What you’re about to see is nothing short of the greatest thing you will see all day, courtesy from our friends at Dan’s (Toku) Rants.
A failed TV pilot pitch, Sirens was to be a modern sci-fi/fantasy show similar to Buffy the Vampire Slayer but way more bizarre and awesome in the most ridiculous of ways. The premise? A trio of pop singers that are secretly mermaids THAT KNOW KARATE must stop an aquatic alien invasion. Have your eyeballs exploded from reading that sentence? Did you go into shock at “karate mermaids”? Just wait, because the pilot stars Brad Hawkins (VR Troopers, Richard Linklater’s Boyhood), Jason David Frank (“Tommy” from Power Rangers), and Fergie.
Yes, THAT Fergie.
You need to see this right now.
How this wasn’t picked up is beyond my comprehension.
Long before Fergie sang about her lovely lady humps, she was Stacy Ferguson in the R&B/pop group Wild Orchids. They were moderately successful: they released four studio albums, toured with *NSYNC and were named by US Weekly as the #18 Best Girl Group of all time in 2013. But at some point during the group’s lifespan, they almost went into television and Sirens was to be their ship. A little ironic, no?
The project was helmed by Power Rangers producers Doug Sloan and Ann Austen, which explains Frank and Hawkins’ involvement. For a particular brand of geek, seeing these two share a screen is downright fascinating: it’s the leader of the VR Troopers fighting the leader of the Power Rangers! And the Power Ranger is a bad guy! Seriously, if Sirens was picked up, everyone’s childhood hero could have had a run at being the ruthless, cocky muscle for a villain several notches below Lord Zedd. This is the real loss of Sirens. “Get the hell off my car!” could be the next meme in the Power Rangers fandom if this goes viral.
Also involved was renowned effects director Steve Wang. His work is on display with those creature designs. Wang is renowned in certain circles, and you’ve seen his work: He created the Predator. Elsewhere, Wang directed the cult classic Guyver 2: Dark Hero and the Emmy-winning series Kamen Rider Dragon Knight. You might think I’m kidding with that Emmy, but I’m not. He also directed one of the most popular and unique Power Rangers episodes of all time, “The Rescue Mission,” from the Lost Galaxy series.
The creation of Sirens is bizarre purely because of the talent involved. It was put together like any other show normally is, but the cross section of boys’ action TV and pre-teen/teen pop is unlike anything seen before and since. Imagine if the Marvel movies had a project involving Iggy Azalea. Who is it for? But hey, that was just Billy Clinton’s carefree ’90s.
Full disclosure: I have seen this before. In 2012, I went to No Pink Spandex Live! in New York City which was an intimate meet-and-greet with Jason David Frank. It was really cool being just inches to JDF, who at the time was just getting into the convention scene. At NPS Live, Frank provided a screening of this very pilot pitch, and for the life of me I wish I remembered more of what he said about it. There was nothing scandalous or controversial in the creation of this pilot, as I recall it was very run of the mill. It’s just noteworthy because of who’s in it. (Although I do recall Frank discussing a strained relationship after Sirens with Sloan and Austen, his Power Rangers producers.)
Sirens isn’t a secret, it’s just obscure of the highest order. Brad Hawkins, the male lead of this awesomely woman-dominated show, has talked about it in an episode of the Dan’s (Toku) Rants podcast:
“Yeah, Fergie. I was actually really excited about that. She was in a band called Wild Orchid … I just knew there were three hot chicks in this series and me and Jason get to fight a little bit and that’s kinda fun. But it was awesomely terrible, it really is. It’s terrible. But the girls did good. I mean we used the same stunt team from Power Rangers so it was a lot of spinning and kicking, martial arts and stuff. But it just didn’t get the green light and you know Fergie was so depressed she got in a band called the Black Eyed Peas and they just kinda made a zillion dollars and became super stars. So you know, it all worked out.”
The road less traveled will always be the road that fascinates me the most. I hold no delusions: even if Sirens was picked up, its strange premise would have cornered it and it could have been just as quickly forgotten and as obscure as VR Troopers is now. That’s not a knock on Brad or anybody from that show, because even Brad knows how little that show is remembered.
But Sirens remains a delightful anomaly. At the time Sirens was being produced, the audience for Power Rangers were growing up into their teens. At that age, all kids look for something darker, edgier and sexier, so Sirens could have had a real audience. It had all the action those kids were used to, but turned up a notch by virtue of just not being Power Rangers. It had beautiful women, so the puberty kickstarted by Pink and Yellow Rangers (and Kaitlin Hall, because come on, VR Troopers!) just goes into overdrive.
Probably most important, these were ass-kicking MERMAIDS. This was an action-heavy show starring girls whose target audience were probably girls right from the start! It’s honestly hard to tell that from the pilot, but akin to Buffy, Sirens had a magic formula that could have made it appealing across the youth demographic quadrants.
Also at the height of this era were pop bands, those boy and girl groups of yesteryear that dominated the charts. Clearly this show had no shortage of that. It’s so weird and goofy, but if it had the chance maybe Sirens really could have been big.
Who knows what other projects featuring similarly polarizing figures in pop culture have fallen by the wayside?