The WWE Slam Crate has been hyped up for a few months now, marking the wrestling company’s first foray into the subscription crate business. From figures to shirts and pins, many wrestling fans were anxious to see what a WWE themed box would contain. Well, we’ve received our first crate, and the results are as varied as the many personalities that fill the roster. With that said, here’s what’s inside!

With all of the promotion New Day has been doing with this crate, it’s no surprise that the centerpiece of the first crate centers around the trio. With that said, I never would have expected what we got. As the debut figure for the inaugural Slam Crate, we got Big E, Xavier and Kofi riding a unicorn. It’s just as bizarre as it sounds, which is why it’s easily the highlight of the box for me.

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When you want to look like a Boss, a blue pair of Sasha Banks’ glasses definitely help. These are pretty much identical to the gold pair we can buy from WWE Shop, but it never hurts to have variety. All we need are the “Legit Boss” hand accessories and we’re good to go!

If you’re not feeling much like a boss, you at least don’t want to look sawft. This Lootcrate exclusive Enzo and Cass shirt will show the world that you’re a certified G and a bonafide stud, even if you aren’t seven feet tall. Cass’ frame made me think it was a Lesnar shirt at first, but the comical proportions work for the team.

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No superstar would be complete without a bit of gold, so with the Slam Crate’s debut pin, we’re getting the classic winged eagle! Designed to look like the classic WWF championship from the late 80’s to the mid 90’s, this hefty pin is incredibly detailed, with its only real drawback being that its size and weight would make it a bit impractical to put on a lanyard. But it looks so nice, I’d rather display it or frame it than risk it falling off at a convention.

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Representing NXT, we got two items showing off the future of the WWE. First, the NXT patch will let you literally wear your fandom on your sleeve, or wherever you want it to go! Then, a preview of the upcoming Topps NXT trading card line gives us a look at Austin Aries. Labeled as an “NXT Prospect”, the back gives a brief history of The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived. It’s a great way to introduce fans who don’t watch NXT or don’t follow the indies to a guy like this, even if it is weird that someone who has been wrestling for over a decade is being called a “prospect”. Still, I get what they’re going for.

Lastly, this crate has plenty for the Dean Ambrose fans out there. This giant belt buckle shows off the Lunatic Fringe’s prominent logo, for those times you’re feeling like stealing a hot dog cart or making friends with a potted plant. Speaking of plants, what has to be a close runner up to the New Day figure for the best item in the box, you can have your very own Mitch! While Dean’s plant may be gone, it lives on through this mini plant encased in a bamboo pot. Definitely the most creative item in the set, Ican’t help but be excited over seeing this bad boy sprout.

That’s all we’ve got for the very first Slam Crate! From some weird figures, to an incredible pin and a potted plant, the variety of this debut box is surprising. With so much to love, what are your favorite items from the box? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to use the promo code “Geekscape” for a discount on your crate!

Not sure how it’s possible (well mostly because of brand split) but just two-three weeks out from SummerSlam and we’re already doing another Fantasy booking. This week we’re focusing on the Smackdown centric BACKLASH. Things are already off to a bad start when the best tag team in WWE (American Alpha) and the most recognizable face (John Cena) both aren’t available, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good time guessing what’s going to happen. Let’s start!

(Molly Note: I hope these brand specific pay per views are going to have a more Takeover/televised house show (Beast in the East, Roadblock, etc.) feel. Mostly cause circa late 2014 to late 2015 Takeover specials were the best and hell yeah I’m biased. But truly, if anyone could benefit from longer matches, more character development, and fewer feuds that were taken out of the trash and pieced back together like my senior thesis, it’s the cast of Smackdown.)

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MATCH #1 – THE USOS VS. THE HYPE BROS
(Winner of this match will challenge Heath Slater and Rhyno to be the first Smackdown Tag Champion)

THE USOS: Part of the growing list of Rock Relatives. They wear face-paint, give a battle chant, when they say Us we’re supposed to say Oh and until last week they were good guys… now they’re a bunch of bullies.

THE HYPE BROS: The Hypos is basically what happens when a can of Red Bull and a can of Jolt become sentient and decide to pursue wrestling careers.

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: The Usos have to win this one. They’re clearly building a massive feud for American Alpha vs. The Usos. It’s insane that the first solo Smackdown pay-per-view won’t have American Alpha on it (you know the team that was so good they created new tag belts just to get them on the team) but at least this has potential for more story.

MOLLY: Usos. How? CHEATING BECAUSE HEELS NOW

THE FUTURE:
MATT: The Hypo Bros will continue to be hype and win random matches against The Vaudevillians and other less important teams. Eventually they will break up and no one will notice or care. As for the Usos see the next match below…

MOLLY: The Hype Bros are hilarious once you get past the douchebaggery, so I’m hoping they can become a top comedy team on Smackdown. Mostly so Breezango can run it’s course, break up and Tyler can take his rightful place as Prince (Pretty) of Smackdown… But that’s another write up for another time. The Usos are the more established team going into this, and they’re on a more defined path than the Bros right now, so I wanna see them winning because…

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MATCH #2 – (WINNER OF PREVIOUS MATCH) Vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

HEATH SLATER: Was skipped during the Raw/Smackdown draft but damn it… he’s got like 10 kids to take care of so he’s working his ass off to get a contract.

RHYNO: He looks like a neck with legs and communicates mostly through spears and deep exhales. He’s also the winner of a recent Republican Primary. So that’s a thing.

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: The Usos win two in one night. If American Alpha isn’t going to be our first Smackdown tag champions it better not be for fucking Heath Slater and Rhyno.

MOLLY: Heath Slater and Rhyno, COME OOOOOOOON, IT’LL BE HILARIOUS. Plus if Rhyno’s run in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic taught me anything, it’s that two dudes that’ve never teamed together in their lives are better than teams with history and chemistry! The Usos are probs gonna go full heel and throttle them following the match anyway.

JOSH: After what happened on the go-home episode of Smackdown, there’s no chance The Uso’s don’t win both matches. The Hype Bros. don’t have a whole lot of credibility, so they can eat a clean loss. But after much teasing and some close near falls, the fan favorites in Rhyno and Heath will come up short.

DEREK: Hype Bros. vs. Rhyno and Slater for the final… with Hype Bros. definitely taking it home.

THE FUTURE:
MATT: The Usos will carry the belts until an important pay-per-view. WWE still sees them as one of their BIG gold mines. They will expect people don’t watch smackdown and won’t know that they’ve turned heel until they’re on a Pay-Per-View that matters. I could see them holding the titles into Survivor Series and winning against some low-tier tag team (maybe a now face Vaudevillians?) and lose it to American Alpha in the Royal Rumble.

Heath Slater and Rhyno will have a match at No Mercy to determine who gets the next Smackdown contract. Heath’s going to be a Free Agent for as long as Damien Sandow was a stunt double.

MOLLY: Heath and Rhyno are gonna go on a fun little run that won’t last too long cause Heath’s gotta get home to his kids and Rhyno’s gotta beat Trump for the presidency or something. Then a slightly more serious (but not that much more serious) heel team like the Vaudevillians or the Ascension will get the attention they deserve, take the titles off of them and hold on for a good long while. I hope the eventual American Alpha vs the Usos feud will be great. I don’t recall ever seeing the Usos play heel, but I have always wanted them to turn and play lackies to the mythical creature that is heel Roman Reigns in a Samoan Dynasty stable, so if they play anything along those lines, I’m in.

P.S. Sorry it’s not much, folks. But I thought it was gonna be American Alpha vs Heath and Rhyno. I didn’t learn until after writing up a fantasy booking for that that Gable is injured and this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me so I am now too depressed and can’t see through my tears to fantasy book this to it’s full extent #dicksoutforchadgable”

JOSH: Each team will go in a few different directions after this match. Heath will continue his storyline where he tries and fails to earn a contract, (without Rhyno now that the tag titles are gone,) while The Usos keep the titles warm for when American Alpha comes back.
DEREK: Breezango takes it at the next PPV. I can dream, can’t I? Or, you know, American Alpha can take them too.
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MATCH #3 – THE MIZ VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER FOR THE I.C. TITLE

THE MIZ: He’s awesome. He’s the best bad guy in WWE without competition. Everything about him is easy to hate but more importantly is fun to hate.

DOLPH ZIGGLER: Dolph Ziggler once mocked the Miz for being an actor. Dolph Ziggler is in a movie called Countdown, it’s terrible. He also will play Shawn Michaels and young Kurt Russell in both of their future biopics one day (at least he will in my fantasies)

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: Two weeks ago I’d have said Ziggler. If he’s going to lose to Dean he can at least beat Miz for a nice IC title run… but that was before Miz cut the promo of his life on Talking Smack. The Miz is one of the biggest reasons to watch Smackdown at this point. Him as a the cocky champ who doesn’t deserve to be champ is his perfect wheelhouse and he shouldn’t leave it any time soon. If nothing else this should continue the slow descent into Ziggler getting more heelish.

MOLLY: Dolph throws everything at the Miz that he threw at Ambrose. Miz, overwhelmed and unprepared, loses clean in a hard fought match where the crowd was super on Dolph’s side. Then have Dolph berate and turn on the crowd, the belt being the ultimate statement of “I did this without the fans’ help cause they suck but they love me anyway”

JOSH: This feud exists solely to transfer the heat from that infamous Daniel Bryan and The Miz Talking Smack segment, but they have a chance to tie this into Dolph’s character arch from last month. Because of this, (and the lack of any real build,) Miz retains while Ziggler continues to come up short.

DEREK: Though I’d love to see Ziggler get any sort of title time at this point in his career, The Miz and his never ending title run has just been too entertaining to have it come to an end now. After seeing that incredible Miz / Daniel Bryan promo (or was it) a few weeks back, it’s clear that he’s going to remain in the spotlight for some time.

THE FUTURE:

MATT: Ziggler will get more and more frustrated at his continuous loses and eventually goes heel. He’ll lose most matches he has against Apollo Crews and Curt Hawkings but will be victorious over Kalisto or Heath Slater.

The Miz will continue to be champion until they have someone else on Smackdown ready to be the 2nd face of the show (maybe Apollo Crews if they can find story for him) or until Smackdown signs another NXT talent. Can you imagine WWE signing Nakamura and how amazing those matches against The Miz could be?! The A-Lister who doesn’t like to get hit in the face vs the man who’s man offense is kicking you in the fucking face!? It’d be Miz’s finest moment since MizDow!

MOLLY: Ziggler’s been in a weird place, between forgetting his own backstory (why are you berating Baron Corbin for ‘not knowing his place’ when you knocked boots with Vicki Guerrero for years to get opportunities???? I don’t understand, bitch, I don’t understand) and the writers not being totally sure if he’s an asshole or not. Well since it’s MY fantasy booking and I LOVE assholes (the figurative kind, not- not literal… you get it), I dub Dolph the new Intercontinental champ and the title of El Hijo de Shawn Michaels. Clearly Dolph and I both are never going to be totally over Shawn Michaels retiring. Why not actually make use of the good parallels between Michaels and Ziggler? I so look forward to that rudo vs rudo rematch between Miz and Ziggler *rubs hands together while giggling evily*

What I learned from this fantasy booking write up: ‘evily’ isn’t a word… *giggling with evil intent*

JOSH: The Miz will ride this a bit longer, defending his “soft” style against the more athletic members of the Smackdown roster. Meanwhile, Dolph will finally snap and FINALLY turn heel. I mean, doesn’t he have to at this point? Otherwise, everything Dean said about him last month is true, which leaves him dead in the water. Then again, WWE has had a habit of having zero direction in the past, so direction-less Dolph isn’t out of the question either.

DEREK: It’s called The Miz’ Never Ending Intercontinental Championship World Tour. It’s going to continue forever.

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MATCH #4 – THE WOMEN’S SIX PACK CHALLENGE FOR THE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE

For this I originally wrote that I had no write-up because I didn’t have the time to write up 6 write-ups if the WWE was going to keep shoving all the women in one match. Molly pointed out this is just furthering the issues and provided the following 6 write ups.

NIKKI BELLA: Longest reigning Diva’s Champion of all time, definitely not cause she’s dating John Cena or cause WWE is trying to erase AJ Lee or anything.

BECKY LYNCH: Really likes steampunk and being Irish and making puns. Really doesn’t like being the only one of the 4 Horsewomen that hasn’t won a championship yet.

NAOMI: The girl from Just Dance

NATALYA: Should be the Ric Flair of the current women’s division, since 33 is elderly in female wrestler years, but booking still feels the need to wheel out her uncle, Bret “the Hitman” Hart, to get people to watch her matches (leavethemanaloneandlethisneicewrestlehastheHartfamilynotsufferedenough)

CARMELLA:  Enzo and Cass’ former hairdresser-turned-valet cause they got her fired for dumping hair removal cream on a poodle. Now she’s gone full angry Jersey Shore girl cause she’s not over with non-NXT fans (and you can’t teach that!)

ALEXA BLISS: She was NXT’s Princess Kimber Lee, then NXT’s Sunny for the tag team Blake & Murphy, now she’s Miss Piggy if a muppet could also be a gymnast

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: Because I’m hopelessly in love with her, obviously I want Becky Lynch to win this… but the writer in me says no way it’s not going on a heel and while Alexa Bliss is more talented than anyone will give her credit for… Smackdown’s women’s division is about Becky Lynch and the best person for her story right now is Natalya.

MOLLY: Becky Lynch. Between Takeover: Unstoppable and Wrestlemania 32, Becky is gonna use the collective suffering of her fans to finally pull out the big one we’ve been waiting for… and by big one I mean a REALLY BIG TOP HAT- no seriously, give the woman a title already.

JOSH: Man, this women’s division is kind of pathetic, isn’t it? Because of how thin the roster is, I can’t see anyone winning this credibility wise than Nikki Bella. Becky would be my choice, but she’s direction-less, alongside Natalya, Alexa and Naomi. That leaves Carmella as the only other choice, who is far too new to be the top woman of the show. Then again, being the top woman in a six person division might not be so bad… You know what? I changed my mind! I’m going with Carmella as the winner. You can’t call it a new era or a woman’s revolution while making the face of the vapid Diva’s Division of old the inaugural champion.

DEREK: While I’ve been eager to see Natalya with a belt for some time now (yes, she has mic issues but I love her as an in-ring performer), Becky better win. She’s been so close too many times, and the Lass Kicker deserves it more than anyone else on the Smackdown roster. That said, I could also see Nikki going for one more title reign before she says goodbye to the squared circle for good.

THE FUTURE:
MATT: Carmella and Nikki Bella will have a match in the No Mercy pre-show next month. If there’s a god in the sky we will get Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss on that Pay-Per-View to determine #1 contender for Natalya at Survivor Series (which should be Becky’s time to shine). The rest of the women will have mini but ultimately unimportant spats over the next two months. Whoever is NOT going for the Smackdown or Raw Women’s titles will find themselves in a “Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women” survivor series match in November.

MOLLY: This is where the constant face-to-heel-and-back turns of the women’s division really grind my gears. I would LOVE to see newly crowned champion Becky forced to prove herself and fail against super powerful heel Nikki Bella. If you thought WWE was booking Eva Marie like the Terminator, then Nikki is the T-1000 of the Women’s division. But I guess I can settle for a feud with Bliss to follow a Becky win. Mostly because Bliss made a great first opponent when Bayley became NXT Women’s Champ, and cause if Becky wasn’t the #1 most deserving NXT Women’s Champ that never came to be, Alexa was definitely next in line.

Plus Bliss and ‘Mella could really use a lot of spotlight time to showcase their characters. No one cares that Carmella is apparently heel now cause they never got to see her play clueless heel in her ICONIC series of matches with Blue Pants. Alexa can say more in a snarl and an eyeroll than Seth Rollins can say in a RAW opener, and I ain’t too proud to beg a couple camera guys to start focusing in on that.

JOSH: Nikki and Carmella will continue their feud, where Nikki will inevitably win. Depending on whether or not she decides she wants to be a face or heel that week, she’ll run through the roster until Becky finally gets her moment and takes the belt off of her. Expect some NXT call-ups, or even some new girls signed straight to Smackdown. They can’t maintain a division this thin.

DEREK: If Becky wins, Nikki is coming for that championship, I can definitely sense a rivalry brewing here.

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MATCH #5 – RANDY ORTON VS. BRAY WYATT

RANDY ORTON: He’s Mark David Chamption to Cerebral’s everywhere

BRAY WYATT: He’s if Charles Manson starred in Deliverance. He’s a prophet of doom and claims to be a God. He can be dope when used correctly … but that hasn’t been the case for a while unfortunately.

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: Bray Wyatt needs a win in the same way that I need a girlfriend, because it’s been forever since the last one and we both deserve it at this point… even if just out of pity. I know people are saying after Orton’s match with Lesnar he deserves a win but that is dumb thinking. The New Era shouldn’t be based on 40+ year old guys winning matches against fresh new talent, that’s just plain dumb. Bray has the potential to be the best evil force in years… but he can’t achieve that by losing time and time again.

MOLLY: Wyatt via Familial shenanigans? Erik Rowan makes a run in to try to help Bray. Just to fuck up in ways only Rowan is capable and nearly costing Bray the match. But out of sheer violent rage spite, Bray lays waste to Rowan and his win over Orton is just the collateral damage. Erik Rowan makes a run in to try to help Bray. Just to fuck up in ways only Rowan is capable and nearly costing Bray the match.

JOSH: This match feels like a no-win situation, because both guys need to come out of this match on top. Between the two however, Orton needs it more, especially with his rematch with Brock coming up soon. So unfortunately for Bray, Orton is going to take this one.

DEREK:  I’ve not really had the time to grow to love either of these superstars, but after Orton’s bloody (losing) return at Summerslam, they have to give him this one. Sure, Wyatt has been out and injured as well, but Orton for way, way longer, and it won’t take long for the Wyatt family’s squash-fests to continue.

THE FUTURE:
MATT: Randy Orton continues to be a face and gets himself involved in a match against Baron Corbin by November or December. Like think about that for a second? The biggest question is what will make us scream “holy shit” louder … An End of Days attempt turning into an RKO or an RKO attempt turning into the End of Days?

Bray Wyatt will just be an unbeatable beast stomping his way throughout the Smackdown card. After taking out the viper, he should either feud with Dean Ambrose (although a little been there done that) or Apollo Crews to take away his smile a bit.

MOLLY: I’m mostly stoked that I may be getting my booking from Summerslam, and my predictions are NEVER right! (Ask Matt to reenact my NXT Takeover: London freak out when I loudly thought “But what if someone does a Jack the Ripper entrance?” And then Finn Bálor ACTUALLY DID IT). So I still want Orton to be manipulated by Bray into turning into the roughest, most calloused of heels. But following this match, Bray is going to make an example out of Rowan and show Orton how much fun it is to utterly decimate someone. Hopefully this also works to turn Rowan face and break him away from the Wyatt Family for a singles run that doesn’t feel like it’ll inevitably end in a reunion at Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble (but who the fuck am I kidding, of course it will).

JOSH: It’s hard to see either of these guys doing much else until the next big Pay Per View, so I don’t see how their feud doesn’t continue after this. Orton wins this match, loses against Brock, and Bray gets into his head after the second loss, which will lead to Bray winning the feud. This will separate them for the inevitable Orton vs AJ feud.

DEREK: Bray Wyatt is quickly going to move in for that Smackdown championship.

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MATCH #6 – DEAN AMBROSE VS. A.J. STYLES FOR WWE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BELT

DEAN AMBROSE: He’s like Uncle Jesse on Full House mixed with Killing Joke era Joker

AJ STYLES: He beat John Cena. Clean. If you don’t know wrestling at all… even you know that’s a super big deal.

WHO’S GONNA WIN:
MATT: AJ Styles needs a belt as soon as possible. I love Dean… but fuck that guy, it’s AJ O’Clock. There’s no one in WWE with a better understanding of how to be a respected wrestler and hatable heel at the same time like A.J. Styles has proven to be the master of over the last few weeks.

MOLLY: Dean Ambrose via the dirtiest of unclean finishes, and I’m not talking “dirty deeds”! … There’s a joke in here somewhere but leave me alone, I’m still sore and tired from Chikara King of Trios last weekend (now available for viewing on Chikaratopia! Yeah I did it #shameless)

JOSH: Styles has FAR too much momentum after beating Cena for him to lose. Being that he’s the most talented guy in the ring, and one of the most talented people on the mic, it’s not a bad transition to make. Unfortunately for Ambrose, outside of his promos with Ziggler, he hasn’t exactly set the world on fire with his run. For the good of the brand, Styles has to walk out with the win. What is it about AJ’s being the best at their craft, anyway? Hmm…

DEREK:  As much as I’ve been loving Ambrose in his championship run, Styles simply has to take this one. He’s proven that he’s one of the best by beating ‘The Face That Runs The Place’ John Cena on not one, but two occasions, and it would simply look weird to see him lose against the (very talented) likes of Ambrose after his victory at Summerslam. Yep, Styles takes it… and I’m really glad that I’m not a betting man because I’m also terrible at predicting things.

THE FUTURE:
MATT: Dean will definitely go for a rematch which Bray Wyatt will interrupt to set up a feud between the two of them. AJ Styles will hold the belt and most likely wrestle John Cena again in November or December. AJ deserves as long of a run has humanly possible because he really is on a different level right now… I don’t know if we can thank him or the writers or have to thank both but I’m stoked to see what top notch amazing he brings us this Sunday.

MOLLY: I’m trying to build Ambrose into a pretty strong, in-it-for-the-long-haul champion. I feel like that’s necessary for Smackdown since as RAW has had to deal with so much unpredictability involving the Universal Title (by Clash of Champions there will have already been 3 matches for it and at least 5 former contenders). So I hope Ambrose holds on to the title for now, uses his status to push some guys like Apollo Crews and Baron Corbin into legitimate threats, and keeps up with this “my square, don’t care” attitude. Let him get under the GM’s skin and act more like he runs the place. I’m sure we’re all happy with Ambrose’s impression of Heath Ledger’s Joker but please let me see Ambrose get so full of his own hype that he tries to hold Smackdown hostage and go full Arkham Asylum Joker.

As for AJ, I like that this booking has him playing subtle face to Ambrose’s role of not-really-heel-but-still-kind-of-a-dick. I’d be cool if Ambrose cheated and it lead to a stronger AJ face turn. I’d be cool if this ended in a DQ that doesn’t weaken either guy. Make it clear AJ should have won and we should all be rightfully pissed he’s not champ. So when Ziggler interrupts him the next episode and rubs it in AJ’s face that he could win his match and AJ couldn’t (much like AJ to Dolph following Summerslam), it sets up for an Intercontinental title match in the future to further elevate that title.

JOSH: After the inevitable rematch clause is pushed out of the way, the AJ vs Ambrose and Orton vs Bray feuds will switch opponents. Dean and Bray will give each other something to do until the Royal Rumble, while AJ vs. Orton will carry us into Wrestlemania season.

DEREK: I know that Cena is going to be out for some time (damned TV career), but if Styles takes it, I see the third Styles vs. Cena match being a championship match… with Cena bringing home the belt.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Summerslam than Wrestlemania. It just always feels like Wrestlemania is always super hyped up only to be a letdown, Summerslam I tend to go in with low expectations only to be shocked by how good the show is.

This year the card for Summerslam is STACKED. There are 4-5 matches that should/could be the main event. It should be a great night! Before we start though it should be noted that a few matches were announced before our article deadline so beyond the 11 matches below there is also going to be an American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros vs The Ascension/Vaudevillians/Breezango match (yes the one you already saw on Smackdown) as well as Sami & Neville vs The Dudleyz. Molly wanted the record to show that news of the second match made her cry with joy that two of her favorites were having a match together and ran to hug her Elite Neville figure.

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MATCH #1: CARMELLA, BECKY LYNCH AND NAOMI VS NATALYA, ALEXA BLISS & TBD

What you need to know about the Match:
I’ll avoid breaking down everything about each of these women. This match was basically an after thought to get the Smackdown women’s roster on TV. Eva Marie was on the match until 48 hours ago when she failed her wellness policy leaving things up in the air.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – I’m still not even sure if this going to be a handicap match or not. I’d love for it to be a return of Emma or something. Either way I’m putting money in that it comes down to Becky getting a pin on Nattie for the win.

Molly May – Lynch, Mella, and Naomi cause you done goofed up, Eva, and I guess whoever’s booking Becky is done watching me suffer and too occupied with wondering what they’re gonna replace this episode of Total Divas with. Becky will make Nattie tap to the ‘dis-arm-her’ for retribution and to give this match at least some semblance of meaning.

Josh Jackson – I *thought* that Eva would no show the match, only to grace us with her presence mid contest and steal the win for her team. With her recent suspension however, it leaves a lot of possibilities up in the air. My gut tells me someone will replace her, but with no heels on NXT even being close to ready for that spot, I’m guessing they just work Eva’s abscence into the story of the match, leaving the heels at a 2 on 3 advantage before succumbing to Becky, Naomi and Carmella.

Derek Kraneveldt – I do enjoy Natalya in-ring, but any team with Becky Lynch on it is the team for me. She consistently puts on fantastic performances, and I’d really, really like to see her take the belt from Sasha at some point.  I’m not overly familiar with Alexa Bliss or Carmella, and I don’t hate Eva Marie as much as everyone else does (well, who is now no longer even in the match), so at the very least it’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out. This one seems like it could end in submission for sure.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – It’s really hard to book any of these girls right now but I hope that we get a Smackdown women’s belt or something because Lynch and Bliss both need title reigns already. Neither even got to hold the NXT title and both deserved it.

Molly May – This match kind of makes me want to scream. Because it’s a glaring reminder that even though the Women’s Championship match this year is main event caliber, the WWE doesn’t know what the hell to do with women if they aren’t chasing a belt or a boy. I’ll take a six-pack challenge, 3 individual singles matches, battle royal that ends in Nia Jax cleaning house, a mini tournament where the winner gets to kick “All Wellness Everything”’s ass for denying us a women’s match every week Smackdown’s been live. I hope all those things happen on Smackdown in the weeks that follow Summerslam! Can you imagine; potentially 3 women’s feuds going on at once?! Just PLEASE, anything but another. Damnass. Pointless. Tag match!

Josh Jackson – The women will get their own title soon, which has essentially been confirmed. So this match won’t really matter, since I’m expecting all six girls to be in the mix. Let’s hope Becky finally pulls off that elusive title win, but I’m guessing Eva might sneak away with it to build up more heat on her.

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MATCH #2 ENZO & CASS VS. JERICHOWENS

What you need to know about the Match:

Enzo & Cass – Take the New Age Outlaws and mix them with the cast of the Jersey shore and it gives you one of the most popular additions to WWE this year. They’re basically the wrestling version of Joey the Rat and Frankie the Enforcer from Boy Meets World.

Jerichowens – I’m not sure if they have an actual team name but what the hell else do you call the combination of Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens?

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – There’s no reason not to let Enzo and Cass win this but it kills me to say it… this is one of the few who cares matches on an otherwise stacked card. There’s really no point to this match beyond getting Enzo and Cass on the pay-per-view because they’re super over but they’re faces and can’t possibly go against the Tag Team Champs who are also faces. I do see Owens backstabbing Jericho at the end of this. Kevin Owens hates losing, little known fact.

Molly May – Enzo and Cass win do to Owens abandoning Jericho and realizing what an asshole he’s been

Josh Jackson – Enzo and Cass are over to the point where a loss won’t hurt them, especially against guys as credible as Y2KO. Owens also needs a big win coming off his loss against Sami last month. Enzo takes the fall as Owens wins with a Pop Up Powerbomb after Jericho finds an underhanded way to take Cass out of the picture.

Derek Kraneveldt –  I have no idea who’s going to win this one. Heck, I don’t even know who I’d like to see win this one.  Both are phenomenal pairings, and while its obvious that Enzo and Cass will far outlast the team of Y2KO (remember how long Y2AJ stuck around for), I’d really, really like to see Y2KO celebrate some wins.  That said, Enzo may be better on the mic than Jericho himself, and if I could see this feud continue after this Sunday, I would absolutely love for it to do just that.  No clue on this one, but if I had to guess, I’d say that Enzo and Cass take it.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – I firmly believe this match is strictly to build a Owens/Jericho feud. It will end with Owens killing Jericho (metaphorically). Jericho has a Fozzy Future in his sights and what better way to write him off than a giant injury that gives Owens another name to add to his list of friends he’s put into the hospital.

Molly May –  Look at how guilty Owens looks when Jericho says they’re like brothers. No one does ‘the desolate look’ as well as Owens; that look of “I’ve accepted that I destroyed my relationship with my best friend and now I’m in a whatever tag match and he’s sort of on the card but I’m too proud to admit I screwed up and now I can’t go back”. Watch that intro to RAW back-to-back with the last Steen vs Generico match. It’s heartbreaking.

That said, why are Owens and Jericho even teaming up? Over a mutual dislike of Enzo and Cass? Maybe this is when Owens realizes how terribly he’s gone about all this and lets his fellow NXT grads get the win. So the next night on RAW, Owens can declare that the ‘new era’ is superior to Jericho’s ‘attitude’ and he’s the rightful face of the new era. Jericho is old news and was holding him back. Have Kevin earn (or better yet, beg Stephanie McMahon for) number one contendership to the Universal title. Have Jericho do the same with Foley, begging to fight Rollins or Bálor while acting like he doesn’t remember putting down Mick. Cause confused dad Jericho is the best Jericho.

Josh Jackson – This feud will surely continue for at least another month, with excellent back and forth promos to continue building the hype. Regardless of who wins, Enzo and Cass can’t be far from the tag title picture. How you doin’?

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MATCH #3 CESARO VS. SHEAMUS

What you need to know about the Match:

Cesaro – To explain Cesaro it’d feel like I’m making it up. He’s a big dude in tearaway suits who’s finisher is swinging people around … sounds dumb on paper but it’s fucking awesome in practice. He’s also one of the best wrestlers in the fucking company.

Sheamus – He’s tall, Irish and was in the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He looks like when Dr. Zoidberg is in The Frenzy

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Hey Guys! We’re gonna get to see 6 more of these matches over the next few months. Isn’t that exciting! The first 3 or 4 simply wasn’t enough. Cesaro won a shit ton of them already so Sheamus will most likely win this one, Summerslam tends to be a pretty heel victory centric pay-per-view.

Molly May – Sheamus wins. Cesaro’s been on a hot streak and if we’re really supposed to believe that this is an even match deserving of a series, Sheamus could definitely use the win on this one. After the fight spills out into the crowd, the two will beat each other to the point where neither can stand. Sheamus makes it in, appears to be getting the count out victory, until Cesaro makes it in and runs straight into a final brogue kick.

Josh Jackson – Why we’re starting a best of seven series after these guys have fought twice in three weeks is mind boggling. Having no announced reward to fight for is even worse. Even still, considering Sheamus is 0-2 against the Swiss Superman, he has to win this one. I say clean with a Brogue Kick to build his credibility as we move forward in this series.

Derek Kraneveldt –  This seems like the weird random matchup of popular superstars that creative couldn’t really fit anywhere else. I don’t really see what everyone else sees in Cesaro. His return was the first time I’d ever seen him in a match, and he just seems kind of… cheesy. His uppercuts look weird and super fake, the Cesaro Swing seems like something a father would play with their child (he doesn’t even throw them), and his taunts look like a weird kid pretending to punch things. On the other hand, now that Sheamus just has a regular beard, I’m down. He wins this round.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – We had the audacity to cheer for Cesaro and form our own sections in his honor. He will feud with Sheamus until the sound of sirens make us start screaming uncontrolably “NO NOT AGAIN” We are all  Pavlov dogs in Vince McMahons demented test.

Molly May – We have to watch this match 6 more times. I don’t think I can watch any two wrestlers with little to no history between them in 7 different matches over the course of months. And I can watch a lot of Cesaro matches. Who’s really winning here.

Josh Jackson – This feud will likely carry into Raw’s next PPV, where Cesaro will ultimately win in seven, (as it always does in wrestling). Regardless, I see Cesaro ending up on Smackdown one way or another, while Sheamus continues to float around aimlessly.

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MATCH #4 BROCK LESNAR VS. RANDY ORTON

What you need to know about the Match:

Randy Orton – Randy thinks he’s a snake and spends most of his free time being a meme.

Brock Lesnar – Brock is a former UFC Champion who once murdered a car with his bare hands. He’s the most believably scary wrestlers in history.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  If there’s one thing I’m positive about it’s that Brock Lesnar is going to walk out still the undefeated beast. You can’t spend two+ years building Brock into this monster who dismantled John Cena, The Undertaker and Roman Reigns only for Randy Orton to beat him. That’s just dumb. Orton won’t lose clean though, Bray Wyatt is gonna come and fuck shit up.

Molly May – Brock wins with at least 7 German suplexes, 3 F-5’s and 2 middle fingers. Orton gets at least one good near fall off an RKO outta nowhere, but c’mon, Orton’s not ending Brock’s winning streak. I’m also gonna piggy-back off Matt’s booking and say Bray Wyatt gets involved in this match. You don’t show Orton and Wyatt having a stare down DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK if it doesn’t have some significance. Give Orton a fighting chance until Bray gets involved and then there’s no question that Brock’s gonna pin Orton clean.

Josh Jackson – As much as I would love one of my all time favorites in Orton go over one of my least favorites of all time in Lesnar, it’s not going to happen. Orton has little to gain from a victory, while Lesnar will continue to be protected until their new chosen one will slay the beast on a much bigger stage. Still, an F5 into an RKO is almost guaranteed, while I’m crossing my fingers for a return of the punt, fines be damned. Aside from that, don’t be shocked if we get the same lazy Brock match where he suplexes his opponent a thousand times before wrapping things up with an F5, minus the RKO reversal.

Derek Kraneveldt – This one is super tough, mostly because I have never seen Orton wrestle, and in the eight months that I’ve been watching WWE I’ve only seen Lesnar a handful of times, and his only match that I wasn’t disappointed with was the Ambrose v. Reigns v. Lesnar match from Fastlane (when Brock suplexed both of his appointments at once, man).

I think that this one is going to Orton. He’s been out for so long that it would be crazy not to give this huge a superstar a win on his return, and while Lesnar had a ton of buzz after winning at UFC 200… A couple of positive blood tests quickly turned that buzz negative.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – People seem to think an Orton loss will somehow hurt him, but I doubt that. As for Brock, he needs to be beaten by someone that’s been under utilized. Randy Orton will feud with Bray, and lose. Brock will also want Bray since Wyatt has made his win a little less legit. Eventually we will get a match with Brock vs Bray Wyatt and Bray does the impossible and pins Brock. It’s at that moment that Bray cuts a promo against the dead man about how Bray Wyatt could beat the one man Taker couldn’t. This leads to match where Wyatt retires Taker.

Molly May – Hopefully this leads to a more vicious viper on Smackdown. With face vs face main eventing on the Smackdown side at Summerslam, we need a good vile heel like Orton was in 2010. Have Bray and Orton feud and, like Wyatt did when his main goal in feuds was to recruit members of his family, influence Orton and manipulate him to remember how much more fun it is to ruin people’s lives than to go after championships. Lesnar will follow this match with more part-timing and not giving a shit about your kids. He’ll probably stay pissed off enough to still wanna take on Wyatt at Wrestlemania down the line so we can get the match that had to be postponed.

Josh Jackson –Lesnar will disappear from main roster storylines until the Royal Rumble, while Orton fills the Cena roll of gate keeping veteran. A Bray Wyatt feud would be something new once he’s out of the title picture, but I’m thinking Orton will sell his injuries and rest up for a few weeks until that program is ready to start.

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MATCH #5 THE MIZ VS APOLLO CREWS

What you need to know about the Match:

The Miz – Former Reality Star turned into douchey C-level actor who thinks he’s an A-lister. He’s the best character player in WWE today

Apollo Crews – This man should be one of the biggest guys in WWE but they don’t know what do with him. He is a genuine ball of positivity.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – The Miz is no longer the Champ come next Smackdown. I’m saying it. The Miz has done an excellent job at the Chicken Shit heel role he was born to play but they need to do something with Apollo. He’s officially less utilized than Tyler Breeze or Neville at this point.

Molly May – Maryse distracts the referee while Miz gets in a low blow-eye rake-Mid-South as hell-cheap shot to get the win. After Crews clearly gets a 3 count that the ref missed.

Josh Jackson – I love The Miz, and feel like he should keep the IC Title for a long time. Yet, with how this feud has been built, if Miz wins, then Apollo far too damaged to be worth it. The story being told is that Miz has barely noticed who his opponent is, since he’s not taking the young star seriously. Smackdown is supposed to be the show of opportunity, and that will show when Apollo earns his first title in the WWE.

Derek Kraneveldt – Apollo Crews is a pretty interesting superstar to me. He seems so freaking physically talented, and is even fine on the mic the few times that I’ve actually heard him… But I still don’t really have a sense of his character. At this point he has some great in-ring moves, but isn’t interesting at all beyond that.

With that being the case, I’d love to see The Miz win. I hated the dude when I first started watching, but he definitely grew on me as the pretentious A-Lister once again became intercontinental champion (though I’m sad that he took it from Ryder) and began his newest reign.  Also, his Facebook page is hilarious.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Obviously there will be a Miz rematch and it’ll be good, it will be followed by another higher older profile feud with someone like Kane or Del Rio but the point where he will really start to shine will be in a big match against Baron Corbin. I could see him losing the belt to Baron maybe around the time of the Rumble.

Molly May – The Miz has had some awesome matches against the new breed of wrestlers in WWE. Remember how fans joked that Miz should be retroactively made a member of the Ring of Honor 2010 roster following the Fatal 4 Way with Cesaro, Owens, and Zayn at Extreme Rules? Actually make Miz have the mentality that he ranks amongst the best of NXT. If you can’t beat em, join em. And Miz knows he can’t beat em. So it leads to increasingly paranoid champ Miz who only gets wins by the skin of his teeth and blatant cheating. He freaks out worse and worse as the fluke wins pile up and gets messier at hiding his insecurities. Until a more confident Baron Corbin, or an underdog-turned-contender Kalisto, or a rematch with a more experienced Apollo Crews takes the belt off Miz by the end of the year.

Josh Jackson – As always, a rematch will play out, which I’ll go out on a limb for and say that Miz will regain it then. Apollo will ultimately lose the feud, but Miz will be forced to bring his A game, elevating the Apollo in the process.

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MATCH #6 RUSEV VS ROMAN REIGNS

What you need to know about the Match:

Rusev – The Bulgarian Brute fighting in honor of Russia. Just think Rocky IV, that’s really all you need to know about Rusev.

Roman Reigns – In 2013 Reigns was part of the Shield and everyone loved him. Then he opened his mouth and we realized he had the personality of a Jar of Mayo.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  Rusev retains. Please god let Rusev retain. We got this match as the main event on Monday with Reigns winning… that was Reigns win. Now it’s Rusev’s turn to wreck house.

Molly May – Reigns passes out after refusing to tap to Rusev’s ‘Accolade’ which he holds for no less than 5 straight minutes, while screaming for no less than 7 straight minutes because Reigns accidentally spears Lana

Josh Jackson – Well… Rusev has to be my favorite wrestler on the main roster, while Roman is one of my least. Still, I figured there’s no way that Rusev carries the US Title past Sunday, considering the company still seems dead set on pushing their golden boy to the moon.

That was, until last Monday.
Since Roman got the clean win on free TV, (and sucking out most of the enthusiasm for their PPV match in the process), Rusev will retain one way or another. Whether its via DQ, or by cheating for a dirty win, Rusev will survive for a little bit longer.

Derek Kraneveldt – This has been a fantastic feud thus far.  I’m a Roman fan (the only WWE shirt I have at this point is a Reigns one, for instance), and honestly, that suspension may have been the best thing to happen to him in some time.

Since his return, the crowd has actually seemed into him (and oh god that insane Roman booing is annoying and it makes me feel so bad for him), and his screen time each week has been some of the most interesting since I began watching. He’s building instead of simply being the ‘Big Dog’, and he’s all the better for it.  That said, I think Rusev is taking it. The feud and Roman’s return still seem a little too fresh for a title change, so I’d imagine that the feud continues beyond this weekend, and Roman takes it in the rematch.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Rusev needs to just wreck house with no one winning that belt. Who takes down the Giant? Well hear me out on this but … Mojo Rawley. Yeah I know sounds stupid, probably will be… but at Battleground after Rusev smashed Zack Ryder into a day-glow stain in the middle of the ring Mojo came out and stared Rusev down. Rusev (and the rest of the world) immediately got to joking about how stupid that pairing is. Rusev commented multiple times about needing a “real challenger”. I see Mojo and Rusev being in a Survivor Series match together in which Mojo emasculates Rusev. This causes Ru-Ru to demand that he prove he is the better man and he’s willing to risk the US Title changing shows. Spoiler Alert… that shit is changing shows at The Rumble.

Molly May – I want Rusev to go on a tear. Have this win breathe new life into him. Make him realize how close he was to losing the championship, and possibly losing Lana. He won’t be made a fool of anymore and he’s going to wreck Sami Zayn in Sami’s attempt to earn a title the right way (unlike Kevin who’s sucking up for Universal Championship shots) and prove he could win the title that caused his shoulder injury. And wreck Neville in a showcase that he’s a fantastic technical/submission wrestler on top of being the best high flyer (AND a high profile match would do good things for the superstar that I expect will be the cornerstone of the cruiserweight division). And then wreck Darren Young after he’s cheated his way to the #1 contendership spot without Coach Bob Backlund’s knowledge. I expect Roman’s gonna get a rematch for no real reason, and I could see him enter a feud with Owens over who really deserves to represent the new era (surprise, it’s neither of them cause the real representatives are already fighting over the belt at Summerslam). Mostly I want Roman to get increasingly angry as the odds are stacked against him and his losses pile up and Ambrose and Rollins’ reigns keep get longer and longer…

Josh Jackson –Even if Rusev retains, he won’t be champion for long. Roman will get a rematch next month, with The Big Dog pulling through and winning the title on his second try. My guess is he’ll hold the title until the company is ready to put him back into the title picture, while Rusev moves on to a filler feud against the new WWE Universal Champion.

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MATCH #7 THE NEW DAY VS THE CLUB

What you need to know about the Match:

The New Day – When this tag team debuted they were potentially the most hated thing in WWE at the time… then they found their footing in pop culture references and wacky antics and EXPLODED. They’re our current WWE Champions

The Club – This duo were HUGE in Japan but super under utilized by WWE, lately they’ve been making testicle jokes on Raw.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly –  New Day had a good run but it’s time for them to lose and The Club could use a good push to make people feel slightly threatened by them again. The only way I see New Day retaining is if they have it look like Kofi and Xavier are beaten and then Big E makes his triumphant return to save them. But that’s unlikely, there’s no more stories to tell with New Day as champions.

Molly May – I think The Club will win… but I want the New Day to win. THE CLUB WINS WITH CHEATING. Lots and lots of cheating. And the fastest “Magic Killer” you’ve ever seen (cause no move was more appropriately named for ending New Day’s reign)

Josh Jackson –Man… I really wanted this to finally be the time where The Club finally lives up to their massive paychecks and take the tag team titles. Considering how little they’ve accomplished since their debut however, and their first big post brand split feud revolving around ruptured balls… I just can’t see a change of the guard take place under these circumstances. New Day takes it after Big E returns for the destraction.

Derek Kraneveldt – If Gallows and Anderson win I will not watch wrestling anymore.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – The New Day will obviously get a rematch this time with Big E by their side but they will lose. Tag Team after Tag Team will lose in their quest for the Tag Belts. The Club will brag about how no one can touch them and American Alpha will continue to not lose on Smackdown. It’ll be decided at that Wrestlemania these two unstoppable teams will come head to head. American Alpha walk out as Tag Team Champions and bring it to Smackdown.

Molly May – Being down Big E evens the playing field, and if this was Anderson and Gallows straight off the heels of Wrestle Kingdom 10, I’d call a Club win, no question. I could talk all day about how much I love New Japan, especially the Bullet Club in all its’ variations (my first New Japan match was Omega vs Devitt for the Light Heavyweight title so, yeah, duh). There’s nothing I would love more than to see The New Day ousted by a fully reunited, mad strong Biz Cliz after New Day’s outstanding run. In the best situation I could’ve booked, The Club would’ve debuted as Bálor Club at NXT Takeover: Dallas, we’d have gotten heel Finn by the draft after a slow burn turn on NXT TV, and he’d fight a babyface Rollins at Summerslam in a build for the eventual Rollins vs Triple H. But now, to try booking all that is way too much too soon.

So assuming The Club wins, they shouldn’t lose ONCE with those titles. They should blatantly cheat in every match and hold on to those titles at all costs and appear un-fuck-withable. Make the New Day consider turning to their old tricks and start cheating again, too. Rework how Enzo and Cass were booked in NXT; they lose in their first PPV match for the title, have to re-earn their shot in a build to take them as a serious threat, and at one of the shared big 4 PPVs, bring out their Smackdown secret weapon Carmella and give the Realest Guys the clean win. Always keep some space between the Club and Bálor, AND all of them and Styles. Until all 4 are holding gold. Then as ‘Mania rolls around and they’re title-less while their old buddies are at the top, start to make the Club question where their loyalties really lie.

Josh Jackson – I have no idea to be honest. The Club needs to take some time away from the spotlight and rebuild, possibly by tearing down some lower tier tag teams and come off as a threat again. As of now, it’s very hard to take them seriously, especially if you don’t know about their history in Japan. As for New Day, Big E will return to the fold while the team continues to hold the tag team titles until Enzo and Cass are ready to take them. Probably in a multi man match since I don’t see a face vs face match as of yet. Either way, this tag division is starved on both shows since the split, and need some kind of talent injection quick.

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MATCH #8 SASHA BANKS VS. CHARLOTTE

What you need to know about the Match:

Sasha Banks – Sasha is the current women’s champion, snoop dogg’s cousin and one of the dopest women’s wrestlers out there.

Charlotte – Charlotte was the previous Women’s Champion and daughter of Ric Flair. She’s a real spoiled bitch (at least the character, I’m sure the real life person is lovely).

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Sasha Banks is absolutely retaining here. I don’t know if it will be a clean finish however, based on a recent segment on Raw I see Dana Brook intentionally costing Charlotte the belt. Maybe even a run in from Bayley and Becky Lynch to make it go full four horsewomen.

Molly May – Since Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, Ric Flair makes an appearance to help Charlotte win. But not to worry, because Bayley runs in to try to stop him. Tell me you don’t wanna see a bayley-to-belly on the nature boy so Sasha can retain the title in Brooklyn.

Josh Jackson –With Dana banned from ringside, we should finally get the Charlotte match many of us have been waiting on for a long time. Even still, there’s no way Sasha loses the title so soon after her big moment. Charlotte will prove herself as a worthy performer on her own, but Sasha will retain with the Banks Statement.

Derek Kraneveldt – These two have so much history, and I really cannot wait to see them get back into the ring.  I like Charlotte and her superiority complex, but I found her title run fairly boring and extremely repetitive.

Almost every month, I’d be sure that THIS TIME Charlotte would lose, and fairly… Only to be proven wrong time and time again. It got to the point where the methods of cheating weren’t even entertaining anymore, and the best part of the matches were simply when they were over. She even disowned her father… and the cheating continued.

Then out of nowhere, she lost it, and it wasn’t even on a PPV. Tensions have been building ever since, and while myself and likely every other member of the WWE Universe thinks and hopes that the belt stays in Sasha’s hands, we’re behind excited for what could be the best match of the evening.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – I’d love to see Dana allign herself back up with Emma. Perhaps after breaking from Charlotte she starts setting her sights on Sasha. I’m definitely seeing the next pay-per-view featuring a Sasha vs. Dana match (or even better Sasha vs. Emma if she’s healed up and ready to go). I eagerly await when we get a Sasha vs. Nia series (because that will happen).

Molly May – More than likely Charlotte’s future is in a feud to elevate Dana. Now since Ric tried to help in Brooklyn despite being disowned, and Dana was no help at all, Charlotte hates them both. Perfect reason for Ric to take Dana under his wing and make her ‘the next nature girl’. When Emma makes her return, she asks Dana what the hell happened and questions if they were ever friends at all. That leads to Emma vs Dana and the two of them realigning in the end. Hopefully this also garners more sympathy for Charlotte and a slow face turn while Sasha gets cockier and cockier as her winning streak gets more impressive. I don’t want Sasha going full heel since she’s still so well liked… but I also want Sasha vs Bayley for Wrestlemania…

So you know those “we want Sasha” chants? They become “heyyyyy we want so Bayley!” chants. Bayley is main roster official now, and she’s so loved, and wanted in every match, and getting every opportunity and “she hasn’t even won a match yet!” Sasha screams, cause wtf, Bayley? Think you’re so great, being a good person and hugging everyone. Bayley presents herself very humbly, but wins matches flawlessly. She beats Sasha with ease on RAW in a non-title match after weeks of build and it drives Sasha insane. To the point where she refuses to defend the title against Bayley until Bayley “proves” herself while Sasha runs roughshod on everyone who questions The Boss.

Josh Jackson –I would have said Charlotte would move on to a feud away from the title with Paige, but considering how hard she partied on her birthday, The Queen City’s own will have to take a back seat for a bit. Sasha will inevitably reunite with Bayley on the main roster, only for The Boss to turn heel, (which she desperately needs), and will reignite her legendary Takeover feud.

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MATCH #9 JOHN CENA VS AJ STYLES

What you need to know about the Match:

AJ Styles – After being the indie darling for years he debuted at the Royal Rumble to a crowd who lost their mind but slowly went from Face everyone loved to heel everyone loved to hate.

John Cena – You know who John Cena is.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – I’m pretty sure the last time we saw John Cena at a Summerslam he basically got tossed around for 10 minutes. I don’t think we’re going to see Cena eat it here… but I REALLLY want to. I don’t even hate Cena, it’s just the right decision and I’ll tell you why

Molly May – AJ Styles nails the Styles Clash after denying The Club’s help. Styles has already suffered one major loss at Wrestlemania this year and used Anderson and Gallows for a chunk of his wins since. It’s his first statement in proving “I don’t have the Club, and I don’t need the Club”

Josh Jackson –This match is likely to steal the show if their previous efforts have been any indication. This will be the first match in the pair’s series of bouts that will (likely), have no interference. Just a good old fashioned one on one fight. No excuses, and no doubt who the better man will be. This scenario usually means Cena will “overcome the odds” and pull out the victory, but considering how Smackdown ended, not to mention the fact that Cena will be gone to film the second season of his reality show, AJ will get to #BeatUpJohnCena on the company’s second biggest stage.

Derek Kraneveldt – I’m a huge Cena fan. As cool as AJ is, as someone who didn’t follow him around the world, he hasn’t really done all that much to wow me yet. He also brought Gallows and Anderson with him, who I feel like may just be the most boring tag team that I’ve ever seen. I’m alone in this one too, aren’t I?

With The Club busy in their own match, I feel like this will be the true 1 v. 1 that we were all hoping to see a few months back. That first match was fantastic before the interruption, and I really can’t wait to see this one. I think Cena is taking it home, but I’m beyond uncertain of what this matches outcome will actually be.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – After AJ Styles absolutely and definitively has wrecked the face that runs the place he has his eyes on one and only one prize: the world belt. I’d like to see Dean retain until Survivor Series but this could honestly go down at at one of the Smackdown pay-per-views… but Styles is going to be wearing that belt in time for the Royal Rumble. More on this fantasy booking in a second…

Molly May – Like I’ve mentioned in my Bálor and Club write ups, let’s see Styles become more of a loner who knows he doesn’t need help because he’s too damn good for help. Really press that he doesn’t need some stupid WWE title cause he’s already beaten Cena! He’s a former IWGP Champ! This new era would be NOTHING if not for him. No one is on his level… not even Dean Ambrose. This clearly pisses off Ambrose, who demands a match with Styles. While Styles just keeps ‘conveniently’ missing out on opportunities to challenge Ambrose in favor of crushing an easier opponent. Daniel Bryan can’t sit back anymore, reasoning that Styles is taking the honor and respect out of wrestling, and puts the two in a match at the Royal Rumble. Which Styles wins. Cena, meanwhile, should get in at least one great PPV match for the title with Ambrose. But after that, hopefully Cena makes waves in the Intercontinental title picture to further make life harder for The Miz. The United States Open Challenge was arguably the best series Cena has had in his entire career, and I’d like to see the IC title heightened in such a way similar. Preferably not just a rehash of the open challenge, but definitely something along those lines.

Josh Jackson – Cena will fade away for awhile before coming back to his top guy spot. The only thing I can see for him in the future is to get that long awaited Undertaker Mania match, or win the Rumble and square off against Roman Reigns in a passing of the torch match. Between now and then, I don’t see him doing anything major. It’s clear his time is winding down.

AJ on the other hand, will be firmly launched into the main event. Signs are pointing to him feuding with the loser of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, and eventually winning the title after that business is wrapped up.

wwe_summerslam_dean_ambrose_dolph_ziggler

MATCH #10 DEAN AMBROSE VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER

What you need to know about the Match:

Dean Ambrose – Before he was a member of the Shield he was a Death match maniac. He’s our current world champion and one of the most legit unhinged a-holes in WWE

Dolph Ziggler – Think of the lead singer of every 80’s hair metal band… during the mid-90s. Now stop imagining Chris Jericho and think Shawn Michaels instead. Congrats you now know who Dolph Ziggler is.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – Dean Ambrose is going to continue to retain, it’s a no-brainer honestly. But it’s going to be a great match, hell, it might be the match of the night. It has the potential to be… I mean, almost every match has the potential to be on this card … almost (sorry Cesaro, Sheamus, Enzo, Cass, Jericho and Owens). This will establish Dean as a serious champion and maybe turn Dolph into a bitter washed up man of the old era.

Molly May – Just let Ambrose get a clean pin and look like a legit champ please.

Josh Jackson –I love both of these guys. I’m also a sucker for the underdog, which is why I would LOVE if Ziggler were to win. However, Dean just won the title by beating two of the company’s golden boys in Reigns and Rollins, and there’s no chance that he loses this soon to someone who couldn’t beat Baron Corbin a month ago. Ziggler will dig deep and prove he belongs, but will come up short when Ambrose retains.

Derek Kraneveldt – I may be alone in saying this… but I want Ziggler to win. He’s been this talented, barely-there underdog since I began watching WWE, and he solidified me as a fan after a heartbreaking promo a few weeks back about how much he’s been looked over and how he deserves this. As long as he’s not fighting nineteen boring matches with Baron Corbin, I’d definitely be down with seeing Ziggler hold the title.  That said, there’s no way in hell its going to him. Ambrose is keeping this one, at least for now.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Ziggler will continue to feud against other wreslers. I’d be super on board with a good couple Crews vs Ziggers matches (just keep him away from Corbin for the rest of the decade). Dean will be the champ until A.J. Styles eventually takes the belt off of him.

Molly May – I hope these two continue to feud for the belt for at least one or two more pay per view matches. They’re fantastic foil for one another, both being guys that never got the respect they deserved but being pretty stylistically different. I think Ambrose deserves a legitimate reign, and definitely a longer one that Roman’s. Really make Roman seeth over how Seth and Dean are/were better champions than he was. (Just cause you’re on separate brands doesn’t  mean you still can’t hate your friends!) So when it reaches Survivor Series, or preferably the Royal Rumble where I want Dean to lose the belt, Roman unleashes his anger on Dean after a poorly planned alliance between them goes every kind of wrong.

I’d like to see Bray Wyatt get involved in the title picture after he’s done with Orton. I’d kill for a triple threat on PPV between Champbrose, Ziggler, and Wyatt, then I’m thinking Ziggler and Wyatt would make a solid feud with them both blaming each other for their losses and the feud ending in a traditional Survivor Series match. Either leading two teams or as the last two remaining members of opposing teams.

Josh Jackson –Based on the build up, there’s no way Ziggler doesn’t turn heel after this. Based on the way things have been going however, Ziggler will stay face for a little while longer while he feuds with AJ Styles for the number one contender spot. Dean will feud with Bray Wyatt for the title, where he’ll come out on top once again. I can’t say the same for when he squares off with The Phenomenal One.

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MATCH #11 FINN BALOR VS. SETH ROLLINS

What you need to know about the Match:

Seth Rollins – Was the World Champion until an injury forced him to drop the belt, he’s yet to officially been pinned to lose his belt. He’s a huge asshole and it’s glorious to watch.

Finn Balor – Think of the hottest soccer player you’ve ever seen, now imagine them in a wrestling ring and occasionally covered in body paint that makes them kinda look like Venom. He’s awesome and will be the most popular person in wrestling one day.

PREDICTION:

Matt Kelly – So this is the hardest match to call. I originally predicted every run in known about man. I’ve argued that Finn has more to lose if he wins than if he loses. Yea those of us who watch NXT know he’s earned it but to the 80% of the casual audience is concerned he’s just Reigns 2.0. A quick and immediately push could do more bad than good. So I’m saying the Seth wins but it will in no way be a clean win. Maybe Seth Rollins best friend Jon Stewart comes and saves him once again.

Molly May –  Finn Bálor. Mostly because do you honestly think Demon KING Bálor is gonna lose his first main roster pay per view match. Yeah, I know the demon lost at NXT Takeover: The End, but now he’s the demon KING. Just trust them, it’s different (it’sreallynot).

BUT! Seth is getting the belt.

Triple H is gonna interfere. The Club is gonna interfere. John Stewart is gonna interfere. Your mom is gonna interfere. Hideo Itami is gonna debut after the match to beat up Bálor for injuring him which HASNOTBEENBROUGHTUPYETONNXT WHYNOT WHOHURTYOUHIDEO. But in all seriousness, this match is not ending in a clean finish. I expect interferences, especially from the GMs, Triple H or John Stewart. It’ll look like Finn won but someone will catch that he had a foot under the rope and they’ll give it to Seth, even though Seth blatantly nailed Finn with a chair. But I’d still like to keep The Club at an arms’ length from Finn, and I’m aware Hideo is a stretch. In a perfect world, Finn would be the one that put Hideo on the shelf and Hideo would get his revenge one way or another. But since the draft has kinda screwed that up, check my Takeover: Brooklyn prediction for how I reworked it *winkwink*.

Josh Jackson – I predict that the announce team will say “The Demon King” 30 times throught the match. I also fully expect Finn to win, becoming champion a short four weeks after debuting on the main roster. Sure, that’s a bit of a hot shot to the top spot, but Seth is already established as a main eventer. Cutting Finn’s legs out from under him this soon, especially if they have him lose his first match in his demon garb, would be absolutely detrimental to his continued growth. He won’t hold it long, but I’m expecting Brooklyn to explode once the longest reigning NXT champ wins the big one.

Derek Kraneveldt – As a non-regular NXT viewer, aside from catching a few (fantastic) Takeover events, I’m not overly familiar with Bálor. That said, in any case I think that this one is going to Rollins. Rollins is one of WWE’s biggest stars, and now that he can no longer play up the exciting “title I never lost” angle, I could definitely see him gloating about the title that nobody else has ever won. He just seems a bit under-utilized since his return (especially looking at the way he went out), and I think that this outcome would certainly get people talking.

THE FUTURE:

Matt Kelly – Seth was an amazing Heel Champion before and he will be an amazing heel champion again. So what happens with Balor? Balor continues to impress the world match after match until he earns his spot in the Royal Rumble… and wins it.

With two “Main belts” this creates a question… what is the main event belt. I say the Rumble winner chooses the belt he wants, and Finn wants to do the one thing Seth Rollins couldn’t do… bring the World Title back to Raw. He challenges the then current champion AJ Styles. A.J. will feel confident that he can win at Wrestlemania and is excited to be defending his belt in a setting where his friends (and current Tag Team Champs) The Club can be by his side.

After putting on what will arguably be one of the top matches in 2017, the Club comes down and beats the ever loving SHIT out of AJ Styles. The Demon rides out on Anderson’s shoulders wearing the belt for a feud against Seth Rollins to combine the belts into the WWE Galaxy belt or some stupid shit like that.

Molly May – Seth is a great heel champion, and I really want to see how a reign of his will go without the Authority’s help. And I want Finn to be on Seth like a fly on shit. Let the audience get to know Finn better since this massive push out the gate has brought on some Reigns-esque distaste. And teach them that when Finn loses a match for a title, he does not let who beat him get away unscathed. In my opinion, Bálor is a more interesting character when he’s in a chase for the belt than when he’s the champ. What would make this extra awesome (since WWE already pulled the trigger early on the demon): start incorporating supernatural traits into his normal human character. We don’t know a ton about how the demon mythos works, just that it’s “Bálor’s mask”. The intimidation factor could help make up for his size disadvantage. Do things like have him cut the arena lights and La Catrina-teleport to the ring. Have him show up to RAW in a surgical mask that he rips off to reveal a Joker-looking slit-mouth. Hell, go full Japanese urban legend and put him in arena bathrooms before shows to scare fans. I just wrote your next season of Swerved. You’re welcome.

Josh Jackson – Rollins won’t be out of the picture for long, considering that he’ll end up getting a rematch and taking the title off of Finn thanks to some outside help. Maybe the return of J & J Security? Or a bitter Kevin Owens who feels that Finn doesn’t deserve the opportunities that are meant for him? Either way, Finn’s impressive debut will be tempered a bit, cooling him off as he clears the way for the inevitable Roman Reigns redemption story.

 

Summerslam 2016 pre-show begins at 5pm on the network and Summerslam begins at 7pm. Let us know what you think of our predictions and comment with some of your own.

This week’s episode is the first of four live panels recorded at last months TanoshiiCon in West Chester, PA. The first panel is “Let’s Talk Wrasslin'” featuring the co-hosts of the We Want Blood: A Wrestling Podcast show. The gang discusses WWE, the future of the characters, the rising awesomeness of New Day and take questions from the crowd.

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