I’m not afraid to admit that the only thing I wanted to do at Comic Con was go to Hall H on Thursday for the Expendables 2 panel. I was begging everyone I knew with any kind of work or personal relationship with the cast and crew of the film to help me sneak in. Of course, Comic Con being what it is, there is a fairly strict first come, first serve policy. Which is cool, as it puts pros, press, and fans on the same level, and that is a rarity (but not the case when it comes to off-site screening of films). Luckily, the panel took place on Thursday, meaning once Twilight was over, the hall cleared out and I was able to get in and snag a seat in the first section of chairs, with only having waited 20 minutes. Who else can say that (besides those who came in line after me)? Fans hoping to get into the Game of Thrones panel waited well over 8 hours, let alone the days and fatalities that occurred for the Twihards waiting for a glimpse at Kellan Lutz, the self-proclaimed god of wetness … and moisture. It’s insane, and there are very few things I am willing to wait for, no matter my adoration (I guess I’m not a real geek …).
That said, I was extremely disappointed about how little this was about The Expendables and more about the actors themselves. And by actors, I mean Stallone and Schwarzenegger. Dolph Lundgren answered maybe one question from the moderator and NONE from the audience–which was so appalling to everyone that when the moderator said “last question” and it was directed at Stallone, there was a mass cry of “HE-MAAAAAAAAN!” as we all left.
Five guys came to the panel, but only two will speak
Additionally, I had hoped to see more footage from the actual film and hear from the other filmmakers (where were you, Simon West?). Was I seriously the only person there that cared about the moving coming out and not the past careers of The Italian Stallion and The Governator? With two montages dedicated to the aging action stars, it seems so.
Speaking of which, let’s be honest, if you’re going to do an Arnold montage and include shots of Mr. Freeze, why would you skip out on Sly’s excellent work in A Party at Kitty and Stud’s? I mean, seriously. It’s beautiful, and the only porno I have intentionally watched (not that I have a thing against it, it’s just not really my thing).
So, I’m going to say this: unless breathing the same air as Sylvester Stallone means as much to you as it does to me, you shouldn’t feel bad about missing the panel. You missed out on nothing aside from listening to Arnold still talk about the greatness of muscles (his own and the rest of the cast’s), fail to answer even yes or no questions in a straight forward manner, and hear the duo say some of their most famous lines LIVE AND IN PERSON. For the most part, it was all fluff: pure masturbation of an era gone by.
Let me remind you that this is coming from a girl who loved the first Expendables (I say it was the best movie of summer 2010) and who literally started crying tears of joy when she read Stallone was going to be there to talk about it. There was one brief clip of an action scene, a new trailer (and nerds still apparently care about Chuck Norris based on cheers when he was featured, even though that joke has got to be at least 10 years old), and a little talk about the plot, which was so vague that it could have been the pitch for Fast Six. Not much more to it. But, hey, based on the fan questions, that isn’t what everyone came for anyway. At least those who were got to, there was a line that circled Hall H by the time the moderator was completed with his bit. It was absurd. I can only hope that someone with a like mind was up there, but unable to speak due to the time constraints. For that, I partially blame Arnold who refused to answer any questions in a straight forward way. “What’s your favorite Stallone movie?” “Oh, I like all of them. I mean Rambo is great, but let me tell you about every Stallone movie ever so Rocky here doesn’t feel bad I missed one.” And he was like that with everything. A true politician, afraid to give an actual opinion.
Eet’s not an opinion, it’s not!
I’ll admit, it was fun to hear Stallone compare his on-screen body count to Schwarzenegger’s. And their pissing contest banter was endearing (Stallone challenging the team to a spelling contest, Schwarzenegger claiming Sly was his English tutor, etc), but it’s an ensemble film and was an ensemble panel. Let the other heads up there talk.
Expendables 2 comes out August 17th.