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Last year at the Long Beach Comic and Horror Con, I was introduced to an animated version The Grimm Fairy Tales. They were doing a kickstarter campaign at the time and have since met their goal! Their panel at Comikaze started off with a humorous warning by Jon Schnepp, the series/film’s director, who made it clear this animated project was not for kids by swearing up a storm. Pretty much, “if you don’t like swearing and violence, get the f**k out!” Only a couple of people left the room and the rest of us laughed at the effective warning.

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I said series/film because currently The Grimm Fairy Tales has one pilot episode but they would love to make more episodes or work on a feature. They are currently looking into getting on a network with either the series or a film. Animation costs money and being with a network would be a big step for this project. It did seem like Schnepp would prefer a series because “TV has so much freedom…Make what you want and more.” Another benefit of doing a series he pointed out was that you can do what many of us already do via Netflix, binge watch. Who doesn’t love watching episodes back to back to back?! Also, a series would provide the opportunity to do many more stories utilizing the tons of material available (Zenescope‘s “Grimm Fairy Tales” comics recently released issue 75!).

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The “heart of it is very similar to the comics,” said Joe Brusha in regards to the animated The Grimm Fairy Tales. Several different artists/animators worked on various parts of the story and characters. If, and when, they continue the series, new and old artists will be incorporated just like the pilot. The art style does vary from the comics but it still has that sex appeal. The animation for the pilot is somewhere between stop motion comics and Archer. Schnepp mentioned how he had control over the style choice and they chose that particular method (effectively digital puppetry) because it was “economically the best way to do it”; though he would have wanted a more fluid style. After watching it, however, I think the style aids the comic book aspect of the show. I don’t personally care much for motion comics but this had a cool style unto its own.

A common problem they have run into is that most people assume since it is animated that it is for kids, or if they said no, it is an adult cartoon then people assume it is porn. No, this is a cartoon made by adults for adults. Schnepp recalled the inception of the project as he just wanted to “make something for adults that I would want to see.” If you like cartoons for adults like Heavy Metal, Fire and Ice, Wizards, etc. then you need to check out The Grimm Fairy Tales!

Check out the trailer below to get a feel for the show!

Another solid episode this week, Grimm fans. One that didn’t even feel like an hour (causing us to cry out when the credits rolled “but, we want more!”).

“PTZD” picks up right where last week’s episode left off, with Monroe and Hank chasing Nick’s scent through the woods, while Nick busily begins terrorizing some random family (who luckily have their address right on their mailbox, which proves helpful when Hank calls in for back-up).

avid Giuntoli as Nick Burkhardt, definitely the worse for the wear(Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)
Photo by: Scott Green/NBC
David Giuntoli as Nick Burkhardt, definitely the worse for the wear.

The Beast Within

Hank and Monroe get there right before the Random Family Father can shoot Nick (a totally understandable response since Nick had just bashed his way through the front door). Nick’s super-senses (hinted at last week) are revealed when he catches a vase thrown at his head by Hank (in an effort to distract Nick from hurting the Random Family).

Now, what Nick was actually going to do to the family (eat them? Kill them?) isn’t clear, because last week—and later in this episode—it’s made very clear that even violent Nick was only reacting to clear threat. But a Random Family being threatened certainly raised the stakes, though, because two little girls and a mother are much more sympathetic potential victims then hardened petty criminals in a road house.

Monroe and Hank get Nick to follow them by throwing things at Nick’s head and making noise, and get him out to the barn, where they trap Nick in a stall (using the old weak-floor-in-the-hayloft-as-trap-door trick).

Renard, Juliette and Rosalee show up (Hank having called Renard once they found Nick); they calm down Random Family Father, who comes running out with his gun, and Renard and Hank began the-protect-Nick-cover-up which permeates the rest of the episode by telling Random Family Father that they were in pursuit of patient zero of the recent outbreak (the zombie thing, and good use of last season’s medical ‘explanation’),  Thomas Shirach (the identity the evil brother, Eric, had set up for Nick).

Random Family Father goes back inside after refusing to give up his gun—a plot point that never goes anywhere, despite a two-minute long conversation about it, which was slightly confusing. Usually writers don’t spend that long on an item to then have it go nowhere. Renard, Hank and Monroe go back inside the barn after telling the women to ‘stay outside.’ The blatant sexism made our eyes roll (has anyone else noticed that except for one episode with a visiting cop, and the occasional uniform, ALL the police officers in Portland are apparently men?)

Clearly not happy with the whole getting-locked-in-a-horse-stall. (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)
Clearly not happy with the whole getting-locked-in-a-horse-stall. bit.
(Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)

Points for Trying, Guys

So the men go in just as Nick breaks free from the stall—but there’s enough time for some repartee between Renard, Hank and Monroe (leading to the best line of the night):

As Renard moves to fight Nick:

Monroe: Not like this, I tried.

They morph into their Wesen shapes. Hank shudders.

Renard: (to Hank): You okay?

Hank: Man, I wish I could do that.

Ha! Awesome. Totally unexpected but somehow perfect for Hank’s character.

The three proceed to get the crap beat out of them by Nick before Juliette—who, along with Rosalee, had come into the barn anyway—stabs him with the crazy needle of de-zombie-fication. Which has three 3-inch long needles and apparently needs to get plunged into the patient’s sternum/stomach area. Not like there’s any important organs there or anything they could puncture…

Nick reacts the way any person would react after being stabbed in the abdomen with three 3-inch needles—he flings Juliette away from him. So now there’s the ‘I hit my girlfriend’ angst we can refer to all season.

The drugs kick in and Nick goes down for the count. Point here: if they knew he was going to be zombie-crazy, why didn’t they bring tranquilizers? We asked this last week, and we ask it again: does Portland not have ANY tranq guns?

They rush Nick back to the Spice shop—noting en route that he’s very cold, and his pulse his very slow—just before the local cops show up. Monroe points out to Renard that someone needs to make sure Prince Eric gets his due.

GRIMM -- "PTZD" Episode 302 -- Pictured: (l-r) Claire Coffee as Adalind Schade, Shohreh Aghdashloo as Stefania  Photo by: Scott Green/NBC
GRIMM — “PTZD” Episode 302 — Pictured: (l-r) Claire Coffee as Adalind Schade, Shohreh Aghdashloo as Stefania
Photo by: Scott Green/NBC

Let’s Not Forget the Witch

Back to Europe, Stefenia and Adalind return to Stefenia’s trailer, where the gutted body of Frau Pech still lies on the floor. Stefanie instructs Adalind to place the dead flowers she collected into the now-empty body cavity. Adalind, rebellious but complying, goes to kneel when the flowers fly out and fill the body themselves. Now, says Stefenia, sew up the incision.

At the spice shop, Nick gets a second dose—lancing his spleen, this time—and starts to come to. Juliette and Rosalee act concerned; Renard goes back to the precinct; Monroe and Hank discuss what they’d do to Prince Eric if he was their brother; Nick’s flailing gets alarming and the cuff him to the bed.

In Stefenia’s trailer, Adalind has to cut the thread (so gross, covered in goopy blood thread, that we had to put a picture in) with her teeth. Steam comes out of the body—the process, whatever it is, is working faster than Stefenia thought.

Ew. Ew. Ew.
Ew. Ew. Ew.

Renard gets a text telling him to check the news—where the death of Eric Renard in a tragic car accident is being reported. Since the actor—James Frain—is now on Sleepy Hollow, supposedly this death is a real one.

Back at the Spice Shop, Rosalee is tending to Monroe’s wounds (their light, comfortable-couple banter makes this the second best scene of the night) while Juliette dabs Nicks brow with a cool cloth, we guess. Because an apothecary is so much more qualified to clean deep head wounds than a vet, who we can assume was at least taught how to do real stitches…

Anyway, Nick wakes up, confused, and with no memory of the night before. The gang fills him in, finishing with the small comfort of ‘at least you didn’t kill anyone.’

So, yeah, obviously, someone from his rampage is going to die soon.

Everyone hovers over Nick because they are CONCERNED. Except Renard... Courtesy of NBC Universal
Everyone hovers over Nick because they are CONCERNED. Except Renard…
Courtesy of NBC Universal

More Relatives We Didn’t Know Existed

Renard calls (gets a call from?) someone we assume is related, who is on a train in Europe going on a ‘vacation’ separate from the ‘family.’ And then Wu walks in—sure enough, one of the guys in the fight just died at the hospital. Renard confirms the Thomas Shirach identity as the culprit and asks about security footage.

None, says, Wu, the drive was destroyed.

Wu leaves and Renard pulls out a hard drive—which has the footage on it. Flashback to the night before: when Monroe and Hank went after Nick, Renard went looking for the footage, stealing it and trashing the office.

Renard watches the footage intently, then hides the drive in his desk. To use as blackmail later? We don’t know, but the sense that Renard is an ally only for as long as it is convenient for him is pretty well hinted at.

Nick is freaking out in the Spice Shop, wondering if he’s going to get caught and what defense he can use. None, the gang reasons, not without coming clean about the Wesen and being a Grimm, etc. etc.

Sidenote: Our understanding of current law is that if you can prove you were non compos mentis through no fault of your own—i.e., suffering from a severe neurotoxin injected into you against your will, or even just infected from repeated exposure—then there is no case. Plus, Nick is an outstanding cop with no record. There’s really no way a DA would pursue this case. To not at least bring this up and explain why it wouldn’t work leaves a GAPING hole in the episode, which, judging from how it ends, means Nick’s angst for the season will also have a hole in it.

Juliette takes Nick home; there’s an awkward moment when he comes onto her (“I’d rather not sleep alone,” he says, complete with a slightly-smarmy grin). Considering what they’ve just been through in the past 24 hours (not to mention ALL of last season) it felt odd and didn’t resonate with their relationship. As much as we are not fans of the way this show utilizes Juliette, her and Nick’s relationship was, at one point in season one, maybe, a really nice relationship to watch.

Hank goes back to the station and doesn’t lie to Wu, exactly, but stretches the truth pretty hard when he assures Wu Nick was at the shipyard the night before. Wu tells Hank that one of the victims from the bar died—sending Hank straight to Renard’s office. Renard and Hank agree they need a cover story that Juliette, Rosalee and Renard can tell to the detectives investigating the death.

Hank calls Juliette and tells her a man is dead—can she meet at the Spice shop? And let Nick sleep, he needs it.

So Juliette—who has medical training of a kind—leaves the man who less than eight hours was a red-eyed zombie and had two doses of a drug they weren’t sure of the effects of when it came to Grimms ALL ALONE. Not even a note of where she had gone.

Bitsie Tulloch—the actress who plays Juliette—does her best with this role but it’s just not being utilized well.

Rosalee and Monroe in the Spice Shop. Courtesy of NBC Universal
Rosalee and Monroe in the Spice Shop.
Courtesy of NBC Universal

They’ll Totally Believe It

Juliette arrives at the Spice Shop and her, Hank, Renard, Monroe and Rosalee all agree to cover for Nick. No one mentions the Random Family, only the bar and the security footage there. Which means they never discuss covering for how Hank and Monroe were there, or where they took ‘Shirach.’ Now, police responded to a 911 call to the house which wasn’t immediately linked to the bar brawl but someone should put that together, right?

Anyway, cover story agreed upon, everyone goes their separate ways.

Hank and Renard go back to the precinct, where Hank figures out Renard has the security footage. Confronted, Renard insists it was to keep Nick safe.

Juliette returns home to find Nick cold, with no pulse. As she dials 911, Nick’s color returns (a nice bit of movie magic there) and he wakes up. After he calms Juliette down and agrees to go to a doctor, they both go back to sleep.

GRIMM -- "PTZD" Episode 302 -- Pictured: Sasha Roiz as Captain Renard -- (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)
GRIMM — “PTZD” Episode 302 — Pictured: Sasha Roiz as Captain Renard — (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)

All The Fun Stuff Happens in Europe

Meanwhile, Stefenia and Adalind are having super fun times in the trailer; Stefenia cuts open Frau and a red goo oozes out; Adalind must (with her hands) fill a jar with the goo. Ew.

At the Spice Shop, the detectives show up and question Rosalee. She sticks to the story.

Adalind, back in her hotel and clean for the first time in two episodes, drops a towel (a VERY nicely placed chair covered the R-rated bits) and rubs the goo from Frau on her belly. It’s absorbed, leaving a shape of a skull on her skin. Adalind grins.

The detectives move on to Juliette—and that’s when Nick finds out one of the men he attacked has died. After they leave—Juliette sticking to the story as well—Nick insists on coming clean.

Why Juliette, who KNEW the police were coming, and had enough time to get dressed and make coffee, didn’t tell Nick or get Nick out of the house, or something, I don’t know.

Nick rushes to the precinct intent on confessing; even Hank, telling him that to confess would get all the Scooby gang in trouble, can’t stop him.

Renard receives a call from his mother, who thanks him for killing Prince Eric. O-o-o-o, what plots twists are going to come from that? Just as he hangs up, Nick comes in—apparently the two detectives on the case took longer to get back to the precinct then Nick did—and Renard shows Nick the security footage. The guy that died had come at Nick with a knife—Nick’s violence, while extreme, was somewhat mitigated by the fact that it had been provoked.

Nick, torn, finally decides to keep quiet.

Not from this episode, but here's Nick, looking torn. Photo by: Scott Green/NBC
Not from this episode, but here’s Nick, looking torn.
Photo by: Scott Green/NBC

All’s Well That’s Resolved by the End of The Episode?

The episode cleaned up a lot of loose threads from last season and placed some interesting new factors in play, and for the most part did it well. The angst-y acting (never the show’s strongest spot) should hopefully be on hold for a while as the show goes back to its procedural-of-the-week mode.

Next week on “A Dish Best Served Cold”  it’s blutbaden versus bauerschwein (wolves versus pigs) and it looks like Nick is forced to shoot Monroe!?! Though clever teaser editing may be all that turns out to be.

Next week’s recap will be out later in the week as well, as your friendly writer will be covering BlizzCon all weekend.

http://www.nbc.com/grimm/video/ptzd/n42591/

Ah, Grimm. How we missed you! Welcome back!

Grimm, which premiered on Friday, Oct. 25th—just in time for Halloween—is a great show that not enough people are watching, and if  last night’s episode was any indication, season three could prove to be the best season yet.

The season two finale left our heroes separated; Detective/Grimm Nick Burkhardt (David Giuntoli) is captured by Baron Samedi and the Captain Renard’s evil half-brother Eric (who is a Prince of the mysterious Royal family) and being whisked away to Europe while Juliette (Bitsie Tulloch), Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell) and Rosalee (Bree Turner) are trapped by ‘zombies’ in an container yard.

Where we left our Scooby gang last week. Courtesy of NBC Unviersal
Where we left our Scooby gang last season.
Courtesy of NBC Unviersal

Just UnDead Enough To Be a Problem

Now, we already know the zombies aren’t your typical undead, rather, they are suffering the effects of a poison spit out by the supernatural Wesen, Baron Samedi, which knocks them out, mimicking death. When they awake, they are in a violent, fugue state which results in death if not treated.

So a crowd of just-zombied-enough-to-be-a-hazard people are attacking our loyal Scooby gang, and Captain Renard (Sasha Roiz) arrives too late to save Nick—so it’s definitely time to call in the cavalry.

Which Juliette does (the ONLY helpful thing she’s done in the past two seasons, seriously) by calling Nick’s partner, Hank (Russell Hornsby—finally off the crutches). Hank has no questions (it is SO NICE that all our main characters are now sharing information) and immediately pulls in Sergeant Wu (Reggie Lee) to wrangle the posse and head out to the container yard.

Meanwhile, in Europe, Gypsy witch and black-market purveyor Stefania Vaduva Popescu (Shohreh Aghdashloo) finishes ripping the still-beating heart out of Frau Pech (Mary McDonald-Lewis) and seals it in a puzzle box of sorts. She calls in Adalind (Claire Coffee), who has grown on us during season two, and was particularly charming in her I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this-why-is-magic-so-dirty attitude this episode. Stefania informs Adalind that if Adalind wishes to have her Hexenbiest powers restored, she will cut off Frau Pech’s hands and feet. With a moue of distaste, Adalind kneels down, blade in hand.

Monroe, Rosalee and Juliette's situation  going from bad to worse in episode 2.
Monroe, Rosalee and Juliette’s situation going from bad to worse in episode 2.

How’d you get up there? Why Didn’t You Move the Stairs??

Hank and the cavalry arrive just in time to rescue Rosalee, Monroe and Juliette; the police begin rounding up the zombies and placing them in an empty shipping container (amazingly, an empty shipping container was just right next to where all the zombies were. Handy, that); Renard finds the container where Nick was taken, but before he can search for clues is attacked by zombies himself.

He goes partial-Hexenbiest on them, and dispatches three in short order just as a phone rings—Hank, calling Nick’s phone.

Renard meets up with Hank and the rest of the gang, and they compare notes. Juliette pouts about not finding Nick fast enough (really, has she NO skills?) while the police continue rounding up zombies (has the Portland PD never heard of tranq darts???).

Knowing that Eric wants Nick in Vienna—which means a plane—everybody jumps in Nick’s car and heads to the airport while Hank frantically calls the Airport Police. After discovering there is a plane under Baron Samedi’s name (apparently no need for an alias after you’ve just kidnapped a cop and murdered a bunch of people), Hank directs the airport security to approach with caution and to not let any plane take off.

Rosalee brings up the interesting factoid that no one knows how Nick—a Grimm—will react to the Baron’s poison. Since Nick isn’t exactly normal.

 

GRIMM -- Season: 3 -- Pictured: (l-r) David Giuntoli as Nick Burkhardt -- (Photo by: Ben Cohen/NBC)
Seriously not normal.
GRIMM — Season: 3 — Pictured: (l-r) David Giuntoli as Nick Burkhardt — (Photo by: Ben Cohen/NBC)

Airport Police To The Rescue…Oh, Wait…

Well, of course, the airport police show up (just two of them) and immediately separate, one going inside to ‘search’ and the other staying outside to chat with the Baron. So, of course, he gets zapped with the green poison ooze. His screams bring his partner out—and he, following the police procedure of we-can’t-actually-arrest-the-bad-guy-because-then-the-show-will-be-over, runs right past the Baron to his downed partner, and of course, gets slimed/oozed himself.

The plane takes off just as Hank et al get there. Juliette, per her usual function, stomps her foot and screams no, no, no, and then, showing an AMAZING lack of knowledge of police procedure for a women who lives with a cop, demands Renard stop the place. Then she slaps him, because that’s a how a strong woman goes about saving her man—slapping the people who are helping and demanding that they ‘get him back.’

Juliette is reprieved from being told to grow up, stop being a child, and if she has any helpful solutions she is welcome to bring those up (sorry, that’s our fantasy of what Renard was about to say after she slapped him) by Sergeant Chu calling Hank—the zombies are all rounded up, now what do they do?

Well, Rosalee has a handy-dandy antidote they know works, but they need to make more. Renard will check with the FAA to see if the plane logged a flight plan (which even we know private planes don’t have to do…) and everyone heads back to the car—except for Monroe, who points out the two unconscious cops. Since they can’t be treated yet, the cops get thrown into the back of the car for later (we never see them again, but we assume they got cured and went home and had pot roast for dinner).

Nick wakes up, undead and seriously unhappy. Courtesy of NBC Unviersal
Nick wakes up, undead and seriously unhappy.
Courtesy of NBC Unviersal

I’m Not Dead Yet

Cut to the Baron’s plane, where the Baron is drinking bottled water (??) and gloating over the not-quite-dead Grimm in his metal coffin. Now, audience, Rosalee has already told us that a Grimm might react differently, so we know something is going to happen—and sure enough, the coffin starts to rattle.

Then it starts to shake, as Nick punches the steel into new shapes. The Baron, not worried yet, leans over the coffin, and when Nick forces the lid up, the Baron spits more poisonous goo. Nick slumps, the Baron, chuckling, walks away—and then Nick’s eyes open.

He attacks the Baron, and then a hapless co-pilot, which takes the fight into the cockpit—the plane starts to crash.

Back to Europe, where Adalind has dulled her knife hacking off Frau Pech’s hands. Stefania takes her to a lovely field of poppies and throws the lid of the puzzle box into the air, where it hovers, magically, for a moment, before landing.

Handing Adalind a spade made of a human foot (we think), Stefania bids her dig.

Back to the plane; Baron Samedi tries to regain control of Nick by chanting “Obey me, for I am your master.” Which doesn’t work at all. Nick throws him across the cock pit and the plane goes down in the forests of Oregon.

 

Adalind being directed to dig by Stefinia (off screen). Courtesy of NBC Unviersal
Adalind getting her hands dirty for the sake of regaining her powers.

To the Tea Shop!

Meanwhile, Monroe, Rosalee and Juliette are back at the tea and spice shop, debating what to do. Juliette wants to fly to Vienna and get Nick. Monroe agrees with her—though at least he backs his argument up with a few thoughts (1) he doesn’t trust Renard and (2) they could get all of the Wesen Nick’s helped to assist.

Rosalee frets about how to inject the antidote into the dozens of zombie both in time and without getting hurt; Juliette remembers she’s a vet and probably took a chemistry class or two and comes up with the idea of making it into a gas (it takes them an unbelieving LONG time to get to that conclusion…)

Renard, back at the police station, orders his mole in the Royal family to kill Eric when Eric lands; there is a yes-we-already-knew-that bit of ex positional dialogue between Hank and Renard where the importance of saving Nick is again brought up.

At the crash site, a red-eyed, bloody and clearly not himself Nick pulls himself out of the wreckage and stumbles into the woods, leaving behind a dead Baron and two injured pilots.

Back at the container yard, Chu is having all the fun rounding up one-off zombies and putting them into the container. Monroe, Juliette and Rosalee show up with the treatment—Monroe, showing his innate knowledge of tactics, suggest making noise at the not-the-door-end of the container to distract the zombies so that Juliette and Rosalee can throw the antidote in, leading to the best line of the night (courtesy of Monroe), in response to knowing if the treatment worked: “I don’t know, I think it’s kind of like popcorn. You know it’s done with they stop making noise.”

GRIMM -- "The Ungrateful Dead" Episode 301 -- Pictured: (l-r) Bitsie Tulloch as Juliette Silverton, Bree Turner as Rosalee Calvert -- (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)
GRIMM — “The Ungrateful Dead” Episode 301 — Pictured: (l-r) Bitsie Tulloch as Juliette Silverton, Bree Turner as Rosalee Calvert — (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)

Grimm Crash Plane. Grimm Smash!

Back at the precinct, Hank gets the plane-crash call; Nick stumbles out of the woods to find a conveniently placed roadhouse filled with a central-casting assortment of tough characters.

Chu opens the container to find a bunch of confused, bruised and frightened—but cured—people, just as Hank calls Monroe. Juliette, continuing her taking-a-stand-on-things-that-don’t-matter, insists Monroe put it on speaker phone. Hank tells them all that the plane has crashed.

Renard and Hank arrive at the crash site first, to find the Baron’s body but no Nick. Seeing the punch marks on the steel coffin, they realize that they may now be not so much rescuing Nick as rescuing other people from Nick. Hank calls the local police to request any 911 calls get copied to him.

Nick, senses inundated by the noise of the bar, attacks the first guy in his way, and then just keeps going. His senses are super-attuned; he can hear people’s heart as they attack from behind him. Terrified customers flee.

Monroe, Juliette and Rosalee show up at the plane crash just as Hank gets a call about a disturbance at a nearby bar—the whole gang heads out.

The bar owner comes out with a gun; Nick easily disarms him but then lets the guy ran away; seeing himself in the mirror, Nick, with a yell, throws the gun and shatters the mirror.

Renard, Hank, etc., pull up to the roadhouse just as the owner stumbles out; Monroe can smell Nick—it’s him, but different. Juliette offers to help (how?) and Rosalee tells him it’s not really Nick.

GRIMM -- "The Ungrateful Dead" Episode 301 -- Pictured: David Giuntoli as Det. Nick Burkhardt -- (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)
Seriously, not really Nick.
GRIMM — “The Ungrateful Dead” Episode 301 — Pictured: David Giuntoli as Det. Nick Burkhardt — (Photo by: Scott Green/NBC)

There’s No Way Their Finishing This In One Episode

They go in and see the damage—no one dead, but a lot hurt. Monroe and Hank head out the back after Nick.

Back to the field of poppies. Adalind finishes digging the hole, then buries the hands, feet and heart in it. Stefania says they will wait, and soon they will know if Adalind has been accepted.

After a moment, a growing circle of dead flowers spreads out from around them, then a green, vaguely skeleton looking form rises from the newly covered hole and is absorbed into Adalind, whose eyes glow green. Stefania tells her she has been accepted—and now she has to collect the dead flowers. Leading to the second best line of the night, Adalind’s snarky, exhausted: “Really?”

Back at the bar, cops pull up as Renard comes out, asking for ambulances, then tells Juliette and Rosalee that Nick has fled, and they have to stop Nick before he kills someone, because there’s no coming back from that.

Monroe gets Nick’s scent in the woods and he and Hank head after him.

Nick comes up to a house with a mom, dad and a little girl just getting home. Oh noes! What if he kills a family??

Here's a non-zombie Nick to look at until next week.
Here’s a non-zombie Nick to look at until next week.

The episode ends with “This Ain’t Over Yet” title and a then a ‘this season Grimm’ sizzle reel (we can’t find it anywhere on line! Google has failed us!) that ends with what looks like Nick shooting Monroe! What? Why?

So a fun, fast, mostly excellent episode to start off the new season. No word on when that rumored second Grimm will show up, though.

Check back next Friday for our recap of episode two: “PTZD.”

The full episode can be watched at Hulu or on NBC.com; new episodes air on NBC on Friday’s at 9 p.m.

If you’re new to Grimm but don’t want to binge-watch two seasons before next Friday, you can download “Grimm: The Essential Guide” from iTunes (it’s free!).

http://www.hulu.com/watch/550304

Some weeks it feels like I just can’t win the horror movie lottery, no matter how many tickets I purchase.  Not only did I buy the ticket this week, I also managed to fall asleep when they were calling the winning numbers—not that my numbers were the lucky ones.

These socks remind me of every Max Hardcore film ever made.

Okay, this metaphor is going on far too long.  So, if you didn’t get it: I watched another bad horror movie and it bored me to tears.  ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!  Fuck, stop forcing my inner literary student off the symbolic road.

In 2011 (last year, for those of you who aren’t keeping track… of time!!), Industrial Motion Pictures released the vaguely Hansel und Gretel-themed film, BreadCrumbs.  No, that “und” is not a typo.  Go read a book or something.

This is what happens to you when you don't read.

If you don’t remember, Hansel und Gretel was a Grimm Brothers story featuring—you guessed it—two children named Hansel and Gretel who, through all the variations of the tale, basically wound up being left in the woods by some adult (who was occasionally related to them) and one of the kids, while being taken to his/her leafy fate, left a trail of bread crumbs behind them.  Unfortunately, the bread crumbs were eaten by birds, the kids found some sort of witchy dwelling (typically a house made of candy), and then were captured by a witch who wanted to do horrible things to them.

This has next to nothing to do with this movie other than some references that briefly pay homage to the classic tale.  So why did I recount this highly memetic tale that you probably already knew?  Frustration.  It’s this amazingly classic tale with all these wonderful tropes to work with and the finished product of BreadCrumbs falls terribly short of expectations.

Except for this scene. Expectations = totally met.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

BreadCrumbs tells the story of Angie (Marianne Hagan), a MILFy porn star in every sense of the word—save that she has no actual offspring.  Which means that, basically, she’s an older performer who now gets contracted to do MILF-themed and cougar-themed porn.  (Who knows too much about porn?  This chick.)

Angie and her co-workers have decided to rent a cabin in the woods (no relation to the movie Cabin in the Woods) and film an adult movie (aka: porn).  So we have the creepy camera guy (Jim Barnes), the doubtfully straight make-up artist (Shira Weitz), the annoying director (Mike Nichols – also this film’s director), the producer (Darbi Worley), and four other performers (Zoe Sloane, Alana Curry, Douglas Nyback, and Steve Carey).

Uh, like, yeah, this bathrobe is so Fall/Winter 2012.

Unfortunately, even with this fairly visually accurate crew, the script failed to provide any sense of realism of a porn set to those of us who have been on them.  More on that later.

While in the woods, the group comes across two “kids”—Patti and Henry—who seem to be rather insane and out of place.  After handling them oddly, the kids are dismissed from thought and it’s down to partying and filming.  However, before they can really get down to business (*rimshot*), things begin to go awry and one of the performers ends up being really well hung.

By the neck, people!  By the neck!!

Oh, hai! I got you this rock!

Was it the kids?  Was it the wielder of what sounds to be some sort of electric trimmer in the distance?  Don’t worry—Scooby and the gang will find out!

When this movie wasn’t boring me to pieces, I was either busy yelling at the screen about basic realism (on so many levels, so many levels—what porn star shrieks and covers her chest when she sees someone watching her film a scene??) or moping that a movie that had the beginnings of a solid concept behind it failed so miserably script-wise to deliver.

The casting of the children did not help either—the dialogue and interpersonal interactions showed a clear relationship between adults and what should have been nine-year-olds, but the people who were cast were in their late teens which caused incredibly heavy dissonance.

WARRRRRBLE!

Recommendation?  Avoid.  I could see some of the actors and, yes, even the director, doing some good things—but this isn’t one of them.  Between the miscasting of the “children” and the thoroughly unresearched script, this film was sadly doomed to failure.

But if you want to experience this for yourself you can, as always, find it on Netflix Instant.