Aww… they grow up so fast! Former Geekscape writer and current big boy over at Inverse Eric Fancisco returns to the podcast for a good old fashioned pop culture conversation! We disagree on what we loved and hated about the new ‘Hellboy’ film! Where does the John Wick franchise go after ‘John Wick 3’s hyper violence? And did ‘Detective Pikachu’ solve the mystery of the missing quality videogame movies? Along the way we play serious catch up, talk about the dark side of geek media and Eric walks us through some of the highlights of this past weekend’s DnD Live from Wizards of the Coast! Enjoy!

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You might surprised that Ron Perlman doesn’t want to make Hellboy 3 considering he’s been one of the biggest cheerleaders for the film getting made.  His constant tweeting and rallying for support of the film at conventions such as Comic-con make it even more baffling that he doesn’t actually want to do it.  His reasoning?  Check out the quote from a recent interview Perlman gave after a TCA panel for his Amazon series Hand of God:

“Let me make the record clear,” Perlman said. “I don’t want to do Hellboy 3. It’s a pain in the ass to put that makeup on and take it off. But I feel we’re obligated to finish the story. That’s it. End of conversation.”

At 65, Perlman has every right to groan at the thought of hours and hours of make-up being applied every morning.  He may not have to worry though as both Universal and Columbia have both passed on the project and the director of the first two films in the franchise Guillermo Del Toro has also stated finding financing for the film has been a challenge.

The Hellboy films are solid action flicks in my opinion.  I really enjoyed the action sequences and practicality of the effects in Hellboy 2 but found little joy elsewhere in the film (It should be noted that The Dark Knight came out around this same time and ruined all other movies for me for at least 87 weeks).  I, like Ron, could do without another film in the franchise but would most likely see it if hit the big screen so I can keep my geek card.  Aside from not being a huge fan of the franchise, I would like to see Del Toro tackle more original properties such as Pacific Rim and move forward with his career rather than revert back to what feels like an old fashioned franchise at this point.

I don’t even need to describe how popular it is to watch horror movies during this time of year, do I? You do it. Your friends do it. You probably do it with your friends. You might even do it with your parents if they’re cool. I need to work on phrasing, but especially in the Age of the Binge-Watch, Halloween movie marathons are a popular modern ritual.

Although it makes all the sense in the world to indulge in horror movies during the one month you’re pretty much obligated to, there’s no reason you can’t change things up a little bit. There exists countless horror-ish films that would be perfect for a Halloween binge-watch to throw in between A Nightmare on Elm Street and pretty much any Stanley Kubrick movie. From dark genre movies, visceral documentaries, to grim comedies, here’s a fun list of movies to select from if you don’t feel like watching the later Friday the 13th movies for the bazillionth time.

Also, I chose not to include some of the more obvious choices. The idea is to change things up a bit more. So no matter how much you love them, I have not included Van Helsing, nor American Psycho, or GhostbustersShaun of the Dead, Freddy vs. JasonThe Nightmare Before ChristmasZombieland, or even Hocus Pocus. You probably already watch Hocus Pocus anyway.

You don’t need to watch everything here. Take one or two to spruce up your Halloween marathon. You might be pleasantly surprised.

This is also by all means not a complete list. These are just suggestions.

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The Crow (1994, dir. Alex Proyas)

An amazing film was created for almost $15 million in 1994. $8 million was added for tragic reasons. On Devil’s Night in Detroit, rock star Eric Draven and his fiance Shelly are murdered. One year later, Eric rises from the grave for revenge.

Although kind of an obvious choice given its grim aesthetic, this film is largely undiscussed during Halloween, and that baffles me. It came at the right time: smack dab in the grungy 90’s, when comic books started overcompensating for their campy roots. The Crow is rightfully celebrated for being a weird, stylish gothic action film. Eric Draven is such a cool character, I mean just fucking look at him. It’s no wonder Sting modeled a look right after him in WCW (and has kept that look ever since). Have you ever listened to the soundtrack? Listen to it. It’s a great collection of grunge-gothic rock from the only decade that kind of music could ever exist.

Sadly, the film’s production was troubled; the death of its star, Brandon Lee, was killed under freaky circumstances during filming. It’s far more haunting when you consider his father, the legendary Bruce Lee, also passed away during production of The Game of DeathAlthough incredibly unfortunate, it has made this awesome, kick-ass movie otherworldly.

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Gojira (1954, dir. Ishiro Honda)

Casual filmgoers scoff at Godzilla movies. It’s the bad special effects and awful dubbing which relegate the films to the schlock B-movie category. Well if they ever do that to Gojira, those people are idiots and they can go fuck themselves. Gojira is superbly grim, and nothing like the silliness (and, let’s be honest, total awesomeness) that followed. Coming almost ten years after the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that ended World War II, Gojira remains a visual poem to the dangers of nuclear war. The attraction might be a gigantic lizard terrorizing Japan, but at its heart Gojira is very human, as the people who can stop the monster struggle with their own inner demons and ask questions no one is willing to answer. The black and white cinematography add to Godzilla’s mystique and his grotesque form is made stranger with the less you see. You can pick a later Godzilla movie and laugh and cheer at the G-man. You watch this one, however, and you’re terrified but awe-struck by his destructive elegance.

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13 Assassins (2010, dir. Takashi Miike)

One of the most thrilling samurai epics in recent film history, horror master Takashi Miike explores other genre territory but brings along the tools he knows best in 13 Assassins. A lord with unlimited power wreaks havoc at will, and so a gang of samurai band together to put an end to his madness. Although very much a samurai film, Miike’s signature gore and macabre visuals are in full display; vivid red blood pours out of a man’s belly from ritual suicide, a woman in ghostly white geisha make-up is left without limbs, a monster of a ruler target practices his archery against children. It may not be a horror film, but it can be pretty damn close. Watch for the climactic showdown. It’s a whopping 50 minutes.

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The Animatrix (2003, dir. various)

I love The Matrix. Even if Reloaded and Revolutions aren’t well-favored by most, its ambition and imagination still exceeds even some of the more revered films out there. I could put the entire trilogy on this list, but you’ve already seen them and you’re probably one of the many who hate the sequels. But I also don’t need to, because The Animatrix exists and believe it or not, it’s pretty fucking terrifying. This anthology brings together some of the biggest names in anime, and serves as a wonderful exercise on the auteur theory. Each short is wildly different from the next, and its scope is boundless despite being no more than maybe ten minutes each. My personal favorite is “A Detective Story” (pictured) but you absolutely need to watch “The Second Renaissance.” In fact, I’ll allow you to skip most of the film if you must (although you shouldn’t), but “The Second Renaissance” is mandatory viewing.

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Dredd (2012, dir. Pete Travis)

I liked Dredd but I didn’t love it. Still, as a throwback to super violent 80s/90s action movies (and a dash of sci-fi), with modern special effects, grungy locales, and an antagonist straight out of a prog-rock album, it’s worth watching. Especially on Halloween, if you find yourself tired of helpless teenagers, it will be refreshing to watch someone totally capable of kicking ass. I’m hoping for a sequel that far exceeds the quality of its predecessor, but until then, Dredd isn’t a bad choice.

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Room 237 (2012, dir. Rodney Ascher)

If The Shining isn’t a part of your Halloween marathon, you’re a complete failure. It truly is one of the best films, period, we’re not even talking horror. However, a fantastic companion piece is the documentary Room 237 that delves into some of the most bizarre critical theories about this wonderful, weird movie. Turn off the lights and turn up the volume. Some of the revelations — whether you agree or not — can be just as terrifying.

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Bunraku (2010, dir. Guy Mosche)

No one watched Bunraku. No one. Which is why you should at least check it out, especially this time of year. Costumes and intricate sets galore in this weird, all substance and no style, wacky mish-mosh of jidaigeki and westerns all made by a guy who played a lot of Nintendo growing up. The setting is a total novelty, a vaudeville romp with costumes you’d love to wear to a party. I don’t think it’s particularly good, but I love it. Woody Harrelson plays a mentor figure of sorts, and Ron Perlman plays the villain. You should be sold now.

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The Act of Killing (2013, dir. Joshua Oppenheimer)

Nothing is more terrifying than real people doing evil things. No amount of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krugers can match up to war criminals, corrupt dictators, serial killers, sex criminals, and racists. Enter The Act of Killing, the Oscar-nominated documentary on the 1965-1966 mass killings of suspected communists in Indonesia. 500,000 people were horrifically murdered for even remotely being associated with communism, and these acts and the people who committed them are celebrated in Indonesia today as something of a folk tale. Tons of people who worked on this movie withheld their identities for fear that they will be killed by these monsters who are still alive today. A powerful examination on the human condition and a surreal peek inside the mind of a mass murderer, it is an audacious work of filmmaking and far more paralyzing than any horror movie. Make this movie the last to watch for the day. If you’re still human, you don’t want to go on.

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Man of Tai Chi (2013, dir. Keanu Reeves)

Probably the least qualified to be on this list, Man of Tai Chi makes it because Keanu Reeves as a kung-fu villain is too good to pass up. Keanu Reeves’ directorial debut is one hell of a action film with excellent choreography and enough of a creepy, sterile setting that feels like it came from a totally different movie. Dramatic lighting, bad ass fights, and exotic locales makes this worth watching if you’re tired of cabins in woods.

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Detention (2010, dir. Joseph Kahn)

I’m kind of breaking my own rules here because Detention is technically a horror movie, but way, way, way more people need to see this kintetic teen rollick. A true groundbreaker in genre filmmaking, Detentions plot is kind of hard to sum up, but it involves a horror slasher come to life, high school, time travel, a bear, UFOs, and a super meta examination of modern teen movies. Joseph Kahn’s ADD-filled tribute to 90s culture is like Scott Pilgrim vs. The World for the click-bait crowd, but that crowd is a little too stupid to appreciate this awesome, kick-ass flick. And you’re not stupid, so watch Detention.

If there is ONLY one movie to take from this list, make it Detention.

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Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (2013, dir. Isaac Florentine)

Ninjas are a popular costume for people like that asshole Jake who is going out with your ex-girlfriend. So cleanse your palette and watch real ninjas like Scott Adkins and Kane Kosugi kick total ass that douchebags like Jake can’t because he’s a douchebag. Ninja: Shadow of a Tear gets bonus points because Scott gets his ninja costume FROM A GRAVE. So that’s kinda Halloween.

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Super (2010, dir. James Gunn)

James Gunn went from indie rock filmmaker to Super Bowl halftime after this year’s Guardians of the Galaxy, so if you’re unfamiliar with his work the time to check him out was six months ago. He has a more Halloween-appropriate comedy/horror flick in Slither but since the goal of this list is to branch out, Super is appropriate. It is strictly a superhero movie, but it contains such dark humor you’re left laughing uncomfortably. “You can’t walk anymore!” yells Ellen Page in a superhero costume to a criminal she crippled. When it’s not making you laugh, it can be just as dark as a Stanley Kubrick movie.

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Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993, dir. Eric Radomski and Bruce Timm)

Heads up: There are three Batman films on this list, but don’t worry: none of them are helmed by Christopher Nolan, or even Tim Burton (and Joel Schumacher). Originally planned as a direct-to-video release, it strangely got a total theatrical release and consequently bombed due to short notice. But who cares, because this is arguably one of the best Batman movies period. A strange vigilante has shown up taking out criminals and the police mistake him for Batman. Batman then tries to clear his name while finding out who is the strange new crime fighter. Dark, smart, and beautifully animated, it’s appropriate being the film coming from the best cartoons ever made.

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Batman (1966, dir. Leslie H. Martinson)

Because there really are some days you can’t get rid of a bomb. Here’s a tip: Don’t be a loser and watch The Dark Knight for the umpteenth time. The pro-Men’s Rights guy that you argue with on Facebook sometimes is watching The Dark Knight. Don’t be that guy. Indulge on the utter nonsense that was the 1966 Batman, arguably the best Batman we’ve ever had.

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Batman: Under the Red Hood  (2010, dir. Brandon Vietti)

Batman: Under the Red Hood just might be one of my favorite Batman movies. This tight, emotionally-wrenching animated film about Batman crossing paths with the Red Hood is super fitting for Halloween. While legendary Kevin Conroy does not voice the Dark Knight, Bruce Greenwood does an excellent job, as does the rest of the cast of this great piece of animation. John DiMaggio exceeds as the Joker, which is shocking because I never thought his deep, scruffy voice would ever fit the clown prince. Just look at that image above. You can tell you’re not in for your usual after-school cartoon.

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Dogma (1999, dir. Kevin Smith)

I’ll try to defend Kevin Smith as much as possible, but even I can only go so long. While Tusk and Red State may be actual horror movies, Dogma is the one with actual devils and supernatural beings. Two exiled angels attempt to re-enter heaven thanks to a holy loophole, and doing so can unmake the very fabric of reality. It’s got demonic shit monsters, evil hockey players, the thirteenth apostle, and a truckload of dick, weed, and fart jokes. Watch Dogma and indulge on irreverent comedy back when Smith made sense.

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Drive (2011, dir. Nicholas Winding Refln)

Drive was a festival darling when it first came out, and since then it has kind of lopsided in its relevancy. People just kind of stopped talking about it. It’s become something of a new Donnie Darko: a dark, gritty movie that seemed cool but is now almost something of a joke. I say almost because once in awhile, when the stars align right, you can still see the kick-ass B-movie, pseudo-horror action noir that everyone else saw that summer in 2011, and not the movie your jerk roommate won’t shut up about. The amazing 80s-centric techno soundtrack is a standout. “Nightcall” by Kavinsky could have opened an 80s horror movie.

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Masked Rider The First (2005, dir. Takao Nagaishi)

Even some hardcore genre film fans barely watch tokusatsu, so introduce yourself with this kind of bad, kind of awesome package of B-movie sci-fi/superhero with a touch of horror. Kamen Rider has been a staple of Japanese sci-fi for almost forty years, and this film reboots the jump-kicking grasshopper into a darker hero. There are much better Kamen Rider movies and shows to watch — Ryuki, Kabuto, W, Gaim — but I suspect there’s a chance most of you don’t even know what I’m talking about. So start with, appropriately titled, The First.

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Lo (2009, dir. Travis Betz)

Just look at that motherfucker. I’m once again breaking my rules because Lo is still considered kind of a horror movie, but it’s less that and more of an experimental film examining love and loss. Justin has lost his girlfriend, so he summons a demon and tasks him to find her in Hell. Lo is a total dick and a riot, and solid reason why you should watch this, at least if you’re stoned. It might be a little too out there for some people, and it can be eye-rollingly arthouse — some of it takes place on a stage — but there’s enough weirdness to make it a refreshing piece to any Halloween binge-watch.

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Following (1998, dir. Christopher Nolan)

When I think Christopher Nolan, I want to think the guy who made Inception and Memento. I hate thinking about the guy that made The Dark Knight Rises. I’m so stoked for Interstellar because Nolan is a masterful, visual storyteller who belongs in cinema, I just hate he had to waste a solid nine years doing Batman. Check out Following to see the sensei when he was a journeyman, and you’ll see he had talent all along. His first film is an claustrophobic noir thriller excellent for this time of year.

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Hellboy and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, or pretty much anything from Guillermo Del Toro (2004 and 2008, dir. Guillermo del Toro)

Ron Perlman plays the candy-bar eating, TV-watching demon who fights and investigates paranormal threats in service to a dedicated government agency. The film adaptations are smart, funny, imaginative, utterly strange, and everything you would want in a dark fantasy blockbuster. The creatures and set designs are signature del Toro, and while you could also watch his other work — The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth — it’s the Hellboy movies where you’ll have the most fun.

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Knights of Badassdom, (2013, dir. Joe Lynch)

Wikipedia classifies Knights of Badassdom as a comedy-horror, and while it’s not entirely wrong it’s definitely far more comedic than horror. In fact, I’d call it comedic dark fantasy. Best friends participate in a LARP (live-action role play, aka something I’m dying to do) and accidentally summon a succubus and it terrorizes the whole park. The production of the film had some trouble; filming started in 2010 but wasn’t officially released until 2013. It stars, among others, the now A-list Peter Dinklage, who has become a household name in Game of ThronesBut before that, the dude was drunkenly swinging rubber swords in what I think is a rather fun, pretty dumb little movie.

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Men in Black (1997, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld)

A lot of Will Smith movies are actually watchable on Halloween. I Am Legend stands out, and if I wanted to I’d say Independence Day but we all know when to watch that. But I often forget how good Men in Black is. The sequels have diminished the series, but the first film stands as a tight, fun, wacky sci-fi movie that totally gives the middle finger to paranoid conspiracy theorists who have always feared nameless government agents. The cockroach monster is remarkably terrifying in design.

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Mortal Kombat (1995, dir. Kevin Droney)

You’ve just heard the gong and now the music is playing in your head. Based on the video games that have freaking zombie ninjasMortal Kombat is probably one of the best film adaptations of a video game, period. While still reeking of B-movie mediocrity, its top-notch fight choreography, practical dark fantasy sets, and 90s camp make Mortal Kombat a total winner for Halloween marathons. It even includes a totally awesome fight scene with Reptile, who has nothing but a coding joke in the first game.

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Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue (2009, dir. Andrew Monument)

This gripping documentary traces the history and evolution of the American horror film as a genre and reflection of the cultural psyche. Tightly edited and chillingly narrated by Lance Henriksen (Admiral Hackett in Mass Effect), it’s an educating and entertaining college course condensed into ninety minutes.

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Oldboy (2003, dir. Park Chan-wook)

I don’t even know where to begin. Easily in my personal top five, this psychological thriller is a testament to what is possible in cinema. Five-star acting, expert directing and storytelling, haunting cinematography, and a hypnotic soundtrack, Oldboy is a great movie to watch any day of the week all-year long. If you haven’t seen this movie, you’re a failure, but you can redeem yourself if you watch it the one month where you’re allowed to see something fucked up. You won’t see the ending coming.

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Pacific Rim (2013, dir. Guillermo del Toro)

I already listed “anything by Guillermo del Toro,” but I need to single out Pacific Rim. I cannot talk about this movie enough. Legitimately one of the best and most imaginative sci-fi movies ever, the film acts as both a loving tribute to kaiju movies, tokusatsu, and anime, and as a flag-planter embarking on its own legacy. Featuring one the most beautiful, haunting, and utterly elegiac sequences in cinema — a child runs alone from the gigantic monster chasing her — is a poignant, truly scary picture of destruction and innocence. Also it’s wonderfully light and funny, a welcome feeling from the summer that brought us the stupidly dark Man of Steel. Pacific Rim is everything you want in a big blockbuster and why you should still go to the theaters. Gigantic kaiju monsters and robots are perfect on Halloween, and this is kaiju at its best. Anyone that looked at this movie, saw giant robots fighting, and scoffed at the notion can rightfully go fuck themselves. Those people lack imagination and should not be bothered with.

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Road to Perdition (2002, dir. Sam Mendes)

Breathtaking cinematography, top-notch directing, cool characters, and a gritty aesthetic make Road to Perdition far different than anything you can watch on Halloween. Tom Hanks plays an ex-mobster and father who seeks vengeance for the death of his family. The creepy assassin played by Jude Law is a woefully underrated movie villain.

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Soylent Green (1973, dir. Richard Fleischer)

The ending line to this dystopian sci-fi movie is one of the most iconic lines in movie history. And while it’s pretty much a spoiler, it’s still worth watching. You knew Darth Vader was Luke’s father anyway, and you still watched Star WarsSo check out Charlton Heston get freaked the fuck out over what soylent green actually is. It’s a horrific revelation — so, great for Halloween.

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Super 8 (2011, dir. J.J. Abrams)

I envy J.J. Abrams. That dude grew up watching Steven Spielberg and Star Wars and what is he doing now? Having movies produced by Steven f’n Spielberg and doing Star Wars 7Super 8 has been appropriately described as Cloverfield meets Stand By MeA group of kids making a movie in a small-town in 1979 America witness a dangerous entity unleashed from a train accident. It’s both sci-fi and coming-of-age, so check it out when you’re gorging on candy corns.

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Princess (2006, dir. Anders Morgenthaler)

A missionary comes home after his sister, a prominent adult films star, dies of drug abuse. With her 5-year-old daughter left behind, he adopts her and sets out on a vengeful quest to destroy all remaining pornographic materials of his departed sister. The animation — which given the premise, makes the juxtaposition that much stronger — is slightly low-quality, but the storytelling is gripping. Feel free to categorize this under “totally fucked up movies” to watch with bros. It truly is a totally fucked up movie, and on a subversive level not even The Human Centipede can match. Trust me.

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Throne of Blood (1957, dir. Akira Kurosawa)

Almost any film adaptation of Macbeth is fitting for Halloween. Witches and demons are everywhere, and on a meta-level the superstition of even naming the play has existed for centuries. Kurosawa’s adaptation of the Scottish play and morphing it into feudal Japan is a haunting, terrifying ride of using evil to rise to power. Toshiro Mifune is always a treat to watch — the man was almost Obi-Wan — and to watch him totally get fucked up is a cinematic thrill. Lady Asaji Washizu — aka Lady Macbeth, portrayed by Isuzu Yamada — has one of the eeriest scenes ever filmed.

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V For Vendetta (2006, dir. James McTeigue)

The use of the Guy Fawkes mask as a symbol of millennial, post-9/11 rebellion never ceases to amaze me. I’m excited to read the eventual, inevitable book about the phenomenon. But regardless of your feelings of Anonymous, V For Vendetta remains a powerful piece of dark dystopia with one of the most enigmatic characters ever in fiction. I actually liked the changes made to V in the film, seeing him goof off and cook eggs makes an excellent, fun character. Still rather smart after all these years, its grim and stylish swagger makes V For Vendetta a refreshing Halloween marathon movie. Be honest: If you see V show up in your home, you’d shit your pants.

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Watchmen (2009, dir. Zack Snyder)

One day I’ll live in a world where Watchmen is a far more appreciated film than it is right now. But today is not that day. It is still the best film adaptation we could have ever gotten, and it’s an achievement it even exists. The origin of Doctor Manhattan remains one of the most beautifully-shot and chilling sequences in modern filmmaking today. If you can, watch the Ultimate Cut; it is combined with the animated horror short, Tales of the Black Freighter, which solidifies Watchmen a worthy entry into any Halloween binge. Just make it the last one, the Ultimate Cut is almost four hours long.

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Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown (2009, dir. Frank H. Woodward)

H.P. Lovecraft is horror. His influences knows no bounds. From Guillermo del Toro to Neil Gaiman to even freaking Pirates of the Caribbean, the man established so much of what we know as horror today. This appropriately eerie documentary on the man himself is chilling, haunting, and incredibly informative.

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Rear Window (1954, dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

Alfred Hitchcock rightfully holds the championship title of the “Master of Suspense.” Plenty of his movies set the bar for what we consider horror today, even if the majority of his films more correctly can be considered suspense thrillers. Yet movies like Psycho and The Birds have influenced generations of horror filmmakers, and no one could teach this kung-fu better than ol’ Al. For this year’s Halloween, if you haven’t already, check out one suspense thriller that is just two steps away from being proper horror: the classic Rear WindowThe showdown with the film’s antagonist — a true son of a bitch that could have been a horror movie slasher in a parallel universe — is shot and edited wonderfully that is as terrifying as any top-tier slasher. Any horror fan can watch PsychoTrue horror fans will see the terror in Rear Window

Know of any other non-horror horror movies to watch? Comment below! I’m sure I left out a couple dozen.

At LBCC I got a chance to talk to one of my favorite creators… Mike Mignola of Hellboy and B.P.R.D. fame. In this short conversation, we talk about the death of Hellboy, if he’ll return and the evolution of the B.P.R.D. (one of my favorite regular comics). We also talk about the future of Baltimore, one of Mike’s collaborations, and one of my favorite regular miniseries. I can’t recommend it enough for fans of gothic horror and giant monsters!

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If you thought he was dead…you were wrong obviously. Hellboy will be returning later this year with a new  series.This series will run for four issues and is only the first in a line of Hellboy in Hell stories. The first issue is set to hit shelves December 5th of this year.

So, I spotted this story and thought it’d be something really cool to share with you all. This is a really touching story involving Ron Perlman himself once again dressing up as Hellboy to make a young boys wish come true. Zachary is six, and is currently being treated for leukemia and Ron went above and beyond to make this wish a reality.

In the past three weeks, Spectral Motion has been honored to host two wonderful Make-A-Wish children, Caleb and Zachary. Zachary loved his visit for two very special reasons. It was Zachary’s wish to meet Hellboy and also to become Hellboy. When the Make-A-Wish Foundation contacted Spectral Motion with this request, Mike thought it would be fantastic to have Ron Perlman reprise his role for the day. Ron loved the idea and donned the makeup once more (with the assistance of Lufeng Qu and Eden Elizalde) and also ordered a Hellboy sized meal of burgers, shakes, and fries for Zachary and his family and the entire Spectral crew to enjoy. Later in the day, Zachary was transformed into Hellboy with the assistance of makeup artists Lufeng Qu and Neil Winn. Both of the Make-A-Wish days were a complete thrill for the families of the children, as well as for the crew at Spectral Motion!

Source: Spectral Motion, THR

Doug Jones, maybe the nicest guest we’ve ever had, is back on Geekscape! Doug talks about his new book “Mime Very Own Book”, his roles in the upcoming releases John Dies at the End and Neighborhood Watch and working with actors like Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. He also shares his love for all things Abe Sapien and how he felt having his performance as the Silver Surfer ADR’ed. Also, what did Doug, a mime and often silent actor, think of “The Artist”? Also, Jonathan explains why “The Grey” is the funniest movie of the year and tells you why you should be reading B.P.R.D.!

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Looking around, it’s astonishing how many TV shows, movies and comics are based on the premise of the Paranormal Investigator. You know the type of show I mean. A cop, or a team of cops, use everyday police work or private investigative techniques to track down a magical beast, monster or space alien. Our world, these shows seem to imply, is ust more vast than you think, and all the beasts and aliens and monsters you’ve heard about in stories are real. Not only are they real, but there’s a complicated series of hidden laws to keep such monsters in check and out of the public eye. This premise has three things we all love. 1) Detectives. 2) Monsters. 3) Vast conspiracy theories to keep ordinary people in the dark.

These kinds of shows also imply that you, I, or anyone could potentially leave their humdrum life, and actually apply for a job as a paranormal investigator. Sure, a lot of the cops in the following list are grizzled, emotionally injured, are simply burnt out on their jobs, but the allure of the rough-hewn monster fighter… well, I’d rather be one of those than the lord of zombie wasteland.

In honor of this kind of show/book/movie/real-life entity, I have compiled the following list of 10 of the best paranormal investigators throughout popular culture. Let’s get paranoid, ready our ghost traps, out silver bullets, our wooden stakes, and our anti-UFO electroguns, and take a stroll through the hidden world of monsters and the cops who arrest them.

10) DYLAN DOG

from “Dylan Dog” comics (1986 – present)

DD

A cult icon if ever their was one, “Dylan Dog” is an obscure Italian supernatural comic from the 1980s. This is the kind of comic that only the most hardcore of comic book fans read. Y’know. The kind who were on the ground floor for bizarro titles like “The Swamp Thing” or “Cerebus.” Dylan Dog is a London-bound ex-cop who now works as a poverty-stricken private investigator to the supernatural world. The myth in this universe is familiar: vampires, zombies and wolf men are all on the loose, and behave like rival gangs. It’s up to a living human being like Mr. Dog to moderate disputes, and make sure none of the monsters are being too public in their stalk-and-kill activities.

Also true to form, Dylan Dog is a wounded human being, trying to live down the memory of a loved one. I know the loss of a loved one can be devastating, but surely it;’s not a surefire way to turn into an embittered alcoholic loner. Dylan also has a goofy sidekick in the form of Groucho Marx. Well, I’m not sure if it’s actually Groucho Marx, or just someone who looks like him. But, seriously, dude. Groucho Marx.

In 2011, a film version of “Dylan Dog” was made in America. It was called “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night,” and it starred the handsome Brandon Routh in the title role. The film transposed the action to New Orleans, and changed a lot of the comics’ premises. Groucho was replaced by a tired pageboy who found himself turned into a zombie. I thought the film was kind of fun, in a silly sort of way, but I know I remain in the minority on that.

9) THE BUREAU FOR PARANORMAL RESEARCH AND DEFENSE

from “Hellboy” comics (1993 – present)

HBoy

Hellboy is a demon being, birthed by a witch, who was accidentally displaced onto Earth early in life. These days, he has tried to integrate himself in with humans, even though he’s eight feet tall, has giant shorn-down horns on his head, a giant stone hand, and a tail. When you’re a demon being who looks like a monster, I guess the only real job you can get is fighting other demons and monsters alongside a who team of paranormal investigators.

The team is the usual motley crew of characters. There’s the usual retinue of oddball humans, but there’s also a half fish man, a spirit held captive in an encounter suit, and a large homunculus. I see how a fishman could end up on such a team, but I wonder about the origins of the ordinary humans. What sort of life did they lead that they came upon the monsters as part of their everyday interests. Does this mean when I flip through my old Time/Life book about UFOs that I’m really preparing for the coolest job ever? I sure hope so.

In 2004, there was a rather famous feature film adaptation of “Hellboy” starring Ron Perlman in the title role. Hellboy’s origin changed, but director Guillermo Del Toro fought the studios tooth and nail to keep Hellboy looking the same as in the comics, so he’s still bright red, still has the tail, and still bears the big ol’ horns. For a goofy-ass comic book demon-hunting film “Hellboy” is kind of excellent.

8) FRANK BANNISTER

from “The Frighteners” (1996)

Frank

Frank Bannister can see ghosts. Ever since he witnessed the death of his wife a few years ago, he’s been able to communicate with the dead. Certain ghosts, you see, don’t bother to pass onto the other side when they die, and remain around us, haunting us in small ways. Frank not only talks to ghosts, but has (somehow) convinced a few dead compatriots to haunt local houses, just so Frank can come in and exorcize them for a hefty fee. It seems to me that if you could communicate with the dead, the last thing you’d think to do is to run a scam. You wouldn’t need to. You still have ghosts. But whatever.

Peter Jackson’s 1996 film is a train wreck. The pacing is chaotic, the premise is scattered, and the ultimate story is hard to follow. But I love it. I watched “The Frighteners” in college countless times. For some reason, it became one of my standby films for about two years, and would watch it in between classes. It’s most certainly a guilty pleasure of mine. I think a lot of the appeal comes from Danny Elfman’s spooky score, and the presence of Jeffrey Combs (as the skittish rival paranormal investigator FBI agent) in full-tilt wacko mode.

Peter Jackson made some of the best cult movies of the cult circuit back in the early 1990s, all of which were rife with awesome practical effects. “The Frighteners” marks his first plunge into the world of CGI, and it kind of shows. Most every effect is made with computers, and Jackson is trying out stuff for the first time. A large part of me misses the practical cult film auteur. Well, success to him anyway.

7) DR. LESH, RYAN, MARTY AND TANGINA BARRONS

from: “Poltergeist” (1982)

Zelda

I’ve written in the pages of Geekscape before about how THAT FUCKING CLOWN from Tobe Hooper’s 1982 film “Poltergeist” ruined hundreds and hundreds of childhoods. Here was a PG-rated film that kid were taken to see, that featured a guy tearing his face off, a tree eating a boy, a swim with zombie skeletons, a few monster creatures, and a killer clown doll. Good job, Tobe. Good job, Spielberg. Your film warped our brains forever.

I remember seeing the film as a kid. I think I was about 8 years old. I remember seeing the scenes with the poltergeists and the weird groaning noises and the eerie living TV set, and thinking that the world was all chaos. Luckily for me, to maintain some semblance of order, a group of paranormal investigators from UC Irvine were called in to make sense of things. It turns out they didn’t know how to directly eliminate the ghosts, but they were more prepared. I felt safe for a bit. Well, until that one guy tore his face off.

And then there’s Tangina Barrons played by diminutive actress Zelda Rubenstein, who is, when looked at in a certain way, one of the more iconic horror movie symbols of a generation. Her little voice and wise words set the template for many future psychics. Ever notice how movie psychics are never large tough men? We can thank Zelda Rubenstein for that.

6) DEAN and SAM WINCHESTER

from: “Supernatural” (2005 – 2009)

Supernatural

I like these guys because they’re not so much cops or private investigators as they are mere interested parties. As tradition dictates, they are both wounded and derelict PI-types who have been burned by monsters in the past (they lost their mom to a demon), and are now wandering the country looking for bad guys to destroy, and ultimately to find the secret of their mom’s death.

Dean and Sam are filthy meatheads. They wear leather jackets, aren’t very bright, and listen to nothing but gutbucket heavy metal. In addition to being thick0skinned, these guys are thick-skulled. Luckily for them (and for the audience) they’re also funny and compelling guys, whose experience in the face of monsters and ghosts translates as a work ethic. So long as they’re willing to work hard to accomplish a goal, I’ll be interested. What’s more, the two were very self-aware; they would often comment on how horrific or ridiculous their plight was. They may not have had much brains, but they at least has street smarts. Provided those streets had demons in ’em.

I have seen precious few episodes of the show, but I certainly should be watching more. The show has a powerful, powerful cult in the world, and the “Supernatural” panels at Comic Con tend to fetch hundreds of fans. The series has even been translated into a Japanese-style manga. How is it?

5) JOHN CONSTATINE

from various Vertigo comics (1985 – present)

John

 

This guy has cropped up everywhere. Based on the look of Sting in “Quadrophenia,” John Constantine was a sorcerer who had sort of dipped from high magic into a low world of cigarettes, fast cars, and desperate needs to pay rent. He is embittered, cynical, and, in true Hume-ian fashion, has little regard for the institutions of Heaven and Hell. Rather than follow a faith run by a domineering God or a churlish Satan, John chooses to help out humans caught in between. Well, only when it helps him. He’s not really a hero. He’s a lover of physical pleasure, is bisexual (yes!), and smoke very heavily.

John Constantine has appeared most frequently in his comic book series called “Hellblazer” (originally supposed to be called “Hellraiser,” until Clive Barker threatened to sue) which started in 1989. It, like some other comics, does seem to touch briefly on the world of the DC superhero canon, but mostly remains in its own paranormal universe, where John does battle with ghosts and demons, all while uncovering mysteries, and having open dialogues with God and Satan. It’s one of those comics that, when you’re 14 years old, feels hugely illicit (as it contain swear words, questions of religion, and nudity). I noticed that a lot of kids who read “Hellblazer” also read “Heavy Metal” and “Fangoria.”

In 2005, a feature film called “Constantine” was made, and featured Keanu Reeves as the title character. Some premises from the comic were kept in tact. The film was slick and kind of fun, but ultimately dismissable. It certainly didn’t contain any of the hard-edged weirdness from the comics, although I liked Tilda Swinton as Gabriel, and Peter Stormare as Lucifer.

4) THE S.C.S.P.R.

From real life, yo.

SCSPR

Wait. These guy aren’t from a comic. These guys are real. You’d be surprised how many real-life paranormal researchers there are out there. I encourage them. I have faith that someday we’ll find a way to scientifically document a ghost. Then where will we be? Visit their website here. http://www.scspr.org/

3) THE DARKHOLD REDEEMERS

From: “Darkhold: Pages from the Book of Sins” (1992, 93)

Darkhold

So we’ve had two “Ghost Rider” movies, a “Daredevil” movie and three “Blade” movies. You can count “The Punisher” in there if you like. All we need is a “Morbius” feature film and a “Darkhold” feature film, and we can have an “Avengers”-like movie mashup of Marvel’s Midnight Sons. Who;s with me on this? Anyone? Anyone who was a comics-reading proto-Goth in the early 1990s? Am I the only one?

So dig this: There is an evil book in the world, containing spells of sin and indulgence. It is written in an unknown language that is so powerfully written, anyone can read it. An evil dwarf has been appearing to people, and handing them single pages of this book, called The Darkhold, which causes them to transform or become monsters or unleash demons or simple make them commit suicide. Spooky. Trying to track down all the pages of The Darkhold is a psychic, a Wiccan, and an ex-FBI agent. This is an excellent premise for a film or TV show. How this title has not yet been tapped is beyond me.

In the Marvel universe, The Darkhold has a long and rich history of doing evil. It’s been said that The Darkhold, penned by an Elder God, is responsible for making the first vampire, the first werewolf, Morgan le Fay, and even played a role in the Marvel Zombies universe. Here is a book of sin which essentially acts as Pandora’s box. It unleashes sin into the world. A literal struggle against evil. And we have a trio of Gothy investigators on its tail.

2) AGT. FOX MULDER and AGT. DANA SCULLY

From: “The X-Files” (1993 – 2002)

Fox and Dana

Fox Mulder is a loose cannon who has scared his superiors. To contain is paranoid personality, he has been put in charge of the FBI’s files of dubious veracity. The bigfoots, the aliens, the monsters which are all filed under the letter “X” in the FBI vault. Fox Mulder is handsome and charming, but still has the nickname of “spooky” for his, shall we say, outre interests. He’s also a porn addict. He’s also been wounded by aliens in the past, as they once kidnapped his little sister. Joining Mulder is a neophyte doctor in the FBI Dana Scully, who is 100% skeptical of everything Mulder says. In an interesting theological flip, it’s Mulder who doesn’t believe in God, and Scully who is a devout Catholic.

The X-Files” was more popular than we remember. I have many happy memories of stalking through the X-Files with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson one a weekly basis for several years. Going back and watching the show, you find that the post Cold War stuff doesn’t really hold up, and a lot of the paranoia feels very much of its time. But in terms of quality, the show is amazing, and the monster-of-the-week approach is still a great way to make a series. The truth is out there. And we need to do battle with black oil, wicked alien assassins, vampires and El Chupacabras until we find it.

There were two feature films spun off of “The X-Files,” and since the series was so very focused on canon, you need to have seen the show to really get what was going on in the films. The idea of “The X-files” canon was actually not considered by the shows’ creator until Gillian Anderson had to leave temporarily due to a pregnancy. Scully was subsequently abducted by aliens, and the gigantic story arc was begun. I always liked the monster-of-the-week episodes better, though.

1) CARL KOLCHAK

From: “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” (1974, ’75)

Kolchak

Carl Kolchak, in terms of pop culture paranormal investigators, preceded them all. As played by Darren McGavin in the 1970s TV movies, and later a short-lived series, Kolchak was a Chicago-based newspaper reporter whose investigative acumen was such that he was able to uncover the existence of monsters in his hometown. Like Mulder after him, Kolchak simply had an interest in the bizarre and the supernatural, and bothered to do his homework. As I said: It’s nice to know that a healthy interest in weird-ass crap can get you involved in the real thing someday.

Kolchak was flip and casual, and seemed to accept the weirdness around him with a great amount of casual aplomb. Luckily for Kolchak, he has an editor who was willing to entertain Kolchak’s investigative habits in the form of Tony, a heard-breathing barrel-shaped guy. Gotta love those beefy 1970s physiques.

Kolchak earnes the number one spot on this list for his sheer precedent. All the paranormal investigator comics, books, movies and TV shows of the modern age all seem to point back to Kolchak. He was “The X-Files.” He was “Ghostbusters.” Kolchak is a lynchpin of pop culture. Pay some attention.

Witney Seibold is living in… oh no… OH NO… A VAMPIRE!

*hurk

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