Ninjas are cool.

Sure, they killed people. But they were primarily spies that used incredibly intricate tactics that not even agents of shadowy, 21st-century governments have the patience or discipline to employ. Their mystery and danger have mythified them in pop culture as they have become heroes of lore, defeating demons and dragons and all kinds of bizarre creatures of fiction. Surely they would be great subjects for cinema, right?

Well, they are! But they aren’t celebrated nearly enough. Unlike samurai and kung-fu films, ninja movies tend to be clustered within “grind house” circles. While that’s perfectly fine, it also means their merits are dismissed. Film snobs grossly turn their nose up. Mention it in a film class and your professor’s eyes will glaze over. It’s hard to see a particular genre of cinema seriously when their titles evoke a Super Nintendo game than a film.

Bring up samurai in film and you’re given Akira Kurosawa, Zatoichi, or Takashi Miike’s 13 Assassins. Discuss kung-fu and you’re directed to Sammo Hung, Donnie Yen, Jackie Chan circa ’80s and ’90s. Oh, and a guy named Bruce Lee.

But when it comes to ninjas, can you name even one movie?

This weekend in New York City will be the Old School Kung-Fu Fest held by Subway Cinema, the badass nonprofit that promotes and exhibits Asian pop culture with year-round festivals and events that bridge both sides of the Pacific. This year’s festival theme? The badass, brutal killers of an era long gone by, the ninja.

While they are most notable for the New York Asian Film Festival every year, in the last few years they have unleashed the Old School Kung-Fu Festival to the delight of all action film enthusiasts living in the world’s greatest city. I recently spoke to Subway Cinema founder and Executive Director Goran Toplavoic, Co-director Samuel Jamier and Director of Operations/Associate Programmer Rufus de Rham about their upcoming festival this weekend and just what it is we find so cool about ninjas.

Old School Kung Fu Fest 2015 - Teaser Poster by Jerry Ma

Let’s start from the beginning. How did the Old School Kung-Fu fest begin? What is its origin story?

Goran: The basic idea for the Old School Kung Fu Fest was to share some of our favorite classic Hong Kong martial arts films, screened from the original 35mm prints whenever possible, with an equally appreciative audience, and to bring back the grindhouse experience reminiscent of the old 42nd Street and Chinatown theaters. The first edition was held in December of 2000 at Anthology Film Archives, right after our very first official event as Subway Cinema (Expect the Unexpected: Johnnie To Retrospective in September 2000). We sourced the prints from private collectors, and ended up with an eclectic program that included Sammo Hung’s

We sourced the prints from private collectors, and ended up with an eclectic program that included Sammo Hung’s The Victim (1980), Chang Cheh’s Crippled Avengers (1978), and Lau Kar-leung’s Martial Arts of Shaolin (1985) featuring Jet Li in one of his early roles. We did another edition in 2001, but at that point our attention was shifting towards more contemporary Asian genre films, which resulted in When Korean Cinema Attacks! (the first New York Korean Film Festival) in 2001, and the launch of the first annual New York Asian Film Festival in 2002. For the next 12 years, we have been primarily working on growing NYAFF, and there wasn’t going to be another Old School Kung Fu Fest until 2013.

Rufus: So three years ago we wanted to bring back some of the fun and focus again on what got us into Asian film in general. As NYAFF was focused more and more on the best and brightest in recent and contemporary Asian films, we needed a place to showcase our favorite classic films. Old School Kung Fu Festival was resurrected at the place where it all began: Anthology Film Archives.

Seventeen Ninja

This year will be the fifth year of the festival. In what ways has the Old School Kung-Fu fest surpassed your expectations from when you started five years ago?

Goran: There’s never been any grand ambition with respect to the Old School Kung Fu Fest. The very fact that we’re able to find these old films and show them again in a movie theater with an audience – the way they were always meant to be seen –  is already a success.In what ways has it fallen short, if at all?

In what ways has it fallen short if at all?

Goran: While the event hasn’t fallen short in any respect, we increasingly want to venture beyond just the martial arts cinema, and to explore other genres in the future editions of the fest, such as Hong Kong’s infamous Category III films, Asian action movies featuring Western actors, Indonesian exploitation, Girls with Guns, and so on.

Samuel: Yes. So maybe a move from Old School Kung Fu, to Old School Asian in general.

Revenge of the Ninja 001

This year’s theme is ninjas. How did you decide to showcase this particular genre this year?

Rufus: I was arguing for ninjas since we decided to reboot Old School. Mostly so we could showcase Five Element Ninjas (aka Chinese Super Ninjas), which has been a favorite film since I was a kid. Also ninjas are just cool. Of course they don’t quite fit in with the Old School Kung Fu label but we’ll likely be transitioning the title to plain Old School Fest, so that, as Goran mentioned, we can expand and show more classic genre films from all over Asia.

What is it about the ninja genre that you wanted to show audiences at this year’s festival? What did you want them to know about it versus other subgenres of martial arts movies? Any stereotypes you hope to shatter?

Goran: This has nothing to do with shattering stereotypes. Most of it is simply nostalgia – being able to watch again on the big screen all the fun films that we grew up with, regardless of how accurate their portrayal of ninjutsu was, and how laughable some of them may look now from the contemporary perspective. However, we also wanted to show our audience some of the more serious depictions of ninjas in the rarely seen Japanese films from the 1960s.

Five Element Ninjas 001

Ninjas in cinema certainly haven’t been shown in any historically accurate way, almost ever. Why do you think ninjas have such a mythical power in pop culture?

Rufus: Ninja clans cultivated a lot of these myths themselves, and this has been maintained through the history of art, theater, literature and film. Who doesn’t love clandestine warriors? They have become part of the national Japanese folklore, and much of the exaggeration is in the same vein as any national myth building (the US and cowboys, for example).

Samuel: The appearance, the outfit, the mask, the esoteric martial arts practice certainly contributed to their mythical power. Visually it’s quite striking.

Why do you think ninjas are not as prevalent in the cinema the way other genres are? Samurai movies are hailed by critics and kung-fu smashes the box office. Why then are ninjas a part of the “grind house” culture?

Rufus: I think they are extremely prevalent, but maybe not as critically lauded. Why? One word. Cannon. This is really where the ninjas and grindhouse came from. Also I suppose Godfrey Ho did his noble part in the ninja grindhouse experience. Also you have to take into account Teenage Mutant Ninjas Turtles (1990) which was, for a long time, the most successful independent film ever made. The four heroes in a half-shell exploded ninja culture in a way that it became super successful, but it was also seen maybe as a juvenile fantasy. Anime took off at the same time and it was filled with ninjas and now we live in an age where one of the best selling series of all time is Naruto.

Enter the Ninja 002

What movies are you most excited about this year? Any personal favorites?

Rufus: I’m most excited to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen. Also Five Element Ninjas is going to be great. I’m very much looking forward to the rarities like Seventeen Ninjas and the Shinobi no Mono films.

Samuel: Seventeen NinjaShinobi no Mono, and Shinobi no Mono 2. These are pretty realistic ninja films, rarely theatrically screened, and are actually incredible films. So for those that want a break from elemental powers and the supernatural these are the films for you!

Goran: Definitely Five Element Ninjas, which is arguable director Chang Cheh’s masterpiece – we got a nice looking 35mm print from Dan Halstead, who’s a programmer and print collector at Hollywood Theater in Portland. Also Duel to the Death, which features giant ninjas! – it was the first film from one of Hong Kong’s great action directors, Ching Siu-tung, who later went on to work on A Chinese Ghost StorySwordsman IIHero, and House of Flying Daggers.

Ninja III poster

What was the hardest movie to secure for screening?

Samuel: Seventeen Ninja!

Goran: We also tried hard to find Corey Yuen’s Ninja in the Dragon’s Den (1982), starring Hiroyuki Sanada and Conan Lee, but we had to give up in the end. One trail lead us to the Brussels Film Archive, but the print they had was in too poor of a condition to be screened.

Samuel: And speaking of films we didn’t get: Ninja Scroll. It was too expensive.

I cannot for the life of me guess the movie that is the “Super Special Secret Screening.” Can you drop us any more hints? Pretty please?

That’s why it’s called Super Special Secret Screening!

Revenge of the Ninja poster

The full schedule of films can be found on Subway Cinema’s website here. I can’t wait to see all you New York ninja freaks this weekend and next! Count me in for Five Element Ninjas, Ninja Turtles, and Seventeen Ninja.

Any guesses as to what the secret screening will be?

As long as there have been stories, there have been white people out to prove that they are better at doing whatever it is the people in those stories are doing. And as long as there have been white people that love martial arts, there have been white dudes hanging around the Asian dudes in martial arts stories. Sometimes they’re the hero. Sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they’re awesome at martial arts. Sometimes they’ve got no kung fu at all. And sometimes they’re white, but Hollywood wants you to think that they’re not because no one wanted to hire a Chinese guy for their Chinese guy story.

Here are the best, worst, and most memorable white dudes that the world of fictional martial arts has to offer.

Glacier (WCW)

Pro Wrestling has a long tradition of trying to pinpoint things that are cool in pop culture and incorporating them into the squared circle. Like when Robocop rescued Sting in WCW, or when the WWF pushed wearing leather fanny packs into the main event scene. In the late 90’s, WCW decided that the best way to keep winning the Monday Night Wars was to borrow heavily from the hit video game Mortal Kombat and debuted GLACIER, because nothing screams ‘future of the business’ like a guy in a Sub Zero costume doing sidekicks in the middle of Rupp Arena. WCW spent millions on this white ninja’s entrance, which included laser lights and and synthetic snow. Glacier makes the list because he is the ultimate worst example of white guy Martial Arts: a bunch of white southern guys with no real reference to what makes martial arts great outside of ‘my kid likes this immortal combat game’ trying to create a live action martial arts epic in Hulk Hogan’s backyard. It went GREAT.

Ninja Master Gordon (Cobra vs. Ninja)

The tale of actor Richard Harrison is an interesting one: he was known for his B movie spaghetti westerns when he signed on to do a ninja movie with director Godfrey Ho to cash in on the late 80’s ninja craze, AKA my defining years. Without his knowledge, his scenes were cut up and placed into more than a dozen terrible martial art movies like Cobra vs. Ninja and Ninja Avengers, all billing him as the star. In the IMDB age, I now know of the tragic scam that killed Harrison’s career. But when I was a kid, I only knew him as Ninja Master Gordon, the dude in the bad ass ninja costume that said ‘ninja’ on it that once visited a place called The Unicorn Village.

Billy and Jimmy Lee (Double Dragon)

Talk about handing everything kids in the late’s 80’s/early 90’s loved on a roundhouse kicking platter: punching dudes in the woods, sleeveless vests, and sweet double team moves. Double Dragon was total wish fulfillment for 10 year old boys: if a guy showed up with a weapon you didn’t own, you got to beat the crap out of him and steal it. If you beat the game in co-op mode, Billy and Jimmy fought each other to see who got to bang the chick they just rescued: just like most things involving ten year olds, the game devolves into an argument over who gets to play with the Turtle Blimp.

Also, if you can score 50,000 in Double Dragon, Fred Savage is going to think you’re a pretty big deal.

Roper (Enter the Dragon)

Unlike a lot of white dudes on this list, Roper got to pal around with Bruce Lee. He’s also a fun turncoat character, being tempted with a role in a massive drug trade, as opposed to just being a dude with no sleeves on his vest that’s like ‘you kidnapped my girlfriend! NUNCHUCKS!’ He chooses the Bruce Lee path and the two take an awesome stand in one of the best third act sequences in a martial arts film.

White guys can’t kick, but they can give the best damn thumbs up on the planet. MURICA!

Haggar (Final Fight)

I’ll let Wikipedia’s explanation speak for itself, because I can’t write anything nearly as good:

Chronologically set during the time of the original Street Fighter, Final Fight is set in the fictional American metropolis of Metro City, based on New York City. A former professional wrestler named Mike Haggar is elected as the new Mayor of the city, promising to handle the city’s criminal problem in his campaign. The Mad Gear gang, the dominant criminal organization of the city, plots to bring Haggar under their control by kidnapping his daughter Jessica and using her as leverage against him. Enlisting the help of Cody, Jessica’s boyfriend and an experienced brawler himself, as well as Cody’s sparring partner, a ninja named Guy, Haggar opts to fight the gang instead in order to save his daughter.

Look at this guy’s resume. Haggar may not be the most popular guy on the list but he’s the most accomplished. A pro wrestling champion turned POTUS turned shirtless vigilante? He’s Brock Lesner, Barack Obama, and Batman rolled into one guy. You kids work as hard as Haggar and you can eat all the hamhocks you can find.

Kwai Chang Kaine (Kung Fu)

White people love kung fu but they haven’t always loved Chinese people. The solution? Get David Carradine to kind of squint a little. Carradine was able to spin an entire career out of being the white guy in Martial Arts films. It’s not because he’s particularly good at kung fu. It’s because part of what white people love about martial arts is the mysticism, and what Dave lacked in being Chinese he more than made up for with beads, feathers, and fringy handmade jackets with dream catchers sewn into the collars. Also, a mysterious ninja death cult staged his death to look like he had died jerking off while strangling himself. MYSTICISM.

Joe Armstrong (American Ninja)

Does anyone even remember the origin story for Joe Armstrong? I sure as hell don’t. I know he’s a ninja and he’s in the army and do we really need to know anything else? Joe Armstrong makes the list for single handedly carrying video rental chains through the 80’s. A ninja concerned with the success of small business? HOW AMERICAN.

Ken Masters (Street Fighter)

The ultimate white guy in martial arts video games: Ken Masters is the standard bearer. He’s a white guy that grew up with and trained in martial arts with a Japanese guy and they were like brothers and then the white guy became a Hollywood star but he never forgot his roots and when his Japanese brother needed him he tore the sleeves right off his gi and brought his hadukens to the party. Johnny Cage fan? GTFO.

Remember the Chun Li shower scene in this movie? Remember your buddy that was convinced you could buy an x rated version at the flea market?

Danny Rand (Invincible Iron Fist)

Danny Rand is amazing. He’s like Batman, but he’s not an unlikable prick. And instead of all that crap about needing a symbol, he was just like ‘eh, the kung fu is enough.’ Also, whereas Batman was like ‘ughhh my parents are deeeeead’ Iron Fist punched an ancient and powerful dragon in the heart.

I love Iron Fist. He’s my favorite Marvel super hero. If you haven’t read Brubaker and Fraction’s run of Iron Fist with David Aja, you should, because it’s pretty much perfect. It’s a fantastic mix of martial arts, Kung Fu mysticism, steampunk, Shaft, and dragons. In fact, it should be #1 on this list. #1 only has a few edges over it, and the big one is this: at the end of the day, Iron Fist is a prime example of ‘the white guy is best at it.’ It’s a testament to how good a read Invincible Iron First was that you can ignore it, but it’s kind of hard to ignore when comparing him to…

Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China)

Big Trouble in Little China is the perfect ‘white guy involved with Asian stuff’ movie. Jack is cocky, arrogant, handsome, occasionally lucky, and otherwise worthless. He’s a truck driver. He’s got no connection to the mystic Chinese martial arts underworld: he just wants to help his Chinese buddy Wang out and hopefully get his truck back. Plus, let Wang die? Not when the guy owes him nothing or double.

Jack doesn’t suddenly become better at the Chinese at what they do. Aside from one amazingly lucky moment (it’s all in the reflexes), he’s completely worthless. And yet, he manages to be a hero out of sheer awesomeness and bravery, or stubbornness and being an idiot, if you’d prefer. Like Iron Fist, Big Trouble is a ridiculous tale of Chinese mysticism in the Western World, but instead of the heir of a billion dollar corporation trained since birth to be King of the Chinese Guys, it’s a story that spotlights a typical blue collar American with a mullet that suddenly has to deal with the implications of an ancient Chinese gang war. He is as awed by his good friend Wang Chi’s martial prowess and of Egg Chen’s sorcery as we are, and instead of a sudden mastery of another culture’s skill, only three things get him out alive: luck, crackerjack timing, and a six demon bag. It’s by doing his best to help the martial arts masters, not becoming one, that he and Wang Chi are able to beat the bad guys, and really shake the pillars of heaven.