Author: Nick Gregorio

My review is extremely late. I apologize for the tardiness. After moving to LA I threw off the daily schedule I developed back East. That coupled with trying to find a job and a few bouts with home-sickness, left me lacking the motivation to deliver a quality article. Instead of turning in garbage, I took the lazy way out and did not submit an article. Remember kids, a good set of excuses will always get you out of trouble.

So, here it is: Stack Attack! I have a back log of books I’ve read and a trade or two. Let’s get right down to the good stuff. There are some heavy hitters that finally turned in a bad issue and some new comers (for me at least) that might take the crown.

Avengers/Invaders #8, Thor #600, Batman #686, Hulk #10, Umbrella Academy #4, Superman #685, The New Avengers #50, Joker TPB

This is the issue that took me out of the series. It’s sad to say because this was a strong title but with issue #8 it’s starting to lose its cohesion. The iconic battles are over and now situations are being rehashed. The book is starting to play out like a video game, one boss battle or puzzle makes way for another more difficult one. There are still some highlights, though; for instance, when Human Torch destroys the Replicants. The twist ending of the issue is interesting but the story feels like it’s being dragged out. I will continue to purchase this series and I hope anyone I recommended this book to will continue to read, but I’m doubting it will finish strong.

I have a huge confession to make… this is the first Thor comic I have read in its entirety. Please, cease your hail storm of tomatoes! I always thought Thor was lame. I’m not big into sword and sorcery, so the character never appealed to me. I hated how his dialogue was written and I couldn’t stand his awful costume. I’m glad I got that out of my system. I heard good things about the latest Thor run. I like Straczynski’s work, minus The Changeling, and Coipel’s art has an original style (not to mention he redesigned the whack costume: “excuse me, sir, do these boot tassel straps come in yellow? Great, they’ll go perfectly with my hair!”) The cover of #600 really caught my eye, so I flipped open the book and saw it was a brand new story arc. I was sold. I have to say I was blown away. The art was amazing. The story was intriguing. Loki is a crafty villain and the perfect counter point to Thor and his almighty power. Not to spoil this issue, but a godly fight in Times Square really gets my nerdy juices flowing. The end result will leave you with the question: where does The Mighty Thor go from here? I’ll be back next issue to find out.

Whatever happened to entertaining, well-planned, Batman stories? I get the Bat-allegory going on here. The symbolism. The iconic representation of Batman through each age. I don’t really care. I want to see a classic Bat-tale pitting my favorite hero’s wits and physicality against a worthy opponent. I don’t care if it’s been done. If your are going to “kill” Bruce Wayne/Batman you drop him in a situation where his pride gets him in way over his head. Plain and simple. Maybe issue #2 will be more clear and actually have a satisfying ending.

Hulk slipped up, noooooooooooo! This issue was a real snoozer. I am so disappointed that the champ is dethroned. Hulk was a consistently entertaining book but it lost its charm on #10. Seems as though a new twist to the story arc will lead to a tournament of champions brought on by some cosmic beings. This came completely out of no where. We still don’t know who Red Hulk is and I think the pay off won’t even be worth it. There were some clever elements to the story, but overall, they were not exactly what I was expecting or hoping for.

There is a new champ of consistent entertainment. UA really delivers on every level. It’s funny, has some nice one-liners, filled with action, and the art is amazing. Just when you think the two psychotic, highly trained assassins have won the day, Seance, the creepy dead Academy sibling, pulls off the sickest death defying (literally) save-the-day moment. Next issue features time travel and the JFK assassination…and who doesn’t like those… I take that back. I could see Caroline Kennedy opposing.

When humanity makes a decision to cast out the Kandorian Kryptonians, the Man of Steel is left to make an impossible sacrifice: he must give up his citizenship of the Earth to bring peace to Kandor. In a sad and touching issue, this amazing run of Superman continues to redefine and further cement this character as the greatest of all time. A hero is made through sacrifice. The anguish of one creates peace for billions. The last pages of this issue will move you in some way, guaranteed.

Shut up already. Talk and talk and talk. I don’t want to see the Avengers talk for half of the issue. Everything about this book is lazy. I know it’s Bendis’ style to reuse panels but that shit is boring. The action at the end of the issues is nice, though. The avengers take on a group super villains led by The Hood, but I would much rather see an interesting, well-paced story throughout the entire experience. Mr. Bendis, I challenge you to write a story where dialogue/voice over is used at a minimum and the action, not necessarily fighting, drives the story.

I was expectng more. Azzarelo created an interesting Gotham City and he put an interesting twist on the characters. My main gripe comes with Azzarelo’s choice for the narrator role: Jonny Frost. The character is dull, flat, and predictable. I wanted to take this wild ride from the Joker’s perspective. I wanted to see more confrontations with Batman. I was scared of the Joker, but he was scarier in A Death in the Family. The tale wasn’t all that twisted and anxiety-inducing. It was short and simple and tired. The art, on the other hand, was amazing and some of Bermejo’s best. I believe Bermejo draws the best version of Batman and the Joker, for that matter. For the price and the length this trade falls far shorter than my expectations. 

The best part about the new comics this week was buying them. DJ’s Universal beats the pants off of any comic shop I’ve frequented on the east coast. That being said, I was completely bored with this week’s purchase. I was only entertained by one issue. One out of five! Thank god for the 30% discount because I would be extremely ticked off if I paid full price. 

It’s been a while so let me lay down the way I do things here. I review the comics I buy each week. They usually range from 3-5 issues per week. I read mostly super hero titles but I do pick up a few indies occasionally. Sit back relax and get ready to take a nap.

the Amazing Spider-man #584 and 585, The Boys #27, X-men vs Hulk One Shot, Secret Six #6

Hot diggity, I know what I said. Don’t you dare try to throw it in my face. I know I quit Amazing, I know I did, but I love JR’s work. He is the best spider-man artist there is. No one delivers such dynamic, fresh, and textured approaches to the web head and his rogues quite like Romita . The writing, on the other hand… well, that blows a big old bubble. Slow and steady and boring. Menace is a whack villain. The spider-tracer storyline is such a waste of panels that I almost want to cut them out. Harry Osborne already played the tired role of “Am I a villain or am I a nice guy?” And if this story didn’t suck enough, the twist at the end of #585 will leave you shocked… that anyone would ever put this story into print.

A steaming pile of green and chrome shit- that is the best way to describe this book. Wolverine decides to get cute and pit a young Colossus against the Incredible Hulk. You would think that would be interesting – Wrong! Claremont loads this ish up with words. Raapack’s art is inconsistent, going from slick to lazy from panel to panel. It ends with a moral, like Aesop’s fables. Whipe your ass with this one.

Garth Ennis is capable of making some very serious social commentaries, and this issue in particular is a prime example of that. I have always loathed gross displays of drunkenness and perversion i.e. St. Patrick’s day. My girlfriend, who is Irish, is a small percentage of the population that celebrates responsibly, but for the most part it’s a bunch of people drinking way too much. The opening page gives a harsh but eerily familiar depiction of the “holiday” celebration. The social commentary aside, this issue is gross. The issue also moves at a snail’s pace. I hope The Boys starts to pick up or at the very least stops relying solely on shocking images every five issues.

I liked this issue but I think this series is starting to run out of steam. The show down with Junior was kind of weak but there was a cool back story reveal. The action was well placed and the dialogue, per usual, was snappy. The twist at the end of the book left me with mixed feelings. I will be interested to see where it goes. One thing Simone does really well is give these crazy super villains very psychotic personalities. She definitely gave the Mad Hatter a dash of sadistic that worked very well.

Sorry for being tardy with this weeks reviews. I hope that next week stacks up a better offering. Until then, take it easy, Greasy.

-Nick Gregorio

After a bit of a hiatus STACK ATTACK! is back, Jack.  How cool was that opening line?  I hope everyone liked my Comics Retrospective.  Forgive me for getting sappy. This week I am back to my old not-so-witty antics.  To bring everyone up to speed, I just moved to Hollywood.  Bright lights and all that jazz aside, I’m fitting in well.  I got to kick it with my homie, Jon London, and bust out a super-fresh episode of Geekscape.  Check that out when you get the chance. Now, without further adieu, it’s time to rip through some of the latest and lamest in the comic book world.

Umbrella Academy #3 

As I sit here at my desk, just days before moving to California, I start to realize the effect that comic books have had on my life thus far. Sorry, but this is not my normal weekly review – Stack Attack! will reconvene on the 28th – this is a retrospective of sorts; the culmination of a quarter life’s obsession.

As far back as I could remember, I have always wanted to be Batman, or, at the very least, Robin. He had such a certain determination about his character. There was right and wrong boiled down to the simplest terms and no matter how horrible the crime, no one deserved to die. I admired that. Growing up in an era where every major action hero killed on a whim, Batman, no matter how deadly the foe, never brought himself down to their level. He wasn’t an anti-hero. He was a hero.

There was another character who shared equal footing with the Caped Crusader and I imagine you can guess who: Captain America. Same attributes as Batman, except his motivations were driven by an external cause- the ideals and freedoms of America.

Ironically enough, my two favorite characters have been killed off. I haven’t gotten a chance to read Final Crisis but I fear the worst. I do think it’s fitting that the best of the comic book world should be laid to rest. The world is no longer black and white. Heroes are no longer great men and great men haven’t been heroes for a very long time. I welcome the flaws of the modern hero. The Kick-Ass generation. The kids, now men, raised on the unachievable heroes of their favorite funny books. And it turns out, living up to a hero – the absolutes, the rights and wrongs – is a lot harder than they made it look.

Before I get distracted on character minutia, I’d like to address the evolution of the comic book medium and how it has modeled me and influenced my career choice. I’ve been reading comic books since before I could read. The images alone were pure imagination come to rendered life. The characters and worlds created astounded me. There was so much history, all fictional, brimming out of every issue. There were morals (lessons on how to live) and social commentaries (not all as heavy handed as you’d expect) married seamlessly with high action and drama.

I envied the creative teams. They had so much power and so much freedom. They were given the opportunity to create life. The stories resonated for years to come. They engrossed their audiences. More than just an escape, they were a peak into another dimension. The characters were more than just figments of some writer’s imagination. They lived and breathed and fought and died. They became bigger than their creators intended. They became legend.

I grew from a child obsessing over the medium to a man determined to create worlds of my own. When you create a world, rich with it’s own history, it is almost impossible for people to ignore it. It wasn’t merely the action that attracted me to story telling. It wasn’t solely the moments of drama or levity. It wasn’t even the relationships formed. It was a combination of all those elements. It was the world.

With out the influence of comic books I wouldn’t have become the film maker I am today. I wouldn’t be moving to California. I wouldn’t be furthering my career in cinema. So, the next time you pick up a 32 page, double staplebound, stack of sequentially graffitied-on paper remember that it is much more than ink and words. It is your access to a living world of possibility.

There is no time for jokes this week. No funny one liners. No off the wall references. This week I am going to review two weeks worth of comic books: 13 individual issues! I’m not that funny. I’m not that clever. I don’t have enough material; what the hell am I going to do?

(Nick, in an act of desperation, raises his head to Valhalla and, like a CRACK from the mighty hammer Moljner, it dawns on him…)

*GIANT SIZE STACK ATTACK!

Imagine me, the handsome and talented Nick Gregorio, breaking through your monitor and jumping into your lap and whispering into your ear 13 cleverly contrived comic book reviews. That’s how serious this weeks Stack Attack! is.

(Nick Greg-editor’s note: Giant Size is a title most typically given to a comic book that contains over thirty pages of sequential art. Thankfully my review will be under thirty pages… so, it’s only Giant Sized at heart)

Back to Brooklyn #3, Avengers/Invaders #7, Incognito #1, Batman #684, Superman #683, Batman: Cacophony #2, Green Lantern #36, Wolverine #70: Old Man Logan, The Boys #26, Secret Six #5, Kick-Ass #5, Marvel Zombies 3 #4, Spawn #186 (Yes,mothertrucker, all those comics!)

*Like Jon McClane said to Zeus on the Cargo Boat, at the end of Die Hard with A Vengeance, right before he broke off Zeus’ hand cuffs, “This is gonna go quick”, so, like Ray Arnold said to John Hammond in Jurassic park, “Hold onto your butts.” (Nick Greg-editor’s note: This is gonna go quick so hold onto your butts.)

BtoB is stereotypical Italian mafia bullshit. Sorry to break it to you: It’s old hat. It’s been done. It’s a Gangster revenge story full of dumb Italian caricatures. Garth Ennis is so overrated it’s not even funny. He throws together explicit sexual references and a jug of blood and fanboys piss themselves. Jimmy Palmiotti does a disservice to the Italian American community and for a real laugh read the blog Palmiotti writes at the end of each issue.

The story is false. The characters are flat Tarentino rip-offs. Any college kid who has watched too many gangster flicks could have written this. Pick this book up if you prefer Donnie Brasko over The Godfather.

This comic just keeps getting better. If you’re not reading this series then you are missing out. Robot take over! Non-stop Action! New Cap meet old Cap meet his fist. Buy this comic!

This brand new comic from the talented Captain America scribe Ed Brubaker turns a neat concept into a boring issue #1.

What if Super villains, when apprehended, were forced to suppress their powers and become just like everyone else? That’s the concept.

“I hate my life. I used to have powers. I’m just part of the rat race now. I need drugs to cope. I got my powers back. I saved a girl. God I hate that I did that.” That’s the issue except dragged out for thirty pages.

The art on the issue is good but suffers from too much shadowed area. I haven’t lost faith in Incognito I just wasn’t completely sold by issue #1.

Do not buy another Batman comic until Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert release Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? #684 was bush league. Don’t buy it.

Just when you think Stack Attack! is all but lost to bitter tirades and non-sensical humor look up in the sky: It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No… It’s a Super Kryptonian, Superman, DC Universe Super team throw down! The amount of tension built up throughout the first half of this issue is heavy. I hate Superman’s Aunt. I never thought I would say that. This lady wants a war and she will not listen to reason. She will not listen to Superman! The heroes of the DCU want justice for the men and women killed by the Kryptonians of Kandor and they are willing to play the part of judge, jury, and executioner if necessary. The Kryptonians of Kandor, led by (Superman’s aunt and Supergirl’s mom) Alura, refuse to bend to the laws of the United States. Superman tries to stop the battle then something that you thought you would never see happen, happens.

SUPERGIRL PUNCHES SUPERMAN IN THE FACE!!! BUY THIS COMIC!

Remember when I said “not to buy another Batman comic…” well I shouldn’t have ate the whole jar of cookies. What I meant to say was wait for Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? and in the mean time read Cacophony. Kevin Smith is on point with this comic. It’s fun and fresh. Like a red headed kid in a Life cereal commercial.

Walt Flanagan’s anatomy gets a little sloppy in a couple of panels but it’s forgivable. All in all this is shaping up to be a worth while mini-series.

The Green Lantern’s power stems from the fearlessness of willpower. The Yellow Lantern’s power stems from the manipulative power of fear. The Red Lantern’s power stems from rage. The Blue Lantern’s power stems from Barack Obama… err, I mean hope. Now that you have all been brought up to speed; Green lantern rules.
 

The Saga of the Red Lanterns starts at the execution of the leader of the Yellow Lanterns, Sinestro. Born of Rage, the Red Lantern’s free Sinestro only to make him a slave. Hal Jordan, one of many Green Lanterns, is caught in the middle of this mess. He is intercepted by the Blue Lanterns, bearers of hope, who need him to defeat the Red Lanterns.

It sounds like a whole pile of corny poop but trust me, and if you are a fan of GL then I’m preaching to the choir: Geoff Johns plays everything real. No camp. No horse shit.

Buy this book, pretty please mother.

“It’s been fifty years sine the super villains massacred the heroes” and Wolverine is a farmer with a family. Hawkeye is a blind sorta-criminal. They team up. What more do I have to say? How about Wolverine doesn’t pop his claws any more? How about Wolverine lives a life of non-violence? How about Wolverine killed all of the– Whoops, I got a little ahead of myself.

What a cool story. No one does else-world/future-imperfect quite like Mark Millar. McNiven’s art is top notch, mixing gritty detail with clean pencil lines. Pick up the back issues and pick up this issue. You will cringe when you find out why Wolverine gave up doing what he does best.

I like The Boys as much as I hate it. “Neat ideas” grabs a drink with “too much dialogue” and “annoying captions” at a whore house. Buy it if you like anything Ennis.

(Running out of steam… too many comics.. brain wracking…)

First and foremost I would like to apologize to Ms. Niccola Scott. I actualy referred to she as he in a previous review. SS#5 was a solid issue but it wasn’t great. The Secret Six were ambushed in Vegas and poisoned. With the help of the casino owner they were able to escape the clutches of the creep-show, Junior; everyone except for Bane, that is.

If Bruce Wayne were reading this issue he would giggle with joy. Bruce isn’t real so I giggled for him. Bane gets hit with 400-some-odd bricks in the face and Junior rides the creepy express all the way up to give-me-the-willies town.

I’m going to save myself the trouble of writing a long, biting review and say, “Trash. Don’t buy it. I’m not going to any more.”

If you haven’t heard of Kick-Ass yet get ready for a media shit storm. While only in it’s fifth issue, shooting has already begun on the highly anticipated feature film of the same name. It’s the story of Peter Parker but if Peter was never bitten by a spider and read a lot of comics and tried to fight crime and became famous over the Internet and his name’s not Peter. Kick-Ass is a comical and sometimes gruesome hyper-real telling of a masked vigilante origin story.

Issue five presents our hero with a little competition. There’s a new crime fighter on the beat. He goes by the name of The Red Mist and he’s become the new big thing.

Romita and Millar are in top form. This is a must read.

Oh, to be a quarter life on Christmas: No toys. No fun. My tree once brimmed with every single action figure of the Thundercats series… now I get a sweater. Welcome to the world of the grown up. If you want to keep up your nerdy obsessions I hope you have a well paying job. Though the presents under my tree were few and far between, I did, however, receive a stocking stuffed with comic books – I wasn’t trying to weave a holiday themed segue into my article: my mom actually stuffed my stocking with comics. Gotta love the woman – and if this week’s showing is any indication of what we can expect this new year, then color me excited (with a big ol’ brush).

Hulk #9, Batman #683, The Umbrella Academy #2, The Spirit special #1, The New Avengers #48

“Consistently great”, is the simplest way to describe this series. The dialogue, the action, the satirical commentary; every month this title delivers. The slow, unfolding mystery of the Red Hulk is juxtaposed against the high action and comedic lunacy of the story telling.

If you haven’t been following this title (you’re lame) this issue wraps up the rumble in Las Vegas. Green Hulk vs Wendigos vs Sentry vs Ms. Marvel vs Moon Knight = a wrecked and ravaged sin city. Something unexpected happens to ol’ green genes. Don’t worry. I won’t spoil it. A mystical special guest has to come in and save the day. As much as I hate the quick-fix-mystical-being, they used a not-so-obvious Marvel shaman which, at the very least, worked on a comedic level.

The second half of Hulk #9 (yes, moe moe, there are two separate, but still intertwined, story threads running back to back) features the conclusion of “Rulk”‘s throw down with She Hulk and her “Lady Liberators”. Nice bit of action here and a surprise twist at the end. Clever writing and OMG! Frank Cho draws hot women. His depiction of Spider-Woman is especially crotch-spasm inducing.

Pick this book up already! ‘Nuff said.

Now it’s time for your monthly dose of crazy, quirky, irreverent, indie action. The dysfunctional band of super siblings try to get along with each other while searching for their man/boy (literally) missing brother Number 5. Number 5’s gun play at the end of last issue has everyone in town on high alert.

I got to say I really like this title. Gerard Way was able to create an eccentric, seemingly nonsensical world, that feels very real. The book sucks you in and you never question the absurdity. From talking monkeys to Girl-Scout-cookie-craving killers wearing giant cartoon masks, everything is played straight faced. And I’ll tell you what, I buy it… every month actually. The opening of Issue #2 is reason alone to pick up this book.

Once you get past the idea of a new Avengers team led by the, totally awesome, new Captain America you’re left with a rather poorly paced book.

The first quarter of the issue is bogged down by dialogue and slow moving action. The pace quickly picks up but then Bendis takes some serious leaps in time. The first quarter of the book takes place in Cap’s secret apartment, then the rest of book jumps all over time and place, montaging, what seems like, 3 days into 5 pages.

The last page will satisfy most readers but all in all the writing felt very lazy. Bendis seems to be relying on his broad strokes rather than delivering consistently intriguing single pages.

The art on the book is excellent. Tan has a dynamic style, in my opinion, amalgamating Michael Turner and Linel Yu’s artistic renderings.

This first issue wasn’t stellar but I still have faith in Bucky.

I have been pretty hard on Grant Morrison recently but I expect a lot from him. He’s one of my favorite writers. He reinvigorated my love for comics, back in high school, with his new JLA . I can’t just accept anything he writes as gold. I critique his work tougher than other writers because I know what he’s capable of. With all that said, I was very happy with issue #683.

The story was coherent, if repetitive, in delivering the Dark Knight’s current Final Crisis dilemma. Most of this story is easy to spoil so I strongly suggest you pick it up at retail. All I will say is that any Bat fan will have goose bumps by issues’ end.

They took Cap from me now it looks like Batman will be next… (sigh)

Jonathon London (who’s that guy?) gave me the heads up on this reprinting of some classic Spirit adventures. Though obvious hype for the film, this comic shares no resemblance, save the red tie and the names of the characters, to the awful Frank Miller motion picture.

There are four mini-serials in issue #1. To give you guys a little perspective this comic was written in the 40’s and you will be hard pressed to find distraction from it’s age.

After reading this ish I realize why Eisner has the top award in comics named after him. The Spirit is a concise, gritty, realistic piece of crime fiction. Yes, it harks back to a simpler time but there is an honesty to the book that rings timeless. The Spirit is a real person and not an over dramatized pulp hero. He wrestles with old demons and has to deal with the burdens of law enforcement. The camp that you would expect from the film is all but missing from the original work.

Anyone not interested in reading a comic book in it’s purest form need-not-apply. How can you appreciate where the medium is going if you don’t know where it started?

With that I conclude this week’s edition of Stack Attack!.

Until next week, remember you turn the page/you wash your hands. You turn the page/you wash your hands…

-Nick Gregorio

This week I took my money and threw it into a furnace. There were slim pickins on the shelves and I grabbed whatever books caught my eye. Only one of four comics I bought was any good – and it wasn’t even that good. Even now, as I write this introduction for Stack Attack, I can only seem to remember one of the books I read. So, strap in Geekscapist, as I try and whip together another titillating installment of STACK ATTACK!…enthused.

Spider-man: Noir #1

What if? The New Fantastic Four

Mighty Avengers #20

Dark Reign: New Nation

 

If blatant, unintelligent, poorly researched, “socially relevant”, liberal propaganda is your cup of Kool-aid then dive into this shallow snooze-fest. The tale, which spins at a snails pace, puts us in the middle of a 1930’s era, else-world, Marvel Universe. May Parker, Peter’s aunt, is a rallying socialist urging the poor people of New York to revolt against their rich, corrupt oppressors. Norman Osborn, “The Goblin”, runs NY with his money and influence. The reader follows Ben Urich, a Daily Bugle photo journalist who is caught in between the corrupt hierarchy and the poor revolutionaries. Peter is an inspired social reformist influenced by his aunt and, now deceased (Murdered by “The Goblin”), Uncle Ben.

The book paints a bleak picture in black and white; good and bad. The poor are down trodden, bullied martyrs. The rich are power hungry tyrants. There is a complete lack of middle ground. The writers would have you believe BenUrich rest some where in the middle but he obviously sympathizes with the poor. The story is slow and boring. I was slightly intrigued by the design of the character and the “Noir” in the title but I can’t sit through four issues of ham handed subtext.

If you still believe in lumping good guys into one category and bad guys into another and you think biased, one-sided social commentary is responsible story telling, give this rag a read.

If you aren’t familiar with the Infinity Gauntlet or The New Fantastic Four don’t bother buying this book because you will be scratching your head. If you are familiar with the aforementioned concepts don’t bother buying this book because it attempts to condense those story-lines unsuccessfully.

Buy this book for the art. It’s dynamic, fluid, and original. The only problem with Sherberger is that he gets a little sloppy in some panels – Come to think of it: just buy the book for the cover or, better yet, just look at the cover above.

I’m excited for Dark Avengers. Any team led by the new Cap is A’okay in my book. I picked up Mighty because it is the Epilogue for Secret Invasion and the precursor to Dark Avengers.

The Avengers mourn the death of The Wasp (Janet Van Dyne or Pym depending on who you ask) and Hank Pym must come to terms with the death of his wife and the idea of a Skrull Leader impersonating him. Pym ultimately blames the whole thing on Tony Stark. Tony has been the scape-goat lately. (Not to be a spoiler but expect Tony to redeem then martyr himself in the next year.) The story was a nice recap and gave some very iconic, snap-shot, stand alone images of the Marvel U. from the past couple of years.

The art was amazing. Pham nailed every panel. His condensed Marvel “snap-shots” should each be made into posters.

I give myself the Kirsten Dunst Cap of the week for buying this “comic book”. It’s a compilation of, the first five pages of, soon-to-be released Marvel titles. I payed four fucking bucks for this nonsense. I do blame myself for not flipping through it but come on! Don’t waste your time or your money. The new titles blow a big, fat, super sized, Skrull chin.

Oh thank Ares I made it through this week! I hope I didn’t scar anyone with my bitterness. I promise next week will be a helluva lot better… hopefully.

Until next time: Don’t buy comics this week – I’m kidding, but can someone please recommend some new titles for me? We’re in a recession for pete’s sake and I need the best bang for my buck!

-Nick Gregorio

The name of the game is fun. This weeks line-up is why i love comics. I had a blast reading every issue and, let me tell you, I had to restrain myself from buying more books. Sit tight for the run down of a rip roaring regiment of ridiculous conclusions, raucous rotting robots, random relaunches, riotous, rib-splitting humor, and Batman.

Batman #682, the Amazing Spider-man #579, Marvel Zombies 3 #3, Spawn #185: Endgame, Secret Invasion #8

Grant Morrison is on the long road to redemption and Batman #682 is a step in the right direction. Morrison found a way to condense years of Bat-lore into one, very strong, stand alone issue… or is it? What seems like a nostalgic run-down of Batman’s relationship with Alfred, DickGrayson, and his vocation (crime fighting) turns out to be something far more sinister.

A montage of events – akin to the opening of the departed – takes Batman to his current position in the DC universe. I don’t want to spoil this finish, but I will say this issue’s Finale leaves the Caped Crusader in Crisis.

I’ve been a little hard on the ol’ web-swinger as of late – maybe it’s my bitter, cynicism that won’t allow me to enjoy his playful nature – but this week we had fun together. It could have been the the eye-catching cover art, or the gorgeous interiors, or the fact that I was reading it on a Saturday morning, or, maybe even, MarkWaid’s writing, but, man, I really enjoyed this issue. It was classic – I know, jerk, I’ve faulted the series for being too classical – but something about this issue took me back to the days of the Spider-man cartoon. There was excitement, and action, and Peter using his wits when everyone else was panicking.

Martin’s art on this book is really something to see. Spider-man hasn’t looked this good – almost pure – in a long time.

I deem thee “The Week of Contradiction”. I was disappointed with Marvel Zombies 2. I was disappointed by issue #1 and most of issue #2 of Marvel Zombies 3. Issue #3 is awesome. Yes, the same Marvel Zombies problems are there, talking Zombies and camp out-the-wazoo, but you’re too damn entertained to care. Machine-man is a one-man-appliance of death. He has more moving parts than a RonPopeil invention. He slices. He dices. He melts zombies’ faces off with laser guns.

With all the ass-kicking going on this issue, Machine man shouldn’t have a problem saving the un-zombified Marvel U from outbreak… right?

Todd Mcfarlane is a dick. His toys look great but are as fun to play with as your great aunt’s porcelain clown collection. He hasn’t done anything in comics “for, like, ever”. He’s pompous and loves throwing his name on everything. He also bought MarkMcguire’s home-run ball. When I heard he was tackling Spawn again I thought, “McFarlane’s a dick.”

Some people have a special place in their hearts for 90’s comic books. They treasure the adventures they shared with Spawn, Violator, andMalbolgia , but, let’s face it people, nothing good has come from Spawn since the 1997 cinematic classic – they call that sarcasm. It’s hard to pick-up in print.

I gave Spawn: Endgame a chance. I wasn’t blown away. It was my least favorite book of the week. It did peak my interest. Portacio’s art is spot on. Not very much happens in this issue, but, there is a twist at the end that will leave most Spawn fans with a raised eyebrow. The great ToddMcfarlane digitally inked the book. I think that means he turned up the contrast in photoshop (ROUND OF APPLAUSE).

They did it. They did it. They did it. Yes, Dora, there is a Santa Clause… er.. definitive ending to Secret Invasion. Bendis and Yu pulled it off. They delivered on their big ticket, prize fight, throw down, cross over of the year. The series had a bit of a slow start, but this final issue capped everything off nicely.

My only gripe with this final issue is how cleanly everything was wrapped up. There was only one real casualty from the battle, after everything was said and done. The ending was a good twist and I really didn’t see it coming. Dark Reign, the follow up to Secret Invasion, is going to be an interesting and exciting series. Alex Maleev is coming on as artist and teaming up with his former Dare Devil pal, Brian Bendis.

This review could be spoiler laden but I’ll leave it up to you, the reader, to experience the drastic change in the Marvel U.

Until next time, geekscapists: Kiss a little longer. Laugh a little longer. Hold tight a little longer because you never know when the one you love ends up being aSkrull sleeper agent… or something like that.

-Nick Gregorio

New Comic Book Day (NCBD) has been pushed back due to the Thanksgiving holiday but I won’t let that stop me.  Your regularly scheduled Stack Attack will be dropping Saturday morning.  In the mean time get your eyeballs ready for a new segment I’m calling, “Stack Attack Throw Back.”

When there is a lapse in NCBD, expect a review/run-down on a classic or not-so classic trade paper back.  For all of the uninitiated, a trade paper back is more commonly referred to as a graphic novel. This is a misnomer.  A trade paperback merely compiles a run of a series — i.e. issues #5-#15 — that pertain to a specific story arc. We call them “trades” for short.

Recently I picked-up six trades at the Storm Watch Comic’s Black Friday Blow-out sale for only fifty four bucks.  This session of Throw Back we’re going to stroll down Marvel memory lane with:

Avengers Disassembled collecting issues #500-#503

Marvel Zombies 2

This seminal storyline marked the first time Marvel poster-boy Brian Michael Bendis tackled Marvel’s poster team, The Avengers.  This storyline would also mark the beginning of the end for our dearly departed Captain America.  At the time the original issues came out I was flat broke, so I had to read about the series via Wizard magazine – truth be told, I wasn’t the biggest Avengers fan.  I’ve always been more of a JLA kid.  But, show no concern Geekscapist, I beat the Avengers Arcade game for the Sega Genesis and in the Arcade and have always been a fan of the core team, just not the comics — Sorry for the minor digression.

The series opens on a random day in the life of an Avenger.  The gang: She-Hulk, Wasp, Hawkeye, and Ant-man, kick back around the kitchen table and talk about villains they would have sex with.  Hawkeye and Ant-man do most of the talking while the ladies play offended. Then, out of the blue, comes an Avengers Red Alert.  Jack of Hearts, a recently diseased team martyr, crypt-walks up to Avengers Mansion.  Ant-man rushes to his aid.  Too bad for Ant-man, ol’ Jack Hart is a walking time bomb. 

At this point, the pace for Avengers Disassembled has been set.  It’s a series of really bad events ranging from a drunk Tony Stark (Iron Man) Speech at the UN to a Kree invasion.  Bendis keeps a break neck speed for all four issues.  It’s an engrossing and entertaining tale.  At one point in the story Avengers old and new reunite to handle the menace.  The one problem I had with the story, and still have with most Marvel crossovers, is the inclusion of Dr. Strange.  One minute the sky is falling and then the next the good Doc shows up and solves every problem.  Dr. Strange has become a crutch for Marvel crossovers.  Strange whips out a spells, or the eye ofAgamotto, and BAM! the series gets wrapped up with a nice little bow on it. 

Spoiler Alert! (but you should definitely already know this) the puppet master causing all of this grief was none other than Scarlet Witch, a fellow Avenger.  The twist can be seen from a mile away but is effective none the less. The Scarlet Witch was so hurt by the loss of her fake kids – she used her mutant powers over magic and reality to fake make her self pregnant and she hurts everyone around her (why can’t she just make like Angelina Jolie and adopt?)

I definitely enjoyed this trade.  The art is dynamic.  Finch, the man on pencils, is a solid storyteller but all of the guys he draws look like Brad Pitt (not that that’s a bad thing).  If you haven’t picked this bad boy up in some way shape or form, I suggest you do.

Hardcover graphic novels are nice if you like to be completely uncomfortable while reading your comics.  Unless you have a reading desk (circa 1800) you will get a mean case of carpal-tunnel.  Then your hands will look like gnarled zombie hands.  See what I did there? 

“You have to read Marvel Zombies!”  That’s what I heard all over the Internet and Wizard magazine.  Personally, I avoided the series, due to it’s campy nature, like… well… a zombie attack (that’s twice with the clever zombie references…okay, maybe not so clever…but points for reference!)  The idea of a zombie outbreak in the Marvel U didn’t excite me at first. Then, one day I was at Atomic comics on South street, Philly.  I had a little extra Robert Dinero in my pocket and decided to give Marvel Zombies 3 a try.  Big mistake.

I heard so many good things about the original.  I figured I was just out of the loop so I decided to pick up “the best in the series”, Marvel Zombies 2 aaaaaaand Boring.  Capital “B”. Bolded. The series is slow and cheesy.  The Black Panther was the leader of the human beings still left on Earth and the former Marvel heroes were zombified, endowed with the power cosmic (they ate the Silver Surfer), and were ripping through the galaxy eating everything in sight.  Reading that last sentence makes the comic actually sound interesting. Don’t be fooled, fool. 

The Marvel Zombies, after devouring the galaxy (It only took them 40 years – WTF?), decide to head back to Earth.  T’Challa, the Black Panther, is losing control of the humans.  He eventually gets turned into a zombie, and then we find out that “the hunger” can be controlled.  We know the hunger can be controlled because THE FUCKING ZOMBIES TALK!  They laugh! They joke!  They retain almost all of their logical mind!  That is not a zombie.

The big show-down between T’Challa and the Marvel Zombies is alright.  I’ve read better fight scenes in comics.  The fight ends when – get this – the Marvel Zombies lose the hunger.  All I could do was shake my head.  The Marvel Zombies have eaten everyone and everything in the known Universe and then suddenly they aren’t hungry any more.  They want to help rebuild humanity.  My mind was blown.

The art is decent.  The story is ridiculous.  Now I’m stuck buying the rest of Marvel Zombies 3 because I am a bit of a completist. Kirkman deserves a cease and desist from George A. Romero.  I do suggest you buy this book because, like a zombie attack, misery loves company.

That’s it for Stack Attack Throwback and don’t forget this week’s New Comics will be reviewed on Saturday.

Until next tme, I’ll be devouring your flesh and then joking around about it.

-Nick Gregorio

A feast of double-staple-bound, sequential art lays before me. It’s Thanksgiving and, to be as cliched as possible, I am thankful for comic books. Lame. But this week’s line-up delivers in a big way.

The Umbrella Academy #1 vol.2

Superman #682

Hulk #8

Batman #681 – the conclusion of RIP

The Umbrella Academy #1 Vol.2

Gerard Way — Words

Gabriel Ba — Art

Let’s get the ball rolling on a semi-Indy book: The Umbrella Academy. I hadn’t read any of the previous UA titles but I figured #1 vol. 2 would at least be a fresh start. UA opens up with a well paced run down of the who, what, why, where, and how of the series. Enough back story was given that I felt adequately brought up to speed. It’s the story of a scientist who puts together a wack-tastic super team of kids. The book, after giving you the back story (via narrative thought bubbles of the now dead scientist), opens up some time in the future. The kids, now adults, have all split up. Their final battle pitted them against one of their own siblings (as seen in Umbrella Academy vol. 1 – Ed.).

UA is reminiscent of about fifteen different properties but stays original enough that it doesn’t feel like it’s copying. The art and character design is a mash up of Dexter’s laboratory or the Original Clone Wars cartoon mixed with Mike Mignola. The action is well paced and the writing is solid. The closing fight scene is pretty dang awesome as well. I liked this first issue enough to possibly pick up the trade of vol.1.

What happens when you save the last bastion of humanity from the dead planet of Krypton? It acts a super powered, totalitarian fool. Kandor, the bottled city of Krypton, is unleashed and there is one huge problem: There is a whole city of Supermen making their own rules. Geof Johns has established a truly engaging world for the once super-boring Superman and Robinson’s writing is excellent. He’s taken what could have become a corny golden age romp and turned it into a life or death ticking time bomb. For the first time in a long time I don’t know if Superman can win, help, or find a way to make peace. Pick this title up and if you haven’t been reading Action Comics you best grab the last 7 of them as well.

Hulk #8

Jeph Loeb — Words

Art Adams and Frank Cho — Art

Joe Fixxit busting heads in Las Vegas! I just wet my pants. Wendigos, Moonknight, Ms. Marvel and The Sentry causing massive amounts of property damage! This is the Hulk. The whole duality-of-man-bit is neat but I love senseless Hulk outs. I love big, pop corn fight scenes. I love random Hulk team-ups — oh, and uber dynamic Art Adams art. The first half of issue number 8 is sick and delivers on that action packed, summer blockbuster level.

Sad to say the second half of issue #8 can’t keep up the pace. No, in fact it exceeds it. Red Hulk is the motherfarkin’ shit. He’s mean. He’s calculating. He made Thor look like a chump. He’s my hero.

She Hulk, looking for some pay back, gets her girlie’s together and they plan on taking out the “Rulk”. Too bad for them he considers the fight foreplay.

Man, what could make this book any better? Oh, I don’t know?… maybe She Hulk and her Lady Liberators drawn by Frank Cho. Thank the full figured, curvaceous “God of nerds who can draw women hot.” 

Batman #681

Grant Morrison — Words

Tony Daniel — Art

Zur En Arrh!  Finally this head scratcher comes to a riveting finish… sorta.  We were promised the demise and restructuring of Batman.  We were promised one of the most inventive and original Bat stories ever.  We were promised a new direction.  Instead we got a cadre of unidentifiable villains.  Instead we got the Batman of Zur En Arrh.  Instead we got a bunch of twist and turns that confused more than they intrigued. 

Batman RIP was just another Bat story.  It wasn’t bad.  It wasn’t good.  Just another adventure.  This final issue tied everything together and it did it as simply and conveniently as possible.  The Black Hand weren’t very menacing.  The Joker had to be brought in to ad some stakes.  Jezzibell Jet was a joke. 

Batman Zur En Arrh (SPOILER ALERT), who’s origins in comic book history stem from the golden age, was a back-up mind state created by Wayne in case he was psychologically attacked.  What?  Are you kidding me?  That nonsense red, yellow, and purple Batman was some kind of defense mechanism? I guess that’s clever. 

The story as a whole was a convoluted mess.  Morrison wasn’t developing twists and turns. He was simply omitting comprehensible pieces of the story.  Most readers were lost and rightfully so: how can you solve the mystery when you don’t know what mystery to solve? 

I’m sorry, but this leaves Batman right where he was.  Robin’s still Robin.  Nightwing’s still Nightwing.  Things were shaken up but nothing Batfans aren’t used to.  This issue judged alone works really well and it did save this story arc.  Batman crawled his way out of a shallow grave (literally) and saved the day.  I had such high hopes for Morrison’s run and I’ve just been disappointed.  The RIP arc overall only tarnished Grant Morrison’s reputation in my eyes.

I can’t give a pick of the week because there were too many strong titles.  Sorry for leaving out Captain America. I read that in trade because I was too far behind.  I’m sure it ruled so buy that rag too.  The new JLA, penned by Robinson and drawn/colored by this new Argentinian artist, looks very interesting.  The team is led by Green Lantern.  They also have a giant gorilla and Batwoman. 

Until next week;  I’ll be burying myself alive, in my bat suit, and trying to escape.

-Nick Gregorio

As a Geekscape loyalist you are probably asking yourself, “Nick Gregorio what gives you the right to review comic books?” Allow me to present my resume: I have been buying comics since before I could read — Justice League of America (Bowl-Cut Guy Gardener). I own thousands of bagged and boarded comics. I own hundreds of Marvel/DC action figures, statues, models, and Hero Clix. You can find me at Hall of Heroes every Wednesday. You can find me at Wizard World Philadelphia every Spring. I wear a multitude of comic book themed t-shirts and hoodies. I have created not one but two custom, black and gray, comic book accurate, Batsuits. I rest my case.

Each week I’ll be reviewing the four to five comic books I read. I spend roughly $20.00 a week, so I figure that is about average for most readers. If you would like me to review a comic not in my weekly line-up feel free to ship me an issue.

This week’s offering is a very traditional, tights wearing collection:  

Robin #180

The Amazing Spider-man #578

Batman Cacophony

Avengers/Invaders #6.

Robin #180 

Fabian Nicieza — Words

This issues was completely overloaded with thought bubbles. I hate thought bubbles. Comic books are a visual medium. If someone is shooting a rocket propelled grenade at you we as the reader can obviously see that. I have to imagine Nicieza is trying to treat Robin as the DC equivalent to the Ultimate/Younger Spider-man. You know the tale: Teenager with a lot of responsibilities, taking on villains and high school at the same time. We need to know what this poor soul is experiencing internally because teenagers are so full of emotion and insight. Spoiler alert! The Red Robin, who almost took out Jason Todd (though inept he’s still deadly), turns out to be… uh… The General? Wow that matters. Thankfully Robin tells us exactly who he is — “Ulysses Hadrian Armstrong” — because unless you’re well versed in Robin lore you only know him as the lame-o pestering Spoiler. I really tried to get into this story arc but it’s just far too boring. There’s a good amount of moving parts the only problem is none of them are exciting. The one saving grace of the book is the art. Williams delivers some very dynamic panels. The fight between Robin and Red Robin looked awesome though Robin’s thought bubbles totally degraded it. I also don’t buy Robin dodging a point blank gun shot (Spider Sense?). Last time I checked he and Batman were still “guys who go to the gym a lot”. Thankfully Robin walks into an obvious trap and dies at the end. Oh, sorry, Spoiler Alert!.

I hate to be the barer of bad news but: Hawkeye isn’t cool, Batman can’t beat Superman in a fight, and Spider-man is thirty something years old. Why-oh-why is Spider-man still written like he’s a bumbling high school kid? He’s battled deadly foes. He’s experienced great loss. Can we please have the guy be a bit less goofy?

The cover of Issue #578 looks amazing. The bottom heavy composition evokes that buried alive, claustrophobic anxiety. The cover also tells us that this issue Spidey will be saving civilians. Waid opens with your typical Spidey, ironic foreshadowing in the form of a fortune cookie, “Today will be your lucky day”. Here’s the quick and dirty. Parker just makes it onto a subway car. For the thousandth time he awkwardly handles a romantic situation. The subway car gets attacked by The Shocker (minds out of the gutter people). The concrete above is giving way to the river. Perilous. Spidey saves the day or does he? The art is amazing. Original, fresh, and almost Norman Rockwellesque in it’s timelessness. I would recommend this book on the art alone. Issue #577 was way better. A tryst with the Punisher, how could you go wrong?

I had no clue the Joker could be propositioned for anal sex. Why so serious? I know I’m a week late on this one but some how I walked right by it on the shelf. I think it was worth the wait. I’m not a huge Heavy Kevie fan but I do enjoy his films. I think he is a great comic book writer. The guy (whether he finishes his work or not) has a way with super heroes. His run on DD and Green Arrow completely reinvigorated the characters. Where his overly wordy banter hurts his films I think it has the opposite effect on his comics. I’m still not a fan of his use of thought bubbles but at least what is written provides some level of entertainment.

Deadshot is hired to kill the, overly and surprisingly perverse, Joker. Merkin anyone? Deadshot gets taken out and the Joker is rescued by Onomatopoeia; who has the dumbest name in recent comic book history but looks pretty dang neat. Batman stops Zsasz (who’s name is a palindrome but has no relation to onomatopoeia) from murdering some kids but is too late to save the parents. The Bats is informed that the Joker has escaped yet again. Maxie Zeus has bootlegged the Jokers Venom and turned it into a designer drug. If I were a D list villain I don’t think I’d ever give the Joker a reason to be mad at me.

Smith gives an excellent portrayal of the Dark Knight. His Joker was a bit much but I do like when writers and artist throw their own twist on a character. The art is passable but nothing to write home about. The art doesn’t distract from the story though. I recommend this whole heatedly and for anyone worried that Smith won’t deliver the remaining two issues, have no fear, DC made him finish writing the mini-series before they released issue number one.

Avengers/Invaders has become my favorite title of the year. It takes a concept — The Invaders of WWII: Captain America, Bucky, Namor, The Human Torch (orignal robot), and Toro (kid human torch/mutant) time traveling to the current Marvel U — that at face value is a bit hokie but upon closer inspection is a very human story.

This series has given us the confrontation of WWII Bucky and Current Cap, a young Namor beating up his current incarnation, a robot revolution led by the Human Torch, and the first mutant, Toro. Not to mention another show down between Cap and Iron Man. This is a classic Marvel cross over told in riveting fashion and it puts Secret Invasion to shame. It asks the question: What happens when you get to see the world you fought so hard to protect ultimately ruined by your actions?

Issue number six exemplifies the positive aspects of this mini. You have the Human Torch basically wreck The Mighty Avengers only to be duped by the robots he tried to liberate. But it’s the end of the issue that really got me. Thomas “Toro” Raymond, The Kid Torch, finds his grave. A young man confronts his own death. No matter what powers he has and no matter how powerful his friends it’s not enough to keep him alive. I strongly recommend this mini-series. If you haven’t been keeping up I suggest you wait for the trade.

I hope you found my reviews interesting and at the very least entertaining. Comic books are a great medium and I hope geeks the world over rally to support the struggling industry.

Until next week keep your merkins fastened tightly,

Nick Gregorio