Briefly: Yeah, pretty much the entire internet has been beyond excited for the Men In Black / Jump Street crossover film that was first discovered way back when during the Sony email leaks.

According to Jump Street star Jonah Hill, that crossover is unlikely to ever happen.

In an interview with The Toronto Star, Hill notes that “It’s too complicated. They’re trying to make all the deals, but it’s kind of impossible with all the Men in Black stuff. The Jump Street films were so fun to make and the whole joke of them was they were making fun of remakes and sequels and reboots and then now it’s become a giant sequel, reboot. It’s almost become what we were making fun of and it’s hard to maintain that joke when it’s so high stakes.”

So… it’s not completely dead, but it’s probably completely dead.

Way to destroy our dreams, Jonah.

Would you be down for a Men in Black / Jump Street crossover?

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I don’t even need to describe how popular it is to watch horror movies during this time of year, do I? You do it. Your friends do it. You probably do it with your friends. You might even do it with your parents if they’re cool. I need to work on phrasing, but especially in the Age of the Binge-Watch, Halloween movie marathons are a popular modern ritual.

Although it makes all the sense in the world to indulge in horror movies during the one month you’re pretty much obligated to, there’s no reason you can’t change things up a little bit. There exists countless horror-ish films that would be perfect for a Halloween binge-watch to throw in between A Nightmare on Elm Street and pretty much any Stanley Kubrick movie. From dark genre movies, visceral documentaries, to grim comedies, here’s a fun list of movies to select from if you don’t feel like watching the later Friday the 13th movies for the bazillionth time.

Also, I chose not to include some of the more obvious choices. The idea is to change things up a bit more. So no matter how much you love them, I have not included Van Helsing, nor American Psycho, or GhostbustersShaun of the Dead, Freddy vs. JasonThe Nightmare Before ChristmasZombieland, or even Hocus Pocus. You probably already watch Hocus Pocus anyway.

You don’t need to watch everything here. Take one or two to spruce up your Halloween marathon. You might be pleasantly surprised.

This is also by all means not a complete list. These are just suggestions.

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The Crow (1994, dir. Alex Proyas)

An amazing film was created for almost $15 million in 1994. $8 million was added for tragic reasons. On Devil’s Night in Detroit, rock star Eric Draven and his fiance Shelly are murdered. One year later, Eric rises from the grave for revenge.

Although kind of an obvious choice given its grim aesthetic, this film is largely undiscussed during Halloween, and that baffles me. It came at the right time: smack dab in the grungy 90’s, when comic books started overcompensating for their campy roots. The Crow is rightfully celebrated for being a weird, stylish gothic action film. Eric Draven is such a cool character, I mean just fucking look at him. It’s no wonder Sting modeled a look right after him in WCW (and has kept that look ever since). Have you ever listened to the soundtrack? Listen to it. It’s a great collection of grunge-gothic rock from the only decade that kind of music could ever exist.

Sadly, the film’s production was troubled; the death of its star, Brandon Lee, was killed under freaky circumstances during filming. It’s far more haunting when you consider his father, the legendary Bruce Lee, also passed away during production of The Game of DeathAlthough incredibly unfortunate, it has made this awesome, kick-ass movie otherworldly.

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Gojira (1954, dir. Ishiro Honda)

Casual filmgoers scoff at Godzilla movies. It’s the bad special effects and awful dubbing which relegate the films to the schlock B-movie category. Well if they ever do that to Gojira, those people are idiots and they can go fuck themselves. Gojira is superbly grim, and nothing like the silliness (and, let’s be honest, total awesomeness) that followed. Coming almost ten years after the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that ended World War II, Gojira remains a visual poem to the dangers of nuclear war. The attraction might be a gigantic lizard terrorizing Japan, but at its heart Gojira is very human, as the people who can stop the monster struggle with their own inner demons and ask questions no one is willing to answer. The black and white cinematography add to Godzilla’s mystique and his grotesque form is made stranger with the less you see. You can pick a later Godzilla movie and laugh and cheer at the G-man. You watch this one, however, and you’re terrified but awe-struck by his destructive elegance.

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13 Assassins (2010, dir. Takashi Miike)

One of the most thrilling samurai epics in recent film history, horror master Takashi Miike explores other genre territory but brings along the tools he knows best in 13 Assassins. A lord with unlimited power wreaks havoc at will, and so a gang of samurai band together to put an end to his madness. Although very much a samurai film, Miike’s signature gore and macabre visuals are in full display; vivid red blood pours out of a man’s belly from ritual suicide, a woman in ghostly white geisha make-up is left without limbs, a monster of a ruler target practices his archery against children. It may not be a horror film, but it can be pretty damn close. Watch for the climactic showdown. It’s a whopping 50 minutes.

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The Animatrix (2003, dir. various)

I love The Matrix. Even if Reloaded and Revolutions aren’t well-favored by most, its ambition and imagination still exceeds even some of the more revered films out there. I could put the entire trilogy on this list, but you’ve already seen them and you’re probably one of the many who hate the sequels. But I also don’t need to, because The Animatrix exists and believe it or not, it’s pretty fucking terrifying. This anthology brings together some of the biggest names in anime, and serves as a wonderful exercise on the auteur theory. Each short is wildly different from the next, and its scope is boundless despite being no more than maybe ten minutes each. My personal favorite is “A Detective Story” (pictured) but you absolutely need to watch “The Second Renaissance.” In fact, I’ll allow you to skip most of the film if you must (although you shouldn’t), but “The Second Renaissance” is mandatory viewing.

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Dredd (2012, dir. Pete Travis)

I liked Dredd but I didn’t love it. Still, as a throwback to super violent 80s/90s action movies (and a dash of sci-fi), with modern special effects, grungy locales, and an antagonist straight out of a prog-rock album, it’s worth watching. Especially on Halloween, if you find yourself tired of helpless teenagers, it will be refreshing to watch someone totally capable of kicking ass. I’m hoping for a sequel that far exceeds the quality of its predecessor, but until then, Dredd isn’t a bad choice.

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Room 237 (2012, dir. Rodney Ascher)

If The Shining isn’t a part of your Halloween marathon, you’re a complete failure. It truly is one of the best films, period, we’re not even talking horror. However, a fantastic companion piece is the documentary Room 237 that delves into some of the most bizarre critical theories about this wonderful, weird movie. Turn off the lights and turn up the volume. Some of the revelations — whether you agree or not — can be just as terrifying.

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Bunraku (2010, dir. Guy Mosche)

No one watched Bunraku. No one. Which is why you should at least check it out, especially this time of year. Costumes and intricate sets galore in this weird, all substance and no style, wacky mish-mosh of jidaigeki and westerns all made by a guy who played a lot of Nintendo growing up. The setting is a total novelty, a vaudeville romp with costumes you’d love to wear to a party. I don’t think it’s particularly good, but I love it. Woody Harrelson plays a mentor figure of sorts, and Ron Perlman plays the villain. You should be sold now.

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The Act of Killing (2013, dir. Joshua Oppenheimer)

Nothing is more terrifying than real people doing evil things. No amount of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krugers can match up to war criminals, corrupt dictators, serial killers, sex criminals, and racists. Enter The Act of Killing, the Oscar-nominated documentary on the 1965-1966 mass killings of suspected communists in Indonesia. 500,000 people were horrifically murdered for even remotely being associated with communism, and these acts and the people who committed them are celebrated in Indonesia today as something of a folk tale. Tons of people who worked on this movie withheld their identities for fear that they will be killed by these monsters who are still alive today. A powerful examination on the human condition and a surreal peek inside the mind of a mass murderer, it is an audacious work of filmmaking and far more paralyzing than any horror movie. Make this movie the last to watch for the day. If you’re still human, you don’t want to go on.

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Man of Tai Chi (2013, dir. Keanu Reeves)

Probably the least qualified to be on this list, Man of Tai Chi makes it because Keanu Reeves as a kung-fu villain is too good to pass up. Keanu Reeves’ directorial debut is one hell of a action film with excellent choreography and enough of a creepy, sterile setting that feels like it came from a totally different movie. Dramatic lighting, bad ass fights, and exotic locales makes this worth watching if you’re tired of cabins in woods.

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Detention (2010, dir. Joseph Kahn)

I’m kind of breaking my own rules here because Detention is technically a horror movie, but way, way, way more people need to see this kintetic teen rollick. A true groundbreaker in genre filmmaking, Detentions plot is kind of hard to sum up, but it involves a horror slasher come to life, high school, time travel, a bear, UFOs, and a super meta examination of modern teen movies. Joseph Kahn’s ADD-filled tribute to 90s culture is like Scott Pilgrim vs. The World for the click-bait crowd, but that crowd is a little too stupid to appreciate this awesome, kick-ass flick. And you’re not stupid, so watch Detention.

If there is ONLY one movie to take from this list, make it Detention.

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Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (2013, dir. Isaac Florentine)

Ninjas are a popular costume for people like that asshole Jake who is going out with your ex-girlfriend. So cleanse your palette and watch real ninjas like Scott Adkins and Kane Kosugi kick total ass that douchebags like Jake can’t because he’s a douchebag. Ninja: Shadow of a Tear gets bonus points because Scott gets his ninja costume FROM A GRAVE. So that’s kinda Halloween.

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Super (2010, dir. James Gunn)

James Gunn went from indie rock filmmaker to Super Bowl halftime after this year’s Guardians of the Galaxy, so if you’re unfamiliar with his work the time to check him out was six months ago. He has a more Halloween-appropriate comedy/horror flick in Slither but since the goal of this list is to branch out, Super is appropriate. It is strictly a superhero movie, but it contains such dark humor you’re left laughing uncomfortably. “You can’t walk anymore!” yells Ellen Page in a superhero costume to a criminal she crippled. When it’s not making you laugh, it can be just as dark as a Stanley Kubrick movie.

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Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993, dir. Eric Radomski and Bruce Timm)

Heads up: There are three Batman films on this list, but don’t worry: none of them are helmed by Christopher Nolan, or even Tim Burton (and Joel Schumacher). Originally planned as a direct-to-video release, it strangely got a total theatrical release and consequently bombed due to short notice. But who cares, because this is arguably one of the best Batman movies period. A strange vigilante has shown up taking out criminals and the police mistake him for Batman. Batman then tries to clear his name while finding out who is the strange new crime fighter. Dark, smart, and beautifully animated, it’s appropriate being the film coming from the best cartoons ever made.

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Batman (1966, dir. Leslie H. Martinson)

Because there really are some days you can’t get rid of a bomb. Here’s a tip: Don’t be a loser and watch The Dark Knight for the umpteenth time. The pro-Men’s Rights guy that you argue with on Facebook sometimes is watching The Dark Knight. Don’t be that guy. Indulge on the utter nonsense that was the 1966 Batman, arguably the best Batman we’ve ever had.

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Batman: Under the Red Hood  (2010, dir. Brandon Vietti)

Batman: Under the Red Hood just might be one of my favorite Batman movies. This tight, emotionally-wrenching animated film about Batman crossing paths with the Red Hood is super fitting for Halloween. While legendary Kevin Conroy does not voice the Dark Knight, Bruce Greenwood does an excellent job, as does the rest of the cast of this great piece of animation. John DiMaggio exceeds as the Joker, which is shocking because I never thought his deep, scruffy voice would ever fit the clown prince. Just look at that image above. You can tell you’re not in for your usual after-school cartoon.

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Dogma (1999, dir. Kevin Smith)

I’ll try to defend Kevin Smith as much as possible, but even I can only go so long. While Tusk and Red State may be actual horror movies, Dogma is the one with actual devils and supernatural beings. Two exiled angels attempt to re-enter heaven thanks to a holy loophole, and doing so can unmake the very fabric of reality. It’s got demonic shit monsters, evil hockey players, the thirteenth apostle, and a truckload of dick, weed, and fart jokes. Watch Dogma and indulge on irreverent comedy back when Smith made sense.

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Drive (2011, dir. Nicholas Winding Refln)

Drive was a festival darling when it first came out, and since then it has kind of lopsided in its relevancy. People just kind of stopped talking about it. It’s become something of a new Donnie Darko: a dark, gritty movie that seemed cool but is now almost something of a joke. I say almost because once in awhile, when the stars align right, you can still see the kick-ass B-movie, pseudo-horror action noir that everyone else saw that summer in 2011, and not the movie your jerk roommate won’t shut up about. The amazing 80s-centric techno soundtrack is a standout. “Nightcall” by Kavinsky could have opened an 80s horror movie.

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Masked Rider The First (2005, dir. Takao Nagaishi)

Even some hardcore genre film fans barely watch tokusatsu, so introduce yourself with this kind of bad, kind of awesome package of B-movie sci-fi/superhero with a touch of horror. Kamen Rider has been a staple of Japanese sci-fi for almost forty years, and this film reboots the jump-kicking grasshopper into a darker hero. There are much better Kamen Rider movies and shows to watch — Ryuki, Kabuto, W, Gaim — but I suspect there’s a chance most of you don’t even know what I’m talking about. So start with, appropriately titled, The First.

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Lo (2009, dir. Travis Betz)

Just look at that motherfucker. I’m once again breaking my rules because Lo is still considered kind of a horror movie, but it’s less that and more of an experimental film examining love and loss. Justin has lost his girlfriend, so he summons a demon and tasks him to find her in Hell. Lo is a total dick and a riot, and solid reason why you should watch this, at least if you’re stoned. It might be a little too out there for some people, and it can be eye-rollingly arthouse — some of it takes place on a stage — but there’s enough weirdness to make it a refreshing piece to any Halloween binge-watch.

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Following (1998, dir. Christopher Nolan)

When I think Christopher Nolan, I want to think the guy who made Inception and Memento. I hate thinking about the guy that made The Dark Knight Rises. I’m so stoked for Interstellar because Nolan is a masterful, visual storyteller who belongs in cinema, I just hate he had to waste a solid nine years doing Batman. Check out Following to see the sensei when he was a journeyman, and you’ll see he had talent all along. His first film is an claustrophobic noir thriller excellent for this time of year.

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Hellboy and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, or pretty much anything from Guillermo Del Toro (2004 and 2008, dir. Guillermo del Toro)

Ron Perlman plays the candy-bar eating, TV-watching demon who fights and investigates paranormal threats in service to a dedicated government agency. The film adaptations are smart, funny, imaginative, utterly strange, and everything you would want in a dark fantasy blockbuster. The creatures and set designs are signature del Toro, and while you could also watch his other work — The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth — it’s the Hellboy movies where you’ll have the most fun.

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Knights of Badassdom, (2013, dir. Joe Lynch)

Wikipedia classifies Knights of Badassdom as a comedy-horror, and while it’s not entirely wrong it’s definitely far more comedic than horror. In fact, I’d call it comedic dark fantasy. Best friends participate in a LARP (live-action role play, aka something I’m dying to do) and accidentally summon a succubus and it terrorizes the whole park. The production of the film had some trouble; filming started in 2010 but wasn’t officially released until 2013. It stars, among others, the now A-list Peter Dinklage, who has become a household name in Game of ThronesBut before that, the dude was drunkenly swinging rubber swords in what I think is a rather fun, pretty dumb little movie.

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Men in Black (1997, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld)

A lot of Will Smith movies are actually watchable on Halloween. I Am Legend stands out, and if I wanted to I’d say Independence Day but we all know when to watch that. But I often forget how good Men in Black is. The sequels have diminished the series, but the first film stands as a tight, fun, wacky sci-fi movie that totally gives the middle finger to paranoid conspiracy theorists who have always feared nameless government agents. The cockroach monster is remarkably terrifying in design.

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Mortal Kombat (1995, dir. Kevin Droney)

You’ve just heard the gong and now the music is playing in your head. Based on the video games that have freaking zombie ninjasMortal Kombat is probably one of the best film adaptations of a video game, period. While still reeking of B-movie mediocrity, its top-notch fight choreography, practical dark fantasy sets, and 90s camp make Mortal Kombat a total winner for Halloween marathons. It even includes a totally awesome fight scene with Reptile, who has nothing but a coding joke in the first game.

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Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue (2009, dir. Andrew Monument)

This gripping documentary traces the history and evolution of the American horror film as a genre and reflection of the cultural psyche. Tightly edited and chillingly narrated by Lance Henriksen (Admiral Hackett in Mass Effect), it’s an educating and entertaining college course condensed into ninety minutes.

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Oldboy (2003, dir. Park Chan-wook)

I don’t even know where to begin. Easily in my personal top five, this psychological thriller is a testament to what is possible in cinema. Five-star acting, expert directing and storytelling, haunting cinematography, and a hypnotic soundtrack, Oldboy is a great movie to watch any day of the week all-year long. If you haven’t seen this movie, you’re a failure, but you can redeem yourself if you watch it the one month where you’re allowed to see something fucked up. You won’t see the ending coming.

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Pacific Rim (2013, dir. Guillermo del Toro)

I already listed “anything by Guillermo del Toro,” but I need to single out Pacific Rim. I cannot talk about this movie enough. Legitimately one of the best and most imaginative sci-fi movies ever, the film acts as both a loving tribute to kaiju movies, tokusatsu, and anime, and as a flag-planter embarking on its own legacy. Featuring one the most beautiful, haunting, and utterly elegiac sequences in cinema — a child runs alone from the gigantic monster chasing her — is a poignant, truly scary picture of destruction and innocence. Also it’s wonderfully light and funny, a welcome feeling from the summer that brought us the stupidly dark Man of Steel. Pacific Rim is everything you want in a big blockbuster and why you should still go to the theaters. Gigantic kaiju monsters and robots are perfect on Halloween, and this is kaiju at its best. Anyone that looked at this movie, saw giant robots fighting, and scoffed at the notion can rightfully go fuck themselves. Those people lack imagination and should not be bothered with.

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Road to Perdition (2002, dir. Sam Mendes)

Breathtaking cinematography, top-notch directing, cool characters, and a gritty aesthetic make Road to Perdition far different than anything you can watch on Halloween. Tom Hanks plays an ex-mobster and father who seeks vengeance for the death of his family. The creepy assassin played by Jude Law is a woefully underrated movie villain.

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Soylent Green (1973, dir. Richard Fleischer)

The ending line to this dystopian sci-fi movie is one of the most iconic lines in movie history. And while it’s pretty much a spoiler, it’s still worth watching. You knew Darth Vader was Luke’s father anyway, and you still watched Star WarsSo check out Charlton Heston get freaked the fuck out over what soylent green actually is. It’s a horrific revelation — so, great for Halloween.

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Super 8 (2011, dir. J.J. Abrams)

I envy J.J. Abrams. That dude grew up watching Steven Spielberg and Star Wars and what is he doing now? Having movies produced by Steven f’n Spielberg and doing Star Wars 7Super 8 has been appropriately described as Cloverfield meets Stand By MeA group of kids making a movie in a small-town in 1979 America witness a dangerous entity unleashed from a train accident. It’s both sci-fi and coming-of-age, so check it out when you’re gorging on candy corns.

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Princess (2006, dir. Anders Morgenthaler)

A missionary comes home after his sister, a prominent adult films star, dies of drug abuse. With her 5-year-old daughter left behind, he adopts her and sets out on a vengeful quest to destroy all remaining pornographic materials of his departed sister. The animation — which given the premise, makes the juxtaposition that much stronger — is slightly low-quality, but the storytelling is gripping. Feel free to categorize this under “totally fucked up movies” to watch with bros. It truly is a totally fucked up movie, and on a subversive level not even The Human Centipede can match. Trust me.

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Throne of Blood (1957, dir. Akira Kurosawa)

Almost any film adaptation of Macbeth is fitting for Halloween. Witches and demons are everywhere, and on a meta-level the superstition of even naming the play has existed for centuries. Kurosawa’s adaptation of the Scottish play and morphing it into feudal Japan is a haunting, terrifying ride of using evil to rise to power. Toshiro Mifune is always a treat to watch — the man was almost Obi-Wan — and to watch him totally get fucked up is a cinematic thrill. Lady Asaji Washizu — aka Lady Macbeth, portrayed by Isuzu Yamada — has one of the eeriest scenes ever filmed.

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V For Vendetta (2006, dir. James McTeigue)

The use of the Guy Fawkes mask as a symbol of millennial, post-9/11 rebellion never ceases to amaze me. I’m excited to read the eventual, inevitable book about the phenomenon. But regardless of your feelings of Anonymous, V For Vendetta remains a powerful piece of dark dystopia with one of the most enigmatic characters ever in fiction. I actually liked the changes made to V in the film, seeing him goof off and cook eggs makes an excellent, fun character. Still rather smart after all these years, its grim and stylish swagger makes V For Vendetta a refreshing Halloween marathon movie. Be honest: If you see V show up in your home, you’d shit your pants.

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Watchmen (2009, dir. Zack Snyder)

One day I’ll live in a world where Watchmen is a far more appreciated film than it is right now. But today is not that day. It is still the best film adaptation we could have ever gotten, and it’s an achievement it even exists. The origin of Doctor Manhattan remains one of the most beautifully-shot and chilling sequences in modern filmmaking today. If you can, watch the Ultimate Cut; it is combined with the animated horror short, Tales of the Black Freighter, which solidifies Watchmen a worthy entry into any Halloween binge. Just make it the last one, the Ultimate Cut is almost four hours long.

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Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown (2009, dir. Frank H. Woodward)

H.P. Lovecraft is horror. His influences knows no bounds. From Guillermo del Toro to Neil Gaiman to even freaking Pirates of the Caribbean, the man established so much of what we know as horror today. This appropriately eerie documentary on the man himself is chilling, haunting, and incredibly informative.

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Rear Window (1954, dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

Alfred Hitchcock rightfully holds the championship title of the “Master of Suspense.” Plenty of his movies set the bar for what we consider horror today, even if the majority of his films more correctly can be considered suspense thrillers. Yet movies like Psycho and The Birds have influenced generations of horror filmmakers, and no one could teach this kung-fu better than ol’ Al. For this year’s Halloween, if you haven’t already, check out one suspense thriller that is just two steps away from being proper horror: the classic Rear WindowThe showdown with the film’s antagonist — a true son of a bitch that could have been a horror movie slasher in a parallel universe — is shot and edited wonderfully that is as terrifying as any top-tier slasher. Any horror fan can watch PsychoTrue horror fans will see the terror in Rear Window

Know of any other non-horror horror movies to watch? Comment below! I’m sure I left out a couple dozen.

There has been a lot of shows lately that are adaptations, prequels or sequels to stand-alone films, which I personally think is great. Bates Motel is on A&E and Amazon just picked up the rights to a Zombieland pilot, both sure to set all of our nerd senses to tingling. All this got me thinking: there are so many other movies that could certainly benefit from being made into a television series, and here’s my list of the geekiest, most spectacular of the bunch. And yeah, I know a lot of these have already been adapted into animated series, but I’m talking big-budget, live-action primetime here folks.

10. Back to the Future

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This was one of those that had an animated series that I’m not counting, but COME ON! Wouldn’t you love to see a modern day Marty McFly tagging along with Doc Brown across all different kinds of history? The possibilities are endless. This even has potential to be (dare I say it) the American Doctor Who! Imagine the two traveling through time solving mysteries or something while picking up companions and having cultural differences from the other people in the town. It’s basically Back to the Future Part III over and over again. It’s almost completely unnecessary to the overall plot of the series, but so much fun that you forgive it anyways.

9. Kick-Ass

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This one is essentially a given once the film series stops being a thing. I mean, it’s already a comic book series, so the world for the television series is essentially already set up. I haven’t personally read comics (bad geek, I know) but I would assume that the makers of the movies would leave the series open enough for some additional materials. The movie has garnered a cult following with people who are probably too young to be watching it, and an MTV series would probably be the perfect vehicle to capitalize on this. Before all you purist naysayers immediately object to this being on MTV, think about the channel’s current programming. They create relatively consistent (and violent) original scripted shows, and this would catapult the Kick-Ass canon to further cult success. Food for thought.

8. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

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Hey, you remember that Jude Law movie about robots attacking vintage New York you didn’t see? Well it was awesome. And if you cut down on some of the more unnecessary special effects, it could make for a brilliant, less-costly TV show. When you watch the movie you get the impression that there were meant to be sequels, but literally no one saw this movie so it was kind of impractical. But seriously. Cast two young show-runners in Law and Paltrow’s respective roles, my nominations being Dylan O’Brien (sidekick from Teen Wolf) and Ashley Benson (recently seen being a psycho slut in Spring Breakers), and there you go: ratings gold. There could be quirky one-liners, dramatic villains and sinfully cheesy season arcs, and everything would be perfect.

7. Starship Troopers

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I’m honestly surprised that SyFy Channel hasn’t jumped on this sooner. There was apparently an animated series devoted to the giant bug killing universe, but IMDb only lists 14 episodes, so that barely counts. But seriously, can you imagine a shit-tastic cable series with D-list former soap opera stars slaying poorly made CGI bugs? Wait. Let it sink in for a bit more. Thaaaat’s right. Now we’re on the same page. There were tons of straight to DVD sequels that have helped to expand this universe to something other than “the one where Neil Patrick Harris is a metaphor for Naziism” and has created a lot of “hate watch” fandom. Starship Troopers is one of the quintessential college “let’s get drunk to this” movies and a TV show would simply make all of our alcoholic endeavors so much richer.

6. Men in Black

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Yeah. There was an animated one of this too. Deal. While I am admittedly not a huge fan of the series, I would watch the shit out of it if it was a TV show. It seems like a premise that would serve much better as a serial anyways. My main problem with Men in Black is that the villains are never given enough time to have much emotional impact, and even if they were are too comical to really be taken seriously. I think that the MiB world would benefit strongly from a series pretty similar to Buffy, where characters are given time to grow and each season introduces a “big bad” who is the main villain throughout most of the series. If your nerd senses aren’t tingling from that description then you may want to get them checked.

5. Being John Malkovich

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This one is admittedly a little out of left field, but hear me out! So in the original film, John Cusack finds a portal that has the ability to transport one into the mind of John Malkovich. Pretty weird idea that doesn’t seem like it would work in a movie much less a TV show, right? Wrong. So in this writer’s view for the show, the portal is re-opened for whatever reason, preferably NOT by Charlie Sheen as referenced in the end of the film, only to discover that it can be manipulated to enter any celebrities mind. Get a good team of writers on board and you’ve got a brilliant series that is cancelled mid-season and establishes a cult following. BOOM. You’re welcome, Fox.

4. Children of Men

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I mean… it’s essentially already an AMC show. Let’s get real. Conflicted male protagonist with secrets (ahem, Mad Men) whose sole goal is to protect incompetent and sometimes pregnant women with hopes of saving the world (ahem, Walking Dead). That aside I do think that the film would make for an interesting mini-series, if not a full blown series. There are a lot of really interesting political things brought up, and the series could follow the beginning of the infertility problem with the population (if you haven’t seen it it’s about a society of people that can’t have babies) and further the movie’s somewhat cliffhanger of an ending. A low tech sci-fi show about dystopian societies are right up basic cable’s alley, and can you say Emmy material???

3. Alien

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The primary reaction to this one is probably “How the fuck do you make that into a series?” Oh trust me my friends, its very possible. Through various sequels, prequels and whatever the hell you would consider Alien vs. Predator, the Alien saga has built up quite an impressive universe for itself, not to mention a killer fan base. There are a lot of questions about the nature of The Company that were left unanswered by Prometheus, which was too preoccupied with being a stand-alone film to actually give the fans what they wanted, and a TV series is the perfect way to do that. If we are all insistent on not taking Prometheus back and pretending it didn’t exist, it can take up immediately after that film and be concerned with the more political sides of the Alien saga, while still having some aspects of sci-fi terror to keep things interesting. Seeing that HBO has a thing for stylized, dry (if a little boring at time *ahem Game of Thrones*) fantasy works, this would be a perfect addition to their line-up.

2. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

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If this was a series, childhood Paul would literally die of happiness. The real people/cartoon mix may be a little too difficult on the CGI count to be able to actually be a TV series but you have to admit it would be intriguing. I could work really well as a half hour sitcom if the raunchiness was amped up a bit from the original film. And by a bit I mean to like Family Guy levels. Yeah, the original was a kids movie and this would go against the original spirit of the film and blah blah blah but imagine the awesomeness of a PG-13 Roger Rabbit series? The movie was already pretty dark and a series would be the perfect thing to not only further the film’s cult following, but also to make the best damned animated/live-action cross over television series there is!

1. Blade Runner

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This. Really though. This. Just let this sink in for a while. Blade Runner has one of the most cinematically unexplored sci-fi universes, which confounds me because it’s fascinating. I guess there really wasn’t a desire to make a sequel, because the storyline of the film is pretty neatly wrapped up. There are so many great characters and such a rich history in the world, and it could be a very Battlestar Galactica-esque series, which I’m not just saying because I’m hoping for an Edward James Olmos cameo. It would probably work best if it were a prequel series to the film, telling the story of how the replicants came to be, their rise to prominence and their sub-sequential fall from glory. And the best part is, there would be almost complete creative control because the film is based on a short story that doesn’t give much more information than the film does. So in other words, this is my favorite show that isn’t actually a show yet.

 

That pretty neatly wraps up my list. Here’s hoping a few of these come to fruition before I die. And here’s hoping that Zombieland pilot doesn’t suck balls. Stay nerdy my friends. Stay nerdy.

 

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