Hi! I’m Joe! I review Game of Thrones for Geekscape and sometimes write other things too! Crazy, right? FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @joestarr187

Episode four, people! Last night we all got on my buddy Bob’s giant ass couch that he calls the teddy bear picnic to watch Game of Thrones and ARE THOSE NEW LOCATIONS IN THE OPENING CREDITS CAN ANYONE SEE MY PANTS TENT? To the map!

A Battlefield!

Two guards are just dropping lasers on Renly Baratheon being gay when Grey Wind murders one of them mid piss. Then a bunch of dudes shout ‘King of the North!’ and Robb and company makes their charge. ‘Mid piss ambush’ seems to be Robb’s version of a Zergling rush, and you’d think at this point the Lannisters would change some rules on guarding, peeing, and fence building for their camps. Important note: the guards referred to the soldiers of each house as ‘lions’ and ‘wolves’ for the first time I’ve noticed it in the series and it pleased me. It pleased me greatly, ser.

By morning, the Northmen have mopped everyone up and Robb has a very flirty conversation with a hot nurse. I remember how badly I wanted to bang my wife the first time I watched her saw a screaming man’s foot off, too. Her name is Talissa and Robb is clearly smitten as she rides off into the sunset and I make a fart face because she’s not in the books.

Was the made up hooker not enough?

Camp Renly! 

Kid Gladiator AKA Lil Fingerz AKA Petyr B arrives at Camp Renly and gets a little sucking up done with the King of the Beards. I’ve decided that each king is the King of Something. Robb is the King of the North. Renly is the King of the Beards. Joffrey is the King of the Fucking Crazy People and Stannis is King of the Cold, Distant Step Dads that Will Never Love You, Not Like Your Real Dad Did.

Petyr drops by to see Cat Stark, who is not thrilled to see him. He argues that he did his best to support Ned and also offers terms: Sansa and Arya for the Kingslayer. He leaves out the part where no one knows where Arya is. And then he drops Ned Stark’s bones off and peaces out like his name was Pimpfingerz AKA King of the Tidy Mustaches.

And then he saddles up to Margie Tyrell who stays clothed for their conversation. Petyr suggests that her marriage to Renly is a little odd, since he’s currently balls deep in her brother three tents back. Tyrell shrugs him off. Remember, she’s played by Natalie Dormer, and in the paper rock scissor world of Game of Thrones, Dormer beats Littlefinger, Littlefinger beats Melisandre, and Melisandre shits shadow babies on Dormer. And I think that Arya is lava.

Renly and Stannis have a parlay. The Red Lady suggests Renly look to his sins and Stannis promises that his brother will die if he doesn’t drop his claim to the throne. I love Stannis. He’s not good, and he’s not bad- he’s just technically right about the succession and is the most stubborn, cold person in the world.

Qarth!

Thank the Seven that one of Dani’s outriders found a city, because I was getting tired of them sitting there dying every episode. Stormborn, the Blood of the Dragon, the Unburnt and Chapped of Lip gathers her little brood and head for the merchant city of Quarth Qarth. She meets the Thirteen. They are the 13 richest merchants that run Qarth. So Qarth is run like the United States, AMIRIGHT? Occupy! Yes we can!

Dani refuses to show these guys her dragons, so they plan on leaving her outside the gates to starve and die, until one of the 13, Xaro Xhoan Daxos (thaaaaaaaaaaat’s my name tooooooooooo) accepts responsibility for the group and lets them in as his guests. And then he passes Dani a chapstick.

PUT THIS ON YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW KHALEESI OK THANK YOU

King’s Landing!

Everything that happened on King’s Landing in this episode was incredibly pleasant and very similar to an episode of Friendship is Magic.

Ugh. Joffrey has discovered a love of crossbows. He is a big fan of pointing them at a crying Sansa while the court looks on. He can’t kill her, so he decides to have her beaten and stripped. Tyrion storms in pissed and saves the day, and we discover that while Joffrey is crazy, he’s still not bold enough to speak up to his uncle. So that’s a good thing. Because fucking hell, that kid.

Also, in this week’s episode of Lancel LOLZ, Lancel tries to act all bad ass with Tyrion and the Imp terrifies him into being a loyal spy. Oh, Lancel.

Tyrion wonders if maybe Joffrey is crazy because he really needs to get laid. All men watching the show kind of nod and agree with this assessment and Tyrion buys the king some whores.

And then the king has one of the whores beat the hell out of the other while he watches. Because fucking hell, that kid.

Harrenhal!

Let’s pause and talk about how amazing this series is. When I read the books, I have to admit that aside from King’s Landing and Winterfell, I pretty much picture every castle as the same pile of rocks with different banners. When I read about Harrenhal, it’s the same but in a minor state of disrepair.

Holy shit, production team! Harrenhal is TERRIFYING. Usually the adaptation of a book leaves you rolling your eyes at the sparseness of the meal the adaptation hands you. So far, Game of Thrones has fed us and wrapped up leftovers. I can’t remember the last time an adaptation actually enhanced the book for me.

Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie find themselves as guests in Harrenhal, where everyone gets tortured and killed. Arya has started her prayer of people she’d like to murder to get herself to sleep. Gendry is saved from torture when Tywin Lannister arrives, and is less than thrilled that possibly good laborers are being killed, setting the group free and putting them to work. He chooses Arya to be his new cup bearer and then demands to know the location of the Ajanti Dagger.

“My brother Noompsi has forgiven me!” 

The dark and full of terrors night!

Stannis has this conversation with Davos:

Stannis: Do you miss being a smuggler?

Davos: Nope. Pretty happy with my new life. I’ve cleaned up my act, now I’m a knight, and my wife and sons have the opportunities that they never would have had if I was still skulking into caves at night stealing things and helping assassins sneak into camps.

Stannis: I need you to go skulk into a cave tonight and help an assassin sneak into Renly’s camp.

Davos: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

The assassin turns out to be the Red Lady herself, Melisandre. They banter a bit in their canoe, and we learn that Carice van Houten was cast as Mel because she gives both boners and the creeps when she talks. It’s tougher than you think and she deserves a Golden Globe.

The two discover that the passage to the camp has been barred. That’s when Melisandre drops her robe, shows off a sudden super pregnant belly, and gives birth to a shadow baby while poor Davos shits his pants.

And THAT’S how you do a cliffhanger!

SPOILER SECTION FOR NERDS THAT READ THE NERDY BOOKS

I am assuming that Talissa the Sassy Nurse is actually Jeyne Westerling and they’re trying to beef up Robb’s want to marry her over a Frey. Which I’m totally fine with, and it makes Jeyne a much cooler character.

Everyone keeps telling me that the shadow killing Renly and Davos seeing Mel crap a shadow baby happen in two different scenes but this is actually the way I remember it from the books so WELL DONE, TV SHOW.

So excited about Jaqen H’Ghar. Arya’s evolution into a murder machine is going to be so much fun to watch. I’m hoping that the series ends with her holding Bella Swan’s head by the hair and screaming ‘Valar Morghulis.’

Also, I am so excited to see Joffrey fucking die. It’ll be pretty damn satisfying.

Hi! I’m Joe! I review Game of Thrones for Geekscape and sometimes write other things too! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @joestarr187

We’re three episodes in to Season 2 of Game of Thrones and things are beginning to pick up in dear Westeros! While the first two episodes had to dedicate most of their time to catching the audience up on WHERE EVERYONE IS, ‘What Is Dead May Never Die’ kicked things into gear and got us crazy close to hitting 55 miles per hour. Let’s take a look at the map!

King’s Landing!

Tyrion began playing his Game of Hands against the King’s Small Council by telling variations of the same plan to Pycelle, Littlefinger, and Varys to find out who would rat to the queen first. The queen confronts Tyrion with the Pycelle version of the story with a fantastic show of rage between Cersei and Tyrion that will hopefully not be their last, and Pycelle gets the classic ‘in bed with a whore one moment, being dragged out by barbarians, a dwarf, and Bronn the next’ treatment. Man. College, right?

IMPORTANT OPINION YOU WILL FIND NO WHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNET: Tyrion is a fantastic character. He’s not a good guy, but he recognizes that his family can’t stay on top constantly being the douche bags that they are and is desperately trying to steer them on a decent path. Not that Joffrey is capaple of finding a decent path: if his encounter with Batman at a young age couldn’t do it, how much hope does the Dinklage have?

Katie Holmes should have let him burn.

Littlefinger ain’t happy to be a part of Tyrion’s tricks, but is probably a little happier to be dispatched by the Hand to treat with Catelyn Stark. Did you know that Littlefinger is the Kid Gladiator of Game of Thrones? I DROP TRUTH LIKE BOMBS.

Varys and Tyrion trade riddles in the dark decently lit room in a fantastic scene about the ideas of where power really comes from. It’s nice to see season 2 take the time to dig into the theme instead of constantly being in a hurry to catch you up on what everyone’s doing.

Poor Sansa has a dinner that comes dangerously close to Will Ferrell reminding Cersei that he drives a Dodge Stratus, while Mrycella and Tommen get some screen time in. Moments like the youngest Lannisters getting some character development in make me thank the Seven that Thrones wasn’t made into a series of movies. I’m looking at you, Harry Potter and the Half Assed Supporting Cast.

Did they both die? I can’t even remember. Those movies were terrible.

And in further Sansa developments, Shea is introduced as her new handmaiden. Maybe they’ll make out. Whatever, they’re both stupid.

North of the Wall!

The Night’s Watch is still camped out in Craster’s creepy little keep. Not a whole lot going on here…Sam falls in love with one of Craster’s daughterwives and gives her a thimble before leaving to reattach his shadow. Jon Snow had discovered that Craster offers his baby sons to the White Walkers and that Craster knew that he knows, and after a cryptic chat with Mormont, knows that the Bear knew what he knew already, which is surprising to Jon because he assumed that Mormont didn’t know what Craster knew that Jon had known. Did you know that? …Of course.

Winterfell!

The awesome POV wolf dreams continue! We get to see Summer as a grown direwolf! Also, Hodor! Bran attempts to explain his dreams to Luwin, who gently explains that there is no magic left in the world. It’s like the atheist response to Gandalf’s monologue about heaven in Return of the King. The movie, not the book. In the Lord of the Rings books, if it was long enough to be a monologue, it was a song.

Iron Islands!

Theon continues to be a bitch, especially in the shadow of his father and sister. Remember when he fingerbanged her? That was gross. It looks like he’s not going to hang on to any loyalties to Robb and that the Squids are gonna attack the North. They’re trying to make him sympathetic and conflicted, but remember when he fingerbanged his sister?

En Route to The Wall!

Arya can’t sleep, and Yoren shares a comforting monologue about the prayer he would use to keep the horrible things he had seen at bay: chanting the name of his brother’s killer.

The Gold Cloaks show up for Gendry with backup and Yoren dies because he shared a comforting monologue about the prayer he would use to keep the horrible things he had seen at bay with Arya. Arya frees Jaqen from getting burned alive and tells the Cloaks that the now dead Lommy was Gendry. And then they all get captured.

Also, Arya totally looks like Daniel Radcliffe from Sorcerer’s Stone.

Camp Renly!

Ser Loras is bested in a tournament by the very awesome Brienne of Tarth! Brienne is given a place in King Renly’s Kingsguard, and Renly is given the prize for ‘Best Crown.’ Seriously, it’s an awesome crown. Other things happened at Camp Renly, too. Cat Stark showed up and there was some talk of things and to be honest, I wasn’t paying attention. Natalie Dormer was on camera. She’s playing Margaery Tyrell and she’s Highgarden royalty along with Loras and she’s been married to Renly to combine his forces with Highgarden and then she takes her top off and holy shit, Natalie Dormer.

Something something Renly who cares?

SPOILER SECTION FOR NERDS THAT READ THE NERDY BOOKS

Yoren teaching Arya her prayer was a slight deviation from the book, but it game the episode an awesome ‘Captain America’s shield is in Tony’s workshop’ moment that I really loved.

I hate Shae in the books. I also hate her in the show.

Whereas in the books, I start to get bored when we’re not on a Jon Snow or Arya chapter, I’ve started to really favor the Dany stuff in the show.

When does Hagrid find Arya and say ‘yer a member of the assassin’s guild, ‘arry?’

 

 

SPOILER SECTION FOR NERDS THAT READ DANCE WITH DRAGONS

They should have named Reek Sisterfingers AMIRIGHT?

It’s a shame Luwin doesn’t live long enough for those Children of the Forest that look like the Mirkwood Elves from the Hobbit cartoon to show up.

Shut up and look at my balls, Bran! LOOK AT THEM!

 

It should come as no shock to anyone that HBO has renewed Game of Thrones for a third season, which will follow the plot of the third book in George R. R. Martin’s epic series, A Storm of Swords.  Though the second season is only 2 weeks in, the ratings speak for themselves with a solid 8.3 million viewers.  With a total of 7 books in the series, (two of which are not yet published), Game of Thrones will continue to be a stable presence on HBO’s Sunday night block for years to come.

Before the third season was even greenlit, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss started scouting locations with the assumption the show would get picked up.  Michael Lombardo, the president of HBO’s programming requested advanced planning when it comes to the show due to how involved the filming could be. “I’ve learned that on ‘Game of Thrones’ I need to hear earlier on what the challenges are for seasons we have yet to visit” Lombardo said in a March interview.

Fan favorite actor Peter Dinklage who won an emmy for his performance as Tyrion Lannister in the first season of the show talked about some of the challenges of the series as well in a recent LA Times interview. “There’s so much pressure to, in terms of this genre, make it bigger. There’s all this talk about, ‘We want more battles!’ and there’s so many fan sites.” Dinklage said.

If you missed the first two episodes of this season’s Game of Thrones be sure to check them out on HBO GO which is now available to XBOX Live subscribers!

The insanely popular book and now TV series, Game of Thrones, has branched out to another media. Games!

It’s obvious that the RPG Powerhouse, Atlus, really put their entire effort into this game. It looks AMAZING, with good voice acting and an original story written under the direct supervision of George R. R. Martin I do not feel that this game will disappoint.

Game hits stores May 15th. Thats for Xbox, PS3 and PC (STEAM).

Check out the official site for the game here.

 

This past weekend, I was having a lunch date with a fine gent who happens to be a fan of A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin. While emphatically discussing the books and the show, I made a comment on how great the women are depicted in the story and how it really could be examined as feminist literature, if you were so inclined. My date looked at me, shocked and perturbed. “Are you serious? Unless you’re [a short list of female characters which has been redacted for potential spoilers], you’re going to be raped. At least once.”

I tried to make an argument for how that was realistic, given the time period, and that the fact that GRRM even allows for women to play in his Game of Thrones was pretty awesome (Yeah, Tolkien. I’m looking at you. Eowyn aside.), but the conversation pretty much ended on that note. Which got me thinking the rest of the weekend about rape in fiction. The main question that came to my mind was, since these characters are controlled by an author (or some other conglomerate), is it okay for a character to be raped or is it fridging as usual? As with all things, it depends on its purpose and how it affects the character after the fact.

Retroactive rape is still rape.

For many a costumed heroine, rape is part of her origin story, either originally (Starfire and, depending on canon, Helena Bertinelli), or retroactively tacked on (Felicia Hardy). Even male superheroes are often subjected to rape. Though, in those cases it is less often about power and usually due to a female villain trying to breed some kind of super heir. In the Batfamily, there are only two characters that I can think of who have not yet been raped, nearly raped or a product of rape and they are Kate Kane and Cassandra Cain. Don’t worry, though, they’re pretty new to the game, so they have time. Same goes with Team Arrow, although Mia (who may be retconned?) did have some serious trauma with her history in the skin trade, but she was still able to fight crime, despite having AIDS. Even Kyle Rayner of the Green Lanterns was drugged and raped and the whole island of Themyscira is made of the souls of women who were mistreated by men in their past lives. A lot of DC references, but Marvel’s not innocent here. Ms. Marvel, the lady Hawkeye and Mockingbird have also been raped.

Kyle Rayner feels used… We’re guessing he saw the Green Lantern film too.

As you can see, rape is a prevalent trope in comics, and it affects both male and female characters with almost equal frequency (which is odd, but nice to see something is at least equal among men and women, right?). The problem with these instances is that the rapes scarcely affect the character in the long run, or at all. None of these characters dwell or angst about what happened to them. This sometimes stems from the fact that comics are serials with multiple authors over time, and depending on who is currently penning the book, he or she will concentrate on certain aspects of the character’s persona. But more often than not, it’s because these characters are viewed as weak, and not in the “I can’t carry a box that weighs more than 40lbs” weak. But in the sense that they don’t carry their own title and their existence is in virtue of the fact that they support the main hero, They are not seen as characters in their own right, so they can go through the wringer, the grinder and be served as Sunday dinner, just so the villain can “get at” the lead. None of the victims need to overcome the pain or trauma they just went through, because the pain and trauma that occurred on the previous pages wasn’t about them, but their (frequently male) cohorts and how he has been able to overcome the horrible things that just occurred to his beloved.

This is why it gets put down as “Women in Refrigerators” or “Stuffed in the Fridge” (as it may happen to men). The raping, murdering, etc. happens, but it has little to do with the character it happened to and everything to do with those who care about said character. Or it’s just to have something controversial happen to keep the books selling, but after the conclusion of the arc, it is never addressed again and no real healing occurs, either for the victim or the reader. And that is why there is a problem with rape as it is often depicted.

Though, those characters that are “strong”–Kyle Rayner, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson–either don’t remember the event or just never bring it up again. Either way, weird. You’d think a man like Bruce Wayne, with so many emotional issues, would have a serious problem with Talia Al Ghul taking advantage of him, but apparently not! Although, I have a serious qualm with that whole scenario in and of itself, as it stems from a pretty good story (Son of the Demon), where Bruce may actually have found his one true love. And while I’m no fan of Talia (and a Cat x Bat ‘shipper to the end!), it was nice to see The Detective happy with a woman. For once. As for Dick Grayson, maybe he is so jaded by all his romantic trysts that he finds it all old hat and doesn’t care that he’s been raped–twice. I don’t know the reasons why these issues are never addressed, but I definitely find it curious. Why have a rape scenario if you’re not going to address it?

Batman: A Victim of Rape. Yes. BATMAN.

Before writing this article, I looked up the statistics for rape. According to the US Department of Justice, by way of Wikipedia, 1 in 6 women are either victims of rape or have been nearly/partially raped. In the US. That’s just under 17%, and I’m not certain if that is adjusted to include the number of rapes that go unreported. Either way, it’s a more frequent occurrence than how many women develop breast cancer in their lifetime (1 in 8), and that has a whole month dedicated to it, and it means we all know someone who is dealing with that trauma, whether we are aware of it or not. Which means, every writer of comic books knows–or, possibly, is–someone who has been raped or nearly raped, which gets me to thinking, as statistics are wont to do: if you know someone who is suffering, be it deeply or something that only crosses her mind when there is a trigger present, wouldn’t you want to create characters that actually deal with their pain rather than ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen?

Which brings me back to A Song of Ice and Fire. By virtue of the fact that it has one author, George R. R. Martin, and, potentially, a definitive beginning and end, all of the events that happen in the novels occur with purpose. Additionally, is written from 3rd person multi-perspective, meaning the reader gets to view the events from a variety of different view points. Some of these characters are women, and some of those women go through the wringer, grinder and are (nearly) served up as Sunday dinner and some of them do the wringing, grinding and serving. It’s a wild world in Westeros, but the pain is palatable. They aren’t just victims, even if we sometimes think of them that way. Despite all her faults, Sansa is aiming to survive and live through her experiences just as much as the beguiling Cersei, come hell or high water. If you can give even your most loathsome character that trait, then even if everyone around her views her as pathetic, she still has a lot of grit to her. That’s right, I said it: Sansa has grit. It doesn’t matter how much she internalizes all her fears and emotional trauma, she’s still managing through those books better than her brother Bran made it through the pilot episode of Game of Thrones. (But I don’t want to give too much away about just yet, as I still want to do an article on the awesome women of Westeros.)

Basically, what I’m saying is not to not write rape scenarios, but if you’re going to do something like that, at least understand the repercussions and ramifications such and action will cause. Not just to those who love the victim, but to the victim, too. Let them deal with the pain, on the page. Research your characters thoroughly and show us how they deal with it on the page so that those who have been hurt might be able to learn how to do deal with it, too. It’s a serious issue and one that affects more people than I’d like to think possible, and therefore should be addressed with delicacy and care. It’s not something that should be used just to sell books.

This would be a hard one to forget for numerous reasons.

As a reader and fan of fiction, I like to imagine that writers have a great duty in being stewards to the collective consciousness, by bringing humanity to a fuller understanding of each other, rather than just being purveyors of all that is wrong with the world and insight further fear or misunderstanding. So, if you’re going to abuse your characters, at least know how it will affect the character going through the experience, and not just those around her.