Everyone’s been talking about this supposed *NSYNC reunion for the VMAs, and I’m all over here like, “When is 2Ge+her getting back together?”
From the Jackson 5 to New Edition, The Monkees to New Kids on the Block, O-Town to The Wanted, boy bands have been a staple of the pop music scene cyclically every decade. Then their testicles drop, the girls want guys with beards and they fade away, only to emerge again on some tri-billed reunion tour or combination act (NKOTBSB?) to make all the soccer moms scream like daggers are being inserted into the fleshy part of the feet, this time around fueled not by hormones, but large, overpriced foo-foo drinks at Corporate Sponsorship Arena downtown.
Keeping this in mind (and I’m not shitting on boy bands here, because many times they do make decent pop records that fulfill their purpose of lowest-common denominator entertainment for people who want a vapidly message-free dance-floor-filled evening), I’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten Boy Band Parodies. Does anyone else remember these gems?
10. The Avengers “Avenge You”
This is actually pretty terrible, but Black Widow kinda makes up for it. Also, this is Geekscape, so, as much as I appreciate the Avengers movies (minus the Shane Black directed self-idea-ripping Lethal Weapon remake entitled “Iron Man 3”) this should be a little more up the alley of some of the non-musically inclined readers.
9. Dudez-A-Plenti
Back in the millennial heyday of boy bands, Conan O’Brien created and managed his own boy band called Dudez-A-Plenti. This is possibly one of his greatest bits on television.
8. The Key of Awesome! “One Song”
You know you’ve caught yourself singing a boy band song at some point (whether it’s just too infectious or you’ve heard it so many times it becomes a muscular reflex to mouth the words) and The Key of Awesome! did a great parody of the new generation’s boy band, One Direction (who had their own 3D movie and complete brick and mortar stores now that sell nothing but 1D merchandise and Future Mrs. Whoever-the*#&^ t-shirts for the hormonal tweens).
7. 7 Degrees Celsius “AOL”
Maybe I just yearn for the simpler days of dial-up modems, chat rooms romances and my mom yelling, “Sign off the computer, A.J. I need to call your Aunt Mary in Massachusetts!” But this old SNL sketch with Jimmy Fallon, Chris Parnell, etc. cracks me up. Look at those A: drive necklace pendants – priceless. This should be the theme song to “Catfish.”
6. “Weird Al” Yankovic “The White Stuff”
Sure, he did a Backstreet Boys parody of “I Want It That Way,” but this NKOTB send-up is much more ridiculous, and therefore more worthy of praise. It also happens to be my favorite cookie and so I tend to sing this not only when dunking OREOs in milk, but when the actual song comes on as well.
Tie: 5. 2Ge+her “U+Me=Us (Calculus)”
MTV decided to parody the boy bands they were so dependent upon in their TRL years with a full-length feature called “2Ge+her.” which actually had some decent songs and scenes. Personally, I liked their rivals, Whoa!, better, but we’ll get to them in a second. There were rumors of a 2Ge+her reunion in early 2012, but I don’t think anything came of it. It was probably just a jokey response to the NKOTBSB tour that was happening at the time.
Tie: 5. Whoa! “Rub One Out”
This is self-explanatory.
4. South Park “Fingerbang”
Cartman usually wants to eliminate an entire race of gingers or get Family Guy off the air, so sometimes the more simpler episodes can be even funnier. Since Matt Stone and Trey Parker are clearly the greatest satirists of this generation, Fingerbang had to be included. The entire episode is classic, but just the idea of the kids singing these lyrics in a mall is beyond the pale.
3. blink-182 “All the Small Things”
Surely, the song is not a parody, but the video takes great shots at everyone who was dominating MTV after school afternoons under the direction of a Mr. Carson Daly. While blink’s live show has basically just a bunch of dick, fart and “I fucked your mom” jokes climaxing with an incredible drum solo circa pop-punk’s Tommy Lee – Travis Barker, this song still gets everyone in a crowded room to scream, “work sucks, I know!”
2. DuJour “Backdoor Lover”
Created as a commentary on the possibility of the corporately-conscious and unknowingly-about-to-implode music industry of the late ‘90s, early ‘00s hiding subliminal messages in pop music to make young adults with allowances and no responsibility buy products they didn’t need to keep the economy afloat (how genius is that?) for the “Josie and the Pussycats” movie, DuJour gets the number two spot not necessarily on the strength of their song or parody, but more for the brilliance of the script Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan put together for the film they appear in. The only reason I saw this movie was the fact that they were the creative team behind “Can’t Hardly Wait,” so if you’re like me, also be sure to check out Saint Mort’s chat with writer/director Harry Elfont here on Geekscape.
1. LFO “Summer Girls”
They can’t rap, sing, dance or do anything a boy band should do… they just looked like the Abercrombie & Fitch models they were supposedly chasing after. It was years before I realized these guy were serious. It’s so bad, it’s amazingly great. So, this is the best parody by default… Or by accident. Or maybe because I feel bad about Rich Cronin passing away from leukemia. Either way, that’s your list. (Editors Note: Check out Rich Cronin’s incredible 50 minute interview on Howard Stern. He was also in a hilarious comedy hip-hop group Loose Cannons most known because of The Kidd Chris Show)
If you can think of any others, leave the links in comment section.
A.J. Santini has been an audiophile since pre-natal care. Having 15+ years DJ experience, a brief stint in terrestrial radio and an extensively diverse collection of books, vinyl, cassettes, VHSs CDs, DVDs and MP3s (plus one Led Zeppelin 8-track) qualifies him to rant nonsensically and wax poetically about popular culture. He also hosts QUIZZO trivia nights to feel superior to the masses of the population. Check out some of his DJ mixes.