What happens when a struggling hack writer collides with the dull necessities of modern society at the very moment when its systemic foundation cracks and unleashes hell on Earth? The answer is Cooties.
From the twisted minds of Leigh Whannell (co-creator of Saw and Insidious) and Ian Brennan (co-creator of Glee), Cooties is a horror comedy with unexpected laughs and unapologetic thrills. When a cafeteria food virus turns elementary school children into killer zombies, a group of misfit teachers must band together to escape the playground carnage. The film stars Elijah Wood (The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings), Rainn Wilson (The Office), and Alison Pill (The Newsroom) as teachers who fight to survive the mayhem while hilariously bickering in an uncomfortable love triangle on the worst Monday of their lives.
There’s a world that exists between terror and hilarity—Cooties is that world. Additionally, there is a world that exists between the mundane and the deadly—Cooties is also that world. Lest we forget, there is yet another world that lies between the shackles of huge studio budgets and the freedom doing just what you please with cell phone video—Cooties has a very nice summer cottage in that world.
So should you go see Cooties? Yes, it was a real hoot! (However, you might want to watch this safety video first.) I can see it easily connecting with audiences simply as a fun date movie—where your date squirms into your arms during several scenes—and/or, on the other end of the spectrum, as silly commentary on the American diet overall and poultry production specifically (see “Extra Credit” below).
The movie is chock-full of quotable lines and memorable moments—which, refreshingly, aren’t all given away in the trailer!
Admittedly, I can get a little squeamish with gross-out stuff and, while the opening title sequence—over How It’s Made type shots of a poultry processing facility—had me squirming deeper into my seat, it was the perfect setup for the movie. It sets the right tone from the first frame.
The basis for the horror, tainted chicken nuggets, is at once silly and frighteningly realistic. The chills, squirms and laughs are a very natural extension of this premise. The comedy is, at times, surprisingly sharp; hitting more often than it misses—and some asides and “throwaway” lines are so clever you may miss the jokes lurking below the surface joke. To the writers’ credit, many of them are “had to be there” laughs. Only when I was trying, in vain, to explain some nugget of hilarity did I discover the sneaky comedy and/or horror lying just underneath. (For example: When the vice-principal gives an offhand description of the silent office secretary as hilarious and then qualifies it with the explanation that she’s experienced a lot of tragedy some time ago. Funny on its own and then also “inside comedy” funny.) On the other side of the spectrum, there are plenty of sight-gags and fart jokes to go around.
My overall impression of the production was that I felt the limitations of the budget but it wasn’t constantly detracting from my enjoyment of the material—a successful B horror comedy. Hand in hand with this, the sense of this being a feature directing debut was also felt, providing some rough edges and unexpected choices, but again, more interesting than negative. I might describe it positively to my friends as “a sillier twist on the love child of The Faculty and Shaun of the Dead; which would sell me on it.
The cast is a really good ensemble but I think the standouts for me were the characters created by Leigh Whannell (Doug) and Nasim Pedrad (Rebekkah) who struggle with basic human interaction from vastly different perspectives. All of the characters aren’t merely misfit teachers, they’re misfit humans by societal standards, which can make them feel all the more relatable. I’m hoping there will be a bigger budget sequel where we can follow these more hardened characters struggling to survive in this hilariously scary new world.
One thing worth mentioning is that I enjoyed the setup of Jorge Garcia’s character and wish that he would’ve been integrated into the story more. I bring this up just to keep you from sitting there going, “When is that guy going to spring into action?!” He won’t—so don’t worry about it. Content yourself with being amused by him as he is.
As I’ve elluded to, I’m not really a fan of splatter-flicks or gross-out movies but I feel that this did a great job of walking up to that line and reaching across just enough to make its point without turning me off. (Oddly, a shot of a kid eating his booger may have gotten the biggest reaction out of me. Guess I haven’t been desensitised to that yet.) I was a little worried about what I’d gotten into with the entire intro title sequence but, by the end of the titles, I was fully engaged and not too grossed out.
I feel that Cooties successfully lived up to the premise it established—and while it may not have hit it totally out of the park, it rounded the bases in satisfying fashion. Grab your best guy or gal and go catch Cooties—just know that in short order you’ll be grabbing them even tighter with squeals and laughs.
EXTRA CREDIT:
Let John Oliver get you ready to go out and see Cooties tonight with this clip from Last Week Tonight:
