Author: tonystark553

The Divide releases this Friday, January 13th and boasts a strong cast made up of the likes of Michael Biehn (The Terminator), Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes), and Courtney B. Vance (Law & Order: Criminal Intent).  Now if you guys know me, you know that I was stoked to go see this not only because it looked cool, but because I’m a big Heroes fan and in turn a big Milo fan.  But let me tell you, he sure ain’t Peter Petrelli anymore.

The movie starts off with Lauren German watching the city explode from a skyscraper window.  Obviously chaos ensues, everyone is running everywhere, cameras are shaking, but eventually we find our central cast of characters all together inside some sort of bunker.  Michael Biehn quickly establishes himself as the boss, because he’s the super of the building (and a total badass) and all of the characters are in fact neighbors.

So we get a ton of trust issues and tension right from the jump.  There is a minimal sense of hope in the beginning but it soon dwindles as time passes and paranoia rises.  After a team of researchers/military troops come down into the bunker armed to the teeth, we get a great action scene of the group fighting back against them, but also realize that there is no escape for any of them.  The troops weld the door shut soon after, and things rapidly go further down hill from there.

There are some twists and turns as the movie progresses, but it’s not very fast-paced. The structure brings to mind other one-room debate stories like 12 Angry Men but sadly falls a little closer to Stallone’s Daylight.  Not to say the film is boring, because it’s actually interesting in parts, but things did seem kinda dull from time to time.  There are strong acting performances all around, luckily.  Milo specifically turns out to be extremely creepy, and the movie does a great job at making this claustrophobic situation totally disturbing.  Even though we see the downward spiral of these characters into savages, we don’t get beat over the head with post-apocalyptic gospel.  The movie gives the audience enough credit to know that people change, and people do what they can to survive.  A lot of them will also do what they want when there’s no consequences.  We don’t need them to spat about morals, or tell us who is better than who. It is conveyed by the filmmaking, and in the performances.

Even though The Divide is downright dark in some instances, at least for me, the film does manage to illicit quite an emotional response from me, which is a good thing.  I’m actually still a bit uncomfortable thinking about it now.  The concept isn’t anything completely fresh, but the acting is solid, and the tension and creepiness take this one a long way.  If you want to be disturbed, or if you’re just in the mood for something crazy, give it a shot. It’s certainly worth a watch.

Yes it’s Tuesday again, gang. So Kyle Kriner is here with your weekly batch of Hollywood gold. Or previews of Hollywood gold is what it actually is. Which kind of means you’re window shopping right now. Just in time for the holidays, right? Man, that was a smooth segway.

Since we’re all on the same page now, enjoy! Until next time, as always!

The Wicker Tree

Well I thought this one started out pretty interesting, but things went downhill quick for me. It just became really wierd. Bizarre, in fact. Maybe when all put together in context, it’s something cool. But right now, I’m not really sure I’m interested.

Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

I gotta admit, this is super cute. And even though it usually annoys me, I thought a lot of the singing was pretty funny. I’m sure most of the movie is full of stupid gags and chipmunk covers of popular songs, but there’s at least some fun to be had here.

The Five-Year Engagement

I can never deny anything involving Judd Apatow and friends. We almost always get solid gold. This one looks to take more of a romcom direction than a “broey” direction, but I’m good with that because we still get tons of good physical comedy and sharp dialogue. The movie looks well written with funny likeable characters, and I’m sure it’ll be a good time.

The Three Stooges

Some movies just don’t need to happen. It’s easy to imitate the look, and even the gags of the original Three Stooges. But I just don’t think it’s possible to get the same humor. Whoever heard of a Three Stooges bit that was longer than twenty minutes or so anyway? This movie scares me.

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

The Madasgascar movies are always funny. I wouldn’t be surprised if we get ten more of them. This one doesn’t look like an exception. Our favorite team of zoo escapees is on a romp through Europe, and of course it’s always great making fun of Europeans. So take the kids to see it, and have fun.

What To Expect When You’re Expecting

This is obviously mostly a chick flick. But at least we do have some guy moments and jokes. Guys being in charge of kids and doing stupid things is nothing new at all, but It looks like there might be some fresh jokes here. If not, I’m sure we’ll get at least some fun inappropriate stuff.

Think Like A Man

Now I honestly can hardly stand Steve Harvey so I hope he doesn’t have too much involved in this film. But I do like Kevin Hart, and there are some other decent actors in there too. The only problem is I don’t really feel like seeing another sequel to “Two Can Play At That Game” which is definitely the direction this is taking. It’s all too much for me.

Jiro Dreams Of Sushi

I feel like films have really been scraping the bottom of the barrell for topics. I mean, a full length movie about a sushi chef doesn’t sound too appealing at first. But something about it does have a fun quirky vibe, and I think I’d be willing to give it a chance. Might be an interesting story.

Men In Black 3

I know everyone’s been looking forward to this one for quite some time. And I like where they’re going with it. A bit of the typical alien fun, but mostly it looks like Will is getting lost in some kind of alternate reality, then time travelling to fix it. It’s a fun situation for the MIB and I love Josh Brolin as young K. I’m on board.

Watching TV With The Red Chinese

Hmm, this is actually really interesting. I can’t imagine the culture shock coming from 1980 China to New York. This definitely gives us an idea. It’s not just that, but the relationship these Chinese guys make with their new American friends is engaging. At the end of the day, I guess we’re all humans.

G.I.Joe: Retaliation

Editor: A new trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation got added right at the Trash Heap deadline. It features a bit of a reboot from the disastrous G.I. Joe movie from two years ago. There’s some Channing Tatum and Snake Eyes but a TON more of Dwayne Johnson as Roadblock. I’m excited about this brand new take and the image of the White House in the trailer is awesome. Plus… we get to see the ORIGINAL G.I. Joe at the end. Anyone else feeling this trailer?

Kyle Kriner here, gang! I know you missed me last week, but thanks to Thanksgiving (haha) I think Hollywood decided you guys didn’t need any movie trailers. I totally disagreed but they didn’t listen to me. Surprise, surprise. Anyway, I’m back now, and that’s all that counts. Got some fun trailers for you guys as always, and of course there’s some lame ones sprinkled amongst them. So is life, right? Until next week, geeks and geekettes!

The Lucky One

They can say all they want about how different and amazing this one is, but I’m not seeing anything too different than The Notebook or Dear John. Maybe I’m being too harsh here, but am I really wrong? If this is your thing, you already know it. If I could get a date at some point, maybe I’ll take her to this. Otherwise, I’d really rather avoid it.

Loosies

Wow, this is a really cool concept. I mean, I’ve honestly never really thought about all the cool things you could do if you were the world’s best pickpocket. There looks to be some funny dialogue, and there’s definitely some cool situations, and a even a bit of action. Not to mention we get a bit of Michael Madsen badassness as icing on the cake.

My Piece Of The Pie

Hmm, so I was kind of with it while it was a quirky romcom, but it sort of took a dark turn towards the end, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it now. I suppose it could still be entertaining, I won’t count it out.

Khodorkovsky

This guy is pretty creepy, man. And I also like the whole creepy scary vibe they’re giving off in the trailer. They string together some cool shots and make this one look sort of epic. I’m sure it’s not quite as cool as it looks here, but I’m willing to give it a shot.

Lads & Jockeys

Okay, I am being shown no mercy this week. I am being barraged with French films. This one, I have no interest in. Am I really supposed to care about of bunch of kids at equestrian camp? There’s only so much a man can take. I’ve reached my limit.

Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

Um, maybe you guys should just watch this for yourself…wow.

Declaration Of War

I don’t know what’s going on here (what else is new?) but I will say that’s the only thing keeping me a bit curious on this one. Is the baby possessed my the devil? Maybe. Or maybe I’m way off, but that’s the fun of watching these trailers isn’t it? Don’t judge me.

Albatross

Well, this situation looks wildly inappropriate, but it’s honestly the only reason I have any interest in this one. I just kind of want to see how awkward it gets once the dad gets it on with the 17-yeard old chick. Say what you want, but I know you’re thinking the same thing.

New Year’s Eve

Okay, so the whole thing reeks of Valentine’s Day. Everything from the cast to the plot. But no worries, because I really enjoyed Valentine’s Day. It’s gonna be fun seeing all these stars in one place, and I think the movie will be a good time, and at least make us feel good.

The Cabin In The Woods

C’mon, did any of you think a movie with this title could be bad?? It looks totally freaky, with a whole lot of disturbing sci-fi scenes. Not just your typical axe murderer plot, so I’m excited to see where they go with this whole thing. Not to mention we already know Chris Hemsworth is great in the hero role, so this should be a fun ride. Can’t wait.

Tuesday, Tuesday, so good to me…Or something, I don’t know. But I do know this is the Trailer Trash Heap!!! And that means I have to be…drum roll please…Kyle Kriner! I’m here as always to scratch your movie trailer itch with a healthy dose of movie trailers (duh). Anyway, have at it. Till next time, geeks!

Mirror Mirror

Let me start off by saying that I think it’s totally lame that all these “reimaginings” of fairy tale stories are happening at once. That said, this one is certainly more light-hearted than its Kristen Stewart counterpart. Nathan Lane and Julia Roberts both seem to have some funny dialogue to work with, but I still can’t get over the whole fairy tale theme.

Another Happy Day

Well, for me this title is completely inappropriate because it wouldn’t be a happy day if I had to see this in the movies. Ok, that was lame but I couldn’t resist. The trailer is a complete bore, trying to be dramatic but I don’t really know what to think. Is it a wierd indie movie, or is it a dramatic movie?? Either way, I was bored to tears.

Don’t Go In The Woods

Vincent D’onofrio annoys me in Law & Order, but by the looks of this trailer, he may have thrown together a fun little horror flick. It just looks like good, clean, adolescent ax-murdering at it’s finest.

Once Upon A Time In Anatolia

Now, typically, foreign films have to be kind of extra special for me to care much. But this one hooked me right from the start. It kinda has this eerie No Country For Old Men feel to it, and it makes me want to keep watching it. It has some quirky moments, but it looks pretty grim as well. I’m looking forward to seeing where they go with it.

The Heir Apparent: Largo Winch

From the title of this one, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. We get what looks like a cool kickass action flick with plenty of explosions, fight scenes, and broken necks (I don’t know, maybe).

W.E.

You know, maybe I’m just not sophisticated enough to be doing this column, because all I can say here is how bored I am yet again. This is Madonna trying her hand at film making. More power to her, but the trailer is terribly boring. Another weird, dark, romantic one that is probably only meant for women to see anyway. You guys are on your own here.

Rampart

Wow. This one looks awesome, I couldn’t turn away. Woody Harrelson always pleases, and I love him in this dirty cop role. Along with him is a quite a strong of characters such as Robin Wright and Steve Buscemi. This one looks teriffic, it’s a must see for me.

Kyle Kriner here, geeks!! And, of course, this is the all-mighty Trailer Trash Heap!!

I’ve got a pretty healthy dosage for you guys this week. Some solid trailers, plenty that I’m completely stoked for. I’m sure you guys will share my excitement. If not, then cut me a break, and come back next week and see if I excite you… with the trailers of course. Any other way would just be wierd…

Well, anywho, enjoy, folks!!

American Reunion

Okay, so that photo booth thing from before was pretty cool, but now we get the actual trailer and I’m even more stoked than ever. It seems like everyone has facial hair now, except for Stifler who doesn’t really look any older than he did in the last movie. The idea of everyone getting together in East Great Falls again puts chills down my spine and I can’t wait to see what happens. Now cue the Stifler’s mom music…

Project X

Wow, so now the guys who made The Hangover are gonna make what I’ve dubbed as a “camcorder” flick. This trend will not die again until every genre has exhausted it I guess. This movie looks extremely crazy. Starts off as a big adolescent party, and somehow gets the SWAT team involved. I couldn’t really tell if the movie is very funny, I got more of a dark humor vibe from it, but I guess we’ll see.

Safehouse

Looks like Denzel is treading the line between villain and good guy now. And I’m loving every second of it. He looks sick in this one. And we know Ryan Reynolds plays the young underdog hero pretty well, so this match is as good as Denzel and Chris Pine I suppose. I love how Ryan Reynolds wakes up with hot half naked chicks in every movie he makes. Can we make this guy a little more down to earth?? Either way, the movie looks awesome. It’s full of guns and explosions, everything a growing boy needs.

Wanderlust

Paul Rudd is the man. And with Ken Marino writing this one, I’m totally along for the ride. Role Models is one of my favorites and I expect almost the same greatness here. Plenty of awkward humor, and the concept of this couple running away to find some kind of new life is really fun. I didn’t expect to be so excited for this one, but count me in.

21 Jump Street

So Channing Tatum clearly can’t pull of high school roles anymore, and I’m glad to see that the characters in this movie aren’t just going to overlook the fact that he’s trying to blend in as a student. That breathes some fresh air into this concept for me. It looks like him and Jonah have some pretty funny chemistry and Jonah can still just about pull off the highschool thing. The action is what I’m really dying to get a glimpse of. We know Channing thinks he’s a tough guy now, but Jonah Hill with a gun? Can’t wait…

House Of Pleasure

Wow…just wow. I don’t think I’ve ever been so bored by a trailer before. I also never thought that whorehouse could possibly bore me this much. You guys are completely on your own here.

Outrage

This is just one of those films I cannot take seriously. The voiceover work is completely overdone, the special effects are terrible, and the acting seems completely wooden. The fact that we’re supposed to take this whole Yakuza plot seriously, and think these guys are menacing, just kind of cracks me up.

J. Edgar

Well, let me start off by saying that I trust Clint Eastwood and I would follow him into the bowels of Hell if he wanted me to. But that doesn’t change the fact that this film wants me to watch Leonardo DiCaprio play the role of a president (editor’s note: J. Edgar was never a U.S. President… so let’s go with “politico”) for what is probably two and half hours or something. Leo still doesn’t look old enough to be up for this one, and to be honest, I have no desire in seeing him in a biopic anyway. I’ll let him slide with Inception, but this is pushing my tolerance for him.

Kyle Kriner here, gang! And you know if it’s Kyle Kriner, it’s gotta be Tuesday. Which means, by default, this is……The Trailer Trash Heap!!!

Took the week off last Tuesday (Hollywood did, not me) but now here we are with a nice healthy, heapin’ pile of movie trailers for you guys. Can you guess which one is my favorite?

Until next week (hopefully), Geekscapists, Assemble!!

Answers To Nothing

So I think this is supposed to be some kind of mystery but the trailer is just so confusing. Dane Cook is borderline crying everytime we see him, and the whole thing just comes off more as a soapy betrayal film than anything. The trailer isn’t very interesting, and all I can say is I hope there’s more emphasis on whatever the mystery is in the actual film.

My Week With Marilyn

Since I thought this was going to be a documentary I was actually kind of pleasantly surprised to see that it was a biopic. Not really the kind of movie I would typically watch, but it doesn’t look bad. Michelle Williams looks like she’s having fun playing Marilyn Monroe, and she certainly looks the part. She was certainly a role model for all young women. Right?

Young Adult

I think Charlize Theron is literally getting hotter. Not fair. Anyway, it’s fun to see her in this kind of role. She’s a normal person with a ton of flaws. Coming back to the old neighborhood just to steal a womans husband back from her. So spitefully fun. The humor looks great, nice and dry with a touch of awkwardess. I also really like Patrick Wilson, not to mention we get some Patton Oswalt in there. I think this will be a treat.

The Raven

Wow, I’m totally into this one already. Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe, eh I’m not sold yet. But I’m a big Cusack fan and willing to overlook it. As far as the rest of it, it’s pretty cool. We get the darkness and mystery of Sleepy Hollow with the suspense of Saw. I think the whole product looks like a fun time, and it’s something we should keep an eye out for.

The Mortician 3D

Starting off I thought this looked decent, but once things got rolling I kind of changed my mind. Not that Method Man is a bad actor, but he’s clearly overdoing it here. The accent is really cheesy, and the beard he’s sporting is just ridiculous. The whole movie looks a bit over the top. It’s a shame because I think the premise of this mortician coming across his mother’s body is pretty cool. It just looks poorly executed.

Angels Crest

Okay so I kind of don’t know what to think here. It looked to start off as a cool creepy mystery. I thought we were gonna get to see Thomas Dekker searching for a kid out in the wilderness or something. But all that we really get is kind of a sappy thing about him getting in trouble for the kid going missing. Maybe it’s handled better in the film, but the trailer bored me.

The Divide

This one looks awesome. Post-apocolyptic flicks are getting a bit tired, but this one certainly seems to bring a breath of fresh air to the genre. There’s tons of violence, and I’m excited to see Milo Ventimiglia (Peter from Heroes. Laugh it up, Jonathan and Gilmore) in a cool film like this. Can’t wait for this one.

The Avengers

Well I gotta start out by saying I’m just as psyched for this one as the next geek. I love the cast, and I love what Marvel’s doing. But this trailer just seems to be missing something. Almost like we’re getting the first draft of it, without all the cool finishing touches. Still, it’s epic to see them all in costume together, and I could just be overestimating the movie because it’s The Avengers. I want to reserve judgment until more trailers come out. I’m going to see it regardless anyway. Who wouldn’t??

Elevate

This is a documentary I would probably check out. It doesn’t give us too much sappiness, but it still shows us that these kids have a ton of heart. It also looks pretty funny, mostly because this 6’5″ African guy is towering over all of his white teammates. I’m sure there’s plenty more jokes about that in the film.

Act Of Valor

I don’t think I have to mention at this poin that I’m not a big fan of military movies. That being said, this movie does seem to have some redeeming qualities. The part where they all descend underwater at the same time is super badass. Then they rise back and up and give their enemies clean headshots. If there’s enough cool scenes like that, I may go so far as to say I would like this movie.

Albert Nobbs

So I guess this would be cool if I was interested in seeing an Irish period piece version of Boys Don’t Cry. That may be a bit harsh. The movie doesn’t look bad, and Glenn Close certainly pulls off being a man. I just hope the rest of the movie is good enough to stand on its own.

This Means War

Man, I love Chris Pine. Tom Hardy is pretty cool too. It’s a really interesting combo and I’m looking forward to seeing their chemistry. There doesn’t seem to be any shortage on action or comedy in this one. Two CIA spies are dating the same woman, leading to a ton of crazy situations. I really do hope there’s some kind of underlying plot though, not just them fighting over her the whole film.

Rosewood Lane

This one had me hooked right from the start. I love the tone it sets up, it’s just so eerie and creepy. Not to mention it’s directed by the guy who did the Jeepers Creepers movies. Those are to this day two of my favorite horror flicks. This movie looks truly scary, interesting, and just a great time. Looking forward to it.

The Reunion

Well of course there had to be a bit of action in this one since John Cena is involved. The movie doesn’t look bad, but at the same time isn’t really going to raise any eyebrows. The story about these siblings starting a business together could lead to some good situations, but I doubt if this movie will capitalize. But hey, you never know, I was pleasantly surprised by Triple H’s films.

Happy Tuesday, folks! Kyle Kriner here as always with a hefty dose of movie trailers!

Well, the dose isn’t TOO hefty this week, but there’s some pretty cool stuff in there as always. It’s definitely an interesting bit of trailers we have to enjoy. A little artsy fartsy, sure, maybe kind of avante garde. But hey, we all gotta broaden our horizons, right?

So kick up your feet, and enjoy, ladies and gentlemen!

Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey

Nice, I get to start off nice and lazy this week. Matt Kelly did some top-notch work on this one already. Thanks, bud! It really does look like a good time.

The Swell Season

I’m looking forward to this one because I loved the music from their previous film Once. Getting some behind the scenes footage would be cool, and I’m sure there’s an interesting story there. Plus, the more music we get from these two, the better for us. Am I right?

Chico & Rita

I couldn’t take my eyes off this one. The animation alone is beautiful, and for some reason, the jazzy musical selections go perfectly with it. The whole thing seems to gel, and even though plot-wise it may be another cliche romantic film, I think it will be a ton of fun to watch. I don’t know much Spanish but I think I can turn on the subtitles and relax with this one.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock. I mean, can you even think of two more likeable, talented actors? That usually would be enough to seal the deal for me, but we also have a pretty talented supporting cast to go with them. The movie itself reminds me quite a bit of August Rush but that certainly isn’t a bad thing. The music from the trailer is great, and I can’t entirely figure out what the plot is about, but it’s fine. It looks like one of those movies that actually WILL be inspiring. (Editor’s Note: How about Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts? Congrats. You just got Larry Crowne.)

Contraband

Okay, so Mark Wahlberg doesn’t typically impress me, but I know that when you see his name on a film, it’s probably a big deal. So when I saw this trailer I was rather underwhelmed. The trailer didn’t do much for me as far as action, and plot-wise it didn’t seem like anything too different from The Italian Job or something. Just another crime, heist, conspiracy film. Even if Wahlberg’s performances aren’t that great, his films sometimes can be pretty cool, but this one just doesn’t excite me. Eh, we’ll see.

My Joy

Wow, this is a creepy movie. Imagine being trapped in a small Russian town with no access to the outside world. The trailer definitely has a black comedy sort of feel to it, along with a sense of hopelessness for this poor guy. I actually think it seems pretty cool. Sick and twisted, but cool.

I Melt With You

Man, we’ve got an awesome cast of characters here. I can’t wait to see the chemistry between them. The plot seems cool too, I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of secrets these guys have buried over the years, and which ones will come back to haunt them. It’s gonna be great seeing these guys take on these kinds of roles.

RA.One

Well, movies don’t really get more badass than this. The action is definitely there, and of course the special effects are too. No time for story in this trailer, just plenty of bullets and explosions. The only problem for me is trying to take it seriously once that laughable Bollywood music starts playing. Makes me question the whole film. Ugh, I hope it’s still a cool flick.

The Other F Word

Okay, I get how it could be funny seeing all these punk rock stars become fathers and the irony in caring about someone other than themselves. But why is Tony Hawk there?? I mean, he’s cool and all that, but a punk rocker he is not. Anyway, most of these guys probably have no business raising kids, but maybe that will make it all the more entertaining to watch.

The Catechism Cataclysm

What could be funnier than corrupting a holy man? This movie looks like it has quite a bit of fun with that concept. It’s also kind of funny that it doesn’t look too hard to corrupt this particular holy man. The movie has a ton of dry humor, and a lot of the humor will have to come out of sheer awkwardness, but I think that’s a good thing for this film.

Hey, there, Geekscapists! Don’t the weeks just seem to fly by? I’m more than happy to deliver you guys the Trailer Trash Heap! I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t start off to excited this week, but once it gets rolling, there’s some fun to be had. Assuming you guys stick around that long. Here’s hopin’ you do…

Farewell until next Tuesday, movie goers!

The Lie

Some indie films really come off very funny right away. Some put me right to sleep. It’s weird because I’m extremely lukewarm with this one. Some of the situations are clever, and the entire plot of a man lying about his daughter’s death just to escape some responsibilites could make for a pretty awkward and funny film. But it doesn’t seem to be taking it in that direction. Which is what worries me. Eh, maybe you guys can let me know how it goes.

1911

So I’m not a big fan of period pieces or war films, so you could imagine why this one doesn’t really do it for me. Of course that doesn’t mean it will be a bad film, I just get disappointed when I don’t get to see Jackie bouncing, flipping, and taking names.

The Grey

Hm, well I like the suspense and everything we have going here. I mean, being trapped with a pack of wolves in the wilderness gives us a good feeling of impending doom for sure. But Liam Neeson has become a bit of a white Morgan Freeman to me. Just stuff him into whatever film we can to generate box office. His last couple appearances, in my opionion, have been boring and a bit random. Anywho, if we can past the brooding, lonely, Neeson as the lead in this one, maybe it will be enjoyable. Not saying he’s bad, just overused.

Le Havre

So I don’t usually like French films, as you guys probably know, but wait let me finish…This one looks pretty interesting. Maybe I’m just hoping we get some Finding Forrester kind of relationship between the black kid and the old guy, but I think that’s justified. The situation is interesting, and if the chemistry is there, the film may really be good.

The Deep Blue Sea

Dammit, I was hoping this was a remake of the shark movie Deep Blue Sea (and I’m sure Saint Mort was hoping that as well) but no such luck. Maybe I’m just not smart enough, but I can’t really tell what’s going on. Endless love mixed in with some sort of betrayal, Rachel Weisz screaming and crying. None of these things could keep me awake seperately, but together they could put an elephant down. You guys are on your own here.

Justice

Nicolas Cage gets caught up in a huge conspiracy with some kind of company devoted to dispensing their own brand of justice throughout the city. Man even I am amazed by my way with words sometimes. But anyway, the plot doesn’t do a whole lot for me, but the action looks pretty cool, and Guy Pearce looks like a total badass. I had to look twice to recognize him. The movie looks like good blockbuster fun, I’m down.

Big Miracle

Okay, so I know it’s kind of a big cheese-fest with this town banding together to save these whales. But sometimes you need that right? Besides, it looks like the rest of the movie has enough personality to be funny and quirky in between our Free Willy-esque moments. John Krasinksi is the coolest boy next door actor out there, so him being there to guide me through doesn’t hurt things a bit either.

Man On A Ledge

I don’t really see how we can go wrong here. I mean, Sam Worthington is out to prove he can actually act, and he’s not doing too bad a job. And here we get some great Phoneboot/John Q type of action going on, not to mention a ton of talented faces amongst the ensemble. Remnants of summer are clearly still among us.

Oranges And Sunshine

I was actually disappointed to see so little of Hugo Weaving in the trailer. He makes things a bit interesting. Either way, I don’t think it’s the type of movie I would get into. It’s supposed to be inspirational but kind of just bores me. I think there’s just an overload of slow-paced movies this week, and my brain is numb. Sorry, guys.

Joyful Noise

This one looks like a good time. Mixing some gospel music together with contemporary music. Like Glee meets Sister Act. Keke Palmer is getting quite attractive, and if you pay attention, you’ll see my boy Dexter Darden sitting next to Queen Latifah at the beginning of the trailer. You’ll see plenty more of him in the movie, and I’m definitely going to be checking it out.

One For The Money

This movie has so much Bounty Hunter in it that it’s hard to ignore. But there looks to be a good amount of action, and I’m loving the North Jersey setting. I’m sure J-London is cracking up right now while reading this. But I’m liking Katherine Heigl with the New Jersey accent. This one looks like a keeper.

John Dies At The End

Paul Giamatti, blood, monsters, zombies, mind control (I think). Wow, the trailer is nuts but if this can really come together as something coherent I’m sure we’re in for a treat.

OKA!

Well, I don’t really understand what the guy does with that boom mic and headphones, but maybe you guys can figure it out. It’s another “inspirational true story” that isn’t really that inspirational to me. I think Hollywood is scraping the bottom of the barrell for the inspirational true stories. Sorry, OKA, that my mini rant had to be above your video. Nothing personal.

Man, is it Tuesday already?? Hells yeah! And that can only mean one thing…It’s the Trailer Trash Heap!

Kyle Kriner here, and I’ve got plenty of trailers for you guys to get excited about as always. Especially for the tweens and documentary lovers. But not exclusively for them. There’s something for everyone, like I always say (especially when I’m trying to convince you not to leave the page). But anyway, enjoy as always, folks!

The Mill and The Cross

Maybe I’m just sick, but does anyone else get a weird black comedy kind of vibe from this? Okay, maybe I am sick, but maybe it’s because my mind was somehow trying to entertain itself through this otherwise boring trailer. Pilgrims painting pilgrims, man what a stunningly boring concept. The whole film seems to be shot on the same 100 yard valley, and other than some brutal lashings, seemingly has little to offer.

Snowmen

I’m sorry, but for some reason I couldn’t help but notice Doug E. Doug was in this movie… Really?? I really didn’t think he still existed. Anyhow, as far as kids movies go, this one seemed like standard fare. I have to say my interests were raised with the montage at the end though. Something about epic music over emotional scenes that always gets me.

Red Lights

Wait for it, wait for it… Slowly pan closer and closer…. BAM! Robert De Niro with glazed over eyes! Hm, teaser seems like an understatement sometimes doesn’t it?

Outrage

See now this is a cool documentary. Exploiting closeted gay politicians. Man, I could watch that all day. I doubt they’re going to un-blur any of the pictures, but maybe we’ll get some good hints as to who they are.

Chalet Girl

Eh, British teen romcom. Boy meets girl at a ski resort or something, and when the season ends they are expected to part ways. Basically Grease without the cool jackets. I don’t think this one is particularly worth checking out.

The Son Of No One

Well, Al Pacino’s last couple of crime thrillers certainly fell a bit flat, so I’m hoping he can get back to form. This movie actually comes with all the trappings I enjoy with a crime/cop thriller. Ray Liotta is always perfect in these roles, and I like Katie Holmes here too believe it or not. Then there’s the issue of Channing Tatum with a mustache…I don’t know how to take that. Is he a young cop with a mustache or are they trying to imply he’s kind of seasoned? Either way, I don’t dig it. And Tracy Morgan is attempting to be serious? That’s as bad as…well, Channing Tatum with a mustache. Let’s hope the film is good enough to ignore those details.

We Bought A Zoo

Okay, so I just have to say I find this premise highly implausible (even if it’s based on a true story). Matt Damon goes house hunting and winds up buying a zoo? Once I get past that, the movie actually seems pretty enjoyable. We know Matt Damon can pull off the role, and some of the dialogue seems really good. And with Scarlett Johansson fresh off her nude cell phone pic stint, this movie is promising.

Finding Joe

Man, this is a good week for documentaries. This is just epic. The hero’s journey. How can you not love this stuff? I’m sure there’s some history lessons in here as well, but it doesn’t matter. That guy Joe was a genius.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Well Bill Nighy certainly is busy right now. The movie is definitely more on the romantic side, but has some funny moments and good dialogue. I would expect nothing less from the director of Shakespeare in Love. So maybe it’s a movie mostly for older viewers, but that doesn’t mean it can’t have redeeming qualities.

Premium Rush

First of all, do people really ride around with no brakes on their bikes? Sounds highly dangerous. Ok, moving right along. I really like the concept here. Who would have thought you could make an action movie about bike riders. No not motorcycles, bikes. The action is definitely there, the fun conspiracy plot seems cool, and Dania Ramirez is too hot for words. I’m also amazed that Joseph Gordon-Levitt still looks like a college freshman. You can start aging any day now, pal. I’m definitely excited for this one.

Knuckle

I don’t know about you guys, but YouTube fighting videos kind of lost their shock value years ago, so I don’t know if a whole movie based around taped streetfights is too engrossing. But I guess the story that comes with it may bring some more value to the film. I’ll wait and see.

So here we have a book that would like you to think it’s this quirky gum shoe detective story with some nutty plot twists and crazy characters. Meh.

Our main protagonist, who we see very little of, is a Jonah Hill lookalike who lives in the shadow of his father, one of the best cops the LAPD has ever known.  While he struggles as a private dick (haha, that never gets old) he basically worships the ground his father walks on.  He’s likeable enough because he’s a nice kid and seems to be pretty clever as well.  Jonah Hill actually would be perfect for this role, should it ever become a film.

It’s just a shame that the only thing our “hero” does in Volume 1 is narrate what is happening the entire time.  He’s pretty much living vicariously through his father as he walks us through what’s going on in this case.  There’s psychotic, homicidal, Russian drug lords, hot chicks in bikinis, and tons of blood.  The plot is nothing too heavy yet.  Basically we’re getting the set-up of who’s double crossing who and why.  Most of it centers around a vicious Russian boss who everyone in the story is basically connected through.  Kind of like a Kevin Bacon type of thing.  Anyway, not everyone is exactly honky dory with this guy, and I won’t give it away, but someone mighty close to him has some kind of plan of removing him from the equation.  We meet other characters, but in general, that’s what we get plot wise so far.

There’s definitely good pacing going on, and the story is certainly building to something.  But with these first four books, we definitely don’t see the bigger picture yet.  I don’t think it will be anything too surprising, but I am actually interested to see how our star will fit in to this Hollywood murder/betrayal plot.  Will he prove to his father he can be a real cop?  Will he get himself killed?  Who knows at this point.

I’m not a huge fan of this type of art, but I won’t complain simply because at least I can tell what’s going on.  It’s also kind of funny when it comes to some of the torturing scenes, the jagged lines and crazy colors really animate the gore and pain in a weird way.

I won’t say Blue Estate is awesome, or even anything entirely fresh.  But it isn’t bad at all. It’s an easy read, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

It’s funny, it has decent plot twists, and I am interested to see where Volume 2 takes us, and how these interwoven characters will end up affecting each other.  I’m thinking most of them will blow each other to bits but it’s purely speculation.  We have a half decent set-up and I think it will be a good time, regardless.

Got a case of the Tuesdays? Nah, probably not, but just in case you happen to, here is your cure…The Trailer Trash Heap!

It’s yours truly Kyle Kriner running down the best and worst trailers of the week. It wouldn’t be fair to only show the good ones would it? Not to worry, I’m here to make sure you’re entertained no matter what. Whether you like it or not. Enjoy, folks!

American Reunion

So maybe this isn’t exactly a trailer, but it’s still pretty cool and I’m stoked about it. Especially since for some reason it didn’t make the cut last week. You’d think a trilogy was enough for a coming of age tale like American Pie, and all the ridiculous spin-offs that followed it made it seem pretty much finished. But it looks like we’re getting back the whole original gang. Some of them don’t look so hot these days…cough, Tara Reid, cough….and I’m hoping that this is actually an honest attempt at making another magical film like the ones we fell in love with, and not just a way to cash in on yet another sequel.

The Big Year

Well, right away I’m excited to see what kind of chemistry Owen and Jack have with Steve Martin. These three are going off on some kind of City Slickers type of adventure and I don’t really think we can go wrong here. It doesn’t look laugh out loud funny, but it does look like a good time. It sounds wrong, but I’m hoping for some more vulgarities to pop up in the actual film. Sorry, Jack Black falling down rocks is funny, but so is cursing.

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

Okay, guys I gotta be honest. I almost didn’t post this one. I couldn’t understand a word anyone said, even when they spoke English. The movie mashes up so much stuff into the trailer. Of course we get our typical Bollywood dance numbers and over the top acting. I can never take these films seriously, but this one really annoyed me just watching the trailer.

The Human Centipede 2

God, worst trailer ever! I was actually grossed out by the first film. It certainly wasn’t very scary, and that doctor guy wasn’t gonna be the next Jigsaw or anything, but I was still curious for this trailer. But we get nothing out of it. I don’t know where they’re going with this, but I don’t think I care at this point.

The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby

So on one hand, this feels like someone is forcing me to watch C-SPAN, but on the other hand, we have what is a pretty cool tale. A guy makes a documentary searching for the truth about his CIA father. Some stories truly are crazier than fiction. Hopefully the actual film will be more than suits talking on microphones.

The Raid

This movie wants to be badass so bad… And it totally blew my mind! There are bullets flying everywhere, tons of stunts, awesome fights, and it’s all put together very well. If the movie’s half as good as the trailer, we’re in for a good time.

Hell And Back Again

Well, since the last time I featured a trailer for a military documentary, nothing has changed. I think it’s overdone, and to be honest, I don’t need to keep seeing the same story over and over again. The fact that it keeps getting shoved down our throats is annoying, and insulting because they assume we still don’t get it.

The Greening Of Whitney Brown

I guess there are worse tween movies to go see. Rich girls family goes broke and she’s forced to go live a simple life. I literally saw a Hey Arnold episode just like that. Anyway, it doesn’t look all bad. Some cute moments, a little Kristofferson, and a horse pissing off Keith David. Take your kids and enjoy.

The Goon

So what I thought was about to be a funny animated film based on the Eric Powell comic, wound up being a sick, hilarious, inappropriate zombie apocalypse animated film. This trailer is super funny, and the concept here is totally fresh. I’m actually pretty excited to see this one.

Yo, Geekscapists! Kyle Kriner here, as always, and that must mean that it’s Tuesday! And that makes this the Trailer Trash Heap! So Hollywood took a week off, I suppose, possibly still mourning the end of summer, because we don’t have much going on this week. Still, there are some truly quality films here.

So don’t be down, because I think you guys will enjoy them. If not, all complaints can be forwarded to my editor in chief. Later, geeks!

The Double

So I’m going to start by saying that this trailer looks pretty cool. The concept is great, and it looks like Richard Gere may still have a bit of life left in him. I actually dug his performance in Brooklyn’s Finest. But anyway, I’m a bit more worried that this is going to be Hollywood once again miscasting Topher Grace. I mean, I don’t wanna beat a dead horse here, but he was a pretty lousy Eddie Brock. I think he’s better off as the quirky romcom underdog than the blockbuster action hero. But maybe this is where he proves me wrong and comes into his own. We’ll see.

A Monster In Paris

So we have a French animated movie, which really gives me the same vibe as Ratatouille did, which is not a bad thing. The French atmosphere they’ve set up is cool, and even though I can’t understand a word of it, the characters seem funny and witty. Maybe soon we’ll get some subtitles on this thing.

Janie Jones

This one looks pretty interesting. I really like the music, as well as the father daughter duet they get going. There was always something I liked about Alessandro Nivola and this kind of movie is great for him to show some more of his range. The writing looks good, and the characters are genuine. This looks like quite a good one.

Margaret

At first I liked what was going on, I thought maybe the ghost of this lady was gonna kind of haunt Anna Paquin. Not the case at all, but the concept is still pretty interesting. I mean, doing the right thing can be tough, but this is really bad. Personally, after that douchey bus driver purposely didn’t let me on, I wouldn’t have cared whether he fried for it or not. Guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all plays out.

3

Well, for any of you German-speaking Geekscapists, feel free to hit up that comment box and let me know what the hell is going on. This one is from Tom Tykwer, who did Run Lola Run, so I’m guessing it’ll at least be worth seeing.

Hello again, Geekscapists! After stuffing my face with chicken-kabobs and pitas with hummus at Sunday’s “Geekscape Summit”, I actually feel more like a “Greek”-scapist….get it? Anybody? Anybody? Ok, so I’m not a comedian, but that joke was still better than half the jokes I’ve heard on the Geekscape podcast. Either way, it’s Tuesday, I’m Kyle Kriner, you’re here, and this is the Trailer Trash Heap!

Still not much action being cranked out so maybe the end of summer has finally happened. May we have a moment of silence for the Hollywood dumping period? The Help is going to go unchallenged for months! As depressing as that thought is, on with the trailers and the promise of the future! Enjoy, you guys!

The Lady

Well this is certainly nothing more than a teaser. A very epic teaser at that. Cool score, awesome camera work. Maybe I should know what this is about, but I don’t. Feel free to share in the comments if you do.

Blackthorn

So we get a movie trying to squeeze out another adventure from Butch Cassidy. But it actually looks pretty entertaining as far as westerns go. The concept is cool, the settings are beautiful, and it looks like we may even get some cool gun slingin’.

Weekend

Eh, indie flick about two gay lovers and it won a bunch of film festival awards. Some parts look interesting to me, but I feel like the movie is mostly gonna be a snoozer, and I’m supposed to be impressed by how often these guys kiss each other and how comfortable they are being gay. It’s 2011. I’m comfortable. The fact that this trailer thinks that I’d still be effected by seeing that in 2011 is incredible “heterophobic”. Yeah. I coined it. Now can we get some story?

Happy, Happy

Hm, well this one looks kind of funny. Two French couples become neighbors and one husband starts sleeping with the other’s wife. Even though that sounds horrific, the movie looks more like a rom com, and you get the feeling that the whole infidelity situation is for the better.

The Weird World Of Blowfly

This is definitely an interesting story. I think the tragedy alone is enough to tell this story, and the fact that Clarence has a mouth like a sailor should only make the film more entertaining. Cursing is funny, what can I say?

And They’re Off

A mockumentary about horse racing. I like the concept immediately. I like Sean Astin as the down and out horse racer, and seeing Martin Mull play his father should be a good time. The trailer cracked me up a bit, but I’m hoping the movie as a whole will deliver even more.

Inside Out

I would have laughed (a lot) before if you said Triple H was going to star in a film, but after I saw his movie The Chaperone, I was actually a bit pleasantly surprised. He wasn’t the unlikeable, overacting D bag that we grew up watching on WWE. He actually has a decent presence on film, and this movie’s plot is very similar to Chaperone, only it has a much darker tone. This one may be a good one.

Tyrannosaur

God, it’s hard to understand those accents. Anyway, this movie won a whole bunch of Sundance awards of course, it seems like every movie has nowadays. The trailer seems kind of boring, but I want to believe the movie has more to it. Maybe like a Mystic River kind of vibe to it. It would be nice if it were to be that good.

Where Soldiers Come From

Well, a documentary about youths going to fight in the middle east isn’t exactly fresh material. And honestly, I don’t find it all that interesting either. We’ve seen enough of this sort of thing over the years, and unfortunately everyone is so desensitized now, that it’s impact isn’t as deep. But hey, I can always be proved wrong.

The Rum Diary

It’s nice to see Johnny Depp in a movie that doesn’t completely weird me out. The movie certainly has its quirks, I cracked up a couple of times. The whole Puerto Rican backdrop is interesting, they just don’t seem to interact with any Puerto Ricans. Never the less, Amber Heard is plenty hot, and the movie looks like a good time. How does it relate to Depp’s past Fear and Loathing depiction of Hunter S. Thompson? We’ll have to wait and see.

Fireflies In The Garden

I’ve seen some of Ryan Reynold’s more offbeat movies, and he’s usually solid. This should be no exception. I like Willem Dafoe in this evil father role, cause we all know he can do that. Hayden Panettiere is even in the movie somewhere, so I’m totally obligated to support my woman. I think this movie will be a treat.

Here we are again, Geekscapists! It’s Tuesday, I’m Kyle Kriner, and this is your weekly heap of movie trailers. Welcome to the Trailer Trash Heap. It looks like summer still has a little life in it, with some big films still popping up. Got quite a few suspensful films, and I would have liked to see more comedies this week but hey, I can’t force them to make funny ones (at least not to my knowledge).

So let me know, what from this week’s batch looks good to you?

Hysteria

Six friends get together after 10 years, start partying, then freaky stuff starts happening. The trailer gives us little in the way of suspense, even though they try to keep us guessing with a black screen everytime something might be going on. Maybe it’s just me but the trailer just doesn’t do much, and the movie doesn’t seem to offer much.

Trespass

Well, aside from the abominations that were Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, Joel Schumacher usually impresses me. The set up here is pretty basic, and we have seen all of these elements a million times before in different hostage movies. I just think that good ol’ Joel will at least give us something fun to watch, even if it’s not the first time we’ve seen it done.

Limelight

Now even though I’ve never seen it, I’ve heard nothing but good things about Cocaine Cowboys. So with the same writers on this one, I think this project is in good hands. The film documents a life that many of us have never seen, let alone knew existed. And for those who were around for it, this movie will be a must see.

The Woman In Black

Ok, so we get Harry Potter with a five o’clock shadow, most likey bumbling naively around waiting for something to happen. This trailer is nothing but a small teaser, and the play that it is based on is supposedly very scary. I actually wouldn’t mind seeing both versions at some point. Let’s just hope that Harry doesn’t annoy me too much.

Puncture

Now I’ve been a Chris Evans fan since before he was Cap, and his films are always pretty entertaining. I mean at this point, he can’t really lose. This film is something different for him though, as he plays the lawyer with a conscience caught up in a big time conspiracy. And even though we don’t really know what the big mystery is from this trailer, I certainly want to find out.

Underworld Awakening

I know I’m going to get hung on a cross for this, but I’ve never been an Underworld fan. I found them dark, depressing, and boring. Now, on the other hand, I like the idea of this stuff happening in the present day, and the action looks awesome. I might just try and give this one a shot.

Texas Killing Fields

Now this looks awesome! I like that Sam Worthington is really trying to act. I’m also stoked to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the leading man/hero for once. The vibe of the movie is chilling, and I love police films like this. Can’t wait to see it.

Toast

Hm, well this is certainly something a bit different. Suprise surprise Helena Bonham Carter is involved. The movie looks quirky, and at first I thought it looked kind of funny, but as the trailer went on, I found myself rather bored. I like the time period that they’re using, and I like the concept of the film, I just fear that the movie will do what the trailer did: drag on.

Bodyguard

So the title scares me. Like maybe someone was remaking the old Bodyguard movie with Kevin Costner. But it’s worse than that. We get a Bollywood version of the movie with Kevin Costner. At first I thought it was looking kind of badass, but that changed for me quickly. Let’s just hope there’s not a Bollywood version of an Dolly Parton song to go along with it.

A Bird Of The Air

Eh, indie romance. Loner guy meets free spirited girl who speaks her mind. They fall in love while searching for the owners of a parrot. Well, I gotta give them an “A” for originality there. Everything else pretty much reeks of forgetability.

Machine Gun Preacher

This one looks pretty interesting. Gerard Butler as a total criminal tough guy, who goes overseas to help people in Sudan. There looks to be a lot of good moments here, and I’m even hoping for a little bit of action. Cue Gerard shooting a rocket launcher at a truck.

Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

Man, this looks sweet. I thought the first one was awful in almost every way except for the effects. Ghost Rider looks amazing, and the action looks pretty good. I’m kinda bummed that they’re out in the country though. I certainly preferred it in the city where he rode up buildings and whatnot. I’d say if the writing is better, and Nicholas Cage gives up the Elvis accent, we’re gonna have a great flick.

Carnage

We’ve got a bunch of talented actors thrown together in this one, and they’re all going pretty nuts. I laughed a couple of times, but I’m worried the film may bore us a bit, with just watching these people scream at each other in the same room the whole film. We’ll see. If I wanted that I could just move back home.

We Were Here

There are a lot of gay people in San Francisco?? Whaaat!?! And someone made a documentary about it?!? I would have never guessed. Well, jokes aside, the movie certainly looks at the much bleaker side of all the sex, drugs, and who knows what else that was happening back then. I think it could be an interesting documentary, nonetheless, and hopefully it reveals something new to the rest of us.

Trishna

So we got another Bollywood film, at least I think that’s what you would call it. And surprise, there’s some choreographed dance numbers. The entire trailer is music only, which makes me think it doesn’t stray too far off the beaten path.

Julia’s Eyes

I’m glad this trailer gave us subtitles because the film actually does look pretty creepy. We see this woman fall progressively into blindness while this killer stalks her. It looks like fun, with a lot of suspense, and plenty of “jump out of your seat” moments.