Let’s get this out of the way right now: Melanie is technically a two hit wonder and an influential singer-songwriter powerhouse whose songs have been covered by some of the most beloved artists in music history. Despite all that, the average joe — aka all of us on this podcast — only know “Brand New Key”, the unintentionally sexual song that made a huge impression on many of us thanks to its association with a certain movie character on roller skates. This week, we couldn’t avoid our guest Matt Jurcevich any longer, who has been riding his bicycle past our window just BEGGING to come on and talk about Melanie.

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Bad Santa celebrates 20 Years this year so we decided to revisit the filthy Christmas comedy that was all the rage in 2003/2004. Does it still hold up in 2023 though?

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Well, we were supposed to have the new mall’s grand opening on Fourth of July, but the security guards kept ending up slaughtered so we’re a little behind schedule… If it’s any consolation, Pauly Shore is at the froyo stand dishing out sweet treats! What started with Phantom of the Paradise, then Robert Englund’s Phantom of the Opera, continues with the deliciously cheesy PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC’S REVENGE (1989) and somehow the plot attempts to make the viewer guess whether it really is Eric who’s been doing all the killing… Spoiler if the title didn’t give it away, but yeah, it’s Eric. Let’s go to the mall, today!

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Do you remember the 1987 movie Hiding Out, in which Jon Cryer stars as a state’s witness who pretends to be a high school student to avoid getting killed by the mob? Probably not. Chances are that you DO remember the breakout song from the movie though — Pretty Poison’s “Catch Me (I’m Falling)”. This dance-pop hit cracked the Billboard Top 10 and was an MTV staple, but the group never even sniffed the success of this single again. Our Patreon voted for us to discuss this one, and we’d never let them down…so are you ready boy? Here we come!

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When we think about Summer Time we think of going to Warped Tour and when we think of Warped Tour we think of Punk Goes… Comps. So of course we had to dive into Punk Goes Christmas!

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It’s Hot Spartan Summer and your pasty hosts are ditching the New Balances for sandals and going on an epic, pantheon-approved adventure to find an animal skin that we definitely don’t plan to melt down and turn into gold swag chains. This week, we’re casting off with the Ray Harryhausen stop-motion classic JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963) and not even a giant bronze statue can stop us (he’s a total dick). Let’s go fight some reanimated skeletons on a brand new episode of Horror (well, more Fantasy) Movie Night!

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In 1997, a slick pop song from a Swedish actor-turned-musician cracked the Top 5 on the Billboard charts, lodging itself firmly onto grocery store and doctor’s office playlists for decades to come. We’re joined this week by One Hit Thunder veteran Paul Menotiades to discuss Eagle-Eye Cherry’s “Save Tonight”. Will Paul be able to stop us from throwing BLUNDER on Eagle-Eye’s very unique name? Stay tuned to find out.

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25 years ago Family Matters aired it’s last episode so we decided to watch their first Christmas special “Have Yourself a Merry Winslow Christmas” from Season 2. Dylan didn’t live through Urkel-mania so is he charmed by this creepy nerd? Listen and find out!

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Summer of Slashers is in full swing as we tan our cans at Coconut Pete’s Coconut Beach Resort… but the dopey employees are getting murdered left and right! Who will serve us fruity drinks and give us oddly erotic massages? Come with us as we uncover the mystery of CLUB DREAD (2004), a pretty bad Broken Lizard movie that is made watchable by our man Bill Paxton’s Jimmy Buffett impression and not much else. Who could’ve expected Kyle to inflict this on his unsuspecting cohosts? Definitely not Matt and Scott even though they egged him on in last week’s episode. Some people never learn.

Did Looking Glass pretty much CREATE the yacht rock genre by writing a song about a man choosing his love of the sea over the love of a woman? “Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)” made it all the way to the top of the Billboard charts in 1972, and the song stayed in the public consciousness ever since…except in the instance of this week’s guest PJ Caruso, who somehow didn’t know this song until he heard it in Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s hard to fathom how this is possible, but we’ll try to figure it out in this week’s episode.

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July is of course Shark Week so at Christmas 365 we use this month so suffer through at least one Christmas Shark movie (because there’s shockingly quite a few of them). This year Dylan had us watch Santa Jaws… yay!

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The Podcast dream team of Chris, Matt, Matthew and Tony are back to draft albums released 40 years ago! Did we draft your favorite released in 1983 and let us know who got the best draft!

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This week we are back to reading your emails tied to Even Worse and discuss some of the Weird Al cameos that Al made during the late 80s!

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Ahhhh, the sweet smell of freshly-mowed grass… Don’t you love it? Grassblood, the scent of a summer afternoon! But what’s that buzzing coming from the golf course… oh my god, it’s a possessed mower bent on human carnage! Only the fine folks at Troma Entertainment would take the risk of bringing an insane script like BLADES (1989) to life – one that perfectly mirrors JAWS throughout. And you best believe Matt breaks it all down for us this week on the show!

In just a few short years, Stacey Q went from riding elephants in the circus to having a Top 5 single on the Billboard charts. The popularity of “Two of Hearts” led to a plethora of television cameos, but unfortunately not another hit song. This week, we explore all things Q to decide if we “beat as one” in our fandom of Stacey.

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