As let down as I was by the Tranzalore episode last December, I was still in a stew of anticipation for the new Doctor and the new series. As the premiere date got closer, I’ll even admit that the anticipation wound up to a fevered pitch. I was very, very, very excited!

So, I wanted to wait a day before I wrote up my thoughts about the premiere episode of Doctor Who‘s eighth season, “Deep Breath,” in order to separate coherent opinion from a sort of post-Christmas morning let down. So, a day (and one more viewing) later, and I’ve found (disappointingly) that the issues remain.

Not to say there weren’t flashes of pure, Doctor-y brilliance in the episode. And if Peter Capaldi, our new Doctor, can be that good amidst that much rubbish, imagine how good he’ll be when he actually gets a better story!

Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the newest episode, and don’t like spoilers, don’t read any further!

Peter Capaldi as Doctor Who and Jenna Coleman as Clara. Courtesy of the BBC
Peter Capaldi as Doctor Who and Jenna Coleman as Clara.
Courtesy of the BBC

So, first, what worked:

1. Peter Capaldi: From ‘furious eyebrows’ to dinosaur-translating to that delightful Scottish brogue, Capaldi’s Doctor is angry, wry, sad, puzzled, conceited, arrogant, lost, humble and very, very lonely (as all of Moffat’s Doctors are). From the ungainly fingers sticking out in all directions to the sauve pose and reveal of the red silk lining of his new suit; from the desperate wretchedness of “Who frowned this face for me?” to the rapier-wit comedy of “You said that all by yourself”; from the frantic flirting with a larger-than-it-should-be dinosaur to the calm humor when he tells Clara (Jenna Coleman) that he is not her boyfriend, Capaldi reveled in his Doctor, and invited us along for (what I hope will be an amazing) ride.

2. Vastra and Jenny Flint (mostly): Vastra (Neve McIntosh) has always been one of my favorite reoccurring characters, and her and Jenny Flint’s (Catrin Stewart) relationship is given more time in this episode than any other; Jenny almost becomes a fully fleshed character. The quick allusions to Vastra’s other cases make me want a spin-off (though the Sherlock Homes references got to be a little much) and their lizard-lady kiss was certainly the first of its kind on television. Vastra provided such much needed snark and sarcasm (until she also become a monologue mouthpiece bent on lecturing fan-girls, but more on that later).

3. The Alley Scene: Capaldi and a homeless man in an alley, where Capaldi ruminates on ‘why this face.’ Moffat writing at its best: evocative, funny, illuminating without feeling like an info-dump, and creating a connection with the audience. By the end of that scene, I was sold on Capaldi’s Doctor.

4. Jenna/Doctor in the Restaurant Scene: It was funny. Both Coleman and Capaldi were obviously enjoying themselves, and the banter fairly sparkled. For that brief scene, I could see Clara and the Doctor as a team (versus other scenes, where I keep being told they were but didn’t actually see it).

5. Heaven/The Last Scene: Did I miss something? Do we know that woman named Missy (Michelle Gomez)?? Who was she? Where was she? How does she know the Doctor? What is she on about? In 30-seconds I went from ‘meh’ to ‘oh, ok, well I guess I have to watch this season.’ She’s clearly going to be a presence over the next few months. If anyone knows who she is, please say in the comments! Or even if all you have is a vague idea or an loud opinion. It is the Internet, after all. Don’t be shy!

Doctor Who
Michelle Gomez as Missy the Mystery Woman in Doctor Who: Season Eight.
Courtesy of the BBC

Alright, now on to what didn’t work.

And so much didn’t, right? Huge plot holes; convenient, highly-coincidental happenings; every single character getting a two minute monologue about how the new Doctor is the Doctor and how we should all just get over it and move on; a bad-guy that was oh-so-not-subtly a mirror to our own Doctor’s emotional state–the list, quite literally, goes on.

1. The Dinosaur: I have nothing against the odd dinosaur (I went through the dinosaurs are awesome phase just like everyone else) but why? And how? The TARDIS has been stuck inside any number of things (organic and inorganic) and time-traveled out of them, and none of those things got pulled along for the ride (and this dino is HUGE. Sorry, Vastra, you’re ‘I was there.’ didn’t explain away that one). And aside from the ‘huh…how?’ issue, there’s the fact that now we have an episode about a dinosaur, an ancient being, lost out of its time, alone and stranded, worlds away from its family and home (gee, are you getting some subtext here? You should be, because, like a lot of this episode, it’s not so much sub- as just right out there, completely textual). And if for some reason we didn’t grasp the allegory, Moffat made sure we did by having the finally-asleep-Doctor translate the lost, lonely and cold dinosaur’s thoughts for us.

2. The Attempts at Humor: This is mostly about Strax. I usually really like Strax and his obtuse, violence-first approach is good for a gallows humor. This episode, his humor is too broad, too easy. And the bit where he hits Clara in the head with the newspaper? What was that? It wasn’t funny, and it cuts from Clara flying backward, directly to Clara coming into the kitchen with neither a bruise, nor any discussion about the concussion-causing projectile. And the medical examination that follows (though explained by Strax) seems gratuitous (oh, hey, your subconscious shows men playing sport and sex! You naughty girl! How dare you have a perfectly healthy libido!). Other ‘funny’ moments that weren’t: the Doctor falling through the trees; the Doctor flipping onto the horse (only because it looked so odd); Vastra having Jenny strike a pose but not really painting her, and then asking Clara to take her clothes off when she comes into the room; Clara kicking the sonic screwdriver into (we’re led to believe) the Doctor’s crotch (hey, dick humor! Everyone likes that, right?)

The jokes feel forced and fall flat–while individually funny, perhaps, they don’t feel coherent with the whole. It’s like halfway through someone said, ‘oh, this Doctor is too dark. Too edgy. Let’s force in some humor–hey, those Three Stooges were funny, right? Why not try some stuff like that?’

Vastra and Strax in Season Eight, Episode One "Deep Breath.: Courtesy of the BBC
Vastra and Strax in Season Eight, Episode One “Deep Breath.:
Courtesy of the BBC

 3. The Lectures: By my count, we were told on four separate occasions that the Doctor was still the Doctor, he just looked different. Older, grayer, but still the Doctor, and we just needed to get over it and accept it. And if we couldn’t, well, then, we weren’t worthy to be in his presence (or hang out with Vastra’s unveiled self, either). Much like the end of the Christmas Special, the characters take time out from the episode to essentially to give the audience (really, the super-fans) a little scolding. Now, I was sad to see Matt Smith’s Doctor go, but was looking forward to a new Doctor (that is, after all, part of the charm of the show). Being constantly reprimanded about how missing the old Doctor was somehow selfish, childish and judgmental soured a great deal of the episode for me. Which leads me to…

4. Clara: Jenna Coleman seems like a perfectly nice, gracious and talented young woman. But to be honest, I have never been a huge fan of the Clara companion. And in this episode she surpassed her worst moments from all of last season combined–through no fault of her own, or even her character’s. Rather, it felt like Moffat had decided to use her as a stand-in for every Super Fan who went into hysterics when Matt Smith left, and then twisted and forced the episode to show how shallow, unsubstantial, egomaniacal and self-centered those Super Fans are–and, as mentioned in point #3, every character there, up to and including Matt Smith’s Doctor, decided to give her a lecture.

On top of that, she was singularly useless. Why was she even there? We kept getting told how important she was to the Doctor, but other than vacillating between dull disdain of his new form (how many gray hair insults can you cram into an hour-and–half show?), near-hysteria over the new Doctor’s behavior, and perky-wide-eyed naivete, she didn’t seem important. Yes, she told us a number of times (as did Vastra, and Strax and even the Matt Smith Doctor himself) how important she was to him, but why?

And how many times was she going to have to get saved by the Doctor? I counted three times in one episode. When the Doctor leaves her behind in the Larder, there’s a GIANT LEVER right next to the door, and instead of pulling it and, I don’t know, escaping, she decides to hold her breath and cry. Why? Supposedly Jenna Coleman is leaving after the Christmas Special, and if this episode is any indication of what they are doing with her character, I can’t blame her.

Peter Calpaldi as the 12th Doctor. Courtesy of the BBC
Peter Calpaldi as the 12th Doctor.
Courtesy of the BBC

5. Gaping Plot Holes. Gaping Plot Holes Every Where: The aforementioned dinosaur. The killing of said dinosaur for its optic nerve (what?? really??). The clockwork re-building robots (yet another metaphor of regeneration and renewal, in case we weren’t getting the inner turmoil) living under Victorian London.

Note: For those of you wondering, the clockwork fix-it robots first showed up during David Tennant’s Doctor in an episode titled The Girl in the Fireplace. It’s the only 2006 episode written by Moffat. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It is very, very good, and also one of the first episodes that unequivocally makes the Doctor a romantic figure. Which makes this episode’s clear statement that the Doctor is not a romantic figure very much the bookend at the end of that particular era.)

The Doctor and Clara getting stuck in the restaurant (what happened to the Doctor running away?). Once in the Larder and running away, Clara has to go back for the Doctor, pushing him in front of her, and then stops, for NO REASON, and that’s why he leaves her behind (‘Too slow.’ the Doctor says. But she wasn’t).

I don’t mind the idea of this Doctor being one to sacrifice others for a greater good–the Doctor has done that in the past–but I do have a problem with it being so blatantly stupid.  The fact that Clara pounds on the door and wails against its not opening when there’s a GIANT RED LEVER right next to it. The fact that she stays in the Larder for an improbable amount of time when the door is open, panicking. The fact that the clockwork robots can tell if you’re breathing, but crying apparently does not clue them into one’s humanity. The fact that Vastra and Jenny swirl down to the larder on giant swathes of cloth but don’t think to, I don’t know, drop a rope or ladder so they can get out. No, they literally jump in and pull their only method of escape down with them. Or that Strax, the military-trained, death-before-dishonor, we-are-Sparta-warrior-dude was the first to need to breathe and didn’t even react to that.

Or the fact that the entire episode is spent telling Clara that this Doctor is different. He’s not her Doctor anymore. He’s still the Doctor, but changed, and she’ll need to accept his changes and then at the very end, the Doctor comes out and says he hasn’t changed, he’s exactly the same, and can’t she see him for him?

So which is it? It’s enough to make a girl’s head explode.

Dinosaur!?! Courtesy of BBC
Dinosaur!?!
Courtesy of BBC

I have high hopes about Capaldi’s Doctor and the rest of the season. This particular episode was not a great one–certainly not for such a long-awaited premiere–but there were hints of a excellence in it. I hope the rest of the season gets better. Considering the episode didn’t even touch on Gallifrey and the other Time Lords who clearly exist since, you know, they saved the Doctor, hopefully we’ll find out more about that soon.

Also, what kind of Doctor do we think this 12th Doctor will be? If the 10th Doctor was ‘the one who regrets’ and the 11th Doctor was the ‘one who forgets’ does that make the 12th Doctor the one who’s redeemed? It certainly seems so, with the Doctor’s ‘I’ve made mistakes’ speech.

What did you think? Love Capaldi? Hate Capaldi? Don’t care? Let us know in the comments!

So after two blink-and-you’ll-miss-them teasers, the BBC finally released an actual trailer for season eight of Doctor Who. At just a little over a minute, the trailer tantalizes and leaves no doubt that it’s definitely going to be a Stephan-Moffat-trope heavy season.

Peter Capaldi as Doctor who and Jenna Coleman as Clara.
Peter Capaldi as the Doctor and Jenna Coleman as Clara.

While we all wait for August 23rd to roll around, we thought we’d quickly go through the 15 moments in the trailer that scream ‘Moffat is here!” to us, as a way to pass the time and also to reassure us all that the man behind the Doctor is still wildly playing at our heartstrings:

1. The TARDIS on fire. While the TARDIS malfunctioning has always been a running convention for all of the Doctors, Moffat especially seems to like doing horrible things to it, blowing up its control room, having the Doctor leave the e-brake on, making weird plant-life grow all over it. So the first full shot (minus the close-up of a handle and some weird Space-Mountain tunnel lights) is, of course, the TARDIS on fire.

2. A young flirty-smart woman who is both trouble and savior. Yup, right on cue, after the TARDIS blows up, it’s a close up of  Clara Oswald, looking at first serious and then surprised/scared.

3. Scared about what, you ask? Well, Moffat has never been afraid to go for the gusto in terms of bad guys (though his best episodes, in our opinion, are the ones were he constrains himself to one–like “Blink,” which was the first episode to feature the angels and still the scariest thing to watch alone pretty much ever). For season eight, Moffat isn’t holding himself back. First up, Daleks! Nice whomp-whomp sound combined with a close up on a Dalek eye stalk.

4. The ominous and prophetic sounding sound byte, that, when parsed, is usually just a common sense statement. There’s usually three or four in a Moffat trailer, and here’s the first. The Dalak, saying : “Life returns” along with a:

5.  Shot of the new inside of the TARDIS. It looks…clean. Crisp. A lot more blue and more glowing buttons then we had before.

6. And now we need someone who’s close to the Doctor to worry about him. And, yup, there’s Clara, all by herself, walking through some very blue hallway, in profile, while she muses: “I don’t think I know who the Doctor is anymore.” OF COURSE NOT. He’s a NEW doctor. Sheesh.

7. If all goes according to previous trailers, right about now we’ll…yup. There it is: The Doctor in some agonizing/mortally dangerous moment, striking a completely unrealistic but HIGHLY dramatic poise.

8. What’s next? Well, tradition has it that it should be another ominous and oddly prophetic sounding phrase from an old enemy. And, yup, check. The same Dalek, saying (over the image above, natch): “Life fails.” Which when you think about it is sort of a Captain Obvious statement but ok, we’ll go with it.

9.  Halfway through and we haven’t seen the TARDIS flying and/or landing–oh, no, here it is. Which means we all know what’s next, right? That’s right, it’s time for the:

10. High angle shot of the Doctor, either looking up or just in the act of looking up at the camera.

11: Which wouldn’t be complete without a Doctor-logue (which is what we call the monologues the Doctor embarks on when he’s trying to outtalk or bravado his way out of something), and sure enough, there’s Capaldi, saying: “I am the Doctor. I have lived for more than 2000 years–

Wait, wait, wait. What? We interrupt this list for a ‘wtf?’ More than 2000 years?? Wasn’t he just like, 800? Where did the 1200 years come from, Moffat?? Where?? We know he was on Trenzalore for awhile, but 1200 years?? Really? Really?

UPDATE: Thanks to our lovely readers, the age question has been answered. Thank you!

Ok, back to our normally scheduled list-acle.

11.5. “I’ve made many mistakes. Isn’t it time I fix them?” At which point we need a quick glimpse of our companion with the Doctor, and whatever his new suit-of-choice will be, and there it is. Very severe, this Capaldi suit.

12. Now the companion needs to ask a leading question so that the Doctor can be portentous…yup, yup, there it is “Where are going?” she asks, giving the Doctor the perfect in for his next line: “Into darkness.” Oh, oh, very good, very dramatic.

13. Now we need a super fast series of shots where at least half of them will make us laugh and the other half will make us giddy with excitement while also showcasing old friends and enemies. And yup, cut to Vastra, teasing the Doctor almost nonchalantly and then it’s: daleks, glowy blue tunnel, dinosaurs in London, Cybermen (sort of) looking things, the Doctor on a horse, Clara looking scared, zero-gravity in the TARDIS, lots of Daleks and a spinning out of control TARDIS and what’s next?

14.  Well, classic Moffat would be  quiet statement by the Doctor to remind us how tortured and tormented he really is, how hard it is for him to be a ‘good man’ (see “A Good Man Goes To War” for a well-done but essentially two hour riff on this). But surely he’ll do something–nope. Nope. There it is. A gazing out into the distance Doctor cuts to a slightly hopeless Doctor, sitting next to Clara, asking: “Am I a good man?” to which every fan girl in the world went “YES.” (it was like a million souls all forgot Matt Smith at once, and then…nothing). Of course Clara, as a Moffat saucy, sexy, smart but not too-smart companion, will have to say the saucy, sexy, smart but not too-smart answer, which is:

15. “I don’t know.” Because the crux of  Moffat’s Doctor is a conflicted and wounded Doctor, isn’t it?

There isn’t even a second of footage to shed some light on the mysterious new character, Danny Pink, who will be played by Samuel Anderson and (apparently?? maybe??) will be joining the Doctor and Clara on their travels.  Way to keep us in suspense, Moffat!

All that being said, we’re very (very very very very very) excited to see what a not Matt-Smith Doctor will look like, though if the trailer is any judge, it’ll be Moffat-y.

What did you think? Watch the trailer below and let us know in the comments!

Doctor Who starts its new season on Saturday, August 23rd, and last week the BBC put out its first teaser of Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor.

And here’s another one:

What do you guys think? Can’t wait? Don’t think Capaldi will ever be as good as Smith/Tennant/<insert favorite Doctor here>? Tell us in the comments!

To the Twelfth Doctor:

It’s hard, changing. People don’t react well to someone who is different—we like conformity. We like to keep our boxes neatly partitioned and separate, sealed and shut once we ‘know’ someone. You may have noticed, Doctor #12, a certain reaction to the announcement of your regeneration. Please don’t take it personally. You have to understand, this cycle is normal. This is what we do.

We don’t like change, humans. We like to keep things as close to stagnant as we can.

We don’t like people breaking out of our notions of them.

We fear that change will make us unimportant, irrelevant.

That in the cataclysms we will lose our anchor.

We view change as death.

It’s why, perhaps, fanatics react so pugnaciously to changes. Fandoms are built around a world, a person, a myth that resonates so deeply that for that world to change means that nothing is sacred. Being part of a Fandom is a religious experience, in that metaphor becomes myth becomes dogma and Fandoms worship—critically, intelligently, but wholeheartedly—at the altar of personality and story.

Most authors/creators of worlds with a Fandom following take altering the fabric of that world very seriously. Or take a demented joy out of ensuring that the readers/viewers/followers never know who’s safe (looking at you, R.R.Martin, Whedon) but either way, the world remains secure. Fans take a glee in knowing that Games of Thrones is really Don’t Get Attached; some get a perverse sense of enjoyment being martyrs to a fandom whose leaders declare: ‘No one is safe. Anyone can die.’ But at the end, Westeros still stands in conflict; Serenity flies again.

Courtesy of the BBC.
Courtesy of the BBC.

But, Doctor, you’re different.

You don’t die. You change. You become unrecognizable, retaining only certain core values. You see the world differently; you approach problems with different tactics. You like different foods. You are unarguable different.

But not.

Not really.

You’re still you, aren’t you?

You’re an anomaly. You don’t make sense. A fandom shouldn’t follow a character through twelve cast changes, through long gaps of silence, for over fifty years, and still care so deeply, so wonderfully, so closely as your fandom does.

Why do they care so much? About a raggedy man, a time traveler with a screwdriver in a dodgy blue box and somewhat crap special effects?

What is it about you, Doctor, that captures our imaginations and our allegiance not just once or twice but twelve times over fifty years?

Fifty years. That’s three generations, fathers to daughters to grandsons…aunts to nephews to cousins. There are countries who haven’t lasted that long.

Why, Doctor?

Maybe it’s because, as much as humanity fights change, we know, deep down, that change is constant. Change is everywhere. Every moment alters our perceptions, our opinions, our judgment—if we are an amalgam of what we have experienced then every heartbeat make us someone new.

The child we were is unrecognizable to the adult we are now; the girl in high school is a stranger. Our twenties feel like they happened to someone on TV; last year is a memory of who we had been.

Perhaps we react to the Doctor because we know, instinctively, what it is like to sit up and wonder ‘am I a ginger?’ because sometimes in the morning, caught between the alarm clock and start of day, we don’t remember. Are we the child? The fifteen-year-old caught making a 37-point turn on our driving exam? The 21-year-old clubbing in New York City? The young wife or the stern teacher? When we open our eyes at the blare of the clock, will we suddenly remember why we loved sour candies as a child, even though we can’t eat them now?

Doctor, you may get a new face, but so do we. Lines appear, freckles fade, our hair turns grey, then white. We get taller, than shorter, we get thinner or fatter. We change, every year, so that sometimes we are unrecognizable to ourselves.

Courtesy of BBC, Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor.
Courtesy of BBC, Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor.

So when you regenerate, Doctor, and each time you find your footing—each change is a successful you—it comforts us. It eases that deep worry that as we have changed, we have lost.

Doctor, you prove to us that as we change, we only gain. We only improve. We have not lost the five-year-old who could play, naked, happy, joyful, for hours in a haystack. We have only gained all the other us-es.

The Doctor allows us to look forward to who we will be become, and encourages us to let go of who we were—holding onto only that which serves us for the now, but never forgetting what we owe to all that we did before.

So, Twelfth Doctor, the fandom may be querulous now, but they are reacting only to the fear in their own lives—we will grow to champion you. And accept you. Just as we—hopefully—grow to accept and champion ourselves.

You show us that change is not death, only different.

So, welcome, Doctor.

And thanks.