Geekscape mainstay Brian Gilmore visits the Geekscape couch to talk some serious news and reviews! We discuss spammy Russian sex dealers, rural Chinese sex toys and reminisce about the growth of Geekscape! “Taken 2” and “Dredd” get trailers but which is worth watching? Jonathan talks “Safety Not Guaranteed” while Gilmore tears up at “Brave”! Are Firefly fans the most pathetic fans in Geekdom? The Nintendo 3DS XL sounds lame while a Castle Greyskull card holder sounds awesome! PLUS! How 60s TV Batman saved Batman, Marvel Mania Hollywood menus revealed and a Pixar artist draws R Rated movie scenes!

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Pixar illustrator Josh Cooley made a collection of R-rated movie scenes in the style of a kid’s book and named it Movies R Fun. Sadly the book is sold out, but you can buy prints of the scenes here. Can you name all the movies these are from? I know I can. Enjoy!

Geekscape writers Scott Alminiana and Shawn Madden join me on this Geekscapepod to talk through a few things! Green Lantern and Nightwing are going gay in Justice League XXX 3D! Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes is NOT cancelled… we think! Shawn recommends the Netflix Instant indie “Boy Wonder”! Play as Stan Lee in new Amazing Spider-Man preorder DLC! Monster University gets a trailer! More info on Geekscape at SDCC! And we say how much we love Geekscapist Xan!

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Mike and Sulley are back! The first teaser trailer for the sequel/prequel Monsters University is here

A look at the relationship between Mike and Sulley during their days at the University of Fear — when they weren’t necessarily the best of friends.

The voice-cast includes Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Ken Jeong, and Kelsey Grammer. Monsters University comes out June 21, 2013.

I start this episode off telling all of you to go pick up “The FP” this week! Also, “Adventure Time” Season 1 is coming to DVD in July! Fantastic! Falling Skies has returned to TV and why should you be watching it? Is “Before Watchmen” turning itself around? Ed Brubaker’s got your Captain America fix! I review Pixar’s “Brave” and it’s fantastic! And Geekscape favorite BigYanks gets married… finally! But what do we get him?

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Brave Review

Brave, this summer’s entry into Pixar’s pantheon of yearly animated feature films, at times feels like classic Pixar clockwork and at other’s like a new path being discovered for the first time. As much as it owes to the established Pixar (and Disney) storytelling conventions that we’ve grown up knowing, there’s a lot in directors Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman (and co-director Steve Purcell’s) film that feels just fresh enough (and sometimes strange enough) to warrant the name “Brave”. I could go into detail on where the story waxes when maybe we would expect it to wane but that would be spoiling one of the most interesting and rewarding films that Pixar has ever made.

Really, this is a movie that would be spoiled by knowing what awaits you, and I urge anyone reading this to avoid any and all possible spoilers. And I’ll avoid using any of them in my review here. Disney’s ad campaign has been great in not telling us anything about the actual plot and I would even warn you from the film’s IMDB page if you want to go into the film completely fresh.

So what IS safe to know going in? Well, why not start with what we all already know? Brave is the story of the young Celtic princess Merida (Kelly Macdonald), first born of King Fergus (Billy Connolly) and Queen Elinor (Emma Thompson). Upon coming of age, Merida will be married off to the first born son of one of the three Clan Leaders, Lord Dingwall (Robbie Coltrane), Lord MacGuffin (Kevin McKidd) or Lord Macintosh (Craig Ferguson). And since Merida is a feisty young girl who would rather find her own destiny on the back of her horse with a bow in her hand than have others choose it for her, she sets out to thwart her parents and remain unmarried.

The rest of this movie is on point too.

You got all that? Great… because that’s the first 20 to 30 minutes of the movie. The rest of the running time sees the film go in some really interesting directions as Merida goes off to cut her own path. I wish I could tell you more about the plot, including some of my favorite moments, but I really want you to discover this movie for yourselves and the campaigns for the film have done such a great job in keeping things secret. My job is in reviewing the film, not ruining it. Just know that once Merida sets this snowball rolling, it begins to grow beyond her control, knocking down everything in its path and awakening both past secrets and inner truths. As soon as the “plot” started kicking in and going into some strange places, I turned to my friend Brian Walton and whispered “did you know what this movie was about?” He shook his head no. “It’s fantastic.”

And it is… for many reasons. Probably the strongest and most obvious reason is that Brave has the strongest female characters of any of the Pixar movies. And I don’t just mean Merida, although she’s pretty strong and fantastic to watch as she grows through the trials and lessons of the film. But Merida’s mother, Queen Elinor, works as a wise and patient counterweight to Merida’s youthful impatience. The movie is very much about this central relationship and how both characters grow from one another. It’s also how they work to define not only their own lives, but their family and the legacy of their kingdom. I don’t recall Disney or Pixar telling a story that had this strong of a female message or protagonist without the counterweight of a Prince or a male hero. In fact, the males in the film are all entirely used as comedic relief or as cautionary tales. Knowing that little boys make up so much of the toy buying market that drives these summer films (last summer’s “Cars 2” seemed to be completely dictated by it), it was a brave decision (there’s that word again) to make a children’s summer tentpole movie that relies entirely on a female driven story.

And it works. Not only were there no little boys complaining of boredom when the lights came up, there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of dry eyes as well. “Brave” gets very emotionally intense, especially at the end. I was asked by a friend if he could take his 4 year old daughter to see the film and I had to pause and think on it. There are some really scary sequences in the film, and again that ending did a number on everyone. I know that “Toy Story 3” has that scene in the end that everyone quotes as being the scariest, most intense moment in a Disney movie, and it maybe still is, but these two sequences are emotionally intense in two different ways. In the way that Toy Story 3’s end scene found the collective heroes resigned to a horrific fate, but at least there was no question that they were “together in the end”, the emotional ending of “Brave” has everything relying on the shoulders of one female hero and whether or not she did the right thing… and was it enough in the end? It’s just as heartbreaking as the idea that you may not ever see Buzz and Woody again. I could keep arguing on the permanent ramifications and differences of each ending but I’m coming very close to telling too much and that’s something I swore not to do. Just come prepared with some tissues.

The Comedy Rule of 3s applies here… the funniest characters in the movie.

In the end, is “Brave” the best of the Pixar films? I don’t think there’s ever going to be a definite answer for that but it’s definitely one of the best and one of the most interesting. And it’s great to see Monkey Island alum and Sam and Max creator Steve Purcell involved in such a huge film. There is a sequence in the movie in which I thought “wow… that like something they would have put in a Lucasarts adventure game”! And sure enough, Steve’s name was right there in the titles. Tonally, the movie plays light and dark better than most of the Pixar films, and swings between the two probably the widest and the most frequently while hanging the audience out to dry for the longest stretches of time in the most uncomfortable middle, where you really don’t know where this movie is headed. While some detractors have named this as a reason to not enjoy the film, I argue that it’s what makes it one of the most interesting and I can’t wait to see it again because there seemed to be plenty still left unexplored. Technologically and visually, Pixar is still the company to beat. Even though the film has a bit in common with the similar setting of “How to Train Your Dragon”, it’s apparent in “Brave” that they are still the masters of the CGI animated film, both on the screen and on the page. I can’t recommend it to you enough and will be venturing back into the wilds of the megaplexes to see it again when it’s released this weekend.

The Avengers has come and gone, having assembled close to a billion dollars worldwide. What’s your reason for living now? Geekscape’s writers have a few reasons to survive at least through the end of the summer. Spoiler alert: It’s Prometheus.

Matt Blackwood: Indies and Gingers

After The Avengers, I am most looking forward to a couple indies. I know that sounds pretentious, and I certainly don’t want to impugn the inherent buzz of this summer’s blockbusters, but these two particular films each have something about which I’m even more excited. The first is God Bless America, Bobcat Goldthwait’s bloody indictment of reality TV’s subjects. Goldthwait’s previous two comedies, Sleeping Dogs Lie and World’s Greatest Dad, began with sick, over-the-top premises and ended up transcending their genre trappings and becoming beautiful messages of hope. The other film is Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz. I’m not proud of the reason I’m excited about this one, but I’ll show up for Sarah Silverman’s rumored full frontal and stay for the nuanced drama Polley has become known for.

I’m also pretty hopeful about Prometheus. I love Alien; hell, I even love Alien Resurrection! A new horror/sci-fi set in that universe, with Damon Lindelof involved? I’m intrigued. Plus, according to the Gambler’s Fallacy, Ridley Scott is due to make the greatest movie of all time by now.

Finally, there’s Pixar’s Brave. Pixar probably has a better critical batting average than any studio in history, the sad bunt that was Cars 2 notwithstanding, but I usually don’t make an effort to see them. If you have ANY children in your life- cousins, students, illegitimate offspring- you WILL see them whether you want to or not. They are inevitable. I haven’t tried to see one since The Incredibles, and yet I’ve caught them all. But Brave, the tale of a young Scottish girl following her dream of being a highland warrior, is a story I’ll make a trip to the theater to see.

Haterz Gonna Hate

Jae Renfrow: Aliens Resurrected 

So now you’re aimless wandering around, wondering what you’ll do now that you’ve finally gotten to see Thor and Hulk square off on the big screen. Why don’t you come hop aboard the Prometheus train with me? We’re invited(….or are we?) to a far off planet where we’ll get to witness Ridley Scott direct a sort-of prequel to one of the greatest horror films of all time, Alien.

Prometheus has had one of the best ad-campaigns in a long time. Instead of over exposing you with TV spots, 10 minute scene clips and Japanese trailers, they’re dropping wacked out viral clips of futuristic TED talks, and Michael Fassbender showing more range as a soulless robot than Jeremy Renner did as Hawkeye. I’m just sayin’… he didn’t have much to do, did he?

I still don’t know what the hell is gonna happen in this movie, but what I can guarantee is that whatever aliens are in this movie, they’ll be 100% more menacing then those wussy Chitauri and their Jet Motos.

Scott Alminiana: Cock Push Ups

Now that The Avengers has decimated the box office I can now look forward to a few other things. The first thing that I’m looking forward to is the new album from Tenacious D: The Rize of The Fenix. It’s the first album from Tenacious D since The Pick of Destiny movie and album crashed and burned six years ago. To promote the album The D has released two videos so far that prove that Tenacious D is back in fine form and ready to rock our socks off. They will also be touring in concert to coincide with the album release and you can bet I’ve got my tickets already!

The other thing I’m looking forward to is Prometheus, the long awaited return to sci-fi from Ridley Scott. What isn’t there to look forward to from this flick?! From Ridley’s return to the genre that he helped to redefine, to a script from Damon Lindelof that looks to explore some very big unanswered questions from Alien. If the trailers that have been released are any indication of what’s in store for us, then it looks like Prometheus could be one hell of a movie. I’ll be waiting in line opening night for sure.

Heidi Hilliker: It’ll end better than The Dark Tower

Locke & Key Clockworks #6 (of 6)! This last story arc of my beloved series has been epic… And epic might even be an understatement! There’s been so much back story revealed about the drowning caves, the Omega Key, the Black Door, how keys are made, Rendell Locke and the mysteriously evil Dodge. Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez never cease to surprise me with inventive and fascinating information. I can’t wait to see how this chapter concludes and how they set up for the final story arc of the series.

I’m having such a double edge sword of emotions about this titles conclusion. I hate to see this book come to a close but I love the nervous excitement of finding out how it ends! The release date for issue #6 is June 27th. I hope that is pretty spot on. IDW has been known to come in late on Locke & Key’s release dates. I’ll be biting my nails until I get to visually devour this issue so it better be released on time or else I’m going to end up with hobbit fingers.

Molly Mahan: Queen of the Browncoats

The next flick I’m looking forward to is Snow White & The Huntsman. Though I’m not a big fan of K-Stew, I do love me some deconstructionist fairy tales! Also, I am hoping to see Chris Hemsworth be interesting in a movie again. After two weeks of his performances boring me to tears, I am hoping he’ll return to his Star Trek roots and give an emotional performance that I know he’s more than capable of. Or at least hack some Wicked Queen’s men to pieces with an axe. Either way, I’ll be satisfied.

Matt  Kelly: King of Logic

Look, I know everyone has been excited for Avengers and Spiderman and Batman. And with good reason- they look like great movies. They’re everything a geek has dreamed of one day seeing on the silver screen. But I’m not one of those people. Sure I’m going to see all three of those films in theater, but the movie this summer that I can not wait to experience is the sequel to the best 3D film in the last decade. I’m talking about Piranha 3DD. This movie is promising plenty of gore, boobage, laugh out loud comedy and over the top in your face 3D action… Sign me the fuck up.

The Chitauri are coming!

It goes without saying (but I’m going to say it anyways): Our children are our future.

Me? No. I don’t have kids. I have dogs. And you can’t take dogs into public movie theaters. But if I could no doubt even they would pick up on the not so subtle messages being presented to them in recent animated family blockbusters like Wall-E and Happy Feet. Both films tell the story of cute and loveable cast-outs forced to live among the ruinous influence of man. They are both underdogs against overwhelming odds, not only in their immediate social structures (that of more advanced robots and more singing-inclined penguins, respectively), but also against the encroaching destruction wreaked by humanity and their neglect for the planet. Both movies carry huge, whop you over the head like a mallet in Whack-A-Mole, sized messages of conservation, recycling and anti-pollution.

Is this the best way to get the message across? Well, I think that each film has a varying level of effectiveness. No doubt, this is the exact audience that this message needs to reach the most. Yes. Our children are our future? Me? I’ll be joining the 30-somethings in December. The card game is already long in the tooth and everybody knows the cards I’m holding. But the future of this planet lies in the hands of children who are being told something very clear from a source that they absolutely listen to: cartoons.

You know that scene in Disney’s Pinnochio where that jackass kid leads Pinnochio astray and starts smoking gets turned into, well, a jackass? That scene horrified me. I absolutely credit that nightmarish sequence as one of the reasons I’ve never picked up a cigarette. It kept me up at night for countless nights.  It completely scared me off of gambling and smoking (I have yet to properly learn the game of poker).

That approach is what was employed in George Miller’s Happy Feet. For the first half of the movie, you have one of the most magical animated stories I have ever seen. When that little egg pops out penguin feet and starts dancing around, you are in love. The entire time Happy Feet grows into adolescence, you are there. We recognize all of the moments: feeling outcast, your first love, striving to be the best at being you. The first half of Happy Feet was one of my favorite experiences in a theater that year.

Then something just… snaps. We meet the older penguin voiced by Mork from Ork. He’s got a plastic six-pack holder stuck around his neck. Okay. It’s Robin Williams so it’s still funny… right? I’m still with it, I guess. Then the heavier pollution themes begin to appear. The ice is melting. The oil tankers are coming. There’s a horrific scene where Robin Williams’ penguin appears to have died violently while gasping for air. The story begins to get weighed down to a crawl. Then it starts to bend under this weight. The audience checks their watches. Happy Feet gets caught in a net and brought into the world of man.

Then the movie turns into a SCI-FI HORROR FILM AND I AM SCARED! In minutes, Happy Feet goes from being something that I am completely invested in to something that scares the living hell out of me. The visual language of the film is from horror films. The themes and sounds resonate the darkest science fiction, alien invasion plots of the 1950s and 1960s. I am 100% creeped the fuck out. The kid next to me is covering his eyes. We are sharing the same expression on our faces. Our jaws are agape and our eyes are wide. Complete “what the hell is happening” fear.

In Happy Feet, the humans might be represented as faceless members of a whole but they are absolutely REAL. They are realistic in their compositions and rendering. They are human in their voices. The pollution and destruction that they have wrought are real world terrors from the front pages of our newspapers (or at least the papers that Al Gore and I read). There is an immediate recognition and attribution when these horrors and humans are on screen.

Is it too much? The movie went on to rake in all sorts of cash at the box office. We lived in a world of Happy Feet for 6 months. The film won an Oscar for Best Animated Feature (over the perfect Monster House). But I can’t help but think that many of us were left behind. For me, the language of the message was too much.

With Happy Feet I felt as though I was being scared into a certain way of thinking. The stance was obvious and I was being provoked into getting in line. The gradual brainwashing sequence in the film comes to mind. Happy Feet scared you into being a better person… for the good of our world.

Wall-E goes about the same message in a very different way. Here, the problems are magnified far beyond reality. Our world is already uninhabitable and has been for centuries. The Earth has already lost. Humanity has already begun a slow devolution as punishment for their myopic and selfish crimes. But you laughed! And even though the world in which Wall-E exists is severely separated from the reality we currently live in, we felt more empathetic towards it. This is a world we wanted to see succeed, even though the odds were that much more insurmountable. Despite its distance from us and the fact that our main character spoke in beeps and whirs, we were invested in its human element.

Wall-E’s complete separation from reality is what gives the message its effectiveness. We aren’t being scared into thinking a certain way. We are painted a picture and given the exaggerated facts and then left with them to make of what we will. THIS is the world of the future. THESE are the people of the future. THAT is what we are left with. The circumstances are SO extreme and farfetched that it gives us the safety to be able to look at the situation objectively. Rather than having a finger pushed in our face and being challenged to react, we are given an image of the world in the film and are asked “how did we end up like this?”.

My girlfriend Laura has an incredible tool that she has mastered through years of working in human resources. I no doubt discovered this tool by messing up somehow but I will spare you that story and share this lesson with you freely. It works wonders.

Simply, when you are met with an interpersonal communication problem, start each sentence with “help me understand…”. It’s fucking genius. “Help me understand why you borrowed my razor without asking me first.” “Help me understand how my XBox Live profile got deleted.” “Help me understand why you thought it was a good idea to have sex in the changing rooms while we were taking store inventory.” Try it. It works in every situation.

What it does is several things. First, it diffuses the problem a bit and keeps both sides from taking immediate defensive positions going into problem solving. Second, it places the ball in THEIR hands. It asks THEM to help YOU. Rather than defensively responding in a rush of excuses, the other side problem solves and processes the series of events that led to the current situation. YOU are the open-armed good guy. THEY are now on your team, working with you to make things right. Someone might be in the wrong, but you start digesting the problem from a neutral and balanced place.

Pixar’s storytellers are so damn smart. The entire world of Wall-E is presented in this way. Even in the opening shots, the film is saying “Help me understand…”. We see spires and mountains and skyscrapers of abandoned junk. The audience is asked by these images to answer… “what happened here?” They are shown the problems of the film’s world on a grand scale but never forced or manipulated into judging. Just given a simple “help me understand.”

On the flipside, Happy Feet does to audiences what I do to my dogs when they won’t eat their pills. I start them off with their food and I watch as they eat it. While they do, I quietly get a treat and bury a pill into it. Then I feed it to them. By the time the pill has been swallowed, it’s too late. I have tricked them! They definitely hate me for that and are defensive about it. Any human would be.

So I pose the question to you: when it comes to using animated films to teach our children lessons, what approach is more effective or welcome? The open armed, humorous distancing of Wall-E? Or the cold, harsh reality lessons of Happy Feet? At the end of the day, is the message getting through? Is the storytelling lost in the lesson or the lesson lost in the storytelling?

Please. Help me understand. Did the message get through to you?