Trailer Trash Heap: The Goon, Steve Martin and The Human Centipede 2
Got a case of the Tuesdays? Nah, probably not, but just in case you happen to, here is your cure…The Trailer Trash Heap!
It’s yours truly Kyle Kriner running down the best and worst trailers of the week. It wouldn’t be fair to only show the good ones would it? Not to worry, I’m here to make sure you’re entertained no matter what. Whether you like it or not. Enjoy, folks!
American Reunion
So maybe this isn’t exactly a trailer, but it’s still pretty cool and I’m stoked about it. Especially since for some reason it didn’t make the cut last week. You’d think a trilogy was enough for a coming of age tale like American Pie, and all the ridiculous spin-offs that followed it made it seem pretty much finished. But it looks like we’re getting back the whole original gang. Some of them don’t look so hot these days…cough, Tara Reid, cough….and I’m hoping that this is actually an honest attempt at making another magical film like the ones we fell in love with, and not just a way to cash in on yet another sequel.
The Big Year
Well, right away I’m excited to see what kind of chemistry Owen and Jack have with Steve Martin. These three are going off on some kind of City Slickers type of adventure and I don’t really think we can go wrong here. It doesn’t look laugh out loud funny, but it does look like a good time. It sounds wrong, but I’m hoping for some more vulgarities to pop up in the actual film. Sorry, Jack Black falling down rocks is funny, but so is cursing.
Mere Brother Ki Dulhan
Okay, guys I gotta be honest. I almost didn’t post this one. I couldn’t understand a word anyone said, even when they spoke English. The movie mashes up so much stuff into the trailer. Of course we get our typical Bollywood dance numbers and over the top acting. I can never take these films seriously, but this one really annoyed me just watching the trailer.
The Human Centipede 2
God, worst trailer ever! I was actually grossed out by the first film. It certainly wasn’t very scary, and that doctor guy wasn’t gonna be the next Jigsaw or anything, but I was still curious for this trailer. But we get nothing out of it. I don’t know where they’re going with this, but I don’t think I care at this point.
The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father, CIA Spymaster William Colby
So on one hand, this feels like someone is forcing me to watch C-SPAN, but on the other hand, we have what is a pretty cool tale. A guy makes a documentary searching for the truth about his CIA father. Some stories truly are crazier than fiction. Hopefully the actual film will be more than suits talking on microphones.
The Raid
This movie wants to be badass so bad… And it totally blew my mind! There are bullets flying everywhere, tons of stunts, awesome fights, and it’s all put together very well. If the movie’s half as good as the trailer, we’re in for a good time.
Hell And Back Again
Well, since the last time I featured a trailer for a military documentary, nothing has changed. I think it’s overdone, and to be honest, I don’t need to keep seeing the same story over and over again. The fact that it keeps getting shoved down our throats is annoying, and insulting because they assume we still don’t get it.
The Greening Of Whitney Brown
I guess there are worse tween movies to go see. Rich girls family goes broke and she’s forced to go live a simple life. I literally saw a Hey Arnold episode just like that. Anyway, it doesn’t look all bad. Some cute moments, a little Kristofferson, and a horse pissing off Keith David. Take your kids and enjoy.
The Goon
So what I thought was about to be a funny animated film based on the Eric Powell comic, wound up being a sick, hilarious, inappropriate zombie apocalypse animated film. This trailer is super funny, and the concept here is totally fresh. I’m actually pretty excited to see this one.
