Trailer Trash Heap September 20th – De Niro, Al Pacino and Matt Damon Buys a Zoo

Man, is it Tuesday already?? Hells yeah! And that can only mean one thing…It’s the Trailer Trash Heap!

Kyle Kriner here, and I’ve got plenty of trailers for you guys to get excited about as always. Especially for the tweens and documentary lovers. But not exclusively for them. There’s something for everyone, like I always say (especially when I’m trying to convince you not to leave the page). But anyway, enjoy as always, folks!

The Mill and The Cross

Maybe I’m just sick, but does anyone else get a weird black comedy kind of vibe from this? Okay, maybe I am sick, but maybe it’s because my mind was somehow trying to entertain itself through this otherwise boring trailer. Pilgrims painting pilgrims, man what a stunningly boring concept. The whole film seems to be shot on the same 100 yard valley, and other than some brutal lashings, seemingly has little to offer.

Snowmen

I’m sorry, but for some reason I couldn’t help but notice Doug E. Doug was in this movie… Really?? I really didn’t think he still existed. Anyhow, as far as kids movies go, this one seemed like standard fare. I have to say my interests were raised with the montage at the end though. Something about epic music over emotional scenes that always gets me.

Red Lights

Wait for it, wait for it… Slowly pan closer and closer…. BAM! Robert De Niro with glazed over eyes! Hm, teaser seems like an understatement sometimes doesn’t it?

Outrage

See now this is a cool documentary. Exploiting closeted gay politicians. Man, I could watch that all day. I doubt they’re going to un-blur any of the pictures, but maybe we’ll get some good hints as to who they are.

Chalet Girl

Eh, British teen romcom. Boy meets girl at a ski resort or something, and when the season ends they are expected to part ways. Basically Grease without the cool jackets. I don’t think this one is particularly worth checking out.

The Son Of No One

Well, Al Pacino’s last couple of crime thrillers certainly fell a bit flat, so I’m hoping he can get back to form. This movie actually comes with all the trappings I enjoy with a crime/cop thriller. Ray Liotta is always perfect in these roles, and I like Katie Holmes here too believe it or not. Then there’s the issue of Channing Tatum with a mustache…I don’t know how to take that. Is he a young cop with a mustache or are they trying to imply he’s kind of seasoned? Either way, I don’t dig it. And Tracy Morgan is attempting to be serious? That’s as bad as…well, Channing Tatum with a mustache. Let’s hope the film is good enough to ignore those details.

We Bought A Zoo

Okay, so I just have to say I find this premise highly implausible (even if it’s based on a true story). Matt Damon goes house hunting and winds up buying a zoo? Once I get past that, the movie actually seems pretty enjoyable. We know Matt Damon can pull off the role, and some of the dialogue seems really good. And with Scarlett Johansson fresh off her nude cell phone pic stint, this movie is promising.

Finding Joe

Man, this is a good week for documentaries. This is just epic. The hero’s journey. How can you not love this stuff? I’m sure there’s some history lessons in here as well, but it doesn’t matter. That guy Joe was a genius.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Well Bill Nighy certainly is busy right now. The movie is definitely more on the romantic side, but has some funny moments and good dialogue. I would expect nothing less from the director of Shakespeare in Love. So maybe it’s a movie mostly for older viewers, but that doesn’t mean it can’t have redeeming qualities.

Premium Rush

First of all, do people really ride around with no brakes on their bikes? Sounds highly dangerous. Ok, moving right along. I really like the concept here. Who would have thought you could make an action movie about bike riders. No not motorcycles, bikes. The action is definitely there, the fun conspiracy plot seems cool, and Dania Ramirez is too hot for words. I’m also amazed that Joseph Gordon-Levitt still looks like a college freshman. You can start aging any day now, pal. I’m definitely excited for this one.

Knuckle

I don’t know about you guys, but YouTube fighting videos kind of lost their shock value years ago, so I don’t know if a whole movie based around taped streetfights is too engrossing. But I guess the story that comes with it may bring some more value to the film. I’ll wait and see.