This Halloween I walked through Terror Behind the Walls at Eastern State Penitentiary for the first time. As I wandered through the dark corridors and was grabbed and thrown around and exposed to creepy stuff I had one thought, “Someone should make a horror film where a killer is loose in a Haunted House.”

It turns out that writer/director Ben Begley had the exact same idea (for further evidence, listen to his recent appearance on Geekscape).

The Funhouse Massacre isn’t a film that anyone is going to call a good movie. That however, isn’t what it’s trying to be at all. The Funhouse Massacre isn’t trying to set itself up to be ranked beside the likes of Halloween and Psycho as a horror classic for the ages. Instead, it’s a movie that wants to be ranked next to Tourist Trap as a good fun slasher film that you recommend your friends.

The movie takes place on Halloween night; there’s a controversial haunted house inspired by real serial murders from the area. Meanwhile, those exact same psychopaths have all escaped from the asylum and have taken over the haunt. A group of diner employees are trapped inside the haunt trying to escape and survive. There is constantly successful humor, great jump scares, and amazing death scenes.

I have one problem with The Funhouse Massacre; the entire film feels like an homage to late 80’s/early 90’s slashers. This is a movie for the person who thinks Dr. Giggles is an underrated masterpiece and can quote Sleepaway Camp by heart. However this movie takes place in 2015/2016 and reminds you constantly of that fact. There’s a few jokes that work, but most of them feel dated and or will be dated in a few years. I’d have loved to see this movie just go all out and take place circa-1996 to get rid of cell phones and references to Vine and Instagram and everything like that.

That being said, if that’s my only complaint with this movie, then clearly there’s not much to dislike. If you’re like me and have a weird obsession towards horror movies that take place in haunted attractions (such as The Funhouse or Dark Ride) than you see this movie as soon as possible.

The Funhouse Massacre is available on Blu-Ray from June 7th via Scream Factory. If you’re a horror film this should be on your wish-list already.

https://youtu.be/IUOSL8LhyZQ

This week’s episode reveals a dark truth of this world, that there are 2 types of people on Earth: those that like 1980’s Forbidden Zone, and those that have taste. Matt picked this one, so that basically answers that question (if there was any doubt), and surprisingly, Scott is the most verbally abusive person on the show for once, while Adam is uncharacteristically ambivalent. This is the power of Danny “Satan-guy” Elfman. Bring your blackface and incessant need to hump strangers, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Hey Millenials! You like Gremlins, right?? Of course you do! Critters? Well, duh! How about the K-Mart spawn of both franchises thrown in a blender with some funky 8-tracks, the Pee-Wee’s Playhouse DVD set, and an economy-sized bottle of Viagra? Take a sip of that, it probably tastes like 1987’s Munchies! The guys tear this one apart, which inevitably lead to a number of (thankfully) less sexually-charge, more kid-friendly sequels. Hope you’re hungry, cuz it’s Horror Movie Night!

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a mansion full of supposedly-dead celebrities… Wait, is that how the joke goes? It’s probably funnier when Bruce Willis tells it in 1992’s shoulda-been-a-Tales-From-the-Crypt-installment Death Becomes Her. This week is special because everyone pretty much agrees that this movie rules, even Adam – IT’S A MIRACLE! Come on you apes, you wanna live forever?? It’s Horror Movie Night!

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Hop in your fliptop, grab your best girl and pin her up on Lovers’ Lane, because this week, the guys are going steady with 1987’s Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II! Matt is the square Mary Lou is dating, Adam is the one she’s hooking up with backstage at the prom, and Scott is somewhere writing songs about it all. This barely-related sequel to the Jamie Lee Curtis vehicle original has religious parents, teen pregnancy, daddy-daughter tenderness and one of the podcast’s favorite topics: ghost sex. Your tux better be pressed and the corsage cooling in the fridge, because it’s Horror Movie Prom Night…2!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Hey theater geeks, do you feel like you’ve been underrepresented in horror films? Do you demand to be killed off like the jocks that make your life miserable and the beautiful 27-year-old high school girls who won’t give you the time of day? Then look no further than this week’s pick, the sleek 2014 remake of Stage Fright! The guys are divided, as Matt and Scott were theater kids in their younger days and Adam was probably out smoking behind the school (or wherever kids go to do their tick-mutating marijuana cigarettes in Canada). There are spontaneous dance numbers, brutal murders, and some pretty obvious connections to Todd & the Book of Pure Evil. What more could you ask for? It’s Horror Movie Night!

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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After a brief hiatus Nostalgia Nightmare is back!

This week we will be discussing the Blu-Ray release of 1973’s Ssssss, a movie that if nothing else has an infamously terrible (but still kinda awesome) title.

The movie tells of a Mad Scientist who is slowly transforming his lab assistant into a snake. He’s doing this because he believes that humanity is doomed to die, but believes that if he can turn everyone into reptiles we’ll be able to survive the end of the world.

This is not a good movie, like at all. That doesn’t matter though, because this isn’t a movie that’s trying  to be good. It knows its premise is ridiculous but tries to act important by pretending it has something to say, it actually becomes entertaining in its badness.

The special effects are fairly forgettable (minus one sequence involving the ‘Snakeboy’ at a circus) but Scream Factory’s transfer allows the movie to look like it’s a masterpiece. It’s definitely fun to see at least once but let’s be honest… if you’re collecting horror movies, you’ll want a movie called Sssssss in your DVD collection.

Pick up your copy today at Scream Factory. Also out this week is the special edition Blu-Ray of Death Becomes Her.

You kids and your suburban problems. You know what you need? A trip to the woods to rough it a little. Nevermind the pervy locals and weed-crazed bugs, you just need a change of scenery. Who’s ready to grill? The guys are discussing 1993’s gooey giant bloodsucking bug flick Ticks this week, and all of the burning marijuana plants and extreme close-ups of Clint Howard push Matt, Adam and Scott to the brink of sanity. Lose your mind on another installment of Horror Movie Night!

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Do you have a crappy handheld camera and vague reason for believing in ghosts? Of course you do! Bring your lace choker and bad haircuts as we subject ourselves to 2000’s The St. Francisville Experiment. Matt and Adam wonder why Scott advocated for this listener pick, and Scott spends most of the episode apologizing for it. We hope you’re not scared of farts, because they’re in abundance on this week’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Well folks, it’s time to dredge up the sins of the past with another retroactive episode of Horror Movie Night. This one takes up back to Stephen King’s, er, Joe Hill’s cinematically adapted (and eviscerated) Horns. Harry Potter fans died inside just about as much as we did while watching this one, and our fury is similar in scope and depth as Daniel Heathcliff’s character here, who one day wakes up with hard protrusions he can’t explain. Sounds a lot like every morning for the HMN guys…

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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All right, ya hosers, it’s time to tighten that grip on your hockey sticks and Molsons, because the guys are traversing the wrinkles in the script of 1988’s Canadian sci-fi horror romp The Brain! Ironically, Adam hates the fruit of his country’s labors (well, maybe not that ironic, he hates everything), but at least Matt and Scott have some glowing praise for this low-budget, alien-filled car chase. The guys suggest crowd-funding the last $5 for The Brain’s budget, so bring your loonies to Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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It’s Wrestlemania Weekend! You know what that means long-time fans of the show! Juan and Josh are back to take NXT Takeover: Dallas and Wrestlemania 32. We go through predictions for the shows as well as the future of WWE.

If you’re curious where I’ve been I’ve been working on my new podcast Horror Movie Club. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Reddit and Geekscape.net!

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What would you do if a brain in a jar was calling the shots? You’d open a vegetarian cafe that actually serves the ground-up flesh of your victims. This week, the guys wade through various limbs and bodily fluids in search of something worthwhile in 1987’s Blood Diner. This Troma reject gets the deluxe treatment, and then the guys go their separate ways to shower in bleach. Don’t order the pea soup, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

It seems as though late 90’s teen slashers are the new hot topic over at Scream Factory, as this month they’re releasing not one but two forgotten gems of the genre.

Today they have released Disturbing Behavior on Blu-Ray. While far from my favorite of these slasher films, there’s still a few things to love in this movie –  specifically anything involving the two stoner characters.

DisturbingBehaviour

The movie is a pseudo remake of a Canadian film called Strange Behavior which I’d go ape-shit over if it was released on Blu-Ray by Scream Factory. Both films follow a small town where any students who are “free thinkers” are slowly transformed into ‘good kids’.

These good kids however tend to have weird laser eyes and slight murderous tendencies. The movie is fun but far from good. However the Blu-Ray is packed with enough fun additions (including a great commentary track) to make this worth adding to your movie collection.

However the better purchase is coming out next week with the release of the criminally underrated Cherry Falls.

CherryFalls

Cherry Falls is a slasher film and a parody of a slasher film at once. It’s very similar to Scream in that sense.

The movie plays off the trope about having sex. In this movie instead of the killer attacking you for having sex, you get slashed for not having sex. When news spreads that the killer is only targeting virgins a group of high school students organize a pop-your-cherry party to save their own lives.

The film is funny, witty and packed full of great scares and laughs. I stumbled upon this once on TV and remembered enjoying it but thanks to Scream Factory you can enjoy every amazing moment of this film. Just like Disturbing Behavior it is packed with some great special features (including commentary, behind the scenes footage and even a copy of the original screenplay).

It’s absolutely a must-have for any serious horror fan.

Cherry Falls is now available for pre-order as well as the double feature release of “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “The Dunwich Horror”. Both films are available on March 29th.

Ever wondered what Mean Girls would be like if it the genders were switched, it took place in 1980 and the Mathletes are swapped for a satanic computer program? Of course you did, and for your mental troubles, we decided to discuss Evilspeak, starring the one and only Clint Howard. Get ready to compare 3 1/2 inch floppies in the shower, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

The luck of the Irish totally snubbed Adam this week, and instead of watching 1995’s evil munchkin-fest Leprechaun 3, he watched the original and then overslept. Matt and Scott snagged his missing shilling, picked up a hitchhiking magician’s assistant and hit the jenkiest place on the Strip. Shitty limericks abound and the guys try their best to be witty without Adam’s unique perspective on all things potato-and-booze related. In the words of Vince Vaughn – it’s Horror Movie Night, baby… Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

This week on the Saint Mort Show it’s fairly Matt-less in favor of a discussion between past guest Brian Soscia and one of Matt’s best friends Molly Neill. Molly is training to be a professional wrestler and gets an opportunity to ask anything she would like to know about the business and Soscia is more than happy to open up about everything.

This isn’t just a podcast for wrestling fans though, this is a podcast for anyone who’s ever had a passion you thought no one else understands. Check it out and Enjoy!

If you’re curious where I’ve been I’ve been working on my new podcast Horror Movie Club. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Reddit and Geekscape.net!

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The Saint Mort Show is back and with returning guest Brian Burger. Brian was on last year promoting his film Jennifer Help Us. Today he joins us to promote the kickstarter for Jennifer Help Us Too and we talk horror movies, childhood scares and post-kickstarter plans.

Don’t waste any time, go donate to Brian’s Kickstarter right now:
www.kickstarter.com/projects/178045…?token=5960b100

If you’re curious where I’ve been I’ve been working on my new podcast Horror Movie Club. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Reddit and Geekscape.net!

Follow Saint Mort on Facebook and Twitter and SoundCloud.

If you really like the show get Matt something nice off his AmazonWishList

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It’s time to pack up your bathing suits, beach hats and beer money, cuz we’re heading to SPRING BREAK WOOO with this week’s pick, 1979’s cult classic Tourist Trap! We are joined by Brian Burger (of Jennifer Help Us fame) and everyone but Adam has a blast talking about screaming mannequin heads, murderous mannequin bodies and sexy mannequin singing. Let’s hit the ol’ swimmin’ hole while its geriatric owner pervs on us, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

Hey all you PUTSes (that’s short for People Under the Stairs…es), no need to fight over the scraps of human flesh thrown to you by your gross incest-y captors, cuz this week we’re discussing YOU! The guys get lost and moderately uncomfortable in the walls of the house Wes Craven built in the early 90s after reading the Boyz n the Hood script, but they somehow make it out to tell the tale – though they may never sell Boy Scout Cookies again. Cut out your tongue, cuz there’s no talking during Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

Apparently, the guys didn’t get enough backwater horror with their previous discussion of Jug Face, so they decided to rewatch 1988’s alien-in-the-woods-no-wait-it’s-a-demon-in-the-woods creature feature Pumpkinhead! Adam yells a lot while Matt and Scott commiserate on the first-class cinematography. Grab your dirt bikes, it’s time to run some kids over on Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

It’s that time of year again – the leaves are changing, the birds are chirping, your nose is bleeding whenever your crush is nearby… Ah, love. What a wondrous thing! It fills your heart with poorly-aimed arrows and your stomach with maggoty chocolates. This week, the guys get all hot and bothered with 2000’s, so fire up the hot tub and put on your bikini, cuz it’s gonna get sweaty – it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

Velcum back to zee Vaxverk! Get rebirthed and listen to the guys discuss the insanity of Waxwork II: Lost in Time, replete with Bruce Campbell’s torso, the entire film’s budget blown on the Alien scenes, My Cousin Vinny’s Reanimated Hand, and the infamous Waxwork rap. Time Warriors unite, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

This week on the podcast we are joined by Jervis Cottonbelly of Chikara Pro Wrestling. He’s here to discuss National Pro Wrestling Day and talk about how to be a true gentleman for Valentine’s Day. After listening to this episode you’ll be wanting to check out Jervis’ gaming & YouTube channels as well as support Chikara’s various events.

If you’re curious where I’ve been I’ve been working on my new podcast Horror Movie Club. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Reddit and Geekscape.net!

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We hope you’re hungry, because this week we’re chewing scene after scene with Billy Zane in 1995’s horror comedy (?) Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight! Adam picked this one on a friend’s suggestion, and now has one less friend; Matt and Scott do their best William Sadler impressions, and more disturbing light is shed on Scott’s morning habits. Grab your flask of Jesus blood, it’s time for another Horror Movie (Demon) Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

The popularity of wrestling has been on a constant upward trajectory ever since the late 90’s “Monday Night Wars” took a niche market and made it mainstream. So popular was the battle between WCW and WWF that indie wrestling exploded. Thanks to a small company called ECW, Philadelphia became a hot bed of underground wrestling.

Living in Philadelphia you have plenty of wrestling shows to attend; WWE, TNA and Ring of Honor make multiple stops throughout the year, we’re the home of House of Hardcore as well as CZW but no wrestling organization is more progressive or as exciting as Chikara.

This small Lucha inspired organization has regular shows in Philadelphia (as well as other places around the Globe) promoting not just a family friendly wrestling show, but also positivity. Chikara is about interactions, seeing underdogs succeed and being as progressive as possible, but it’s also about giving back to the community.

This February 6th will be National Pro Wrestling Day, a yearly event from Chikara where every dollar goes to a good cause. This year the organization is raising money for the Polaris Project. This is a free event held at The Goodwill Beneficial Association in Reading, PA.

Polaris Project is an organization that combats human trafficking, which sadly, impacts more than 20 million victims worldwide, every single day. To combat this crime, Polaris offers local, national, and global programs, serving both labor and sex trafficking victims, using a survivor-centered approach. Widely recognized as one of the most experienced, multi-dimensional, and knowledgeable entities in the anti-trafficking field, Polaris is working to ensure human trafficking networks are permanently disrupted while hope and justice are restored.

NPWD-2016

This year Chikara hopes to raise $2,400 to provide shelter and food for survivors of human trafficking. They will be taking donations at the event but if you don’t live anywhere near Reading you can donate online on their official donations page (live right now)

The show begins at 2pm on February 6th. If you live in the area please come out and support a great cause and some fun wrestling. For more information visit Chikara’s website or their National Pro Wrestling Day website.

When I heard that Scream Factory was releasing Jack’s Back on DVD/Blu-Ray I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. I know that this movie has its fans… but I am not one of them. I reluctantly put the DVD into my player.

Now my previous experience of this movie was watching it when it was briefly on Netflix Instant watch. Like many out of print releases at the time, the Netflix Streaming video quality was equal to a “taped from cable” copy of the movie.

I’m still not in love with Jack’s Back. Of all the the Scream Factory films I own I can say this will be the one I will watch the least often, but I’m beginning to come around to it this second time.

JacksBack

For starters it’s beautifully shot. This was the biggest thing lost in the Netflix Streaming quality vs. the Blu-Ray transfer. Scream Factory really has a gift for taking garbage cinema and making them look like high art (The Town That Dreaded Sundown release being the best example of this).

It’s hard to hate this movie though, it’s just too ridiculous to hate. You’ve got identical twin brothers, copy-cat killers, angry cops… it’s literally every 80’s cliche smashed into one plot line.

The story follows a “Jack the Ripper” copycat killer. A Surgeon played by James Spader is the prime suspect… until he becomes a victim. Shortly after that his identical twin brother arrives at the police station claiming to have visions of the killer and offering his services to help track the killer.

It’s hard to call this a horror movie though. It’s never really horrifying and for an 80’s film about Jack the Ripper it lacks any real gore or jumps. It’s more of a crime drama with a slight supernatural twist.

It’s definitely worth checking out and if you like to collect obscure 80’s titles like I do than it should be in your collection. Pick up your copy today from Scream Factory.

We hope your full metal jacket is polished and ready, because this week, we dive into the stupidest-looking jungle behind our dead aunt’s pool to discuss 1986’s HOUSE! There are used Hellraiser props, flying garden tools, babysitting hijinks and a couple dudes with questionable employment decisions to talk about. Believe it or not, it’s another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes

The end of the world won’t come in the form of Rick Moranis, but actually a guy in a sparkly trenchcoat sporting extreme coke nails and a penchant for underaged girls. Which is funny, because watching 1989’s Monster High would make even the biggest horror fanatic wish for planetary destruction, just so they wouldn’t have to finish it. Lucky for you, we watched it and are here as a cautionary tale. Bring your rolling papers for the monstrous weed plant and your Apple II to replace your dead pal’s head, we’re playing the Basketball Game of the Millennium on this week’s Horror Movie Night!

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Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

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Picture this: you and your best bro (and the rich geek you talked into driving) are hanging out in a seedy strip club, trying to pick up a lady of the night to take back to the frat house for a party. Through the sea of writhing bodies, stale booze and impermeable shame, you see Grace Jones do the most inhuman, bloodless interpretive dance on stage. You must have her. Forget the hot girl you kissed in junior high! Grace Jones or GTFO! This is the plot of 1986’s horror comedy Vamp, so turn off your brains and let the body fluids flow as the guys discuss vampire mythos, 80s racial stereotypes and poorly-pronounced stripper names – it’s Horror Movie Night!

Feel free to join in discussion at on our Facebook Group or in the comments below.

Do you have a movie suggestion for us or just want to tell us stories about your experiences with the movies we’ve watched? Send them to us at HMNPodcast@gmail.com

Also subscribe to our podcast on Soundcloud and iTunes