course of six years and seven months. Since the disabling of the zoom function, the Magnum has become a dual wieldable weapon. Though it looks bad-ass holding two Magnums, (even more so in Halo 2 because they’re jet black),

 

They aren’t very effective unless you get spot-on headshots. Even then, it can be difficult to score a kill.

To make it easier, pick up a Plasma Pistol up and use its charging capabilities to disable your opponent’s shield.

Once you’ve got that done, it’s pretty much a one-shot kill.

 

Tip #4 – I LIKE SPIKE

 

 

Spikers are part of the “penetrating type” family (that sounds horrible…), and yes it would hurt to be penetrated by a spike. Using this weapon with a Plasma Rifle or Plasma Pistol is a great combination to use.

Like the Maulers, two Spikers can be effective at close range. This weapon is a good one to use in any combination. It can go to medium range if needed, but keep in mind that the spikes have a slight arc.

 

So if you do go medium-range on someone’s ass, make sure you aim at their mid to lower back, like so:

 

And then, enjoy the results.

 

Things to remember:

  • A good map to test all these variations out would be: The Pit
  • One combination might not always work. Experiment with what you have.
  • Shield disablers + penetraition = WIN!
  • Shield disablers + Sheild disablers = LOSS
  • Double Penetration = Everyone Wins…

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written and edited by:

 

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:
www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

 

Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #8 – Spartan Laser

by jake108

Isn’t it funny when someone takes a laser pointer to a concert and makes it look like Tinkerbell is dancing on the lead singer’s junk? This is the one I wish someone would take to an American Idol taping. The Spartan laser is hell in a bottle. Get ready to start pouring it out all over your dead homeboys.

The Spartan laser, or “Splaser” as it is called by the biggest of dorks, has a few quirks to it that you need to get used to before you can dole out the damage. Here are some tips that will make it easier for you to make your friends inclined to call you a cheater.

 

This week in Teabag Prevention: The Spartan Laser

Tip #1: THEY CHARGE YOU BY THE HOUR

Much like Brian Gilmore’s average sexual encounters, the laser has a three second charge time that is required before every shot. Get used to it. If you somehow get into a cross map game of laser tag, knowing this three seconds deep down in your bones will keep you alive.

 

Tip #2: NO FREE REFILLS

The laser doesn’t use “ammo” like most weapons, but instead has a battery. A battery is full at 100 with each shot taking 20 away for a total of FIVE shots per laser. Keep track of these not only for your own laser, but also be sure to let your teammates know if you get taken out with the opponent’s. If you die via laser, then the opposing team can have no more than 4 shots left. Be sure to play on the conservative side until you know it’s safe for your team to start with the razzle-dazzle.

Another way to piss off the enemy with the laser would be to toss up a bubble shield. On maps like Sandtrap, it may be difficult for the other enemy to see the bubble shield from far away. Also, this may require Jedi reflexes:

 

Tip #3: USE A TRIPOD

The best way to use the laser is to plant your feet and follow your enemy. There is no need to “lead”, or shoot where your opponent is GOING to be, because it’s a fucking LASER right? Speed of light anyone? Anyone? Bueller? While this can be true, if you can anticipate where your opponent will be as opposed to where they are you won’t give them much chance to hide. While someone is “painted” (the laser is aimed at them and charging) they hear a distinct high pitch tone. Let them find out as opposed to telling them in advance. Here’s an example on my file share. I was pinned down by a fully loaded warthog, but anticipated their path and added two notches to my bedpost:

http://www.bungie.net/forums/posts.aspx?h3fileid=18056634

TIP #4 UNLEASH THE FURY

The same shot that you used to kill one enemy on foot could have been used to kill four people at once, blow up two vehicles, stop a bomb carrier, and get a killing spree. The laser is a POWER weapon, but only as powerful as you allow it to be. This is a clip of a friend of mine doing all of the above:

http://www.bungie.net/forums/posts.aspx?h3fileid=18066886

 

TIP #5 ABUSE PREDICATBILITY

Say you’re in a smaller map map, such as Construct, the laser isnt as good as a weapon as it would be if you were out in an open map such as Vallhalla or Avalance…or is it?

Walkng around with the laser, charging it even before you see the enemy, can be helpful. In the screenshot below, notice how the arrow is pointing to the midsection of the outer circle.

 

When they’re running out, you’ll have your laser charged by then.

Then…..

…they’ll have no choice but to walk into the light.

 

Things to Remember:

1. 3-second Rule: The laser takes three seconds to shoot. Plan accordingly.

2. The Laser has limited ammo, so use accordingly.

3. I’ve got the power! Make sure you realize you can stand still and aim accordingly (mostly on big maps).

4. Plan your kills accordingly. Use the laser to its maximum potential.

5. Anticipate your opponents’ trajectory. They’ll never know what hit them…until you do.

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention article was written by:

jake108 

 

 

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore

 

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:


http://www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

 

 

 

 

 

Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #7 – The Needler

by jake108

The needler is a small, dangerous, pink and sticky weapon. Don’t let the size of it fool you, because it is not the size that matters – it’s what you do with it. On this week’s Teabag Prevention, we teach you how to stick your pink in the right places.

THIS WEEK: THE NEEDLER

 

 

TIP #1 PINK ISN’T THE NEW ANYTHING. BLACK RULES.

 

 

Nobody likes to wear pink. Well, unless they’re a douche, nobody likes to wear pink. Don’t be “that guy”.

During a needler face-off the most important part of the battle is knowing how to dodge the sharp needles being thrust into your body.

 

if your enemy has The Needler as well, you need to either get

a) Closer to them, or

b) Farther away.

Doesn’t sound helpful? Here’s what we mean:

a) If you don’t move, you’re an easy target. This weapon is very deadly at medium to close range. Your best bet here, as their needles will follow your body everywhere, is to get to him before he kills you. You both probably started firing at the same time. Both of you will most likely die. It only takes a little over half a clip to kill you. Once it is – you’re toast; but so is he. You don’t want to tie up the score; you want to win. The best thing you can do in a N vs. N is to approach them until you can hit them. If you’re not dead yet and he doesn’t hit you back, then you will most likely survive. Otherwise, be ready to become the Juliet to his Romeo.

.

Note: When dodging at close range, dont run straight into it. It only takes about seven insertions to create a large explosive stink.

 

 

 

b) If you’re any father away than medium range, you’re going to want to move backwards. More importantly, though, you’re going to want to hit your opponent with everything you’ve got (simultaneously). Make sure to strafe left and right and maybe to even jump (just don’t hurt yourself by going off any ledges). By doing that, the needles will have less of a chance at hitting you (which is good).

If you don’t…

…you will die.

Note: Remember it only takes about half a clip to kill you. It’s not really important to tell you how many consecutive needles would kill you, because come on – who the hell’s counting those

 

 

TIP #2 WE ARE.

 

It is important to know your spawns in Halo, but it is almost equally important to know (approximately) how much ammo it takes to kill with each weapon and how much each weapon holds.

 

We already know that The Needler can kill you in a little over half of clip’s worth of shooting. The Needler itself can run out of ammo fairly quickly because of how fast it releases its bullets. The Needler magazine holds only 19 needles, so the maximum amount of ammunition consists of 95 needles. The needler is only effective when it you can empty about half your load into someone else. An under-loaded Needler is like a guy with E.D. – useless when it matters and in need of some serious medical attention.

 

 

TIP #3 SHERLOCK HOMING

 

 

The Needler has a slight homing ability, but it needs a little bit of guidance – this is where you come in. In order to use the needler efficiently, you need to predict your opponent’s dodges. For example, if they start strafing to the left or right, shoot ahead of them. If they start getting creative, try and “guesstimate” their trajectory and shoot there.

 

 

 

 

TIP #4 QUANTITY IS QUALITY

 

At medium range, empty your load quick and get out. It takes a lot of practice, but once you master getting as much of your clip into a person as possible while dodging their attacks, you will win battles against battle rifles, carbines and other mid-ranged weapons. The needler, if used correctly, can win any mid-range battle (might a little hard against rockets, though).

 

Note: Don’t try facing off against a sword with a needler at closer range at home…for now.

TIP #5 THAT MOVIE WAS HORRIBLE. DON’T REMIND US OF IT.

 

DO NOT USE THE NEEDLER ON A VEHICLE. HOLY CRAP. IT CANNOT BE STRESSED ENOUGH THAT THE ONLY RESULT YOU WILL GET FROM FIRING NEEDLES AT A VEHICLE IS MAKING IT LOOK LIKE A CHARACTER FROM THAT HORRIBLE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE FROM THE 90’S.

Things to Remember:

1. Dodging is half the battle. Make sure you can dodge in a way your enemy won’t be able to predict.

2. Count on bad dodgers to plan their trajectory and pump them full of needles before they can kill you.

3. Keep your Needler fully loaded.

4. Keep dodging – The Needler is a great mid-range weapon.

5. Don’t make vehicles look like the pads on the Legion of Doom.

Get out there and use your Needler responsibly. Wow. That was hard to get through without making any immature penis jokes revolving around the color of the bullets and the fact that they stay inside your opponent. Let’s breathe.

 

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention was written by:

Edited by:

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at TeabagPrevention@gmail.com And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

myspace.com/teabag_prevention

 

 

 

Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #6 – The Rocket Launcher

by jake108

Rockets no doubt cause explosions that leave those unfortunate to be near them massive damage, if not death, in their faces. The first and unspoken (yet not un-written) rule of Rockets is that splash damage (the damage caused by being near a rocket explosion – as opposed to a direct hit) is key to taking out just about anything with the Rocket Launcher. Sure, it’s always better to have a direct hit, but sometimes, that may not be possible – so you’ll have to enjoy that show next time. Thinking of a cheap semen joke? Neither are we. Welcome to Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #6

THIS WEEK: THE ROCKET LAUNCHER

 

Tip #1 – WATCH THEM SHOWER

If you have one of these fine pieces of weaponry during a team slayer match, your chances of getting an overkill or an extermination increase four-fold. One of the best things to do to the other team is to stalk them. We know what you’re thinking “Finally! This is legal!”. Well get ready for the stalk of your life because now that you have the rockets, you are a hunter. A stealthy ninja. You are not the 8ft. tall monster that you feel like. You need to use strategy and your cunning wit. You need to stalk your prey in order to get the possible best shot. There is a chance that your time to kill all of them at once may never come. But if it does, aim your crossair to the center of the huddle/squabble and hear that wonderful man’s voice say (at the very least) “Double Kill!”.

Remember: Splash Damage. Right in the middle.

It may not kill them, but that’s why you have two rockets before you have to reload. “Extermination”. Music to our ears.

 

Tip #2 – ROCKETS AGAINST THE MACHINE

Splash damage also works on vehicles that are light to medium in weight. These vehicles include: Mongoose, Warthog, Chopper, and Ghost. All of the above vehicles travel at a fast enough rate so that it can be hard to score a direct hit with a rocket launcher. This is why you should aim at the path ahead of the vehicle. Doing so will surely flip the vehicle or cause it to veer of its intended course.

Also, by doing this, you have a good chance at defeating the vehicle altogether.

Note: A mongoose may fly away and you may actually be saving this person from your wrath if your shot isn’t executed directly enough. To ensure death, make sure to shoot the person on the mongoose a little before unleashing your rockets on them.

Tip #3 PRE-EMPTIVE ‘SPLODIN

Take their important and potentially devastaing vehicles to the abortion clinic. Rockets have a use other than killing in Halo. In games where vehicles are very important and may give your opponents the upper hand, specifically in “Objective” games found in Big Team Battle, disabling the enemy’s vehicles will not only piss them off; it will instantly give your team the upper hand. Get rid of the vehicles before they’re even used.

 

Tip #4 BE PSYCHIC

Flying vehicles may be the hardest target for the rocket launcher. If you’re just crazy enough to try it because you’re a rogue spartan and your plan to foil the evil flying vehicle may be just crazy enough to work, then the best thing to do is to put your plan into perspective:

Imangine you actually go outside occassionally and that you’re a quarterback for a football team. Imagine there are no women involved. We know, We know. Bare with us. You’re a quarterback. The Banshee is your dumb-ass, yet more attractive and over-appreciated, reciever. You don’t know which way it’s going to turn. You think you know, but it may decide otherwise. In this case you’ve got to use your animal instincts (what A.I. should stand for) to make sure it makes that catch. Shoot in front of your target, but make sure you shoot at the place where you think the it’ll intercept – this may not necessarily be its obvious trajectory.

Once you think you’ve got ’em, zoom out and watch the fireworks.

Only then can you celebrate and feel good about yourself. This is extremely difficult to do – like your grandmother. And also like your doin’ sweet ol’ granny, the wait and the effort put into the end result will be well worth it. Ok that’s just disgusting.

Tip #5 TANK YOU VERY MUCH

Like step-children, tanks and wraiths can be difficult to deal with. They have tough armor and can probably kill you faster than you can kill them. The trick here is the same as with any other vehicle, aim at the path they’re going in. Luckily, wraits and tanks are much slower, so you’ll have to adjust your measuring. This should be extremely easy.

Be presistent. With enough direct hits, you CAN win – just make sure you stay out of its way and keep your distance. Apply Tip #1 and use your ninja skillz to shoot from a safe place. From Wraiths to Tanks, this should do the trick.

 

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

– Be stealthy. Plan your hits.

– Don’t go for direct hits on people – go for Splash Damage on people.

– Direct hits are for vehicles.

– Use this weapon against vehicles – and if you’re in an objective game, use it against vehicles even if they’re not moving.

 

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention was written by:

 

 

 

Edited by:

 

And for those of you who wondering if you should be working towards killing Mr. Gilmore, don’t worry you probably already can. He can kick your ass in “real life”, though -unless you’ve reached the national average height for men.

 

 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at TeabagPrevention@gmail.com And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

 

 

 

Teabag Prevention: How to Suck Less at Halo Week #5 – The Brute Shot

by jake108

It was introduced to us in Halo 2. It has claimed many Warthogs and even more lives of the ones who wield them. Calm down, back off, don’t kill yourself with that thing, make sure you’re being safe while using it and make sure it’s completely full before you waste its load. We’re talking about The Brute Shot and its best – and most practical uses- during this week’s Teabag Prevention!

 

THIS WEEK: THE BRUTE SHOT

 

Tip #1 – FASTER BRUTEYSHOT, KILL! KILL!

If you’re looking for a quick and squishy-sound-making kill, then look no further. The Brute shot has many advantages; one being a quick and dirty kill. This one’s easy and is only to be used when in close combat. It’s a one-two punch.

First, if you know you’re going to run into an enemy around the corner, get ready to kill that bitch.

 

Shoot once,

 

then melee.

 

That’s all it takes.

 

Tip #2 PLANES, BRUTESHOTS, AND AUTOMOBILES

Brute shots can be used for more than just the straight kill. The rounds that fire out of the Brute Shot are powereful enough to overturn a light to medium weight vehicle such as a Warthog or a Ghost. However, they are rather useless against Wraiths, Scorpions, Banshees, and Hornets.

If you’re playing an objective game on a large map, a Brute Shot may help with the many ground vehicles that you may come into contact with. But remember, it takes well placed shots to take down a Warthog.

A Warthog, for example, is farily easy to flip if you manage to land some shots under the Warthog.

 

 

Watch it flip and…..

 

 

Stare into their eyes like a betrayed lover in their last few seconds of this life, then….

…with a few well-placed shots, it should go up in flames faster than my last relationship!

 

 

Tip # 3 BEWARE OF THE HEAVIER ONES: THEY ARE A WASTE OF YOUR TIME. MOVE ON! NO…D-DON’T…GOD DAMMIT…

It’s not a good idea to charge heavy vehicles with a Brute Shot. Sure, it may do some damage, but they’ll kill you faster than you can kill them. Things not to try to kill are:

Banshees

Hornets

Wraiths

Scorpions

Choose your battles wisely. It’s like when you choose to not correct your girlfriend’s malapropisms during a fight. It’s not worth it and you can win, and live, more effectively by moving on.

As you can see here, you can try your best to escape the inevitable,

 

But they’ll most likely always win. And even if they don’t, you shouldn’t be going into fights you know you can’

…deal with it.

 

 

 

 

Tip # 4 YOU CALL THAT A KNIFE?

Things are a little differnt when it comes to meleeing with a Brute Shot. For those of you who didnt notice the large blade on the weapon, proceed to notice it now. It’s huge. Seriously. Look at it. You didn’t notice that? Come on now.

For a regular weapon, it takes a couple of melees to do the job. With a Brute Shot, a jump and a melee at the same time will knock out an enemies shields rendering them one-shot kills.

 

 

 

If you’re playing a Team game, this can turn into a great assist. If not, it’s your choice on how to finish the job. You can hit them with your body or give them a quick shot to the body or face.

 

Tip #5 TOTALLY STRAIGHT. SWEAR TO GOD.

Unlike most other weapons in the game, The Brute Shot does not fire at an arch. Once you aim the crosshair at something, it’s not going to fall short or drift off into another direction. It’s going to go where you are pointing. This makes the Brute Shot a great medium-ranged weapon.

As seen here, all you have to do is keep the crosshair on your oppenent, wait for it to turn red, and you’ll be in for a kill.

Tip #6 TAKE THE BOTTOM

Now, its importnat to keep your crosshair on your targeted enemy at all times, even when they’re jumping around like kangaroos – which works great in Halo, but will make you look like a jack ass in most other games; or in real life. This ties in with Tip #4 simply because the fact that the Brute Shot does not have an arch comes into play. When firing at an enemy thats jumping from a position higher than you, you may want to aim below that person so that the grenade will hit them.

With persistent hits (about 3 dead-on shots or 4-5 general hits), you will eventually kill them.

 

s

Things to Rememer:

-The Brute Shot has no arch to it

-It proves to be a tide-turner when in combat with ground based vehicles other than tanks

-Has a melee advantage (the huge blade that makes up most of the weapon)

-Pick on something you know you can destroy.

Now that you know more about how to not kill yourself with this weapon, go out and use it. It really is an extremely straight-forward weapon. Don’t you wish girls (or men, whatever you dig) came with instructions this easy? Thanks for reading! See you next week.

 

This week’s Teabag Prevention was brought to you by:


For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at TeabagPrevention@gmail.com And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

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