James Gunn’s PG Porn

Porn and I have a long long… long history together. I remember my first glimpse at naked flesh on page. It was an old Hustler that had been thrown away in the field next to the water tower behind my house. I was 11 years old. When I saw those glorious water-warped images I knew my life would never be the same. The first time that I beheld a porn video, I got the exact same feeling. The sight of the heaving celluloid breasts and the man, who was dressed as a clown, pounding her into a new dimension was enough to change this innocent little boy’s life forever (yes, it was a 70’s clown porn that my friend had stolen from his father, yes, it was very disturbing, and yes, it was completely hot!) After that I would spend my life trying to find more.

These were the days before the internet, when kids had to scrounge around in their father’s closets to find their dufflebag full of magazine’s and tapes. These were the days before DVD’s, when you only had one angle and that was of a hairy ball-sack coming at your face. It was a simpler time. A time when there was more to porn then just fake breasts and huge penii. A time when porn was still considered a semi-valid form of acting (well, at least they were trying) where people like Sylvester Stalone could come and have a good old fashioned Sausage Party and then win an Oscar for Rocky. When Taboo 2 wasn’t just about a son and daughter fucking, but about a family fighting to stay together no matter what the cost. With the rise of the internet and in an age of Brian Gilmores opening up 14 different windows in a Quicktime movie mosaic to watch 14 different free samples on loop (Editor’s Note: you’re welcome for that idea, guys) to get their jollies off, these sort of films have fallen to the wayside.

Where does that leave people like me though? Where does that leave Ben Dunn? People who enjoy the complex storylines, not just the meat train to tuna town? We clamour for more. For the silly stories and the bad acting. For the $5 production values and the boom mic hitting an actress in the crotch. Where do WE find OUR satisfaction?

Now? Now we have James Gunn’s PG Porn.

James Gunn is a sick sick man. You might know this if you have ever watched any of his films. Films such as Slither, Tromeo and Juliet, or Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. (Ok, he just wrote SD2:MU, but still. What a sick fuck!) James is also one of the funniest guys in the film industry – once again, look at his filmography.

What he has done with PG Porn is taken out all of the needless sex and kept all the glorious exposition. As he says in his blog; this is a world where a person who orders a pizza gets exactly what they want, a delcious pizza. Written by James and his brothers, PG Porn is looking to revolutionize the industry, and the world, by having complex stories done with the style and panache of the greats like Peter North and Ron Jeremy (Ok, not really, but when else will I be able to use the words “revolutionize”, “panache” and “porn” in the same sentence?!). If their first instalment, “Nailing Your Wife” with Nathan Fillion and Aria Giovanni is any indication on where this series is headed, they might have just pulled it off.

“Nailing Your Wife” has it all. The story of a lonely house wife coming to meet her dullard of a husband at work, only to find that he has forgotten about her again, she finds solice in the arms of her husband’s employee. The look is there, as it was shot in a basement made to look like a construction site. The feel is there and the music is synthly awesome. Lord knows the acting is there – if you didn’t know Nathan Fillion before, you would simply believe that he had never learned to read or act. Most importantly, the sex isn’t there. James does a great job in the end, too, twisting it to his own warped style.

I am truly looking forward to more from the web-series (especially the Peanuts inspired scene with Belladonna and Michael Rosenbaum!) as they have accomplished what they set out to do. Make a porn that is fun for the whole family!

You can check out James Gunn’s PG Porn at their site: PG Porn or Spike TV