Tag: Guy Ritchie

Geekscape Movie Review: The Gentlemen

by MCDave

Director Guy Ritchie has always been a bit of enigma to me. While you can tell that operating in his comfort zone typically involves shady dealings, ruthless thugs and a whole lot of illegal money, Ritchie will also go on a head-scratching adaptation-spree that includes works like Disney’s live-action remake of Aladdin and a unique twist to the story of King Arthur. But no matter where you stand with the Snatch director, we can all agree that Ritchie’s on the top of his game when he’s delivering a story exactly like the one he brings in the new crime mystery, The Gentlemen.

Ray (Charlie Hunnam) is the right-hand-man for drug lord Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey). Fletcher (Hugh Grant) is a sleazy private detective who digs up dirt on wealthy and powerful men and sells it off to the highest bidder. But when Ray finds Fletcher waiting inside his home and demanding a hefty payout from his boss Mickey, the two men try to piece together everything they know about a very elaborate story. One that includes the sale of Mickey’s weed-growing empire, a rival drug kingpin, a robbery and a healthy dose of twists all along the way.

The Gentlemen flows with energy, carrying an upbeat pace and toe-tapping soundtrack that serve as the perfect complement to Guy Ritchie’s action-packed and hysterical script. Framing the narrative through a story inside of a story lens, as Fletcher finds this whole ordeal fascinating and elaborate enough to turn it into a screenplay that he keeps trying to pitch to people, adds a “next-level” dynamic of comedy that really puts the film over the top. But as anyone familiar with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch will know, vulgarity is a thing with Ritchie’s films. The Gentlemen is no exception, as the C-word feels like it’s on literal repeat for nearly two full hours. If this is something you can’t withstand, it’s important to know that going in. Otherwise, if the copious amounts of profanity won’t ruin the experience for you, expect to laugh loud and often. Ritchie’s script is littered with zingers and beautifully crafted moments of pure hilarity. And just as funny as the film’s dialogue are its actor’s mannerisms. Academy Award Winner Matthew McConaughey gets top billing here, but it’s the insanely effective work of Hugh Grant and Colin Farrell that capture your attention the most. Grant with a chameleon-like performance as he’s completely unrecognizable and simply brilliant as Fletcher, and Farrell with a nuanced and expressive turn that sticks with you despite a limited amount of screen time. The Gentlemen is another brisk and lively endeavor from Guy Ritchie that may not feel as impactful as his earlier work of a similar vein, but it’s always fun and certainly a unique experience witnessing Ritchie is his wheelhouse.

GRADE: 3.5/5

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SXSW Movie Reviews: Us and Them

by MCDave

Without getting overly political, it’s impossible to ignore the growing divide between the wealthy and the working class in developed nations all across the globe. Such an observation serves as the core principle behind Joe Martin’s feature film debut, Us and Them. This SXSW selection also stars newcomer Jack Roth, son of Quentin Tarantino regular Tim Roth (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and The Hateful Eight), in a diabolical role that shows the apple doesn’t far from the acting tree.

Danny (Roth) is a bitter and frustrated working class Brit who’s fed up with the class warfare that plagues society. In a plan to get back at the wealthy elite, he and two fellow accomplices hold a prominent banker and his family hostage and broadcasting the entire ordeal over social media in hopes of starting a political revolution. Yet, things fall apart quickly when Danny’s helpers begin to deviate from his big-picture objective.

Joe Martin’s Us and Them represents a worthwhile achievement that benefits most from its clever non-chronological storytelling and a brilliant lead performance from Jack Roth. Told through multiple chapters, the film offers laugh-out-loud British wit to complement its thrilling kidnapping tale. In its brightest moments, the film rings reminiscent of iconic Guy Ritchie works like Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. However, writer and director Joe Martin eventually loses sight of his overriding voice on the focal point of the feature, watering down his once-poignant socio-political message. However, Us and Them still manages to impress with its unpredictable characters and an unforeseen resolution that ties a satisfying bow on the debut feature.

GRADE: 3.5/5

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Geekscape Movie Reviews: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

by MCDave

In the modern world of remakes and reboots, the industry’s current lack of creativity and imagination usually leads to a complete mishandling of movies and television shows we once held near and dear to our hearts. However, one filmmaker has done an indescribable job of issuing successful returns to the characters we love. After a well-executed two film go-around with the mystery solving, Sherlock Holmes, Guy Ritchie tries his hand at transforming the iconic 1960s television show, The Man from UNCLE, into a big screen phenomenon … and boy does he succeed.

Napolean Solo (played by Henry Cavill), is a former thief turned suave CIA specialist who finds comfort in working alone. Yet, when Solo discovers he must partner up with a super-trained Soviet KGB operative (Armie Hammer), the pair attempts to put their differences aside for the good of the world. The unlikely duo use the daughter of a missing scientist (Alicia Vikander) to try and locate his whereabouts in order to stop an underground criminal organization from producing large quantities of nuclear weapons.

Uncle 1

Anyone familiar with Guy Ritchie knows that he’s a stylish auteur with an impressive film catalog. And his latest endeavor, The Man from UNCLE, hovers right around the top of the director’s filmography. Ritchie has a knack for brilliantly meshing action with comedy, and UNCLE becomes yet another platform for him to unleash his skills. Boasting a clever script filled with sharp and jovial dialogue, these elegantly chosen words are brought to life by a perfectly selected trio of talents. As an outspoken hater of Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel, I had very little praise for anything involved with the film, Henry Cavill’s performance included. However, Guy Ritchie manages to extract the best from his actors and actresses, like he always does, and Cavill demonstrates his true potential in a role that was destined for him. Co-star Armie Hammer refuses to take a back seat and delivers a performance equally as effective to his counterpart. Alicia Vikander rounds out the trio in what’s proving to be an acting year for the ages with the success of Ex Machina and the upcoming Oscar shoe-in, The Danish Girl.

Uncle 2

Although a well-rounded script and gifted performances would usually be enough to hang your hat on, UNCLE takes its winning formula even further with tasteful and exhilarating action sequences that never disappoint. Everything from the opening car chase scene to finely-tuned and choreographed fights, there are a plethora or positive attributes that helps make UNCLE the type of film that satisfies a diversity of audiences. And despite a finale that pushes on just a tad-bit too long, it’s a blemish that’s swept under the rug by a barrage of other outstanding traits.

As someone who went into the film with modest expectations, I was blown away by the level of excitement and laughs splashed all throughout The Man from UNCLE. Guy Ritchie has always been a fantastic source of fun-filled entertainment and his latest work is no exception to the norm. So do yourself a favor and take a chance on one of 2015’s most thrilling and engaging offerings. You won’t regret it.

GRADE: 4/5

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First Look at ‘Knights of the Round Table’ That’s Premiering Against ‘Power Rangers’

by Eric Francisco

You know me, I’ll do anything to mention Lionsgate’s upcoming Power Rangers feature film set for July 22, 2016. Know what else is premiering that date? Guy Ritchie’s Knights of the Round Table, which Warner Bros. has plans to turn into a franchise spanning SIX movies. What happened to the good, old-fashioned trilogy?

Here’s a bite-sized preview straight from Ritchie’s Twitter account.

https://twitter.com/realguyritchie/status/575398577796612096

Well, it certainly looks like what you’d think a King Arthur movie to look like. Yay? (Side note: I misspelled “King Arthur” two seconds ago into “Kung Arthur” and now I want a kung-fu fighting King Arthur more than anything.)

Between Joseph Kahn’s Power/Rangers and now my bae-equivalent of bombastic filmmaking Guy Ritchie going toe-to-toe against my beloved Power Rangers, this has been quite the year of cognitive dissonance for me.

Here’s some information thine courtesy of thy press release. I totally botched olde English, haters shall hate:

Acclaimed filmmaker Guy Ritchie brings his dynamic style to an original King Arthur epic, a sweeping fantasy action adventure starring Charlie Hunnam (FX’s “Sons of Anarchy”), for Warner Bros. Pictures and Village Roadshow Pictures. Principal photography has begun at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden, UK.

 

The bold new story introduces a streetwise young Arthur who runs the back alleys of Londonium with his gang, unaware of the life he was born for until he grasps hold of the sword Excalibur—and with it, his future. Instantly challenged by the power of Excalibur, Arthur is forced to make some hard choices. Throwing in with the Resistance and a mysterious young woman named Guinevere, he must learn to master the sword, face down his demons and unite the people to defeat the tyrant Vortigern, who stole his crown and murdered his parents, and become King.

 

The film will shoot primarily at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden, and on location in Wales and Scotland.

 

Slated for release on July 22, 2016, it will be distributed in North America by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company, and in select territories by Village Roadshow Pictures.

 

During the Disney ownership of the Power Rangers franchise, production was briefly overseen by Village Roadshow Pictures. Amazing how some things come full circle.

Ooh, also! There was a whole episode of Power Rangers Time Force where the Red Ranger got kick-ass armor upgrades after fighting an evil black knight. They also have a hard time believing the Green Ranger when he tells them the evil knight made him lose their pizza. The Power Rangers. Not believing a knight exists. It’s as bonkers as it sounds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQkyeb8vfSE

See Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer Be Spy Bros in ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’ Trailer!

by Eric Francisco

Currently blowing up your feeds is the trailer for Guy Ritchie’s newest film, The Man From U.N.C.L.E., a feature film adaptation of the old TV series. If you haven’t seen it yet YOU NEED TO.

The film stars Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Debicki, who might be my new celebrity crush.

I’m a big fan of Guy Ritchie’s bombastic style, and this film oozes his swagger. It’s sexy, thrilling, amusing and incredibly well-crafted in the right ways.

We can all make jokes about this film being Superman fighting the Lone Ranger (who wants to remember that movie?) but I think it has the potential to be a really great buddy cop action movie for the modern age. That’s a genre I confess to kind of miss. Plus, Cold War-era spy thrillers are back in vogue with Archer and The Americans kicking all sorts of ass. If you aren’t sold yet, why not?

Also, I’m just really glad Armie Hammer is still working. The Lone Ranger was a total mistake, but I like his screen presence and I think he has the potential to be a great leading man. It’d be a shame if his talents weren’t used to their full advantage.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is slated for release August 14, 2015. Oh man, August. I can’t wait for the weather to be nice and hot again. Fuck this snow.

Side note: Guy Ritchie has just joined Twitter (@RealGuyRitchie) and Instagram (@GuyRitchie). I hope it’s just him handling his social media and not a PR team. Guy Ritchie’s eyes through Instagram filters could be insane. Follow him! Just don’t stalk him, of course.

Surprise! Watch The Live-Action Trailer For ‘Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2’ Directed By Guy Ritchie!

by Shawn Madden

Check out the live-action trailer for Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2, directed by Guy Ritchie, with some very special guests.

Pushing the boundaries of what fans have come to expect from the record-setting entertainment franchise, Call of Duty: Black Ops II propels players into a near future, 21st Century Cold War, where technology and weapons have converged to create a new generation of warfare. Combining incredible high-dynamic range graphics and sensational new gameplay, Black Ops II sets you off on secret operations as Frank Woods – the protagonist from the original Black Ops game. The non-linear storyline will see you battling during a futuristic Cold War, as well as tackling flashbacks from historical missions and playing as various members of the Mason family. Every decision you make during this story will affect future consequences, giving you a different experience every time you play. With new futuristic weapons, the chance to master a number of different vehicles and modes of transport, and a mysterious villain – known simply as Raul Menendez – Black Ops II is set to be the ultimate Call of Duty game.

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2 hits shelves November 13th!

Guy Ritchie Sets Sail For “Treasure Island”

by Scott Alminiana

Deadline is reporting that Warner Bros. has announced that Guy Ritchie will direct an updated take on the Robert Louis Stevenson classic “Treasure Island.” Alex Harakis (whom I’ve never heard of, nor does he have any writing credits to his name on IMDB page) has been hired to write the screenplay.

Guy Ritchie’s last movie was “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows,” which I never saw, but I really had no desire to see it due to the fact that there is only one true Sherlock Holmes in my opinion, and it ain’t Robert Downey Jr. Anyway, it comes out on DVD/Blu-ray on June 12th.

As for the announcement  of Ritchie directing “Treasure Island,” anyone who has seen a Guy Ritchie movie can tell you exactly what it will be like. It will be a monotone colored movie with a lot of sword fights in slow motion. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing though, I’m just stating the obvious.

Madonna’s MDNA: The Geekscape Review

by Eric Diaz

Divorce might be a bad thing for Madonna, the human being…but it turns out to almost always be a great thing for Madonna, the artist. When Madonna first emerged in the early 80’s, she was instantly capable of making infectious pop tunes that rightfully earned their place on the charts. Her albums, however, well…. that was another story. Aside from the hit singles everyone knows and loves, the first few Madonna albums were filled with capital F Filler material. There’s a reason her first greatest hits compilation The Immaculate Collection is the biggest selling “best of” from any solo artist; no casual fans wants those early, amateurish Madonna albums like Like A Virgin just for the hit singles.

That all changed after her 1989 divorce from her first husband actor Sean Penn, when she unleashed her first great album Like A Prayer on the world. It was the first entirely listenable from start to finish Madonna album, and showed that she was more than just another generic Top 40 hit maker.  Maybe it took an abusive marriage and a painful divorce to bring that out of her, but after that, there was no turning back.

Flash forward to Madonna’s last album, 2008’s Hard Candy. Although an overall fun, fluffy album, in hindsight the whole endeavor reeked of desperation. Instead of working with little known European electronic music producers (as she had done since her critically acclaimed album Ray of Light) she made a desperate attempt at getting airplay on American radio by teaming up with an assorted collection of the top hit makers of the moment. Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Pharell Williams and Timbaland all contributed to that album, and while it was fine for what it was…it just didn’t sound like Madonna. Madonna always follows the beat of her own drummer, and for once, she didn’t.  Yeah, she got a fairly big hit out of it (4 Minutes) but the album was one of her lowest selling to date.

Madonna's pop legacy at this point is indisputable, but can the 53 year old icon keep up with the new crop of pop divas?

And then there is the elephant in the room;  in the four years since Hard Candy, Madonna’s slot in pop culture has been filled by Lady Gaga, who has done a better job at being Madonna than Madonna herself has these past few years. So with her latest album MDNA, Madonna has a lot to prove. Can she compete with the pop ingenues that are single handedly keeping the music business afloat? Does she even need to compete with them at this point? After all, with nearly thirty years of top ten hits behind her, she can rest on her laurels and just tour with her greatest hits forever and rake in the cash.

But it seems its as if she viewed the arrivals of the Gagas and the Rhiannas and the Katy Perries over the past few years since her last album as a throwing down of the gauntlet, and with MDNA she has truly responded in kind with one of her best albums yet. Never quite reaching the creative heights of Ray of Light and Confessions on a Dance Floor, MDNA is still up there with the best of them, and sounds more creatively fresh and new than someone who has been this long in the business really has any right to.

With MDNA, Madonna has re-united with William Orbit, the producer for her seminal 1998 album Ray of Light on six tracks, and teamed for the first time with hot French electronic artist Martin Solveig on another six tracks, and rounded it all out with Italian Ministry of Sound producer Benny Benassi.  Instead of a giant mish-mash, instead MDNA coheres into something wonderful, if not always perfect. Both old and new Madonna fans will be eating this one up upon release.

So, without any further ado, is my track by track assessment of MDNA (standard version)

1. Girl Gone Wild  (3 *** out of 5 *****)

-The second single off this album should have absolutely been the first. It is far from my favorite on this album, but it sets the tone for what follows well enough.  MDNA is mostly up tempo club beats, and GGW lets you know what you’re gonna be in for in suitable fashion. The album version of the track opens with the Catholic prayer the Act of Contrition (how very Like A Prayer of you Madge) and then descends into total Britney Spears land. In fact, GGW could have easily been a track on Britney’s last album Femme Fatale. But that’s not really a bad thing. Plus, we got a really homolicious video out of it. So I’m ok overall with GGW.

Choice Lyrics: The room is spinning/It must be the Tanqueray/I’m about to go astray/My inhibition’s gone away  (I sure hope Tanqueray  gin gets a cut of the profits)

You’ll Like This Song If You Like: Britney Spears music from the past five years, Madonna’s 2009 single Celebration.

Madge, you really need to lay off the Photoshop filters; you didn't even look like a 22 year old Victoria Secret model when you debuted, and that was thirty years ago.

2. Gang Bang (4 1/2 **** out of 5*****)

-Despite the title, this song is not about group sex (she covered that subject pretty well back during the Erotica/Sex Book era) But like the song Thief of Hearts on Erotica, where she threatened to kick ex hubby Sean Penn’s new wife Robin Wright’s ass, this song is Madonna at her bitter and angriest. (Believe me, compared to Guy Ritchie in this song, Robin Wright got off easy) Essentially, this song is a fantasy of an angry woman  shooting her lover in the head, going to Hell for it, and shooting her lover in the head all over again once they both get there. This is the first of many songs that are so clearly about her ex husband as to almost be uncomfortable. But Madonna’s bitterness results in one of the hottest, grittiest tracks on the album.

Choice Lyrics: 

And I’m going straight to hell/And I’ve got a lot of friends there/And if I see that bitch in hell/I’m gonna shoot him in the head again/Cause I wanna see him die/Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over

You’ll Like This Song If You Like: Thief of Hearts from Erotica, 90’s Old Skool techno music, the Kill Bill movies.

3. I’m Addicted (5 ***** out of 5 *****)

-Easily my favorite track on the album. Some artists are their most emotionally compelling and real when they are singing heartfelt ballads and love songs. A few songs like that aside (Live to Tell, Take A Bow) that sure ain’t Madonna’s strong suit. Madonna is most resonant when singing about the joys of losing yourself to the beat on the dance floor, and letting the groove carry you into euphoric oblivion. Whether it is Into the Groove or Vogue or Ray of Light or Music, killer dance music is what Madonna does best. And I’m Addicted is right up there with the best of ‘em.

Choice Lyrics: Now that your name /pumps like the blood in my veins /Pulse through  my body /igniting my mind /it’s like MDMA /And that’s ok 

You’ll Like This Song If You Like: Dancing. Plain and simple. Also, if you like Daft Punk’s TRON: Legacy score. (and ecstasy)

4. Turn Up The Radio (4 **** out of 5*****)

– Not sure why on Earth Madonna didn’t choose this as her first single, as it is a perfectly wonderful little radio friendly dance tune. French electro artist Martin Solveig’s hand is heavily felt throughout this track. A fun song about getting in your car, turning up your speakers really loud and driving fast as you sing along. A simple song about simple pleasures, but done well. If this were ten years or so back, this song would be a Summer radio anthem, but at Madonna’s age it will be difficult to get enough signigicant radio play in the States for that to happen. Oh well, our loss.

Choice Lyrics: Turn down the noise and turn up the volume /Don’t have a choice cause the temperatures pounding /If leaving this place is the last thing I do /Then I want to escape with a person just like you  (I never said this was a complex ditty folks. Just a fun one)

You’ll Like This If You Like: Martin Solveig’s current hit song Hello

5. Give Me All Your Luvin’ (feat. MIA and Nicki Minaj) (2 1/2 ** out of 5 *****)

-This first single landed with a giant meh, and while it isn’t offensive by any means…it sounds way too much like most modern pop hits today for my taste, as it is the same first minute or so just repeated for the duration of the rest of the four minute song. I’ll say it is less offensive as album filler than as a single. And at least we got a cute video out of it, and that whole awesome cheerleader section she did during the Superbowl. But this is one of the weaker tracks on the album, and when some of the fan made remixes are better than the final product, you know you’re in trouble. I think the only reason it became a single is she realized she was doing the Super Bowl and saw a cheerleader tie in and saw a marketing opportunity. Madonna the business woman won out over Madonna the artist.

Choice Lyrics: L-U-V-Madonna! (I know, I’m reaching here)

You’ll Like This Song If You Like: Mickey by Tony Basil?

6. Some Girls (4**** out of 5*****)

– And now we’re back to form again. Some Girls is a killer dance track, where M reminds everyone that unlike “some girls” she’s never gonna become a hot mess, have a public nervous breakdown, or any of that nonsense that seems to plague so many of these pop princesses these days. If Madonna wants to show you her vajayjay, it will be because she wants to, not because she was a sloppy drunk mess coming out of a limo. And she’s never gonna pull a Whitney and drown in hotel bathtub (too soon?) Bitch has got way too much shit to do, like making sure everyone gets down on the damn dance floor.

Choice Lyrics: Some girls got an attitude/Fake tits and a nasty mood

You’ll Like This If You Like: Ladytron, Lady Gaga’s Heavy Metal Lover. 

7. Superstar (2 1/2 ** out of 5 *****)

In my opinion, Madonna doesn’t really do cutesy and cuddly very well (I’ve never much liked her attempts at doing so with songs like Cherish) And this song is a little too cutesy for my taste. The song doesn’t really go anywhere, and is just M comparing her latest love (presumably her thirty years younger boyfriend Brahim Zabat) to the likes of Marlon Brando, John Travolta and Abe Lincoln (for reals) by the time the song is over, I’m eager for her to go back to talking smack on her ex husband and being slutty on the dance floor. I imagine a lot of fans will think this song is cute, and frankly it could be worse. But to me, this one is pretty much filler material.

Choice Lyrics: You’re Bruce Lee with the way you move/you’re Travolta getting into your groove

You Might Like This Song If You Like: Cherish, Little Star

8. I Don’t Give A…

– This is probably my second least favorite song on the album. This is also the second song on the album where Madge works with current  “it girl”  Nicki Minaj. Madonna “rapping” brings back too many bad memories of her awful song American Life. (note to Madonna- you can’t be good at everything. Rapping is one of those things…kinda like acting.) Around the halfway mark though, the Nicki Minaj totally takes over and the song becomes more fun and interesting, with Nicki standing in for M and rapping much better than she ever could, saying cheeky things like “I’m not a business woman, I’m A BUSINESS, Woman!”  Minaj’s second half of the song kind of saves it in my opinion.

Choice Lyrics: Madonna’s still the only queen…bitch. I can’t wait for Gaga’s little monsters to have aneurisms over that line.

You Like This Song If You Like: Nicki Minaj.

9. I’m A Sinner (4**** out of 5*****)

– If Madonna fused her 1999 hit William Orbit produced song Beautiful Stranger with say, some of her more blasphemous sentiments from Like A Prayer, then you’d get I’m A Sinner.  Channeling some of her “fuck you” attitude she displayed towards her critics from her song Human Nature, Madonna cheerfully sings “I’m a sinner/And I like that way/All the boys and girls/Wanna be like us tonight”  Madonna is always political even when it isn’t obvious, and I can’t help but think this is her way of giving her finger to all the Santorums and Rushes of the world, who thrive on their hate of gays and “loose” girls. At the end of the day, they’re just jealous, cause they wanna be like us, but don’t have the balls to be “sinners who like it that way.”

Choice Lyrics: Jesus Christ hanging on the cross/died for our sins/it’s such a loss

You’ll Like This If You Like: Beautiful Stranger, Madonna’s song Amazing from Music

10. Love Spent (5 ***** out of 5*****)

– My second favorite song on the album. Just the kind of pure pop magic that can happen when Madonna gets in the studio with William Orbit. The song starts with some country banjo of all things, then some disco-esque violins. This is another pointed song at ex hubby Guy Ritchie, where she pretty much accuses him of marrying her for her massive bank account. (oh, who didn’t think that?)  More than anything, I love this song for the fact that at the halfway point, it just becomes another song entirely. With most pop songs, you know what the entire three to four minutes is gonna sound like by the time you hit that one minute mark; repetitiveness is the key to selling. Hell, Give Me All Your Luvin’ is a perfect example of this, and one of the reasons I hate most modern Top 40. I love that this song does not do that. I just adore this one.

Choice Lyrics: I want you to hold me /Like you hold your money /Hold on to it /Till there’s nothing left 

You Will Like This Song If You Like: Don’t Tell Me, another Madonna hit William Orbit produced. Actually, if you loved either of the albums Ray of Light or Music, you’ll likely fall for Love Spent.

 11. Masterpiece (2 1/2 ** out of 5*****)

– the song that won Madonna her Golden Globe for Best Song and made frenemy Elton John so very irritated. It’s a pretty song, but Madonna and William Orbit have done much better together, on this album and others.  It’s vibe doesn’t match the rest of the album really, and it shouldn’t, as it was written for her movie no one saw W.E. It was a last minute decision to include it on MDNA, and actually, the whole song feels last minute. It’s not bad, its just…there. There are at least two tracks on the “Bonus Songs” that should have been included instead of Masterpiece. Ultimately, this is my least liked song on MDNA.

You’ll Like This Song If You Like: Sappy Madonna ballads like This Used to be My Playground. 

The song Masterpiece was ultimately worth it, if only for the look on Sir Elton John's face when it beat out his song at the Golden Globes.

12. Falling Free (3 1/2 *** out of 5 *****)

A much better, more interesting ballad than Masterpiece. Kind of a downer way to end the album proper, but its really quite beautiful, very melancholy without being cheesy. William Orbit’s fingerprints are all over this one, in fact it sounds like it is a missing track from Ray of Light. But again, that’s not really a bad thing. As far as break up songs go, this one’s a classic.

Choice Lyrics: When I loose a certain claim/That tries to know and needs to blame/Whatever ever runs the ground/It turns my hate and washes down

You Might Like This Song If You Like: The Power of Goodbye & To Have And Not To Hold from the album Ray of Light.

 But Wait! There’s More!

The digital “Deluxe” version of MDNA has the option of having five extra bonus tracks. Some of these are great and deserve to be on the album proper, and some I totally get why they were left off. Since these are just bonus tracks, I’ll keep these reviews more brief:

13. Beautiful Killer

-Very 80’s inspired, this could have almost been a hit Madonna song in 1985. Well, except maybe for the part where she seems turned on by a gun being put in her mouth.  That probably wouldn’t have flown on Casey Kasem’s America’s Top 40  radio show back in the day. I would have replaced Masterpiece with this.

14. I Fucked Up

-Not really a great song, but an interesting coda to a whole album where she spends so much time blaming her ex-husband for all her marriage’s problems. Here she admits, that despite it all, it was she who fucked up royally. But as an actual  song, its not that great. Has its moments.

15. B-Day Song

-Her other collaboration with MIA. Rumor has it after the whole Super Bowl “flipping the bird” incident with MIA, Madonna pushed this off the main album. (She’s vindictive like that, so I believe it) Or, it could be that’s it’s just filler at best and never had a chance. This song is pretty much just about how Madonna loves to celebrate her birthday (yeah right. Maybe when she was a teenager.)

16. Best Friend

-Another song where she cops to missing her ex, you know…the one she tried to kill and called a bitch several times at the top of the album. With lyrics like your pictures off my wall/but I’m still waiting for your call/because every man that walks through my door/will be compared to you forever more. It shows M is more than a little conflicted when it comes to her feelings about one Mr. Ritchie. 

17. The LMFAO Remix of Give Me All Your Luvin’

-I really hate to say this, but it is way better than the regular version.

And there you have it. If you’re a Madonna fan, there’s no way you won’t get this one, but if you’re a lapsed Madonna fan or even a new Madonna fan, get on iTunes and order this puppy already. MDNA officially comes out on Monday, March 26th from Interscope.