Author: jake108

THIS WEEK: CAMO

If you were a Beta player, then you’ll know that Camo has received a few tweaks regarding how visible you are while you move since Halo 3. In a way, the special ability has “evolved” (even though it’s a prequel.) If you were an avid Halo 3 player since the beginning then you’ll know that Reach’s Camo shares same purpose as the Radar Jammer in Halo 3 did, therefore in Reach, you get Camo and Radar Jammer combined. If you take anything from what I’m saying right now, it’s that you must know that Camo class in Reach has TWO purposes. (Complex, right?! Let’s see what else is in store for this week…)

How to use it (Camo)

The quicker you move, the faster you die. No, really. The faster you move, the more visible you are and the more likely you are to die a horrible, cocksure death. Remember that when you’re on your way to the enemy location. Also, take note that this Armor Ability can be activated and deactivated at any time. It does not take juice to start up like Armor Lock and Jetpack do, which actually makes it quite awesome… even though it kind of has a “the more you work, the less money you make” type of feel to use it at first.

When to use it

When scrambling your enemy’s motion tracker so that you and your teammates can pull a Sam Fisher, or a Ninja Gaiden, or a Batman in Arkham Asylum, or a Boo.

To become The Dark Defender, I’m sorry, what I really meant to say was to blend into dark corners so you can sneak up on your prey like a child molester, you don’t move and use your armor ability to its best advantage… but ONLY if you’re in a high traffic area where you won’t be camping and NOT killing people. Nothing worse than a camper who’s sitting there for no reason… although this IS the best armor ability for getting up and microwaving some pizza rolls.

While Sniping. Yes, you’re visible when you fire, and yes, this pisses people off to no end in Doubles Arena, as it should because you’re basically a machine (unless you camp too much and people find out where your base of operations is.) This actually brings up a good point, when finding good spots, find good spotS, as in not just one. 

When NOT to use it

While running across the battlefield yelling your battle cry at the top of your lungs. Everyone can see you, you idiot. You’re defeating the point of your armor ability.

When no one is around, because seriously, that’s just a waste. Intelligent camping is one thing, but it’s another to activate it as soon as the enemy comes into range.

In a doorway. “Hurrrp durrrp, they’re not going notice me here!” You look like the Predator, getcho butt off the dancefloor.

Remember that when you choose the Camo class, you’re taking on two responsibilities. If you do your job right, and support your teammates with your motion tracker scrambler, then you’ve got yourself happy teammates. Just to refresh, your responsibilities are to pick people off from a secret distance and to discombobulate your enemies for your peeps.

FAN SUBMITTED CONTENT

Having trouble with some firefight achievements? Wolfnsheepskin has you covered. Download his Million Point Help gametype and you’ll be on your way!

You should also read HBO every single day.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

We’re into another week of Reach tips. So far, we’ve been having a blast descending from the heavens like the archangel Michael and making everyone wish they weren’t born. But now… what a lot of people view as the “sissy” or “wimp” or [insert word people actually use] armor ability.

THIS WEEK: Armor Lock

POP, LOCK, AND DROP

Armor Lock comes in handy small and medium sized maps. I know when I play on Countdown, Big Team Battle, I’m already expecting to get frustrated with Sprint and other Armor Abilities. Your goal here is to piss off the enemy team, and not yours.

How to use it: When the firefight gets too crazy, don’t be afraid to use Armor Lock. Remember that it takes a full second to actually start it, and it will drain as you use it. If you do it for a second, you WILL NOT have enough juice to be in Armor Lock a second time right away. Also, never block a doorway your teammates are using while you’re in “alone time”. That’s just rude.

When to use it:

In a small area, if not to survive, then to preserve your life long enough for your teammates to escape. Jerks WILL focus on you, because you’ll be an easier kill.

When knocking out an enemy’s Drop Shield.

When stickies are being thrown at you, or when the Plasma Launcher is launching Plasmas at you. Listen for beeps. If you hear this, it’s Armor time.

Right before an enemy melees you. Let go of LB and upon exiting Armor Lock, your opponents shields will be disabled. One melee hit to the groin, and you got yourself a kill. That’s right. Armor lock doesn’t just arm you, but it disarms your enemies. Welcome to the jungle; Axel Rose is gonna watch you bleed.

In front of a vehicle about to splatter you, because come on, nothing looks or feels more badass.That’s right, if a ghost is chasing you, you can get  your lock on and it’ll be like it crashed into a wall, because at that point you’ve become a human motherflipping wall.

When NOT to use it:

Next to a teammate who has deployed a Medic shield. The EMP blast will knock the shield out. This means you will be a jerk, kicking over sandcastles. Don’t knock over your teammate’s sandcastle. It’s mean and they’ll tell their mom, who according to people in the Matchmaking Lobby, isn’t that nice of a lady.

Next to a teammate Sniper. You’ll draw attention them, ruin their ninja work, and maybe you’ll feel bad afterward. By maybe we mean you will. Because you should.

When you’re out there on battlefield, just use your common sense. Don’t use it when you’re not in danger. The BEST times to use it are when you’re almost dead and are upon the time when your shields recharge. If you’re in Armor Lock when they do, your shields will recharge while you’re invincible. Keep that in mind.

Fan Submitted Content!

Tune in next week for your next dose of armor abilities from Teabag and how to use them. We’ll also tell you how to live the rest of your life in a new, non-existent, series we call “Teabag Prevention: How to Get a Date… and Keep It.”

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

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Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

This is the second week into Teabag’s Reach tips. Sure, time flies, but let it be known, that doesn’t mean you should always be doing the same…

PACKING HEAT

How to use a Jetpack: Usually, JetPackers use their Armor Ability to get to hard-to-reach-places, fly like an eagle into the future and to get a height advantage on enemy faces/heads. The problem with this is that there’s no cover in the air. This is the first thing that people starting out with the jetpack while playing the Rocketeer theme in their head forget.

Be kind to your Jet Pack, pretend it’s real and that you paid $50,000 for it. Use it in bursts instead of of holding down LB until that “oh crap” moment hits. The only reasonable situation to use it all at once is if you’re flying straight into the air only to land on something once you reach the appropriate altitude. Never fly over enemy-controlled areas, because you are likely to get shot down; even if these mofos suck at Reach, you can bet your balls that they at least have played Duck Hunt at some point in their lives. And this time, that a-hole dog won’t be there to laugh at them if they miss.

When to use it:

Hijacking Banshees

Getting the drop on enemy opponents as well as getting easy headshots from above.

My favorite, hijack an enemy vehicle, drive it off the edge, and Jet Pack back to the map.

When NOT to use it:

Jet-Packing straight into the air….and then falling to your death. Like a tool.

Don’t try to be a hero, don’t confront a tank in the air… unless you’re INSANELY bored.

NOTE: Jet packs are GREAT for certain maps where the areas are small, but open to the skies. Choosing the right armor ability for the right maps can mean the difference between running around and getting shot at for ten minutes and actually coming out with a victory. Keep your eyes on the size and scopes of the map and try and see if the map has a lot of high structures to stand on. If it does, you might be able to have the upper hand over anyone who chose a land-locked ability.

Use these awesome “let’s see you have THIS, Call of Duty!” addition to the Halo multiplayer universe wisely. Don’t abuse it, even though they put the “fun” back in “function” and remember what you learned here. Now fly, Spartan, fly like a leaf on the wind… as we all watch how you *IMPALED*

Need a Team Slayer map to play on? Duke Mama submitted their map to us so be sure to check it out! Just be sure to set it on Red vs Blue Team Slayer!

That’s it for this week. Tune in next week for our continuation on loadouts and armor abilities! Also, don’t be shy, add Gilmore and I on XBL! Links below.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

Well boys, girls and goblins, Halo: Reach is officially here. I had to change clothes when I got home with it too. And with the amount of options, gametypes, maps, and everything else, I can assure you Teabag Prevention will be here for a while. Now, without further ado, our first official Reach article…

THIS WEEK: HOW TO GET THROUGH LEGENDARY WITH YOUR BUDDIES

TIP #1 – SPARTANS! ASSEMBLE!

This is going to be important, which is why it’s the first tip. Assuming you have three friends with you throughout the campaign, you’re going to want to assign each other weapons to carry.

There should be ONE short-ranged Spartan. Weapons to carry should include:

• Shotgun
• Plasma Repeater
• Grenades
• Plasma Rifle
• Assault Rifle
• Sword

There should be TWO mid-ranged Spartans. You’re going to be covering each other in addition to the short-ranged teammate.

You two should carry:

• DMR
• Assault Rifle
• Needler Rifle
• Concussion Rifle
• Grenade Launcher
• Plasma Pistol
• Pistol
• Rockets
• Fuel Rod Cannon
• Needler
• Plasma Repeater

There should also be ONE long-ranged Spartan as well. This Spartan will cover everyone on the team and stay in the back in most of the battles. This Spartan will also serve as the designated spawner. More on that in the next tip.  

This person should carry:

• DMR
• Needle Rifle
• Sniper Rifle
• Pistol
• Needler
• Plasma Launcher
• Beam Rifle

TIP #2 – THE DESIGNATED SPAWNER

Playing on Legendary can be tricky business considering the smart A.I. you’re going to encounter. It’s not unusual to have an Elite to become your Rear Admiral. That get you? No? How ’bout this: It’s not unusual for an Elite to plug the holes you left open on your six. And yes, it’s not unusual for an Elite to love anyone or have fun with anyone.

A designated spawner is the Spartan who always stays alive. This teammate is going to have to move from cover to cover in battles, always providing your team with the opportunity to respawn and therefore survive. This will allow you and your team to progress efficiently, and not “lose” any battles.

TIP #3 – THE DISTRACTION

A distraction is almost always needed in heated battles. For one thing, it makes battles noticeably easier. Distractions range anywhere from one Spartan flanking a group of enemies to a Spartan having the Hologram armor ability.

It’s up to you and your team to figure out how to get his portion of the job done, just be sure you and your team know what the plan is before going in. The basic idea is: someone draws fire while the rest of the team pwns some serious bootay on the distracted foes.

TIP #4 – FOCUS FIRE

As mentioned before, the enemies in Reach are actually pretty tricky business. On Legendary, there’s never just one Super Covie. By Super Covie, I mean Brutes, Elites, and Hunters. When one of these Super Covies appear, have your team focus fire on it and take them out one by one. Too many times have I witnessed deaths and shortage of ammo for DMRs and Pistols as a direct result from trying to kill multiple enemies at once.

Just aim for the head if it’s anything but a Hunter. If it’s a Hunter, then aim for their bare, school-inappropriate midriff.

That’s it for the first of many tips columns on the new Reach game. Have fun on this, the Christmas of the Halo Universe: the first weekend after Reach’s release. Go forth. Be fruitful and kill everybody.

As a side note, feel free to post comments regarding things we missed or suggestions. As always, email us with screenshots, map files, gametypes, or anything Reach! We’ll always post the best stuff in the next week’s article, so have fun with it!

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

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Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

Another double exp weekend, another way to get teabag. That’s what could happen, and this is what should:

THIS WEEK: 3 BALL

In 3 Ball, four teams of three go after three oddballs that are scattered around the map. Holding two at once will earn you points faster than those holding just one. Apply team strategy and you’ll be on your way.

TIP #1 – All you eager beavers out there…

…don’t even think about going after the oddball right off the bat. It’s stupid, suicidal, and it doesn’t help anyone but the opposing teams.

This person spent the beginning of their match in respawn.

TIP #2 – Bubble Shields are your BEST friends

For frequent oddball players, this is already a given. Just because you have two teammates by you doesn’t make this fact any less true. If anything, it can be the deciding factor if you win the match or not.

Just make sure that you’re not completely alone.

TIP #3 – Your Knight in Shining Armor

It’s a good idea to have just one teammate protect two others who are holding oddballs. Once you and your team find a secure place to set up camp, have one stand guard and fight off enemies while the other two build up points.

And if he or she dies…

Split up so that you can hopefully keep gaining points as long as can on the run. That, or throw down a bubble shield.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

As you may or may not know, This weeks Double EXP Weekend Playlist is Rocket Race. Believe it or not, teabaging exists in this playlist too. So here I am (rock you like a hurricane), preventing you from getting bagged over the head.

THIS WEEK: ROCKET RACE

TIP #1 – ALWAYS AIM AHEAD

If you’ve been a long time reader, or already know how to use Rockets in a manner most don’t know how to, you’ll already know that you must aim ahead of your target. This goes for people on Mongeese especially. 

Now I’m not saying to whip out a some formulas and measure the distance and speed of the mongoose, just think of it this way: The farther they are, the further you have to aim ahead of them. Also, you might always get lucky with splash damage, but a direct hit is what’s really going to rock their world, so aim carefully, my friends.

TIP #2 – SPLASH DAMAGE

In every video game with a Rocket Launcher, there’s bound to be some splash damage from the actual rocket explosion. Here in Halo, you must account for that when dealing with vehicles or close quarter combat. Say for instance aiming ahead of them is just not going to happen. In that case, take advantage of the splash damage and hit them from behind with your splash damage.

A rocket to the ground beneath them is sure to send a small vehicle, like a mongoose, flying uncontrollably. Don’t forget you have TWO rockets per every load. Once they land, let ’em have it again. But only once they land. This will extend their frustration and further their disorientation. The worst part about the screengrab above is that the guy on the back can TOTALLY see what’s coming.

And if you’re feeling like a jerk…

…don’t let them back on.

TIP #3 – BEWARE THE LONERS

Some players are like women who’ve been betrayed and instead of seeking revenge on the man who made them sad, these players are seeking revenge on the world. In just about every Rocket Race match, there’s bound to be players who walk the map simply to ruin your day.

Much like your parents told you to do in case of homeless people or bullies when you were little, IGNORE THEM. Ignore them because all they want is attention, or to hear you call them a jerk. The more of a rise they get out of you the more they win, and the more you lose in the game and in life. Eff these guys, try to get them booted and just do your best to do your best in the game when they’re around.

Also, make sure not to agitate them. They’re kind of like sharks, they might casually or even accidentally hurt you, but if they catch your scent, they will follow you until they eat your hands off… yep. EXACTLY like sharks.

Happy Rocket Racing!

If you haven’t become a Teabag Prevention fan, and want a Noble 6 Comic-Con Exclusive Helmet, now’s the time. I received a couple of extra codes for waiting in line to play Reach. Who knows? It may look as good on your head as it does mine…

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

 Jonathan here with a new report from Jake108 on his Comic Con 2010 experience. And when you think of Comic Con 2010… what exactly do you think of? Well VIDEOGAMES of course! Wait… what?!? Okay, so maybe the Con is getting a little bit off track with all of the Hollywood blockbusters and TV shows taking the focus on the floor along with giant videogame releases, but I myself am guilty of having visited the Behemoth booth a few times in my travels on the floor. So what WERE the games that deserved to be played this year in San Diego? Read on and find out!

Star Wars: Force Unleashed II

SW: FU II’s story is said to be Starkiller-centered. The reason behind the double lightsabers you ask? Well, that’s because the creators wanted to give off the impression that this was the sequel and in fact different from the first game. Customizable lightsaber colors and holocrons will indeed return, as well as a dash of exploration. The game is designed to be a full story that gets you from point A to point B. When that’s something needs to be consciously advertised, it really puts in perspective the short comings of the first game. Come on, guys! Even Bonk’s Revenge got that right!

Mega Man Universe

Not much was revealed about Mega Man Universe. We were shown the trailer that’s already up on their website now. After some heckling from the crowd, the Father of Megaman hinted at future projects involving our little blue hero.

Halo: Reach

By now, I’m sure you’ve read everything having to do with the panel. So I’m going to give you something no other website, blog, or vidcast has: My insights.

First off, Hemorrhage, the Blood Gulch remake, is a gigantic map. Even with a Banshee and the Falcon, (Hornet predecessor), it still took some time to make it across the whole map.

Second, the versus Firefight was an excellent idea. If you don’t know what this is already, Firefight Versus allows a team of players to fight alongside Covies against Spartans, then the two sides switch. Mind you, the Spartans on the other team aren’t bots. They could be your gaming buddy or someone in matchmaking. What used to be 1v1 matches against one of my friends can very well turn into a Firefight Versus match instead. Playing the game was competitive, fun, and fresh Halo goodness. There’s nothing like moving with a pack of Jackles. Or assassinating the same Spartan with your Sword for the third time in a row.
 
Third, I’m not too crazy about limited edition consoles, but what they showed today was amazing. I did without the Limited Edition Halo 3 console, but this bundle might be too much to just overlook. Releasing with TWO controllers, a new model 360, and with the game itself. What makes this bundle awesome are the two ONI insignias placed at the sides of the console.

MARVEL vs. CAPCOM 3

I can’t be more excited to play the retail version of this game. During Comic-Con, it was revealed to us that Chun-Li (Street Fighter), Dr. Doom, Super Skrull, Thor, Trish (Devil May Cry), and Amateras (Okami) would be appearing in the game as playable characters.

What was also talked about was cameos by certain characters from both universes. Whether this would be in-game, cinematics, or endings was unclear. Still, the idea of cameos being in MvC 3 can make the game THAT much more exciting.

GEARS OF WAR 3

Having played the game and sitting in on the panel, I can say I’m definitely excited for Gears 3. While I can’t talk to much about what I saw, I can tell you that executions will be brutal. At the Xbox Booth, I played some Beast Mode. Cliffy B himself said it was unfair to compare Beast Mode to a Horde mode from the Locust point of view, and to a certain extent, he’s right.

In Beast Mode, players work together to take down a team of either COGs or Strandeds. The first teir of Locusts include Wreches and Tickers. As you progress, you get to try you hand at Grinders, Maulers, a couple of new Locusts, and my favorite, Berserkers. You may wonder how it’s possible to play as a Locust who’s blind. The outer sides of the screen are blurred out while the center is a little clear. Your only options are to pound on the ground, walk, or charge. As for the Boomer classes, it’s everything you’d expect with a ton of fun added.

First thing’s first: Any long-time fans reading know that I was at Comic-Con last year with updates from the event itself. This year will be no different. Expect to have updates on video games, movies, and everything else I happen to run into on the showfloor.

One thing I WILL be covering is Reach. If I have the chance to ask any questions to anyone Reach related, I will. If YOU have any questions for me to ask, feel free to post below. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and Facebook to get updated. (See my bottom (of my article) for Facebook and Twitter links.)

Now, on with the article. Since this week’s Double EXP Playlist is Mythic Brawl, we’ve devised a quick list to refresh your memory on how to win while flying solo, like you’re used to.

THIS WEEK: FREE FOR ALL TIPS

TIP #1 – USE THEM ‘NADES!

‘Nade placement is a HUGE skill to develop. Once you get his down, you’ll soon find out how easier killing your enemies will be. What do I mean by this? Observe:

Your skill building begins by throwing a grenade at a destination your opponent is heading towards, not where he is. In this case, my enemy is running toward me. By throwing the grenade between us, it damages him enough to leave him vulnerable to a single shot.

Don’t forget you can also “clean up” battling enemies like a jerk, but hey, that’s why we’re alone isn’t it? It’s okay to cry.

TIP #2 – CAMPERS

You don’t have to be an avid Halo player to know that campers are common in any Free for All match. A camper’s usual mode of strategy involves hiding somewhere hidden with a power weapon. This example can’t get any better than this:

Keep your eyes peeled. There’s a rockets-a-transpirins. Also, if you never do this, you’re awesome. If you do, JUMP for God’s sake, JUMP. These people are expecting you and your motion sensor invisibility doesn’t work when people are rushing towards with shooting an assault rifle.

TIP #3 – Brutey Two Shot

Believe it or not, a Brute shot is a great weapon to have. If you run across a Brute Shot, it’s better to have it over an Assault Rifle, and depending on your playstyle, Plasma Rifles too. You see, all it takes are a couple of Brute Shot shots and a melee to get a kill. If you want to stay your distance, just fire away at your target, but ALWAYS from a distance. A lot of people make the mistake of using this at close distance, but THIS IS NOT A SHORT DISTANCE WEAPON, but the perfect mid range weapon for someone like this red guy over here. At least I think he’s red… must be the blood.

As long as you land your shots, you won’t have to reload. Much like the grenades, you have to shoot a little bit ahead with this one, so get good at that strategy and learning where people will go and you’re gravy. Delicious, delicious gravy.

TIP# 4 – Power-ups and Power Weapons

By now, you should know all about power weapons and power-ups. These go hand in hand with winning, if you know how to use them. In a setting where everyone is trying to kill each other, it’s better lure bait into traps, attack from a distance, or straight up hitting them in the face.

Mid-range attacks don’t bode well due the fact that ANYONE can pick off your kill. If you are engaging in mid-range attacks, it’s better to stick with the one weapon that has the highest chance at killing someone:

The Rocket Launcher.

So remember, boys ‘n girls, in an FFA match, everyone and everything is your enemy. Don’t fall prey to environmental hazards, traps, or get caught in the cross-fire. Keep your cool when your kills get picked off, and don’t rely on anything but yourself and your weapon of choice. Lock and load, get to know the fact that you’re going to become an opportunist, and NEVER STOP MOVING. Keep your ears peeled and for the love of God use your motion sensor. It’s really your best (and only) friend in a FFA.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

Good news everyone! Teabag Prevention is back to help you prevent balls in your face! With this Double EXP Weekend Playlist heavily relying on team combat, we decided to give a quick rundown on what to remember when fighting as a team, because remember kids, there’s no “i” in team.

THIS WEEK: TEAM TIPS

TIP #1 – IF YOU’RE GONNA GO OUT ALONE, DO IT WITH STEALTH

If you’re a regular reader, it’s no secret that we encourage you to stick with your team, focus fire on target(or “stay on target”), and watch/wash each other’s backs. By now, you’ll also know that we understand those of you (us) who are naturals at going out on a hunt alone, away from the team. If that’s the case, we here at Teabag Headquarters want you to know that you need to Solid Snake that shit. Sam Fisher those motherfuckers. Ezio Auditore da Firenze those bitches out of Halo.

                                                                                   “Danny Booooooooy!“

TIP #2 – NO ONE LIKES A BETRAYER

Boys and Girls, this is a simple concept, yet so many don’t understand. When you see a teammate fighting an enemy at close range, don’t throw a grenade or fire at them. Just don’t do it. This is what might happen:

A: Kill them both and have them both seek revenge on you.

B: Only kill your teammate.

C: Not kill anyone and look like an asshole.

                                                  “Double explosion, oh my God. What does it meeeeean?”

Spam grenades as a team.

Protip (and repeat it with us): We do not shoot THROUGH our teammates.

TIP #3 – BE AWARE OF POWER-UP’S & WEAPON SPAWNS

Things like Overshields and Active Camos can really change the course of the match. As a team, it’s up to all of you to lockdown these power-ups. You and your teammates should decide who should pick up what, just as long as the other team doesn’t get to it first.

                   Get this for your team, even if you’re just going to waste it by charging while shooting an Assault Rifle.

The same thing goes for power weapons. Power weapons include the Rocket Launcher, Sniper Rifle, Spartan Laser, etc…you get the idea. Once again, better that you or your team has it than the enemy team, so just always make sure you’re contributin’ and go for ’em so other can’t have them. Kinda like if you’re at a bar, or if you’re younger/underaged, kinda like if you’re illegally at a bar.

“Double Spartan Sword blade in the sky! This is so intense…”

In short, stick together, don’t betray, control the map as a team and you should do fine. Lone Wolves usually don’t do too well in Team maps because they don’t adhere to these basic rules of Haletiquette (that’s Halo etiquette for those of you from overseas). So go out into the double EXP weekend knowing you’ve done your homework, you’ve learned some basic rules of how to play well with others and that you can whoop ass WITH people, not despite them.

Everyone sing kumbaya with us now!

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Earlier this week, our writer AndyB0y reviewed the single player portion of Transformers: War for Cybertron and he wasn’t too impressed. Are you an avid Transformers fan that is still thinking about buying this game? Well, the COUNTER answer I bring you based on the game’s multiplayer capabilities is: you should.

Player Classes and Customization

Before diving into the multiplayer, you’re going to want to get familiar with with the different classes, colors, and weapons offered to each class of Autobot and Decepticon. It’s also important to note that you level up these specific classes as you play, until you reach level 100.

Each class has different perks and killstreaks and transforms into a type of vehicle similar to the ones we have in real life (what, YOU don’t have a transforming car? Get your life together). When you customize each class, you customize the color, weapons loadout, two abilities, and three upgrades for your abilities. Even though some weapons are only available to certain classes at the start of the match, you can always pick weapons up during the match.

Scout (Small Car)

The Scout class transforms into what I like to call a small Hotwheel. With this class, you can zoom across the map to catch the enemy team off guard with your machine guns, reigning down like the fires of heaven.

The Null Ray, (Sniper Rifle), and the Scatter Blaster (Shotgun) are exclusive to this class. Your abilities allow you to dash and cloak yourself in the battlefield. Keep in mind this little guy is small whether you’re in Car form or not.

Scientist (Jet)

Scientists attack with advanced technology more than anything. One class-specific weapon has the power to heal teammates and destroy enemies. Their abilities include spawning a Sentry Turret and having an overshield on the battlefield. It’s also important to note that their grenades spawn a bubble that heals themselves and teammates.

One might consider this the best class solely because of the flight factor. With the click of a thumbstick, you’ll find yourself flying around the map, firing missiles at your foes below, reigning down like the fires of heaven.

Leader (Truck)

The biggest of the Transformers, the Leader class has some pretty damn awesome abilities. Barrier deploys a shield to protect key points and teammates while Warcry buffs your teammate’s armor and damage as well as your own. While they run and travel slower than the other classes, Leaders are to be feared.

Soldier (Tank)

The Soldier is definitely the most comfortable class to begin with. With a Mini-Gun by your side and a Rocket Launcher ready to be at your side, you might be able to dominate the match.

As a Tank, you can hold key points on the map and defend other locations. Abilities include the power to Hover, which increases your damage ouput, and Whirlwind, which causes your Autobot or Decepticon to pull a Hammer out and swing it around.

Gametypes

This game features your regular Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch, which can be really fun, but that alone won’t sell you. While the other four gametypes aren’t that original, I find that playing in the realm of Transformers is enough to keep this game’s multiplayer replayable.

Conquest

In Conquest, Autobots and Decepticons battle for control of power nodes that are set up over the map. The more nodes you control, the more points you get. The game ends when either one team gets the winning total or when time runs out.

Code of Power

Code of Power is best described as 1 flag CTF (in Halo terms). The Code of Power lies on the map as teams battle for control over it. One team must get it, and capture it three times to win.

Countdown to Extinction

In this gametype, one team must plant three bombs in the enemy base. Once that team either succeeds or fails, the sides switch.

Power Struggle

In Power Struggle, teams fight over nodes that are lit with a circle. When you or a teammate get in that circle, your points accumulate. The node rotates around the map, like a variation of King of the Hill.

Escalation

Escalation is this game’s Horde mode. Now, I know it seems bad: “Another game doing the same thing.” I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. With each enemy you kill, you “Power,” which is currency to purchase things on the map. During waves, you fight increasingly difficult enemies who reward you with more power. After each wave, you get little time to prepare for the next. During this preparation, you can buy weapons, ammo, overshields, and grenades. You may also open doors leading to other parts of the map.

The variety of enemies differs as you progress through the waves. As you get to more difficult waves, you get the same difficult enemies. When you’re killed, you go into a last stand mode where you shoot blindly. A teammate must help you up before time runs out and you kind of “bleed out” (oil out?). If there aren’t any teammates around, you may self-destruct and destroy any enemies around (take THAT, Call of Duty). When you enter Escalation, make sure you have a good team because you will run into some bosses.

Just tell me if you liked the game or not, Jake.

I started to enjoy the game when I figured out how to use the specific class sets to my advantage. There is a slight learning curve when it comes to the controls, and though I still get buttons mixed up, it’s no big deal. The gameplay is fluid and at sometimes hectic when you’re in the middle of a firefight, which is great. It’s a fast game and it allows for its multiplayer to be intense. Speed and great reaction times make for GREAT gameplay, kind of like in Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Where would that game be without its speed? I do find that my Transformer “rubber-bands” when too many Transformers are in one hallway, though.

The many customizable options make each multiplayer game different, but great. The fact that I can create my own Transformer, and use it in multiplayer blew my mind. So for any fans out there who haven’t bought this game, I think you’ll enjoy it. For people who aren’t into Transformers too much, but want a new game, it depends on your taste. Do large robots do it for you? Or would does the Wild West seem more appealing? What I can say is that I’m not a hardcore fan of Transformers, but I’m not going to quit this game’s multiplayer anytime soon, I wish I knew how to.

I look forward to what Activision has in store for Transformers in the coming years.

E3 is behind us and it’s memory is fading fast as we shift our attention from excitement over all of the announcements to actually having the games in our hands! So what games made a last impression on me at the expo? Lucky for you, I made a list!

Marvel vs. Capcom 3

As I said in last week’s recap, I’ve heard that some fans are worried as to how the newest addition to the series will work out, and that’s only reasonable. I’m here to tell you that you can put a stop to your worrying and kick-start your excitement.   

Here’s what I noticed right off the bat:

• Updated Graphics – Yes, it still looks like a comic, but MvC3 looks like an addition for the modern age of gaming.
• Detailed backgrounds – While fighting, I couldn’t help but notice all of the detail in the background. Among the things I saw were the Baxter Building (Fantastic Four’s Headquarters), Daily Bugle, and a Captain America Billboard. All of this was visible as a parade of inflatable MvC characters bounced in the distance, including a giant Spider-Man. 
• Different Controls – It was unfamiliar, but I’m not losing sleep over it. I’m sure you’ll be able to customize your scheme once the final game is released. Either way, at least Gilmore now has an excuse for when he gets his ass kicked.

GoldenEye 007

I was excited to play this as soon as it was announced at Nintendo’s press conference. Having invested hours into the N64 version of the game, it was pretty easy getting back into my rhythm. 

• New features include melee and grenades. Use also the L Trigger to aim down the sights of your weapon.
• You are able to invert your Y-Axis before the match starts. This is good for people who will have this on at parties, and of course that means none of us…
• There’s not one major graphical update, but then again, GoldenEye is a classic, therefore do we really need a new engine?

Crackdown 2

I was a big fan of Crackdown, and I’ll continue to be with the release of Crackdown 2. This sequel was both familiar and new, which is what a sequel should be. The basic premise of the game is the same: Clean the streets up of scum and villainy.

• Melee combos. That’s right, tapping the melee button will result in your agent to engage in a badass combo using his fists and legs. As you level up, it’s safe to assume these combos will appear more deadly and powerful.
• The controls have stayed the same, which is a plus. It was really easy to jump in and play and I’m sure any veteran of Crackdown will have no trouble starting up Crackdown 2.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days

During E3, the dev team took us behind closed doors and showed us a single player demo. Though I was not that impressed, it could have been based purely on the fact that I was watching someone else play. In this demo, we saw Kane and Lynch get stuffed into a Chinese police helicopter. Soon after, the two criminals fight for control of the helicopter, and win. The rest of the level consists of fighting other helicopters as Kane, while Lynch pilots the helicopter. One thing I did notice was that the pace of the action going on is just right for a Michael Mann movie like Heat. It’s all hand-held, gritty and intense.

The Game Modes that the team went over with us consisted of Fragile Alliance and Undercover Cop.

In Fragile Alliance, 8 players team up to do a heist.You have 4 minutes to loot and escape. Once the looting commences, any player may become a traitor by killing their teammate and taking their money. Their role change becomes visible to all who are playing by the traitors tag’s color changing to Orange. It is up to the rest of the team to deal with both the traitor and the waves of cops that are coming at you. Those who are killed by cops and traitors get to spawn as cops and try to prevent your old team from escaping. You may also extract revenge on the traitor who killed you. Any traitor who is killed looses their money and gets to spectate for the remainder of the match.

Undercover Cop is similar to Fragile Alliance, only when the heist starts, one of the 8 players will become an undercover cop and must stop the team from succeeding.

Overall, I enjoyed this game and played many rounds of Fragile Alliance. Yes, there are few incentives NOT to become a traitor, but it definitely becomes a risk when you’re trying to save up money for some new guns and what not.

Kinect

We didn’t get to play a whole lot of Kinect, but the game we did play wasn’t so hot. Immediately, I looked to see how Kinect rendered my body and to see if it was accurate with my movement. It was just about perfect. Feeling good about this new tech, I was eager to try this mini-game out.

This Paintball game had us pretending our gun was our hand, like when we were kids, and had us shooting 1940’s Chicago Gangster Style (from our hip). Movement was a little tricky, but eying my body render at the bottom left of my screen helped me realize that this wasn’t Kinect’s fault.

All I can say is that I’m excited to play some more Kinect when it comes out.

Portal 2

Valve’s presentation didn’t fail to impress. It seems that the development team behind Portal 2 knows exactly what the fans want: Another game to tickle the brain. Portal 2 is filled with new factors that will definitely affect gameplay. This sequel looks like it can topple the first. If you haven’t seen any footage yet, you’re missing out.  

Also, another little bit of info you might find interesting was that everything was patented in 1998.

Star Wars: The Old Republic

I’m not a big MMO player, but I’ve played enough City of Heroes to know what’s going on.

The game is set to take place thousands of years before the events of Episode 1. The Galaxy is locked in a Civil War between the Republic and the Sith. Already, the stage is set. During the presentation, the team went over what makes this MMO different from all the other MMO’s out there.

For one, this is Star Wars. Second, this is the first MMO to feature a fully-voiced world. This feature made the game feel like a cross between an Old Republic RPG and an MMO, which is great.

Another perk is having your own starship to explore the galaxy. In your starship, you may have companions that you’ve encountered along the way and various rooms. If you have friends that just want to hang out in the game, you have the ability to hang out there. Your alignment also plays a role as to what your starship will look like.

Leveling up will change your appearance and give you new armor abilities. For example, when walking into a cantina, you may notice a novice Bounty Hunter with little to no armor having a drink. Then you’ll notice another Bounty Hunter down the ways fitted with armor from head to toe. You may also notice the jetpack he’s sporting. Automatically, you know that this guy is experienced and you may ask him to join your guild (or decide to steer clear of him).

The basic gameplay core of The Old Republic is the same as any successful MMO: Play cooperatively with others to achieve your goals.

Halo: Reach

Not much was shown aside from the gameplay trailer at Microsoft’s press conference. What WAS shown was a live demo, and it was fantastic.  

We were told that the campaign level shown, Long Night of Solace, was mid-way through game. The start of the level presents Noble Team on the offensive as they battle their way to a station. One thing to take note of was that there were only 3 Spartans other than Noble Six. Carter, Cat, and Jorge lead the offensive down a beach as drop pods with Elites landed on the shore. Bringing the drop pods back was a great idea.

As the team entered the station, it’s obvious that the Covenant has already made their way through. After clearing the station, you and another Spartan climb into a UNSC Fighter dubbed the Saber. If 4-player co-op is going on, each of you will get their own Saber as you protect an Orbiting space station.

To protect the space station, you must battle waves of Covies who are piloting Banshees and Seph Fighters. The gameplay looked fluid and a combination of Star Fox and Star Wars Rouge Squadron for the 64. If this is Bungie’s last foray into the Halo universe, Reach is looking like it won’t fail to impress.

Teabag Prevention is back! Sorry for the hiatus. College finals came and went and I decided to Bilbo Baggins Geekscape and just disappear for a couple of weeks. There’s no telling how long we’re going to be back for when you take into consideration how much material we have left to cover, but never fear. Teabag Prevention will definitely be covering Halo: Reach for an untold amount of weeks.

So what’s going during this fateful “Summer Before Reach”, you ask? Well, Brian and I thought it’d be best to cover one multiplayer aspect we overlooked: Double Exp Weekend Playlists.

THIS WEEK: PREPARE TO DROP – ODST Slayer

Note: ODST Slayer has players with no shields, reduced speed, and gravity. Already, you’re going to want the height advantage to score some headshots, attack as a team, and remember the fact that Sniper Rifles are one-shot kills.

Did you get your ass kicked last weekend? Well, Teabag Prevention is here to help you realize a couple of things you may have done wrong. We’re like you’re girlfriend, only without all the benefits.

TIP #1 – HEADSHOTS GALORE

A definite mistake is sticking with your Pistol/SMG loadout when you have the chance to pick a Carbine up. At the start of the game, your main focus for the first minute is to find a Carbine and pick it up. This will allow you to have an advantage at mid-range fights.

Remember: Their Pistols can’t zoom in….YET. A Carbine is a little weaker sometimes, but in this game, precision is key.

TIP #2 – STAY INSIDE

Never open yourself up to an attack. Sure, it’s good to peak out sometimes, but most of the time someone is going to be peaking back at you. Also, you’re not playing Call of Duty. This is Halo. Use your freaking motion tracker.

When you do peak out and see someone, don’t try to engage them because they’re already going to have a shot lined up on your face. By the time you move your crosshair to their head, you’ll already be dead.

TIP #3 – WHEN IN DOUBT, MELEE

Headshots aren’t all that when you have a fist in your face. While your urge for violent assassinations hasn’t been quenched for a few weeks now, you may find it relieving when you melee someone. This map type ain’t no horror movie, but you always need to ensure a kill. So always melee after a shot, much like you should be doing when you use the shotgun.

But before you do trying anything dangerous, keep these things in mind:

• Be sure you’re close enough to your target.
• If he or she is looking at you already, it may be best to shoot.
• When hiding in a corner, melee an enemy when they’re close enough or distracted.

Also, tell them your deepest, darkest secret right before you kill them.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

You may be wondering how I’m writing articles while writing articles for E3. Well, I’m writing to you from the past. By the time you read this, I may be lost in the L.A. Convention Center: helpless, alone and in need of a hug/brownie.

THIS WEEK: ASSET ESCORT

Note: Asset Escort is a gametype in the playlist Prepare to Drop. In this gametype, you must escort your VIP to specific locations on the map to score. Once the VIP is killed, the round ends and sides are switched. Have fun!

TIP #1 – MISS MARY SPLAT

This is a game of Hammers and Warthogs. The deciding factors of this game are, of course, the driver and the Hammer wielders. When you have a badass driver, you can expect to score some big points. Now what does a badass driver consist of? A badass driver will change the route up a little to confuse enemies. A badass driver will drive fast and make turns while keeping pace. Above all, a badass driver will splatter your enemies you. The key to driving, generally in Halo (and in real life… don’t sue us…) is to take straight lines everywhere. The shortest distance between two points and all that. Also, you’ll be able to get up a faster speed if you do this.

TIP #2 – BY THE HAMMER OF THOR!

Gravity Hammers are good and all, but did you know it’s best to hit a Warthog on it’s side (clever girl…)? It’s the best way to send it flying, and in this case, flying off the map. Also, remember that two hammers are better than one.

 Two Spartans hitting a Warthod on the side, hammering out the details

TIP #3 – USE THE MAP AGAINST THEM

Rat’s Nest is one big corridor. So when you’re driving a Warthog down these hallways, obstacles can seriously slow your pace. And we know how important speed is in this gametype. When setting up an ambush, it’s a good idea to hide behind the barriers. Not only does it stop a Warthog, it can cause it to flip with the aid of your Hammer if you hit it with the hog is stopped or as it’s approaching.

In another scenario, maybe your enemy hit a barrier and is now a sitting duck. Don’t run towards it immediately because their Gunner will probably kill you. Instead, find cover and toss ‘nades. By this time, the Warthog should be coming to you. NOW you can use your Hammer.

In the event that they fall/fly out of their Warthog, whip your Needler out and shoot them as they disorientedly rush towards you. Disorientedly.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

First off, the Lost Live event from last night was a great experience. I believe it was the closest we’ll come to one last comic-con panel we’ll get regarding Lost; with surprise appearances by Jorge Garcia, and Michael Emerson, to fan questions answered (or not answered) by Damon and Carlton, to a clip from the finale ending the night.

Having stayed spoiler-free these past three seasons, knowing what I know now about the finale doesn’t ruin the experience at all. Still, not even Ralph from the Dharmalars podcast wanted to know what was shared last night. And with that, I choose to not include spoilers in today’s theories.

So I have a couple of theories. One is regarding how the show will end and the other is a Smoke Monster theory.

Smoke Monster Theory

We all know that Jacob was involved in the creation of the Smoke Monster. Though it appears as if his brother lives on through a form of black smoke, his body is lifeless. I believe the Smoke is a manifestation of Jacob’s fear of losing everything on the island. Because he already lost his Mother, I believe Jacob created Smokie. Over time, the manifestation became as real as it could get and it lead to his own demise. Why do I think this? 

In the first season, Walt had his Walt-centric episode, entitled Special. In  this episode, Walt was able to summon his own monster through fear. After reading one of Hurley’s comics which had a polar bear in it, Walt goes with Micheal to start building the raft. Walt feels punished for having to stick around with Michael, who at that point he barely knew, and became angry at him for ordering him around.

When Walt tried to visit with Locke to get away, Michael proceeded to yell at John and Walt, which in turn lead to Walt taking off with Vincent. Later, in the jungle, Walt encounters his manifestation of the polar bear he saw in Hurley’s comic. By the time Michael and Locke showed up, the polar bear was as real as it could get. Just as Locke and Micheal were there to rescue Locke, Desmond must encounter the Smoke Monster “to make it all go away, brotha.”

How I Believe the Show Will End

Jacob asked Jack to do what he couldn’t do: Protect the Island. NotLocke wants the island to be destroyed and according to the first episode of the season, it would appear he had his wish. Now, further into the Flash-Sideways, we learn that this is a result of the detonation of the Hydrogen Bomb. As the camera combed the ocean floor, we saw New Otherton as well as the Four-toed Statue. The Hydrogen Bomb simply prevented our candidates from coming to the island.

According to Widmore, Jacob said Desmond was to be used as a fail safe to the grand plan. Smoke Monster on the other hand, sees Desmond as a helping force. I believe Jack will see that the only way of protecting the island is to sink it to the bottom of the ocean so that no one can ever find it, thus protecting the source of light forever. This will be done with the help of Desmond, and they will both sacrifice themselves in order to protect the island.

The Lost finale is this Sunday, May 23rd 2010. It will begin at 7PM PST with a 2-hour recap of the series, followed by the two and a half hour series finale at 9PM PST.

-jake108

This was it. This was the last regular episode of Lost. “What They Died For” seemed to set up the final two and a half hours of the show, which isn’t a bad thing. And NotLocke’s endgame was revealed as well. His goal? Destroy the island.

Ben

Was anyone else put off by Ben’s evil deeds? I for one thought he was past all of that when he decided to stay with Ilana earlier this season. Nevertheless, Ben was always one to seek revenge, and revenge is exactly he got.

As Desmond roams around Los Angeles looking for the key Island players, he finally caught up with Ben. Beating him up was really the only way to get him to remember his other self. Let’s not forget that this was the first “glimpse” into the island timeline that wasn’t on the island.

Desmond

If there’s one thing about Desmond that never fails, it’s that he always has a plan. In case you missed it, Desmond’s goal is to have all of the Key Island players at the concert being performed at Pierre Chang’s museum, excluding Ana Lucia.

This list of attendees are as follows:

Desmond –  His job is to make sure Charlie shows up for the concert so he can perform.

Charlie – Performs

Claire – To see David play

Kate – Showing up for Desmond.

Sayid- Showing up for Desmond.

Hurley – Showing up for Desmond.

Jack – To see David play.

David – Daddy issues.

Miles – Shows up to show support for his Dad.

Charlotte – Works at the museum.

Daniel Faraday (Widmore) – Wants to play alongside Charlie Pace.

Penny (Widmore) – Asked by Desmond.

Charles Widmore – His concert.

Eloise Hawking (Widmore) – To be terrifying.

Locke

Once again, we have the Man of Science and the Man of Faith. It seems as if Locke is getting his sense of destiny back. Their conversation should have sounded a little familiar:

• “Do not mistake coincidence for fate.” – Eko to Locke (“What Kate Did“)
• “Don’t mistake coincidence for fate.” – Locke to Desmond (“The Cost of Living“)

Souce

Jacob

In his pre-teen, Peter Pan form, Jacob asked Hurley for the ashes. When Hurley approaches him in his adult form, he tells him that when the fire goes out, he’ll never see him again. Was throwing his ashes into the fire a way of getting around the punishment of being stuck on the island even after death?

Now that we are upon the Series Finale, one might be able to predict the possible outcomes… or not. After all, this IS Lost. Below are the obvious outcomes:

– NotLocke succeeds, everyone dies and he gets off the island to wreak havoc on humanity.

– Together, Jack and Desmond fight NotLocke in a battle that ends up with Desmond sacrificing himself.

– Jack tosses himself into the light for a 1 on 1 Smoke Monster battle.

As for the fans of Theory of the Week, I’m saving this theory for this Friday. Keep your eyes peeled!

*Cliffhanger, Quick Cut… LOST*

-Jake108

After two weeks of playing the Beta, it has become easy to distinguish Halo: Reach from Halo 3. The gameplay is completely different and there are many additional things to watch out for now that there are new armor abilities available via loadouts. It’s quite literally a different game. Literally. Here are some of the ways to use your favorite armor ability… and other ways that you shouldn’t.

ARMOR LOCK

Armor lock brings a variety of perks: Invincibility, badassery and buying time for your teammates when playing Team Slayer. Remember, always be prepared to take an enemy out as their Armor Lock runs out. 

Different players have different strategies, some not as good as others, so here’s how to use armor lock correctly.

WHEN TO USE IT

• Guarding a Flag.
• When a Rocket/Grenade/Plasma Launcher plasma is coming at you hard.
• When getting shot at and there’s nothing else you can do.
• When someone tries to stick you and succeeds.

WHEN NOT TO USE IT

• When enemies can just wait till you’re done.
• Trying to be a hero.
• In the middle of a huge fight. It most likely means you’ll get caught up in the crossfire when you wake up. Cross fire. CROSSFIIIIIIRE (Yeah! Yeah!)

While being a hero is fine and all, Armor Lock is more effective when you’re working with your team. Being the sole survivor of a huge fire fight doesn’t mean the three leftover dudes from other teams are doomed. Such an incident may occur when you need to block a door to prevent a flag being captured, or are holding a specific area until back up arrives.

CAMO

Again, this armor ability is used best when it’s used in the best interests of the team you’re playing for (unless you’re lonewolfing it, in which case the best use is just to do it whenever you’re approaching a newb or directionless loser). For instance, when playing Invasion, you may just want to hangout near the staircases, or a dark corner, while flipping your camo on and off, like that guy on the news. This will scramble any Spartan or Elite’s motion tracker nearby, allowing your teammates to walk into the enemy base.

If you’re a Spartan and happen to run across someone doing this, it’s best to wait it out.

WHEN TO USE IT

• In dark areas.
• Behind cover.
• To provide cover for your teammates (in secret).
• When hunting someone in close quarters in a pinch (or a skewer).
• When you’re having a bad skin/hair day.

WHEN NOT TO USE IT

• It may seem like the perfect armor ability to go off and fight alone with, but the truth is, no matter how good you are, you will be found out if there are no nearby teammates to distract enemies.

SPRINT

Sprint allows you to travel a good distance in a short amount of time.

WHEN TO USE IT

• If you need to get somewhere fast, take a route that won’t get you seen. Remember, just because you’re running fast doesn’t mean you’re impossible, or even difficult, to hit.
• Jumping after a good sprint will get you those extra feet and make seemingly impossible jumps suddenly possible.
• Get the HELL out of the crossfire, you’ll get caught up in it… you’ll… no, we won’t do that again.

WHEN NOT TO USE IT

• Sprinting should be used to get to cover rather than running across the battlefield. No one likes a dead teammate.
• Also, if you’re sprinting off by yourself, you may end up alone, with the Boyz In Da Hood, so watch WHERE you’re running. A lot of people see speed as safety. It’s not. It might just be you getting to your sure and sudden death quicker.

“Uh… hey, guys…”

Evade   

Evasion is a great tactic to use both indoors and out. And you know you like to hear ’em growl.

WHEN TO USE IT

• The best times to use Evade takes place outdoors and in one-on-one battles. Outside, you won’t be confined to roll as much. Outside, you can also avoid enemy fire while moving in closer for a kill.
• If you’re the melee’ing type, this is probably your favorite armor ability. It basically turns you into a real ninja, so that the little badge you get makes sense. Your maneuvering skills go off the charts and you’re able to roll circles around people in close quarters, evade their shots, and confuse the hell out of any newbies.

WHEN NOT TO USE IT

• Small rooms, of course.
• Whenever you feel like looking “cool”.
• If that’s just “how you roll”.

JETPACKS

A means for travel, a means of killing… a Jetpack can be your greatest ally… or the means of watching your body fall hundreds of feet to the ground to its sudden, unexpected and 8-10 second penaltied death.

WHEN NOT TO USE THEM

• Well, the only time when it’s pointless to use them is when you’re already too late. Remember that the Jetpack takes a little bit of time to work at full power. If that grenade is already at your feet, you’re already dead. Should’ve used the shield.
• When there are at least two other guys in Jet packs in the air with you.
• When you’re getting out of a fight where people are obviously all shooting at you. You don’t become invisible, you actually just become slower and higher, and therefore easier to shoot. Spartans aren’t blind after 10 feet of elevation and neither are Elites.
• When they are low on charge. Nothing’s more embarrassing than trying to get somewhere you can’t and being killed because of it. Remember to basically act and play like you did in Halo 3. Use your abilities only when needed like the Rocketeer would. If you use any of these abilities as a crutch, you’re doing it wrong. Use them when you can and don’t rely on them, but use them as a bonus.
• When someone else with a Jetpack is right behind you. Nothing is more embarrassing (or freaking AWESOME) than an air assassination.

WHEN TO USE THEM

• At the beginning of the game, when plenty of ground matches are being started.
• When nobody is around, to get closer to the action and then throw grenades at it.
• When everybody is shooting each other and not you, and you’re low on health.
• When at a high elevation that you feel you can cover some extra ground because of, as that will allow you to get closer to the action faster and in a way that allows you get the UPPER hand. UPPER hand. See what we… no? Okay.
• When evading someone with a shotgun or gravity hammer. 
• When you’re in a ground fight with someone that doesn’t have a shotgun and they are reloading. Shooting them (and finishing them off) from the air will disorient them JUST enough so that you can ensure a kill.
• When you’re losing and completely bored and just want to remember what it was like to first buy an XBox360 and be playing games like Armored Core.

Things to Remember:

• These new abilities are a privilege, not a necessity. Use them as such.
• Make sure you always shave and wash your nether-regions before a first date. Nobody likes a pessimist.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

One could say last night’s episode of Lost brought things in full circle. I think this to be true, not because of the season 1 scene at the end, but because of a few references to Locke’s life on the island, before he died.

Jacob and Baby in Black

When “mother” first met the boys, did she know who they were immediately? Or did she just see a couple of babies she could mold into what she wanted. She claims she always wanted Jacob to be the one to protect the island, so why give Man in Black immortality too?

Backgammon

We know what the two boys were playing, and we know it’s supposed to symbolize good vs. evil. Let’s take this back to season one, specifically Claire’s dream. In her dream, Locke has one completely black eye pupil and the other completely white. Let’s not forget Locke loved to play Backgammon on the beach.

The Source

This light is said to be inside everyone. Could it also be a source of electromagnetism? Bringing it back to early Locke, in season 3, Locke and Eko had a conversation about the smoke monster. Since both survived their encounters, Locke explains he saw a “beautiful bright light.”

Wine

The wine bottle surely wasn’t full. Was this a hint at past protectors of the island? Also, it seems whenever someone is given an important job on the island, (Jacob and Richard,) they must drink the wine. Since the Man in Black broke the wine vase, does this mean there can be no other protector? Or does Jacob’s touch do the trick?

Man in Black’s death and the Smoke Monster

When Jacob tossed him into the light, was it the Man in Black’s soul transformed into the black smoke? After all, his body is lifeless, and he can be considered dead. This leads to the answer as to why NotLocke didn’t die when Sayid stabbed him where “mother” was stabbed.

Interesting how in the episode titled “Dead is Dead,” is the same episode in which Ben summons the Smoke Monster to kill the Freighter Fighters.

THEORY OF THE WEEK!

Since Desmond is “special,” and the rules don’t apply to him, I believe he will be able to harness the electromagnetism that is also known as “the source,” to defeat the smoke monster once and for all.

Want to add more? Leave a comment!

As you know, the Invasion gametype is now out. By now, you’ve played as Elites and Spartans, and you’ve got the gist of armor abilities. Today, I’m going to review the new additions to Reach’s armory so you can kick some ass.

THIS WEEK: New WEAPONZZZZ

Plasma Repeater

This one’s pretty basic. As you may or may not know, the Plasma Repeater predates the Plasma Rifle we all grew to use in Halos 1, 2 and 3. The trick to using this weapon is to fire it in bursts. Much like the Assault Rifles in the past Halos, as well as Reach, this weapon becomes less accurate the longer it fires. The other downside is the fact that it overheats. Hold X to prevent the Plasma Repeater from overheating.

Needle Rifle

Arguably better than the DMR, the Needle Rifle rewards players for both headshots and bodyshots, but at a greater price. While it does take a Needle Rifle longer to take someone down, its needles can come in handy when an enemy’s shield is down. An unprotected enemy is an explosive enemy.

Grenade Launcher

This new baby can be thought of as the Human Brute Shot. While it’s damage is much more powerful, the Grenade Launcher’s ‘nades tend to bounce. Keep this in mind as you bounce ‘nades off the ground, off the wall, or off your teammates candy asses. Also, keep the explosive radius in mind as you fire.

DMR

Precursor to the Battle Rifle, the DMR should be primarily used by the more accurate of players. Five well-placed headshots will drop a bitch. Keep in mind that the DMR is best used for headshots. Anything else and you might as well use a Needle Rifle.

Plasma Launcher

This bad boy has the capability to fire off up to four explosive balls of plasma into your enemy’s face. To work it, you have to charge it by holding the R Trigger. When you see all four balls in the corners of your corsshair, you’re ready to fire. You can fire one or two if you charge then release. Also, you must lock onto someone, or something in order for it to be fully effective. Keep in mind you can’t walk around with a fully charged Plasma Launcher. This weapon WILL fire by itself if the R Trigger is held too long.

Focus Rifle

Aside from being a pain in the ass if the enemy team has it, the Focus Rifle is a valuable tool of destruction in Reach. With a 2x zoom and a penetrating beam, the Focus Rifle can take out Jetpackers like nobody’s business. When not looking to the skies, a teammate can easily provide covering fire from a high altitude.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, videos, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

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Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

I thought last night’s episode was great. No complaints here. There’s not a lot that comes to my head that isn’t already obvious. I’ll fill up this post with significant things you should know, as well as theories.

As a side note, if you haven’t read about Lost’s recent finale time-extension, here’s the news: it’s airing for two and a HALF hours now. It will air Sunday from 9:00 – 11:30, with a retrospective of what’s happened from 7:00 to 9:00.

Jack

Last night we found out that Jack is THEE candidate, and after 13 episodes, Jack finally cries. Even though he is Jacob’s replacement, I don’t think he can kill NotLocke himself. After all, before there was none of him left, Sayid told Jack “it’s going to be you.” How would Sayid know this? The only answer I can think of is that maybe Desmond told him.

Locke

Desmond may have very well run Locke over with his car to help him remember the island. If that’s the case, it seems to be working. As you may or may not remember, Locke told Jack, “Push the Button. I wish you would have believed me.” Back in season 2, no one opposed the Button as much as Jack did. This lead to:

Locke: “Why do you find it so hard to believe?”

Jack: “Why do you find it so easy?”

Locke: “It’s never been easy, Jack.”

NotLocke

He sure was mad when nothing happened after the sub sank. My questions is, how did he know it sank? Can he see other parts of the island? Or was something supposed to happen? It’s clear now that ALL of the candidates, or maybe just Jacob’s replacement, need to be dead before he can leave the island. Once he’s done with them, he plans to fly off the island with the Ajira plane. This is possible due to Locke having taken flying lessons. Take THAT, “convenient plot device” naysayers!

THEORY OF THE WEEK!

Desmond will kill NotLocke. Jack can’t kill him and NotLocke can’t kill Jack. It’s up to Desmond, who the rules don’t apply to, to end the battle between good and evil. But can a good exist without evil? “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.” -Jacob

Today’s Monday! I’m sure you all know what THAT means. Either you’ve been playing the beta, or you’re downloading it right now. Either way, there’s no way to be sure if you’re top-dog or not. Do not fret, my pretties, Teabag Prevention is here with your first dose of tips for Halo: Reach.

TIP #1 – What You Need to Know

First off, the control scheme has been revamped. I’m sure some of you have noticed already, but if you haven’t, you can find the new schemes over at giantbomb.com.

Having been an avid Halo player for years, I adjusted my sensitivity to “1” as soon as I jumped in. This, however, did not work. I found the sensitivity has either been slightly tweaked, or maybe I just needed to evolve due to the increased action taking place everywhere. A word of advice to you 1’s out there, be mindful of those who Jetpack everywhere they go. Sometimes 1 isn’t fast enough.

Assassinations: The animations are awesome, but sometimes you just need to get things done. Tap RB to perform a regular ‘ol assassination. HOLD RB to perform an assassination with an animation. Keep in mind, while the animation is going, you may be killed before you vanquish your enemy, thus failing. Epicly. That’s right, “epicly”.

TIP #2 – Armor Abilities

Ah, Jetpacks. By now, I HOPE you’ve noticed the addition of armor abilities. It’s important to note that ALL Armor Abilities will recharge. You’ll have the option of picking which Armor Ability to have before the game and after deaths. This is possible in all matches except SWAT and Covy Slayer (Two classes are available in Covy Slayer. Weapons are the only difference.) In the beta, you’ll be introduced to:

Armor Lock (Spartans Only)

Need to be invincible? Need to hold a position that can’t be lost to the enemy? Do you want to slam your fist on the ground like a badass? Then this Armor Ability is for you! Hold LB and watch yourself take them bullets. Keep in mind, you can’t move while using it.

Camo (Spartans Only)

Camo makes it’s return for Reach. When activated, the enemy motion tracker, including you own, WILL be jammed. One tap of the LB, and you’ll be walking around with a shimmer to your body, that is, if you’re walking.  If you’re not walking, you can make your enemies feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger.  

Jetpacks (Spartans Only, though how fucking awesome would it be for an Elite to have a Jetpack. I mean, Brutes have them, WHY CAN’T ELITES?!)

Aside from flying being AWESOME, Jetpacks can get you out of sticky situations, achieve new heights (both emotionally and physically), and avoid fall-damage. Hold LB for this one and listen to your jets go WOOOOOOOOSH!

Sprint (Spartans Only)

Nothing feels better than sprinting toward an enemy only to smack them in the face. That being said, hold LB for this ability.

Evade (Elites only)

While similar to a Spartan’s Sprint, Elites have the ability to perform an evasive maneuver. Use this carefully and you’ll get the upper hand on the battlefield. Only two evades are possible before recharge. Tab LB once while moving in the direction you want to go in. 

TIP #3 – The New Health System

If you’ve read past Teabag Articles before, then you know all about this change. If not, here it is in all its recycled glory:

“In previous titles, when you were laying into a shielded opponent and bringing them right to the brink of shieldlessness, any damage you did before the pop would transfer into their underlying health. Hypothetically, let’s say they had 5 points of shield left when you clocked them for 10 points of damage. The result would be the loss of their shields and a 5 point reduction to their heath.

Now those additional 5 points are absorbed by the shields as they wink out of existence and the underlying health is left unscathed.”

Note that this doesn’t mean Sniper Rifles, Rockets, and Shotguns won’t be one-hit kills, so in all honesty, this is fine by me and only means we need to be more precise and that grenades with spray-and-pray won’t do as well.

They’re forcing us to grow, you guys. They’re forcing us to grow. We love you, Bungie.

For more info on the beta, check out our first article on Reach, as well as Bungie.net!

A special thank you goes to Andyb0y over at Handheldheroes.net

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

It late 2007, when I decided that I wanted to get more involved with my favorite podcast, Editor-in-Chief Jonathan London was looking for a staff of writers to fill in some spots for his much anticipated Geekscape.net. Having had experience in writing for the school newspaper, I sent in an article containing my review of Halo 3.

Much to my surprise, Jonathan decided to give me a shot. It was at that time that I started talking to our volunteer features editor Brian Gilmore, the man behind the screen of the weekly show. We shot some ideas around, which included game reviews, movie reviews, or even comic-book reviews but nothing was really sticking. If I was going to see myself writing a lot, I needed to find a subject I was really passionate about. Funny then, that we were shooting these ideas around while I was busy kicking his ass back and forth across the map in Halo 3. I mean really kicking his ass across the map. It was sad even. I started feeling bad for the guy and questioned whether or not his thumbs were properly working. My moment of quiet reflection gave way to an obvious revelation: people like Gilmore needed me! I would do a weekly tip guide on Halo 3!

And so I did. Rain, sleet, snow and shine, I got to writing the regular Teabag Prevention (luckily… there’s not a whole lot of rain, sleet or snow in Southern California… or inside of my gaming room). And to my amazement, Teabag Prevention started to pick up some regular readers! As the article gained popularity, we moved from Halo 3, to Gears of War 2, back to Halo 3, to ODST, and then finally back to Halo 3 every time the fine folks at Bungie released another map. Today, on our two year anniversary, Halo: Reach is fast approaching and will be the start of our third year. So here’s to us… and to all of you for your loyal reading. Whether you’ve been with us 3 minutes or 3 years, thank you for being a great fanbase and we look forward to teaching more people like Gilmore which end is the business end of an assault rifle.

Below, I have a few of my favorite screenshots from some past articles. Feel free to take a stroll down memory lane.

Nobody rides for free…

“This Summer… Chuck Norris IS… Master Chief”

“Get your ass to Maaaars!”

Someone’s about to learn why you don’t pick up hitch-hikers…

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

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Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

A major question was answered last night with the reveal of who “on-island Christian Sheppard” really was. This must mean NotLocke has also taken the form of Yemi, Kate’s Horse, and so on. Overall, I enjoyed last night’s episode.

Desmond’s Intent

Was Desmond looking out for Aaron? Or was he trying to reunite Jack and Claire the whole time? Was it both?

Juliet

Obviously Sawyer and Kate aren’t supposed to be together, or they would’ve had one of those “moments” when Sawyer arrested her. So where’s Juliet?! My guess is she’s going to deliver Aaron.

Sun

I believe it’s possible that when Sun bumped her head on the branch, which caused her to temporarily lose the ability to speak English, flash-sideways Sun caught a glimpse of what on-island Sun was feeling and seeing. This would explain her reaction to seeing John in the stretcher scene above.

Desmond, Sayid, and Claire

Of course we know Desmond isn’t dead. The question is: Where is he at now? Also, by talking to Desmond, I think it’s safe to say we have the old Sayid back. And by talking to Kate, I think it’s safe to say that we have the old Claire back too. But is anything safe on this island?!?

Widmore

The exciting conclusion between the two old men (NotLocke and Widmore) is drawing near, and Jonathan couldn’t be happier (Editor’s note: ugh… really? THIS is what it comes down to? The Bucket List 2?!?). I’d say Widmore is going to use the candidates as bait. Not exactly what Sawyer had in mind when helping Widmore, but we all know Sawyer wouldn’t want to be bait.

Theory of the Week!

Jack is ultimately Jacob’s replacement. He made the point that NotLocke is afraid of what they might become. So by taking Jack and the rest of the potential candidates off the island, there will be no one to stop him, ever.

As always, I hope some of you comment below to keep the discussion going. Remember, everything I say doesn’t have to be right, so if you want to point anything out, have another theory, or anything else, feel free to comment below or email me at jake108@geekscape.net

-jake108

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you haven’t heard yet, there will be a one-week hiatus. During that week, ABC will be rerunning the episode Ab Aterno. The repeat episode will be airing April 27, 2010, two weeks from now. You have been warned.

Whispers

The whispers in the jungle have been around since season one. Last night, we got the answer to what they are exactly. The whispers are coming from those who died on the island and not free to “move on” because of what they did on the island. The obvious example is Micheal. In season two, Micheal killed Ana Lucia and Libby. While he said he killed them to save his son, Ben expressed that he did not tell Micheal to kill either of them and that it was Micheal’s own freewill that lead to their deaths. Therefore, we are lead to believe that evil-doers are bound by the island.

This brings me to Ana Lucia, Eko, and Charlie. Like Micheal, these three Losties have visited Hurley after their death, only it was off-island. Still, when they did visit Hurley, it was solely because of island business, except for Eko, he just wanted to play some chess. Does this mean that they are also bound by the island? I mean, Ana Lucia and Eko ARE murderers, both off-island and on. Are they former evil-doers trying to help those who are still alive on the island? Also, why is it that Hurley can see Jacob if he is supposed to be the good guy? What did Jacob do to cause him not to be able to move on?

Below, are two crucial whisper scenes:

“Meet Kevin Johnson”

On the freighter, Michael hears whispers and then sees Libby just before he is about to detonate the bomb. Libby tells Michael ‘don’t do it’ and then vanishes. On the ABC Lost website, this scene is shown in the Lost: Revelations 408 clip. In this clip, the whispers are incoherent. However, in the actual aired episode, the whispers begin with the Mama Cass song that played on the car radio when Michael tried to kill himself the first time.

“Outlaws”

Chasing a boar, Sawyer was about to give up and return to camp when he heard the whispers. The whispers concluded with the phrase “It’ll come back around.” The phrase was Frank Duckett’s last words after Sawyer shot him.

Source: Lostpedia

Since Micheal saw Libby just as Hurley would see anyone else who is dead, does this mean everyone posseses the ability to talk to those who have died on the island? The same goes for Sawyer. How can the voice of the man he killed be a whisperer on the island? Or are the whispers in this case just a ploy by the smoke monster to try and manipulate both Sawyer and Micheal?

I also recommend checking out the Whisper Transcripts over at Lostpedia. Just don’t read them before you go to sleep…

BOOOOOOOM

Totally didn’t see that coming. *Drinking game*

Connect 4

In season two, Hurley’s flashback episode involves the mental institute we saw last night, only in the season two flashback, we had a character named Leonard Simms. Simms would play Connect 4 while muttering the numbers we’ve grown to love and fear. In this flash-sideways, Leonard was not playing his game, so it’s best to conclude that since the island never happened, Leonard never heard the numbers and therefore went crazy.

THEORY OF THE WEEK

1. At the end of the episode, Desmond hit John Locke with his car in the flash-sideways. This was after NotLocke threw him down the well in an attempt to kill him. I believe both Flash-Sideways Desmond and On-Island Desmond share one conciseness. On-island, NotLocke asked Desmond if he knew who he was. Desmond responded with “John Locke.” After he was thrown down a well by who believed was Locke, Desmond assumed Locke in the flash-sideways would have it out for him too, and thus decided to hit him with his car.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me and jake108@geekscape.net or leave a comment below!

Today (Thursday April 15th, 2010) marks the last day of Halo 2’s Xbox Live service. I can only hope you’ve accumulated as many memories as much as I have these past six years. Before we say goodbye, I only ask one thing of y’all: get some buddies together and make some memories with these five things.

5 – TANK FLIPS!!!

It was always enjoyable to see a Scorpion flying through the air, rotating clockwise and counter clockwise. Coagulation is the best map to do this, though it’s possible on just about every other map. Make sure you take turns, boys ‘n girls.

Here’s a couple of vids to get you started:

4 – HIDE AND SEEK ON BACKWASH

The most forgotten map of Halo 2. As a single tear falls down my cheek, I still remember the day it was taken out of matchmaking. I was always a big fan of the dark and misty aspect of the map. Because of this, no other map comes close to being a perfect Hide ‘n Seek map. Be sure to check out the gargoyles too!

If you’re unfamilar with Hide ‘n Seek, start a custom game of Juggernaut. Make everyone except the Juggernaut either invisible or just a dark color. Give the Juggernaut an overshield and a sword. Disable respawn and add a timer and you’re set! Honorable mentions include Lockout, Foundation, and Warlock.

3 – SUPER JUMPS

No one likes a super-jumper in matchmaking, but it can bring a new feeling of fun. Make sure to bring a Sniper Rifle so you can enjoy the view!

2 – O PIONEERS!

A long and treacherous journey for some, quick step process for others. Though, no other map brings people together while getting out of it than Gemini. Everything from butterflying to skill jumping is needed on this one.

1 – ZOMBIES

No other map does it better than Foundation. So get some buds together for some last minute custom games and be sure to try all of these out!

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

If you have any other ideas of what to do in these final hours, leave us a comment below and share the love and the wealth with all of us, who are slowly dying, only to Phoenix it up in Reach.

And here you have it, boys ‘n girls, the final Halo 3 map tips article. As you may or may not know, we’ve done just about everything that is Halo 3, even ODST. To check out our past articles, you can find them all here. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy these past couple of years. That’s right. Teabag Prevention’s second birthday is on the horizon and we’re not stoppin’ here. You will hear our condolences regarding Halo 2’s servers shutting down and we will walk you through Reach’s Beta and, once it’s out, how to seriously pwn your little sister at Reach. Now that things are all clear, let’s get. IT. ON.

THIS WEEK: LONGSHORE

TIP #1 – BOYS TRY TO TOUCH MY JUNK, JUNK

Since this is a fairly large map, I’ve outlined just about everything you either need or to watch out for.

Bubble Shield

Regenerator

Power Drainer

Gravity Lift and Overshield

Active Camo and Shotgun

Sniper Rifle

Battle Rifle

Sword

Rockets

TIP #2 – ROCKETS

It may be instinct, it may be your greedy personality, but either way, it’s a must to rush Rockets at the start of the map. When doing so, make sure to bring someone along with you. They should be able to watch your back for you in case there’s an ambush of any kind. If there isn’t an ambush, well, he could be an extra ‘nade spammer.

When you do have Rockets, use them properly and sparingly. This means don’t go hitting walls or trying to kill someone from afar. In other words, try to fire them into groups of enemies, or just ones you’re pissed at.

TIP #2 – CAMO, BITCHES!

There’s going to be a lot of people gunning for the Active Camo. This is a fairly large map, so a Camo can be very useful. Just don’t waste it by rushing out into the middle of the fight. You should know better. We all should by now. Please make it so that goes without saying. I’m talking to YOU, people I played matchmaking with last.

Pay attention to your motion tracker and you’ll surely be able to catch one fool (that a certain member of the A-Team would pity) making a run for the base. So when you DO have Camo, make sure you take advantage of your left analog stick.

TIP #3 – SNIPAS

It is imperative that your team place a sniper on top of the tower. Sure, it’s a cliche enough spot to put one, and some people will be looking for the sniper there, but as long as your sniper is good and moves around a lot, the enemy team won’t be able to guess where he’ll be peaking out from next.

Just remember that certain bridges can become elongated, thus providing enemies to get the drop on you.

And how do you elongate this bridge you ask?

TIP #4 – STAY TOGETHER, DAMMIT

On larger scaled maps, it’s a basic necessity to stay with the pack. Like what was said in the previous article, there are some who venture off and be successful, but that person may not be you.

Also, never go off alone with a power weapon. Not sure what a power weapon is? Well, a Rocket Launcher is one. If anything, the person holding Rockets should be proving support and scaring the other team by brandishing the weapon at them. So please, don’t go off alone.

Nice Rockets!… SNIPED!

Fear not! Teabag Prevention is far from being done. Halo: Reach will soon be here, and with that, Brian Gilmore and Jake108 will jump at the chance of being your main source of tips on Reach’s new weapons, maps, vehicles, and much more! So stick around, play Halo 3, and be ready to teabag with Teabag Prevention on a weekly basis and know we’ll be here for you come May 3rd! Keep those crotches on those visors.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

And a special thanks to Louis Wu over at HBO for featuring us from the start.

Sorry for the delay, everyone. We had some minor site issues. All is well now, so enjoy!

If anything should be addressed first, it should be the Casimir Effect. Now, I know all of you out there are quantum theory experts, but I’m going to go over it anyway. The Casimir Effect can be best described as a force that is a physical force arising from a quantized field. What does this have to do with Lost?

Let me present to you the Orchid Station Orientation Video. From this video, which was shown back in July ’07, we can infer that this bunny can either time travel and/or move itself in between what’s supposed to happen and what’s not supposed to happen. An extreme amount of energy is required for this to happen. This energy is found under the Orchid. The official Orchid Orientation video that Locke saw can be found here. Notice that it is forbidden for metallic objects to enter the chamber. This was also the case in the room Desmond was put into last night on the island as well as the MRI scanning procedure that caused him to have his lucid visions. Keep in mind, we’re dealing with the same type of energy that was able to move the island at the turn of a donkey wheel.

Now, there are rules. Not anyone can just move around. As we saw at the beginning of the episode, if the rules apply to you, you’ll fry. Let’s take a step back to season five. When Daniel Faraday and friends were jumping through time, Daniel needed to make contact with his constant, Desmond. During their exchange, Faraday said, “You’re the only person who can help us because, Desmond, the rules, the rules don’t apply to you. You’re special. You’re uniquely and miraculously special.” It was at this point that Desmond’s past changed and he woke up to what Penny thought was a nightmare. In fact, this memory was created for Desmond, three years after leaving the island.

Now then, let’s get to the actual episode recap, shall we?

Charlie

I found it interesting that Desmond first encountered Charlie outside Widmore’s office in the U.K. Even then, Widmore’s name made it’s debut in Charlies flashback episode, “Fire + Water.”

As for the significance of his hand, this marks the second time since his death where his hand is placed to show something written on it.

4×01

MacCutcheon

Macutcheon made its first appearance back in season 3, “Flashes Before Your Eyes.” In this episode, Charles Widmore basically told Desmond that a sip of this liquor would be worth more than Desmond ever would amount to be.

Macutcheon is also seen in Anthony Cooper’s (Locke’s dad) stash and with Jack’s mom in the flashsideways.

Eloise

There’s more questions than explanations here. My question is how did Eloise know who Desmond was looking for? If Desmond is supposed to be the only special one, how is it that Eloise seems to have knowledge of everything?! Also, she talks as if Desmond himself is bound by rules that he must follow, yet, other than fainting, there were no consequences?

THEORY OF THE WEEK

Desmond will make the ultimate sacrifice in destroying the smoke monster as well as the island.

That’s it for this week, folks. Feel free to leave some comments below or email me at geekscapejake@yahoo.com

Last Friday, Bungie put out new details regarding Halo: Reach. Having played Halo for over eight years, I’ve covered what I feel are the most important changes to the game we all know and love.

Elites

The first thing that should be pointed out are the changes with the Elite player model. As you may or may not know, the Elites, who fight for the Covenant, rival Spartans in the field of battle. In Halo 2 and 3, Elites made their debut in the multiplayer as playable characters. In those two games, they could do everything a Spartan could do and had identical hit-boxes as well as the whole health/shield system. The only thing Elites had the one-up on was the fact that they could growl, and I mean really, we’ve all tried growling like that at some point in our lives.

Since then, our friends have been forced to hunch their backs and bend their legs so that their size wouldn’t interfere with the fairness of battle in multiplayer matches. All of that is about to change.

Starting next month, gamers will get to experience the new and improved Elite. Bungie promises to have this version of the Elite move faster, stand taller, and have better shield technology than the spartan. Still, it’s unclear if these new Elites will be available in all gametypes or not.

Health and Shield System

The health and shield type system will undergo a change as well. Bungie states:

“In previous titles, when you were laying into a shielded opponent and bringing them right to the brink of shieldlessness, any damage you did before the pop would transfer into their underlying health. Hypothetically, let’s say they had 5 points of shield left when you clocked them for 10 points of damage. The result would be the loss of their shields and a 5 point reduction to their heath.

Now those additional 5 points are absorbed by the shields as they wink out of existence and the underlying health is left unscathed.”

Note that this doesn’t mean Sniper Rifles, Rockets, and Shotguns won’t be one-hit kills, so in all honesty, this is fine by me and only means we need to be more precise and that grenades with spray-and-pray won’t do as well.

Loadouts

Those familiar with the Call of Duty games know all about loadouts. So, does this mean Halo is copying the CoD games? Not at all. Loadouts will not be customizable, but instead will be displayed in a set of loadouts determined on both the gametype and map. If anything, this is more like Star Wars: Battlefront.

Power-ups and Equipment

The Active Camo will also be different come May 3rd. To put it simply, if you were to stand still while being invisible, your camo will both last longer and be more effective as opposed to moving around at quick speeds. The faster you move, the less effective it will become.

The Armor Lock is a new to Halo. Its purpose is to provide the user with invulnerability.  Now before you go off saying this will ruin the game, be sure to know that once you activate it, whether it be for one second or ten, your spartan will be in a kneeling down stance kind of stance well, you can look at the pic below. So what does this mean? You won’t be able to move for the duration of your not-dying phase, which might kill a lot of people’s game; but nobody likes people during their invincible phase anyway.

As you can tell, this feature is going to work out great when trying to return a flag, capture a territory, or as you saw in the multiplayer beta, destroying a vehicle that’s trying to splatter you.

Take Evasive Action!!!

Let’s flashback to 2002 when you found out you couldn’t roll as an evasive maneuver like all the bots did in Timesplitters 2.  How angry were you? I know I was. Luckily, we’ll all get to take evasive action on May 3rd. By rolling, you’ll be able to shake off locks and anything tracking you. Now, the fact that rolling isn’t capped for every few number of seconds worries me. I would hate to see every Halo game start off with players rolling forward. We already have a game for that and last time I checked there were no loopdeloops in Halo. Also, we already saw Critters.

ZOMG, TEH HALO 1 PISTOL IS BACK!!1!1

Not exactly. Though Bungie explains that the Magnum will take someone out almost twice as fast as the new DMR, expect the Magnum to fly all over the place the faster you shoot it. That’s right, RECOIL, BITCHES.

This has been a Special Teabag Prevention Announcement. For more stuff regarding Halo: Reach, go ahead and check out their weekly update.

Love,

Jake108

So here’s the deal, everyone, despite its size, there are a lot of weapons and equipment to look out for on this map. Bear with me on the first tip, it’s pretty large, but it covers the main tools you’ll need for you and your teammates to dominate Citadel. No penis jokes on that last sentence, by the way.

THIS WEEK: CITADEL

TIP #1 – WEAPONZZ AND EQUIPMENT

Battle Rifle & Carbine

Brute Shot

Overshield

Rockets

Sniper Rifle

Shotgun

Power Drainer

Bubble Shield

TIP #2 – YOUUUUUU’LL GET CAUGHT UP IN THAAA!

Yes, we all know this map is small, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to try to sneak around the other team’s spawn point to score extra kills. In fact, you’re already dead.

Granted, there are some cases of stealth skills in players that rival Sam Fisher and Solid Snake, but for the most part, and for your safety, stay with the team. Unless you’re confident enough to do this (in which case you’ll most likely still die).

TIP #3 – TEAM PLAYERS FTW!

Reasons to stick with the team on this one:

1. Covering Fire

      2.  Ambushes

      3. Taking out enemies, one by one. Choke points, bitches.

      4. Looking like a bad-ass in front of them.

TIP #4 – OVERSHIELDS

When deciding who gets the O.V., be sure it’s someone who has decent skills. Let me tell you, I can’t stand it when a poor player rushes to get the Overshield only to get beat down repeatedly until he or she dies. So please, have your best player pick it up before it’s too late.

Bottom line? Help the weapons help you.

Things to Remember:

• Weapons exist for a reason, your spawn weapons aren’t always your best friends.
• Wash your face before a date and always check the sides of your mouth.
• Make sure you’re doing at least two crunches a day. Gaming is hard.
• Never run into the middle of a battle, people stay behind cover for a reason.
• Don’t give a “Rusher” the Overshield. It’s a waste. You know who you are, Rushers.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

Screenshots taken by:

DarknessOrchid

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

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Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

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As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.

Not much this week, but you’ll want to see what caught my attention (other than Sun’s rack).

Sun and Jin

With what we were shown last night, it seems that the marriage between Sun and Jin is directly tied to the existence of the island. With no island in the flash-sideways, there’s no marriage and with no marriage, there seems to be no baby (anymore).

Sayid

Sayid is beginning to lose his humanity, something that apparently NotLocke still has. Sayid is beginning to be a really important figure on the side that’s not Jacob’s. NotLocke sent him on his secret mission, told him to look after the camp, and woke Sayid up first among the knocked out people. Why put Sayid in second in command if he’s losing his marbles? Maybe NotLock knows something we don’t (about Sayid).

Desmond

Obviously, it wasn’t Desmond’s idea to go back to the island.

We know that Widmore is interested in the electromagnetism aspect of the island. The only correlation Desmond has with electromagnetism on the island is the button he pressed every 108 minutes in the Swan station.

THEORIES OF THE WEEK

#1 – Sun isn’t a candidate and Jin isn’t a candidate. Their baby is.

At their wedding, Jacob touched both of them knowing that Sun would conceive on island despite Jin’s infertility issue. In the flash-sideways, their baby will die before it’s born because there is no island for her to protect, and probably because Sun got shot in the stomach.

#2 – Sayid will become the next Smoke Monster.

If Jacob must have a replacement, why shouldn’t the Man in Black have one? With Sayid losing touch of all his emotions, could it be that he’s on his way to becoming the most powerful (and ruthless) Smoke Monster the island has ever seen?! Or is he just becoming a soulless pawn?

If you have any comments, theories, or suggestions, feel free to comment below!

Thank you for reading,

-jake108

So here it is, the rest of the Mythic Map pack. I know, I know, it’s late, but it’s better than never. I must say, it feels good to be back to regular ol’ Halo 3, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and side… and like popping a few caps. Here’s how to do that well on…

THIS WEEK – HERETIC

TIP #1 – WEAPONZ AND EQUIPMENT

Bubble Shield

Battle Rifle

Carbine

SMG

Note: On the opposite side of the map spawns the Brute Spiker.

Shotgun

Sword

Plasma Rifle

TIP #2 – IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A THING GO RIIIIIIIGHT

Breaking up into teams of two isn’t difficult or stupid, and no matter what your little brother says, it doesn’t make you a “pussy”. In fact, you can easily confuse opponents or even better: set up traps. This means stay close, but not too close. If you’re fighting side by side with each other, you might as well walk in a straight line toward gunfire. Instead, attack enemies from two fronts, as pictured below: 

And never, ever go out alone. You’ll be a free kill.

TIP #3 – IT’S OKAY TO HIDE

Really, on this map, it’s okay to take a step behind a wall. Use your motion tracker to its fullest extent, and you’ll be able to set up and ambush on the fly.

Speaking of ambushes, a good ambush takes place from behind. (See?! We have class, we didn’t even BEGIN to touch that one!)

TIP #4 – SMG’s R GUD

In the standard AR start and Pistol secondary matches, duel-wielding can be a major asset:

By duel-wielding a Pistol and a Plasma Rifle, you’re able to knock the enemy’s shield down and provide an unprotected face for you to put a bullet through. Medium-range maps like this are won by who gets in the first shots. Make sure you make them count.

If you’re more of the “sprayer” type (we told you, holding back, classy), you may find an SMG + Plasma Rifle combo to be awesome.

Things to Remember

• Shoot first, like in that Star Wars movie the kids keep talking about.
• Use your motion tracker, it will save your life. No, seriously, stop effing around and use it.
• Hiding while crouching never hurt anyone, but camping has.
• Find your passport the night BEFORE going on a trip this Spring Break. Trust me.
• Medium range weapons are king on this map if you don’t know it too well.

Teabag Prevention Written by:

Jake108

Edited by:

Brian Gilmore 

Screenshots taken by:

DarknessOrchid

For any comments, suggestions, or inquiries please email us at:

TeabagPrevention@gmail.com

Show your Support!

Follow us on Twitter!

Join our Facebook Group!

Or more importantly, become a Fan!

And don’t forget to add us on myspace at:

www.myspace.com/teabag_prevention

Tell your friends about us!

As always, special thanks to Louis Wu and HBO.