Was the first teaser trailer for Fede Alvarez’s remake of the horror classic Evil Dead not enough for you? Well, then you’re in luck because a brand new bloody full-length trailer has been released for the film. We can see why they’re calling this “most terrifying film you will ever experience”. Seriously, it looks pretty ****ed up and that’s why we can’t wait to see it.

In the much anticipated remake of the 1981 cult-hit horror film, five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Evil Dead hits theaters April 12th.

This past Thanksgiving, to prepare for the upcoming release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, I picked up the Lord of the Rings: Extended Editions blu ray set. I really loved the Lord of the Rings films and was excited to revisit them in on their glory!

I can’t explain to you what happened, because these movies are awful. They’re terrible. I can’t outright prove that these three movies caused all of the cancer in the three years they were released, but it can’t NOT be proved, either. Here’s a bunch of reasons why Peter Jackson ruined everything and also probably caused Superstorm Sandy!

Disagree? I’m @joestarr187. Let’s yell at each other! But also, you’re wrong and I’m a writer on the internet!

Crappy slo-mo shots!

I’m sure slo-mo shots looked fantastic in PJ’s wannabe Sam Raimi zombie films, but there’s really no place for them in a billion dollar epic franchise based on the king of all fantasy books. But there are a thousand of them anyway: In Fellowship, almost every shot of Orcs doing stuff in Saruman’s forges looked like Ash would be swinging in yelling ‘GROOVY’ while chainsaw arming people to death. I’m amazed no one got raped by a tree.

Maybe if Peter Jackson hadn’t been so worried about his beard looking nice against his piles of money he would have spared us all the B movie overkill cheese, because by the time Haldir slo-mo died I almost fast-mo died.

Justifications, please!

In Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, we’re just told things, and never really told why. It’s something that is in the book, so it needs to get marked off of the checklist. If you haven’t read the books, the vague justifications seem like lazy and nonsensical writing. Of course, lazy writing is to be expected from Peter Hackson.

In Fellowship, Elrond tells us that ‘the time of the elves is over’ and that they’re ‘leaving these shores.’

Ok.

Erm… Why? And if they’re leaving, why do they keep sticking around to do things? It makes no sense.

Why not just have Elrond remind Gandalf that the elves have been defending Middle Earth for centuries and are being ordered to evacuate. It’s more or less faithful to the books, as the elves had been encouraging everyone to get on the ships and get the hell out for ages and it’s a better reason than ‘they just are.’

And why does Gimli want to go to Moira? That place is clearly terrible and it seems like he’s the only guy that doesn’t know it. It’s like that one buddy who hasn’t been to a Pizza Hut since 1995 and always wants to go to Pizza Hut and doesn’t know that they fell into shadow sometime in 2001. Is Gimli an idiot? He keeps talking about going to Moira and Gandalf just rolls his eyes with intense fear at the idea and Saruman the Narrator tells us it’s full of crazy looking demons but Gimli keeps right on rambling about his cousin Balin and dwarf buffets.

Just let Gandalf explain why he doesn’t want to go: no one’s heard from Balin’s colony and they might be dead and you need to deal with that and Gimli can ach and laddie and bad date and I’d rather watch that scene than Cahadras, the most worthless ten minutes of any film ever made (and I’m including every youtube video ever uploaded).

Who are all those men fighting for Sauron? We’re never told. They’re just wicked, which with the robes and the elephants  just ends up being uncomfortable code for ‘brown people.’

No more original songs!

There are a million songs in Lord of the Rings. If you cut all of the songs out of Lord of the Rings books, they’re shorter than The Hunger Games.

So why Fellowship ended with a song written by Enya is a mystery so unsolvable that Robert Stack should be telling you about it.

Explain why LOTR is terrible? I can’t deal with that right now! #Transformersjoke

You really have to have Enya? Fine. Just have her open to a random page of the book and plink out some Pure Moods with a rain stick and some synthesized chimes. Just use the lyrics that are already there.

Tolkien is a better writer than you!

Thanks to Eater Jackson, Lord of the Rings is not a good example of an adaption that improves the movie. His version of Aragorn and Arwen’s story is a great example.

Aragorn is ‘one of them Rangers’ and he loves Arwen and he is supposed to be the king. What’s a Ranger? Why isn’t he King? Why hasn’t he just gone ahead and married Arwen?

Apparently in the book these explanations are super complicated, so they had to be changed. So Pete, why isn’t he the king? Well, he’s full of fear and self doubt! The most muddled and lame justification in movie history! Yay!

The problem with Aragorn being full of doubt and weakness is that throughout the next 3 days worth of movie, nothing Aragorn does remotely suggest that he’s afraid, weak, or unsure of himself. He is a total bad ass that sets the Witch King on fire at Weathertop. Gandalf couldn’t even do that, and he’s Magneto. And that guy in Da Vinci Code. Remember when that was a thing that mattered?

The explanations in the book? NOT COMPLICATED. Elrond won’t let him marry Arwen until he’s defeated Sauron and claimed the throne of Gondor. He’s a classic movie dad making the guy that loves his daughter prove himself.

One does not simply walk into Diane Court.

Oh and Sauron destroyed Arnor, his homeland. This gives Aragorn real stakes. How cool would him trusting Frodo to go to Mordor alone with his love life and revenge at stake have been? A lot better than ‘I swore to protect you! Remember earlier when we said you’d have all our weapons?’

The adaptation also tried to make Arwen a cool bad ass chick. They started out well enough with her showing up in the woods to save Frodo, but her storyline quickly devolves into a bunch of terrible nonsense about her leaving Rivendell but coming back six times and then almost dying for some reason and who cares. She’s a Bella Swan that sits and cries and then gets married.

Let the book do the work for you. In the book, Aragorn rides around being awesome with a group of rangers and Elrond’s sons. Later, Elrond’s sons deliver all of Aragorn’s king gear to him in Rohan. Just make the brothers Arwen!

Toss a scene after the Council in Rivendell of Aragorn and Gandalf ordering the Rangers, led by a likeable Phil Coulson character, to spread out and take warnings about Sauron throughout Middle Earth. Arwen tries to go and Elrond won’t let her because parents just don’t understand. And then instead of a random group of elves showing up at Helm’s Deep, Phil Coulson can show up with Rangers and we’ll like him even more.

With Arwen ACTIVELY refusing to give up on Middle Earth instead of just dreamily saying she won’t, Elrond eventually realizes that his daughter is awesome and deserves some support, and has the sword reforged and gives it to her to take to Aragorn herself. This also givens Arwen and Elrond a logical, satisfying story arc instead of collection of random shots of them lounging in an Instagram filter.

Which brings us to the worst part of Jackson’s adaptation: the Paths of the Dead. AKA, Aragorn shows up with a ghost army and saves the day, making the sacrifice of everyone that died defending Gondor completely pointless because there are no stakes when an unbeatable ghost army gets involved. It’s why I hated The King’s Speech.

Arwen shows up with the sword in Rohan with some rangers. She says ‘hey, me and Phil Coulson gathered all the Ranger companies and the militias on the coast because remember you told us to do that in the first movie but there’s a Corsair fleet penning them in. Here’s your sword. Here’s the banner of the King. Let’s get these ghosts to get our army free.’ That’s more or less what happens in the book.

How cool of a moment could we have had in the movie if the black fleet had shown up at Gondor, and then flown the banner of the King? And then Aragorn and a shitload of Rangers and his hot wife and a dwarf and Orlando Bloom charge out of the boats, inspiring everyone to fight harder and get excited about The Return of the King? Because in the movie I’m not sure anyone knew he was back until they put a crown on his head.

Instead we followed up that fantastic charge of Rohan with a big ghost fart. It was like dumping a Jar Jar scene into the middle of Empire. “I love you.” “I know.” “MEESA LOVES AN APPLE! OHHHBIDAISIES, ANI!”

Less Oscar Moments, Please.

Peter Jackson has two settings: Frodo and Sam Are Crying and Frodo Is Dying While Sam Cries. He’s about as subtle as an episode of ‘The New Normal.’ Do Hobbits breathe with tears? These fuckers cry and hug for two entire movies. Sam’s ‘I can carry you!’ moment is supposed to be the beautiful, emotional heroic moment of the film, but at that point we just want these assholes to quit crying and get up the damn mountain.

Take out 94% of the shots of Frodo and Sam gacking up eye butter and you’ve got an extra hour for Rangers and Paths of the Dead and probably some Tom Bombadil because people seemed really pissed off he was cut.

There you have it. You now know that Lord of the Rings was crappy and now your life has completely changed from reading this article.

Is there hope for The Hobbit?

I’d like to stroll into the theatre without a care in the world, ready to enjoy Martin Freeman take his rightful place as one of the world’s biggest movie stars. But more than likely, I’ll be hoping the eagles save me 20 minutes into the movie.

At least people will finally get what the hell those eagles were all about.

 

This just made me even more excited for Evil Dead.

We still have to wait five more months to see if its true, but Evil Dead‘s new poster proclaims itself to be “The most terrifying film you will ever experience”. I can’t wait!

If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out the recently released trailer. Evil Dead opens April 12th, 2013.

The gruesome and bloody first red band trailer for Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead remake has arrived! The film, produced by Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, looks like it’s going to be full of enough bloody goodness to please both fans of the original series as well as new fans.

In the much anticipated remake of the 1981 cult-hit horror film, five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up long-dormant demons that possess each of those friends in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Evil Dead hits theaters April 12, 2013.

What a week! While I was working on our slew of Geekscape related projects, like ‘Doc of the Dead’, the Geekscape went crazy! New trailers for ‘Iron Man 3’, ‘Django Unchained’ and the ‘Evil Dead’ remake! Is Frank Grillo suiting up for Captain America 2? Ant Man starts filming in January! ‘Arrow’ steps up its game and ‘The Walking Dead’ REALLY steps up its game! Plus! What’s with soft hearted assassins? And ‘Silent Hill: Revelation 3D’ director Michael K. Bassett talks being a serious gamer!

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So, we may have already seen the leaked footage from New York Comic-Con…but there’s no question that we all want to see the official trailer for Evil Dead. Right? Well, you don’t have to wait long! According the movie’s official Facebook page the Red Band trailer for the film will debut tomorrow. Are you excited? I know we are.

In the much anticipated remake of the 1981 cult-hit horror film, five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up long-dormant demons that possess each of those friends in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Evil Dead hits theaters April 12, 2013.

While it may not be the best quality footage, the Evil Dead teaser trailer shown at New York Comic-Con has leaked out online. If you weren’t on board already…you’re going to be after seeing this. But, with the team of Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell and Fede Alvarez behind this one…why would we ever have any doubts? It looks like we’re in for a bloody good time next year.

In the much anticipated remake of the 1981 cult-hit horror film, five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin. When they discover a Book of the Dead, they unwittingly summon up long-dormant demons that possess each of those friends in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Evil Dead hits theaters April 12, 2013!

Today NYCC attendees were treated to an exclusive teaser of the upcoming remake of The Evil Dead (titled simply Evil Dead). Since you’re not there and are instead reading the news online, all you get is this image (sorry)!

That little girl is clearly dead, and in all likelihood very evil as well, so it all fits right in with the film!

Evil Dead will hit theatres in Spring 2013!

Looking forward to this one?

A remake of Evil Dead is coming whether some fans like it or not. Trust me, there are plenty of fans outraged by this film happening. However, I am not one of them due to the fact that both Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are on board with this so at the moment I have faith in it. The legendary Bruce Campbell who we all know as ‘Ash’ from Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead recently discussed the upcoming remake with Digital Spy. He reveals some interesting new info, such as the fact that we will see none of the original characters from the original film and that this will be an entirely fresh new take on the franchise. So, fans that were worried that this would just be the same movie shot by shot can take one sigh of relief.

On just how different this one is to the previous movies:

There’s none of the original characters. We didn’t want to compare apples with apples. It’s a contemporary movie – just like Evil Dead was contemporary in 1979, this is contemporary for young adults now. It’s basically five new kids who are going to have a really bad night with a brand new director – Fede Alvarez, who was handpicked by Sam Raimi. I’ve seen it already; I think it’s definitely fabulous.

Does he think fans will embrace this remake:

We’re really excited and really behind it, [but] it’s going to take a bit to get the Evil Dead fans behind it. We know we’ve pissed a lot of them off. We appreciate that and we appreciate their anger and their zeal, but the only thing we want to impress upon them is that we didn’t screw it up. This is going to be just as memorable as [the original] Evil Dead without being the same movie.

You don’t want to remake something shot-for-shot. I can’t believe they remade Psycho – what the hell kind of a waste of celluloid is that? It’s a creative medium.

The nice thing is the film looks beautiful. The effects are 10 times better than we ever had access to and the actors are all better than we were in 1979. Though granted Sam Raimi is a mad genius, so we got a crazy result like Evil Dead out of this amateur enthusiasm sort of thing.

On the subject of whether or not he will make a cameo and if he would ever be willing to play Ash again in the future:

I’m not at liberty to discuss that. But the thing is we want it to be a standalone movie. You’re going to have some references [to the original] in there and there’s going to be things the fans will enjoy as far as familiar aspects, but it’s a whole new ball game.

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know if I could – the last one was 1991. I was a virile young man; I’m 54 years old now so I’m not sure 54-year-old guys need to be doing that s**t anymore. But if Sam wants to lace the boots back on and do something that makes sense, that’s fine. We may need to do the movie one day, if our careers fly off the tracks and we crash and burn, we might look at each other and go ‘Let’s make an Evil Dead movie’!

His thoughts on the current trend of remakes and reboots:

Well I’ll be honest with you… I’m not a fan of them. So I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. Here I am remaking a movie at one end… but here’s my spirited defense – it’s our movie. Myself and Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert, we own that movie, it’s our movie. We’re not looking into some file drawer of some property that’s owned by a studio that’s 30 years old, that we can get for cheap and [saying] ‘Let’s remake that’.

Our only obligation to the viewer is that we don’t give them a piece of s**t. It’s going to wind up being a very handmade movie, Fede Alvarez is so far from being a hack – we didn’t get some 18-year-old director who just wants to make his movie look cool. We got a guy who is an adult.

I think people will be pleasantly surprised that it’s not something that was cranked out, where no-one gives a crap. We were involved in casting, we were involved in everything. We’re all over that movie like a cheap suit, so if it blows it’s our responsibility.

Evil Dead hits theaters April 12th, 2013.

There’s been some banners spotted for the upcoming remake of ‘Evil Dead’ featuring a variation of the hand grasping logo from the classic.

Five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin where they discover a Book Of The Dead and unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

The movie is set to wrap production this month. ‘Evil Dead’ is hitting theaters April 12th,  2013.

I can’t really remember the first time I saw “Evil Dead 2.”

I think it was the summer of 1996, right after I had graduated high school. At that time, I had only just started to become a film nut in earnest, having held down a job at a movie theater for a few months. I was in anew state of mind by then. I didn’t just have a few films I loved, but was slowly growing into the cinema snob that I am today, memorizing arcane facts, and becoming familiar with the careers of little-known character actors. I had seen Sam Raimi’s “Army of Darkness” a few years before, and did indeed fall in love with it. But by 1996, it was more than just a wacky movie. It was an important film. And so, in my youthful enthusiasm, I likely sought out “Evil Dead 2.” Did I get it from 20/20 Video on Wilshire in Santa Monica, CA? The one that’s now a hairdresser? That would be the most likely place.

I do know that, by the time I got to college, I knew it. I had bought it on video, and was using any excuse I could to watch it. Whenever I met someone new, I would typically plop them down in front of “Evil Dead 2” as a bonding exercise. I did similar ploys with “Eraserhead,” and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” It was a cult litmus. If they could understand “Evil Dead 2,” they could understand me.

Keep in mind, this was way, way back in the late 1990s, when geek culture had not yet exploded in earnest. The kids who watched “Evil Dead 2” on a regular basis were not the cool kids yet. They were the outsiders. Like for realsies. I ran in those circles. I had friend who played “Magic: The Gathering,” and my roommate in my second year was a member of the Anime club. My local video store, Backstage Video (which, I recently learned, is still proudly in business) offered a special every weekday: five movies, five days, five dollars. I was swimming in my new-found geekiness, hanging out with fellow nerds and watching as many movies as I could.

Like most people, though, I found “Evil Dead 2” to be a head above the other horror flicks I had seen. This was more than a mere horror movie. This was part of a growing canon. “Evil Dead 2” belonged in the same circles of thought as films like “The Shining” and “Clerks.” There were movies, and there were Great Movies. “Evil Dead 2” was a Great Movie. Have you ever asked an 18-24-year-old to list their ten favorite movies? You’ll usually find a mixture of legitimately classic films they had just discovered, a few more recent greats that they had seen recently, and a handful of goofy genre films that, usually for reasons of nostalgia, are near the top of their list for canon’s sake. As a result, you’ll find kids who list “Casablanca” in their top-10, but it will still fall behind “Evil Dead 2.”

As I aged, and passed kicking and screaming into my 30s (and, trust me, it’s not bad here), I went through several cycles of film fandom. I watched obtuse indie films and experimental movies ((I still own my copy of “Begotten.”). I went through that early 20s phase of extreme shit, wherein I saw things like “Mondo Cane,” “El Topo,” and “Pink Flamingos.” I went through a camp phase, and watched Douglas Sirk for the first time. I caught up on my classic horror, and am now the proud owner of several “Wolf Man” pictures. It wasn’t until my 30s that I managed to catch up on some of the greater ’80s classics, and I finally saw “Die Hard” and “Lethal Weapon.” Yeah, it took me that long. And, since I was also going to film school, I went through a long and intense period of European Art Films, wherein I fell in love with Jean-Pierre Melville, Ingmar Bergman, Werner Herzog, and all the rest of that crowd. I even caught up on the notoriously difficult great filmmakers like Yasujiro Ozu, Bela Tarr, and Robert Bresson.

And through it all, I have never lost my appreciate for “Evil Dead 2.” I sat down recently to re-watch it for the purposes of this essay. Even though I had seen the film over a dozen times at this point, it was still pleasant and funny and delightfully gory.

And it endures. “Evil Dead 2” is still played at midnight screenings all over the country. I haven’t visited too many college campuses recently, but I get the sense that a DVD of “Evil Dead 2” is now standard suburban issue for teenagers. The same way Classic Queen was.

Why does “Evil Dead 2” persist in the way it does? Why is it still part of the singular cult canon? Why do teenage boys the world over still hold it up as something sacred?

It can’t be its mythology. The film, in terms of story and myth, is surprisingly trim. Sam Raimi, the film’s director, was clearly not trying to expand on “The Evil Dead” which he had made six year before. He was clearly more interested in doing the same film correctly. “The Evil Dead” was an attempt at a legitimate horror film, which, to our eyes, looks shabby and campy. “Evil Dead 2” was his attempt to up the stakes, and make the silly stuff even sillier. He was not interested in expanding a myth, explaining the monsters, or giving poor Ash a backstory. No. None of that. In this modern age, we seem to have reached a frustrating place where all stories must interconnect. All TV shows are long-form dramas now rather than episodic snippets. Even comic book movies bleed into one another, thanks to the upcoming mashup of “The Avengers.” “Evil Dead 2,” by contrast, is without connective material. It is boldly and happily content to stay inside itself and merrily not make any larger sense.

What do the demons want? They’ve been asleep for millennia, and now they’re eager to cause mischief. They can haunt a building and make dead things come back to life. They can possess you if they want. They can float abstractly through the woods, but also seem to live inside evil trees. This is an evil that is, at once, smoke, zombies, ghosts, zombies, and creatures. No rules. No way to kill it. Just a buncha random shit.

It can’t be its horror. I realized something kind of revelatory this last time I watched it: “Evil Dead 2” is not scary. I never thought it was. I always found myself giggling at the film. Sure, it has several moments of atmospheric creepiness, and the creature effects are surprisingly advanced, given the film’s time and budget. But I never found myself curled up in a ball, shrinking away from the fearfulness on display. And I was a fearful kid. Even though I loved horror movies today, there was a time when they would give me nightmares on a regular basis. I remember when the video box for “Evil Dead 2” hit the shelves at my local video store, and the sight of Bruce Campbell being strangled by a disembodied hand was enough to scare me. I dunno. Maybe I was too old by the time I saw it, but nothing in “Evil Dead 2” was scary.

It’s certainly not the dialogue. Sure, we like to quote the film in our geek conversations with one another, but this is hardly David Mamet. Looking over the Internet Movie Database reveals these gems: “Old double-barrel here will blow your guts to Kingdom Come!” “You did it kid…” “Here’s your new home!,” and, my personal favorite “Maybe something trying to make its way into our world.” The dialogue is a weird mutation of badass action clichés and functional expository horror wastrels. There’s no inner music to the dialogue. It’s just as blunt as the wacky visuals.

I don’t think it’s even the film’s quality that really drives it. “Evil Dead 2” may be a good deal better and far more sophisticated than its zero-budget forebear, but it’s still kind of shabby. There was only one set (built in a high school in Detroit), and only one exterior, out in the woods of North Carolina. The story is clunky and moves on an odd way. Indeed, it’s only 6 minutes before the first decapitation. Less than ten minutes later, Ash is chainsawing the severed head in half. Sam Raimi has since gone on to make some really great movies. He did four superhero movies (although “Darkman” and Spider-Man 2” are really the only good ones), and even made a legitimate tragedy with “A Simple Plan.” In comparison, “Evil Dead 2” feels low-fi and, through certain section, amateurish. To be fair, it was only Raimi’s third film.

But then, it’s that shabbiness that makes it stand apart. With low budget films, its the earnestness that usually makes them notable. Raimi, for all the goofy camerawork, oddball padding, and bizarro horror/comedy scenes of Bruce Campbell fighting off monsters and ghosts, was clearly making something he believed in. He clearly thought all of this was amusing as Hell, and filmed what he wanted.

And while it may look cheap, it looks great.

 

And about that dialogue. As teenage boys, we tend to immerse ourselves in shallow action films, and are drawn to delightfully callow badassery. And no hero is more delightfully callow than Ash. As played by Bruce Campbell, Ash is a handsome and put-upon everyman whose workaday attitude and practical thinking lead him to deal with evil ghosts in the most pragmatic fashion. For instance, when he sees a monster lunging toward him, he doesn’t think to prepare a weapon for decapitation, but merely punches it in the face. Indeed, there is a lot of punching in this film. People punch monsters and monsters punch people. That’s kind o brilliant. The spawn of ancient evil forces lurches up from under the ground, and all they can think to do it smack you around a little bit.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn” may have all the trappings of a horror film; the ancient curses, the evil book, the monsters, the death, the buckets of blood; but it’s not a horror film “Evil Dead 2” is a comedy. While there had been horror comedies leading up to 1987, I don’t think any had been as effective as this. What Sam Raimi does is expertly use the iconography of horror in the language of comedy. Horror films are intended to invoke fear in the viewer. I don’t think this was ever Raimi’s M.O. He wanted to make you laugh. That the laughs came from demon possession, slayings, and chainsaws is incidental. “Evil Dead 2” is a horror classic, but it really ought to be in the comedy section of the video store.

So when poor Jake (Dan Hicks) is dragged into the fruit cellar by the demon-possessed Henrietta (Ted Raimi in ghoulish makeup), and buckets of Kool-Aid looking blood flood out through the trap door, we cackle and cackle. Not because we’re immature and cruel-minded teenage boys (although that may have a lot to do with it), but because the film is so deft at creating the comedy of the situation. When Ash has to knock off his girlfriend’s head with a shovel, and later dismember her with a chainsaw, it’s actually a funny moment. When Ash has to stab himself in the hand – in order to fight the evil that has taken possession of it – it makes a kind of sense.

Oh yes. Chainsaws. Thanks to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” chainsaws are now a regular slaying tool in a serial killer’s arsenal. Thanks to “Evil Dead 2,” chainsaws are now weapons. Indeed, thanks to “Evil Dead 2,” most young men can’t look at chainsaws going through wood any longer. It looks wrong. Chainsaws are not for wood. Chainsaws are for zombie limbs. It is now a truth as inevitable as the phases of the moon.

The thing that really makes “Evil Dead 2” into a triumph, though is, I think, its overall tone. Since it’s making comedy out of horror, there’s a naughty streak of anarchic irreverence to the affair. This is not a dark and broody film about real death. This is a film that makes death into a joke. And a really funny joke at that. When we’re teenagers, we find ourselves fighting to survive through a hormonal miasma of new ideas, new feelings, and new ways to be humiliated. As geeks, we find ourselves suddenly ostracized for the interests that, a few years previous, would not be shunned by our peers. We have to content with new concepts and rules that we didn’t bother to contemplate as children. Stuff like death, sexuality, politics, beliefs. We have a new-found resentment of authority, once we find that parents, teachers and cops would take away the vices we have just discovered. Our best defense (and it’s not a very sophisticated one) is to merely dismiss anything that has even the slightest whiff of authoritarian control and irrelevant or stupid. Cops are dumb. Religion is dumb. Teachers are dumb. Parents are dumb. I don’t like anything. I’m going to go read my “Fangoria” magazines, and set my old toys on fire.

Into this miasma jumps “Evil Dead 2,” a film that makes light of death, and turns a bland action badass into a hugely funny demon fighter. A film that takes all the darkness and seriousness of life, and turns it on ear. Look kids, the film seems to be saying to each of us, here’s something that has all the mayhem you crave, but is still fun. There is no darkness. There is only joy and comedy. This is not about real suffering. This makes light of suffering. This makes horror into laughter. Sometimes, after a hard day of high school, you can pop I this film, and remind yourself that you can laugh.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn” gave us hope. It let us see that we could still have a sense of humor. As the ages pass, teenage boys watch the film, and still jibe with its gloriously clunky, gory, edgy, dark laughter. Not cruel. Not evil. But certainly irreverent. And its that irreverence we crave. Why do you think teenagers like “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” so much?

Will “Evil Dead 2” survive? I hope so. As time passes, and new films enter the cult canon, “Evil Dead 2” might one day find itself teetering away from its relevance as a cult icon. It may pass into that place where aging gorehouds remain the only class of people who still discuss it. I suspect, though, that there is something eternal about the film. Something grand. Something joyously universal about this silly, bloody film wherein a tree monster gets chainsawed in the eyeball. It may seem like a niche “cult” film, but there is a part in all of us that can remember a time when this sort of film would have been the most important thing in the world to us.

For many it was.

Today marks the films’ 25th anniversary; it was released on March 13th 1987. Happy anniversary, you li’l deadites. Please continue your important work.

Happy anniversary, you.