I have over 1,200 DVDs, 3,000 CDs and a couple hundred books; over half of them the average person would be completely embarrassed to own. I, however, defend my purchases.

EPISODE 3: CAMPFIRE TALES

 

I used to be terrified of horror movies. I admittedly hadn’t watched them at the time, I was terrified to watch them. I was literally scared of being scared. It may have been because when I was a kid the ending of Who Framed Roger Rabbit (when I killed your brother I talked JUST LIKE THIS!?) gave me nightmares for weeks, and I got this crazy idea I didn’t enjoy being scared. What made all of this more complicated was that Halloween was ALWAYS my favorite holiday.

All of this changed in the summer of 1996 when in the same week I rented The Frightners (Michael J Fox was my favorite actor in those days) and my cousin made me watch Scream. I immediately became a gore/horror fan and stared to actively track down more horror. I found some websites like badmovies.org and video graveyard to provided me good suggestions and reviews. One title on Video Graveyard seemed really interesting to me despite its average 2 ½ star rating, that movie was Campfire Tales. For a long time this was my favorite movie ever. Admittedly it’s no longer my favorite movie, but I still love it.

Campfire Tales is an Anthology film in the vein of Creepshow, however I feel the stories are presented in the best possible way an anthology film could pick; people telling stories around a fire. It’s almost like “Are you Afraid of the Dark” the movie. In 90 minutes you get 4 short stories as well as a wrap around story. Our wrap around story involves a group of friends coming home from a concert (including Christine Taylor) when they veer off the road and crash the van. They set up some flares and while waiting for help to arrive they sit around a campfire telling classic scary stories. Unlike things like Creepshow and Creepshow 2 where the stories were originals or based on EC Comics and/or Stephen King shorts, they do classic campfire tales that are part of the public consiousness.

The First story tells of a group of teens in the 50’s (James Marsden & Amy Smart) convinced that an escaped convict with a hook for a hand is outside their car. The following story is about a couple on their honeymoon (with Office Space‘s Ron Livingston) whose RV gets terrorized. The 3rd story is the most impressive and legit terrifying titled “People Can Lick Too” about a child predator stalking a young girl as she stays home alone. The Final segment is called The Locket, which I remember reading in elementary school in the “Scary Stories” book series which fucked me up for months.

Is the acting good? Not really. Are the twists predictable? Absolutely, these are classic stories that I’ve heard since we were eight, but damn it, it’s fun not to mention well shot. The Movie definitely looks good. The film looks like they had fun making the movie which is something I’ve always enjoyed seeing. It’s the reason why I can enjoy movies like Can’t Hardly Wait and Empire Records. Shit movies? Yeah pretty much. But you can tell that it was a blast making those movies.

What it comes down to is this. You obviously can’t watch direct to DVD movies (specifically horror movies) and expect to be getting John Carpenter’s Halloween. In fact most of the time you get the worst of the worst; to get a mildly creative and entertaining film like this is a rare find in it’s own right.

Be warned, there is a movie called Campfire Stories from 1991 that’s a pile of shit. Don’t netflix/buy that by mistake and bitch to me. But if you enjoyed films like Creepshow 1 and 2 and even Tales from the Hood; this is movie is right up your alley.

I have over 1,200 DVDs, 3,000 CDs and a couple hundred books; over half of them the average person would be completely embarrassed to own. I, however, defend my purchases.

 

NINE MONTHS

 

 


I don’t know why I used to love this movie when I was a kid, but I fucking loved the shit out of this movie circa 1996. When I was kid it was a frequent occurrence in the Kelly household to either payperview movies and record them on the VCR or hook up two VCRs and make copies of every movie we rented from Blockbuster. Yes I’m admitting to the 90’s version of pirating movies. My cousins, siblings and I watched Nine Months constantly. So when a few weeks ago I found it in a five dollar bin; I knew I had to buy it.

  Nine Months was released in 1995. It was a remake of the 1994 foreign film Neuf mois. The remake is written and directed by Chris Columbus (the director not the Italian Explorer), and served as Hugh Grants first American leading role. Through the moderate success of this film Grant went on to have a wonderful career as America’s favorite Charming British Stereotype (so charming that his public arrest with a prostitute barely fazed his career).

  Nine Months follows Samuel (Grant) and Rebecca (Julianne Moore). Rebecca begins to have baby fever shortly after their five-year anniversary. Rebecca soon drops a bomb on Samuel; she’s pregnant. The film follows them through her Nine Months of pregnancy with a delightful cast of eccentric supporting characters including the anti-children best friend Sean (Jeff Goldbum), the baby making machines Marty & Gail Dwyer (Tom Arnold; Joan Cusack) and the Russian Obstetrician & Gynecologist (Robin Williams). Samuel must face his issues with children in order to save his relationship with Rebecca.

Nine Months is far from a perfect film. It currently holds 25% freshness on rotten tomatoes (the only film in Grant’s career with a lower freshness rating is 2009’s Did You Hear About the Morgans; which sounds like the title of a Tyler Perry movie). So let’s start with some of the problems with the movie. For starters, every “problem” in the movie is resolved in roughly 10 minutes of screen time. It’s an extremely predictable film (I mean that as more predictable than most predictable movies) and finally it contains a cliché Man fighting a Barney look-a-like scene that appeared in multiple mid-90’s films and TV shows. Nine Months is Knocked Up without the conflict.

  What Nine Months does provide us with Tom Arnold at his funniest (hardly a selling point but whatever), and incredible performance from Robin Williams and Hugh Grant at his most charming. Many of the reviews refer to the movie as “extremely forgettable” but I was shocked while rewatching it over a decade later how much of the movie I remembered. I don’t doubt that this movie 15 years later still continues to be a great date flick and probably has gotten more guys laid than most of the movies in your DVD collection (assuming you’re the average Geekscapist).

  Cliché, predictable and at times forced; Nine Months is still funny (though dated) and delightful. I’ve seen a lot of romantic comedies and while this isn’t in my top 10; it’s far from my bottom 10 (I’m looking your direction Must Love Dogs and Because I said So).

Warning: Video contains updated 80’s music with cursing and ghost logo with hand drawn boobies. Please leave your maturity at the door. If it was anybody else we’d ignore it, but when Geekscapist Axel Braun does a parody, we have to see how close he gets to the source material. This trailer looks like he squeezed every detail from the original Ghostbusters. Sadly, I think this takes the wind out of the sails of the Akroyd “ghost-job” joke scene. Also for the geekscapists, our pal Evan Stone is playing Venkman and you can’t tell me Ron Jeremy doesn’t look like William Bibbiani from behind in the opening of this trailer. Axel Braun is proving once again he can get anyone to pay for his expensive and geeky fan films, as long as he includes fucking, and that is awesome.

Editors Note: Walton missed a major Geekscape detail! The Ernie Hudson character of Winston Zeddmore is played in this version by former Geekscape guest co-host Tee Reel (aka Jason Toler, director of Half Moon)! Ghosts? Werewolves? Sign him up for the next Twilight! Vampires have nothing on Jason!


A week ago I found myself re-reading Chuck Klosterman’s debut book Fargo Rock City while on my lunch break at work. While Klosterman has been my favorite author since I first started to enjoy reading FRC was one of the last of his books I read. I didn’t get two shits about Glam Rock and most Heavy Metal and felt like the book probably wouldn’t be for me. How wrong I was! While I still don’t care much for most of the music of Motely Crue or KISS, I could relate to Klosterman’s obsession with stuff that is mostly “uncool”. As I drove home I was singing along with the Bloodhound Gang’s “Hooray for Boobies” album and couldn’t help but think “Chuck, there are far worse things to like than Motley Crue that harms your ‘self-proclaimed pop culture expert’ title” In one chapter Chuck provides a definition of the term “Guilty Pleasure” as stated by his friend Pat. The definition was “Guilty Pleasures are things you pretend to like Ironically, but actually like for real”

Perhaps that’s what this column is about. I’m defending the albums and movies in my collection that I pretend to only like because they’re “so bad that they’re good”, but in reality they’re legitimate albums or movies that I put on when no one’s around and have a blast consuming. Most people would hate these films and CDs; but I’m that one guy who truly loves them.

UGLY KID JOE: AMERICA’S LEAST WANTED


 

Ugly Kid Joe: America’s Least Wanted was the first and only album I bought solely based on the album cover. I knew nothing about this band (I didn’t even know what genre they were but I had a decent guess) but the juvenile MAD & Cracked Magazine influenced album cover had me sold. Based on how much I sincerely love this album, I should purchase more CDs this way.

Ugly Kid Joe is a Heavy-Metal/Hair Metal band from the early 90’s that came out way too late to really make an impression on anyone. Throughout the 300 pages of Chuck Klosterman’s Fargo Rock City the band is mentioned ONCE and only in reference to a friend mistaking Nirvana for them. But when I heard the opening notes to the opening track Neighbor I was hooked.

What’s ironic about my complete love of this album is that at the time I’d never liked Heavy Metal and still don’t. In fact it ranks just above “CrunkCore” and “Modern Country” as my least favorite genre of music. Regardless of all this when lead vocalist Whitfield Crane sneers “It’s a beautiful day in the Neighborhood and I hope I didn’t ruin your day/ Won’t you be My Neighbor”, I get an uncontrollable feeling of joy.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly know if Ugly Kid Joe is sincere or satire, but I don’t think they do either. That’s what makes them such a great band. Take for example their biggest hit song Everything About You. The song features guest vocals by SNL-Alumn Julia Sweeney and contains lyrics like “I don’t really care about your sister/Forget the little bitch cause I already kissed her”. The song is clearly a joke song (as well as the greatest anti-love song ever written) but songs like Busy Bee or Come Tomorrow are far to sincere to be a joke. Their cover of Cats in the Cradle is the best recorded version of that song ever (including the Harry Chaplin original which is so slow and drawn out that it outstays its welcome about half-way through) and the closing track Mr. Recordman is the most honest song about the music industry ever produced by a Heavy Metal band.

But Ugly Kid Joe wasn’t about changing the recording practices, they instead wanted to inform us that they were in fact the Goddamn Devil and bring the growing homeless problem to our attention (Panhandlin’ Prince).

The follow-up album Menace to Sobriety was critically praised but barely cracked the US Billboard Top 200 (peaking at 178). Ugly Kid Joe disappeared with an independently released 3rd album that no body bought (including me) and then silently broke up. Somehow despite only having 3 albums and 2 hit singles, the band managed to release not one but two greatest hits albums.

As of last year the band has reunited and started touring again, a fact that doesn’t seem to interest anyone (including me who ranks their debut as one of his top 20 favorite albums ever made). What makes America’s Least Wanted so enjoyable is that everything is sincere on it. Be it a serious song or a Joke-y song, it’s sincere. It was written and recorded by a bunch of guys in their mid-20’s just having fun writing music and probably extremely exciting to be given to chance to tour with Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne and Scatterbrain all who were obvious influence to anyone listens to even five minutes of the album (Scatterbrain probably the biggest influence).

People will continue to shit on 90’s alternative and as Chuck Klosterman outlined in Fargo Rock City, the general public didn’t think highly of heavy metal either. Ugly Kid Joe presented you the best of both horribly disliked worlds and the final result is pure nostalgic bliss.

Geek porn parody auteur Axel Braun has told Geekscape that he will be continuing his epic quest to catalog the porn conquests of your favorite superheroes this summer with filming of Avengers XXX and Fantastic Four XXX shooting in June for Vivid after Star Wars XXX wraps. Braun is ready to delve deep into his geek knowledge by setting up the Fantastic Four against Diablo as the villain. Diablo is an evil master of Alchemy in the comics. 

In Avengers XXX Braun has some very specific ideas for the look of the team. While the recent movie version of Thor was a smash hit, Braun is staying true to the comics with his vision of the Thunder God. His Thor in Avengers XXX will be modeled after Jack Kirby’s design and feature the human alter ego of Donald Blake. Looking to July, Axel has his sites set on Marvel’s Merry band of Mutants and unlike a certain Fox franchise, Braun has vowed not to cop out on the costumes. He has told us the team in X-men XXX will feature the classic X-men costumes in yellow, black and blue, and Wolverine will have a full mask.

Here is a sneak preview of Dave’s new book Kill the Wonderhawks that we teased on Friday.

As most record labels prepared limited edition vinyl releases in celebration of Record Store Day last month, Paper + Plastick Records has been preparing a series of webcomics for fans to download for FREE starting today at midnight in celebration of Free Comic Book Day on Saturday, May 7th. Fans will be able to download the first issue of the 50 STATES series through the Paper + Plastick webstore, with first issues of Kill The Wonderhawks and Exit Interview to be released later this month. 


“Comics are something that I grew up with. They were the original things that I collected,” admits Paper + Plastick founder Vinnie Fiorello. “Later it turned to collecting records. There are artists like Ashley Wood that I continue to buy everything he is involved with.”


Paper + Plastick’s focus since beginning in 2009 was to bring the visual aspect back to music by releasing not only quality music, but pairing it with collectible records (etched b-sides, various shapes and colors, etc.) and stunning artwork. Having released a number of prints, over 60 records and a book of his own, Fiorello says “The idea of releasing comics wasn’t an original intent when starting the label, but releasing prints and books were. After becoming friends with comic writer/editorMatt Anderson it became a natural progression from stories I was writing personally for graphic novels to actually wanting to release other peoples, as well as my own. I see it as a natural progression in the label but I also see it as a brand new opportunity to do something I’ve never done before, by being a creator as well as a publisher of comics.”


50 States, the first of the three comics, tells the stories of different touring bands, with the first issue naturally being about Fiorello’s band Less Than Jake. “The Less Than Jake story is true,” he says. “We are trying to get away from the typical tour story you’d hear- we have been in touch with about a dozen bands, and picking the stories on the depth they have.” Artist Matt Jordan and script writer Matt Anderson worked on the first issue 50 States – while artist Aaron Pittman and writer Dave Losso (The Great Sandwich Detective) created the world-renowned team of Anti-heroes known as Kill The Wonderhawks, and will release the first issue later this month. The third new webcomic series Exit Interview, written by Matt Anderson and art by Brian Mead, is “a coming of age story set in a Twilight Zone-like world” and will be available this month.


Much in the vein of previous Paper + Plastick releases, the comics will be available for free download with a physical component to be published when the particular series wraps. “One issue a month is the goal for each of the three titles. We are starting with then when the stories wrap up we will be printing physical copies in graphic novel formats. Mind you this is all brand new so there will be plenty of surprises along they way and are expected,” comments Fiorello.

It’s May, Osama is Dead, let’s just talk DVDs and Blu-Rays and not get all political guys, Jesus.

May 3rd
So since I’m lazy and this is going up a few days late. May 3rd has already happened, but incase you didn’t go out and buy anything yet just know that you’re not missing much. Green Hornet and The Dilemma are coming to DVD and Blu-ray. Both were pretty lackluster (to me anyway). On blu-ray What Dreams May Come is out, which while I didn’t like the movie, I can only imagine how beautiful it will look in high definition. Penn and Teller’s Bullshit (one of the best shows on TV) is out on DVD but the pick of the week is season five of Boy Meets World which features such classic episodes as the one with Sabrina the teenage witch and the meta-episode “Kid Gets Acquainted with the Universe”.

 

May 10th

In the world of new DVD/Blu-Ray Academy favorites Blue Valentine and The Illusionist are out, meanwhile No Strings Attached is also out. While the movie didn’t do well at the box office, I found it shockingly entertaining. On DVD we finally have the Home Improvement box set (which can be purchased in a giant House display). Meanwhile the Alien series is all on blu-ray, but more importantly Top Gun is out on blu-ray and my pick of the week Some Like It Hot, AFI’s pick for the funniest movie ever made and I put it in the top 10 easily. If you haven’t seen it, you definitely should.

May 13th

JUSTIN BIEBER NEVER SAY NEVER ON BLU-RAY AND DVD! WOOOHOOO DON’T STOP BELIEBING! EVER!

 

 

 

May 17th

What can you expect to see on blu-ray and DVD? Well in the realm of “new movies” you have The Mechanic, The Rite, The Other Woman, The Roommate (which seems to be a remake of Single White Female), Thor: tales of Asgard, Deep Red and Diabolique. Just available on Blu-ray is Beverly Hills Cop is getting an unnecessary High Def treatment. But the Pick of the week (as it’s been every time one of these seasons comes out) is Twilight Zone season 4 on blu-ray. Be warned this is the worst season of Twilight Zone, but the worst of Sterling is still better than the best of The Roommate (I’m assuming).

May 24th

Thank god Gnomeo and Juliet and I Am Number Four are finally on Blu-Ray and DVD, I can sleep again peacefully. On blu-ray you can look forward to Solaris (the original), Platoon, Tigerland, Gods and Generals as well as Gettysburg, apparently it’s a big day for blu-ray war movies (and one super long boring sci-fi film). On DVD we’re getting Children’s Hospital (which I haven’t seen but heard great things) but the pick of the week is Charlie Chaplin’s controversial classic The Great Dictator available on both blu-ray and DVD

 

May 31st

True Blood Season 3 and Drive Angry (on Blu-Ray 3D) as well as Biutiful will be hitting stores in both blu-ray and DVD. The Stanley Kubrick collection is coming to blu-ray as well as individual blu-ray releases of A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon and Lolita. The blu-ray release of Geekscape Movie Club pick Legend hits shelves today as well as Season 5 of Psych is coming to DVD. The pick of the week though is George Lucas’ American Graffiti (hopefully not with additional CGI creatures he always wanted in there).

In Episode 8 of The Saint Mort Show we are being reviewed by Professor Comedy. Regardless of his interruptions and notes I power through and interview Greatest Movie Ever! host Paul Chapman, Mitch Donaberger (Simpsons Expert) and as a Mother’s Day treat my Mom Donna Kelly

Well, Another Month, another group of outrageous DVD releases. But enough of my nonsense chitchat lets get right to it.

April 5th – This Tuesday is a good day for someone owning a blu-ray. You get everything from Oscar Nominated films like People vs. Larry Flynt and Taxi Driver, Musicals like Fiddler on the Roof, Sci-fi classics like Tron & A.I. Artificial Intelligence and quirky comedies like Lars and the Real Girl and Jawbreaker. However the pick of the month would be getting the blu-ray release of Benny & Joon. Johnny Depp stars as Sam, a bizarre slapstick comedy fan who falls in love with the mentally unbalanced Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson). When Joon’s brother Benny wins Sam’s custody in a poker game he is forced to deal with the quirky new roommate as well as keep him away from his sister. The movie is admittedly a little strange and sometimes too bizarre; but Johnny Depp performs note for note perfection renditions of classic Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton routines that make it worth multiple views.

April 12th – This week is a little weak; this is possibly because on April 8th the 3rd Chronicles of Narnia movie is getting released and on April 15th Harry Potter And the Deathly Hollows Part 1 will hit DVD/Blu Ray. The only things worth noting is that H.R. PufNstuf is coming to DVD and more importantly Pixar’s greatest achievement The Incredibles will finally hit blu-ray. Jonathan London has said multiple times on the podcast that this film is the best Fantastic Four movie we’ll ever get.

April 18th – On DVD/Blu-Ray you got some Oscar nominated films like Rabbit Hole (was that nominated? All I remember about the Oscars was James Franco being stoned) and The King’s Speech. Disney is opening the vault once again with Bambi so you should probably “invest” in that by reselling it on eBay for $70 when Disney closes the vault once again. If you’re in a mood to just throw money in the trash you can purchase Glee: Encore on DVD and Blu-Ray (which is literally just a collection of performances from Glee; that being said, since there’s no story line, it might make it the best Glee Related purchase you could ever make). On Blu-Ray we’re getting Short Circuit 2 (which somehow I think is the only short circuit movie I ever saw) but the picks of the week are Mortal Kombat & Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Why? Why the fuck not. These movies are complete garbage. But still, they’re a blast to watch with friends.

I’d also like to point out that I can’t find any information on these movies but reportedly films titled Worst Horror Movie Ever Made, Stripperland! and Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies are getting DVD releases this week as well

April 26th – Such cult classics as El Topo and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas are getting blu-ray releases. But the Pick of the week is easily Dinoshark. Why? Well.. let’s let the amazon.com product description do that job for me:

It was frozen in glacial ice over 150 million years ago. Global warming has just hatched it in the Arctic. And now, it has traveled to Puerto Vallarta for a massive Mexican buffet of sailors, swimmers, lifeguards, jet skiers, horny tourists, bikini babes and more. It thrives in warm water. Bullets will not pierce its prehistoric armor. And it can leap out of the ocean to devour helicopters and parasailers. Can a rogue fishing boat captain and a sexy science teacher stop this ravenous pliosaur before it takes a monster bite out of the local fiesta and all-girl water polo tournament? Eric Balfour and Iva Hasperger star, along with award-winning B-movie producer Roger Corman himself; in the top-rated Syfy sensation about the blood-crazed primeval mutation called Dinoshark

Fuck yes! This sounds like the best movie since Shark Attack 3!

My mother’s pretty upset with my foul language on this show. So we present you the first ever G rated episode with all DMX censored swears. Guests include: Conrad Tolosa (Ghoti Hook, Decapolis.com) and Chris Pierdomenico (Philagape Productions, Numa Network).

 

Sunday was the Oscars and now March is full with all types of Oscar nominees among other things. Let’s dive right into the thick of it.

March 1st

Oscar hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco both have movies coming out on DVD/Blu-Ray this week with 127 Hours and Love and Other Drugs. Meanwhile Burlesque is coming to DVD/Blu-Ray as well. For those who don’t know Burlesque is the musical that was so bad that it didn’t even get a best song nomination this year. The Pirates of the Carribean Trilogy is coming to blu-ray as well as George Clooney’s Out of Sight but the pick this week is Bambi on Blu-Ray and DVD since Disney likes to close those Vault Doors as quickly as they open them.

March 8th 

Best Documentary winner Inside Job is coming out this week along with Jackass 3D and the first season of Walking Dead. Daniel Tosh’s Happy Thoughts will be out 2 days after its Comedy Central Premiere, Hannah Montana season 4 is getting a DVD release (FINALLY) as well as the blu-ray releases of Exit Through the Gift Shop and The Dorm That Dripped Blood. However the Pick of the week is Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XX on DVD featuring Project Moonbase, Master Ninja 1 and 2 and the Magic Voyage of Sinbad.

March 15th 

Oscar Nominated films The Fighter and Hereafter get a blu-ray/DVD release as well as the Oscar Snubs like The Switch and Sharktopus. But the pick of the week is easily the Blu-Ray release of 1983’s BMX Bandits.

March 22nd 

If I had to think of 3 movies that somehow found themselves as the butt of the most jokes in the film world this year, they’d be The Tourist, Yogi Bear and Skyline; all of which happen to be coming out on DVD/Blu-Ray this week. On Blu-Ray Stand by Me and the 90’s version of Stand by Me (aka The Sandlot) come out, as well as Scary Movie 4, Awakenings, Robots and Anastasia. The Pick of the week of was the Blu-Ray/DVD release of Buster Keaton’s Masterpiece Our Hospitality.

March 29th 

Once again the Oscar Nominated Tangled and Black Swan are getting released on DVD/Blu-Ray, as well as Dogtooth, Topsy-Turvy and Mad Men Season 4. Religious films The Ten Commandments and King of Kings are getting blu-ray releases but the pick of the week is the sci-fi classic Soylent Green.

In our third episode we’re visited by Quickbeam of the Hobbit Hip-Hop group Lords of the Rhymes, Director of the Horror film Neighbor Robert Masciantonio & musical guests Matt & Chris. We also check up on Brian, Arie Mangrum of uponofficialreview.com gives us a Super Bowl Update. We celebrated Geekscape’s 200th Episode saint mort style and one of our closest friends quits the show. 

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The second episode of the Saint Mort Show features interviews with Michael Swaim (Cracked.com), Nick Greg0rio (director of Green) and musical guest There Are Monsters.

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Well it’s a February, the month which contains every geek’s least favorite holiday Valentine’s Day. So you can either pretend that you’re going to have a date and then cry yourself to sleep on the 14th or instead celebrate the fact that being single means that you probably have some extra money to waste on DVDs, so let’s decide what we’re going to buy this month!

February 1st

We kick off the month with the direct to DVD sequels Mean Girls 2 and Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 on blu-ray and DVD. Available on Blu-Ray this week Alice in Wonderland, All About Eve, An Affair to Remember, Boys Don’t Cry and one of my personal favorites Pleasantville. However my pick of the week is the sequel to one of the best horror movies of the last decade Hatchet 2 available on DVD and Blu-Ray

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February 8th

This week we are getting the long awaited blu-ray release of John Hughes classic Uncle Buck as well as Thelma & Louise and Amarcode. Horror fans will be interested in the fact that the remake of I Spit on Your Grave as well as the Wes Craven film My Soul to Take (which none of us probably saw) are being released on DVD and Blu-Ray and may possibly be worth a “curiousity purchase” if cheap enough. For me though, the pick of the week is the ORIGINAL I Spit on Your Grave coming to both Blu-Ray and DVD. It’s brutal, gritty and unapologetic (and admittedly not very good) but I fucking love it.

February 15th

This is a big week on random blu-ray releases, luckily random also means amazing as each film is among some of the greatest in American cinema. Look for such titles hitting blu-ray as All the President’s Men, Network, Chaplin, Last Tango in Paris as well as Twilight Zone Season 3. However my pick of the week is the MOTORHEAD front men documentary Lemmy: 49% Motherfucker, 51% Son of a Bitch (which has easily the greatest documentary title ever).

February 22nd

Closing out the month we have a lot of TV releases (Nurse Jackie, Weeds & Tyler Perry’s Houe of Payne), as well as the classic animated film The Last Unicorn on Blu-Ray and DVD, A Clerks-ish film about working in a sub-shop called Ten Inch Hero and a Documentary on comic books called Comic Book Independents. While I’d probably purchase any of those films, my pick of the week is the blu-ray release of one of my all time favorite movies Memento.

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Episode 1 of the Saint Mort Show has Matt interviewing George Hardy of Troll 2, Tommy Avallone (director of Community College) and a live performance of Team Goldie

When I was a young boy back in the 90’s I used to go to the deli behind my house every week to buy comic books. Every week I was given a choice between the new MAD Magazine or the new Cracked. I was the kid in the minority who preferred Cracked over the much higher rated MAD Magazine. I was addicted, one could say I was a Crack-Head (see what I did there?). I even recall in 1995 when Fox announced their new show Mad TV, my prepubescent friends and I quickly put together Cracked TV. The show was short-lived (we recorded one 10 minute episode that was mostly just us acting out articles from that week’s cracked, but I can promise you it was still funnier than any episode of MAD TV).

Once high school began I stopped visiting the deli for comics and got caught up in typical high school stuff (discovering Monty Python & Kevin Smith movies). I sorta forgot about Cracked and started ignoring MAD (both the Magazine and the Show) all together. It wasn’t until college when a close friend introduced me cracked.com. At the time I saw the site I didn’t even realize this was at all related to my beloved cracked magazine, but I did fell in love with the site and began reading the site on a daily basis. I was once again a Crack-Head.

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Now with their first book You Might be a Zombie (and Other Bad News) Cracked.com has entered itself back into print media. The book is a collection of popular articles from the site as well as never-before printed articles. The articles encapsulates what Cracked.com does best like ruining some of your favorite movies for life (The Saddest Happy Endings in Movie History, making sure you NEVER leave your house again (Things that Can Kill You In Your Own Backyard) and praising Teddy Roosevelt (Most Bad-ass Presidents)

First things first, this book is hilarious. There’s not a single essay that fails to deliver. You’ll find yourself quoting exerts and facts from it towards friends and family members. If you have the book with you, there’s even a chance that you may whip the book out and immediately start reading it to friends.

Reviewing this book is quite difficult however. It is at its core just a series of interesting lists, but they are extremely interesting and funny lists. There is really nothing to not like about this book. It may not have much of a re-readable factor; but that’s not the kind of book this is. A friend called it a “Bathroom Book” but I disagree. The book is more than even just a coffee table book, it’s a conversation starter. If you’re on a site named Geekscape reading this review (which I know you are), then chances are, this book is perfect for you.

It’s that time of the year again, December 25th is just around the corner and it’s a truly important day. No I’m not talking about Christmas, I’m talking about the debut of Geekscape four years ago. So as we reach the end of 2010, we also reach the end of yet another year. We’re closing in on 200 episodes (more episodes than your average sitcom’s life line… take that Seinfeld) and come January 2011 there will be our annual party and awards ceremony. Lucky for you our awards ceremony tends to look like this.

 

The best part is that the winners are selected from YOU, the readers, listeners and forum members! We’ve provided a short list of highlights nominated by you guys but anything is game! If we’re missing any of your favorites, post them in the comments! Mark down your favorite in each category and e-mail them to Geekscape by midnight PST on January 1st! The clock is ticking so get out there!

Best Episode:

Geekscape 188: With Extra Bonus Features!: William Bibbiani

Geekscape 178: Raised by Gorillas: Jeffery Harris

Geekscape 172: It Starts From The Baby: Comic Con 2010

Geekscape 170: The Most Dangerous Man Alive: Ian Kerner

Geekscape 166: It Takes a Special Kind of Girl: Axel Braun

Geekscape 163: Are We Still Talking About Halo?: Paul London, Phoenix Marie

Geekscape 159: Please Don’t Get Crazy: Ian Kerner

 

Best Co-Host:

Ian Kerner

Corey Roberts

William Bibbiani

Ben Dunn

Heidi Hilliker (The only female co-host so far this year?!)

 

Best Geekscape Moment:

Walton does the Truffle Shuffle in front of Malcolm McDowell and hundreds of people at ZomBcon.

Tyrese finally appears on Geekscape and let’s us know, “It starts from the baby.”

Gilmore Explains Pacman Jr

Evan Stone signs autographs from the top of the Geekscape booth at Comic Con in full Riddler costume (and never breaks character)

Jonathan proving his Christopher Walken and JVCD aren’t the same voice (episode 182)

Gilmore reviewing Human Centipede on the show

 

Best Special Feature Article:

Star Wars: Episodes VII – IX: Why They Will Probably Get Made, And Why They Don’t Have To Suck: Eric Diaz

Origins of Geekscape: Jonathan London

Where The %#@* Is My Wonder Woman Movie: Eric Diaz

Jim Henson (1936-1990): Saying Goodbye 20 Years Later: Matt Kelly

Geekscape’s Oscar Guide: How to Pretend You’ve Seen Everything and What’s Most Likely To Win: William Bibbiani

Super Hero Showdown: Nick Gregorio with original Art by Dan Hale

 

Best Weekly Feature:

Teabag Prevention: Jacob Lopez

The Week in Geek: Eric Diaz

History of the Nerd: Hong Che

The Weekly Witney Top 10: Witney Seibold

Trailer Trash Heap: Brian Walton

 

Best Non-‘Scape Content

Fandom Planet Episode 0: Sax Carr and Tim Powers w/ Allison Scagliotti

NPC’s: Booth Bubs: Jonathan London and Tim Jennings

NPC’s: Sonic 4 Rainbow Party w/Evan Stone: Jonathan London and Tim Jennings

Fandom Planet Episode 1: Sax Carr and Tim Powers w/ Scott Lobdell

Live Nude Geeks Episode 1: Heidi Hilliker, Jillian Jensen, and Brian Walton (I know I know, we’re cheating a bit, but the first ep drops before the awards and we wanted to give it a chance. The link will be updated when it is released.)

 

Best Movie Review (Written):

Toy Story 3: The Official Geekscape Review: Eric Diaz

The Last Airbender: How Hollywood Got It Wrong: Ivan Kander

Geekscape’s Exit Through The Gift Shop Review: Ben Dunn

Does It Actually Kick Ass?: Jonathan London

SXSW: Geekscape reviews American: The Bill Hicks Story: Brent Moore

 

Best Review Other:

KFC Double Down Taste Test: Brian Walton

Geekscape After Dark Reviews ‘Batman: A XXX Parody’: William Bibbiani

Geekscape’s Dead Rising 2: Case 0 Review: Brian Walton

 

Geekscape Reviews AMC’s ‘The Walking Dead!’: William Bibbiani

First Impressions of The New Doctor Who (Ep. 1 Review): Brian Gilmore

 

Best Forum Member:

(For help with this one simply visit our forum, moderators have not been nominated but can be write in votes)

Monstar

Fushna

Superdeformed

Dave

RayzRyd

 

Best Forum Thread

There are lots of threads at the Geekscape Forum. Join the site, look at them and vote for your favorite, we suggest

Super Random THoughts: Alpha Flight

Rate/Review The Last Movie You’ve Seen

Would You Tap That

Photowhoring: We Just Need to Be Loved

Photo Manip’s – MuleD’s House of Horrors

Movie of the Year:

127 Hours

The Social Network

Toy Story 3

How To Train Your Dragon

Scott Pilgrim

 

Video Game of the Year:

Super Meat Boy

Halo: Reach

Mass Effect 2

Scott Pilgrim

Red Dead Redemption

 

TV show of the Year:

Mad Men

Walking Dead

Smallville

The Mighty Avengers

Sherlock

Doctor Who Season 5

 

Comic of the Year:

The Walking Dead

Invincible

Brightest Day

Lock and Key: Keys to the Kingdom

Scott Pilgrim Volume 6

 

Geekscape MVP

 

So much like Captain Planet… the power is yours! Let us know what we’re missing and what you want to see win! Vote and the results will be read live (and then taped for the non-LA residents) at the Geekscape Party. Remember to send your votes to us at walton@geekscape.net.

(Editor’s Note: Matt Kelly and Brian Walton both put this together but our system only allows one to be credited correctly.)

It’s that time again to look at watch ridiculous DVDs are coming out with almost NO advertising. Since I write this column I’ve already seen some of the releases and I’ll be honest… there are some OUTRAGEOUS titles (both good and bad) this month. So unless you’re saving up your money to buy the Special Edition director’s cut of Devil… get ready to spend some coin.

 

December 7th there’s some amazing blu-ray releases from titles like Lost in Translation, Rush Hour, The Big Hit and Videodrome (a must have for any movie geek). At long last cult sci-fi classic Cronos will be available on both blu-ray and DVD. Coming just to DVD (for roughly $375) is the Fox 75th Anniversary box-set containing 75 discs worth of Fox movies. There’s a lot of movies to name in there but it includes such titles as Day the Earth Stood Still and Star Wars: A New Hope. However my pick of the week (much like in September) is one of the 90’s best kid’s shows, Boy Meets World Season 4

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Coming to both DVD and blu-ray on December 14th, Indie comedy Cyrus and Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (a documentary about the funniest female comedian). On DVD is America Lost & Found: The BBS Story which much like the Fox 75th Anniversary is a mult-disc collection including titles like Easy Rider, Five Easy Pieces, The Last Picture Show and a few others. However the pick of the week is obviously the blu-ray release of cult classic Hard-Boiled.

December 21st we get A LOT of TV releases between Futrama Season 5 and Family Guy It’s a Trap on both DVD & Blu-Ray, Caprica Season 1.5 on DVD only and the Family Guy Star Wars Trilogy on Blu-ray. On DVD we also have the films of Rita Hayworth which is exactly as it sounds, a collection of films starring Rita Hayworth. However the pick of the week is truly a toss-up between Mega Shark Vs. Crocarus or the Amateur Porn Star Killer Trilogy. What can I say, we’re a classy bunch here at Geekscape.

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Finally December 28th kicks off the Christmas Season right with Charlie Brown’s Valentine’s Day. As well as Cyborg Conquest which I’m sure will become a classic that the whole family can enjoy. In the realm of Family Friendly DVD releases Jersey Shore Seasons 1 and 2 finally come out but my pick of the week is the animated detective series Archer which will be released on DVD.

This weekend the first part of the final Harry Potter movie is being released. The trailer has the quote “The Motion Picture Event of a Generation” attached to it and I can’t think of a more truthful ad in my lifetime.

The Harry Potter series has become my generation’s Star Wars. For those of you living under a rock, Harry Potter was a book series (turned film series) that has since developed an intense fanbase as well as gained an equally large amount of notoriety and controversy.

Harry Potter has managed to develop a fanbase only comparable to Star Wars and Star Trek. To compare it to another popular book turned movie series, they’re kind of like the Twilight crowd (only less sexually charged and terrifying).

However while those fans spend more time wasting money on Team Jacob/Team Edward shirts or camping outside of Hall H at Comic Con, Harry Potter fans spend their time performing songs, recording fake commentary tracks or doing web-shows with puppets. The fandom has gotten so popular there was even an independent documentary made about it called We Are Wizards.

The entire month of November might as well be Harry Potter month (Thanksgiving who?).

Wrockstock was held in Potosi, Missouri the first weekend of November which contained some of the biggest names in Wizard Rock (a genre of music featuring over 750 bands singing about Harry Potter characters and worlds) such as Harry & the Potters, Draco & the Malfoys and The Whomping Willows. Where did Wizard Rock come from? According to We Are Wizards the first wizard rock band was Harry & the Potters formed by brother Joe & Paul DeGeorge. Freya Fridy of Wizrocklopedia says that there had been bands that sang about Harry Potter before Harry & the Potters but it was there “idea of DIY music & playing shows in libraries has expanded to including people from 8-60 years old recording tracks, putting them on myspace, touring the country to play shows & basically giving fans all over a reason and a place to gather together”. Matt Maggiacomo of The Whomping Willows described it as “the most open & accessible musical community in existence”

This past weekend in New York was the “Quidditch World Cup” where college Quidditch Teams from all over gathered to play the wizard sport.

The college I currently work at has a Quidditch team of its own and I have frequently stopped and watched games and I’ll be honest with you, it’s an extremely fun game to watch. Beyond songs & sports there are things like the charity “The Harry Potter Alliance” (which bands Harry Potter fans together to help raise money for various charities), Brad Neeley’s infamous “Dear Reader, Wizard People” (Which acts as a commentary track/book to tape that syncs up with the film Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone), or the extremely popular youtube web-series “Potter Puppet Pals”

 

It hasn’t been all love to the book series. It was famously accused of pushing kids towards Wiccan and Satanism (which was brilliantly mocked by The Onion). These accusations are clearly from people who never bothered to read the book (for starters, the characters celebrate Christmas). While magic is an important aspect of the books it’s more about loyality, friendship and love (the most power magic of all).

While we all know that the movies in no way live up to the books; the message remained the same (something you can’t say about the Star Wars prequels). It’s almost impossible to not get a little teary-eyed thinking about the troubles of Harry; when characters die you feel the loss, when friends begin to argue you feel bad, you hate Professor Umbridge (the most disturbingly evil character I’ve ever read about) just as much as the main characters.

We are an extremely strong fanbase, while fanbases like Percy Jackson and Twilight may be strong, we will rank with Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia as epic stories that will last a lifetime. We Are Wizards and the Deathly Hollows is our generation’s motion picture event.

Well the Halloween season is over and now stores will be prepping up for the holidays (the one’s that haven’t been prepped since August). Black Friday is around the corner and studios are releasing lots of awesome blu-rays for us to get for friends and family (or if you’re me… for yourself).

 

On November 2nd The Larry Sanders Show and the Bing Crosby Collection will be coming out on DVD. Coming to Blu-ray the award winning Bridge on the River Kwai, infamous musical The Wiz and geek-favorite Highlander. Meanwhile coming to both blu-ray and DVD Musicals Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music. But my pick of the week is The Goonies 25th Anniversary including a commentary with the entire cast, a making of documentary, the music video for “the Goonies ‘R Good Enough” (all which appeared on the original DVD) as well as a board game, storyboard reproductions and a 1985 souvenir magazine reprint.

 

 

November 9th on blu-ray Highlander 2 comes out (which will go nicely if you purchased last weeks Highlander) and far more importantly the 90’s horror classic film Tremors. But DVD is clearly the winner of the week which the releases of such titles as Doctor Who Season 5 & the Amateur Porn Star Killer Trilogy (huh?). The most bizarre release is Nikkatsu Roman Porno Trailer Collection which is exactly what it sounds like, a collection of porn trailers from Nikkatsu’s Roman Porno Erotic years between 1971 – 1988 (what!?!). Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume XIX comes out in which our favorite robots (and Joel) watching classics like The Robot Monster, Bride of the Monster, Devil Doll and Devil Fish. It comes with an Exclusive Limited Edition Gypsy Figurine, Footage from the MST3K Convergence Panel and Lost Skeleton Director Larry Blamire’s reflections on Robot Monster, but yet it is not my pick of the week. My Pick is Full Moon Pictures “Puppet Master Collection” which contains all 9 puppet master films in a box set for the cheap price of $36.99!

 

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November 16th is without a doubt, my most expensive DVD purchasing week. Blu-ray is giving us Twilight Zone Season 2 (featuring many classic episodes The Invaders, Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up and my personal favorite episode The Eye of the Beholder), Marlon Brando epic Mutiny on the Bounty and the Peanuts Holiday Collection. Coming to both Blu-ray and DVD we have some of the greatest movies in American history ranging from Metropolis and Night of the Hunter as well as releases from the masters of Silent Film Charlie Chaplin (with Modern Times) and Buster Keaton (Sherlock Jr.) but the pick of the week is the long awaited release of Best Worst Movie, the long awaited Troll 2 documentary.

 

The rest of the month isn’t super exciting on November 23rd Beauty and the Beast will finally get a DVD release and the greatly underappreciated animated series Batman Beyond (the complete series) will get a release. November 30th on blu-ray and DVD gives us Fantasia/Fantasia 2000 but the pick of the week is the documentary Waking Sleeping Beauty.

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If you used to spend countless hours watching Comedy Central during the late-90s/early-2000s you probably spent more than one evening watching a Comedy Central Presents… marathon. The half-hour stand-up specials were often a spring-board for some of the most popular comics today. One of those comics was Nick Swardson. His half-hour special was definitely one of my all-time favorites, it’s actually frightening how accurate his commentary on the constant advances of Video Games actually was.

After the special, Swardson went MIA for a while and then started to reappear in Happy Madison films like Click, The Benchwarmers and Grandma’s Boy (while actually co-writing the latter two). Swardson will now be joining the ranks of Dave Chappelle, Demetri Martin and Carlos Mencia with yet another sketch comedy show on Comedy Central Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time. While attending New York Comic Con I was able to see the pilot which premieres on Comedy Central tonight at 10pm. But how is it? Is it worth watching?

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Well, that’s hard to say; unlike The Chappelle Show which perfectly matched Chappelle’s stand-up with sketches. Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time is much more like Important things with Demetri Martin where you spend most of your time longing for the comedian to just do his stand-up.

One piece of the show I found interesting was the format, which unlike previous comedy central sketch shows, followed a very “Sketch” “Stand Up” “Sketch” style. Swardson attempts to do what Mr. Show perfected in having each sketch lead into the next one, however the transitions aren’t anything incredible and the tactic is mostly a zoom-out revealing the sketch you just watched being on a television owned by the star character of the new sketch.

But is it funny? The show is very completely hit or completely miss. Much like Important Things… when Pretend Time hits, it really hits. One particular sketch called Gary Gaga in which a reality show follows famous celebrity’s siblings (in this case Lady Gaga’s theatrically dressing Police Officer brother, Gary) definitely is the stand-out sketch which other ones (like a pee-fueled car) just seem very sophomore-ish, even though the show is just starting.

The show was interesting and unique enough that I’ll definitely watch a few more episodes before I can get a final verdict, but so far I don’t for-see this being the next Chappelle Show.

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Just another day at the Office for Gary Gaga

 

Judge for yourself by watching it tonight, October 12, 2010, at 10pm only on Comedy Central.

October is my favorite DVD month. As a huge horror movie buff I’m always excited for stores to have films on sale and for horror classics to get Special Edition releases. It looks like October 2010 is no different than previous years so let’s get right into it, horror fans!

October 5th

Well; it’s finally here. After months of waiting Human Centipede has finally hit DVD/Blu Ray. However if ass-to-mouth monsters aren’t your cup of tea; worry not!

There are PLENTY of great movies getting the blu-ray treatment today. Disney classic Beauty and the Beast is coming out; along with Humphrey Bogart classics Maltese Falcon & Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Further more sci-fi/horror classics like Mad Max, The Exorcist and the Robocop Trilogy are getting released, but what will truly make the geeks cream their pants will be the COMPLETE Grindhouse featuring all the faux-trailers as well as Planet Terror and Death Proof.

Being that I have no blu-ray player this frustrates me as this is a blu-ray only release. Balls.

However the must have blu-ray this week is of course Troll 2 (would you expect anything less). Get your Troll 2 knowledge prepped so you can enjoy next month’s Best Worst Movie release

 

October 12th

While this week marks Dollhouse Season 2 and The Lost Boys 3 getting their long awaited DVD/ blu-ray releases (they are long awaited right?).

Blu-ray is finally getting the disappointing Red Dragon (which I guess can brag about not being the WORST Hannibal Lecter movie) and Three Kings (the painfully under-appreciated war/heist film from the late 90’s), but DVD is giving us the best releases this week with the COMPLETE series of Angel (which I’m only on Season 2 but I love it’s film noir style so far) but the most have is Season 1 of Dexter’s Laboratory.

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October 19th

I started off quite excited when I saw a blu-ray/DVD release for Night of the Demons. However, it turns out this is just a remake starring Edward Furlong made last year so fuck that shit.

Blu-ray has an impressive group of classic films like Seven Samurai and Psycho coming out, as well as Cult Classics Moulin Rouge, Romeo + Juliet and Rocky Horror Picture Show.

DVD has the release of the Complete Pee Wee’s Playhouse Boxset which contains all 5 seasons of Pee Wee’s Playhouse as well as the incredibly entertaining and bizarre Pee Wee’s Christmas Special.

However, I’d put my money towards the blu-ray release of The Howling Trilogy which contains the greatly underappreciated Howling 3: The Marsupials as well as the awful (as in unwatchable) V: The Rebirth and VI: The Freaks… maybe I won’t be buying this after all.

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October 26th

Blu-ray is giving us Back to the Future and the Alien Anthology which are certain to be on every geeks shopping check list. Meanwhile DVD will be giving us Who is Harry Nilson (and why is everybody talking about him) which was recently reviewed on this site.

Available on both formats is Stanley Kubrick’s infamous Paths of Glory.

This will be an expensive weekend for myself having to decided between Tonight: 4 Decades of Johnny Carson (a collection of the greatest moments of the golden age of the Tonight show), Chaplin at Keystone (a collection of all of Chaplin’s early silent film shorts) or horror-classic Maniac (available in both DVD & Blu-Ray) which has some of Tom Savini’s most impressive make-up work.

 

Another month; another four weeks of New DVDs coming out. So what if Letters from Juliet, Glee Season 1, Robin Hood or Stomp the Yard 2: Homecoming are coming out this month (well… I care about Stomp the Yard actually)? There’s still plenty of great vintage titles, independent films and TV shows getting the blu-ray/DVD treatment between all of the studio releases.

September 7th

 

Get that blu-ray player fired up for some sci-fi classics this week. George Lucas’ debut film THX-1138, the under-appreciated Tim Burton comedy Mars Attacks and Forbidden Planet (one of the greatest science fiction films ever made) are all hitting blu-ray this week. Also being released on blu-ray this week is Hatchet, easily one of the top five best horror movies in the last decade. As for me and the few other non-blu-ray owners we have the Critters box set just waiting to have a home on our DVD shelf. ABC’s The Norm Show starring SNL’s most under-used former cast member is also getting a DVD release, but the TV show I care about is The Wonder Years of my generation, Boy Meets World (season 1 through 3).

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September 14th

If you are a fan of Broken Lizard (I personally think they’re 1:4) then you’ll want to fire up your DVD player for Brozen Lizard: Stand Up with the group doing a live comedy show. Also on DVD comes the double feature DVD, The Howling/The Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf (or just get The Howling Special Edition from a few years ago) and the Gilbert & Sullivan musical comedy Pirates of Penzance (which features one of the greatest songs ever written for the stage “I am the very model of modern major general”) starring Kevin Kline. Blu-Ray will be brining you the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Intense psychological thrillers Se7en & Jacob’s Ladder, independent French classic Delicatessen and my personal favorite zombie movie ever Return of the Living Dead. But I’m most excited for the DVD & Blu-Ray release of Twilight Zone Season 1. While the Rod Sterling show is dated at times, other episodes (like “Time Enough At Last”) are still classic and sometimes chilling.

September 21st 

This is not really an exciting week for DVD releases. Pearl Jam is giving us a live DVD called Pearl Jam: Under Review and at long last He’s Your Dog, Charlie Brown will be getting it’s long-awaited DVD release. But with the first seasons of both Bored to Death & Community as well as season 5 of How I Met Your Mother getting released this week that’ll probably be where most of my paycheck (and yours too) should be going!

 

September 28th

The answers we’ve been longing to find out are finally here! No, it has nothing to do with LOST, it has everything to do with the DVD release of Bigfoot is Real: From Sasquatch to the Abominable there’s no way this won’t be a must have! Two Discs and Over Four Hours of Real Bigfoot sighting testimonies it’s almost too much to handle. September 7th showed the blu-ray release of Hatchet, also on blu-ray (and DVD) from writer/director Adam Greene comes Frozen which just further proves that Greene can literally tackle any sub-genre of horror with perfect vision and fun blended together. However the must-have this week is the blu-ray of 1933’s King Kong which is without a doubt one of the most impressive and important films of the golden age of cinema. Any serious DVD collector should be proud to have this movie in their collection, if for no other reason than Willis O’Brien’s incredible stop-motion sequences.

When summer comes around, it’s time for the beach for most people. Then there are other people, like myself, who know better. We know better because we had parents that cared enough to make us watch Jaws when we were young and teach us some common sense. Sharks are in the water. Big sharks.

Most people (myself included) consider Jaws to be one of the finest films in cinema’s long and varied history. The film, released exactly 35 years ago, deserves every single second of praise it receives, but what’s most exciting about the original film from 1975 (considered one of, if not the first blockbuster movie) is how bad it could have been. Happy mistakes turned an ordinary big monster movie into the ultimate suspense experience. But we’ll get to that later. First we must discuss the history of the world’s most famous shark.

The story of Jaws originated in 1916 when the Jersey shore was terrorized by 5 shark attacks in one summer. While the actual species of shark has never been determined, it is most frequently attributed to either the Bull Shark or Great White. The entire incident has been the subject of multiple documentaries and the docudrama 12 days of Terror. However, its most infamous influence was when Peter Benchley took the story and turned it into his first novel: 1974’s Jaws.

                                          

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Jaws is not a particularly good novel. Multiple readers and critics (as well as Jaws director Steven Speilberg) found the characters completely unsympathetic and claimed to have found themselves rooting for the shark to win. Multiple changes were made from the book to the screen, specifically dropping plot lines involving Chief Brody’s wife having an affair and the Mayor having mob connections (which made up over half the book) and focused the bulk of the story on a small island being terrorized by a shark.

It’s been well reported that the shooting of the original Jaws was plagued with mishaps and technical difficulties from start to finish. The movie was suppose to begin with the shark being visible in the first 10 minutes when the girl is attacked in the water. Due to technical difficulties they were forced to shoot around most of the attack scenes (including the iconic opening attack). It was the suspense and the tension born out of the unknown that moved this film to a higher emotional plane, but you also can’t also deny the general brilliance of the performances of the three leads.

Jaws opens with a girl swimming at night and being attacked and pulled underwater. It still remains one of the most infamous, terrifying moments in film history. Our hero, Chief Brody, then enters the aftermath, and despite being the chief officer of a resort island, hates the water. He immediately wants to close the beaches until the water is safe, but the Mayor does not allow it claiming that the shark has probably left already and the island needs the money from tourists.

A few days later, the shark causes the death of a young boy in front of a packed beach of swimmers and townsfolk. The Mayor reacts by sending out shark hunters, who capture and kill a shark. The shark expert that Chief Brody brings in, Matt Hooper, is not convinced the shark captured by the shark hunters is THE shark. Brody and Hooper continue to try to convince the Mayor that they MUST close down the beaches, but do not succeed.

On the fourth of July, the shark returns and takes out a local man and almost attacks Brody’s son. Finally, the Mayor has a change of heart and realizes something must be done. Brody and Hooper recruit the crazed shark hunter Quint, and the three of them set out on the ocean. For the next hour of the movie, these three characters (and the rubber shark, of course) execute classic, suspenseful, and sometimes terrifying scenes through superb acting and witty dialogue. The film concludes *SPOILER IF YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK* with Chief Brody blowing the fucking shark up! Clearly, the island is safe.

Enter Jaws 2. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, a new shark arrives. Let me start by saying this… Jaws 2 isn’t bad by sequel standards, but it is far from good. After the events of Jaws, it is confusing to me as to why the Mayor wouldn’t just accept the existence of a shark after two scuba divers disappear, and photographs of a shark appear. Regardless, the concept of a bunch of kids trapped in small boats without any way of escaping is what kept the movie exciting and moving along. And when a shark manages to eat a helicopter, you know shit is going down.

SIDE TRACK:

Now before I discuss Jaws 3-D I do want to draw attention to The Last Shark/Great White (depending what country you live in), the Italian Horror film with the worst looking shark ever. The film was released in the US for roughly a day until they were sued for Plagiarism and has never had an official US release since (although you can certainly get copies on bootleg at conventions and online). If you can get a copy of it (or find it online to watch, it’s worth watching because it makes you yell “Wow! I wish I was watching Jaws 3-D!”) definitely do so if only for camp reasons and to segue you back towards Jaws 3-D.

                

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Seriously! Look at that fucking thing!

BACK ON TRACK:

Here we are at Jaws 3-D (or how a movie that’s probably half decent in 3-D does not work on home video at all). I have never had the honor of seeing Jaws 3-D. I have however, seen Jaws 3 multiple times. Horror films of the 80’s were created for the new invention of 3-D (new in the sense that it had been around since the mid-50s in much better films like House of Wax) and next thing you knew all the horror greats were in 3-D Jaws, Jason, The Amityville House… well… maybe not the greats, but they were definitely horror movies (I think). The problem (or the “highlight” to some people… for example: Me) is that when you take away the 3-D elements there is still the loads of stupid (hilarious) shit being thrown towards a camera. Every time I watch Jaws 3 (which is more times than I’d like to admit to) I can’t help but feel like I could ignore the complete lunacy of the concept of a giant underwater amusement park being attacked by a 30 foot long Great White (that just so happens to have both of Chief Brody’s children as employees) and at least enjoy some fun 3-D like a floating arm, a decapitated fish head or a pair of shark jaws (they blew the shark up again) flying at the screen and have a good time.

So yeah, Jaws 3(D) was pretty bad. In fact, even the studio said… “you know what… we’re going to give you another Jaws movie and we’re going to pretend that Jaws 3 never happened at all” with Michael Caine’s Jaws 4 (as we call it around here). It was like the original Reboot. The only problem: their solution in Jaws The Revenge (the actual title) is so unbelievably bad that it makes us LONG for Jaws 3(D)! Every aspect of the movie is idiotic from expecting us to believe a shark can hold a personal vendetta towards a family, that sharks can roar or that sharks will explode if you poke them hard enough. What’s even more impressive is that the “Shark Exploding Unexplainable Ending” was the RESHOOT ending! Originally it was something MORE outrageous involving the boat ramming into the shark that was hanging out half exposed from the water (as sharks often do when they’re just chilling in the middle of a revenge mission) and it then proceeds to bleed to death and take the whole boat down with it. No, really. That was the original ending. Don’t believe me?

                

What originated as one of cinemas greatest achievements ended in a sad (and confusing) exploding shark (which Batman and Robin totally already did about two decades previously). Successfully, the franchise has remained dead and blown up for over 20 years, although there are rumors of a reboot just around the corner. In most cases when you hear the rumor that Tracy Morgan is being considered for Matt Hooper, you assume it’s an April Fools joke, but this is the franchise that gave us the 45-foot long roaring shark with a vengeance so be careful next time you step foot in the water (or the multiplex). That might be a movie more horrifying than the original.

I’m a pretty biased writer for this review. The director of Neighbor is the cousin of one of my good friends, so I’ve been hearing about this movie for over a year or so now. I didn’t get to actually see the finished film though until last week. Director Robert Angelo Masciantonio had promised me on multiple occasions that this movie would be more “goretastic” than anything I’ve ever seen before. I’m happy to finally say in the case of Neighbor (after years of disappointment from claims like that) that there was a follow through.

Masciantonio deserves a place beside the likes of Adam Greene & James Gunn as new horror directors who actually understand their audiences’ want. Neighbor is a delightful combination of the character development and pacing of John Carpenter’s Halloween mixed with the in-your-face gore of Hostel.

To regular viewers, the movie might seem far from perfect. There are some flaws and the acting is what you’d expect out of a small cast of mostly locals, but the actors aren’t the stars of the show. The star is the gore. However much money was spent for FX artists Jason Chapman, Erin Dell’amore and Vincent J. Gustini, it was money well spent. I can’t remember the last time that I literally squirmed in my seat with discomfort.

The story follows a nameless girl who goes from random house to random house and tortures the homeowners and their friends, while offering no motivation or mercy. To describe the movie as cringe-worthy is an understatement to the levels of discomfort that this film brings. I had a chance to sit down and talk to Robert Angelo Masciantonio myself and this is the resulting interview.

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There are moments in Neighbor that put me on edge like never before. The only other film to ever make me feel this uncomfortable and dirty was a 70’s film called Bloodsucking Freaks. It’s obvious that the shock is the point, so the questions is: “what is wrong with you?” Where did you come up with some of these more horrifying death sequences?

Well, I’m sure the one everyone thinks of first is the swizzle stick. Basically, when it was still an idea, I’d ask people “what would be the worst thing someone could do to you (in this situation)” and then maybe riff on something someone brought up. That scene, in particular, was longer and also involved her invading his anal cavity. Christian (Campbell) put his foot down and wouldn’t do that part so I use it in the sequel. Anyway, someone brought up how a Vietnamese torture tactic during the war was to stick bamboo under soldier’s fingernails. From there I simply thought, “what could be worse” and that’s what it degraded into; a swizzle stick and a wang. I knew from the beginning that it was a gag I’d want in there and always intended on showing so graphically as well. Charles (St. John Smith III), the producer, wanted to put out an ad looking for a guy that would let us do it for real. Apparently it is a real thing called “Sounding”. I never looked up if it’s that valid… The rest of the tortures were done “off the cuff”. I don’t take notes or do outlines when I write. I just sit down and write down what I see happening in my head. Like, I sat at my computer and cringed as I wrote the scene with the hacksaw. That scene and the one with the drill are in the movie just as I visualized them writing it… down to the happy accidents like tendons getting wrapped up when they were written to or pieces of cheek rolling down to the floor. There was a lot of anger written into the torture scenes. If someone pissed me off that day it went on to the page that night. A lot of it was stuff I had wished I could do to someone earlier. Not a particular person just… well, you know what I mean.

You mentioned saving a scene for a sequel; is that going to be your next project or are you going to do some other projects before an immediate sequel?

The script for Neighbor 2 and Neighbor 3-D are finished. I’m also toying with some other scripts. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with cancer in April and that has eaten up (drum crash) all of my time.

I’m sorry to hear about the cancer diagnoses. How have things been going with that? Furthermore, has it inspired the scripts even more so?

Thanks. It’s okay. They got it out of my tongue, which was the original diagnoses, but found one infected lymph node. I’m basically trying to decide if I want chemo & radiation or just hope I only had one infected node. It has inspired two scripts but I haven’t written them yet. Well, one I started a while ago but didn’t have a real reference point. I’ll revise what exists of that one, a sort of pseudo-Western, called “Dust in My Boots”, finish it and then think about if the other idea had legs. I also want to finish a female vigilante script that I started a little while ago but that has nothing to do with cancer… I just thought about it. I guess it goes along more with your other question about what’s next.

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The Girl gets a drink from her Victim

While people cover this movie they definitely talk about the gore aspect; but I think there’s a great level of dark humor in the film that people ignore. Part of the fun of the movie is that there’s a huge level of absurdity in the manner in which people are killed (draining out a heart through a spout comes to mind). In the sequel would you up the level of humor or lower it?

I think the tone of the sequel is very much the same, just amped up even more. I’m following Halloween in that it picks up a minute after the first one. The third one follows Friday the 13th Part 3 a bit more. They both follow the general horror movie sequel rules of getting more and more violent.

Following the rules of horror movies? Doing Neighbor 3-D? I’m hoping that you’ll have characters doing pointless shit like playing with a ball on a string, or using flashlights, juggling. Are their plans to take neighbor to space or Manhattan as well?

I guess I mean more like following the ’80s model. 2 picks up right after 1, 3 is in 3-D, 4 kinda has nothing to do with the other ones, 5 brings back, well, someone… don’t want to give too much away. And, yes, I would love to do 3 in 3-D; it would be total ’80s style with people aiming at the camera. Yes, Neighbor X is on Mars. No, I’m not kidding.

In my review I referred to this movie as the character development and pacing of Halloween with the shock factor of Hostel. The film also has homages to Clockwork Orange, Misery and if I’m not wrong… Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, what are some of your cinematic influences?

For this movie it was The Shining, Silence of the Lambs & Misery. Effects wise, I wanted it to make me feel the way I did when I was, like, nine and saw Jack’s face for the first time in An American Werewolf in London, when he’s all chewed up. We did the colored credits in homage to A Clockwork Orange and face cards are a nod to Scream. I love Scorsese’s use of movement and jack that style. Story-wise, I did want that Halloween on steroids feel… my difference being we couldn’t cut to a wall getting spattered with blood. Believe it or not, Hostel and Saw really weren’t influences. The only thing I remember from Hostel was the dude getting his Achilles tendon and I saw Saw part something on cable after we wrapped only because it had come up. It’s funny but I haven’t seen a lot of movies that come up in reviews, like Miike’s Audition. The Dream Sequences, of all things, were [actually] inspired by The Last Temptation of Christ.

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A Clockwork Orange homage to the extreme

John Waters regular Mink Stole has a brief scene in this movie, how did that come about?

Charles is a HUGE Mink Stole fan and asked if I’d give her the role. We were lucky enough for her to have said yes. Mink was amazing to work with.

I’ve heard that the “Love Scene” was quite infamous even before audiences got to see it; care to explain?

“The Love Scene” is the one that made R. Emmett Sibley (Rob), the editor, throw up, I believe. We shot everything in the basement on a set in sequence and Rob was there editing pretty much as it came in. The day before was the drill scene and I probably made him show that to me a hundred times. On top of that, he had to edit the Love Scene the next night. The two compiled on one another was too much and he lost his lunch. I think that’s what you’re referring to. I also mention on the commentary track that it is Charles acting as stand-in for Christian during the actual torture in that scene. It was just too much for Christian. He basically told me that he’d throw up for real.

I’ve noticed that you reply to pretty much every comment on IMDb. I find that every interesting. While there are a decent amount of positive responses there are definitely negative feedbacks. You reply to them all with extra kindness though. How does it feel in this day and age to have instant feedback like that at all times?

The IMDb, yes. Honestly, I’ve been using it as a tool to promote the movie. The instant feedback kinda sucks only in that there is no filter. The thing I’ve noticed is that people love to print hate. So many people come up to us or will put a one-liner on a FB page about how they enjoyed the movie. But, man, when someone hates it, they’ll go online during the goddamn movie and send out, “this movie stinks”. I ask everyone that tells me they like it, do me favor and put it in print.

If you could have Neighbor play as a double feature with ANY MOVIE (regardless of year of release or genre) what would it be?
See, if I pick something amazing like An American Werewolf in London it will just outshine me too much so maybe something classically terrible like the Mariah Carey movie. How do you not love Neighbor after that?

Damn, I was hoping you’d say Neighbors with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd
See, there’s another one… I’ve never seen Neighbors and I’m a HUGE Belushi fan. I think I’m going to try to buy [it] after I finish this [interview].

If people want to see Neighbor with their own two eyes what are the best ways to do so?
NEIGHBOR seems to be all over now. I recommend Walmart.com simply because they have the lower price. If you’re super hi-tech, you can now get it digitally on iTunes or Amazon VideoOnDemand. I believe they also have it available in HD. Just make sure you get the Unrated Director’s Cut. There is an R Cut available for rent at Blockbuster but it kinda defeats the purpose.

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Mascianotonio picking up his copy

 

As most of us geeks know, Wednesday is comic book day and Tuesday is new DVD day. The problem is, most of the places we go to buy our DVDs (for those of us law abiding citizens who aren’t pirating them) really only carry the most mainstream of the mainstream. Since the creation of DVD (and now Blu-ray) we have been waiting for some of our favorites to come out in new & better formats. August will be bringing us such movie releases as Kick-Ass, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Death at a Funeral & Marmaduke, but here are some of the DVD releases you probably DON’T know about.

AUGUST 3 Piranha, Blood Simple, The Breakfast Club & Escape from New York will all be released on Blu-ray (finally); while Roger Corman’s gore & rape fest Humanoids from the Deep will be getting released on both Blu-ray AND DVD. However my love of Jim Henson is well documented, so I’m most excited for the release of Henson’s Place: The Man Behind the Muppets. This 52 minute long documentary covering the life history of Henson contains interviews with his wife Jane as well as puppeteers like Frank Oz among many others.

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AUGUST 10 At long last Vacation & European Vacation will be available on blu-ray. Also getting released in blu-ray will be astronaut documentary In the Shadow of the Moon. Appearing in both formats will be a new remastered version of the award-winning documentary Crumb, which covers the life and history of risque & sometimes-offensive cartoon artist R. Crumb. Getting DVD releases only will be the 70’s horror film Horror High; but my pick of the week is the complete series of the cult classic Max Headroom TV show. I’m hoping that the infamous “Chicago hacking of 1987” is a bonus feature.

AUGUST 17 Insane Clown Posse’s feature film debut Big Money Hustlas‘ sequel Big Money Rustlas will be released on DVD. I don’t know much about the movie but it has ICP dressed as cowboys on the cover and it carries the delightful tag-line “The Good, The Bad… The Outrageous” so you know it’s going to be memorable to say the least. However the pick of the week without a doubt is the long awaited sequel to The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera simply titled The Lost Skeleton Returns Again. In this sequel the gang goes into the jungle, characters who died in the first film return (sort of) and of course that dastardly skeleton is at it again, if you’re not familiar with the original, you might as well pick it up and have a nice double-feature with some friends

AUGUST 24 The original Indie comedy Withnail & I will be getting a blu-ray release side by side with Terry Gilliam’s sci-fi cult classic Time Bandits. However the “Pissing Matt Kelly off” DVD release of the week is the Flight of the Conchords complete series. After buying BOTH seasons on DVD and being let down by the complete lack of bonus features, this $40 box-set contains a documentary, outtakes, deleted scenes, Commercials for Dave’s Pawn shop and never before released 30 minute special titled “Flight of the Conchords: One Night Stand”. Looks like I may have to sell my copies now. WTFuck.

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AUGUST 31 1973’s Flesh Eater & 2008’s 70’s throwback gore fest Dead Eyes Open are both getting their DVD releases, which were a long time coming. Even longer time coming is the release of the 60’s TV series Thriller getting released on DVD; the first time it’s been made available in any format. But the pick for the week is the release of the Evil Dead blu-ray. While not Sam Raimi most loved movie, as far as I’m concerned this is his most visually pleasing film. This might well be my new number one reason to finally get a blu-ray player.

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I always try to claim that “baby of the ’80s” credit despite being five when the decade came to a close.

Most people would argue that I didn’t truly grow up in the ’80s and really only experienced a maximum of two cognitive years during the decade. Regardless, I claim the title because I grew up during the last few years of politically incorrect kids’ films and classic horror movies. I watched a lot of Ren & Stimpy and my favorite movies were Beetlejuice, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and Monster Squad. The latter came to be the biggest influence on my eventual love of the horror movie genre.

Vampires are suddenly in vogue again. Many would argue that the creatures in such media hits as Twilight, Vampire Diaries and True Blood can hardly be called Vampires. Regardless of what you believe, that’s what people consider them, and thus, vampires they are. Many of us long for the vampires from the eighties, be it a bunch of outcast kids in The Lost Boys, sophisticated socialites in the books of Anne Rice, or even Pee Wee Herman in the movie version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer(which technically was released in 1992, but man, that movie feels like something from the ’80s.)

It’s been recently announced that one of the greatest ’80s gems,Fright Night, is being remade. These days, most of us groan at any announcement of a remake, and while sometimes it’s a surprising step up from the source material (like the recent gem,The Crazies), it’s normally bland and insults our intelligence even more than the original source material (like Prom Night). However, the Fright Night remake seems to be a very different case.

People tend to say things like “remakes suck” or “the ’80s was the only time remakes were done right.” It’s hard to disagree per se, but it has nothing to do with decades – it has everything to do with intentions. The three horror remakes people always cite as ones that went above and beyond the call of duty are David Cronenberg’s The Fly, John Carpenter’s The Thing and Chuck Russell’s The Blob. These movies took classic (but somewhat B-status) horror/sci-fi movies from the late ’50s/early ’60s and modernized them slightly with the help of three decades of improved special effects. With each film (especially The Thing), the directors were very open about their love of the original film. It’s easy to brush this off because most directors say this about whatever movie they’re remaking, but you could tell by watching these film that they were genuine pet projects. You could imagine a young Chuck Russell running from his local theater in 1958, as well as David Cronenberg’s youthful eyes staring wide-eyed at the screen as David Hedison’s voice screeched “Help me!” You could tell that John Carpenter walked out of The Thing From Outer Space thinking, “That’s what I want to do someday.”

These weren’t infamous franchises. They were B-movies, far from the respected films of Universal Studios. Meanwhile movies like the Friday the 13, and more recently,Nightmare on Elm Street remakes, feel like nothing more than desperate money grabs simply trying to cash in on the brand name of Freddy or Jason. (Not to mention the fact that the trailers tend to brag with things like “From the producer of Transformers” or “starring the WB’s very own” and feature the same tired, grainy stock footage and dark undertones. Fright Night is far from a franchise film. It spawned one mediocre sequel and has a brief cult following, but it seems like this remake is far more of a passion project like the remakes of the ’80s versus a giant cash-in. (It should be noted that Fright Night is still in the pre-production phase of casting, so I could be VERY wrong about everything in this article. There’s no trailer to base this opinion on – in fact, this is almost completely based on the casting.)

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Let’s start with the casting of David Tennant as the Peter Vincent character. Some have argued that the former Doctor Who is simply not old enough to play the role. In the original, an aged Roddy McDowell played the failed and out of work late night horror host (like a male Elvira)/former actor. I most recently read the role will be changed to a failing magician. I’m not extremely happy with this change, however I understand it partially. The remake (as far as I can tell) will be modernized, taking place in 2011 – the type of show Peter Vincent hosted in the 1985 original hasn’t existed since Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs. Changing the character’s occupation makes sense, however, I don’t know how a magician really connects with vampire slaying. I feel like someone related to a horror genre or a comic book writer could work. Perhaps even pull My Name is Bruce and cast someone like Sarah Michelle Gellar or a director like John Waters and Lloyd Kaufman (okay, maybe only I’d want to see them play Peter Vincent). Regardless, David Tennant is very talented actor who I trust wholeheartedly will put the right spin of pathetic (but not TOO pathetic) that the role calls for.

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The casting of Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin) as Evil Ed is pitch perfect. I can’t think of a single young actor better suited for the role (except if I built a time machine and got 10 Things I Hate About You-era Joseph Gordon Levitt). The original Evil Ed Thompson was performed by Stephen Geoffrey, an actor who brought an intense and wild energy to the small handful of roles he played in the ’80s. However, in the ’90s he disappeared from the public eye to become a gay porn star, because he was either, a, not a strong actor, b, loved fucking, or c, all of the above… watch Heaven Help Us and decide for yourself. The way I see it, you can either love the casting of Mintz-Plasse or you can hope that the role has some type of curse and you won’t see him again expect for random searches on Pornotube.

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Who shall play our hero Charley Brewster? The fine people behind this remake have picked the slightly unknown Anton Yelchin. While he’s the star of the short-lived TV series Huff and the indie film Charlie Bartlett (one of my personal favorites of the last decade), he’s still far from a major player and a big draw, despite being in the blockbusters Star Trek and Terminator: Salvation. This is quite fitting however, since Fright Night was William Ragsdale’s first major movie role. But I do hope that Anton Yelchin will have better luck in his career following this movie since Ragsdale followed Fright Night with such movie roles as Mannequin 2, Big Momma’s House 2 and the TV movie prequel to Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion.

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But a hero is only as good as his villain. Who will play the suave, sophisticated and sexy next door neighbor? Chris Sarandon was perfect for the role in 1985, but Colin Farrell will step up to the vampire plate in 2011. Perfect. Undeniably perfect. The suave, sophisticated and sexy part is already taken care of – now let’s see if he can handle the heavy make-up and make us truly fear him.

It’s not just the casting that’s perfect – the production team isn’t anything to frown about. The movie can boast some indie cred of having Craig Gillespie as its director. Now granted, he gave us Mr. Woodcock (which was painfully unfunny to an almost unwatchable point), but his directorial debutLars & The Real Girl was a funny, off color but still undeniably heart-warming romantic comedy. He’s one for two. Though it’s hard to stand behind him 100 percent, I think the source material of Fright Night will be just what he needs to prove his directing chops (Not to mention a script by Marti Noxon who was a producer – and occasional writer – onBuffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.) Noxon knows how to make vampires sexy without taking away their threat (something that Stephenie Meyer has no ability to do, but in her defense she also doesn’t have a firm grasp on the English language, proper grammar or even storytelling).

There is still a lot that can go wrong with this movie: CGI versus practical effects, studio interference, the change from a former horror icon to a magician not making any sense. Or even Craig Gillespie giving us a whole lotta Mr. Woodcock without any Lars & the Real Girl. But for now, I’m just happy to have a horror movie remake out there that isn’t immediately groan worthy. I’m a big fan of little victories.

 

Twenty years ago, the world lost Jim Henson. I was four years old at the time, but I remember learning about his death a few months later on the television special “The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson.” While in college years later, I purchased a bootleg of the broadcast on eBay and it’s always been one of my most prized possessions.

Jim Henson has always been my biggest influence. While movies like Star Wars and Jaws made me want to make movies, and Kevin Smith showed me that it’s possible to make it with just a cheap camera and your friends, Jim Henson taught me that anything was possible. It’s hard to reflect on a person who I never met and who died before I was out of pre-school. I could use my assumptions and write about his importance and influence on the entertainment industry, but first I want to talk about his influence and importance to me.


I was born about a year before my parents were married. They didn’t have a place to live at the time so the first year-and-a-half was spent at my mom’s parent’s house. While she went to work, my grandfather would baby-sit me and had me watch Sesame Street and The Muppet Show reruns. I’ve always loved the Muppets. As far back as pre-school I remember watching many Sesame Street VHS tapes. I’d listen to songs like Ladybug Picnic, Alligator King and Telephone Rock roughly three times a day and wore through the VHS tapes to the point where they could no longer play.

Perhaps it was because of that first year of my life that I developed a very close relationship with my grandfather. Our family would have parties and while everyone was drinking and watching football, I’d hang out with my grandpop in his music room. We’d listen to old jazz records, he’d play his banjo, and we’d always watch either the Marx Brothers, Mel Brooks or Muppet films. The Muppets helped shape my concept of comedy and their influence is noticeable in multiple comedians and comedy writers ranging from comedy troupes like The State and Stephen Lynch to directors like Lloyd Kaufman and Kevin Smith. Comedian Chris Hardwick even referred to the Muppets as one of his two biggest influences on the twelfth episode of his podcast “The Nerdist” (The following episodes his guests WERE The Muppets).

I come from a family (at least on my mother’s side) where everyone is a musician. When we’d have parties, there were always different family members performing songs. But the show stopper was when my Uncle Tommy (who was an amateur stand-up comedian/impersonator) would get a Kermit the Frog puppet and sing Rainbow Connection while my grandfather played banjo. Still, somewhere around junior high I really stopped caring about Jim Henson and the Muppets. It wasn’t like I stopped liking them – I just never thought about them any more. It wasn’t until my grandfather’s death in 2001 when they reentered my mind. The day after his funeral, I turned on the TV and was greeted by Kermit the Frog singing Rainbow Connection in the opening credits of The Muppet Movie. I immediately broke down crying. This brutal moment had reopened a door into the world of Jim Henson for me.

Every person who’s ever worked with Henson says the same thing when they’re interviewed about him: He was friendly, funny and always coming up with new ideas. In a world where it feels like every movie is full of CGI and 3-D effects, we sometimes forget how wonderful the practical effects of the past were. While movies like Deep Blue Sea and the Star Wars prequels look cheesy and dated already, a movie like Labyrinth still shines with fantastical wonderment.

It’s easy for me to say that Jim Henson is the reason I write or direct or do comedy. What people forget are the other things that Henson inspired in us and taught us. He taught many of us how to read and write through his characters on Sesame Street (and his legacy has continued to educate long after his death). He taught us to love each other, to care about each other, to believe in ourselves and of the unlimited powers of our imagination. 

What always made things work for Henson was the way he depicted his characters. They were human – legit real creations – that were so much more than just pieces of felt and ping pong balls. When you watch the Muppet Show, you identify with these characters, be it the glamorous Miss Piggy, the misunderstood Gonzo, the stuggling artist Fozzie, the always relaxed Rowlf, or Kermit, who has the most daunting task of all the Muppets: struggling to keep everything together. I sincerely believe that everyone can be connected with a Muppet. But what made these characters so special and such an impact on generations of people young and old were the ways that they interacted with each other. They fought and they performed, but at the end of the day, they cared about each other. The Muppeteers were friends, and those friendships came through in the characters.  

There’s a song lyric that has always made me think of Henson. The lyric is from the song “Pure Imagination” from the 1973 film “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”: “If you want to view paradise/Simply look around and view it/Anything you want to do/Want to change the world, there’s nothing to it.” Jim Henson made the world believe that anything was possible. He created wonderfully elaborate worlds in his films. He made us all believe that as long as we believed in ourselves, we would succeed. He was the living example of following your dreams.  

Jim Henson started his career on public access television with Sam & Friends, a show that almost immediately oozed Jim’s trademark off-key brand of humor and introduced future classic characters like Kermit and Rowlf the Dog. While producing the show, Henson started to experiment with techniques that forever changed the way puppetry was performed on television. Until that point, it had always been a ventriloquist act, but Henson used monitors and raised sets in order to allow puppeteers to hold puppets over their heads and watch their performances on the screens. He made a living using the puppets to make commercials, appear on talk show appearances and even directed an award-winning short film called Time Piece. However it was when Joan Ganz Cooney and the team at the Children’s Television Workshop approached him about their educational show Sesame Street that Henson truly got to shine. 

It was there that Henson began to build a legacy with a new version of Kermit the Frog, in addition to Oscar the Grouch, Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster and Big Bird – just to name a few.  Henson always downplayed his role in the success of the show, but Cooney frequently praised his work and the Public Broadcast Service called him “the spark that ignited our fledgling broadcast service.”

Henson worried that he’d be typecast as only a children’s entertainer and began producing a series of adult sketches for Saturday Night Live, but the writers were not fans. Michael O’Donoghue famously stated, “I don’t write for felt.” It was from there that the groundbreaking Muppet Show began to grow. American Networks mostly rejected the series, feeling that the Muppets could only appeal to children, but it was with the help of a media mogul named Lew Grade that the show got made. Like most great shows, it was a slow burn to its popularity. But in 1979, Henson made The Muppet Movie, which became the 61st highest-grossing movie of all time and made the song Rainbow Connection a radio hit as well as the song most attributed to the Muppets.

The fame didn’t hold up forever, however. After the box office failure of Labyrinth and the low ratings for his television shows The Storyteller and The Jim Henson Hour, Henson began negotiations to sell the company to the Walt Disney Company to save the Muppets and give him more time on the creative side of show. Less than a year later, Henson began feeling flu-like symptoms and started feeling sick and constantly tired. Early on May 15, 1990, he was having trouble breathing and began coughing up blood. His ex-wife Jane Henson was by his side and she claimed in an interview with People Magazine that Jim thought he may be dying but didn’t want to bother going to the hospital. Jane said this was likely due to his desire to “not be a bother to people.” The following day, Henson died of pneumonia.

Someone recently put the entire funeral service on YouTube. While this might be a morbid thing, it’s an incredibly touching memorial filled with Dixieland music, singing, laughing and personal stories of favorite moments with Jim. There’s this constant struggle between great sadness and intense happiness for a great man who most of us never met. Many of the comments expressed a feeling of sorrow, as if they lost a close friend and not just a random celebrity. I completely identify with those sentiments, as there has never been another celebrity whose death has left such a feeling of emptiness inside me like Jim Henson’s passing.

In the last few months, I’ve been working on an EP planned for a July 20th release titled Musicians Celebrate Jim Henson, and one of the most impressive and inspiring things about this project for me has been the outpouring of love and respect that Jim Henson still has today. This is just one person’s opinion on a great man. If you grew up on Sesame Street or Muppet Babies, if you learned how to play drums from watching Animal, if as far as you’re concerned the only true Christmas special out there is when the Muppets visit Fozzie’s grandmother, then please use the Geekscape comments and share your fondest memories of this man. And especially remember how his great influence is still significant 20 years after his death. 

The following clip is from the 1990 TV special Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson. This clips sums up the man far better than I, or anyone else, could.

 

Super-Size Me director Morgan Spurlock is supposedly teaming-up with writer/director Joss Whedon (Every show you’ve ever loved. And Dollhouse) for a documentary about San Diego Comic-Con and fanboy culture. Sources tell E! that Spurlock and Whedon are currently searching for three super geeks to follow around at this year’s Comic-Con, and the three months leading up to the mega-geek convention. No more information has been revealed at this time. Spurlock was at Comic-con last year interviewing people for the Simpsons 20th anniversary fan documentary The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice!