Tag: Humor

Seven Of Wine – Episode 019: ‘Sacred Ground’ / “Captain to Bridge: Namaste”

by Seven of Wine
It’s the episode that has Captain Janeway casting away science! Oh no! But also the episode that has Captain Janeway casting aside her clothes!
Awwyeaaaah.
In “Sacred Ground”, Kes walks into a big shiny hole while on an away mission and gets zapped into a coma. Luckily, Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang drink a big shiny bottle and get buzzed into drunks… all while doing a deep dive into a rare STAR TREK: VOYAGER episode that pits science against spirituality.
And if you have thoughts, feel free to send them into the big shiny hole that we call our inbox: engage@sevenofwine.com

 

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

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Seven Of Wine – Episode 018: ‘Bride of Chaotica!’ / “He Used to Call Her on Her Cell Phone”

by Seven of Wine

When mysterious photonic beings get caught up in a fictitious war that’s being waged in Tom Paris’s 1930s sci-fi holonovel, it’s all hands on holodeck! This fan favorite (and arguably most meme-able) episode of Star Trek: Voyager, “Bride of Chaotica!” sees our dear Captain Janeway on a mission to boldly act where no one has acted before…

…in Chaotica’s mountaintop base of operations, as the deliciously fiendish queen of the Spider People!

But first, coffee.

Can “Arachnia” seduce and cleverly dominate this intergalactic evil? Will Tom ever get over the embarrassment of everyone finding out how he spends his free time? Will Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang be able to polish off the rosé they’ve selected for the occasion? Find out on this week’s episode of Seven of Wine!

And as always, it would thrill us to hear from you. Quick! activate your Imagizer and beam us an electronic gram: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

Like our Facebook page for additional vids that we’ll make with your suggestions as inspiration!

Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 017: ‘Body and Soul’ / “Blow Up My Fun Cave”

by Seven of Wine

Cheesecake and arousal are synonymous, as the Doctor discovers when he’s inside Seven of Nine’s body. NO, NOT LIKE THAT. Not everything is about sex, perverts! Anyway… also if Tuvok doesn’t have sex in this episode, he’ll literally die so Tom Paris makes him a holographic sex doll.

It’s the episode our listeners have been requesting, and we’ve picked up your distress signal. Beaming from our transporter room to yours is “Body and Soul,” in which the Doctor is forced to upload himself into Seven’s cybernetic matrix, and experiences a whole world of sensations for the very first time. Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang raise their glasses of synthehol to that!

Meanwhile, we’re really hoping you want to be inside our inbox: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

Like our Facebook page for additional vids that we’ll make with your suggestions as inspiration!

Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 016: ‘Tuvix’ / “You Just Made Me Imagine a Tuvix Dick”

by Seven of Wine
It’s the episode of Star Trek: Voyager that’s so disturbing, so unappetizing, so unsettling… that you’ll feel the whack factor down at the molecular level. When our resident Vulcan and our friendly neighborhood Talaxian get fused into a new hybrid being, heebies get fused with jeebies as… it… starts to make serious moves on Kes.

 

Will Captain Janeway welcome this new being to the crew, or do the right thing and kill it with fire? Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang discuss the effects of this abomination aboard the ship while drinking an abomination of a wine. Seriously, listen in as everyone suffers.

 

Two to beam out! And maybe one email from you to beam in?: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 015: ‘Before and After’ / “Girl, We Made So Many Back to the Future References”

by Seven of Wine
Imagine an alternate reality where Tom Paris and B’elanna are no longer together because B’elanna is dead, and Chakotay is captain of the U.S.S. Voyager because Janeway is dead. Now imagine a current reality where Jennifer Zhang has to watch this episode and wishes she were dead. Good news! You don’t have to imagine it, because you can listen to it… right now.
On this episode, Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer review the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Before and After”, where Kes slingshots through time and faces erasure from existence.
Earth angels, earth angels, drop us a line: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

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Seven Of Wine – Episode 014: ‘Heroes and Demons’ / “Facesuck to Generate Heat”

by Seven of Wine
Computer! Play “Careless Whisper”… because it’s about to get sexy by the fireside up in here. Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang recap and review the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Heroes and Demons”, where the Doc takes on the monstrous Grendel in a deadly Beowulf holodeck simulation, meets a sexy warrior lady with terrible aim, and learns that there’s more than one way to stay warm…
We’d be very pleased to “mead” you, friends — so email us here!: engage@sevenofwine.com

 Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

Like our Facebook page for additional vids that we’ll make with your suggestions as inspiration!

Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 013: ‘Muse’ / “His Milkshake Brings All the Peace to the Planet”

by Seven of Wine

Star Trek: Voyager… Live and on stage for one night only!

That is, if Lt. B’elanna Torres can’t inspire a young poet to write a play so good that a war mongerer can be swayed from his… war mongering… ways. This week, Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang are back and reviewing “Muse”, the episode where our favorite half-Klingon crash lands on a planet where she’s a hot enough ticket to fill stadiums (or rather, amphitheaters).

Feeling inspired? Your thoughts to our thoughts here: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

Like our Facebook page for additional vids that we’ll make with your suggestions as inspiration!

Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 012: ‘The Killing Game – Parts I and II’ / “This is Some Nazi Sh*t Right Here”

by Seven of Wine

We have to go back… to the future! The future where the crew of the U.S.S. Voyager go back… to the past! This week, Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang take on the massive 2-parter that transports our favorite spacefarers to a war-torn city in France and pits them against Nazis. Does Janeway get to punch one? What happens when Tom Paris and Chakotay are in a tent together? If Betty Grable came around that corner, what part of her would you be staring at? All this, and more!

Have thoughts? Don’t heil Hitler. Hail us on all frequencies instead: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

Like our Facebook page for additional vids that we’ll make with your suggestions as inspiration!

Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 011: ‘Lifesigns’ / “All My Friends Are Dead, And Everyone Else is Dying”

by Seven of Wine

Love conquers all, including any revulsion one might feel toward rotting flesh! That’s the lesson Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang learn when they review the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Lifesigns”, where the Doctor learns that there’s no cure for an achey-breaky heart.  And if flesh-eating disease doesn’t get your blood pumping at warp 9, how about two of Voyager’s manliest men in a chest-beating contest?

You know what really gets us going, though? Your feedback: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 010: ‘The Chute’ / “Orange is the New Trek”

by Seven of Wine

B’elanna Torres can sit her Klingon ass down because this week, it’s all about Tom Paris and Harry Kim, and the Star Trek: Voyager episode that placed them in prison and launched their epic bromance: ‘The Chute.”

BROton torpedoes. Full spread. FIRE.

Jacqueline Lopez’s and Jennifer Zhang’s passion for the wine they’ve selected pales in comparison to the love Paris and Kim put on display as they protect each other against bloodthirsty inmates, cling to each other for dear life, and then talk about steak and the Delaney sisters, so you don’t think they’re gay or anything.

Gaga ooh-la-la! Want your bad bro-mance… and your feedback! Hail us: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 008: ‘Memorial’ / “Six Flags Magic Planet”

by Seven of Wine

Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang strap in for the emotional roller coaster ride that is the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Memorial”, where the crew of the U.S.S. Voyager gets to experience the thrills of committing major wartime atrocities. The only thing that would complete the experience is funnel cake.

But in all seriousness, this one is heavy, folks. The Star Trek: Voyager treatment of a serious subject is so beautifully poignant, that even Jac and Jen can’t ruin it with their wine-drenched analysis.

We salute you, people of Earth. Send your return salutes (and feedback) via email: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 007: ‘Faces’ / “Klingon, Kling-off”

by Seven of Wine

Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang get their clink-on with their wine glasses, and their Klingon with the powerful Star Trek: Voyager episode “Faces”, where the psyche of chief engineer B’elanna Torres is dissected both figuratively and literally.

This episode has everything! Walking sacks of rotting flesh! A damsel in dis-uniform! Nasty Klingon teeth! Fantastic Klingon rack! And Chakotay – master of disguise!

And after you give us a listen, give us a shout. One email to beam out: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 006: ‘Meld’ / “Janky Hippie Shit”

by Seven of Wine

It’s only logical that Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang would try to mind meld before reviewing the episode of Star Trek: Voyager where Tuvok uses his Vulcan mind magic on a murderous psychopath. Do they succeed? The wine certainly makes them think so.

It’s Star Trek: Voyager meets “The X-Files” meets “Se7en” on this week’s episode, where space DNA is used to solve space crimes, Janeway is Clarice Starling, and what’s in the box is a really, really effed-up Betazoid.

But what’s in the inbox? Hopefully an email from you: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven Of Wine – Episode 005: ‘Shattered’ / “Face Tattoo McNiceHair”

by Seven of Wine

Chakotay gets his day in the sun as Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang break open a bottle on the hull of the Chakota-centric Star Trek: Voyager episode, “Shattered.”

What happens when the U.S.S. Voyager is fractured into different timelines and our favorite first Commanding officer has to traverse the past, present and future to save the day — armed with nothing but his wits, his loyalty to his Captain, and his crazy, crazy face tat?

Ohh! Chakota-no we didn’t!

Oh. We definitely did. And you should really tell us how you feel about that: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

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Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven of Wine – Episode 004: ‘Drone’ / “Party Poopers of the Galaxy”

by Seven of Wine

Seven of Nine finally struts into the spotlight in the latest episode of Seven of Wine! In this new and riveting installment, hosts Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang take on one of the most poignant episodes of Star Trek: Voyager ever: “Drone,” wherein all attempts to resist crying prove futile.

Listen as Jac and Jen pair the episode with a specially selected wine and an imaginary Viking feast, then make a strong case for why the Borg are the worst college frat, and Seven of Nine is tiger mom of the year.

Kiss our assimilation! Or just send us an email to let us know your unique thoughts, you individual, you: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven of Wine – Episode 003: ‘Fair Haven’ / “Delete the Wife”

by Seven of Wine

In our Saint Patrick’s Day special, Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang catch up with the crew of the U.S.S. Voyager on the holodeck, and witness Captain Kathryn Janeway experiencing the luck of the Irish. And by “luck of the Irish” we mean some hot Irish bartender’s face on her face.

While discussing our fair captain’s long-overdue holo-decking in the Season 6 episode “Fair Haven,” Jac and Jen delve into the complexities of falling in love with artificial photon-based beings, and the ethics of modifying holograms to be suitable lovers. At least they attempt to, as the wine takes effect.

And eventually failing that, they just end up describing/hypothetically programming their perfect holograms. H.I.L.F.’s, you might call them.

And if we sham-rock your world with this episode, tell us: engage@sevenofwine.com

Be Part Of Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Seven of Wine – Episode 002: ‘Blood Fever’ / “Let It Happen”

by Seven of Wine

This Valentine’s Day, listen to Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang being really, really immature about “pon farr” — the irrepressible Vulcan mating impulse — as they review what is arguably the sexiest episode of Star Trek: Voyager ever… “Blood Fever.”

Witness what Jacqui describes as “the unraveling of Jennifer Zhang.” Things get hot and heavy as your two hosts discuss violent Klingon foreplay, B’elanna Torres’s heaving bosom, and Tom Paris literally being commanded to administer sexual healing. If Star Trek has never made your heart race at warp 9, prepare to have that change.

And when it’s all over, tell us if it was good for you too: engage@sevenofwine.com

Join Our Federation. We Have Wine.

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Seven of Wine – Episode 001: ‘Caretaker’ / “Then Burn It!”

by Seven of Wine

Engage! It’s the debut of the podcast where twice monthly, hosts Jacqueline Lopez and Jennifer Zhang review an episode of Star Trek: Voyager and a bottle of wine at the exact same time. Set phasers to fun.

Where better to start than the beginning? This week, Jacqui and Jennifer take on the 2-part pilot episode of Star Trek: Voyager, “Caretaker.” Nothing is sacred… not Captain Kathryn Janeway’s porn-tastic reveal… not Ensign Harry Kim’s lustrous hair… not even Lieutenant Tom Paris’s sweaty 90s bad boy chest.

Tell us what you think! Send us fan fiction (and know that what we do with it is something you’ve brought upon yourself): engage@sevenofwine.com

Join Our Federation. We Have Wine.

Subscribe on iTunes to take us on the go and play us on your Personal Access Display Device. Or your phone or whatever.

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Follow our Instagram for our fun Trek shenanigans in the form of photons distributed in patterns in two dimensions.

Follow our Twitter for our pithy Trek musings and humor. Meme me up, Scotty!

Sabrina The Teenage Witch Being Made Into a Live-Action Superhero Film

by Matt Landsman

It’s April 12th and we’re still posting April Fools Jokes? Actually we aren’t.  Deadline has reported that Sony Pictures is “re-imagining” the classic Archie Comics title with some of the original publishers of the comic as the producers.  The site says about the movie ” it will be an origin story in the vein of Spider-Man, about a young girl coming to terms with her remarkable powers.”

Mark Walters is in line to direct the project, scheduling permitting. Casting is sure to be an interesting process that we’ll want to keep an eye on for this project, but as of now, relatively few details have been released from Sony. Stay tuned for further updates when we attempt to answer the pivotal question, “why bother?”