Obviously, spoilers for Star Wars: The Force Awakens are below.

A few weeks ago I was scouring Target looking for any available Captain Phasma figures in my area. I like collecting 6″ figures and wanted to add what I thought would be the best thing about The Force Awakens to my shelf. Gwendoline Christie is a delight both on screen and off (based on my impressions, I do not know her personally), so I was excited that she would be, in all things, Star Wars.

When The Force Awakens started and Captain Phasma walked on screen I smiled ear-to-ear. That smile quickly faded. For all its high marks, The Force Awakens fumbled Captain Phasma so badly it’s almost embarrassing.

Make no mistake: Star Wars: The Force Awakens is as wonderful as you’d hoped. A bit slavish to the original trilogy perhaps, but I’m thankful to finally see a good, possibly great Star Wars movie (I’ll need multiple viewings) in my lifetime. It will really make you wonder what kind of wasted effort the whole prequel trilogy was, if that wasn’t already obvious. I hope Force Awakens shuts up the grating prequel apologists.

But Force Awakens isn’t without its own missteps, and by far the most glaring is Captain Phasma. There was hope she’d succeed the legacy of Boba Fett, the badass gunslinger antagonist, the “Dragon” who has no other motivation than to get the job done. But she does end up succeeding Boba Fett’s legacy in the worst ways, that is being a total chump.

When Force Awakens begins she’s as ruthless and robotic as anyone wanted, functioning as a scary authoritarian against Finn (then still named FN-2187). Instructing him to see his rifle’s data whether or not he fired on the villagers is an Orwellian nightmare. We’re off to a good start!

But the rug is quickly pulled underneath. The next time we see Phasma beyond standing there for set dressing, it’s when Finn, Han, and Chewie have infiltrated the Starkiller base and hold Phasma hostage. Finn has some bottled-up tension towards her — it’s played for a laugh, and to my delight colors Finn’s character more — but it never had proper set-up. From what we saw, it was only that one time right after the opening village massacre. It makes me wonder what J.J. Abrams cut out that would have maybe really allowed Phasma to be the big scary threat she deserves.

But in the final version of Force Awakens, she isn’t. With a rifle to her head, she begrudgingly lowers the shields to allow the Resistance to enter the planet’s atmosphere. The camera turns their attention away from her for a few seconds, so when she defiantly stands up I thought she had managed to alert the First Order — she’s at a goddamn computer! — but she doesn’t. The shield lowers like Han and Finn want and she basically has a line like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget: Next time, Finn, next time! She goes out like a lame-o, with Han slyly suggesting they chuck her out a “trash compactor.” Cue audience laughing, my eyes rolling.

It happens off screen. We never see Phasma again for the rest of the movie.

Despite its imagination, Star Wars has long had a remarkably narrow representation of gender and ethnic diversities. Yes, there are aliens, but there are real people in our real world who deserve to be inspired by the images on screen. I never felt like Luke Skywalker no matter how many times I watched Star Wars. Even if he was written like cardboard, I was still attached to Adam the Black Ranger from Power Rangers, because he looked like me. I don’t look like Luke.

When it comes to women, Star Wars has been embarrassingly devoid, almost to the point where I wonder how anyone in that universe is born. Name five prominent women — name them, off your head, no Wikipedia — from the other six movies. You can’t, right? And that’s what makes Force Awakens almost like fresh air. I can’t sing the praises of Daisy Ridley’s Rey nearly enough. Beyond the stellar performance of Ridley (who is without a doubt the breakout star of Force Awakens), Rey is extremely capable and complex. This isn’t “Girl power!” feminism, though I’ll be happy when little girls watching Star Wars say she’s their hero. Rey is legit character, a modern textbook example aspiring screenwriters should study.

And there’s more than just her! Carrie Fischer is back as Leia, who has become a grizzled general. There’s Maz Kanata as a comforting guide, and played by Lupita Nyong’o who is stunning in her role despite being a cartoon. There’s another really cool side character, an X-Wing pilot played by Christina Chong. We don’t really get to know her and most of the heroic action is taken up by Oscar Isaac’s Poe, but her close-ups in the pilot seats give enough of a look that she might be someone’s favorite.

And there should have been Captain Phasma, but she’s so lame. I can actually think of a great scene that would have been perfect for her: Right around the second act before Leia and C-3PO arrive, the First Order attacks and Finn holds Luke’s lightsaber. He uses it for the first time against a random Stormtrooper with a really, really fucking awesome weapon that looks like a giant tonfa. Finn and this Stormtrooper go at it in one of the first fist-pumping moments in the entire movie. While I wouldn’t want Phasma to have lost the fight like the Stormtrooper did, it would have been damn near perfect for hers and Finn’s arc. Yeah, it came before the Starkiller base stuff, but still. That scene begs for Phasma to show off what she could do.

The silver lining (no pun intended — get it, she’s in chrome armor?) is that Phasma is still alive. If they actually chucked her into a garbage chute (ugh), it’s barely crippling so she’ll get out, unlike Fett and the sand butthole. I hope she really comes to her own in Star Wars VIII, but that movie is some 500+ days away. And I’m tired of waiting for Star Wars to give me the good stuff.

On the upside: I get to save like $30 on eBay buying a Captain Phasma figure.

Side note: Boba Fett was an interesting demonstration of using telling, not showing that was effective. His introduction had Darth Vader, the baddest motherfucker in the galaxy, finger lecture Fett with “No disintegrations.” One line establishes how much of a loose cannon Fett was, and that one line filled the imagination for decades. Phasma does not have that moment one bit, which further makes her appearance in The Force Awakens a bummer.

ALL ABOARD!!! The Hype Train to Star Wars: The Force Awakens is pulling out the station. With four months left for the premier Entertainment Weekly is dropping behind the scene photos and some new action shots from the film. I am so hyped I can barely contain myself!!!

Star Wars - Force Awakens - 1
This weeks cover of Entertainment Weekly features Kylo Ren.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 12
Director J.J. Abrams and actress Daisy Ridley in a behind-the-scenes shot.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 11
Director J.J. Abrams on the set of The First Order’s Starkiller Base with his co-writer Lawrence Kasdan.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 10
Oscar Isaac in his Rebel Pilot outfit with a black X-wing Fighter.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 9
Kylo Ren (played by Adam Driver) in a action pose with his modified lightsaber.

 

Star Wars - Force Awakens - 8
Rey (Daisy Ridley) rescuing the fan favorite BB8 from a scavenger’s net. Also a good indicator of the practical effects in the movie with the big creature and its rider. LOVE IT!!!
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 7
John Boyega’s Finn runs from the wreckage of a TIE fighter, probably the aftermath from the scene in the trailer where he wakes up in the desert looking all confused.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 6
Finn and Rev runaway from Stormtroppers of The First Order on the desert world Jakku.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 5
Kylo Ren and a team of First Order stormtroopers laying waste to a village on Jakku.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 4
Domhnall Gleeson as General Hux, a cruel leader of The First Order.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 3
Captain Phasma (played by Gwendoline Christie) looking super bad ass.
Star Wars - Force Awakens - 2
R2-D2 and C-3PO are back and Threepio is sporting a red arm this time.

Are these pictures getting you as excited as I am?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiers December 18, 2015.

Check out the newest TV spot for The Force Awakens

There is an influx of new Star Wars VII information today! J.J. Abrams loves playing his usual mystery box secrets and giggling like a school girl while we itch to know more. We can wildly speculate every little inch of this film, but when we get something it feels like we can take off for the rest of the day. First, some new costumes.

While for legal reasons we cannot reproduce the images below, you can click on over to UPROXX to see them yourself. There’s also a few leaked images of what the new Stormtroopers look like, and they look kinda Kubrick. Han is dressed like an older, grizzled Malcolm Reynolds of sorts, which just that space cowboy trope full circle, don’t it? His other costume, made for colder temperatures, is a throwback to his duds from Empire Strikes Back. The Stormtroopers, meanwhile, evoke a sort of 2001: A Space Odyssey vibe. Their helmets remind me of the hotel ship from the film after the gigantic time jump. Interesting that one of the most influential pieces of sci-fi and pop culture is evoking the other most influential piece of sci-fi and pop culture ever. A lot of these visual references could just be total coincidence, after all how much can you really invent “space soldier” and “space cowboy”?

Now, the bad guys. Abrams posted the note below, thanking everyone for the cool $5 million donated for A Force For Change. Way to go, good people! Thing is, check out that hand holding the note. The cyborg one. Who the hell is that? Did they give a gritty edge to C-3PO?

jj-abrams-droid-hand__span

According to Latino Review, the hand may belong to the Inquisitors, villains previously of the extended universe. This might hurt for you to hear, but anything relating to the extended universe and I start getting bored, so I’ll let the good source explain to you the Inquisitors.

The Inquisitors are the villains of Star Wars: Episode VII and the name of the main villain in Star Wars: Rebels. They seem to be loosly based on the now-deleted Expanded Universe Inquistors (Click here for that background) mixed with the hardended Sith look of Rebels’ villain. The Inquisitors are defenders of the Sith Order and they’ve been around for a long time. Just how long is what turns Episode VII’s story on it’s head.

Cool, I guess.

Hey. What’s this?

GET OUT NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT THE BIG SPOILER.

Ok?

Onward.

When our hero(es) find Luke and the Inquisitors are revealed, Luke’s explanation on the history of this order is going to trigger a flashback to explain that the Inquisitors have been tied into the Sith all along.

Remember when we broke Billie Lourd’s casting (Lourd is the biological daughter of Carrie Fisher)? That’s not so she can play a Solo kid, it’s so she can play a much younger Princess Leia than we’ve ever seen before in this flashback…

But, a young Princess Leia is not all this flashback reveals…

The Inquisitors will be seen serving Darth Vader in flashback.

Yes, Darth Vader will be on screen, briefly, in Star Wars: Episode VIIWe’re not done with the dark prince of the Sith quite yet.

UH. COOL.

Star Wars: Episode VII will be released December 18, 2015.

Briefly: The already expansive cast of J.J. Abrams Star Wars: Episode VII has just added two more.

Following the addition of 12 Years A Slave star Lupita Nyong’o and Game of Thrones star Gwendoline Christie a few weeks back, Disney has announced that newcomers Crystal Clarke and Pip Andersen have joined the project in unspecified roles.

Here’s the announcement:

At the end of last year Lucasfilm and Disney invited all young aspiring actors to attend an open casting call for roles in J.J Abrams’ Star Wars: Episode VII. The casting calls spanned 11 cities across the US and UK and over 37,000 hopefuls attended, with a further 30,000 submitting applications online.

 

Having hunted high and low for young and undiscovered talent, the filmmakers are delighted to announce that two actors from the open call call have been cast.

 

Crystal Clarke is an American actress studying in Glasgow, UK, who has both stage and screen acting experience and is soon to be seen in her first feature,The Moon and the Sun (to be released in 2015). British actor Pip Andersen is a skilled practitioner of parkour, a discipline that involves propelling oneself through any given environment with incredible grace and agility. Pip recently demonstrated this remarkable skill in a Spider-Man ad for Sony.

 

“The Star Wars universe has always been about discovering and nurturing young talent and in casting Episode VII we wanted to remain absolutely faithful to this tradition. We are delighted that so many travelled to see us at the open casting calls and that we have been able to make Crystal and Pip a part of the film,” said producer and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy.

 

Meanwhile, principal photography continues at Pinewood Studios in London after wrapping on location in Abu Dhabi in May.

 

In August, the team will take a brief two-week hiatus while adjustments to the current production schedule are made as actor Harrison Ford recovers from a leg injury. Harrison is doing well and is looking forward to returning to the set soon. Shooting remains on track to wrap in the fall with the film scheduled for release on December 18, 2015.

Are you looking forward to the film? What do you think of the new additions? Sound out below!

Pip

Photo via StarWars.com

Briefly: This is some very cool news.

Deadline has learned that Looper, Brick (if you haven’t seen this, definitely, definitely look into it), and Breaking Bad‘s Ozymandias director Rian Johnson has been tapped to write and direct both Star Wars: Episode VIII and Star Wars: Episode IX.

So now we have Abrams on Episode VIIGodzilla director Gareth Edwards on one of the standalone films, Chronicles Josh Trank on another, and Johnson on Episode VIII and IX. That’s some pretty stellar talent. Are you excited yet?

Johnson hasn’t officially commented on the news, but did tweet out the following hilarious and fitting video:

http://youtu.be/o9iP2WEvq2s

Were you a Looper fan? Are you looking forward to the new trilogy? Sound out below!

Briefly: Star Wars: Episode VII set photos have been leaking all over the place (we haven’t been posting them out of respect to the production). Disney and most everyone involved in the production are likely irate at this fact, and today director J.J. Abrams tweeted out a fantastic, tongue-in-cheek response to the culprit(s):

AbramsStarWars

Fans will notice that the note is sitting on top of the Holochess board from the Millennium Falcon, which we saw being built in those photos a couple days back.

Star Wars: Episode VII stars John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Max von Sydow, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker, Lupita Nyong’o, and Gwendoline Christie, and will hit theatres on December 18th, 2015.

Briefly: The already expansive cast of J.J. Abrams Star Wars: Episode VII has just added two more.

The cast was lacking in female stars, but Disney has announced that Academy Award winner and 12 Years A Slave star Lupita Nyong’o and Game of Thrones star Gwendoline Christie have joined the project in unspecified roles.

“I could not be more excited about Lupita and Gwendoline joining the cast of Episode VII,” says Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy. “It’s thrilling to see this extraordinarily talented ensemble taking shape.”

Star Wars: Episode VII will hit theatres on December 18th, 2015. What do you think of the latest additions?

Photo via StarWars.com
Photo via StarWars.com