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The Best Wrestlers Of 2018: 5-1

by Josh JacksonJanuary 2, 2019

This is entries 5-1 of our Best Wrestlers of 2018 series. Make sure to check out 6-10 and 11-18 and join the conversation afterwards!

5. Cody

Not that I’m one to speak for Cody ~~Rhodes~~, but I’m almost positive that even he could not have expected how much of a success All In was. Setting records for attendance and merchandise sales while generating buzz rarely seen outside of a WWE event, being one of the masterminds behind the largest non-WWE show since WCW died in the US was only one of his accomplishments this year. Being the catalyst behind both the Golden Lovers reuniting and the Bullet Club breakup storyline when it was at its peak, Cody found himself in the IWGP Heavyweight Championship hunt more often than anyone else in 2018. But what really tops off his year in the ring was his historic win over Nick Aldis at All In, winning the title that his father held so many years ago and bringing more eyes to the NWA than anyone else has in decades. With All Elite Wrestling on the horizon, Cody’s looking to change the wrestling world for the better, and none of that would be possible without 2018 putting him in a position to do so.

4. Daniel Bryan

At this time last year, most of us assumed we’d never see Daniel Bryan wrestle again. However, the impossible happened when rumors of him coming out of retirement became reality. The leader of the Yes Movement was finally cleared to wrestle after years of therapy and second opinions, returning with Shane McMahon against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. Then… Nothing. A nowhere feud with Big Cass, a throwaway return of Team Hell No so they could lose to the Bludgeon Brothers and a long-awaited clash against The Miz that was bogged down by bad finishes and unnecessary inclusion of their less-than-stellar wives made it feel like clearing Bryan was more about keeping him away from other companies than it was about using him in any meaningful way.

That changed when Bryan went for AJ Styles’ kryptonite and kicked him straight in the balls to suddenly win the WWE Championship, ending AJ’s 371 day reign. This was the moment the Yes Movement died and “The New” Daniel Bryan blessed our screens. As an aggressively environment friendly wrestler who makes us feel bad for buying his merchandise rather than thrift, he has somehow went from one of the most loved figures in wrestling history to a rare heel who actually gets boo’d by most crowds. Alongside his blow away heel work, Bryan also reminded us that he’s one of the best wrestlers of all time, managing to look terrifying against Brock Lesnar, an opponent that towers over him, and making the most out of his feud with Styles by putting on some of the WWE main roster’s best performances. I’m hoping Bryan holds the title until at least Wrestlemania, He’s a case of a wrestler firing on all cylinders right before our eyes.

3. Hiroshi Tanahashi

TOKYO, JAPAN – AUGUST 12: Hiroshi Tanahashi celebrates winning the tournament final against Kota Ibushi during the New Japan Pro-Wrestling G1 Climax 28 at Nippon Budokan on August 12, 2018 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by New Japan Pro-Wrestling/Getty Images)

The joke I kept hearing throughout 2017 was that Tanahashi was being held together by heart and duct tape. For the uninitiated, the best way to describe Hiroshi Tanahashi is the John Cena of NJPW. When the company was in bad shape, Tanahashi carried the company through the mid 2000’s onward to become “The Ace” of the company. Over the course of his time on top, NJPW rose to prominance once again thanks to his unmatched ring work, off the charts charisma and a look that screams “rock star”. And let’s face it, you’d have to be all of those things to make air guitar look good. To continue the Cena parallels, Tanahashi has taken a backseat in recent years as Okada stepped up and took his place as the top star despite still being universally loved. No one would have blamed him if he took time off throughout 2017 and 2018 as he nursed a multitude of injuries, including a torn bicep. But despite this, he pressed on.

At first, 2018 seemed like it would continue to see Tana in a supporting role. He started the year against Jay White, failed at the finish line against Zack Sabre Jr. at the New Japan Cup and falling to Okada once again, losing his record of the most successive title defenses in the process. Then, the G1 happened. In a tournament that many figured would be a sure thing for Kota Ibushi, when the finals arrived, a spark of hope for The Ace set off an unstoppable flame, shocking viewers around the world and defeating Ibushi to win his third G1 11 years after his first victory in the annual tournament. Proving that he never lost his greatness in thrilling matches against a variety of rivals, The Ace closes 2018 on his way to a Tokyo Dome main event against Kenny Omega where he hopes to find himself on the top of the mountain for what could be the last time.

But what makes his journey especially intriguing is the dichotomy between him and Omega, representing different philosophies on how NJPW should move forward. On one side is the brash, arrogant foreigner who wants to “Change the World” by guiding the company towards a worldwide expansion on his shoulders with a Western influence. On the other is the traditionalist, the man who has carried the banner of NJPW through its darkest days for over a decade who knows that NJPW can reach greater heights worldwide by being true to itself instead of becoming something its not. It’s an incredibly compelling story that has dragged fans along for the ride, with people taking sides and arguing over who’s philosophy is right in real life. Win or lose, Tanahashi has managed to capture the hearts and minds of fans around the world years after we thought his time on top was up. That alone deserves all the praise we can muster, and even as a big Omega fan, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pulling for Tanahashi come January 4.

2. Becky Lynch

The Man comes around…

In a year where the biggest female combat athlete came to WWE, it’s almost impossible to imagine that the Irish Lass Kicker, the same star who had been the designated pin eater in nothing tag matches, would become the most compelling character in the largest wrestling company in the world. Starting during a redemption storyline that carried her through the Summer, Becky racked up some much needed victories on her way to earning a title shot against Carmella at Summerslam. Unfortunately for her, her best friend, Charlotte Flair, was given a title shot after only one non-title win against the champion. She would make the most of that chance by hitting Becky from behind when Lynch would have otherwise won the match if it was a one-on-one match as originally scheduled. Seeing the chance she fought for crumble as her friend celebrated, she assaulted Charlotte in brutal fashion, all with the fan’s full support behind her after they had stuck by her through her uneventful months prior.

As with Daniel Bryan’s original WWE Championship run, the best storylines often come out of WWE when the company itself is fighting tooth and nail against what the fans want. Despite trying to portray Becky as a jealous heel, (the complete opposite of how the storyline played out), the fans only cheered louder, forcing the company to acknowledge Lynch’s popularity after weeks of trying to ignore or spin it. After coming out victorious against Charlotte and ultimately ending up as Smackdown Women’s Champion, “The Man” rose to even greater heights after targeting Ronda Rousey both on TV and through some compelling Twitter interactions, being the clear choice of the people even when up against one of the company’s most popular stars.

An unexpected punch to the face put the ice on the Ronda vs. Becky match at Survivor Series. What we got instead was one of the most iconic wrestling images to come out of the WWE in a long time as a defiant, (and apparently unconscious), Becky stood in the crowd to survey the chaos she brought to Raw. What was supposed to be a one-off feud on the way to Charlotte vs Ronda at Wrestlemania, there’s a very real possibility that Becky vs. Ronda could main event the biggest show of the year as a result of becoming the hottest feud in the company. This would be a first for women in the WWE, and even the speculation can be directly attributed to how Becky has taken the opportunity she found herself with in 2018 and did more with it than anyone could have ever imagined. The Man is here, and this run may ensure that her spot in wrestling history is firmly cemented.

1. Kenny Omega

G1 B Block Finalist. A half-dozen match of the year candidates to his name. IWGP US Champion. Closing out the year as the first gaijin (or foreigner), to head into the following Wrestle Kingdom as IWGP Heavyweight Champion. All of these accolades are more than enough to earn a spot on anyone’s best wrestler of the year list. But one victory in particular sets Kenny Omega apart from the rest of the pack when it comes to being the best wrestler in a very crowded field in 2018. That victory was against Kazuchika Okada on June 9 to win his first IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, ending the legendary 720 day reign at 12 defenses. Serving as the current cap on a year and a half long chase, the former junior heavyweight finally reached the top of the mountain against an unbeatable foe.

If that wasn’t enough of a reason to show how 2018 was the year of Omega, Kenny found himself at the center of some of the best and most talked about events and storylines of the year. Reuniting with Kota Ibushi, the distension and re-uniting of The Elite, All In, AEW, the feud with Chris Jericho, the Jericho Cruise, the split from the Bullet Club, (at least the start of it), and even E3 had Omega’s name all over them. Even then, all of this ignores a G1 run that’s in the discussion for the best of the year. When your competition consists of Ibushi, Naito, Tanahashi, Okada and Ishii among many other standouts, that’s noteworth in itself. Its especially noteworthy when you do it with a broken heel, which no one would be able to see if it wasn’t widely reported. Outside of the ring, Kenny was the subject of an upcoming HBO documentary that should be airing in a matter of months. To put it bluntly, Kenny Omega is easily the most covered wrestler that’s not in the WWE. Even then, he has more buzz around him now than anyone that’s not at the absolute top of the biggest wrestling company in the world.

Kenny’s ultimate goal in wrestling is to “Change the World” by helping expand NJPW for a worldwide audience. His clash of ideologies with Tanahashi that was mentioned before tops off what has been one of the greatest single years a wrestler has ever had in the near 30 years I’ve been watching from all angles. From match performance to big wins, storylines to accomplishments and character work, there was not a better professional wrestler all around than Kenny Omega. In a year that saw women’s wrestling rise to new heights in the US, stars of old return to prominence, new wrestling companies being born before our eyes and the conclusion of the one of the greatest title reigns of all time, it’s a reminder of how lucky we are to be able to experience history as it happens.

What are your thoughts on wrestling in 2018? What sections did you agree or disagree with? Any glaring omissions? Let us know in the comments, and here’s to another legendary year in the squared circle come 2019!

The Best Wrestlers Of 2018: 10-6

by Josh JacksonJanuary 2, 2019

These are entries 6-10 of our Best Wrestlers of 2018 series. Make sure to check out 11-18, and join the conversation afterwards!

10. AJ Styles

Only in WWE could a wrestler hold their main title for nearly the entire year and still feel underwhelming. On paper, AJ Styles should be one of the top wrestlers of the year, becoming one of the longest reigning WWE champions in history while feuding with some of the best wrestlers in the world. Considering his feuds were against longtime rivals like Shinsuke Nakamura, Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan, and what we should have had was one of the best championship runs in years. Instead, these feuds were bogged down by months of repetitive rematches, stipulations that made no sense, matches revolving around dick kicks, screwy finishes and family stalking. Still, AJ remains a top tier wrestler who carried Smackdown as well as he could throughout the year, which is an accomplishment that bad booking can’t take away from him.

9. Kazuchika Okada

The Rainmaker had so much to gain at the start of the year, and so much to lose in the back half. Okada managed to continue his legendary IWGP Heavyweight Championship run through June, fighting off a very game Tetsuya Naito, Sanada, Zack Sabre Jr. and his longtime rival, Hiroshi Tanahashi. The latter defense was the twelfth defense that broke The Ace’s own defense record of eleven, cementing Okada as possibly the greatest NJPW champion of all time. The rest of his year was the story of his own overconfidence getting the best of him, losing the title to Kenny Omega after challenging him to a 2-out-of-3 falls that favored the challenger, and being double-crossed by his stable-mate who promised to stab him in the back as he was accepted into Chaos. The Rainmaker then became affectionately known by some as the “Baloonmaker”, shedding his robe, blonde hair and motivation in favor of balloons and a string of losses. Now on his way to rehabilitate his win-loss ratio with his longtime manager, Gedo, in the corner of the “Switchblade” that stabbed him in the back, expect a return to form in 2019.

8. Jay White

It’s clear that NJPW has a ton of faith in Jay White considering how big of a year he had right out of the gate. Re-debuting after excursion at Wrestle Kingdom 12 as “Switchblade”, the New Zealander wrestled one of the company’s biggest stars in Hiroshi Tanahashi on January 4th. From there, he would join Bullet Club, double cross Kenny Omega in favor of joining Chaos, become the second ever US Champion after defeating Omega soon after, and finally becoming the new “leader” of the Bullet Club after The Elite left the group. Oh, and he has Okada’s longtime manager / real life booker, Gedo, at his side. Finding ways to get the best of Tanahashi and Okada at almost every turn, White is one of the few heels that manages to get near universal hate when he walks through the curtain. After a shaky start, he’s grown quickly into the Switchblade character, stepping into the new year as one of the biggest foreign stars in the company. Not bad for a 12 month period.

7. Ronda Rousey

I mentioned Utami Hayashishita having an incredible rookie year, but Ronda Rousey managed to take the WWE by storm over the span of nine months. The UFC hall of famer managed to have one of the best matches at Wrestlemania in a bout that few expected anything from against Stephanie McMahon of all people. It was only up from there, having great match after great match against Raw’s top women’s stars until she managed to win the Raw Women’s Title after only a handful of matches under her belt. From there, she would become a fighting champion, taking on all comers until she eventually crossed paths with Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair, setting off what many feel is the hottest feud in the WWE right now. With rumors of Becky versus Ronda headlining Wrestlemania in 2019, The Baddest Woman on the Planet has been undeniable throughout her entire run so far. The only thing that hurts her is that she’s able to rehearse her matches far more than the rest of the roster, which I see as an unfair advantage. Then again, getting a good match out of Nia Jax not once, but twice is an accomplishment in itself.

6. Tommaso Ciampa

Ciampa is like multiplying with a negative. He was so hated throughout the year and reveled in it so well that his heat wrapped around to make him one of the most popular wrestlers in NXT. After making his presence known by screwing his former tag team partner, Johnny Gargano, out of title shots and even his career at one point, the Blackheart of NXT seemingly got his just desserts when he lost an unsanctioned match against his former DIY teammate in one of the best matches of the year at Takeover New Orleans. As the champ will often remind you on Twitter however, that didn’t count. What did count was every match afterwards, winning the NXT Championship and holding it with an iron grip, having incredible matches with a wide variety of opponents along the way. From Aleister Black to The Velveteen Dream and Otis Dozovic, Ciampa has proven that he’s one of the best WWE has to offer. Still, let’s hope he finally gets what’s coming to him in 2019 after Johnny finds his redemption.

We’re at the home stretch! Click here for our five best wrestlers of 2018!

The Best Wrestlers Of 2018: 18-11 and Honorable Mentions

by Josh JacksonJanuary 2, 2019

2018 will go down as one of the greatest years in professional wrestling history. Companies and performers around the world were reaching peaks that would have been hard to imagine even a year ago; redemption, rebirth, history, heartbreak and betrayal ran their course from beginning to end in the wrestling world this year, with exciting changes and a potential new company rising from the foundation created by this unbelievable spin around the sun. None of it would be possible without these influential performers and the impact they’ve left behind. Here’s our list of the top 18 wrestlers of 2018 based on match performance, storylines, win/loss records and overall influence throughout the year.

Honorable Mentions

2018 was one of the most historic years in modern wrestling history, with so many performers who would have been locks for a top 10 spot being shut out this year because of it. Even then, we can’t talk about 2018 without mentioning wrestlers like The Lucha Brothers (Rey Fenix and Pentagon Jr), who continued to travel the world and win championships across multiple promotions both together and individually. Jeff Cobb making multiple appearances for NJPW, winning the ROH TV Title, the PWG Battle for Los Angeles and wrapping up his arc as Matanza for Lucha Underground was also notable, while Chris Jericho had yet another career resurgence after having an early match of the year candidate with Kenny Omega before winning the IWGP Intercontinental Title and hosting his own wrestling cruise. Despite a rough year overall, Tetsuya Naito can’t be forgotten either after headlining Wrestle Kingdom 12 and having an incredible G1. Utami Hayashishita had one of the best rookie years ever in Stardom, performing at a standard years beyond her experience level. Seth Rollins carried WWE on the wrestling side of things before being thrown back into The SHIELD, and Roman Reigns finally conquered The Beast after literally years of trying. Finally, the most difficult exclusion on this list was Johnny Gargano, who put on match of the year candidates in NXT from beginning to end. However, he was hit with the one-two punch of constantly losing, then turning heel, only to continue to lose big matches. Unfortunately, great matches alone aren’t enough in a year like this.

With that said, we can’t talk forever. Well, we could, but we only have so much time! Here are the stars that made the cut:

18. PCO

No matter how long one has been following wrestling, no one could have predicted how much we’d all be talking about Pierre Carl Ouellet. When you hear about how someone has run roughshod through the indies to the point where they close out the year with a big Sinclair backed contract with ROH, the first thing that would come to mind is a hot, young star. Yet, after a brutal showing against WALTER at Joey Janela’s Spring Break 2, the former Quebecer, who was arguably most prominent in 1994 WWF, has remained in high demand around the world. Now as a member of Marty Skurll’s new post Bullet Club stable, we’re eager to see where the year’s second best comeback story goes through 2019.

17. LA Park

Known to most US fans as “The Chairman” back in WCW, the former La Parka had a similar career resurgence through 2018 as PCO. The difference is that LA Park never really stopped working. First impressions (and a couple dozen pounds) might lead you to think that Park is over the hill and reaching for one last shot at glory, not arguably the biggest star in Mexico right now. At age 53, the 36 year veteran is having the biggest run of his career, thanks largely to a high profile hair vs. mask feud with current Los Ingobernables leader, RUSH. Despite that match getting cancelled due to some muddied politics, it hasn’t stopped LA Park’s rise through the Mexican wrestling scene and beyond, having recently appeared for Impact and MLW. If the RUSH feud would have materialized, the luchador may have made the top 10, but the limited scope of his run hurts him.

16. The Young Bucks

Like Cody, The Young Bucks WERE All In. When they weren’t wrestling in high profile matches against the Golden Lovers, the Gorillas of Destiny or EVIL and Sanada, often for the IWGP Heavyweight Titles after jumping over from the Junior division, they were masterminding what would become the biggest American non-WWE show in decades. Unfortunately for Matt and Nick however, they were often on the losing end of their bouts. Between that, the botched Bullet Club Civil War storyline and missing out on the World Tag League tournament, their contributions to All In weren’t enough to be higher on the list.

15. Tomohiro Ishii

As far as I’m concerned, Ishii has been one of the best wrestlers in the world for years. If one ever needed any proof of that, all you need to do is look at his 2018. Considered by many to be the MVP of the G1 based on match performance, the Stone Pitbull proved to be an incredibly versatile wrestler, putting on dynamic matches with Kenny Omega, epic brawls with Minoru Suzuki and even comedy matches with Toru Yano in a short span of time. Holding a rare win over Kenny Omega this year, the current Revolution Pro Wrestling British Heavyweight Champion is poised to ride his momentum into 2019 in a potential show stealing match at Wrestle Kingdom 13 against the next entry on this list.

14. Zack Sabre Jr.

Just! Tap! Out!

Considering how great of a year ZSJ had this year, him being out of the top 10 really shows how legendary this year was thorough the wrestling world. The protege of Minoru Suzuki has carved his own niche as someone who can believably beat NJPW’s top stars, moving him up significantly throughout 2018. The New Japan Cup tournament saw him running through the best the company has to offer, defeating Tetsuya Naito, Kota Ibushi and Hiroshi Tanahashi before putting up a strong showing against the nearly unbeatable Kazuchika Okada. After closing out the year with some fun, yet uneventful matches against his own Suzuki Gun teammates during the 2018 World Tag League tournament, the submission master is looking to get back to his winning ways against Ishii for the Rev Pro title.

13. Kota Ibushi

Ibushi’s year was one of ups and downs. Almost always hovering near the NJPW main event scene in one way or another, the Golden Star started off his year against Cody before getting sucked into the implosion of The Elite. Reuniting with his DDT soulmate, Kenny Omega, Ibushi’s guidance led to Kenny finally defeating Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. Not one to solely play the supporting role, Ibushi was one of the best performers when it came to match quality all year, having classic matches against Naito, Ishii, and Omega himself, defeating the other half of the Golden Lovers in the G1. However, it was his unforgettable match against Hiroshi Tanahashi in the G1 finals that served as Ibushi’s highlight this year, even if he lost. Now, Kota is the NEVER Openweight Champion and on a collision course against Will Ospreay, but the looming doubt of whether or not Kenny’s partnership is holding him back leaves us intrigued on where he goes from here.

12. Asuka

The fact that Asuka had two historic firsts and is only number 12 on the list says so much about how WWE booked her from Wrestlemania to TLC. Starting off the year as the undefeated juggernaut who struck fear into her opponents, The Empress of Tomorrow went from winning the first ever women’s Royal Rumble, (an accomplishment that was quickly overshadowed by the arrival of Ronda Rousey), to tapping out in short fashion in a good, but quick match at Wrestlemania against Charlotte. After declaring that her opponent “was ready for Asuka”, it was all downhill from there, being directionless for months except for two embarrassing title match losses in a row to Carmella. Despite this, her popularity remained high, leading to her finally winning the Smackdown Women’s Championship in the first ever women’s TLC match, (while ironically being overshadowed by Rousey once again). Despite the best efforts of WWE’s writing, Asuka managed to remain a force throughout with two massive wins to bookend her year.

11. Hiromu Takahashi

As what might be the biggest tragedy of the year, Hiromu’s run was cut short in July when Los Ingobernables de Japon’s Ticking Time Bomb broke his neck in a match against Dragon Lee at NJPW’s San Francisco show. Up until that point though, Takahashi had a strong case for one of the best wrestlers in the world with an incredible run to match. After being one of the best parts in the highlight reel of a four way match from Wrestle Kingdom 12, Hiromu won both the Best of Super Jr’s tournament in one of the most insane matches I’ve ever seen against Taiji Ishimori and the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship soon after. If his year wasn’t cut short, I have no doubt that Hiromu would have been a top five wrestler this year, but for now, all we can do is hope for a speedy recovery for one of the most gifted young stars in the world today. Oh, and we can buy his hand drawn calendar too.

That’s it for the beginning of our Best Wrestlers of 2018 list! Click here to crack the top 10!

Fantasy Booking 2016: Survivor Series

by SaintmortNovember 17, 2016

Hello Fantasy Bookers. It’s time to predict who the lone survivors will be at WWE’s Lone Pay-Per-View this month so let’s tackle Survivor Series head on. WWE is giving us 4 hours of show and 2 hours of pre-show to cover 6 matches, this … this could be bad.

MATCH 1: Brian Kendrick vs. Kalisto for the Cruiserweight Title

The winner of this match gets not just the title but the entire cruiserweight roster will move if the title is won by Kalisto.

WHO WILL WIN:
Matt – There’s almost no chance Kendrick wins this. I’m confident that Kendrick only won the title last month to lose to Kalisto. With WWE announcing the all Cruiserweight show 205 Live airing after smackdown on the network it’s basically written in the stars that Raw is giving away the Cruiserweights to smackdown.

Derek – The Cruiserweights are headed to Smackdown. With 205 Live launching on the same night, having Cruiserweight matches on Smackdown will be a great lead-in. Kendrick’s fight for the belt has been an interesting one, but now that he has it… I’m not really sure what he does with it. Kalisto wins.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt – While the Cruiserweight title seems designed specifically for someone like Kalisto I think he will only be champion for a month or two. By Royal Rumble the title will be on someone a bit more marketable in the WWE sense. I’m thinking Rich Swann or Cedric Alexander. The real question is where the fuck is Jack Gallagher!?

Derek – I don’t know what Raw does with that extra time (and how Smackdown manages to fit in even more content), but I’m excited to see 205 Live launch, and a Cruiserweight match right before will certainly get me in the mood for it.

MATCH 2: The Miz vs Sami Zayn for the IC Title

This is the other title at risk of trading shows. The Miz just won the title on Tuesday completely changing the direction this match could go.

WHO WILL WIN:
Matt – This is a tough call. One part of my brain says that Sami Zayn wins this. WWE trading the Cruiserweight title to Smackdown in exchange for the IC Belt on Raw. The other part of me thinks we won’t have every title match be a title change. I’m going to stick to my original opinion though and I see Sami Zayn getting the win. Sami needs the title more than Miz at this point (But props to MIz for elevating this title in a HUGE way). It would be wrong of me not to quickly shout out Geekscape favorite Mega-Ran for his prediction that Miz retains by a Dolph assist. If Miz is retaining on Sunday, I want that to be the reason.

Derek – Sami Zayn. He deserves to be champion. I loved The Miz’ last run at the IC title, and The Miz v. Ziggler was probably my favourite match of 2016 so far, but it would be a super neat dynamic to see the title change brands.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt – The Miz is going to return to Smackdown empty handed. It will be more fuel for the verbal lashings between him and Daniel. This will also keep a Dolph and Miz feud going a little longer, but let’s hope both of them are out of the IC title picture by the Royal Rumble in favor of a different challenger.

As for Sami I can really see Sami continuing the amazing work done by Dolph and Miz to make the title matter. Raw doesn’t have much going in the mid-card however so I believe his first challenger would have to be Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel but … that could be a good thing. It’d give Sami a few decent wins while making both of those guys who currently have nothing to do… have something to do. I don’t see anyone taking that belt of Sami on Raw though.

My dream scenario is for the next few months Daniel trying to bargain a trade with Raw to get Sami and the belt back on Smackdown. Sami will stay at Raw, Owens will lose the Universal Title before Wrestlemania and in jealous rage try to take the belt from Sami. When sami goes over Owens at Wrestlemania he will decide he has tackled all the competition on Raw and agree to trade to Smackdown for new competition.

Derek – Hmm. Owens and Zayn continue their forever rivalry and Owens tries to hold two belts at once? Or Jericho goes after Zayn so that he and Owens can both have belts.

MATCH #3 – SURVIVOR SERIES TAG TEAM EDITION

There’s nothing at stake besides bragging rights in this (or any) Survivor Series matches. For that reason I’m not going to be breaking down the “What happens next” portion and instead focusing on how I think the match will play out.

TEAM RAW: New Day, Sheamus/Cesaro, Gallows/Anderson, Enzo & Cass & Shining Stars
TEAM SMACKDOWN: Slater/Rhyno, American Alpha, Hype Bros, The Usos & Breezango

Matt – I’m thinking this is going to go to Raw. They have a more stacked tag-team card right now. I think Shining Stars will be the first time eliminated. Followed by the Hype Bros. Next I could see the Usos going out, Enzo and Cass will follow shortly after (They can take an early elimination).

Here’s where I think things will get wacky. I think Slater and Rhyno get eliminated. This will be a way for American Alpha and Breezango to have bragging rights and reasons to go after the Smackdown titles. Why Breezango you might ask? They’ve been getting a lot of attention and praise on Talking Smack, I think it’s possible we see a bigger push for them shortly… even if it’s just for them to be the Heel Tag Team Champions that American Alpha defeats for the titles at a later date (probably Royal Rumble).

Once Slater and Rhyno have been removed. Breezango will follow shortly after. American Alpha will get New Day Eliminated but their elimination will come via Anderson/Gallows walking out on the teams when Big E is reaching for a tag. Sheamus and Cesaro will be the lone survivors though taking out American Alpha and earning another title shot at New Day’s belts.

Derek – How this match will even work I have no idea. 10 on 10 is freaking insane, and with Heath Slater refreshed and renewed thanks to his new double-wide, team Smackdown is going to take this one thanks to The Beauty and the Man-Beast. Also, where is the Golden Truth? After the PPV The New Day will continue to entertain us (though they’re for sure going to lose the titles soon). Gallows and Anderson continue to be boring as hell, and Breezango take the Smackdown titles.

MATCH #4 – SURVIVOR SERIES WOMEN’S EDITION

Again there’s nothing at stake besides bragging rights in this (or any) Survivor Series matches. For that reason I’m not going to be breaking down the “What happens next” portion and instead focusing on how I think the match will play out.

TEAM RAW: Charlotte, Bayley, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and Alicia Foxx
TEAM SMACKDOWN: Nikki Bella, Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Carmella & Naomi

Matt – I think this one will be a shocker and end up going to team Smackdown.

Early eliminations will go to Alicia Foxx, Carmella and Naomi. From there I see Nia Jax going out unexpectedly follow by Alexa Bliss and Nikki Bella… you should see where this is going.

It’s going to turn into a Four Horsewomen 3 on 1 match between Banks, Bayley and Charlotte vs Becky. Bayley will be first to be eliminated. Banks will come in next but when things get rough she’s going to reach out to tag Charlotte and … Charlotte will already be halfway up the ramp. Team Raw might lose, but Charlotte’s “never pinned at a PPV” streak will remain intact. Banks will eat the pin and Becky will stand tall as both Smackdown Champion and the lone survivor for Team Smackdown.

Derek – Just looking at the promo image for this match – Bayley, Fia, Sasha, Charlotte… This one has to go to RAW. I think that we’ll see Charlotte vs Becky to finish the match off, though I’d love to see the insane power of Nia Jax shown off in this one.

Hopefully in the future Becky can keep the Smackdown belt forever (and I’m also a Natalia fan, so if she’s going to lose it, it would be neat to see Natalia get a shot). Sasha and Charlotte keep trading the belt forever and it’s super entertaining.

MATCH #5 – SURVIVOR SERIES MEN’S EDITION

For the 3rd and final time, there’s nothing at stake besides bragging rights in this (or any) Survivor Series matches. For that reason I’m not going to be breaking down the “What happens next” portion and instead focusing on how I think the match will play out.

TEAM RAW: Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Brawn Strowman
TEAM SMACKDOWN: AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton and Shane McMahon

Matt – This should go to Smackdown, but I just can’t see a situation where Vince won’t let Raw stand tall. Just like Nexus or WCW … Vince needs to make sure his baby looks best at the end of the day. That being said, we can still make it compelling.

I think Shane McMahon is in this match to take the first pin and Chris Jericho won’t be far behind. I think it’s revealed that Bray has control over Strowman early on and he has Strowman walk out (I know I’ve predicted a walk out in every match but when every team is filled with people who hate each other it’s bound to happen more than once). Bray is out next… potentially via Orton backstab (but it’s too damn early for that if you ask me).

Owens, AJ and Randy will be next to go because much like the women’s needed a Four Horsewomen moment, this needs a Shield mini-reunion. Dean will eventually eat the pin with Rollins and Reigns both standing tall.

Derek – This is actually my first Survivor Series… I’m not overly sure how things work, or how the booking generally goes. Based on the brands alone, I see Team RAW taking this one, and I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen, but a Bray vs. Braun finish would be absolutely incredible. This could also be a great moment for Chris Jericho to turn on his best friend Kevin Owens in order to get some well deserved time in the spotlight. Randy continues to become a Wyatt, things fall apart between Chris and Kevin, and AJ continues to be an annoying champion.

MATCH #6 – Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar

The match designed because of a video game. Goldberg and Lesnar happened years ago and from everything I’m told was a huge disappointment. So now it’s time for a rematch.

WHO WILL WIN:
Matt – So I’m not sure if Brock is going to win, but Brock isn’t going to “lose” for real if that makes sense.

WWE has invested a lot of energy into making Brock Lesnar this unbeatable monster. You don’t end that to Goldberg in a one time appearance. There’s rumors of a Shane McMahon vs. Brock match at wrestlemania, if that’s true than I see Shane fucking things up for Brock in order for Goldberg to get the win… but I don’t think that will happen. If anything Brock wins this clean.

Derek – Goldberg. It has to be Goldberg. It’s his last match ever, and I’m sure that he didn’t agree to come back just to job to Brock. After Brock’s less than stellar Wrestlemania and Summerslam performances, I just hope that The Beast doesn’t phone this one in, and gives Goldie the respect that he deserves. If this week’s Raw was any indication, it should be a good one.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt – Depending how bad this match goes will determine if we get a “Round 3” of this match up in the future. I don’t expect that though, I’m thinking it’s a one and done match. I think soon we need someone to beat the Beast and I (like most of the internet) believe Nakamura is the man for the job. I”m hoping with all my heart that we get that at Wrestlemania this year. I even put it on my Christmas list. Please Santa Baby! I’ve been pretty good for the most part.

Derek – Goldberg is gone for good, and Brock disappears for awhile. Maybe we’ll get a neat Brock vs. Braun storyline whenever he comes back again.

Fantasy Booking: Clash of Champions 2016

by SaintmortSeptember 23, 2016

We’re like two months into this brand split and I’m already feeling drained by having a pay-per-view every two weeks, but here we are. This time it’s the Raw solo pay-per-view. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I have a feeling in September Smackdown is gonna have the better Pay-Per-View.

Since I have nothing to say here’s a disclaimer from Molly:
You know you’re training to be a professional wrestler when you spend your breaks at your minimum wage retail job writing a fantasy booking column on the back of the hand out you got in the ER when you broke your ankle trying to resorte out of a headscissors chinlock! No, I don’t know why paperwork from 9 months ago was still in my purse. Yes, I really did all of that.

Match #1: Alicia Fox Vs. Nia Jax (Pre-Show Match)

NIA JAX: She is a large, bad-ass and beautiful murder machine who has crushed every local talent WWE has thrown at her and is now ready to take out some established roster members.

ALICIA FOX: There’s been a real lacking of Fox on WWE TV lately but when she is on TV she’s always flipping a shit and it’s always entertaining

WHO WINS:
Matt: Nia Jax is definitely winning this the only question is how quickly is she winning this? There has never been a more fitting Pre-Show Match. A quick no stakes match is perfect pre-show fodder. Way better than when the tag belts or titular survivor series matches are the pre-show events. Alicia Fox is a good wrestler who’s great at playing crazy but let’s be serious here… you don’t build Nia with a series of Squash matches for Alicia Fox to take her out.

Molly: Nia Jax with Muscle buster off the top rope… What, she’s only 2 inches shorter and 10 lbs lighter than Samoa Joe anyway!

Josh: Nia’s too early into her run to lose to a lower card performer like Alicia, no matter how much I love her. Foxy doesn’t have a chance. By the way, I just learned that a group of foxes is called “a leash.” That facepalm was about a decade in the making…

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Nia is going to continue to dominate. She’s going to crush everyone who comes in her path… until Auska gets called up to the main roster in time for Nia Jax vs. Auska to be a Wrestlemania worthy event. I feel like I saw it in NXT once before (I really can’t remember) but even if I did… that was a different less confident Nia. Main Roster Nia has been dope and I hope she continues to be dope for a long time. Also she should be in the Royal Rumble.

Molly: I hope this match turns out to be better than the crowd expects; better than your average pre-show match. Because honestly, Alicia Fox has impressed me the few times I’ve seen her wrestle recently. Specifically in a house show match I saw live between her and Natalya back in July. Alicia can go, but she’s still considered a ‘total diva’. She’s a great stepping stone for Nia to prove that she’s still a human wrecking ball when her opponent is getting in offense. I wanna see more TV time for Alicia where she’s wrestling and not dress shopping with Paige. Maybe getting involved in the title hunt so the crowd doesn’t get tired of the same 3 horsewomen all the time. But really, if you’re sick of the horsewomen, who the fuck are you. And I hope this starts Nia working her way up with matches longer than a minute. I wasn’t convinced when she was drafted from NXT because I really don’t think Nia has hit her stride and found her comfort zone yet. The longer matches with more experienced opponents unafraid of her throwing them across the ring will only benefit her. If you want her to squash opponents, let her start squashing some lower tier dudes. I might even try to get some hotter heel heat on her by booking her in mixed tag matches with her cousin, Roman Reigns (I’m positive every Samoan is related at this point). Once in a while my quest to book Nia Jax as this generation’s Chyna takes precedence over my need for a sorta-Shield reunion.

Josh: Fox will fade back into obscurity while Nia continues her climb to eventually become a championship contender. If she’s healthy, I can see Paige being her next feud. If not, Fox will probably continue the feud for an extra month.

Match #2: T.J. Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick (For the Cruiserweight Title)

T.J. PERKINS: Just won the CWC and got a trophy almost as tall as half the people in the CWC. He loves to Dab.

BRIAN KENDRICK: Was one-half of one of the longest reigning tag-teams in WWE history (with Geekscape family member Paul London). He looks like the bassist of the Lone Rangers.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I really wish it was going to be Kendrick because he was so fucking amazing in the CWC but it will be T.J. Perkins. The man hasn’t even appeared on the main roster yet. There’s no way he’s losing his debut match.

Molly: TJ Perkins. If there is any logical way for Perkins to flip out of Kendrick attempting another burning hammer and turning it into the knee bar then I need to see it happen.

Josh: TJ is winning, and there’s no doubt in my mind about it. Kendrick was picked as the contender because he’s a reliable guy that the fans recognize, and who better to put over the new champion as a threat while being able to take his move set?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Perkins will continue to be champ for a while until Cedric Alexander wins it and becomes the dude everyone talks about for the rest of his life. Meanwhile Kendrick is going to have an awesome run as the aged angry heel that will cheat to stay on top. I am DREAMING of when I get to see him and Jack Gallaher have a match because if CWC taught me anything… those dudes can tell amazing stories with no words and I want to see that story telling mix as soon as humanly possible.

Molly: Last year, if you had told me that TJ Perkins (who I first encountered as Suicide in TNA) and The Brian Kendrick were having a WWE pay per view match for a cruiserweight title in the year of our lord 2016, I would’ve asked how you got in my house before back-handing you into the fucking sun. I am ecstatic that this is happening, and I wanna see both these dudes built into the heavyweights of the cruiserweights.

Perkins just won the Cruiserweight Classic. It would be a pretty huge dick move to undo what he’s worked towards all summer (on top of an 18 year indy career that involved a lot of getting shit on) to put the belt on Kendrick after one match. Though it is most definitely a move I could see WWE pulling. Kendrick’s redemption story is fantastic, especially while he’s still playing the heel fans initially loved him as, and it needs to go as long as possible. Now that the CWC is over, wrestlers previously uncategorizable as good/bad have to start taking a side. I hope this gives us a Kendrick that we want to root for even though he can’t give up his old ways and is still an asshole in-ring. And a Perkins that is such a flashy, glittery, show off of a heel that he literally blinds us when he dabs and we still clap for him while bleeding out the eyes.

Josh: Since the division is still kind of a husk at the moment, it’s hard to make any concrete observations. TJ will definitely carry the title for a good amount of time, but with no characters associated with these acts at the moment, we’re veering towards the division becoming a series of meaningless matches. If I were to pick however, I would make Swan or Cedric the next contender, just to continue to highlight the better workers.

Match #3: Cesaro vs. Sheamus (Final Part of the Best Out of 7 Series for a Title Shot)

CESARO: The man speaks multiple languages, tailors his own tear away suits and is so bad ass that it’s not unreasonable to consider him the reason that girl you like won’t date you.

SHEAMUS: He played a CGI Rhino in a movie out on DVD this week.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Cesaro has to win this right? Like… we can’t give it to Sheamus… if we give it to Sheamus than what the fuck was this all about to begin with? I’m heavily leaning towards Cesaro but if Sheamus wins… I won’t be shocked. Cesaro. Final Answer Regis.

Molly: Sheamus via some shit that proves Sheamus is a strong main event presence despite Cesaro being the crowd favorite

Josh: It all depends what the vague promise of a “championship opportunity” means. If it’s for the Universal Title, Cesaro will pull off the four match streak and become Kevin’s new contender. If it’s for the U.S. Title… I still say Cesaro, because seeing him fight Rusev would be much better than Sheamus vs. Reigns for the tenth time in a year. Queue the sirens, Cesaro is taking this!

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: I’m as confused as to the future of these two as I am who is gonna win. Sheamus just continues to be irrelevant in wrestling world and Cesaro is so under utilized… but if I’m going to fantasy book this one I think Cesaro is next to try to take down Owens. I don’t think he succeeds but he puts in a good series of matches. He then chases mid-card gold and (if Reigns doesn’t do it already) becomes the man to beat Rusev for the U.S. Title.

Molly: Because I need Cesaro to be furious and go on a tear after this series, regardless of who deserves what. “You make me waste my time and talents in a feud going nowhere that no one cares about, and because I lose, that undoes everything I’ve accomplished? Hell no,” Cesaro screams at Jojo. I need Cesaro so enraged that when Survivor Series hits, he doesn’t get tagged in until the very end out of spite from his teammates, and when he finally does, he annihilates the other team, eliminating the majority of them and scaring the shit out of everyone else. There’s a lot of talk amongst wrestling fans over who is most ‘deserving’ of pushes. Fans like Cesaro cause he’s a great worker, not cause he’s heel or face. It’s a mindset that, while very respectful to the talent, makes it difficult to suspend disbelief when watching a wrestling show anymore. The best way to further blur the lines and do kayfabe in 2016 is to have Cesaro disregard all of the compliments from fans and criticisms from those in charge and have him just wreck house. Running in on matches, getting disqualified for excessive violence and the like, while Sheamus is like “that fella’s a bleeding nutcase and almost murdered me, it was not worth winning the series.”

Josh: Like Sami, Cesaro’s character arc is currently around his frustration over being stagnant. In Cesaro’s case however, it’s been much more at the forefront. He gets screwed against the Universal Championship, loses that shot, and turns heel out of frustration. Either that, or he gets traded to Smackdown somehow, but seeing as the only apparent way to switch shows is to lose to Jinder Mahal, I’m not expecting that anytime soon.

Match #4: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns (for U.S. Title)

RUSEV: Remember Rocky 4? He’s basically Drago from Rocky 4.

ROMAN REIGNS: Remember The Rock? He’s related to him. WWE thinks that means we’ll love him. They’re wrong.

WHO WINS:
Matt: This is another one I’m torn on. Reigns as U.S. Champion I could live with but I think Rusev is just killing it right now and the time isn’t right. Rusev should remain champion tonight but I’m very accepting to being wrong. Plus if Reigns has the U.S. Title at least he’s no longer a guest on the Kevin Owens show for a while.

Molly: Roman Reigns. How? Fuck if I care!

Josh: As much as I hate to say it since Rusev is my favorite guy on the roster, Roman has to win here. He’s still the company’s golden boy, and after eating a series of big losses, it’ll be time for the Big Dog to build his momentum back up. Plus, it would give him a reason to stay out of the main title picture until they’re ready to resume the Roman Reigns experiment.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Rusev is going to continue to crush until Cesaro wrecks him and the entire globe rejoices. Meanwhile Reigns will basically get booed out of every building until he’s turned heel and suddenly everyone loves him because wrestling fans don’t care how good of a wrestler you are… they just care about their opinion being heard.

Molly: I want to care. I really do. But following the misogyny of ‘fighting for Lana’s honor’ and whatever mess that finish was at Summerslam, it’s really hard to care. Rusev’s reign isn’t going anywhere in this feud with Roman because of the tug-of-war going on between fans and writers over Roman’s likability. Best thing is to get Rusev out of it entirely and shake off the terrible storylines he keeps getting put in. He’s a great monster heel; let him be the stone wall Cesaro hits in his rampage. As for Roman, you know what fans liked him doing? Being the silent big dude in the Shield. You know who could use some help now that the Authority hates him? Fellow former Shield member, Seth Rollins. I wanna see them team up again. Seth tries to get Roman to trust him again while Roman’s always positive Seth is just after a title to prove he has worth even if he can’t beat Owens. Plus there are no 2 people on the RAW roster who both hate the Authority more at this point, and Seth could use a heater in his corner.

Josh: A rematch followed by a directionless Rusev. Fortunately, the Rumble will be a few short months away, which is when many of the upper midcard guys get a soft reset as the big matches shape up. Roman will feud with a top level guy like Jericho before finally losing the belt in a way that makes him look strong, before stepping back onto the top of the card.

Match #5 Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho (For the enjoyment of seeing two masters go at it)

SAMI ZAYN: If Ska music could be personified it’d be Sami Zayn. With no evidence what-so-ever I’m confident he donated to Five Iron Frenzy’s Kickstarter 5 years ago.

CHRIS JERICHO: Depending on your age he was either your favorite wrestler as a kid… or your dad’s favorite wrestler when he was a kid.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I actually didn’t realize how unsure I am about these matches until working on this write-up. That actually makes me a little excited about this pay-per-view. The fan in me wants to say Sami Zayn wins this … but the fan in me also knows Zayn is best when he ALMOST wins but loses to Jericho.

Molly: Christ Jericho (these are not typos, I know what I wrote, Jericho is God) Does anyone tap to the Walls of Jericho anymore? Have Sami tap and hate himself for it. Have him tap to the lion tamer so I can go from really stoked cause I love that hold to really sad cause Sami lost.

Josh: The running theme seems to be that Sami is directionless. Knowing this, I’m guessing Jericho pulls off the win, further frustrating Sami as his former best friend carries on as champion while he can’t beat the new best friend.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: We’re taking our precious time getting there but I think this is the point that breaks Kevin Owens. Sami Zayn won the “final match” against Owens. I feel like Jericho is going to be too excited about beating Zayn which will cause Owens to eventually turn on Jericho. Let’s be honest here Fozzy has a new album and tour in 2017… they gotta write him off somehow… how about a Pop-Up Powerbomb. Then Sami needs to chase down Owens again and be the one to beat him for the Universal Title, possibly at Royal Rumble but ideally Wrestlemania main event.

Molly: Sami Zayn is “The Man of 1000 Incredible Losses” and he’s in a stride I love right now. Gets a few wins to prove he really is good, but mostly loses when the pressure’s on because screwing up when under stress is a relatable, human thing to do. Unlike Cesaro, who I may or may not want to neutralize me straight into the abyss and out of this wrestling-induced stress-coma I’m writing myself into, I want Sami to be the Bayley of the men’s division. Really talk up his unbreakable will and have him on TV every week so my great aunt can keep texting me “that Sami Zayn’s a very nice boy with a sick tornado DDT”. I want Neville built in a feud with Owens so after Sami loses valiantly in a feud with Rollins, Neville and Sami can rehash a bit of their BRILLIANT NXT feud. Where they’re friends who don’t want to hate each other, but keep getting in one another’s way and making it mad difficult to play nice. As for Jericho, there is nothing I would change about this incredible high he’s on. Keep building the fresh faces while giving us the gift of Jericho. I’m thirsty anyway.

Josh: The WWE loves to break popular guys down, only to (possibly), build them back up down the road. Keeping both him and Owens on the same show certainly means they’ll eventually redeem him by having him go over Kevin again. Whether or not its for the title is yet to be seen, but you can’t keep these guys apart for long.

Match #6 Charlotte Vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley (Triple Threat for Raw Women’s Title)

CHARLOTTE: Ric Flair’s Daughter, but she doesn’t like being associated with him, unless she’s reminding you that she’s made of his 16-time Champion Sperm. Spends her free time mocking her “friend” Dana Brooke who is a body builder who has no self respect.

SASHA BANKS: Possibly the best wrestler in WWE today (that’s including men), she’s dope AF. I don’t even have any jokes, she’s amazing, that’s all you need to know.

BAYLEY: Bayley is the wrestling fan in all-of-us. If you had to draw a person to represent the phrase “I’m just happy to be here” it’d be Bayley surrounded by anime characters hugging balloon men and… I think I have a dope idea for a T-shirt.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I’ll probably be wrong on this one but I think Sasha gets her belt back. Bayley can’t win this quickly. Bayley is female Zayn, she has to lose over and over again. Just get close … but not close enough. When she does win it needs to be a HUGE deal. Meanwhile Charlotte is a great heel but Sasha can be a better one. She needs to turn this weekend and I want her to turn … because of Dana Brooke backstab.

Molly: Charlotte by literally pressing the rewind button and causing the audience to collectively ask “didn’t we watch this on NXT but with more, oh what’s the word… enthusiasm?”

Josh: If Bayley vs Sasha is the endgame, it’s too early to draw that out all the way until April, so the best way to pull it off is to have Sasha win this match, have her pass the title back to Charlotte in October, and play out the scenario I’m predicting below.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Charlotte is going to feud with Dana Brooke and beat her time and time again. Finally at Survivor Series Emma returns to save her friend. Sasha is going to continue to be a mean-spirited as human possible until Bayley beats her at Wrestlemania and wacky wavy inflatable arm men explode out of every corner of the building.
(I realize almost all my predicts are ending at Wrestlemania but we’re basically entering Wrestlemania season where everything is just building to the Wrestlemania matches)

Molly: While yes, it would be a great comeback story for Sasha to win the title right back after back injury issues forced her loss, I think this loss could build more sympathy for Sasha so when she finally does win the title back and becomes the cocky, full-of-herself Boss champ she does best, it’ll hurt so good. I could see having Bayley win by taking the pent up fire she had facing Asuka in her NXT Women’s title rematch and redirecting it to take back her place on top. But Bayley is one character that I would love to see digress a bit; back to hug-happy super fan who needs to prove herself as legitimate once more. Out of respect for the belt and Charlotte’s character, I’d like to see her continue onwards into a feud with Dana Brooke and hopefully Charlotte will drop it to Nia Jax when Nia gets her shot in the not-too-far-off future. Meanwhile, Sasha keeps pretending to be Bayley’s friend in the match until it’s obvious Bayley’s gonna be a problem for Sasha and Sasha just goes the fuck off on her. Then pretend to be her friend some more but keep pulling shady shit until Bayley’s done playing games and Sasha’s done sitting around without a title while a fly named Bayley buzzes in her ear.

Josh: The money feud *has* to be Bayley vs. a heel Sasha at Wretlemania, right? That’s why it’s hard to believe that these two are already in the same match fighting for the title when Bayley has been around for a month. My booking would have had Sasha vs. Charlotte in a singles match, and have Sasha lose. Then have Bayley challenge and win near the Royal Rumble, only for Sasha to get jealous over her “friend” winning instead of her. Charlotte can feud with Dana or something. Maybe even a returning Emma to defend her friend?

Match #7 New Day vs. The Club (For the Raw Tag Team Belts)

THE NEW DAY: If Geekscape needed a wrestling mascot we’d pick The New Day (no offense Paul). They love comics, video games and Anime and talk in pop culture references. It’s like their promos are written by Dan Harmon.

THE CLUB: They were dope in Japan. They came to WWE to lose a bunch and hang out with A.J. Styles. In a perfect world they will be dope in WWE soon enough.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I love the New Day. I love them. But their time as Tag Team Champions needs to stop. The Club needs this win. The club needed this win last month if we’re being honest. If I’m wrong about the Women’s title there needs to be at least one title change and that change needs to be the Tag Belts.

Molly: The Club Please just let them murder the New Day, like, just ‘magic killer’ them on top of one another. I love the New Day and don’t want it to be a total squash cause that wouldn’t make sense, but please let the Club get their shit together and take this one.

Josh: I almost feel like it’s now or never for The Club, especially since all the hype surrounding their debut has all but disappeared. Yet, that’s never stopped the WWE from completely killing guys in the name of their own agenda, which seems to be having The New Day break Demolition’s record. Knowing this, New Day is winning.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: The New Day can continue to do theeir comedy schtick and being the most over thing in the WWE Universe. The Club will be absolute dominating heels and rocking the Tag Team Division until they are beaten by Enzo and Cass at the Rumble (see not all Wrestlemania Predictions)

Molly: The New Day has really done all they can do as a tag team. They’re the most successful team in this era of WWE and I AM LITERALLY. ON MY KNEES. BEGGING YOU. TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE. WHEN YOU YANKED BULLET CLUB OUT OF JAPAN. And actually book them to be the no-fucks-to-give, win-by-any-means-possible assholes they are best. On top of doing their comedy bits that made every promo they cut in 2014 absolute gold (it’s not the language barrier that made them funny; it’s how absolutely randomly ridiculous it was for a threatening team with solid matches and a winning streak to be doing Irish whip reversals mid-promo and bringing toilet seats as weapons because they were “going to shit on your life”). It also frees up the New Day to have the feud we’ve been waiting for with Enzo & Cass but with the stakes far less high. Or the feud I’m gonna wait forever and then some for, because literally only I would want cruiserweights to be capable of forming teams to enter the tag team division, and that’s New Day vs Cedric Alexander and Noam Dar. Watch the CWC finale and try to convince me Noam and Cedric shouldn’t be a team for the rest of my waking days; I dare you.

Josh: Man, these teams NEED to get away from each other. This feud has dragged both groups down to the point where its hard to care about either. The problems is that the brand is thin when it comes to tag teams,which means the only way I can see it going is for The Club to feud with Enzo and Cass while New Day has a filler feud with… The Shining Stars? Man…

Match #8 Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins (For the Universal Title)

KEVIN OWENS: People love to remind you that Kevin Owens doesn’t have the body of a wrestler. Wrestling fans love to remind you we don’t give a shit because he’s amazing.

SETH ROLLINS: The man who broke up the shield and then got backstaged by his foster father. He’s currently on a road to redemption.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Kevin Owens retains as god intended. Seth almost wins this but Triple H interferes once again.

Molly: Kevin Owens via AUTHORITY SHENANIGAAAAAAAANS

Josh: Seth’s face turn is going to be one of the major focuses of the brand going forward, which means you can’t have him get his revenge this early. Owens wins, possibly with more help from Triple H, and continuing to plant the seeds for the big showdown between master and apprentice.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Seth’s face turn is fully complete and he begins to feud with Triple H building to a match at Survivor Series. As I already explained earlier, Owens will remain champion until Sami Zayn takes the belt off him at Wrestlemania.

Molly: It’s the Kevin Owens Show and it’s going to stay that way so long as I have an imagination and a laptop… And, someone to format my shit and get it on Geekscape so I never have to return to AO3 again (hello darkness, my old friend). I love that all of Kevin’s ass-kissing has paid off and Stephanie McMahon’s slow distancing herself from Seth has culminated in this feud. I hope this feud keeps going as Seth makes Roman his bodyguard (explained at length earlier in my Rusev vs Roman write-up) and they slowly turn face (well, Seth face and Roman just likable) despite most of the roster not liking them very much. Kinda like how they very much not liked the Shield at first! Kevin, meanwhile, just keeps being Kevin. I personally never get sick of his feud with Sami and if it’s over a belt, even better. But I wanna save that for further down the line, say, the Royal Rumble, when surprise return entrant Finn Bálor wants the title back from Kevin but has to go through his BFF Sami to do it. Anyone else love how much they’ve built Finn and Sami’s friendship following the draft even though they have only interacted at house shows and on social media, never on television. Kind of adorable. They’d make a cute coup- I SAID I’M NOT GOING BACK TO AO3, DAMMIT. So until the Rumble built to break my heart happens, I want to see the space filled in between then and now with matches to build the likes of Neville into a title contender. Shit, maybe have Owens face a new signee cruiserweight that got lucky (JACKFUCKINGGALLAGHER).

Josh: Rollins will keep pushing Steph’s buttons while Mick is caught in the middle. After continuously getting screwed, he’ll keep moving towards that match with Triple H, which is pretty much the same story the main event has told for years now. Kevin will keep looking like the undeserving champion, (no matter how much the crowd says otherwise), until a monster babyface like Roman or even Sami dethrones him. My bets are on the former.