I can’t remember when I first heard about Banksy, the often satirical, mostly subversive, constantly controversial street artist and director of the new film Exit Through The Gift Shop. It might have been when he took a trip to the West Bank and did a series of graffiti depicting beach scenes through broken pieces of the famous wall. It might have been when he took it upon himself to “improve” the sales of Paris Hilton’s debut album by sneaking into record stores across London and replace her CDs with his own versions. I know it was definitely when he held an art show in LA and invited everyone in Hollywood to take a look at the elephant in the room.

Banksy has always been a man of mystery. More so than any of his other street artists. No one has really been able to identify the man. The most we know is that he is British with a penchant for apes. So, when I heard that he had allowed a documentary to be made about him, I was shocked. And of course, very very interested. What I got when seeing the movie, though, was a thoroughly Banksy-style “bait and switch”.

Exit Through The Gift Shop is not a documentary about Banksy… It is a documentary about the man who tried to make a documentary about Banksy. The man in question is Thierry Guetta (pronounced Terry). Thierry is a native Frenchman who relocated to LA in the 80’s and ran a pretty successful vintage clothing shop. He also had a love of filming EVERYTHING. After visiting his cousin in France, who as it turns out, is pretty well known street artist named Invader, his filming takes on a focus: street art.

For those of us that don’t know what street art is, it’s what lots of people consider graffiti, but it’s not… but it is… While graffiti is mostly known as the paintspray scrawl on an overpass or billboard, street art takes it to the next level. When you see a beautiful piece of artistic work made on the side of a building, or a sticker placed in various places with seemingly no meaning, or a shadow of a bench painted on the ground… that is street art. The movement came from the fact that most people consider art something that lasts forever, hanging in museums. Street art shows that this doesn’t have to be the case. Art can be as fleeting as the moment.

But I digress. Thierry falls in love with the art and starts filming the artists themselves. At first he just follows his cousin around, then he is introduced to the likes of Shepard Fairey (creator of the prolific OBEY campaign and later the Obama posters), Zeus and Borf. He continues to film these heavy-weights for years, but always wants to get the holy grail, Banksy.

When his opportunity finally arrives, he wastes no time and fully embeds himself with the enigmatic Banksy. Finally, Banksy feels it is time that word get out about the street art movement and asks Guetta to put together his masterpiece from the years and years of footage that he has. Thierry does this and what we get is a “Life Remote Control”. I won’t bother describing it, but let’s just say it is less than “good”, in Banksy’s opinion. After seeing his movie Banksy asks Thierry for all of his tapes and sends him back to LA with one goal: make his own art and report back.

This is where the movie turns into an almost real life version of “Trading Places”. Once back in LA, Theirry starts going at his task in a HUGE way. He takes all that he has learned from his years of tagging along within the world and creates his own art. (Sort of.) He fashions himself an artist, making his own stickers, placing his own posters, even creating his own persona: Mr. BrainWash. Of course, being Theirry, he goes way overboard and instead of only making a few works and having a tiny art show, he creates a behemoth. He sells his store and puts a second mortgage on his house so that he can rent out an old network studio building and hire lots of paid, gallery artists to make his work for him. Essentially he creates his own museum and fills it with his “art”. (Though I question whether I should be putting the quotes around “his” too, but hey, Warhol did it.) The goal that Banksy had sent him to do is completed… and well beyond what Banksy himself thought possible.

The questions that this last section bring up for the audience member is what I think really sold me on the whole movie. It asks, what is art? Is art something that comes from one’s experiences and one’s own attitude? Or can anything be considered art as long as it is marketed as “art”? 

It’s a movie about street art, that feels in itself, like a piece of street art. The spiral from point A to point B back to point A via B is insane and very satisfying. There is a lot of humor in it, mainly coming off of how very strange the film’s subject, Thierry Guetta, is. There are points where I found myself kind of sad for the man as it is pretty obvious that there is some underlying psychological issues at play, but never enough to make it a drama.

I would have to say that if you have the opportunity to see this movie, you should definitely treat yourself to it. Whether this the first time you have heard about Banksy and street art, or if you are a long time fan, it really delivers a great experience. It is in a limited run in theatres right now, but is expanding to more cities every week. Check out the website for more details.

In the end you know that Banksy has done his job when one of the people I went to see the movie with said, “The movie was great, but I really want to see the movie that Banksy did on the guy who made this documentary on him.” To which I had to explain that she already had, it’s called Exit Through The Gift Shop.

Hey Everybody!

BenDunn here. It’s not often that I am allowed to review movies that don’t have anything to do with things I am not all the fluent in. Watchmen. Easy! Star Trek. Piece of cake! Monsters Vs. Aliens. Are you kidding me?! So imagine my surprise when I was asked to review a romance. Not a romantic comedy. Not a romantic dramedy. Not EVEN a Rom-Com-Zom, but a full on romance movie. But I love a challenge so I decided to tackle the unknown and watch and review The Time Traveler’s Wife.

Before I did though I thought to myself, you know what? Even the bravest explorers bring along guides and interpreters on their death-defying expaditions… why don’t I? So I got Celeste, my girlfriend, to come along for support! (Though as you will see, I didn’t really need much help.)

After watching the movie Celeste and I decided what would be better then just Ben’s review on the movie? How about Ben AND Celeste’s review? (Besides, the site needs a little bit more estrogen in the mix anyway!) And in the interest of saving people having to read what would no doubt be a horrible transliteration of the event, why not treat our audience to a visual and audio extraviganza?!

So without further ado, I present:

GEEKSCAPE VIDEO REVIEW: TIME TRAVELERS WIFE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to start off this review by going over my history with this book. Like all comic fans, I was told that this was a must read, that this is the holy bible of all published comic book work. I was told that my life would be changed forever once my eyes graced the pages of this Magna Carta of funny books. So, of course, I read it. Sadly, I was not that impressed. It could be that it had been built up to unreachable standards. It could be that I am just too dumb to get the heavy meaning laid down by the dark genius, Alan Moore. It could be that people are just wrong in their high esteem for the book. Whatever it was, I just couldn’t get that into it.

 Someone Didn't Get Watchmen

Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely believe that there is a lot merit in this book, and that there is something to the mass hysteria that surrounds it. My favorite argument when discussing the book with the Watchmen fan boys (that seem to be multiplying every day) is when it is compared to the film classic, Citizen Kane.

Citizen Kane is often called one of the best movies ever made. It’s on inumerable top ten lists across the world and is the stuff of film snobs’ wet dreams. Once again, I have watched this movie, and truth be told, was bored out of my effing skull. Oh, I get why it’s important. Technically, this movie is amazing as they used camera techniques that were never even thought of before. Things like cranes, trenches, forced perspective… things that are still used to this day were pioneered in this movie. That is what makes it a classic in my opinion. Same thing goes with Watchmen. While I was kind of bored by parts of the story and the art work is nowhere near revolutionary, the story that was told within the work itself was something completely revolutionary. Here you had superheroes that were not all about truth, justice and all that. You had flawed heroes. These people cheated, raped and murdered. As a study of the human condition taken to extremes, Watchmen is wonderful.

So, when it was announced that a movie was finally (successfully) in the works and, more importantly, was actually going to come out, there was a simulatinious cry of joy and disdain throughout the comic book reading community. People were excited that it was happening and, more so, people were appaled that it was going to be a movie (and not a mini-series, therefore  “it wasn’t going to get the justice it deserved”). All the arguments, all the legal issues, all the apprhension aside, this movie is finally finished and coming out in a few weeks. And let me tell you. It’s something else!

This was the right directof for Watchmen

First, lets talk direction. Lots of people were worried that Zach Snyder wasn’t going to be able to pull off the nuances of the characters since he is mainly known for the frat-guy boner fest called 300; a film that was a good retelling of the story itself, but that seemed to forget the term “subtlety”. In my opinion, while I do agree that there really wasn’t much acting going on in 300, it was a graphic novel on celluloid. Snyder knew what he was doing — exactly what he wanted to. He wanted to make an action movie. When I found out he was directing Watchmen, I felt it was actually an adequate choice of director. After actually seeing the finished product, I can safely say that I was right. While there are some things that I have issue with in his direction (fast/slow/fast fighting and some acting choices) for the most part, this movie is flawless. The coloring, the shots, and the pacing are all great.

Hot Watchmen Girl

You could not have asked for a better cast. The one expection being Malin Akerman who, while very lovely in her latex bodice, leaves one wondering if she knows how to “feel things”. That aside though, everyone of the actors is perfectly cast. Patrick Wilson makes a terrific sadsack as Dan Dreiberg aka Night Owl. Jeffery Dean Morgan as The Comedian is very convincing as a misogynistic alcoholic. I had my doubts about Mathew Goode as Adrian Veidt, thinking that he looked too young, but I was pleasantly surprised at what he does with the subtely of the character. The most talked about Watchman is, of course, Dr. Manhattan. I have to say that this was a sticking point with me when I heard there was a movie coming out. If they fucked this character’s arc up at all it would mean a fail in my book. Possibly an epic one. This being because it’s his story that truly brings out the big questions in the book. That and his look. This is a person that was literally ripped apart at an atomic level and put himself back together into an idealized structure of a man. I mean, he glows blue for christ’s sake! Also, he doesn’t wear pants. This is a little thing, but what it symbolizes is huge. It shows that he no longer considers himself bound by human standards. This is a big deal that the film makers could have easily changed to cowtow to the prissy MPAA… but THEY DIDNT! Yes. You will see blue man man-meat (take THAT, Vegas!) I have never been that exicited to see a dick that wasn’t my own!
Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach Rorschach

I still have yet to touch on one character, and there is a reason for that. Rorschach is one of the pivitol pieces of the story. Within him you have so many twisting emotions that it rivals the ever-morphing blots of his mask. This is a man that has never experienced what a normal person can call a good life. The closest he got to that was when he was fighting crime as a Watchman. While an outsider himself, he tried to live within the rules of society — until he saw what society was. Yes, he is a psychopath. Yes, he is murderer. He would just as soon set you on fire as throw you in jail, but he does it all with a strict code of justice. All this said, I never realized any of it while reading the book. It took watching this movie and seeing what Jackie Earle Haley did with it to convince me. This guy is fantastic. He is by far the center piece of this movie. From his introduction, to his back story, to his prison experience, to his amazing end… Rorschach is truly one of the best written heroes ever. If you come away with anything from this review make it this: see this movie for no other reason then to watch this character!

You might have noticed that I have not talked about the plot at all. The main reason for this is that you are at a site called Geekscape on the interwebs, so I am assuming that you already know what’s up. This is also a question that is asked by critics and fans alike. Will this film do well even if it is not dumbed down to make it easier for the mainstream to grasp? The answer in my opinion is yes. Don’t get me wrong, there are some changes in the story to help keep people “out of the know” entertained. The opening sequence does a fantastic job at illustrating the world we are about to enter (to Bob Dylan’s The Times They Are A Changin’). The other main change happens at the end, which I won’t talk about here. Let’s just say that they kept it as realistic as possible. Honestly, I think the plot points that were axed and the sequences and aspects that were tweaked ended up working fine in film, since Snyder was telling this story in the confines of a 2.5 hour long movie — not a book. in fact, one of my biggest problems with the book was how slow and plodding the story felt sometimes. I think that the trim the script perfectly eliminated that.

Watchmen Rape Watchmen Violence Watchmen Love Watchmen Comedian Silk Spectre Sex

Finally, let’s talk about what sets this movie apart from the varitable sea of superhero movies that we are currently treading in. Mainly that thing is an R rating. Believe me when I say this, it’s a HARD R; meaning there is sex. There is blood. There are bones popping out of skin. It really does put an emphasis on the graphic. While I do have a problem with Synder’s love of the super fast-motion/super slow-motion style of shooting action, it does work in some cases. I will say that the foley artists (the people who make things sound like what they are supposed to sound like in film during post production) need to get kudos, as when people are hit in this movie it really sounds like they are getting hit hard! The fight choreography is gorgeous. I love that every single person in the world has a different fighting style. Really good detail there.

All in all, this movie did a great thing. It took this person, who was only a mild admirer of the book, and made him really like it. I would definitely recommend this to anyone (except parents that want to take their young kids to see it… DO NOT DO THAT!…unless you’re a very progressive parent). Will it please superfans? Who knows? Superfans are a scary breed that have expectations higher then Mt. Everest. Will it please comic fans? Absolutely! Will it please the mainstream? I think so. This really is one of the best told superhero movies ever made. Good job, Mr. Snyder.

                         Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley Watchmen Smiley

Porn and I have a long long… long history together. I remember my first glimpse at naked flesh on page. It was an old Hustler that had been thrown away in the field next to the water tower behind my house. I was 11 years old. When I saw those glorious water-warped images I knew my life would never be the same. The first time that I beheld a porn video, I got the exact same feeling. The sight of the heaving celluloid breasts and the man, who was dressed as a clown, pounding her into a new dimension was enough to change this innocent little boy’s life forever (yes, it was a 70’s clown porn that my friend had stolen from his father, yes, it was very disturbing, and yes, it was completely hot!) After that I would spend my life trying to find more.

These were the days before the internet, when kids had to scrounge around in their father’s closets to find their dufflebag full of magazine’s and tapes. These were the days before DVD’s, when you only had one angle and that was of a hairy ball-sack coming at your face. It was a simpler time. A time when there was more to porn then just fake breasts and huge penii. A time when porn was still considered a semi-valid form of acting (well, at least they were trying) where people like Sylvester Stalone could come and have a good old fashioned Sausage Party and then win an Oscar for Rocky. When Taboo 2 wasn’t just about a son and daughter fucking, but about a family fighting to stay together no matter what the cost. With the rise of the internet and in an age of Brian Gilmores opening up 14 different windows in a Quicktime movie mosaic to watch 14 different free samples on loop (Editor’s Note: you’re welcome for that idea, guys) to get their jollies off, these sort of films have fallen to the wayside.

Where does that leave people like me though? Where does that leave Ben Dunn? People who enjoy the complex storylines, not just the meat train to tuna town? We clamour for more. For the silly stories and the bad acting. For the $5 production values and the boom mic hitting an actress in the crotch. Where do WE find OUR satisfaction?

Now? Now we have James Gunn’s PG Porn.

James Gunn is a sick sick man. You might know this if you have ever watched any of his films. Films such as Slither, Tromeo and Juliet, or Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. (Ok, he just wrote SD2:MU, but still. What a sick fuck!) James is also one of the funniest guys in the film industry – once again, look at his filmography.

What he has done with PG Porn is taken out all of the needless sex and kept all the glorious exposition. As he says in his blog; this is a world where a person who orders a pizza gets exactly what they want, a delcious pizza. Written by James and his brothers, PG Porn is looking to revolutionize the industry, and the world, by having complex stories done with the style and panache of the greats like Peter North and Ron Jeremy (Ok, not really, but when else will I be able to use the words “revolutionize”, “panache” and “porn” in the same sentence?!). If their first instalment, “Nailing Your Wife” with Nathan Fillion and Aria Giovanni is any indication on where this series is headed, they might have just pulled it off.

Nailing Your Wife” has it all. The story of a lonely house wife coming to meet her dullard of a husband at work, only to find that he has forgotten about her again, she finds solice in the arms of her husband’s employee. The look is there, as it was shot in a basement made to look like a construction site. The feel is there and the music is synthly awesome. Lord knows the acting is there – if you didn’t know Nathan Fillion before, you would simply believe that he had never learned to read or act. Most importantly, the sex isn’t there. James does a great job in the end, too, twisting it to his own warped style.

I am truly looking forward to more from the web-series (especially the Peanuts inspired scene with Belladonna and Michael Rosenbaum!) as they have accomplished what they set out to do. Make a porn that is fun for the whole family!

You can check out James Gunn’s PG Porn at their site: PG Porn or Spike TV

November 30th 1999.

I was a student in my Sophmore year at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle. Life was pretty good. I had just gotten an apartment with a few friends in the Capitol Hill area where our college was based. I had a job at the Paramount Theater as an usher. All the world was my oyster. There had been mumblings amongst my hippie activist friends that this global conference was going to be happening that week. Something called the WTO (or World Trade Organization). My friends were going to take off class early so they could go downtown to support other activists in protest of this Global Threat – to listen to them talk you would think that Galactus himself had set up shop in the Conference Center. About 2pm we got a call from the head of the school saying that classes were cancelled for the day as what started off as peaceful protests had scaled into a full blown riot on Pine St. As we were going home you could see down the hill to downtown and see the clouds of tear gas and the distant pops of canisters and “non-leathal” rubber bullets and beanbag guns. The most haunting though was the sounds of yelling. It wasn’t just the screams of the scared and hurt. It was the chants that drowned even those out. A cerfew was enforced for downtown and the National Guard was called in. A state of emergency was put into place. The first one of a non-weather related kind in recent U.S. history. Did we care though? Not really. It meant a night of partying at our place since there was no school the next day.

December 1st 1999.

As we had the day off most of my friends spent time watching the protests or going to join the sit down at Westlake Center. I spent the day nursing a really bad hang over. Things were still really bad downtown. All the major stores on Pike and Pine (the two largest streets for shopping) were either closed or boarded up to protect from the Anarchists who had spent most of the night smashing windows and spray painting their feelings onto the sides of the buildings. That night was when it all caught up to me.

I was going to the grocery store at around 6pm (curfew started at 7pm) when I heard shouting coming from down the street toward the store. As I neared the store I saw that there was a large group gathered at the end of the intersection. When I got close enough I saw that on the other side was a group of riot police blocking off the road. Everyone has seen cops in riot gear on TV or in movies, but there is something completely different about seeing them face to face and knowing that you are on the WRONG side of their shield. Add to it that they were all wearing gasmasks and had their batons drawn. You could almost feel what was going to happen next before it occurred. There was a voice over a bullhorn telling the crowd to disperse and there was a cry from the crowd telling the cops to leave our neighborhood. My friend and I turned around at this point since we wanted nothing to do with this, but it was too late. We heard it before we smelled it, this sickening pop followed by at least a few more. Then the smoke started pouring over us. We had been teargased. There is no way to describe what I felt next. It’s like you’re breathing in acid and pepper, but you can’t move away from it because it is everywhere. You can’t see because you can’t open your eyes. You get completely disoriented. Luckily my friend had covered his face before it hit so he guided me off of Broadway and back to our building. We flushed our eyes and got out of our clothes; which we latered burned at a ceremony a few days later. We holed up in our apartment for the rest of the night listening to the pops and screams, the sound of the garbage cans hitting cop cars, at one point I swear I heard a baton crack open a skull. Our power was cut at around 11pm and was turned back on at 2am. I had thoughts that this was the end of the world. The night was later called The Battle for Capitol Hill by the news, but really it was just a pissed off neighborhood fighting back against a police force that was out of control.

The protests lasted a few more days, but we rode them out inside. We had heard that a few of our friends had been arrested along with 600 others. One of my good friends had joined up with the Anarchists from Eugene and were holed up in an abandoned building for the weekend, surrounded by the police and National Guard. He somehow made it out without even getting arrested.) It took a few weeks for the storefronts to all be fixed, but by Christmas everything was back to normal.

I write all this to give you an account of the WTO Riots (or the news dubbed “Battle In Seattle”) from someone who was there that was neither a protestor, anarchist, policeman or diplomat. Someone who was just living their life during this crazy time.

“Battle In Seattle” is the directorial and writing debut from actor Stewart Townsend (mostly known as the Not Tom Cruise Lastat from “Queen of the Damned”, and Dorian Grey from “League Of Extrodinary Gentlemen”). When I first heard about it, I was a bit leary, since I was pretty sure that they were going to make it way too Hollywood and demonize one set and glorify another. I have to say that I was pleasently surprised. Not only are all sides given a voice, protestors, police, government, WTO delegates and to a certain extent, the media, anarchists and civilians; but it is done very democratically. No one side is made to look like the wrong doers (except for the WTO as a group, but for good reason. If you don’t know the WTO, look them up. Shady shadow governments, but this isn’t the medium for that conversation.) and I think that is what’s key to this. Granted the main story is about the protests, so there is a great deal of focus on them. The main players in this group are Jay (Martin Henderson), Lou (Michelle Rodriguez), Sam (Jennifer Carpenter) and Django (Andre Benjamin). Jay is the leader of this section of peaceful protestors, who are only wanting to stop the procedings of the WTO through sit ins and marches. Jay has a past with protesting and is on his 2nd strike, one more arrest and he is going to prison for life. This doesn’t stop him though as he is devoted to this cause after a family tragedy strikes. Django is the animal rights protestor of the group. He is played with some much needed humor by Benjamin. This guy is really watchable and I don’t know why he isn’t in more things. Jennifer Carpenter plays Sam, who is new to the action but not to protesting. She is a lawyer who is assigned to help the group if things go bad. Rounding out the group is Lou. Lou is the same character that Rodriguez always plays and feels like her only purpose in the movie is to be the hardass with the heart of gold.

On the opposing team (the police and government) you have cops Dale (Woody Harleson), Johnson (Channing Tatum) and Mayor Jim Tobin (Ray Leota). It was interesting to see the view of the events from the Mayor’s perspective. He is in a losing situation, he just wants what’s best for the city, but he also wants to keep freedom of speech. It’s really this conflict of interests that causes things to spiral out of control so fast. It’s the cops though that are some of the best parts of this movie. Like I expressed in the beginning of this piece, it’s hard to humanize these figures of force, but Townsend does a great job with it. You really get to see the transformation between these two characters. On a sidenote, it’s really interesting that Woody Harleson was cast as a riot cop against protestors, since he is a very outspoken protestor himself. That being said, he plays Dale with so much passion that you can’t help but side with him.

The rest of the ensemble is rounded out by a News Reporter (Connie Nielsen) who learns that there is more to news then just spouting disinformation (a fact that I wish was actually played out by real newspeople.); Dale’s wife (Charlize Theron) who represents the normal citizen caught up in a situation out of control; the Anarchist (Joshua Jackson); and the WTO Delegate (Rade Sherbedzija) who doesn’t want anything other then helping the Third World.

As stated earlier, I believe that the strength of this movie is the fact that it succeeds in telling the story from all the different angles. Townsend has mixed in images from the actual news reports and coverage of the riots to give the movie a more realistic feel, and it works. I also like the fact that it makes a point in showing that not all of the protestors were commiting violence (in fact it was a very small delegation of anarchists that were responsible for the majority of it), unlike what the media was spinning during that time. It is this blend of excellent storytelling and intense images that brings out the best in the film. There are some hiccups in the way though. At times it can be a little heavy handed, one scene in particular involving Charlize Theron is a major offender, and some of the content seems just thrown in there without any sort of backing. All said and done though I think that “Battle In Seattle” is definitely a movie worth checking out. It shows that just a few thousand people with the right spirit can set out to change the world.

For more information check out: www.battleinseattle.com

It has been one month, and as promised by Telltale Games, we have the second instalment of Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People. In this episode we see our rippley-abbed hero being unjustifiably held under house arrest by the ultra-conservative King Of Town. It seems that SB has not paid his taxes on all of his email usage, and the Municipality is pissed – you don’t want to mess with Strongbadia! Now it’s up to Strong Bad to unite the citizenry of the town under one common flag and take on the buttery empire that is the King of Town.

After playing the first episode I thought that, while excellent, this series could go stale pretty fast if they are only going to stay in the single-puzzle solving and object gathering, point and click formula; but I have to give it to TellTale Games – they know how to keep the game play inovative. Sure, everything I just stated still exists, but they added enough interesting elements to the episode that the game really brings the story to a fun place. The “Risk”-style gameplay introduced after the opening is one of the most prominent elements.

The citizens of Town have divided and formed their own countries (my favorite is Strong Mad’s country, which is simply named “Country”). It is Strong Bad’s job to unite all the principalitiesand new countries under the flag of StrongBadia. To do so you, as Strong Bad himself, must sway each of the characters to your will. It’s really quite fun.

They have also brought back the cool little side games, like a new Videoletrix game called Math Busters which is a mix between Math Rabbit and Double Dragon, (you have to play it to fully understand the glory that is there). They also add a new twist to the Teen Girl Squad maker.

Another thing going for the game is that it is following, in my opinion, one of the best storylines that has ever appeared in the Homestar Runner cartoons. The Orwell’s-1984-inspired “Municipality” vs. the WWII “Homstarmy” is a great place to take these characters and an amazing way to get the player involved in characters that have been all about jokes and less about story. As a player, you finally get one of my personal favorite characters in the mix, Homsar. (If you don’t know Homsar, you should really look up his episode. Absolutely Fanatastic.)

The only problem I have with these games so far is the length. They are a little too short, coming in at about a good 2-3 hour solve time. I can forgive this, and so should you, since these episodes are like getting a 2-3 hour Homestar Runner cartoon once a month – which makes the price of the games more than worth it. 

The game has not lost any steam and I am looking forward to the third, which will be out next month. I would definitely recommend buying this for the PC or WiiWare while you can still catch up. This is a very enjoyable game that adds nuances to the Homestar Runner franchise.

Sex Drive, the new movie from young director, Sean Anders, revolves around Ian (Josh Zuckerman), your average 18 year-old who is desperately seeking puss. He comes across it over the internet, where he meets a girl who’s totally into him. Well, she’s actually into the football playing, weight lifting, muscle car driving profile he has forged. She asks him to come vist her and so the movie begins.

At it’s heart Sex Drive is a road trip/teen sex comedy, and it does an okay job at it. You have your required characters: the hopeless loser in search of love, the cocksure friend (played in all his subdued glory by Clark Duke), the girl whose a friend who doesn’t know what she wants (Amanda Crew), the evil brother (James Marsden) and a slew of crazies that they come across along the way. Just add water, stir and bake for 90 minutes and there you have it.

Even though you may have seen hundreds of similar movies, Sex Drive offers up some stand out moments that managed to catch me by surprise. The first being James Marsden. If you think that this guy can only stand around brooding, this movie will prove you wrong. Who knew that under those ruby tinted glasses Cyclops had a sense of humor? Seriously, Marsden turns in possibly the greatest performance in the movie as the dick of a brother who is more interested in his car then his younger sibling. I was laughing out loud at almost every scene he was in. Also, there are some pretty great cameos here and there, from Seth Green as a less then straight-forward Amish to David Koechner as a surly hitchhiker.

In the end, if there were a high school where Teen Sex Comedies attended, Sex Drive would be the shy quiet guy sitting in the courtyard during lunch. Not as loud, obnoxious and cocky as the kids at the cool table like American Pie or Van Wilder. It’s not as cool and funny as the Seniors (Animal House or Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Yet, not nearly as annoying as the freshmen (Eurotrip, American Pie 4-87). Ultimately, Sex Drive is one of those types of movies that is funny at times, slightly annoying but not overly so, and in the long run will be remembered as that kid you sat next to in Algebra 2… you know, the one that was kind of nice but you can’t for the life of you remember his name.

I’m going to start this off by admiting something to all of you. A dirty secret in my sordid past. I am… a closet PACAG. For those of you that don’t know, a PACAG is a Point And Click Adventure Geek. I know that there are alot of us out there too. People who couldn’t get enough of the classics from Seirra and LucasArts. People who had to rush out and get their hands on the new KQ or Monkey Island, The Dig or Full Throttle! (I don’t include the Myst games here because in my opinion a book is still boring even if it includes a boring video world inside.)

The problem is that for some horrible reason the gaming world decided one day that point and click games weren’t exciting enough for players anymore. That the players wanted more first person shooters and fighting games. And thus my little gaming heart was broken. Until a few years ago that is.

It wasn’t the big guys that mended their woeful ways. No. It was a little producer called Telltale Games. They decided that, yes, gamers do miss the irreverent humor and sense of accomplishment that comes from a great PAC. With the release of their monthly(ish) episodic games based on the Sam and Max comics they proved that even in a Halo/GTA world there is still room for silly fun with a pointer!

Now they have released the first episode of a new series. This time it is based on the very popular web cartoon site: Homestar Runner. The game of course being: Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Awesome People: Episode One: Homestar Ruiner (For PC and WiiWare).

In the game you take up the mantle of the titual character Strong Bad, a powerfully machismosed Luche Libre with a fast wit and quick fists! (Or at least that’s how he want’s me to describe him.) You start off doing what Mr. Bad does best, answering emails, from there the adventure takes off. I really don’t want to go into too much detail of the plot since that’s what’s so fun with these games.

I will tell you this. If you are a fan of the Homestar Runner cartoons and the humor of the Brother’s Chap then you probably don’t even need to read this review as you are already playing the game. Everything is here, the characters are all voiced by their original people (really mostly Matt Chapman), the writing is exactly what you would expect from one of the cartoons and the game itself looks fantastic. Some of the best times I had in the game was actually getting to create my own Teen Girl Squad comic and play with some of Strong Bad’s Videlectrix games. (Snake Boxer is awesome!) One of the best things I love about the Homestar Runner world is their take on video games. They have lampooned everything from classic Atari to King’s Quest, each time getting it right. Now with SBCGFA:E1:HR they have taken on the PAC adventure and really nailed it.

On the whole the game does what it sets out to do extremely well. Namely, take the point and click adventure and give it a Homestar feel. It’s what I love about Telltale Games. They really do go right to the source for their games and harvest the best out of them to make a game that both fans of the subject matter and fans of games in general can enjoy.

If you enjoy playing a game that will tickle your funny bone and sometimes give you a head scratching, then I would definitely recommend this game, and probably the whole series, to you. A brief warning though, if you don’t like Homestar (and I know there are at least 2 people who don’t) then you should probably steer clear of this one, as that’s all it is. For everyone else though, enjoy this great addition to the Brother’s Chap universe and have fun clicking away!

There are many reasons for the heavy-set, such as myself, to lament being the shape that they are. You can’t run that 7 minute mile. You have to work extra hard to get that girl. You are forced to wear that ass-ugly Hawaiian shirt. With life beset on all sides because of hardships like these, there has always been a bastion in the storm: video games.

It used to be a level playing field. You could have a professional athlete, a pretty boy and a fatty all play against each other and it didn’t matter. In fact, the fat guy (or girl, I won’t be sexist) probably had the advantage because they realistically played the game more while they weren’t out wasting time with winning football games or scoring with chicks (or dudes…except maybe virtually). It was a glorious time. A time of Mario and Link. A time of Halo and MGS. A time where the only slight disturbance was having to pause your Counter Strike game to go get more Cheetos and Mountain Dew. And all was good.

Then came the crafty Japanese and their need for “physical activity” in games. It started off innocently enough with Dance Dance Revolution. A game meant for children that was funny to watch older people make idiots of themselves on. I mean really, tapping arrows with your feet does not a Baryshnikov or a Timberlake make. It was fine, though, because you didn’t have to play it if you didn’t want to. But things, as they tend to do, got worse…

With the success of DDR, more and more rhythm games and physical games started popping up. The best of which was Guitar Hero, because it could still be played sitting on a chair and rocking out Eric Clapton style and one did not necessarily look lazy with that choice of sitting – as opposed to pretending like you were performing with the real band, impressing either party goers or your uncles and aunts.

Then came the Wii… Oh Wii… How you broke my heart. I bought the Wii on release day. I waited in line for 4 hours to get a presale for it. I thought “sure, it’s a little physically damanding… but who can turn down the draw of Zelda, Mario and Metroid?” At first it was fine. Bowling is fun, but it’s a fat sport. Baseball was great since you didn’t have to run (and also, Baseball is a fat sport too). Zelda was great because you could perform all movements in short swipes. Then the challenges started.

The first time I noticed the gaming world turning out from under my cushioned butt was Tiger Woods 2008 for the Wii. I bought it thinking, “I like to golf!” (And I do. It’s the one sport I truly love doing in the real world.) Why not buy a game where you can interact like a real club? I will tell you why people. In the real game of golf, one can buy fat guy clubs. These clubs have a little extra length for the compensation of the belly room needed. In Tiger Woods, there is no such calibration for your virtual club. When you swing, the belly space isn’t taken into account. You end up slicing that glorious belly of yours like nobody’s business. That and it’s tiring. Standing up all the time. Where’s my go-kart time? Where’s my beer caddy? The upshot to this is that a friend and I discovered that you don’t have to stand and play…the game will recognize the swing even if you are sitting down and swinging the Wii-mote over your head. Problem solved!

Then came Metroid. What’s the problem with Metroid you ask? Nothing. The game is brilliant and it is a ton of fun – until the controls stop being recognized by the Wii. The game is set up so that in order to turn around you need to point at different sides of the screen. There are also many points where you have to point and pull to interact with items and puzzles in the game. Once again… the gut gets in the way.

Us gravity-challenged individuals know that when you have the food baby in front of you, you are always compensating for extra arm room. This makes it so that when our arms are at rest they are further apart then those of a skinny person (I call them twigs). Twigs have no problems with games that are played like Metroid because the controls were designed with their stick-bug like physiology in mind. Due to our larger proportions, the controls become unstable and Samus can’t turn around fast enough to attack the evil space pirate shooting her well rounded female space bountyhunter ass. Most frustrating, she can’t pull controls to shut off a force field while those pesky space pirates keep showing up and turning them on again! And you just want to move on with the goddam game! But once again the controls get all wonky in your breadloaf sized hands and you end up turning it off and consoling yourself with a meatball subsandwich (though maybe that’s just me).

And don’t even get me started on Rock Band.

A few months back I decided to invest my hard earned tax return in a little game called Rock Band. It was great at first. I love the singing and guitar. I finally started challenging myself with the drums a few weeks ago and after mastering Easy I set out to try Medium (yeah, don’t hate the talent!). The main difference between the two? More foot pedal for the kick drum.

After playing this for a few weeks I’ve come to realize one thing: there are not that many fat drummers.

Yes, I know a select few of you can name 5 off the top of your head, but for us mere laymen there really aren’t that many. Sure, most drummers aren’t in peak physical condition – most are either skinny fat (too much beer) or skinny skinny (too much blow). All this aside, I do believe I know the reason for this absence of girth: Counter Rhythms.

Allow me to explain: Physics states that for each action there is an equal and opposite re-action. In this case, the force of hitting the drums and pressing the foot pad down causes an equal force up. On most healthy-proportioned people this would be hardly noticable – possibly a little jump upward on the down beat. That’s the twigs. When you get a heavier set person, such as myself, on the drums…you get what I like to call the “Belly Beat”. For each strike down on the drums, the belly goes up a half second later, creating a horrible off tempo beat. What does this do? IT THROWS EVERYTHING OUT OF RHYTHM!

Now you try to play Green Grass and High Tides and see if you don’t go way off beat when the fast part comes along.

After dabbling in these games of frustration, I have decided that they may be good for most folks but not for me. Thank God GTA4 will be out by the end of the month. At least in that game I don’t have to burn any calories while athletically running away from the cops after bashing a hooker’s head in with a lead pipe and taking her hard-earned drug money back.