This morning, 2K announced that The Kingslayer himself, Seth Rollins, will be the cover athlete for WWE 2K18. As the first full time performer to grace the cover in three years, Rollins joins the likes of John Cena, CM Punk, The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin as the featured star for the annual wrestling simulation game.

Seth is appropriate pick considering how the rising star had the biggest win of his career earlier this year when he defeated Triple H with one leg at this year’s Wrestlemania. Following the slogan “Be Like No One”, the former Architect of The Shield takes things a little too far, deciding to destroy some legendary memorabilia. Because that’s what you do when you make the cover of a video game.

Eagle eyed wrestling fans can spot plenty of easter eggs as they get smashed to pieces by the masked Rollins. From Ric Flair’s robe to The Undertaker’s gear that he left behind at his retirement, nothing is sacred when you want to sell a game. But why did you have to smash Brutus Beefcake’s scissors? It’s not like he has much of his glory days to hold onto lately. There wasn’t a barber shop window that Seth could have fled through instead?

While we don’t get to see any game play, we do know when and how we’ll be playing it. Releasing on PS4 and Xbox One on October 17, the game will be released with three different versions. The Standard Edition, the Deluxe Edition, which will give players four days of early access, and the Collector’s Edition, which will include everything the Deluxe Edition contains, plus physical rewards that will be revealed at a later date. Past versions had some pretty great stuff, so fans might want to jump on the preorder button once the announcement is made.

Watch the trailer below and tell us what other artifacts of wrestling’s past you can spot. Are you planning on picking up this year’s iteration? And what do you think of Rollins on the cover? Let us know in the comments!

We’re like two months into this brand split and I’m already feeling drained by having a pay-per-view every two weeks, but here we are. This time it’s the Raw solo pay-per-view. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I have a feeling in September Smackdown is gonna have the better Pay-Per-View.

Since I have nothing to say here’s a disclaimer from Molly:
You know you’re training to be a professional wrestler when you spend your breaks at your minimum wage retail job writing a fantasy booking column on the back of the hand out you got in the ER when you broke your ankle trying to resorte out of a headscissors chinlock! No, I don’t know why paperwork from 9 months ago was still in my purse. Yes, I really did all of that.

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Match #1: Alicia Fox Vs. Nia Jax (Pre-Show Match)

NIA JAX: She is a large, bad-ass and beautiful murder machine who has crushed every local talent WWE has thrown at her and is now ready to take out some established roster members.

ALICIA FOX: There’s been a real lacking of Fox on WWE TV lately but when she is on TV she’s always flipping a shit and it’s always entertaining

WHO WINS:
Matt: Nia Jax is definitely winning this the only question is how quickly is she winning this? There has never been a more fitting Pre-Show Match. A quick no stakes match is perfect pre-show fodder. Way better than when the tag belts or titular survivor series matches are the pre-show events. Alicia Fox is a good wrestler who’s great at playing crazy but let’s be serious here… you don’t build Nia with a series of Squash matches for Alicia Fox to take her out.

Molly: Nia Jax with Muscle buster off the top rope… What, she’s only 2 inches shorter and 10 lbs lighter than Samoa Joe anyway!

Josh: Nia’s too early into her run to lose to a lower card performer like Alicia, no matter how much I love her. Foxy doesn’t have a chance. By the way, I just learned that a group of foxes is called “a leash.” That facepalm was about a decade in the making…

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Nia is going to continue to dominate. She’s going to crush everyone who comes in her path… until Auska gets called up to the main roster in time for Nia Jax vs. Auska to be a Wrestlemania worthy event. I feel like I saw it in NXT once before (I really can’t remember) but even if I did… that was a different less confident Nia. Main Roster Nia has been dope and I hope she continues to be dope for a long time. Also she should be in the Royal Rumble.

Molly:  I hope this match turns out to be better than the crowd expects; better than your average pre-show match. Because honestly, Alicia Fox has impressed me the few times I’ve seen her wrestle recently. Specifically in a house show match I saw live between her and Natalya back in July. Alicia can go, but she’s still considered a ‘total diva’. She’s a great stepping stone for Nia to prove that she’s still a human wrecking ball when her opponent is getting in offense. I wanna see more TV time for Alicia where she’s wrestling and not dress shopping with Paige. Maybe getting involved in the title hunt so the crowd doesn’t get tired of the same 3 horsewomen all the time. But really, if you’re sick of the horsewomen, who the fuck are you. And I hope this starts Nia working her way up with matches longer than a minute. I wasn’t convinced when she was drafted from NXT because I really don’t think Nia has hit her stride and found her comfort zone yet. The longer matches with more experienced opponents unafraid of her throwing them across the ring will only benefit her. If you want her to squash opponents, let her start squashing some lower tier dudes. I might even try to get some hotter heel heat on her by booking her in mixed tag matches with her cousin, Roman Reigns (I’m positive every Samoan is related at this point). Once in a while my quest to book Nia Jax as this generation’s Chyna takes precedence over my need for a sorta-Shield reunion.

Josh: Fox will fade back into obscurity while Nia continues her climb to eventually become a championship contender. If she’s healthy, I can see Paige being her next feud. If not, Fox will probably continue the feud for an extra month.

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Match #2: T.J. Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick (For the Cruiserweight Title)

T.J. PERKINS: Just won the CWC and got a trophy almost as tall as half the people in the CWC. He loves to Dab.

BRIAN KENDRICK: Was one-half of one of the longest reigning tag-teams in WWE history (with Geekscape family member Paul London). He looks like the bassist of the Lone Rangers.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I really wish it was going to be Kendrick because he was so fucking amazing in the CWC but it will be T.J. Perkins. The man hasn’t even appeared on the main roster yet. There’s no way he’s losing his debut match.

Molly: TJ Perkins. If there is any logical way for Perkins to flip out of Kendrick attempting another burning hammer and turning it into the knee bar then I need to see it happen.

Josh: TJ is winning, and there’s no doubt in my mind about it. Kendrick was picked as the contender because he’s a reliable guy that the fans recognize, and who better to put over the new champion as a threat while being able to take his move set?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Perkins will continue to be champ for a while until Cedric Alexander wins it and becomes the dude everyone talks about for the rest of his life. Meanwhile Kendrick is going to have an awesome run as the aged angry heel that will cheat to stay on top. I am DREAMING of when I get to see him and Jack Gallaher have a match because if CWC taught me anything… those dudes can tell amazing stories with no words and I want to see that story telling mix as soon as humanly possible.

Molly: Last year, if you had told me that TJ Perkins (who I first encountered as Suicide in TNA) and The Brian Kendrick were having a WWE pay per view match for a cruiserweight title in the year of our lord 2016, I would’ve asked how you got in my house before back-handing you into the fucking sun. I am ecstatic that this is happening, and I wanna see both these dudes built into the heavyweights of the cruiserweights.

Perkins just won the Cruiserweight Classic. It would be a pretty huge dick move to undo what he’s worked towards all summer (on top of an 18 year indy career that involved a lot of getting shit on) to put the belt on Kendrick after one match. Though it is most definitely a move I could see WWE pulling. Kendrick’s redemption story is fantastic, especially while he’s still playing the heel fans initially loved him as, and it needs to go as long as possible. Now that the CWC is over, wrestlers previously uncategorizable as good/bad have to start taking a side. I hope this gives us a Kendrick that we want to root for even though he can’t give up his old ways and is still an asshole in-ring. And a Perkins that is such a flashy, glittery, show off of a heel that he literally blinds us when he dabs and we still clap for him while bleeding out the eyes.

Josh: Since the division is still kind of a husk at the moment, it’s hard to make any concrete observations. TJ will definitely carry the title for a good amount of time, but with no characters associated with these acts at the moment, we’re veering towards the division becoming a series of meaningless matches. If I were to pick however, I would make Swan or Cedric the next contender, just to continue to highlight the better workers.

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Match #3: Cesaro vs. Sheamus (Final Part of the Best Out of 7 Series for a Title Shot)

CESARO: The man speaks multiple languages, tailors his own tear away suits and is so bad ass that it’s not unreasonable to consider him the reason that girl you like won’t date you.

SHEAMUS: He played a CGI Rhino in a movie out on DVD this week.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Cesaro has to win this right? Like… we can’t give it to Sheamus… if we give it to Sheamus than what the fuck was this all about to begin with? I’m heavily leaning towards Cesaro but if Sheamus wins… I won’t be shocked. Cesaro. Final Answer Regis.

Molly: Sheamus via some shit that proves Sheamus is a strong main event presence despite Cesaro being the crowd favorite

Josh: It all depends what the vague promise of a “championship opportunity” means. If it’s for the Universal Title, Cesaro will pull off the four match streak and become Kevin’s new contender. If it’s for the U.S. Title… I still say Cesaro, because seeing him fight Rusev would be much better than Sheamus vs. Reigns for the tenth time in a year. Queue the sirens, Cesaro is taking this!

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: I’m as confused as to the future of these two as I am who is gonna win. Sheamus just continues to be irrelevant in wrestling world and Cesaro is so under utilized… but if I’m going to fantasy book this one I think Cesaro is next to try to take down Owens. I don’t think he succeeds but he puts in a good series of matches. He then chases mid-card gold and (if Reigns doesn’t do it already) becomes the man to beat Rusev for the U.S. Title.

Molly: Because I need Cesaro to be furious and go on a tear after this series, regardless of who deserves what. “You make me waste my time and talents in a feud going nowhere that no one cares about, and because I lose, that undoes everything I’ve accomplished? Hell no,” Cesaro screams at Jojo. I need Cesaro so enraged that when Survivor Series hits, he doesn’t get tagged in until the very end out of spite from his teammates, and when he finally does, he annihilates the other team, eliminating the majority of them and scaring the shit out of everyone else. There’s a lot of talk amongst wrestling fans over who is most ‘deserving’ of pushes. Fans like Cesaro cause he’s a great worker, not cause he’s heel or face. It’s a mindset that, while very respectful to the talent, makes it difficult to suspend disbelief when watching a wrestling show anymore. The best way to further blur the lines and do kayfabe in 2016 is to have Cesaro disregard all of the compliments from fans and criticisms from those in charge and have him just wreck house. Running in on matches, getting disqualified for excessive violence and the like, while Sheamus is like “that fella’s a bleeding nutcase and almost murdered me, it was not worth winning the series.”

Josh: Like Sami, Cesaro’s character arc is currently around his frustration over being stagnant. In Cesaro’s case however, it’s been much more at the forefront. He gets screwed against the Universal Championship, loses that shot, and turns heel out of frustration. Either that, or he gets traded to Smackdown somehow, but seeing as the only apparent way to switch shows is to lose to Jinder Mahal, I’m not expecting that anytime soon.

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Match #4: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns (for U.S. Title)

RUSEV: Remember Rocky 4? He’s basically Drago from Rocky 4.

ROMAN REIGNS: Remember The Rock? He’s related to him. WWE thinks that means we’ll love him. They’re wrong.

WHO WINS:
Matt: This is another one I’m torn on. Reigns as U.S. Champion I could live with but I think Rusev is just killing it right now and the time isn’t right. Rusev should remain champion tonight but I’m very accepting to being wrong. Plus if Reigns has the U.S. Title at least he’s no longer a guest on the Kevin Owens show for a while.

Molly: Roman Reigns. How? Fuck if I care!

Josh: As much as I hate to say it since Rusev is my favorite guy on the roster, Roman has to win here. He’s still the company’s golden boy, and after eating a series of big losses, it’ll be time for the Big Dog to build his momentum back up. Plus, it would give him a reason to stay out of the main title picture until they’re ready to resume the Roman Reigns experiment.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Rusev is going to continue to crush until Cesaro wrecks him and the entire globe rejoices. Meanwhile Reigns will basically get booed out of every building until he’s turned heel and suddenly everyone loves him because wrestling fans don’t care how good of a wrestler you are… they just care about their opinion being heard.

Molly: I want to care. I really do. But following the misogyny of ‘fighting for Lana’s honor’ and whatever mess that finish was at Summerslam, it’s really hard to care. Rusev’s reign isn’t going anywhere in this feud with Roman because of the tug-of-war going on between fans and writers over Roman’s likability. Best thing is to get Rusev out of it entirely and shake off the terrible storylines he keeps getting put in. He’s a great monster heel; let him be the stone wall Cesaro hits in his rampage. As for Roman, you know what fans liked him doing? Being the silent big dude in the Shield. You know who could use some help now that the Authority hates him? Fellow former Shield member, Seth Rollins. I wanna see them team up again. Seth tries to get Roman to trust him again while Roman’s always positive Seth is just after a title to prove he has worth even if he can’t beat Owens. Plus there are no 2 people on the RAW roster who both hate the Authority more at this point, and Seth could use a heater in his corner.

Josh: A rematch followed by a directionless Rusev. Fortunately, the Rumble will be a few short months away, which is when many of the upper midcard guys get a soft reset as the big matches shape up. Roman will feud with a top level guy like Jericho before finally losing the belt in a way that makes him look strong, before stepping back onto the top of the card.

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Match #5 Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho (For the enjoyment of seeing two masters go at it)

SAMI ZAYN: If Ska music could be personified it’d be Sami Zayn. With no evidence what-so-ever I’m confident he donated to Five Iron Frenzy’s Kickstarter 5 years ago.

CHRIS JERICHO: Depending on your age he was either your favorite wrestler as a kid… or your dad’s favorite wrestler when he was a kid.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I actually didn’t realize how unsure I am about these matches until working on this write-up. That actually makes me a little excited about this pay-per-view. The fan in me wants to say Sami Zayn wins this … but the fan in me also knows Zayn is best when he ALMOST wins but loses to Jericho.

Molly: Christ Jericho (these are not typos, I know what I wrote, Jericho is God) Does anyone tap to the Walls of Jericho anymore? Have Sami tap and hate himself for it. Have him tap to the lion tamer so I can go from really stoked cause I love that hold to really sad cause Sami lost.

Josh: The running theme seems to be that Sami is directionless. Knowing this, I’m guessing Jericho pulls off the win, further frustrating Sami as his former best friend carries on as champion while he can’t beat the new best friend.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: We’re taking our precious time getting there but I think this is the point that breaks Kevin Owens. Sami Zayn won the “final match” against Owens. I feel like Jericho is going to be too excited about beating Zayn which will cause Owens to eventually turn on Jericho. Let’s be honest here Fozzy has a new album and tour in 2017… they gotta write him off somehow… how about a Pop-Up Powerbomb. Then Sami needs to chase down Owens again and be the one to beat him for the Universal Title, possibly at Royal Rumble but ideally Wrestlemania main event.

Molly: Sami Zayn is “The Man of 1000 Incredible Losses” and he’s in a stride I love right now. Gets a few wins to prove he really is good, but mostly loses when the pressure’s on because screwing up when under stress is a relatable, human thing to do. Unlike Cesaro, who I may or may not want to neutralize me straight into the abyss and out of this wrestling-induced stress-coma I’m writing myself into, I want Sami to be the Bayley of the men’s division. Really talk up his unbreakable will and have him on TV every week so my great aunt can keep texting me “that Sami Zayn’s a very nice boy with a sick tornado DDT”. I want Neville built in a feud with Owens so after Sami loses valiantly in a feud with Rollins, Neville and Sami can rehash a bit of their BRILLIANT NXT feud. Where they’re friends who don’t want to hate each other, but keep getting in one another’s way and making it mad difficult to play nice. As for Jericho, there is nothing I would change about this incredible high he’s on. Keep building the fresh faces while giving us the gift of Jericho. I’m thirsty anyway.

Josh: The WWE loves to break popular guys down, only to (possibly), build them back up down the road. Keeping both him and Owens on the same show certainly means they’ll eventually redeem him by having him go over Kevin again. Whether or not its for the title is yet to be seen, but you can’t keep these guys apart for long.

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Match #6 Charlotte Vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley (Triple Threat for Raw Women’s Title)

CHARLOTTE: Ric Flair’s Daughter, but she doesn’t like being associated with him, unless she’s reminding you that she’s made of his 16-time Champion Sperm. Spends her free time mocking her “friend” Dana Brooke who is a body builder who has no self respect.

SASHA BANKS: Possibly the best wrestler in WWE today (that’s including men), she’s dope AF. I don’t even have any jokes, she’s amazing, that’s all you need to know.

BAYLEY: Bayley is the wrestling fan in all-of-us. If you had to draw a person to represent the phrase “I’m just happy to be here” it’d be Bayley surrounded by anime characters hugging balloon men and… I think I have a dope idea for a T-shirt.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I’ll probably be wrong on this one but I think Sasha gets her belt back. Bayley can’t win this quickly. Bayley is female Zayn, she has to lose over and over again. Just get close … but not close enough. When she does win it needs to be a HUGE deal. Meanwhile Charlotte is a great heel but Sasha can be a better one. She needs to turn this weekend and I want her to turn … because of Dana Brooke backstab.

Molly: Charlotte by literally pressing the rewind button and causing the audience to collectively ask “didn’t we watch this on NXT but with more, oh what’s the word… enthusiasm?”

Josh:  If Bayley vs Sasha is the endgame, it’s too early to draw that out all the way until April, so the best way to pull it off is to have Sasha win this match, have her pass the title back to Charlotte in October, and play out the scenario I’m predicting below.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Charlotte is going to feud with Dana Brooke and beat her time and time again. Finally at Survivor Series Emma returns to save her friend. Sasha is going to continue to be a mean-spirited as human possible until Bayley beats her at Wrestlemania and wacky wavy inflatable arm men explode out of every corner of the building.
(I realize almost all my predicts are ending at Wrestlemania but we’re basically entering Wrestlemania season where everything is just building to the Wrestlemania matches)

Molly: While yes, it would be a great comeback story for Sasha to win the title right back after back injury issues forced her loss, I think this loss could build more sympathy for Sasha so when she finally does win the title back and becomes the cocky, full-of-herself Boss champ she does best, it’ll hurt so good. I could see having Bayley win by taking the pent up fire she had facing Asuka in her NXT Women’s title rematch and redirecting it to take back her place on top. But Bayley is one character that I would love to see digress a bit; back to hug-happy super fan who needs to prove herself as legitimate once more. Out of respect for the belt and Charlotte’s character, I’d like to see her continue onwards into a feud with Dana Brooke and hopefully Charlotte will drop it to Nia Jax when Nia gets her shot in the not-too-far-off future. Meanwhile, Sasha keeps pretending to be Bayley’s friend in the match until it’s obvious Bayley’s gonna be a problem for Sasha and Sasha just goes the fuck off on her. Then pretend to be her friend some more but keep pulling shady shit until Bayley’s done playing games and Sasha’s done sitting around without a title while a fly named Bayley buzzes in her ear.

Josh: The money feud *has* to be Bayley vs. a heel Sasha at Wretlemania, right? That’s why it’s hard to believe that these two are already in the same match fighting for the title when Bayley has been around for a month. My booking would have had Sasha vs. Charlotte in a singles match, and have Sasha lose. Then have Bayley challenge and win near the Royal Rumble, only for Sasha to get jealous over her “friend” winning instead of her. Charlotte can feud with Dana or something. Maybe even a returning Emma to defend her friend?

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Match #7 New Day vs. The Club (For the Raw Tag Team Belts)

THE NEW DAY: If Geekscape needed a wrestling mascot we’d pick The New Day (no offense Paul). They love comics, video games and Anime and talk in pop culture references. It’s like their promos are written by Dan Harmon.

THE CLUB: They were dope in Japan. They came to WWE to lose a bunch and hang out with A.J. Styles. In a perfect world they will be dope in WWE soon enough.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I love the New Day. I love them. But their time as Tag Team Champions needs to stop. The Club needs this win. The club needed this win last month if we’re being honest. If I’m wrong about the Women’s title there needs to be at least one title change and that change needs to be the Tag Belts.

Molly: The Club Please just let them murder the New Day, like, just ‘magic killer’ them on top of one another. I love the New Day and don’t want it to be a total squash cause that wouldn’t make sense, but please let the Club get their shit together and take this one.

Josh: I almost feel like it’s now or never for The Club, especially since all the hype surrounding their debut has all but disappeared. Yet, that’s never stopped the WWE from completely killing guys in the name of their own agenda, which seems to be having The New Day break Demolition’s record. Knowing this, New Day is winning.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: The New  Day can continue to do theeir comedy schtick and  being the most over thing in the  WWE Universe. The Club will be absolute dominating heels and rocking the Tag Team Division until they are beaten by Enzo and Cass at the Rumble (see not all Wrestlemania Predictions)

Molly: The New Day has really done all they can do as a tag team. They’re the most successful team in this era of WWE and I AM LITERALLY. ON MY KNEES. BEGGING YOU. TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE. WHEN YOU YANKED BULLET CLUB OUT OF JAPAN. And actually book them to be the no-fucks-to-give, win-by-any-means-possible assholes they are best. On top of doing their comedy bits that made every promo they cut in 2014 absolute gold (it’s not the language barrier that made them funny; it’s how absolutely randomly ridiculous it was for a threatening team with solid matches and a winning streak to be doing Irish whip reversals mid-promo and bringing toilet seats as weapons because they were “going to shit on your life”). It also frees up the New Day to have the feud we’ve been waiting for with Enzo & Cass but with the stakes far less high. Or the feud I’m gonna wait forever and then some for, because literally only I would want cruiserweights to be capable of forming teams to enter the tag team division, and that’s New Day vs Cedric Alexander and Noam Dar. Watch the CWC finale and try to convince me Noam and Cedric shouldn’t be a team for the rest of my waking days; I dare you.

Josh: Man, these teams NEED to get away from each other. This feud has dragged both groups down to the point where its hard to care about either. The problems is that the brand is thin when it comes to tag teams,which means the only way I can see it going is for The Club to feud with Enzo and Cass while New Day has a filler feud with… The Shining Stars? Man…

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Match #8 Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins (For the Universal Title)

KEVIN OWENS: People love to remind you that Kevin Owens doesn’t have the body of a wrestler. Wrestling fans love to remind you we don’t give a shit because he’s amazing.

SETH ROLLINS: The man who broke up the shield and then got backstaged by his foster father. He’s currently on a road to redemption.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Kevin Owens retains as god intended. Seth almost wins this but Triple H interferes once again.

Molly: Kevin Owens via AUTHORITY SHENANIGAAAAAAAANS

Josh: Seth’s face turn is going to be one of the major focuses of the brand going forward, which means you can’t have him get his revenge this early. Owens wins, possibly with more help from Triple H, and continuing to plant the seeds for the big showdown between master and apprentice.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Seth’s face turn is fully complete and he begins to feud with Triple H building to a match at Survivor Series. As I already explained earlier, Owens will remain champion until Sami Zayn takes the belt off him at Wrestlemania.

Molly: It’s the Kevin Owens Show and it’s going to stay that way so long as I have an imagination and a laptop… And, someone to format my shit and get it on Geekscape so I never have to return to AO3 again (hello darkness, my old friend). I love that all of Kevin’s ass-kissing has paid off and Stephanie McMahon’s slow distancing herself from Seth has culminated in this feud. I hope this feud keeps going as Seth makes Roman his bodyguard (explained at length earlier in my Rusev vs Roman write-up) and they slowly turn face (well, Seth face and Roman just likable) despite most of the roster not liking them very much. Kinda like how they very much not liked the Shield at first! Kevin, meanwhile, just keeps being Kevin. I personally never get sick of his feud with Sami and if it’s over a belt, even better. But I wanna save that for further down the line, say, the Royal Rumble, when surprise return entrant Finn Bálor wants the title back from Kevin but has to go through his BFF Sami to do it. Anyone else love how much they’ve built Finn and Sami’s friendship following the draft even though they have only interacted at house shows and on social media, never on television. Kind of adorable. They’d make a cute coup- I SAID I’M NOT GOING BACK TO AO3, DAMMIT. So until the Rumble built to break my heart happens, I want to see the space filled in between then and now with matches to build the likes of Neville into a title contender. Shit, maybe have Owens face a new signee cruiserweight that got lucky (JACKFUCKINGGALLAGHER).

Josh: Rollins will keep pushing Steph’s buttons while Mick is caught in the middle. After continuously getting screwed, he’ll keep moving towards that match with Triple H, which is pretty much the same story the main event has told for years now. Kevin will keep looking like the undeserving champion, (no matter how much the crowd says otherwise), until a monster babyface like Roman or even Sami dethrones him. My bets are on the former.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Summerslam than Wrestlemania. It just always feels like Wrestlemania is always super hyped up only to be a letdown, Summerslam I tend to go in with low expectations only to be shocked by how good the show is.

This year the card for Summerslam is STACKED. There are 4-5 matches that should/could be the main event. It should be a great night! Before we start though it should be noted that a few matches were announced before our article deadline so beyond the 11 matches below there is also going to be an American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros vs The Ascension/Vaudevillians/Breezango match (yes the one you already saw on Smackdown) as well as Sami & Neville vs The Dudleyz. Molly wanted the record to show that news of the second match made her cry with joy that two of her favorites were having a match together and ran to hug her Elite Neville figure.

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MATCH #1: CARMELLA, BECKY LYNCH AND NAOMI VS NATALYA, ALEXA BLISS & TBD

What you need to know about the Match:
I’ll avoid breaking down everything about each of these women. This match was basically an after thought to get the Smackdown women’s roster on TV. Eva Marie was on the match until 48 hours ago when she failed her wellness policy leaving things up in the air.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – I’m still not even sure if this going to be a handicap match or not. I’d love for it to be a return of Emma or something. Either way I’m putting money in that it comes down to Becky getting a pin on Nattie for the win.

Molly May – Lynch, Mella, and Naomi cause you done goofed up, Eva, and I guess whoever’s booking Becky is done watching me suffer and too occupied with wondering what they’re gonna replace this episode of Total Divas with. Becky will make Nattie tap to the ‘dis-arm-her’ for retribution and to give this match at least some semblance of meaning.

Josh Jackson – I *thought* that Eva would no show the match, only to grace us with her presence mid contest and steal the win for her team. With her recent suspension however, it leaves a lot of possibilities up in the air. My gut tells me someone will replace her, but with no heels on NXT even being close to ready for that spot, I’m guessing they just work Eva’s abscence into the story of the match, leaving the heels at a 2 on 3 advantage before succumbing to Becky, Naomi and Carmella.

Derek Kraneveldt – I do enjoy Natalya in-ring, but any team with Becky Lynch on it is the team for me. She consistently puts on fantastic performances, and I’d really, really like to see her take the belt from Sasha at some point.  I’m not overly familiar with Alexa Bliss or Carmella, and I don’t hate Eva Marie as much as everyone else does (well, who is now no longer even in the match), so at the very least it’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out. This one seems like it could end in submission for sure.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – It’s really hard to book any of these girls right now but I hope that we get a Smackdown women’s belt or something because Lynch and Bliss both need title reigns already. Neither even got to hold the NXT title and both deserved it.

Molly May – This match kind of makes me want to scream. Because it’s a glaring reminder that even though the Women’s Championship match this year is main event caliber, the WWE doesn’t know what the hell to do with women if they aren’t chasing a belt or a boy. I’ll take a six-pack challenge, 3 individual singles matches, battle royal that ends in Nia Jax cleaning house, a mini tournament where the winner gets to kick “All Wellness Everything”’s ass for denying us a women’s match every week Smackdown’s been live. I hope all those things happen on Smackdown in the weeks that follow Summerslam! Can you imagine; potentially 3 women’s feuds going on at once?! Just PLEASE, anything but another. Damnass. Pointless. Tag match!

Josh Jackson – The women will get their own title soon, which has essentially been confirmed. So this match won’t really matter, since I’m expecting all six girls to be in the mix. Let’s hope Becky finally pulls off that elusive title win, but I’m guessing Eva might sneak away with it to build up more heat on her.

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MATCH #2 ENZO & CASS VS. JERICHOWENS

What you need to know about the Match:

Enzo & Cass – Take the New Age Outlaws and mix them with the cast of the Jersey shore and it gives you one of the most popular additions to WWE this year. They’re basically the wrestling version of Joey the Rat and Frankie the Enforcer from Boy Meets World.

Jerichowens – I’m not sure if they have an actual team name but what the hell else do you call the combination of Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens?

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – There’s no reason not to let Enzo and Cass win this but it kills me to say it… this is one of the few who cares matches on an otherwise stacked card. There’s really no point to this match beyond getting Enzo and Cass on the pay-per-view because they’re super over but they’re faces and can’t possibly go against the Tag Team Champs who are also faces. I do see Owens backstabbing Jericho at the end of this. Kevin Owens hates losing, little known fact.

Molly May – Enzo and Cass win do to Owens abandoning Jericho and realizing what an asshole he’s been

Josh Jackson – Enzo and Cass are over to the point where a loss won’t hurt them, especially against guys as credible as Y2KO. Owens also needs a big win coming off his loss against Sami last month. Enzo takes the fall as Owens wins with a Pop Up Powerbomb after Jericho finds an underhanded way to take Cass out of the picture.

Derek Kraneveldt –  I have no idea who’s going to win this one. Heck, I don’t even know who I’d like to see win this one.  Both are phenomenal pairings, and while its obvious that Enzo and Cass will far outlast the team of Y2KO (remember how long Y2AJ stuck around for), I’d really, really like to see Y2KO celebrate some wins.  That said, Enzo may be better on the mic than Jericho himself, and if I could see this feud continue after this Sunday, I would absolutely love for it to do just that.  No clue on this one, but if I had to guess, I’d say that Enzo and Cass take it.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – I firmly believe this match is strictly to build a Owens/Jericho feud. It will end with Owens killing Jericho (metaphorically). Jericho has a Fozzy Future in his sights and what better way to write him off than a giant injury that gives Owens another name to add to his list of friends he’s put into the hospital.

Molly May –  Look at how guilty Owens looks when Jericho says they’re like brothers. No one does ‘the desolate look’ as well as Owens; that look of “I’ve accepted that I destroyed my relationship with my best friend and now I’m in a whatever tag match and he’s sort of on the card but I’m too proud to admit I screwed up and now I can’t go back”. Watch that intro to RAW back-to-back with the last Steen vs Generico match. It’s heartbreaking.

That said, why are Owens and Jericho even teaming up? Over a mutual dislike of Enzo and Cass? Maybe this is when Owens realizes how terribly he’s gone about all this and lets his fellow NXT grads get the win. So the next night on RAW, Owens can declare that the ‘new era’ is superior to Jericho’s ‘attitude’ and he’s the rightful face of the new era. Jericho is old news and was holding him back. Have Kevin earn (or better yet, beg Stephanie McMahon for) number one contendership to the Universal title. Have Jericho do the same with Foley, begging to fight Rollins or Bálor while acting like he doesn’t remember putting down Mick. Cause confused dad Jericho is the best Jericho.

Josh Jackson – This feud will surely continue for at least another month, with excellent back and forth promos to continue building the hype. Regardless of who wins, Enzo and Cass can’t be far from the tag title picture. How you doin’?

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MATCH #3 CESARO VS. SHEAMUS

What you need to know about the Match:

Cesaro – To explain Cesaro it’d feel like I’m making it up. He’s a big dude in tearaway suits who’s finisher is swinging people around … sounds dumb on paper but it’s fucking awesome in practice. He’s also one of the best wrestlers in the fucking company.

Sheamus – He’s tall, Irish and was in the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He looks like when Dr. Zoidberg is in The Frenzy

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Hey Guys! We’re gonna get to see 6 more of these matches over the next few months. Isn’t that exciting! The first 3 or 4 simply wasn’t enough. Cesaro won a shit ton of them already so Sheamus will most likely win this one, Summerslam tends to be a pretty heel victory centric pay-per-view.

Molly May – Sheamus wins. Cesaro’s been on a hot streak and if we’re really supposed to believe that this is an even match deserving of a series, Sheamus could definitely use the win on this one. After the fight spills out into the crowd, the two will beat each other to the point where neither can stand. Sheamus makes it in, appears to be getting the count out victory, until Cesaro makes it in and runs straight into a final brogue kick.

Josh Jackson – Why we’re starting a best of seven series after these guys have fought twice in three weeks is mind boggling. Having no announced reward to fight for is even worse. Even still, considering Sheamus is 0-2 against the Swiss Superman, he has to win this one. I say clean with a Brogue Kick to build his credibility as we move forward in this series.

Derek Kraneveldt –  This seems like the weird random matchup of popular superstars that creative couldn’t really fit anywhere else. I don’t really see what everyone else sees in Cesaro. His return was the first time I’d ever seen him in a match, and he just seems kind of… cheesy. His uppercuts look weird and super fake, the Cesaro Swing seems like something a father would play with their child (he doesn’t even throw them), and his taunts look like a weird kid pretending to punch things. On the other hand, now that Sheamus just has a regular beard, I’m down. He wins this round.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – We had the audacity to cheer for Cesaro and form our own sections in his honor. He will feud with Sheamus until the sound of sirens make us start screaming uncontrolably “NO NOT AGAIN” We are all  Pavlov dogs in Vince McMahons demented test.

Molly May – We have to watch this match 6 more times. I don’t think I can watch any two wrestlers with little to no history between them in 7 different matches over the course of months. And I can watch a lot of Cesaro matches. Who’s really winning here.

Josh Jackson – This feud will likely carry into Raw’s next PPV, where Cesaro will ultimately win in seven, (as it always does in wrestling). Regardless, I see Cesaro ending up on Smackdown one way or another, while Sheamus continues to float around aimlessly.

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MATCH #4 BROCK LESNAR VS. RANDY ORTON

What you need to know about the Match:

Randy Orton – Randy thinks he’s a snake and spends most of his free time being a meme.

Brock Lesnar – Brock is a former UFC Champion who once murdered a car with his bare hands. He’s the most believably scary wrestlers in history.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  If there’s one thing I’m positive about it’s that Brock Lesnar is going to walk out still the undefeated beast. You can’t spend two+ years building Brock into this monster who dismantled John Cena, The Undertaker and Roman Reigns only for Randy Orton to beat him. That’s just dumb. Orton won’t lose clean though, Bray Wyatt is gonna come and fuck shit up.

Molly May – Brock wins with at least 7 German suplexes, 3 F-5’s and 2 middle fingers. Orton gets at least one good near fall off an RKO outta nowhere, but c’mon, Orton’s not ending Brock’s winning streak. I’m also gonna piggy-back off Matt’s booking and say Bray Wyatt gets involved in this match. You don’t show Orton and Wyatt having a stare down DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK if it doesn’t have some significance. Give Orton a fighting chance until Bray gets involved and then there’s no question that Brock’s gonna pin Orton clean.

Josh Jackson – As much as I would love one of my all time favorites in Orton go over one of my least favorites of all time in Lesnar, it’s not going to happen. Orton has little to gain from a victory, while Lesnar will continue to be protected until their new chosen one will slay the beast on a much bigger stage. Still, an F5 into an RKO is almost guaranteed, while I’m crossing my fingers for a return of the punt, fines be damned. Aside from that, don’t be shocked if we get the same lazy Brock match where he suplexes his opponent a thousand times before wrapping things up with an F5, minus the RKO reversal.

Derek Kraneveldt – This one is super tough, mostly because I have never seen Orton wrestle, and in the eight months that I’ve been watching WWE I’ve only seen Lesnar a handful of times, and his only match that I wasn’t disappointed with was the Ambrose v. Reigns v. Lesnar match from Fastlane (when Brock suplexed both of his appointments at once, man).

I think that this one is going to Orton. He’s been out for so long that it would be crazy not to give this huge a superstar a win on his return, and while Lesnar had a ton of buzz after winning at UFC 200… A couple of positive blood tests quickly turned that buzz negative.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – People seem to think an Orton loss will somehow hurt him, but I doubt that. As for Brock, he needs to be beaten by someone that’s been under utilized. Randy Orton will feud with Bray, and lose. Brock will also want Bray since Wyatt has made his win a little less legit. Eventually we will get a match with Brock vs Bray Wyatt and Bray does the impossible and pins Brock. It’s at that moment that Bray cuts a promo against the dead man about how Bray Wyatt could beat the one man Taker couldn’t. This leads to match where Wyatt retires Taker.

Molly May – Hopefully this leads to a more vicious viper on Smackdown. With face vs face main eventing on the Smackdown side at Summerslam, we need a good vile heel like Orton was in 2010. Have Bray and Orton feud and, like Wyatt did when his main goal in feuds was to recruit members of his family, influence Orton and manipulate him to remember how much more fun it is to ruin people’s lives than to go after championships. Lesnar will follow this match with more part-timing and not giving a shit about your kids. He’ll probably stay pissed off enough to still wanna take on Wyatt at Wrestlemania down the line so we can get the match that had to be postponed.

Josh Jackson –Lesnar will disappear from main roster storylines until the Royal Rumble, while Orton fills the Cena roll of gate keeping veteran. A Bray Wyatt feud would be something new once he’s out of the title picture, but I’m thinking Orton will sell his injuries and rest up for a few weeks until that program is ready to start.

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MATCH #5 THE MIZ VS APOLLO CREWS

What you need to know about the Match:

The Miz – Former Reality Star turned into douchey C-level actor who thinks he’s an A-lister. He’s the best character player in WWE today

Apollo Crews – This man should be one of the biggest guys in WWE but they don’t know what do with him. He is a genuine ball of positivity.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – The Miz is no longer the Champ come next Smackdown. I’m saying it. The Miz has done an excellent job at the Chicken Shit heel role he was born to play but they need to do something with Apollo. He’s officially less utilized than Tyler Breeze or Neville at this point.

Molly May – Maryse distracts the referee while Miz gets in a low blow-eye rake-Mid-South as hell-cheap shot to get the win. After Crews clearly gets a 3 count that the ref missed.

Josh Jackson – I love The Miz, and feel like he should keep the IC Title for a long time. Yet, with how this feud has been built, if Miz wins, then Apollo far too damaged to be worth it. The story being told is that Miz has barely noticed who his opponent is, since he’s not taking the young star seriously. Smackdown is supposed to be the show of opportunity, and that will show when Apollo earns his first title in the WWE.

Derek Kraneveldt – Apollo Crews is a pretty interesting superstar to me. He seems so freaking physically talented, and is even fine on the mic the few times that I’ve actually heard him… But I still don’t really have a sense of his character. At this point he has some great in-ring moves, but isn’t interesting at all beyond that.

With that being the case, I’d love to see The Miz win. I hated the dude when I first started watching, but he definitely grew on me as the pretentious A-Lister once again became intercontinental champion (though I’m sad that he took it from Ryder) and began his newest reign.  Also, his Facebook page is hilarious.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Obviously there will be a Miz rematch and it’ll be good, it will be followed by another higher older profile feud with someone like Kane or Del Rio but the point where he will really start to shine will be in a big match against Baron Corbin. I could see him losing the belt to Baron maybe around the time of the Rumble.

Molly May – The Miz has had some awesome matches against the new breed of wrestlers in WWE. Remember how fans joked that Miz should be retroactively made a member of the Ring of Honor 2010 roster following the Fatal 4 Way with Cesaro, Owens, and Zayn at Extreme Rules? Actually make Miz have the mentality that he ranks amongst the best of NXT. If you can’t beat em, join em. And Miz knows he can’t beat em. So it leads to increasingly paranoid champ Miz who only gets wins by the skin of his teeth and blatant cheating. He freaks out worse and worse as the fluke wins pile up and gets messier at hiding his insecurities. Until a more confident Baron Corbin, or an underdog-turned-contender Kalisto, or a rematch with a more experienced Apollo Crews takes the belt off Miz by the end of the year.

Josh Jackson – As always, a rematch will play out, which I’ll go out on a limb for and say that Miz will regain it then. Apollo will ultimately lose the feud, but Miz will be forced to bring his A game, elevating the Apollo in the process.

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MATCH #6 RUSEV VS ROMAN REIGNS

What you need to know about the Match:

Rusev – The Bulgarian Brute fighting in honor of Russia. Just think Rocky IV, that’s really all you need to know about Rusev.

Roman Reigns – In 2013 Reigns was part of the Shield and everyone loved him. Then he opened his mouth and we realized he had the personality of a Jar of Mayo.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  Rusev retains. Please god let Rusev retain. We got this match as the main event on Monday with Reigns winning… that was Reigns win. Now it’s Rusev’s turn to wreck house.

Molly May – Reigns passes out after refusing to tap to Rusev’s ‘Accolade’ which he holds for no less than 5 straight minutes, while screaming for no less than 7 straight minutes because Reigns accidentally spears Lana

Josh Jackson – Well… Rusev has to be my favorite wrestler on the main roster, while Roman is one of my least. Still, I figured there’s no way that Rusev carries the US Title past Sunday, considering the company still seems dead set on pushing their golden boy to the moon.

That was, until last Monday.
Since Roman got the clean win on free TV, (and sucking out most of the enthusiasm for their PPV match in the process), Rusev will retain one way or another. Whether its via DQ, or by cheating for a dirty win, Rusev will survive for a little bit longer.

Derek Kraneveldt – This has been a fantastic feud thus far.  I’m a Roman fan (the only WWE shirt I have at this point is a Reigns one, for instance), and honestly, that suspension may have been the best thing to happen to him in some time.

Since his return, the crowd has actually seemed into him (and oh god that insane Roman booing is annoying and it makes me feel so bad for him), and his screen time each week has been some of the most interesting since I began watching. He’s building instead of simply being the ‘Big Dog’, and he’s all the better for it.  That said, I think Rusev is taking it. The feud and Roman’s return still seem a little too fresh for a title change, so I’d imagine that the feud continues beyond this weekend, and Roman takes it in the rematch.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Rusev needs to just wreck house with no one winning that belt. Who takes down the Giant? Well hear me out on this but … Mojo Rawley. Yeah I know sounds stupid, probably will be… but at Battleground after Rusev smashed Zack Ryder into a day-glow stain in the middle of the ring Mojo came out and stared Rusev down. Rusev (and the rest of the world) immediately got to joking about how stupid that pairing is. Rusev commented multiple times about needing a “real challenger”. I see Mojo and Rusev being in a Survivor Series match together in which Mojo emasculates Rusev. This causes Ru-Ru to demand that he prove he is the better man and he’s willing to risk the US Title changing shows. Spoiler Alert… that shit is changing shows at The Rumble.

Molly May – I want Rusev to go on a tear. Have this win breathe new life into him. Make him realize how close he was to losing the championship, and possibly losing Lana. He won’t be made a fool of anymore and he’s going to wreck Sami Zayn in Sami’s attempt to earn a title the right way (unlike Kevin who’s sucking up for Universal Championship shots) and prove he could win the title that caused his shoulder injury. And wreck Neville in a showcase that he’s a fantastic technical/submission wrestler on top of being the best high flyer (AND a high profile match would do good things for the superstar that I expect will be the cornerstone of the cruiserweight division). And then wreck Darren Young after he’s cheated his way to the #1 contendership spot without Coach Bob Backlund’s knowledge. I expect Roman’s gonna get a rematch for no real reason, and I could see him enter a feud with Owens over who really deserves to represent the new era (surprise, it’s neither of them cause the real representatives are already fighting over the belt at Summerslam). Mostly I want Roman to get increasingly angry as the odds are stacked against him and his losses pile up and Ambrose and Rollins’ reigns keep get longer and longer…

Josh Jackson –Even if Rusev retains, he won’t be champion for long. Roman will get a rematch next month, with The Big Dog pulling through and winning the title on his second try. My guess is he’ll hold the title until the company is ready to put him back into the title picture, while Rusev moves on to a filler feud against the new WWE Universal Champion.

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MATCH #7 THE NEW DAY VS THE CLUB

What you need to know about the Match:

The New Day – When this tag team debuted they were potentially the most hated thing in WWE at the time… then they found their footing in pop culture references and wacky antics and EXPLODED. They’re our current WWE Champions

The Club – This duo were HUGE in Japan but super under utilized by WWE, lately they’ve been making testicle jokes on Raw.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  New Day had a good run but it’s time for them to lose and The Club could use a good push to make people feel slightly threatened by them again. The only way I see New Day retaining is if they have it look like Kofi and Xavier are beaten and then Big E makes his triumphant return to save them. But that’s unlikely, there’s no more stories to tell with New Day as champions.

Molly May – I think The Club will win… but I want the New Day to win. THE CLUB WINS WITH CHEATING. Lots and lots of cheating. And the fastest “Magic Killer” you’ve ever seen (cause no move was more appropriately named for ending New Day’s reign)

Josh Jackson –Man… I really wanted this to finally be the time where The Club finally lives up to their massive paychecks and take the tag team titles. Considering how little they’ve accomplished since their debut however, and their first big post brand split feud revolving around ruptured balls… I just can’t see a change of the guard take place under these circumstances. New Day takes it after Big E returns for the destraction.

Derek Kraneveldt – If Gallows and Anderson win I will not watch wrestling anymore.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – The New Day will obviously get a rematch this time with Big E by their side but they will lose. Tag Team after Tag Team will lose in their quest for the Tag Belts. The Club will brag about how no one can touch them and American Alpha will continue to not lose on Smackdown. It’ll be decided at that Wrestlemania these two unstoppable teams will come head to head. American Alpha walk out as Tag Team Champions and bring it to Smackdown.

Molly May – Being down Big E evens the playing field, and if this was Anderson and Gallows straight off the heels of Wrestle Kingdom 10, I’d call a Club win, no question. I could talk all day about how much I love New Japan, especially the Bullet Club in all its’ variations (my first New Japan match was Omega vs Devitt for the Light Heavyweight title so, yeah, duh). There’s nothing I would love more than to see The New Day ousted by a fully reunited, mad strong Biz Cliz after New Day’s outstanding run. In the best situation I could’ve booked, The Club would’ve debuted as Bálor Club at NXT Takeover: Dallas, we’d have gotten heel Finn by the draft after a slow burn turn on NXT TV, and he’d fight a babyface Rollins at Summerslam in a build for the eventual Rollins vs Triple H. But now, to try booking all that is way too much too soon.

So assuming The Club wins, they shouldn’t lose ONCE with those titles. They should blatantly cheat in every match and hold on to those titles at all costs and appear un-fuck-withable. Make the New Day consider turning to their old tricks and start cheating again, too. Rework how Enzo and Cass were booked in NXT; they lose in their first PPV match for the title, have to re-earn their shot in a build to take them as a serious threat, and at one of the shared big 4 PPVs, bring out their Smackdown secret weapon Carmella and give the Realest Guys the clean win. Always keep some space between the Club and Bálor, AND all of them and Styles. Until all 4 are holding gold. Then as ‘Mania rolls around and they’re title-less while their old buddies are at the top, start to make the Club question where their loyalties really lie.

Josh Jackson – I have no idea to be honest. The Club needs to take some time away from the spotlight and rebuild, possibly by tearing down some lower tier tag teams and come off as a threat again. As of now, it’s very hard to take them seriously, especially if you don’t know about their history in Japan. As for New Day, Big E will return to the fold while the team continues to hold the tag team titles until Enzo and Cass are ready to take them. Probably in a multi man match since I don’t see a face vs face match as of yet. Either way, this tag division is starved on both shows since the split, and need some kind of talent injection quick.

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MATCH #8 SASHA BANKS VS. CHARLOTTE

What you need to know about the Match:

Sasha Banks – Sasha is the current women’s champion, snoop dogg’s cousin and one of the dopest women’s wrestlers out there.

Charlotte – Charlotte was the previous Women’s Champion and daughter of Ric Flair. She’s a real spoiled bitch (at least the character, I’m sure the real life person is lovely).

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Sasha Banks is absolutely retaining here. I don’t know if it will be a clean finish however, based on a recent segment on Raw I see Dana Brook intentionally costing Charlotte the belt. Maybe even a run in from Bayley and Becky Lynch to make it go full four horsewomen.

Molly May – Since Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, Ric Flair makes an appearance to help Charlotte win. But not to worry, because Bayley runs in to try to stop him. Tell me you don’t wanna see a bayley-to-belly on the nature boy so Sasha can retain the title in Brooklyn.

Josh Jackson –With Dana banned from ringside, we should finally get the Charlotte match many of us have been waiting on for a long time. Even still, there’s no way Sasha loses the title so soon after her big moment. Charlotte will prove herself as a worthy performer on her own, but Sasha will retain with the Banks Statement.

Derek Kraneveldt – These two have so much history, and I really cannot wait to see them get back into the ring.  I like Charlotte and her superiority complex, but I found her title run fairly boring and extremely repetitive.

Almost every month, I’d be sure that THIS TIME Charlotte would lose, and fairly… Only to be proven wrong time and time again. It got to the point where the methods of cheating weren’t even entertaining anymore, and the best part of the matches were simply when they were over. She even disowned her father… and the cheating continued.

Then out of nowhere, she lost it, and it wasn’t even on a PPV. Tensions have been building ever since, and while myself and likely every other member of the WWE Universe thinks and hopes that the belt stays in Sasha’s hands, we’re behind excited for what could be the best match of the evening.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – I’d love to see Dana allign herself back up with Emma. Perhaps after breaking from Charlotte she starts setting her sights on Sasha. I’m definitely seeing the next pay-per-view featuring a Sasha vs. Dana match (or even better Sasha vs. Emma if she’s healed up and ready to go). I eagerly await when we get a Sasha vs. Nia series (because that will happen).

Molly May – More than likely Charlotte’s future is in a feud to elevate Dana. Now since Ric tried to help in Brooklyn despite being disowned, and Dana was no help at all, Charlotte hates them both. Perfect reason for Ric to take Dana under his wing and make her ‘the next nature girl’. When Emma makes her return, she asks Dana what the hell happened and questions if they were ever friends at all. That leads to Emma vs Dana and the two of them realigning in the end. Hopefully this also garners more sympathy for Charlotte and a slow face turn while Sasha gets cockier and cockier as her winning streak gets more impressive. I don’t want Sasha going full heel since she’s still so well liked… but I also want Sasha vs Bayley for Wrestlemania…

So you know those “we want Sasha” chants? They become “heyyyyy we want so Bayley!” chants. Bayley is main roster official now, and she’s so loved, and wanted in every match, and getting every opportunity and “she hasn’t even won a match yet!” Sasha screams, cause wtf, Bayley? Think you’re so great, being a good person and hugging everyone. Bayley presents herself very humbly, but wins matches flawlessly. She beats Sasha with ease on RAW in a non-title match after weeks of build and it drives Sasha insane. To the point where she refuses to defend the title against Bayley until Bayley “proves” herself while Sasha runs roughshod on everyone who questions The Boss.

Josh Jackson –I would have said Charlotte would move on to a feud away from the title with Paige, but considering how hard she partied on her birthday, The Queen City’s own will have to take a back seat for a bit. Sasha will inevitably reunite with Bayley on the main roster, only for The Boss to turn heel, (which she desperately needs), and will reignite her legendary Takeover feud.

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MATCH #9 JOHN CENA VS AJ STYLES

What you need to know about the Match:

AJ Styles – After being the indie darling for years he debuted at the Royal Rumble to a crowd who lost their mind but slowly went from Face everyone loved to heel everyone loved to hate.

John Cena – You know who John Cena is.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – I’m pretty sure the last time we saw John Cena at a Summerslam he basically got tossed around for 10 minutes. I don’t think we’re going to see Cena eat it here… but I REALLLY want to. I don’t even hate Cena, it’s just the right decision and I’ll tell you why

Molly May – AJ Styles nails the Styles Clash after denying The Club’s help. Styles has already suffered one major loss at Wrestlemania this year and used Anderson and Gallows for a chunk of his wins since. It’s his first statement in proving “I don’t have the Club, and I don’t need the Club”

Josh Jackson –This match is likely to steal the show if their previous efforts have been any indication. This will be the first match in the pair’s series of bouts that will (likely), have no interference. Just a good old fashioned one on one fight. No excuses, and no doubt who the better man will be. This scenario usually means Cena will “overcome the odds” and pull out the victory, but considering how Smackdown ended, not to mention the fact that Cena will be gone to film the second season of his reality show, AJ will get to #BeatUpJohnCena on the company’s second biggest stage.

Derek Kraneveldt – I’m a huge Cena fan. As cool as AJ is, as someone who didn’t follow him around the world, he hasn’t really done all that much to wow me yet. He also brought Gallows and Anderson with him, who I feel like may just be the most boring tag team that I’ve ever seen. I’m alone in this one too, aren’t I?

With The Club busy in their own match, I feel like this will be the true 1 v. 1 that we were all hoping to see a few months back. That first match was fantastic before the interruption, and I really can’t wait to see this one. I think Cena is taking it home, but I’m beyond uncertain of what this matches outcome will actually be.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – After AJ Styles absolutely and definitively has wrecked the face that runs the place he has his eyes on one and only one prize: the world belt. I’d like to see Dean retain until Survivor Series but this could honestly go down at at one of the Smackdown pay-per-views… but Styles is going to be wearing that belt in time for the Royal Rumble. More on this fantasy booking in a second…

Molly May – Like I’ve mentioned in my Bálor and Club write ups, let’s see Styles become more of a loner who knows he doesn’t need help because he’s too damn good for help. Really press that he doesn’t need some stupid WWE title cause he’s already beaten Cena! He’s a former IWGP Champ! This new era would be NOTHING if not for him. No one is on his level… not even Dean Ambrose. This clearly pisses off Ambrose, who demands a match with Styles. While Styles just keeps ‘conveniently’ missing out on opportunities to challenge Ambrose in favor of crushing an easier opponent. Daniel Bryan can’t sit back anymore, reasoning that Styles is taking the honor and respect out of wrestling, and puts the two in a match at the Royal Rumble. Which Styles wins. Cena, meanwhile, should get in at least one great PPV match for the title with Ambrose. But after that, hopefully Cena makes waves in the Intercontinental title picture to further make life harder for The Miz. The United States Open Challenge was arguably the best series Cena has had in his entire career, and I’d like to see the IC title heightened in such a way similar. Preferably not just a rehash of the open challenge, but definitely something along those lines.

Josh Jackson – Cena will fade away for awhile before coming back to his top guy spot. The only thing I can see for him in the future is to get that long awaited Undertaker Mania match, or win the Rumble and square off against Roman Reigns in a passing of the torch match. Between now and then, I don’t see him doing anything major. It’s clear his time is winding down.

AJ on the other hand, will be firmly launched into the main event. Signs are pointing to him feuding with the loser of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, and eventually winning the title after that business is wrapped up.

wwe_summerslam_dean_ambrose_dolph_ziggler

MATCH #10 DEAN AMBROSE VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

What you need to know about the Match:

Dean Ambrose – Before he was a member of the Shield he was a Death match maniac. He’s our current world champion and one of the most legit unhinged a-holes in WWE

Dolph Ziggler – Think of the lead singer of every 80’s hair metal band… during the mid-90s. Now stop imagining Chris Jericho and think Shawn Michaels instead. Congrats you now know who Dolph Ziggler is.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Dean Ambrose is going to continue to retain, it’s a no-brainer honestly. But it’s going to be a great match, hell, it might be the match of the night. It has the potential to be… I mean, almost every match has the potential to be on this card … almost (sorry Cesaro, Sheamus, Enzo, Cass, Jericho and Owens). This will establish Dean as a serious champion and maybe turn Dolph into a bitter washed up man of the old era.

Molly May – Just let Ambrose get a clean pin and look like a legit champ please.

Josh Jackson –I love both of these guys. I’m also a sucker for the underdog, which is why I would LOVE if Ziggler were to win. However, Dean just won the title by beating two of the company’s golden boys in Reigns and Rollins, and there’s no chance that he loses this soon to someone who couldn’t beat Baron Corbin a month ago. Ziggler will dig deep and prove he belongs, but will come up short when Ambrose retains.

Derek Kraneveldt – I may be alone in saying this… but I want Ziggler to win. He’s been this talented, barely-there underdog since I began watching WWE, and he solidified me as a fan after a heartbreaking promo a few weeks back about how much he’s been looked over and how he deserves this. As long as he’s not fighting nineteen boring matches with Baron Corbin, I’d definitely be down with seeing Ziggler hold the title.  That said, there’s no way in hell its going to him. Ambrose is keeping this one, at least for now.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Ziggler will continue to feud against other wreslers. I’d be super on board with a good couple Crews vs Ziggers matches (just keep him away from Corbin for the rest of the decade). Dean will be the champ until A.J. Styles eventually takes the belt off of him.

Molly May – I hope these two continue to feud for the belt for at least one or two more pay per view matches. They’re fantastic foil for one another, both being guys that never got the respect they deserved but being pretty stylistically different. I think Ambrose deserves a legitimate reign, and definitely a longer one that Roman’s. Really make Roman seeth over how Seth and Dean are/were better champions than he was. (Just cause you’re on separate brands doesn’t  mean you still can’t hate your friends!) So when it reaches Survivor Series, or preferably the Royal Rumble where I want Dean to lose the belt, Roman unleashes his anger on Dean after a poorly planned alliance between them goes every kind of wrong.

I’d like to see Bray Wyatt get involved in the title picture after he’s done with Orton. I’d kill for a triple threat on PPV between Champbrose, Ziggler, and Wyatt, then I’m thinking Ziggler and Wyatt would make a solid feud with them both blaming each other for their losses and the feud ending in a traditional Survivor Series match. Either leading two teams or as the last two remaining members of opposing teams.

Josh Jackson –Based on the build up, there’s no way Ziggler doesn’t turn heel after this. Based on the way things have been going however, Ziggler will stay face for a little while longer while he feuds with AJ Styles for the number one contender spot. Dean will feud with Bray Wyatt for the title, where he’ll come out on top once again. I can’t say the same for when he squares off with The Phenomenal One.

Finn-Balor-Seth-Rollins-SummerSlam-850x540

MATCH #11 FINN BALOR VS. SETH ROLLINS

What you need to know about the Match:

Seth Rollins – Was the World Champion until an injury forced him to drop the belt, he’s yet to officially been pinned to lose his belt. He’s a huge asshole and it’s glorious to watch.

Finn Balor – Think of the hottest soccer player you’ve ever seen, now imagine them in a wrestling ring and occasionally covered in body paint that makes them kinda look like Venom. He’s awesome and will be the most popular person in wrestling one day.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – So this is the hardest match to call. I originally predicted every run in known about man. I’ve argued that Finn has more to lose if he wins than if he loses. Yea those of us who watch NXT know he’s earned it but to the 80% of the casual audience is concerned he’s just Reigns 2.0. A quick and immediately push could do more bad than good. So I’m saying the Seth wins but it will in no way be a clean win. Maybe Seth Rollins best friend Jon Stewart comes and saves him once again.

Molly May –  Finn Bálor. Mostly because do you honestly think Demon KING Bálor is gonna lose his first main roster pay per view match. Yeah, I know the demon lost at NXT Takeover: The End, but now he’s the demon KING. Just trust them, it’s different (it’sreallynot).

BUT! Seth is getting the belt.

Triple H is gonna interfere. The Club is gonna interfere. John Stewart is gonna interfere. Your mom is gonna interfere. Hideo Itami is gonna debut after the match to beat up Bálor for injuring him which HASNOTBEENBROUGHTUPYETONNXT WHYNOT WHOHURTYOUHIDEO. But in all seriousness, this match is not ending in a clean finish. I expect interferences, especially from the GMs, Triple H or John Stewart. It’ll look like Finn won but someone will catch that he had a foot under the rope and they’ll give it to Seth, even though Seth blatantly nailed Finn with a chair. But I’d still like to keep The Club at an arms’ length from Finn, and I’m aware Hideo is a stretch. In a perfect world, Finn would be the one that put Hideo on the shelf and Hideo would get his revenge one way or another. But since the draft has kinda screwed that up, check my Takeover: Brooklyn prediction for how I reworked it *winkwink*.

Josh Jackson – I predict that the announce team will say “The Demon King” 30 times throught the match. I also fully expect Finn to win, becoming champion a short four weeks after debuting on the main roster. Sure, that’s a bit of a hot shot to the top spot, but Seth is already established as a main eventer. Cutting Finn’s legs out from under him this soon, especially if they have him lose his first match in his demon garb, would be absolutely detrimental to his continued growth. He won’t hold it long, but I’m expecting Brooklyn to explode once the longest reigning NXT champ wins the big one.

Derek Kraneveldt – As a non-regular NXT viewer, aside from catching a few (fantastic) Takeover events, I’m not overly familiar with Bálor. That said, in any case I think that this one is going to Rollins. Rollins is one of WWE’s biggest stars, and now that he can no longer play up the exciting “title I never lost” angle, I could definitely see him gloating about the title that nobody else has ever won. He just seems a bit under-utilized since his return (especially looking at the way he went out), and I think that this outcome would certainly get people talking.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Seth was an amazing Heel Champion before and he will be an amazing heel champion again. So what happens with Balor? Balor continues to impress the world match after match until he earns his spot in the Royal Rumble… and wins it.

With two “Main belts” this creates a question… what is the main event belt. I say the Rumble winner chooses the belt he wants, and Finn wants to do the one thing Seth Rollins couldn’t do… bring the World Title back to Raw. He challenges the then current champion AJ Styles. A.J. will feel confident that he can win at Wrestlemania and is excited to be defending his belt in a setting where his friends (and current Tag Team Champs) The Club can be by his side.

After putting on what will arguably be one of the top matches in 2017, the Club comes down and beats the ever loving SHIT out of AJ Styles. The Demon rides out on Anderson’s shoulders wearing the belt for a feud against Seth Rollins to combine the belts into the WWE Galaxy belt or some stupid shit like that.

Molly May – Seth is a great heel champion, and I really want to see how a reign of his will go without the Authority’s help. And I want Finn to be on Seth like a fly on shit. Let the audience get to know Finn better since this massive push out the gate has brought on some Reigns-esque distaste. And teach them that when Finn loses a match for a title, he does not let who beat him get away unscathed. In my opinion, Bálor is a more interesting character when he’s in a chase for the belt than when he’s the champ. What would make this extra awesome (since WWE already pulled the trigger early on the demon): start incorporating supernatural traits into his normal human character. We don’t know a ton about how the demon mythos works, just that it’s “Bálor’s mask”. The intimidation factor could help make up for his size disadvantage. Do things like have him cut the arena lights and La Catrina-teleport to the ring. Have him show up to RAW in a surgical mask that he rips off to reveal a Joker-looking slit-mouth. Hell, go full Japanese urban legend and put him in arena bathrooms before shows to scare fans. I just wrote your next season of Swerved. You’re welcome.

Josh Jackson – Rollins won’t be out of the picture for long, considering that he’ll end up getting a rematch and taking the title off of Finn thanks to some outside help. Maybe the return of J & J Security? Or a bitter Kevin Owens who feels that Finn doesn’t deserve the opportunities that are meant for him? Either way, Finn’s impressive debut will be tempered a bit, cooling him off as he clears the way for the inevitable Roman Reigns redemption story.

 

Summerslam 2016 pre-show begins at 5pm on the network and Summerslam begins at 7pm. Let us know what you think of our predictions and comment with some of your own.

Briefly: We’re just over a month away from the highly anticipated premiere of the fourth (yep, fourth) Sharknado film, and Syfy has just revealed a long list of individuals who are set to make an appearance in the upcoming sequel.

Sharknado 4 will take place five years after the East Coast was ravaged in Sharknado 3. Fin, his family and the cosmos have been blissfully sharknado-free in the intervening years, but now sharks – and ‘nados! – are being whipped up in places (and ways) that are completely unexpected…

Sharknado fans were able to vote whether or not Tara Reid’s character, April Wexler, will return for the film, the result of which poll you can watch below.

As far as cameos go, there are a lot of them, including our pal Andre “Black Nerd” Meadows, and even WWE superstar (and former champion) Seth Rollins. Now I’m even more excited.

Here are the rest of the cameos:

YouTuber Andre “Black Nerd” Meadows as a Train Conductor
Comic Carrot Top as an Uber Driver
Chippendales Dancers as themselves
YouTube/Vine star DeStorm Power as a National Guardsman
Dolvett Quince of The Biggest Loser as a Trainer
Erika Girardi from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as Tech Frances
Comic Gilbert Gottfried as Today correspondent
Pro wrestler Seth Rollins as AstroTech Lopez
Steve Guttenberg as Car Owner
Hayley Hasselhoff as Supervisor Mary Jane and Taylor-Ann Hasselhoff as Pilot Shaylin
YouTuber iJustine as Supervisor Brock
MMA fighter Roy Nelson as Donnie the Paparazzo
Vanderpump Rules‘ Stassi Schroeder as Koening and Jax Taylor as a Guardsman
Paul Shaffer as himself

Sharknado: The Fourth Awakens premieres on July 31st, and I really can’t wait to see what Syfy has planned for SDCC.

Once again I am joined by Geekscape Games co-hosts (and wrestling fans) Juan and Josh as we breakdown not one but TWO pay-per-views happening this weekend. First we talk NXT Takeover Brooklyn and then the 2nd biggest WWE Pay-Per-View of the year… Wrestlemania.

If you’re curious where I’ve been I’ve been working on my new podcast Horror Movie Club. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud, Reddit and Geekscape.net!

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This week’s episode is the first of four live panels recorded at last months TanoshiiCon in West Chester, PA. The first panel is “Let’s Talk Wrasslin'” featuring the co-hosts of the We Want Blood: A Wrestling Podcast show. The gang discusses WWE, the future of the characters, the rising awesomeness of New Day and take questions from the crowd.

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This is another wrestling packed episode. Once again I’m joined by some Geekscape Games co-hosts. This time Wrestling fans (and gaming enthusiasts) Juan Carlos and Joshua Jackson join me to discuss what we think is gonna happen at Wrestlemania, Who should be moving up the roster from NXT and who in general deserves more crowd reactions. Worry not non-Wrestling fans, next week it’ll be back to the same old bullshit that you know and love from the Saint Mort Show.

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This is a wrestling packed episode. Brian Soscia is a former indie wrestler (who’s tag team The Legendary Trio of Chick Magnets is being inducted into the Right Coast Pro Hall of Fame. He’s also a DJ on Philadelphia’s Mix 106.1. Matt and Brian discuss indie wrestling, WWE, Wrestlemania, Roman Reigns, giving Daniel Bryan a ride to Ring of Honor, interviewing wrestlers on the radio and dealing with hip-hop producer/rapper’s egos behind the scenes.

Visit RightCoastPro for tickets to the Legendary Chick Magnet’s Hall of Fame induction on April 11th.

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