Chris Jericho | Geekscape

Wrestling Recap: The AEW Dynamite Debut!

by Josh JacksonOctober 2, 2019

The show opens with a hard hitting opening followed by a huge pyro display. Hearing JR’s voice as a full building goes crazy with signs as far as you can see is giving off huge 90’s wrestling vibes. Alongside Excalibur and Tony Schiavone, we head into the AEW debut match!

Cody vs Sammy Guevara

Cody’s rises from the bottom of the stage alongside his wife Brandi. Let’s see if the rising stage is a constant thing of if Cody gets the Triple H entrance every week. Good to see they had the foresight to leave Pharoh in the back this time. Seeing how big Cody is feels rewarding to watch considering this all happened because he dared to bet on himself.

Sammy Guevara looks like a small child, especially with that panda hood on. He impressed in Lucha Underground, so I’m expecting him to hold his own against AEW’s EVP.

Huge “Sammy sucks” chants. This crowd is giving this match a big fight feel already. Hopefully this translates to Sammy being popular in his own right. Both guys are showing off their strengths, as Cody focuses more on traditional wrestling and Sammy relies on his agility. Guevara shows off his lack of sportsmanship with a slap, followed by Cody responding in kind before pulling off a figure four. Sammy gets the ropes as the crowd erupts in a “let’s go Cody” chant. Cody overpowers Sammy in the corner with a series of open hand chops, then follows up with a delayed front suplex. Cody lets his arrogant side show with some Scott Steiner style push-ups. Sammy rallies briefly before Cody hits a springboard cutter for a two-count. Sammy hits a springboard cutter of his own from the apron with similar results. The announcers are heavily emphasizing the importance of wins and losses, emphasizing the importance of every match. Good move on their part!

As Sammy rolls out of the ring, Cody goes for a toupe before his opponent pulls Brandi in the way. Huge “asshole” chants from the crowd. Sammy then takes control, missing two moonsaults before hitting a standing shooting star press. Guevara gets knocked onto the middle rope, allowing Brandi to get some revenge by slapping him. Cody hits a Disaster Kick that turns Sammy inside out, but only results in a two! The two climb to the top rope, leading to Cody hitting a reverse suplex, also for a two! Both Cody and Brandi are selling the urgency of the match as we enter its last 10 minutes, with Sammy being pushed as a resilient dickhead. Cody climbs again, but Sammy leaps up to the top rope and hits a top rope Spanish Fly! Sammy climbs to the top one last time for a top rope Shooting Star Press, but gets the knees up and turns it into a cradle for the win! An unexpected, but earned finish. I probably would have made Cody look a little more dominant by hitting his move for the win, but I liked the creativity of the finish! Hopefully this means that the weekly show will have some unexpected, avoiding formulaic approaches to the matches.

Tony Schiavone enters the ring to interview an emotional Cody, but Sammy pulls him in before reaching for a handshake. This supposed show of sportsmanship ends up being a distraction as Chris Jericho hits the ring and beats Cody down before holding his belt up high.

Interesting note: When the angle ended and the first commercial started, the commercial played in a slightly larger window while the replays and footage during the commercial continued to play off to the side. This is a great way to stand out, since while WWE will do the same during a match, AEW is letting us see what home audiences would typically miss during breaks. Let’s hope this is a constant thing! It gives the home audience a reason to stay on the channel while live audiences won’t be forced to sit in the dark for 3 minutes while the wrestlers stand around pretending not to move.

The break ends as Jericho powerbombs Cody onto two chairs. This is a REALLY long beatdown! Jericho walks away and cuts a promo introducing himself with his Bubbly shirt in full view, (nice touch with the Bubly commercial by the way).

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Brandon Cutler vs. MJF

The Twitter D&D feud comes to a head after Maxwell Jacob Friedman became the biggest heel in the nerd-verse after saying he doesn’t play it. MJF is quickly met with his own “asshole” chants as he introduces himself to the viewers. A brief exchange ends with Cutler backflipping over MJF followed by a disrespectful slap. He then hits what I can only describe as a Canadian Sunset Flip before MJF thumbs him in the eye and takes control. The fight spills to the outside with Cutler hitting a toupe followed by some mounted punches. Apparently, Cutler hurt his knee from the dive and loses his balance at the top rope. He charges into the corner, but MJF holds the referee in the way. He takes Cutler down, slaps on the Salt of the Earth, (an armbar variation), for the tapout. The finish felt like it came out of nowhere and didn’t play into the injured leg at all. Also, Cutler’s knee injury came off as him just losing his balance, making the finish fall flat. Good overall, but nothing special.

Turns out the dual screen commercial breaks is an occasional thing. We’re back to full screen commercials after that match.

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes being interviewed about the Jay and Silent Bob reboot starring Jericho! I hope he got a thank you out of it!

Jack Evans and Anjelico interrupt them and mock Morris Day and the Time. Mewes points out that they should run their mouths less and focus on winning a match. Private Party comes to the actors’ defense, surely setting up a match down the line.

SoCal Uncensored cuts a pre-taped promo pretending to be Obama and the Secret Service, (who would have known Scorpio Sky can do such a great Obama impersonation?), before declaring, as expected, that DC is “The Worst Town They’ve Ever Been In!” Tony then interviews them, where Scorpio announces that Christoper Daniels and Frankie Kazarian will be representing the group in the upcoming tag team tournament, giving them the experience edge. The Lucha Bros interrupt, declaring that they’re the greatest tag team in the universe. Pentagon Jr declares they have “Cero Miedo” as the two teams begin to brawl.

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Hangman Page vs PAC

We’re finally getting the match we were supposed to get at Double or Nothing! Page gets the pyro treatment, as all cowboys should. By the way, there’s something hilarious about PAC being announced as “The Bastard”, even if it’s his actual nickname.

After the latest commercial break, PAC slides into the ring from the outside and hits a head kick. The two go back and forth with progressively powerful strikes before Page finally takes PAC down with a huge lariat. A huge “Cowboy Shit” chant breaks out as Page beats PAC down outside the ring. Page hits a suicide dive and throws PAC into the ring. PAC eventually regains control after hitting a quebrada to the outside. A springboard splash only gets a two, leading to PAC going for the submission that he beat Kenny Omega with at All Out. PAC goes up top, but Page follows him up before landing a top rope fall away slam. PAC launches Page as hard as possible into the post as we go to our second screen-in-screen commercial break. The actual match is still going as the commercial plays, so my sentiment about not missing the action during commercials is already a wash. Let’s just hope PAC is still in control when the break ends so it wouldn’t have created a situation where you miss the momentum shift.

And good! PAC is still in control as the show comes back from break. Page rallies with a spinebuster and rolls through as he attempts the Deadeye, (in a way where it looked like PAC reversed it into a Sunset Flip and gave up halfway through). Page counters a top rope attack with a discus forearm, which leads to a moonsault to the outside and the Buckshot Lariat. As Page looks like he’s closing in on the win, PAC pulls Earl Hebner in the way and hits him with a low blow. PAC pulls in Page to the corner and hits the Black Arrow on Page on the back before winning with the Brutalizer submission, closing out a very good match!

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Britt Baker comes out for commentary as we head into our first ever AEW championship match between Nyla Rose and Riho. I hope Britt appearing doesn’t give away the ending of this match, with the babyface commentator confronting the victorious heel, (Nyla), in the post-match segment. Match introductions are being handled like a big championship match, which is always cool to see for the women.

Riho takes control early by using her speed to out-maneuver the much larger Rose. Riho slides out from under a pin and goes for a double stomp, but Nyla stands up with Riho on her back, leaving Riho looking scared at the idea that her offense isn’t working. Nyla overwhelms Riho with a series of slams and a delayed suplex. Nyla hits a brutal looking spinning elbow into the ropes, but when she goes for another one, Riho hits a pair of Kenny Omega-esque knees. Riho climbs to the top and dives onto Nyla, but Rose caught her low in an impressive display of strength! Then… Nyla goes for a chair? Why? If she hits Riho with it, she’ll be disqualified and lose the title match! The ref saves Nyla’s chances by stripping the chair from her, but now Nyla is piling chairs ont the floor. Isn’t this still going to be a DQ? Riho better let Nyla hit her with them. But of course… Nyla goes for a Senton and Riho moves, sending Nyla crashing down to her own chairs. Riho nails a double stomp of of the stairs as the competitors climb back into the ring. Riho hits one more stomp to the back for a two count, which the crowd seemed to have bought as a false finish. The crowd is coming alive with a Riho chant as we go to our third picture to picture break of the show.

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During the break, Riho has Nyla in a crossface submission and goes for a crucifix before Nyla reverses it into a Samoan Drop. Riho gets hung up on the top rope, then Rose hits a violent knee drop from the corner for a two. This is the opposite of the last two breaks where important developments are taking place during the break. That’s a page from WWE’s book that you DON’T want to take.

Riho goes for a backdrop on her opponent, (that weighs over double her size), but collapses under the weight. Kind of a scary spot that they really didn’t need to try. Riho keeps trying to rally, but Nyla keeps stopping her. A great looking roll up convinces the crowd that Riho won the match, but Nyla kicks out at 2.99! The crowd is losing their minds as Riho continues to fight back. Nyla climbs to the top rope, but Riho chases after her. Loud “AEW” chants in the crowd! It’s really picking up here. Riho hits a Northern Lights Suplex from the top rope for a 2! Riho misses a knee to the front, but spins around to hit one to the back followed by double knees to the front for the win! Riho becomes the first ever AEW Women’s World Champion in the best match of the night and one of AEW’s best in its brief tenure! I thought this was an incredible underdog match that was rough at points, but the story that it told was fantastic. The last five minutes in particular was an incredible back and forth battle, making Riho’s win feel earned.

Michael Nakazawa runs into the ring to interview Riho on behalf of the Japanese fans, but Nyla hits the ring and hits Nakazawa with a Double-Clutch Liger Bomb, (which was probably them covering for Nyla almost dropping Nakazawa). Rose tries to brutalize Riho, but KENNY OMEGA RUNS OUT FOR THE SAVE! Is this setting up a Kenny versus Nyla feud? That would be incredibly intriguing, if not a bit problematic. We’ll see where this goes, but Nyla’s feud with Riho seems far from over.

We’re heading straight into the main event with a Being The Elite themed entrance!

The Young Bucks and Kenny Omega vs. Chris Jericho and LAX

Kenny’s getting his cardio in after running out, back, then out again! Also, I’ll never not laugh on Jericho using nicknames he made up in New Japan against opponents he finished feuding with months ago. Anyway, the match gets underway, with a tease of Jericho versus Omega before Santana gets tagged in. Jericho sneaks a tag and goes for the Walls of Jericho on Kenny, but the Bucks immediately hit a double superkick before doing a double dive to the outside. Kenny prepares for a dive, but Moxley runs in from behind! Kenny knows something is up, but it’s too late. Moxley starts beating down Kenny and drags him into the crowd. The Bucks are now in a three-on-two situation, but the focus has completely left the match and is following Mox and Kenny. Omega fights back with a mop after wiping down the floor, (as The Cleaner. Get it!?) Moxley soon gets control of the fight, which spills into the VIP area. Moxley then… hits the Paradigm Shift DDT through a glass table!? That explains the staph infections.

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We come back from the last break with LAX in control of the Young Bucks. It’s safe to say we won’t see Omega anymore for the rest of the night. Nick is swept off the apron as Matt goes for a tag, then LAX hits a series of combination attacks for the two. Jericho tags in but is taken down by Matt. Ortiz tags back in and takes down Nick as he climbs back onto the apron. Matt hits a corkscrew stunner out of the corner, but Santana tags in and once again stops the tag. Matt hits the multiple Northern Lights Suplex on Ortiz, then ducks Santana’s attack into a double Northern Lights! Nick gets the hot tag and runs wild on all three opponents, including a soccer kick, a dive and a double stomp in the span of about 10 seconds. Nick tags in Matt, but Jericho gets the blind tag and lands a sudden Codebreaker. LAX hit Matt with one more double-team attack, then throws Matt into Jericho for the Judas Effect for the win.

LAX and Jericho beat down the Bucks after the match, but Cody runs down for the save! He fights off Jericho and LAX, but Sammy Guevara runs down and shrugs before hitting Cody with a low blow! Dustin Rhodes, (complete with face paint, just in case you need to suddenly run in to save your younger brother), runs in for the second save, but then Jake Hager, (the former Jack Swagger, or as JR referred to him, “Jake Hager of Bellator fame)”, keeps the odds in the heels’ favor. Loud “We The People” chants break out as The Elite are decimated. Dustin is hit with a painful looking gut wrench powerbomb through a table that doesn’t quite break! With the heroes destroyed, LAX, Sammy, Jake and Jericho stand tall as the first episode of AEW Dynamite comes to an end.

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Final Thoughts:

At the end of the first match, I said I hoped Sammy didn’t get lost after that debut. I’m so happy that it looks like he’s going to be in a top heel stable alongside Jericho. Everyone knows about MJF’s bright future, but I’m stoked to see where Sammy goes from here.

I joked about Cody’s special entrance, but he ended up being the only one to get one. Not that I mind, but it will surely amplify the naysayers calling this Cody’s vanity project. Not that they’d be likely to be convinced by anything.

The matches tonight were on point. PAC and Page delivered big, as did Cody and Sammy. The final tag match was insane in an old WCW kind of way. Hopefully this won’t be a constant thing or it might wear thin, but as the end of a debut episode, it was fantastic insanity.

The match of the night though, had to be the women’s match. It had its issues, mostly due to the nonsensical attempt to use a blatant chair shot, but when the match picked up, there was not a person in the arena in their seats. Riho winning was a shocker, and the teased angle between Nyla and Kenny will give us something to think about in the weeks to come. My only worry with that is with the influx of transphobic hate thrown at Nyla as it is, moving her into a feud with a man so soon into her run will surely raise eyebrows. We’ll see where this goes.

Who would have thought that Jack Swagger of all people would be the big surprise as a new major promotion went off the air? And that people would be losing their minds over it!? Let’s hope that “Bellator’s own” will shine in ways that he wasn’t allowed to in the past, much like Cody himself.

Overall, this show had a real Nitro / Raw Is War feel in the way that there was constant insanity. The pacing was off a bit, with the first half being promo heavy and the second half being match heavy, but with some fine tuning, AEW could find itself at the top of its game so soon into its TV run. Especially when you compare the improvements of this show compared to some of the shoddy production during the online shows.

That’s a wrap for the debut! Let us know if you enjoyed the recap, as we’ll continue to follow this show on a weekly basis.

Wrestle Kingdom 13 Predictions

by Josh JacksonJanuary 3, 2019

Wrestle Kingdom 13 is tonight! As the biggest show of the year for New Japan Pro Wrestling, the January 4th show always has huge concequences to go with the amazing matches that are regularly delivered. This year in particular is looking like one of the greatest cards ever on paper, and knowing the talent involved, chances are they will come through on that potential. And it’s sponsored by BanG Dream!

Here are our predictions for the show, ranging from some no-brainers to some toss-ups up and down the show.

Makabe, Yano and Taguchi vs Nagata, Cobb and Finlay vs Goto, Beretta and Chuckie T vs Suzuki, Archer and Smith vs Page, Yujiro and Scrull. Gauntlet match for the NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship #1 contendership.

For what I would consider the least important title in the company, this #1 contender match is essentially on the card to get everyone who didn’t get a big match on the pre-show. It’s a shame to see Suzuki and Goto with nothing major to do on the show considering they had my sleeper match of the show at WK 12, but at least they’re on at all. I’m guessing Suzuki-Gun takes the win since they’re an actual long term team and aren’t leaving the company in a matter of weeks. Plus, Suzuki-Gun needs some gold in their group.

Ibushi vs Ospreay for the NEVER Openweight championship

Opening the show is a match that many expect to be a match of the year contender despite taking place four days into 2019. Ospreay making and Ibushi haven’t had a chance to clash prior to now since they were in separate divisions, which is why this match has become one of the most anticipated on an already stacked show. I say Ibushi retains after the two fight in a thrilling bout to see who can land on their heads the most.

Kanemaru and El Desperado vs Ropongi 3K vs Bushi and Takagi for the Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship

Despite being the champions coming in, Kanemaru and El Desperado have an uphill battle when it comes to retaining their Jr. Tag Team titles. Roppongi 3K have been the chosen ones of the division for awhile, but the newly acquired Shingo Takagi could use a big win on a show that seems poised to set NJPW up for the long term future. This is why I think Bushi and Shingo of LIJ will win the titles.

Tomohiro Ishii vs Zack Sabre Jr for the Rev Pro British Heavyweight Championship

Two incredible wrestlers that often spend their time in the shadows of their stable leaders, both Ishii and ZSJ had breakout 2018’s in their own way. Now clashing for a different company’s title, the Japanese Ishii will ironically be defending his title of British Heavyweight Champion against the British submission machine. After a hard hitting battle, I’m giving the win to ZSJ.

Guerrillas of Destiny vs EVIL and Sanada vs The Young Bucks for the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship

This match has me torn. After going through the World Tag League, I’d love to see LIJ add another set of titles to their ranks as EVIL and Sanada are two of my favorites in the company. However, Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa have the stench of the failed Bullet Club Civil War feud on them that they desperately need to shed. The only thing I know for sure is that The Young Bucks obviously aren’t winning, but although my heart says LIJ will win, logic dictates that GOD will retain. But screw logic. Bring it home, LIJ!

Cody vs Juice Robinson for the US Championship

This match is another no-brainer given the news that Cody is starting AEW. This makes the decision to give Cody the US Title in the first place even more confusing, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Juice Robinson will win back the US title and send Cody off towards his new venture. It’s just a shame that Juice’s momentum had to be hurt in the process.

Kushida vs Taiji Ishimori for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship

The Junior Division was set to belong to Hiromu Takahashi before he was hurt in July. Once again, this match is one that looks to set up the future of NJPW. KUSHIDA has been a staple of the Jr. division for years and has had nearly every match he could have in NJPW. Ishimori on the other hand, is being set up to be a force in the division after coming over from NOAH. Both have a case for being two of the best wrestlers in the world, but with KUSHIDA representing the old guard and rumors of signing to an American company continuing to swirl, Ishimori will win his first singles title in NJPW to send KUSHIDA off.

Kazuchika Okada vs Jay White for the heart of Gedo

Throughout 2018, Okada went from breaking a championship record to losing his title, his identity, his manager and has seen his stable thrown into chaos, (no pun intended), after Jay White delivered on his promise to stab him in the back before becoming the new leader of the Bullet Club. Since the G1, Okada has slowly regained hints of what made him the Rainmaker, but he’s been foiled by Jay in every tag team encounter they’ve had since. While White would be a made man if he beat Okada at the dome, 2019 will be about the rebuilding of the Rainmaker. And that story will start when Okada beats Jay White and gets some revenge on Gedo for good measure.

Chris Jericho vs Tetsuya Naito for the IWGP Intercontinental Championship

I mentioned in the previous prediction that 2019 will be the year that rebuilds Okada, and the same will be true for Naito. After losing the Intercontinental Title to Jericho in the first place, Y2J’s sporadic appearances have meant that the belt he carries has been largely absent. Now this match is being treated more like a grudge match that happens to have a title on the line, which makes sense since Naito has notoriously hated holding this belt, but ironically, winning this belt will be what puts Naito back on track when he beats Jericho.

Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship

Omega etched his name in the history books when he finally beat Okada for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship at Dominion, a feat Hiroshi Tanahashi has failed to accomplish for years. But since Tana won the G1 tournament and was named the #1 contender for the belt heading into Wrestle Kingdom 14, this feud has become about more than just the title. Even more so than the incredible comeback story that Tanahashi has told heading into the event, this match is about the ideals that will carry New Japan into the future. One side represents changing the world through Western personalities and YouTube shows. The other has seen growth because of the traditions and stars of Japan, fearing that the company he’s dedicated a decade and a half to will become unrecognizable under Omega’s reign. Yet, when it’s all said and done, after showing the undeniable fighting spirit that The Ace is known for, I’m guessing that Kenny Omega will retain in the best match of the night.

So there you have it! Any predictions you agree with or any you think are off the mark? Let us know in the comments!

Fantasy Booking: Clash of Champions 2016

by SaintmortSeptember 23, 2016

We’re like two months into this brand split and I’m already feeling drained by having a pay-per-view every two weeks, but here we are. This time it’s the Raw solo pay-per-view. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I have a feeling in September Smackdown is gonna have the better Pay-Per-View.

Since I have nothing to say here’s a disclaimer from Molly:
You know you’re training to be a professional wrestler when you spend your breaks at your minimum wage retail job writing a fantasy booking column on the back of the hand out you got in the ER when you broke your ankle trying to resorte out of a headscissors chinlock! No, I don’t know why paperwork from 9 months ago was still in my purse. Yes, I really did all of that.

Match #1: Alicia Fox Vs. Nia Jax (Pre-Show Match)

NIA JAX: She is a large, bad-ass and beautiful murder machine who has crushed every local talent WWE has thrown at her and is now ready to take out some established roster members.

ALICIA FOX: There’s been a real lacking of Fox on WWE TV lately but when she is on TV she’s always flipping a shit and it’s always entertaining

WHO WINS:
Matt: Nia Jax is definitely winning this the only question is how quickly is she winning this? There has never been a more fitting Pre-Show Match. A quick no stakes match is perfect pre-show fodder. Way better than when the tag belts or titular survivor series matches are the pre-show events. Alicia Fox is a good wrestler who’s great at playing crazy but let’s be serious here… you don’t build Nia with a series of Squash matches for Alicia Fox to take her out.

Molly: Nia Jax with Muscle buster off the top rope… What, she’s only 2 inches shorter and 10 lbs lighter than Samoa Joe anyway!

Josh: Nia’s too early into her run to lose to a lower card performer like Alicia, no matter how much I love her. Foxy doesn’t have a chance. By the way, I just learned that a group of foxes is called “a leash.” That facepalm was about a decade in the making…

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Nia is going to continue to dominate. She’s going to crush everyone who comes in her path… until Auska gets called up to the main roster in time for Nia Jax vs. Auska to be a Wrestlemania worthy event. I feel like I saw it in NXT once before (I really can’t remember) but even if I did… that was a different less confident Nia. Main Roster Nia has been dope and I hope she continues to be dope for a long time. Also she should be in the Royal Rumble.

Molly: I hope this match turns out to be better than the crowd expects; better than your average pre-show match. Because honestly, Alicia Fox has impressed me the few times I’ve seen her wrestle recently. Specifically in a house show match I saw live between her and Natalya back in July. Alicia can go, but she’s still considered a ‘total diva’. She’s a great stepping stone for Nia to prove that she’s still a human wrecking ball when her opponent is getting in offense. I wanna see more TV time for Alicia where she’s wrestling and not dress shopping with Paige. Maybe getting involved in the title hunt so the crowd doesn’t get tired of the same 3 horsewomen all the time. But really, if you’re sick of the horsewomen, who the fuck are you. And I hope this starts Nia working her way up with matches longer than a minute. I wasn’t convinced when she was drafted from NXT because I really don’t think Nia has hit her stride and found her comfort zone yet. The longer matches with more experienced opponents unafraid of her throwing them across the ring will only benefit her. If you want her to squash opponents, let her start squashing some lower tier dudes. I might even try to get some hotter heel heat on her by booking her in mixed tag matches with her cousin, Roman Reigns (I’m positive every Samoan is related at this point). Once in a while my quest to book Nia Jax as this generation’s Chyna takes precedence over my need for a sorta-Shield reunion.

Josh: Fox will fade back into obscurity while Nia continues her climb to eventually become a championship contender. If she’s healthy, I can see Paige being her next feud. If not, Fox will probably continue the feud for an extra month.

Match #2: T.J. Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick (For the Cruiserweight Title)

T.J. PERKINS: Just won the CWC and got a trophy almost as tall as half the people in the CWC. He loves to Dab.

BRIAN KENDRICK: Was one-half of one of the longest reigning tag-teams in WWE history (with Geekscape family member Paul London). He looks like the bassist of the Lone Rangers.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I really wish it was going to be Kendrick because he was so fucking amazing in the CWC but it will be T.J. Perkins. The man hasn’t even appeared on the main roster yet. There’s no way he’s losing his debut match.

Molly: TJ Perkins. If there is any logical way for Perkins to flip out of Kendrick attempting another burning hammer and turning it into the knee bar then I need to see it happen.

Josh: TJ is winning, and there’s no doubt in my mind about it. Kendrick was picked as the contender because he’s a reliable guy that the fans recognize, and who better to put over the new champion as a threat while being able to take his move set?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Perkins will continue to be champ for a while until Cedric Alexander wins it and becomes the dude everyone talks about for the rest of his life. Meanwhile Kendrick is going to have an awesome run as the aged angry heel that will cheat to stay on top. I am DREAMING of when I get to see him and Jack Gallaher have a match because if CWC taught me anything… those dudes can tell amazing stories with no words and I want to see that story telling mix as soon as humanly possible.

Molly: Last year, if you had told me that TJ Perkins (who I first encountered as Suicide in TNA) and The Brian Kendrick were having a WWE pay per view match for a cruiserweight title in the year of our lord 2016, I would’ve asked how you got in my house before back-handing you into the fucking sun. I am ecstatic that this is happening, and I wanna see both these dudes built into the heavyweights of the cruiserweights.

Perkins just won the Cruiserweight Classic. It would be a pretty huge dick move to undo what he’s worked towards all summer (on top of an 18 year indy career that involved a lot of getting shit on) to put the belt on Kendrick after one match. Though it is most definitely a move I could see WWE pulling. Kendrick’s redemption story is fantastic, especially while he’s still playing the heel fans initially loved him as, and it needs to go as long as possible. Now that the CWC is over, wrestlers previously uncategorizable as good/bad have to start taking a side. I hope this gives us a Kendrick that we want to root for even though he can’t give up his old ways and is still an asshole in-ring. And a Perkins that is such a flashy, glittery, show off of a heel that he literally blinds us when he dabs and we still clap for him while bleeding out the eyes.

Josh: Since the division is still kind of a husk at the moment, it’s hard to make any concrete observations. TJ will definitely carry the title for a good amount of time, but with no characters associated with these acts at the moment, we’re veering towards the division becoming a series of meaningless matches. If I were to pick however, I would make Swan or Cedric the next contender, just to continue to highlight the better workers.

Match #3: Cesaro vs. Sheamus (Final Part of the Best Out of 7 Series for a Title Shot)

CESARO: The man speaks multiple languages, tailors his own tear away suits and is so bad ass that it’s not unreasonable to consider him the reason that girl you like won’t date you.

SHEAMUS: He played a CGI Rhino in a movie out on DVD this week.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Cesaro has to win this right? Like… we can’t give it to Sheamus… if we give it to Sheamus than what the fuck was this all about to begin with? I’m heavily leaning towards Cesaro but if Sheamus wins… I won’t be shocked. Cesaro. Final Answer Regis.

Molly: Sheamus via some shit that proves Sheamus is a strong main event presence despite Cesaro being the crowd favorite

Josh: It all depends what the vague promise of a “championship opportunity” means. If it’s for the Universal Title, Cesaro will pull off the four match streak and become Kevin’s new contender. If it’s for the U.S. Title… I still say Cesaro, because seeing him fight Rusev would be much better than Sheamus vs. Reigns for the tenth time in a year. Queue the sirens, Cesaro is taking this!

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: I’m as confused as to the future of these two as I am who is gonna win. Sheamus just continues to be irrelevant in wrestling world and Cesaro is so under utilized… but if I’m going to fantasy book this one I think Cesaro is next to try to take down Owens. I don’t think he succeeds but he puts in a good series of matches. He then chases mid-card gold and (if Reigns doesn’t do it already) becomes the man to beat Rusev for the U.S. Title.

Molly: Because I need Cesaro to be furious and go on a tear after this series, regardless of who deserves what. “You make me waste my time and talents in a feud going nowhere that no one cares about, and because I lose, that undoes everything I’ve accomplished? Hell no,” Cesaro screams at Jojo. I need Cesaro so enraged that when Survivor Series hits, he doesn’t get tagged in until the very end out of spite from his teammates, and when he finally does, he annihilates the other team, eliminating the majority of them and scaring the shit out of everyone else. There’s a lot of talk amongst wrestling fans over who is most ‘deserving’ of pushes. Fans like Cesaro cause he’s a great worker, not cause he’s heel or face. It’s a mindset that, while very respectful to the talent, makes it difficult to suspend disbelief when watching a wrestling show anymore. The best way to further blur the lines and do kayfabe in 2016 is to have Cesaro disregard all of the compliments from fans and criticisms from those in charge and have him just wreck house. Running in on matches, getting disqualified for excessive violence and the like, while Sheamus is like “that fella’s a bleeding nutcase and almost murdered me, it was not worth winning the series.”

Josh: Like Sami, Cesaro’s character arc is currently around his frustration over being stagnant. In Cesaro’s case however, it’s been much more at the forefront. He gets screwed against the Universal Championship, loses that shot, and turns heel out of frustration. Either that, or he gets traded to Smackdown somehow, but seeing as the only apparent way to switch shows is to lose to Jinder Mahal, I’m not expecting that anytime soon.

Match #4: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns (for U.S. Title)

RUSEV: Remember Rocky 4? He’s basically Drago from Rocky 4.

ROMAN REIGNS: Remember The Rock? He’s related to him. WWE thinks that means we’ll love him. They’re wrong.

WHO WINS:
Matt: This is another one I’m torn on. Reigns as U.S. Champion I could live with but I think Rusev is just killing it right now and the time isn’t right. Rusev should remain champion tonight but I’m very accepting to being wrong. Plus if Reigns has the U.S. Title at least he’s no longer a guest on the Kevin Owens show for a while.

Molly: Roman Reigns. How? Fuck if I care!

Josh: As much as I hate to say it since Rusev is my favorite guy on the roster, Roman has to win here. He’s still the company’s golden boy, and after eating a series of big losses, it’ll be time for the Big Dog to build his momentum back up. Plus, it would give him a reason to stay out of the main title picture until they’re ready to resume the Roman Reigns experiment.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Rusev is going to continue to crush until Cesaro wrecks him and the entire globe rejoices. Meanwhile Reigns will basically get booed out of every building until he’s turned heel and suddenly everyone loves him because wrestling fans don’t care how good of a wrestler you are… they just care about their opinion being heard.

Molly: I want to care. I really do. But following the misogyny of ‘fighting for Lana’s honor’ and whatever mess that finish was at Summerslam, it’s really hard to care. Rusev’s reign isn’t going anywhere in this feud with Roman because of the tug-of-war going on between fans and writers over Roman’s likability. Best thing is to get Rusev out of it entirely and shake off the terrible storylines he keeps getting put in. He’s a great monster heel; let him be the stone wall Cesaro hits in his rampage. As for Roman, you know what fans liked him doing? Being the silent big dude in the Shield. You know who could use some help now that the Authority hates him? Fellow former Shield member, Seth Rollins. I wanna see them team up again. Seth tries to get Roman to trust him again while Roman’s always positive Seth is just after a title to prove he has worth even if he can’t beat Owens. Plus there are no 2 people on the RAW roster who both hate the Authority more at this point, and Seth could use a heater in his corner.

Josh: A rematch followed by a directionless Rusev. Fortunately, the Rumble will be a few short months away, which is when many of the upper midcard guys get a soft reset as the big matches shape up. Roman will feud with a top level guy like Jericho before finally losing the belt in a way that makes him look strong, before stepping back onto the top of the card.

Match #5 Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho (For the enjoyment of seeing two masters go at it)

SAMI ZAYN: If Ska music could be personified it’d be Sami Zayn. With no evidence what-so-ever I’m confident he donated to Five Iron Frenzy’s Kickstarter 5 years ago.

CHRIS JERICHO: Depending on your age he was either your favorite wrestler as a kid… or your dad’s favorite wrestler when he was a kid.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I actually didn’t realize how unsure I am about these matches until working on this write-up. That actually makes me a little excited about this pay-per-view. The fan in me wants to say Sami Zayn wins this … but the fan in me also knows Zayn is best when he ALMOST wins but loses to Jericho.

Molly: Christ Jericho (these are not typos, I know what I wrote, Jericho is God) Does anyone tap to the Walls of Jericho anymore? Have Sami tap and hate himself for it. Have him tap to the lion tamer so I can go from really stoked cause I love that hold to really sad cause Sami lost.

Josh: The running theme seems to be that Sami is directionless. Knowing this, I’m guessing Jericho pulls off the win, further frustrating Sami as his former best friend carries on as champion while he can’t beat the new best friend.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: We’re taking our precious time getting there but I think this is the point that breaks Kevin Owens. Sami Zayn won the “final match” against Owens. I feel like Jericho is going to be too excited about beating Zayn which will cause Owens to eventually turn on Jericho. Let’s be honest here Fozzy has a new album and tour in 2017… they gotta write him off somehow… how about a Pop-Up Powerbomb. Then Sami needs to chase down Owens again and be the one to beat him for the Universal Title, possibly at Royal Rumble but ideally Wrestlemania main event.

Molly: Sami Zayn is “The Man of 1000 Incredible Losses” and he’s in a stride I love right now. Gets a few wins to prove he really is good, but mostly loses when the pressure’s on because screwing up when under stress is a relatable, human thing to do. Unlike Cesaro, who I may or may not want to neutralize me straight into the abyss and out of this wrestling-induced stress-coma I’m writing myself into, I want Sami to be the Bayley of the men’s division. Really talk up his unbreakable will and have him on TV every week so my great aunt can keep texting me “that Sami Zayn’s a very nice boy with a sick tornado DDT”. I want Neville built in a feud with Owens so after Sami loses valiantly in a feud with Rollins, Neville and Sami can rehash a bit of their BRILLIANT NXT feud. Where they’re friends who don’t want to hate each other, but keep getting in one another’s way and making it mad difficult to play nice. As for Jericho, there is nothing I would change about this incredible high he’s on. Keep building the fresh faces while giving us the gift of Jericho. I’m thirsty anyway.

Josh: The WWE loves to break popular guys down, only to (possibly), build them back up down the road. Keeping both him and Owens on the same show certainly means they’ll eventually redeem him by having him go over Kevin again. Whether or not its for the title is yet to be seen, but you can’t keep these guys apart for long.

Match #6 Charlotte Vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley (Triple Threat for Raw Women’s Title)

CHARLOTTE: Ric Flair’s Daughter, but she doesn’t like being associated with him, unless she’s reminding you that she’s made of his 16-time Champion Sperm. Spends her free time mocking her “friend” Dana Brooke who is a body builder who has no self respect.

SASHA BANKS: Possibly the best wrestler in WWE today (that’s including men), she’s dope AF. I don’t even have any jokes, she’s amazing, that’s all you need to know.

BAYLEY: Bayley is the wrestling fan in all-of-us. If you had to draw a person to represent the phrase “I’m just happy to be here” it’d be Bayley surrounded by anime characters hugging balloon men and… I think I have a dope idea for a T-shirt.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I’ll probably be wrong on this one but I think Sasha gets her belt back. Bayley can’t win this quickly. Bayley is female Zayn, she has to lose over and over again. Just get close … but not close enough. When she does win it needs to be a HUGE deal. Meanwhile Charlotte is a great heel but Sasha can be a better one. She needs to turn this weekend and I want her to turn … because of Dana Brooke backstab.

Molly: Charlotte by literally pressing the rewind button and causing the audience to collectively ask “didn’t we watch this on NXT but with more, oh what’s the word… enthusiasm?”

Josh: If Bayley vs Sasha is the endgame, it’s too early to draw that out all the way until April, so the best way to pull it off is to have Sasha win this match, have her pass the title back to Charlotte in October, and play out the scenario I’m predicting below.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Charlotte is going to feud with Dana Brooke and beat her time and time again. Finally at Survivor Series Emma returns to save her friend. Sasha is going to continue to be a mean-spirited as human possible until Bayley beats her at Wrestlemania and wacky wavy inflatable arm men explode out of every corner of the building.
(I realize almost all my predicts are ending at Wrestlemania but we’re basically entering Wrestlemania season where everything is just building to the Wrestlemania matches)

Molly: While yes, it would be a great comeback story for Sasha to win the title right back after back injury issues forced her loss, I think this loss could build more sympathy for Sasha so when she finally does win the title back and becomes the cocky, full-of-herself Boss champ she does best, it’ll hurt so good. I could see having Bayley win by taking the pent up fire she had facing Asuka in her NXT Women’s title rematch and redirecting it to take back her place on top. But Bayley is one character that I would love to see digress a bit; back to hug-happy super fan who needs to prove herself as legitimate once more. Out of respect for the belt and Charlotte’s character, I’d like to see her continue onwards into a feud with Dana Brooke and hopefully Charlotte will drop it to Nia Jax when Nia gets her shot in the not-too-far-off future. Meanwhile, Sasha keeps pretending to be Bayley’s friend in the match until it’s obvious Bayley’s gonna be a problem for Sasha and Sasha just goes the fuck off on her. Then pretend to be her friend some more but keep pulling shady shit until Bayley’s done playing games and Sasha’s done sitting around without a title while a fly named Bayley buzzes in her ear.

Josh: The money feud *has* to be Bayley vs. a heel Sasha at Wretlemania, right? That’s why it’s hard to believe that these two are already in the same match fighting for the title when Bayley has been around for a month. My booking would have had Sasha vs. Charlotte in a singles match, and have Sasha lose. Then have Bayley challenge and win near the Royal Rumble, only for Sasha to get jealous over her “friend” winning instead of her. Charlotte can feud with Dana or something. Maybe even a returning Emma to defend her friend?

Match #7 New Day vs. The Club (For the Raw Tag Team Belts)

THE NEW DAY: If Geekscape needed a wrestling mascot we’d pick The New Day (no offense Paul). They love comics, video games and Anime and talk in pop culture references. It’s like their promos are written by Dan Harmon.

THE CLUB: They were dope in Japan. They came to WWE to lose a bunch and hang out with A.J. Styles. In a perfect world they will be dope in WWE soon enough.

WHO WINS:
Matt: I love the New Day. I love them. But their time as Tag Team Champions needs to stop. The Club needs this win. The club needed this win last month if we’re being honest. If I’m wrong about the Women’s title there needs to be at least one title change and that change needs to be the Tag Belts.

Molly: The Club Please just let them murder the New Day, like, just ‘magic killer’ them on top of one another. I love the New Day and don’t want it to be a total squash cause that wouldn’t make sense, but please let the Club get their shit together and take this one.

Josh: I almost feel like it’s now or never for The Club, especially since all the hype surrounding their debut has all but disappeared. Yet, that’s never stopped the WWE from completely killing guys in the name of their own agenda, which seems to be having The New Day break Demolition’s record. Knowing this, New Day is winning.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: The New Day can continue to do theeir comedy schtick and being the most over thing in the WWE Universe. The Club will be absolute dominating heels and rocking the Tag Team Division until they are beaten by Enzo and Cass at the Rumble (see not all Wrestlemania Predictions)

Molly: The New Day has really done all they can do as a tag team. They’re the most successful team in this era of WWE and I AM LITERALLY. ON MY KNEES. BEGGING YOU. TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE. WHEN YOU YANKED BULLET CLUB OUT OF JAPAN. And actually book them to be the no-fucks-to-give, win-by-any-means-possible assholes they are best. On top of doing their comedy bits that made every promo they cut in 2014 absolute gold (it’s not the language barrier that made them funny; it’s how absolutely randomly ridiculous it was for a threatening team with solid matches and a winning streak to be doing Irish whip reversals mid-promo and bringing toilet seats as weapons because they were “going to shit on your life”). It also frees up the New Day to have the feud we’ve been waiting for with Enzo & Cass but with the stakes far less high. Or the feud I’m gonna wait forever and then some for, because literally only I would want cruiserweights to be capable of forming teams to enter the tag team division, and that’s New Day vs Cedric Alexander and Noam Dar. Watch the CWC finale and try to convince me Noam and Cedric shouldn’t be a team for the rest of my waking days; I dare you.

Josh: Man, these teams NEED to get away from each other. This feud has dragged both groups down to the point where its hard to care about either. The problems is that the brand is thin when it comes to tag teams,which means the only way I can see it going is for The Club to feud with Enzo and Cass while New Day has a filler feud with… The Shining Stars? Man…

Match #8 Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins (For the Universal Title)

KEVIN OWENS: People love to remind you that Kevin Owens doesn’t have the body of a wrestler. Wrestling fans love to remind you we don’t give a shit because he’s amazing.

SETH ROLLINS: The man who broke up the shield and then got backstaged by his foster father. He’s currently on a road to redemption.

WHO WINS:
Matt: Kevin Owens retains as god intended. Seth almost wins this but Triple H interferes once again.

Molly: Kevin Owens via AUTHORITY SHENANIGAAAAAAAANS

Josh: Seth’s face turn is going to be one of the major focuses of the brand going forward, which means you can’t have him get his revenge this early. Owens wins, possibly with more help from Triple H, and continuing to plant the seeds for the big showdown between master and apprentice.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT:
Matt: Seth’s face turn is fully complete and he begins to feud with Triple H building to a match at Survivor Series. As I already explained earlier, Owens will remain champion until Sami Zayn takes the belt off him at Wrestlemania.

Molly: It’s the Kevin Owens Show and it’s going to stay that way so long as I have an imagination and a laptop… And, someone to format my shit and get it on Geekscape so I never have to return to AO3 again (hello darkness, my old friend). I love that all of Kevin’s ass-kissing has paid off and Stephanie McMahon’s slow distancing herself from Seth has culminated in this feud. I hope this feud keeps going as Seth makes Roman his bodyguard (explained at length earlier in my Rusev vs Roman write-up) and they slowly turn face (well, Seth face and Roman just likable) despite most of the roster not liking them very much. Kinda like how they very much not liked the Shield at first! Kevin, meanwhile, just keeps being Kevin. I personally never get sick of his feud with Sami and if it’s over a belt, even better. But I wanna save that for further down the line, say, the Royal Rumble, when surprise return entrant Finn Bálor wants the title back from Kevin but has to go through his BFF Sami to do it. Anyone else love how much they’ve built Finn and Sami’s friendship following the draft even though they have only interacted at house shows and on social media, never on television. Kind of adorable. They’d make a cute coup- I SAID I’M NOT GOING BACK TO AO3, DAMMIT. So until the Rumble built to break my heart happens, I want to see the space filled in between then and now with matches to build the likes of Neville into a title contender. Shit, maybe have Owens face a new signee cruiserweight that got lucky (JACKFUCKINGGALLAGHER).

Josh: Rollins will keep pushing Steph’s buttons while Mick is caught in the middle. After continuously getting screwed, he’ll keep moving towards that match with Triple H, which is pretty much the same story the main event has told for years now. Kevin will keep looking like the undeserving champion, (no matter how much the crowd says otherwise), until a monster babyface like Roman or even Sami dethrones him. My bets are on the former.