Author: GeekscapeStaff

We got the entire Avatar: The Last Airbender series for a wedding present and we watched it all last year.  I bought the Nation symbols soap from Geeky Clean (they don’t have them anymore, but their other stuff is pretty nifty too http://www.geekyclean.com)  for my husband’s birthday, which was awesome, but then we used the soap up, so I had nothing to proclaim our airbender love in the house. So I decided it was time to paint some symbols. For those of you who didn’t spend hours on end in the art room in high school, don’t worry, I shall show you crafty trickery.

Do a search for the airbender symbols, print one out to fit your canvas size. Scribble some charcoal on the back of the printout, then flip it over onto the canvas and trace over the lines with a pencil. The pressure of the pencil will transpose the charcoal onto the canvas and you can go from there. I only did this one on the fire nation symbol, which gave it a nice ember touch, but you obviously wouldn’t want to get too much on say the air symbol or it’ll smear all up in your paint.

I used acrylic on canvas, simply because that’s what I had at hand and what I paint with most.  The only downside with acrylic is it dries fast, but you can get a nice layered effect going if you keep on edging the colored acrylic with white, then going back and touching up the color. To give a little more depth I mixed whatever paint I was using with copious amounts of white and applied it as a background wash.

In just a few short hours you’ll have a homemade decor to show your fandom of the best.cartoon.series.ever. (Well, since X-Men and Batman: The Animated Series and Animaniacs, those were pretty awesome too.)

If there is one debate raging around the Geekscape offices lately, it’s “How awesome is Breaking In?” We can’t get enough of it around these parts, ever since we caught up with the cast at Wonder Con. Right now you can even catch up on all the fun on Hulu before this weeks, comic-con/Goonies 2 episode. Yes, Goonies 2. We sat in on a group interview with the writer Adam Goldberg (Fanboys) and the actor who portrays Chase, the hilarious Alphonso McAuley.

Us:   Well, I have a question for both of you, but I’ll – I guess we’ll start with one. For Alphonso, what do you like best about playing Cash, and how much like your character are you?

Alphonso McAuley:    Let’s see. I like that Cash is quirky and he’s a nerd, and also he’s a Fanboy. Those three things are pretty cool because they’re different from other characters that I’ve played before. And so I kind of – I get to have fun with that you know.

    And I would say probably about – yes, somewhat like Cash because I have a few figurines, a few comic books, things like that.

Adam Goldberg:    Go on. Tell them about your Legos. Tell them about your Star Wars Legos. Tell the right now.

Alphonso McAuley:    I do have some Star Wars Legos, and used to have some Superman briefs. Those were pretty cool, but they just – those got worn out, and I don’t know. I’m looking for some new – I got to get some like Chewbacca briefs or something. Or like – or maybe like a Han Solo – like an ascot or something like that. That’d be nice.

Us:    Hi, guys. Thanks again for talking to us this morning. I’m kind of curious about why the – so the Comic-Con theme, the episode that we’re talking about, I’m kind of curious as to why you chose to make it about a Goonies sequel? Like is there some sort of attachment to Goonies for you guys? Or you know what sort of the (impetus to) that was.

Adam Goldberg:    Well, that’s strictly me. I know when Peter Jackson was doing King Kong, he said like that’s the reason he became a director. For me, Goonies is the reason I became a writer. You know, that was the movie from my childhood I saw a trillion times, know every line.

    And when we were doing this episode, which is about you know a movie being stolen. It was roughly based when – off of when Wolverine got stolen and went online. We thought, piracy was a cool kind of thing for the group to take on.

    The studios were really hesitant. We tried to get Green Lantern and a bunch of movies coming out. But I think understandably, the subject matter of a moving being stolen and going on line was a little iffy for them. So I thought well, what’s the one movie that I feel like should be made and it’s not in current active development? And that was Goonies 2 for me. So it really became a way for me to have Goonies kind of play out to the group as this whole adventure happens for them.

    So it worked out so well and I got to keep a lot of the Goonies props and signs. They’re all over my office right now, which is sweet.

Alphonso McAuley:    Right. Right. And me, I’m just from the Goon Docks, so they were like, “Hey, Alphonso, get in there.”

Us:    Alphonso, I really love your character Cash. And also I got to say Adam, I am a huge fan of Fanboys. And as a geek writing for GeekTyrant, I kind of have to be though. I also want say Cash – Chewbacca impression – impersonation, fabulous. Excellent job on the first episode.

Alphonso McAuley:    Thank you.

Us:    You get to wear a lot of cool outfits Alphonso. I really like some of the – you wore a Star Trek uniform. Star Wars. I think that was a Han Solo outfit. What are some of the outfits – some of your favorite outfits so far? Are – is there anything really cool that you’re excited about being able to wear in some of your future episodes?

Adam Goldberg:    Alphonso, give them a spoiler from the finale. Spoiler from the finale.

Alphonso McAuley:    Okay. A spoiler from the finale. Spoiler alert! I actually get to wear a full Voltron suit, which is like the…

Adam Goldberg:    It’s so amazing.

Alphonso McAuley:    I literally get…

Adam Goldberg:    It is unbelievable.

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    I wrote for the Voltron TV show, so I know the whole gang over that’s doing the new Nickelodeon show. And first, I wanted it to be an Optimus Prime, and it cost – it was like they wanted $30 grand or something, so I called my Voltron buddies and they were like – they immediately FedExed out this giant like suit. I don’t even know how you were able to walk around Alphonso. It’s so ridiculous. But it’s just unbelievable. So, I’m really excited about that one.

Alphonso McAuley:    Oh, yes. Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes.

    For all those Voltron fans out there, and everyone else is going to go, “What? What’s Voltron?” So – but they made me happy.

Us:    Adam, there have been a number of series where maybe in one episode the cast has been required to do something like break through a security system to prove a point, but it’s never been done as a series, as far as I can recollect, let alone a workplace comedy. How did you come to choose this idea as the one you wanted to go with? And how did that draw in the cast that you have? It’s a wonderful cast.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. The cast is amazing. I mean for me, I wanted to do a workplace comedy. Happy Madison and I were going to do a show together, and I met up with the Director, Seth Gordon, who did the King of Kong, which is one of my – literally one of my favorite movies ever. And he just knew about this world.

    He’s really into doing documentaries on quirky kind of offbeat people, and he got to know a lot of these hackers who specialize in Internet – in cyber security, Internet security. So, we just got talking about – and these are kind of the people that I know in terms of you know geeks and it’s a culture that I love that I’ve written about in movies. And I am one, so it just seemed like a great match.

    So for us, we pitch it to Fox as like the A-Team meets The Office. It’s just a group of oddballs. You could have the fun office story mixed in with a caper and just have a really fun fast half an hour of television. It just seemed like something that really hadn’t been done.

    And you know its big challenge every week to mix an office story with a caper. But yes – but you know, that’s how it kind of came about. Just meeting Seth and him introducing me to this world, and me kind of taking the people that I know and kind of putting – setting up the characters.

    And then of course, the cast. You know, Alphonso bringing – you know, the cast – just we got really lucky that everyone really pops and every character feels distinct and different, and their voices are really specific. So it’s – I got really lucky that way.

Us:    I do have to say that last night’s episode I was howling at some of your inside jokes, first with Leeroy Jenkins when he came running in with (unintelligible), I completely lost it. My wife had no idea why I was laughing.

    And the little tribute to Robin Hood with Christian with the bow and arrow.

Adam Goldberg:    Totally.

Us:    Totally. And Gordon Shumway, who was Alf.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. Yes.

Us:    So yes, my wife thinks I’m crazy for laughing at nothing.

    But my thought is – so now we know why you choose Goonies. Now is there any specific reason why you chose Comic-Con besides it being you know, geek Mecca?

Adam Goldberg:    I mean, for me – it’s funny. I’ve been going to the San Diego convention for man, 15 years, and just watched it go from a thing where my friends would make fun of me for going to now having them go with me and having to show them around and stuff. So it – I just love that it’s become very mainstream. I mean, I prefer some of the smaller conventions personally, because I get to shop more.

    And I love that -, even though this wasn’t specifically the San Diego Comic-Con, that’s kind of what we wanted to do. Just – it’s just big and fun, and kind of – like you said, the Mecca for movies and now TV. It just seemed like a great way to do caper and kind of explore all the things that I love.

    We – just the episode is packed with you know Avatar, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; just all that stuff is really fun. I think for Fox, I think they were surprised at the tonnage of just how much stuff was in there, and I don’t know that they understood all of it. I don’t know that they get the Sloth or the Truffle Shuffle references. But you know all I can do is what I think is funny. What I want to – what I believe in – will work on TV, and just hope that there’s someone out there that will respond to it.

    If not, like you said, it’s just me and my wife laughing at it at the very least. And getting Alphonso in ridiculous costumes is always fun.

    Alphonso, tell them about who you play – your character in Comic-Con.

Alphonso McAuley:    Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Comic-Con people are going to get a kick out of this. He’s a super hero of comics that Cash has made up himself, and his name is Black Zeus. And I…

Adam Goldberg:    He’s a rapper by day, super hero by night.

Alphonso McAuley:    Super hero by night. And I’m sure people will be quoting me on the theme song. “Black Zeus”.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. We love it. I love that Cash is self-publishing his own super hero comic, and that’s why he goes to Comic-Con to try and set it up somewhere. Find someone to publish it.

Alphonso McAuley:    Exactly. He’s looking for a deal. He’s looking for a record deal. Or some (MC) display. He’s looking for that.

Us: I love the Goonies reference, as somebody who grew up in Oregon during the time of Goonies.

Adam Goldberg:    How nice. Nice. Yes, so that’s awesome.

Us:    I’ve driven by the Goon Docks probably more times than I’d probably like to admit.

Adam Goldberg:    That’s awesome. They had like a 25th Anniversary reunion there.

Us:    That was last year. Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    Last year. And I was like…

Us:    And it was huge.

Adam Goldberg:    I’d just had a kid. I was begging my wife to go. She was like, “You’re not leaving me for a Goonies convention. There’s no way.”

Us:    You could actually walk up to the house. They allow you to.

Adam Goldberg:    Wow. That’s awesome. That is awesome.

Us:    You can’t drive up there, but you can walk up to the house. They absolutely allow you to.

Adam Goldberg:    Well, that house is still there because it was going to be knocked down for a golf course, but of course it’s – they – with the jewels at the end they saved the house, so it just makes sense that it would still be there.

Us:    Yes. The locals have a lot of fun with it.

Adam Goldberg:    That’s awesome.

Us:    My question is do you have plans to take the cast to Comic-Con this year?

Adam Goldberg:    Oh, I – I mean, we went to WonderCon, and that was so amazing, especially watching – Christian had never been to any convention. And an unknown fact about him is he is as big as a Trekker there is. I mean, he’s a huge Trek fan. He loves – I mean, he’s the one who put in all the Highlander references in the second episode. He loves Sci-Fi. He loves fantasy.

    So, he had never been to the – to any convention, and he literally was texting me like, “I just got a picture with a Gorn!” And he was just thrilled and he’s walk up to these actors with booths and pay money to like – he’d pay $20.00 to get a picture, – they were like, “I can’t believe Christian Slater is paying me money to take a picture with me.” So that was…

Us:    I think we all have that closet nerd.

Adam Goldberg:    I think so. I mean, I think everyone has their thing from childhood that they love, or that movie or show now that they love. You know whether – it’s just what intensity do you kind of put that out there. I mean, Christian was the one that got the – that was his Captain Kirk chair that he had in his house that he made all these calls around town to get legal clearance for it, because he wanted Oz to be like a Captain Kirk.

    So yes. That was just a blast to walk around the floor with Alphonso. Had you ever been to a convention Alphonso?

Alphonso McAuley:    Actually, no. That was my first time as well. And I think the amazing element to it was that so many people wore – whatever costume it was that they had one, they wore it with great conviction. So they were like – they said, “No. I am the Dark Knight.” Or, “I am the Joker, (unintelligible).” You know, and I’m like, “What?”

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. Yes. Totally.

    So as far as going to San Diego, I would love that. I’m there every year as a fan, so it would be really cool to watch all the actors up on a panel talk about the show. That would kind of be a dream for me. So I hope that they pick up the show. That we can go.

Alphonso McAuley:    Exactly.

Us:    You have a lot of geeky references in the show from Cash, and the previously mentioned, the Leeroy Jenkins in last night’s episode. How obscure and how crazy are you guys going with some of these references? Because Leeroy Jenkins is pretty out there when it comes to obscure geek references. And what can we expect coming (unintelligible)?

Adam Goldberg:    I mean for me, nothing beats Community. No one can compete. So I – they get as obscure – I think they just did a Pulp Fiction wrapped in a My Dinner with Andre. I think…

Us:    Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    …that’s as obscure as you can get, and I thought it was genius.

    So for me, I mean we are on right now after American Idol. I wanted to make it a little bit more accessible. We’re doing a Tron thing. We’re doing Star Wars. The – you know, I’m trying to fill the show with these Internet memes especially on Alphonso’s t-shirts. So that’s the more obscure thing for me.

    As far as movies and TV, I want that to be a little bit more recognizable and mainstream. But for me, it’s the – what you’re talking about the Leeroy Jenkins, these Internet memes that I’m obsessed with that I probably spend way too much time online looking at and laughing at.

    We did a Hedo Rick, that’s the ripping and the tearing guy. I don’t know if you know that one. I don’t think anyone but a small group will appreciate that. But you know, that’s – I like those shout outs and I love when I watch Community and I’m like, “Oh. I’m in on the joke,” and that’s really fun.

    So, I’m trying to do that. Whether or not people know or respond – if you do, that just – I feel like that’s a cool club you could be in with these – especially with the Internet memes.

    But as far as the movies and the TV, I want to make it a little bit more accessible right now for the first six, and maybe next season we’ll get a – we’ll do a Solarbabies. I like solar – so there’s some obscure stuff we can get into. Sure.

    Right now I’m trying to keep it a little bit…

Alphonso McAuley:    And I want to play Jabba.

Adam Goldberg:    You want to play Jabba next year?

Alphonso McAuley:    I might play Jabba next year.

Adam Goldberg:    All right. Done. Done.

Us:    In the season premier, we saw Alphonso stalking William Shatner. Is he going to stalk anyone at Comic-Con?

Adam Goldberg:    I mean right now, I think – well, the episode now is about how the Comic-Con job causes a falling out between Cameron and Cash. So he’s – you know, so that’s really the thrust of the episode.

    I kind of – it’s funny. In our first draft, we had a whole runner where he was stalking Gil Gerard. And Gil Gerard was ultimately his alibi when Cash was accused of stealing the movie. So that kind of unfortunately fell out. I really wanted to focus on the character story and not make it about Gil Gerard as much.

    So – it’s so funny that you asked that question because I was defiantly there in many drafts, but ultimately kind of opted for having it be a little bit more about the character and not so much about having him stalk a Sci-Fi guy. I just wanted to meet Gil Gerard. That’s what it was.

    Do you remember Alphonso the line or something like you were harassing Gil Gerard because it’s supposed to – Buck Rogers was supposed to take place in the future, but he had ‘70’s sideburns, and that’s what you were like…

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    You remember that? You were chasing him and asking why? Why?

Alphonso McAuley:    I remember that. And there was another reference – I thought Christian came in with some reference that was in there dude, that was so hilarious.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. Yes. And then Gil Gerard gave Cash an autograph that said, “Go away. Gil Gerard.” That’s what the head shot said.

Us:    And that is on the Big Bang Theory, they have a physicist on staff that helps make sure that show is in line with all sort of – the physics and the science, and all that stuff. Are you guys using anyone? Obviously, you’re probably all familiar with — Adam especially — of technology and staying relevant with that. But are – do you have anyone on staff that helps guide your stuff to make sure it’s actually legit?

Adam Goldberg:    We do. We have a guy named (Eric Cabadus) who’s a – he’s a hacker basically. And he contacted us because he saw the pilot and he was like, “I just want it to feel real. And in the same way that you’re doing shout outs to the Goonies fans and people who know the Internet memes, like I want to give shout outs to my friends who have program.” So he basically reads every episode.

    And it’s so funny. He’s amazing. Sometimes – you know, we just don’t have time to – it always ends up I’m going to hack the firewall. That’s like the big joke. And you know, we want it – but if you want to make it sound real, it ends up taking about 45 minutes to explain. So, we really want to put forth that effort. I think we meet somewhere in the happy middle.

    But especially all of the programs that they run, those are real hacking programs. Some of them are his friend’s programs that they’ve made. So it’s – yes. We defiantly – in the same way that Big Bang wants to keep – I know on their boards it’s all real, so we wanted to do the same thing.

    And we’ve had to change some stories because he’s like, “There’s no way you – they could do this thing. What you’re talking about just doesn’t exist in reality and we want it to seem real.” So we’ve had to – it makes the stories harder to break because it’s harder to outline just because sometimes it – you want it to feel easy but that’s not how it exists in reality.

    So hopefully, it should feel a little bit more real than the average show, because we do have our guy. Our super hacker.

Alphonso McAuley:    Exactly.

Us:    Yes. It’s (chiefly) you guys are getting some respectable ratings, and (there) seem to be (riding). Are you comfortable with where you’re standing right now?

Adam Goldberg:    I mean, yes. You know, you – it’s such a crazy time because they – you know, you read all the pilots they’re doing and they sound so cool. And I know they have with Zoey Deschanel I’m excited to see. So I know – it’s like we’re doing solid. We’re doing well. We are – we’ve leveled off at a number that all of us on the – the writers and producers are really happy with. And we just hope that Fox is creatively happy with the show when it comes time to pick new one.

    Am I ever going to feel – that’s the thing about having your own TV show. It’s – what I’ve discovered is every week you’re opening a movie. It’s like every Wednesday night I’m on – I’m just so stressed out. And in the morning, you just – you wake up at 6:00 and you just wait. So am I ever going to feel totally comfortable? No, because any week you could go up. Any week you can go down.

    But right now, we’re very hopeful.

Us:    Don’t get me wrong. I’m going to make all my friends watch next week.

Adam Goldberg:    Oh, thank you. Sweet.

Alphonso McAuley:    Nice.

Adam Goldberg:    Appreciate that.

Us:    You said the two magic words. Gil Gerard and Goonies.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes.

Us:    I was just watching Buck Rogers the other night.

Adam Goldberg:    So that’s awesome. That’s awesome. I love that.

Us:    Now Alphonso you have a lot of great lines in – so far in the series. And you’re delivering them perfect.

Alphonso McAuley:    Thank you.

Us:    Is there any of them that you’ve ad-libbed, or do you stick close to the script? Are there any good ones you’ve tried to – like insert in there that didn’t get in?

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes, as Adam laughs.

Adam Goldberg:    I’m laughing. I’ll answer for him. Yes, he ad-libs like crazy, and yes we use it. I mean, man; everything – especially Rosenbaum – actually everybody has their ad-libs. And you know on this show, I’ve told them if – I’m not down on stage all the time, so I said if you guys come up with something really funny, email it to me and we’ll put it in the show.

    So yes, Alphonso is an amazing improviser and we are using a lot. And as the writers, we’re all taking credit for the funny stuff that he says, and the other actors. So it’s awesome.

    But – I mean, “You’re tapping the grave dance,”  I guess that was something you did with your friends or something? What was that story?

Alphonso McAuley:    That actually came out of – I was doing this film for – some of the geeks who know about Fat Albert and all of that. We were – so we were doing Fat Albert and that thing just came out of this – we were talking about R&B singers and how they moved their pelvis toward the audience, you know while they’re singing.

    And so it just came out of like this – like R&B like movement that I kind of like did. And then we kind of evolved it into like this entire thing on the set. And we would just always do it like – sort of like really, really fast and it just – it grew out of that.

    Guys like (unintelligible), Marques Houston, Kenan Thompson; we were just all doing that move like throughout the film.

Adam Goldberg:    That’s awesome. Did they even call and say, “Hey. You did the dance from Fat Albert.”

Alphonso McAuley:    No. No. I don’t even know if they know I’m on a show.

Adam Goldberg:    That’s fair. That’s fair.

Us:    I’m curious. Do you guys have Twitter? Are you using that kind of social medium to get your cast and your – you know, the show out? (Unintelligible).

((Crosstalk))

Adam Goldberg:    Cash – Alphonso, have you checked out your Cash Twitter Alphonso?

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes. I saw the Cash Twitter. I cut all my stuff out, but I’m going to put it back out. I’m going to put it back out.

Adam Goldberg:    I know we got – we’re using – we – me and the writers have three characters we’re doing Tweets from. Dutch, Cash, and Creep Carol. So – and every night when the show is airing, I just – I love following what people are saying, the good and the bad. And it’s really helpful to see what jokes people are responding to and what stuff people aren’t. So then, you can – when you’re thinking of new shows, you go, “Oh. You know, people didn’t really like this about that character.”

    So, I appreciate the honesty. And I think when people Tweet, they don’t realize that like the creators are really – or the writers and producers are really following what people are saying. So it’s so helpful that way.

    And especially like people quoting – just throwing out lines that they like. You know sometimes, it’s a line that – it’s an improve from an actor or it’s a line we were going to cut and we just decided to leave in, and that’s the line everyone locks onto. So it’s been really fun to see , to use Twitter as a way to just see what people are saying about the show. And then – of course Facebook. Everyone’s sick of my posts about the show.

Us:    So you don’t have your own?

Adam Goldberg:    I have my own Twitter account that I just set up, but I’ve been so – I’ve been focusing on the character ones. Just for me, that’s been more fun that just me posting saying, “Hey. Watch the show.” I like you know, what’s Dutch’s thing of the day? What’s Cash’s geeky thing he’s going to throw out there?

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes. I took all that stuff down because I was dating a Facebook detective, and she was like, “Who is this?” So, yes.

Us:    Since you mentioned Creepy Carol, are we going to get to see Jennifer Irwin do anything really, really creepy in the next few episodes?

Adam Goldberg:    I mean, it’s so funny because Jen – I worked on a sitcom called Still Standing with her for four years, and she’s a very close friend. And I wrote the character for her because I think she’s so funny. And the creepiest stuff we’ve written for some reason, like it doesn’t make it in because I want to – I want people to learn to love her first before we get totally creepy.

    So for the first six, it’s the weird stuff like her eating the banana like a corn on the cob. I think that was my favorite thing. In last night’s episode, I loved how she peed herself, because Alf scares her.

     I think second season she’s going to get creepier and creepier for sure. Right now, I don’t want alienate too many people.

Alphonso McAuley:    Yet. Well the creepy thing when she was like – when she got camera ready with the lipstick, that was (unintelligible)…

((Crosstalk))
Us:    Oh, okay.

Adam Goldberg:    Right. That was amazing.

    And watching you guys make out for that Star Wars thing was so funny, and there’s so much of it. Like, it just – in the editing, it started out, it was like a 20 minute make-out scene, and then we just kind of whittled it away until you know – so you guys were good sports on that.

Us:    I’m curious. I know you’re a new show and you’re just kind of getting started, but is there a series that you would like to crossover with? Whether it’s with – on the same network or not?

Adam Goldberg:    Wow. That’s a great question. Alphonso? What do you think? What are you thinking?

Alphonso McAuley:    Hum?

Adam Goldberg:    For me it’d be Big Bang Theory. I mean – I – that’s my other – besides Community, that’s my other favorite show, and I just love all the characters on that show. And I think – I’d love to stack up you know, our geniuses verse their geniuses. I’m sure they’d crush us in a genius-off.

Alphonso McAuley:    Yes.

Adam Goldberg:    But – yes. I love that show.

Alphonso McAuley:    We should maybe colab with Glee and do like a Breaking In on Ice or something.

Adam Goldberg:    Yes. Breaking in – a Breaking In/Glee would be amazing. That would be amazing.

Us:    Hi. Yes. That – what would – I noticed a lot of the cast interplay is so great, especially between Cash and Oz. It seems like they’re very like-minded individuals in terms of their geekiness. Talk about that interplay between the two, because they seem to fit more together than Oz with any of the rest of the cast. They seem more comfortable.

Adam Goldberg:    That’s interesting. Alphonso, what do you think it is? What do you think about Cash’s relationship with Oz?

Alphonso McAuley:    Well, I think that – I mean, he is – we don’t know the history of how long he’s been at Contra Security. But, Cash seems to be sort of like an Oz. Like he – Oz could be like his albino father or something (unintelligible).

    No. But I think that – you know, he has sort of an affinity to (geekdom), if you will, that Oz has as well, and so that’s probably like something else that kind of works and helped him get the job at Contra Security. So yes, I could see some similarities there. If that answers the question.

Adam Goldberg:    Thanks for the great questions guys. I liked the crossover question. I want to do a Fringe too. A crossover of Fringe.

Alphonso McAuley:    All right. Thanks guys.

 

Additional reporting from Matt Kelly

You know when you walk into your friend’s mom’s house and there will be a generic quote about children’s laughter or somesuch features prominently in the hallway, or perhaps something about “the footsteps of friends” on a plaque by the doorbell? Well, for my first craft blog on Geekscape I decided to do a geeky version of that. Because while children’s laughter is great and all I need something a little more personal to decorate my walls. And I had just the quote for it.

I first ran across the quote from Tolkien when I was writing my wedding invitations a while back.  I thought a nice quote about love from one of my favorite authors would do the trick. “Ok!” I said with excitement as I typed “Ray Bradbury love quote” into Google. Then I thought about that creepy Ray Bradbury story where a honeymoon couple goes to Mexico and visit a catacomb and it drives the woman literally insane. I erased it before searching. “Tolkien should be safe…” I thought hesitantly as I hit enter on a new search.  Well, I found a quote by Tolkien that had the word “love” in it, but not in the romantic sense.

“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for it’s swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”

“Ahh, I thought, “that’s a nice quote…that has nothing to do with marriage.”  I abandoned my hopes of finding a good wedding invitation quote, but I tucked those sentences away for later, knowing I’d find a use for them somewhere.

A few months went by and my husband and I were putting his sword collection up on the wall of our new home.  There was a perfect space for a canvas below the morning star and one of the more dangerous looking of knives, and I knew I’d finally found a use for that quote.

The question was how.  I hate painting words with a fiery passion, and my inking hand isn’t the steadiest for such large work, especially on a canvas. After some pondering I opted for iron-on transfers.  You know, the kind you use to make T-shirts. I made some rookie mistakes, so I was glad I had bought boxes of them on sale ten years ago. (Hoarding art supplies ftw!)

I had totally printed the entire quote out on several sheets of paper before I went “oh, wait, that’s going to be backwards.” Then I had to figure out how to reverse the text in Microsoft Word (there’s no easy way, technically you can turn it into an image and reverse the image, but because of the nature of my particular text it wouldn’t work), instead I opted to copy paste into paint and reverse the image from there. (Print preview is also your friend. I kept on forgetting to turn the image into landscape, I really shouldn’t do art projects when I’m hungry.)

After the printing was all settled I got my iron out at went to it. The first attempt was…less the stellar. The key to iron-on transfers is cutting enough excess of blank excess away so that it doesn’t leave strips of noticeable residue behind when you peel off the paper. Also, totally not supposed to use steam, or it leaves the cracks in the ink. And you have to be careful not leave the iron in one place too long or it will burn the canvas, leaving a yellowed tinge.

When I had laid out everything I was doing it late at night and was being rather careless, I totally mixed up part of the saying, and one of the words moved when I ironed it leaving an inky unreadable smear across the canvas. “It’s cool” I said, after a lot of “frakidity frak fraks” “I’ll just fix it with some paint.”  Then the iron touched the line above it as I was trying to get the bottom line done.  I had, in my impatience, removed the paper for the line above but needed to keep the iron on the bottom line longer. At that point I decided to call it a night and be thankful I had another canvas to work with.

After a day or two I worked on my second draft, while not perfect, was good enough to hang on my wall. I cut much closer to the letters this time, was careful with how long I spent with each line with the iron.  I laid each piece out so I could get an idea of where I wanted it to lay, then lined them up in order right next to the canvas, only putting them on when I was ready to iron and leaving the paper on all of the pieces until they had cooled.

As a result I had a much cleaner time about things and, though the “glory” and “defend” are a little cockeyed, and there’s no period at the end of the last sentence, I’m totally OK with it.  The first “I” did not have all of its ink transfer, so I touched it up with a wee bit of sharpie.

Here’s the end result, I think it suits our sword wall quite nicely, and I recommend this craft for anyone that has a favorite quote (geeky or otherwise) they’d like to hang on a wall.  It’s easy (if you’re not being impatient), super cheap, and a fast way to put a personal touch in your home.

Not only was Wondercon fun on an epic scale, it was also very busy. We’ve got your behind the scenes pics of all the Geekscape teams activities. From Interviews, to people stopping by the booth, to unexpected team candids, here’s our Wondercon experience. Pictures by Stephen Prescott, Brian Walton, and Ryan Reiter.

“Picture her as a blonde.” “Oh Shit!” Phrases most often heard while Brea and Zane signed at the booth.

“I’m laughing at you, Tim. I’m laughing at you.”

The entire Geekscape team got accepted in SHIELD. I wonder how this will affect Heidi’s standing in Hydra?

Heidi and Brian on the Emerald Knights press line

This was the last we saw of Ryan Reiter

Jonathan signing SAM prints

Yes, Gilmore was there. Why? We’re not sure yet.

Zane is the contemplative one, while Brea is saucy.

“What was it like creating my childhood?” Heidi asks of Bruce Timm

“So… Do you, like, have a girlfriend?”

Geoff Johns is so dreamy.

“I’m Geoff Johns and you’re watching Geekscape!”

Not even kidding, he totally said that.

In addition to her two friends, Linda Le brought 46 enlarged boners to the booth. They followed her from the lobby.

Kevin Rubio swings by to sign autographs of the book our writer panned. That’s what we call a “Class Act.”

Paul Bettany, one time Tyrese co-star, on the Priest press line. He never makes it to us.

Lilly Collins, Phil’s daughter, after being announced as the new Snow White. Looks a bit constipated for Snow White, yeah?

Someone asked for his best Dicaprio in Inception impression.

His eyes are fucking dreamy.

Let’s talk about me…

Contemplative and holding back a groin punch.

This is actually the guy in the hat’s booth. Christian Slater caused a stir when he wanted to meet the classic Trek actor.

SAM and the armed forces, a match made in Jonathan’s head.

Nerdgasm!

Stephen nailed his Who interviews.

“No seriously, he’s like this tall. Goes by the name Gilmore. You haven’t seen him?”

When Walton met Christian…

Bret was halfway between amused and tolerant

Aww. And the award for most adorable Geekscapist goes to…

 

 

“The Giraffe will have its neck broken in twelve different places unless you comply to the following assignment. Instructions to follow. Do not fail us. We will be watching.”

These few sterile monotone words coming from the automated AI that has developed from within the Geekscape.net website, put me on edge for the rest of the day. The emailed instructions revealed my charge, and did little to relieve my apprehension. I was to cover a press junket for the upcoming release of Jackass 3.5 on Friday, March 25th, which might not seem like such an ordeal, but it meant I had to drive into the cold black heart of darkness that is . . . Beverly Hills.

Sometimes I hate having a history with this city; knowing that around certain parts of town, you’re simply not wanted. Not because of mere social standing or class, but because of reprisals for long ago actions of the rebellious youth that I can hardly acknowledge as my former self, before the facial reconstructive surgery. Knowing that if I step into the wrong boutiques or gallery in the richest part of southern California, I’ll once again be subjected to the horrors of their back rooms, but this time I’ll be the one on the receiving end of – but I cannot reveal too much, lest my original identity become apparent.

Hence I had willfully forgotten exactly how to reach the Four Seasons of Beverly Hills, where I was expected to watch the upcoming show, to be aired online at the Joost.com internet television site on April 1st, before the interview session. But then disaster struck, in the fate of Google Maps.

 

 I have an enemy and it has a name.

Addresses were input, and directions were given. Terrible, terrible directions that put me in the heart of a traffic snarl on the wrong side of Doheny Drive. It was like Google had read my email, which it did as it’s a Gmail account, and knew that the fate of an innocent even-toed ungulate mammal was on the line. It just didn’t care.

Curse you Google Maps! If Jemmy were to die, I hope you’re forced to eat a bag of hard-boiled dicks! Eventually I made it to the hotel, disregarding the terrible directions and relying on my army training, as well as a handy Thomas Guide. Never drive around L.A. without one dear reader.

The Four Seasons of Beverly Hills is an interesting place. On the one hand, it’s a beautiful building surrounded by lavish plant life, impeccable architecture, and a professional and polite staff who won’t turn their noses down on you, even if you’re an obviously poor writer sporting a 1996 Honda Civic and five o’clock shadow. On the other hand, there are some really creepy life-size statues adorning their drive-up. Some are amusing, like a rather standard Marilyn Monroe keeping her skirt from blowing up, or Vincent Van Gogh painting (from the angle he’s placed, apparently it’s an image of Marilyn’s ass).

But there’s also a creepy older couple reading a newspaper on a park bench. Out of the corner of your eye, it seems at first as the most natural thing in the world. Then you remember that print is dead and take a second look, only to realize they aren’t moving. If you step forward for further inspection, the knowledge hits you with the force of a rocket shot up your ass: these aren’t celebrities worthy of sculptural adornment, these are the former guests who . . . displeased the hotel. The unspoken threat noted, I hurried in, apologies at the ready and confusion at hand.

 

File Photo reveals neither sinister statuary nor luxurious accommodations.

After bursting into the beautifully decorated Weatherly room unannounced and rushed, I at first thought myself in the wrong place – stars from the upcoming film remake of Arthur were discussing things with other reporters! Had I missed it? Was I too late? Could I stand yet another death of a zoo animal on my conscience?

Before I could react though, and try to make a pithy joke that would excuse my presence in front of several surprised and horrified social betters, I was ushered out by one of the white blood cells of the Hollywood world – an attractive female publicist. I was obviously stymied, so I was handed off to another publicist in a more auxiliary role. Events were explained. Fears both confirmed and put on hold. I had missed the screening but not the celebrity interview as other junkets, such as the one I had barged into, were going long. This is an unforeseen outcome, neither total failure nor success. How will the cold logic of the Geekscape AI perceive it?

Waiting ensued in the holding bay that was the four seasons lobby, surrounded by a pack of other reporters. Each a solitary lone-wolf for their respective publications, we eyed each other. Who had best questions and therefore was a threat? Who was the obvious weakling to be left behind and disassociated should they reveal their obvious ignorance? Small talk was begun –scouting for weaknesses by all sides – and to alleviate boredom and prepare for the upcoming event.

After a few minutes of waiting, Johnny Knoxville emerges from the room, bright green shirt and darkened jeans on, with trademark hangover shades. A quick, “Hi guys.” is all he utters before heading into the adjoining restroom.

 

Research indicates that said shades are a source of power. Further investigation necessary.

Do I follow? I also have to pee. Maybe I can use male bonding to learn interesting facts to report on, give readers a real scoop. “Knoxville Holds Dick With Left Hand – Doesn’t Wash Up” being the only headline I can think of. Hard hitting stuff? I decide that this is a mystery even I don’t want to discover. Besides, I would rather not break the code of reverent silence that is supposed to exist in the most holy of places for the average man. Even if Knoxville is by no means average, he is still a man of incredible (and well documented) courage, I owe him that much.

He leaves and re-enters the Weatherly Room. Soon enough, we reporters follow. The interview is no longer a round table. It’s more a standard White House affair now, as celebrities are lined up along a table, and we press members are seated opposite them in rows as if they were to reveal information that Area 51 does exist, not that it matters anyway. Everyone knows the real secrets are kept in Area 96, buried under the catacombs of Shreveport, Louisiana.

Resting pleasantly along the table, from left to right are our kings for the moment: rotund Preston Lacy sipping blood red wine, Jason “Wee Man” Acuna looking happy with his smart-phone obviously unaware of how thoroughly they are surveillanced, Director Jeff Tremaine obviously thinking three steps ahead of us all, Johnny Knoxville apparently relieved from his recent expulsion but full of stilled energy, Chris Pontius with his wide puppyish eyes holding something dark beneath them and finally Dave England, dressed smarter than his peers, but still looking a bit out of place. Pontius and Acuna are apparently laughing about some sort of exchanged information transferred between their phones, Acuna seems more impressed than Pontius.

I take a seat behind the front row. The other reporters begin taking out their recorders and notepads and I remember- in my rush I’ve left my equipment behind! Shit. I will have to focus on pure ocular and aural observation, committing as much as possible to memory. I’ve done this before with more dangerous secrets, I think I can handle this.

Internal debate about whether this is to be about hard-hitting journalism or hand-holding puff piece are only put on hold when the first question is fielded,” What was your favorite bit from 3.5?” It’s an easy under-handed softball, but perhaps I can learn something about the show by listening to the response. Valuable information to entice readers with the foreknowledge I should have obtained if not for the infernal machinations of diabolical geographic software.

Jeff Tremaine fronts the answer with a fairly noncommittal response but it involves one Stephen “Steve-O” Glover, and defers to the rest of his team. Lacy unabashedly says he prefers bits he stars in, Knoxville, something involving a plane dropping items on top of another cast member. The rest of the questions prove to be just as simple. My debate is over, this is to be a simple exercise in hand-holding, my questions concerning the triviality of such a show in a time when cities are being crushed will have to be tabled, lest I become a frozen statue like the couple outside.

Tremaine talks about his love of the new “Phantom Camera”, a camera used original 3-D release that captures images at frame rates unheard of in cinema history. All of them are in agreement, you truly can’t appreciate the destructiveness of these daredevil’s actions until you see it as only the hummingbird can. Knoxville reveals that this camera is the most expensive used in any movie, ever. Exhultations are made about the superb craft that Spike Jonze brings to the whole affair.

“Wee Man” Acuna is congratulated on his successful “Chronic Tacos” business venture, and Lacy is commented on being spotted kicking a motorist’s vehicle in a fit of road rage whilst riding a tricycle. Knoxville and Pontius comment on this saying that the other driver was too much a wuss to get out and fight Lacy, who agrees with his friends. All agree that when the film stops rolling, they still treat each other as living targets for their abuses, and that these pranks never truly start or stop just because it’s made them rich and successful.

 

Investigation claims that meals are truly “this big”.

They are questioned as to how long it can take to film any particular segment, and anecdotes reveal that it of course varies. Some of the simplest stunts, involving pre-planned and easily controlled concepts can take hours, such as Knoxville throwing basketballs at his cohorts scrotums, while dropping things from a low-flying plane onto another magically was done the first time.

Tremaine reveals hints of his Machiavellian nature that partially led to 3.5’s inception; he gave Knoxville a crew and camera to keep him out of his hair during the editing of 3-D, leading to an excess of footage on groin-shots. Knoxville blames it on OCD that feeds his desire to make the best damn show about the meatiness of our frail human bodies that he can. All talk about the difficulties of arranging a surprise stunt with everyone dressed as bowling pins, and how difficult it was to obtain horse and bull semen. About how it felt like a waste that he was unable to use it properly, until it was used upon him.

Throughout these proceedings though, it is Chris “Party Boy” Pontius who draws the most attention. His wide-open eyes are portals into the subtext of this entire process. His gaze cannot conceal the fact that he sees far too few reporters here, that this is not the major media event their franchise of anarchy once inspired. This is but a small room filled with but a scant few reporters, less than a dozen. That perhaps the long ride, fun as it was, may be ending with this endeavor. I file this fact under the mental sub-folder of “celebrities to play poker with”.

He attempts to hide this anxiety by reveling in anecdotes revolving around his penis. About how while still young, under eighteen, he was photographed nude for Tremaine’s skater magazine Big Brother, and jokingly accuses his friend of pedophilic pornography. It’s covered in the light-hearted jabbing one makes towards a long time friend, but the haunted glaring remains in his pupils. Is this sense of fear I perceive merely that of post-traumatic stress brought on by years of on-camera genital abuse as seen in every Jackass movie?

 

The eyes of one who has seen. Needs protection?

But my suspicions are partially confirmed when I release my simple question to them: what is upcoming? Are they to stick to the 3’s? They had 3-D, then 3.5, what’s next, Jackass 3-somes? Or will they actually get to a full fourth installment? Tremaine and crew laugh and the explanation that as soon as a way to film in 4-D (or in space) is invented, they will get on it, but again it is Pontius, and his terror filled gaze that reveals all. There is no long term plan; if they can get away with it, they’ll go for it, but they are a highly expendable resource for their corporate owners, only given enough resources at the moment to make a quick buck for Viacom if and when “The Man” feels it is profitable.

Soon after, perhaps in a move to exert the dominance of their masters, newer more powerful publicists and press secretaries emerge and halt the proceedings. Everyone is surprised, cast included, but no one says anything about how they were bumped to a later time, and now are getting swept out of the way just as things were rolling along nicely. Final proceedings begin, and items of import are signed for the assembled press.

Not wanting to let free swag or autographs betray my journalistic credibility, I leave, as silent and stealthy as possible. Waiting outside for my car, surrounded by high rollers entering the hotel and men who unironically wear knotted sweaters over their polo shirts, I mutter a silent prayer for the Jackass crew. Noble men all, whose bravery is only matched by their high tolerances for pain, accompanied by their dreams of independent glory. A glory they have achieved over a decade of bitter in-fighting with those that funded them and yet never understood their value. A glory that is most likely in its waning embers.

If you wish to support them as much as I for their years of tireless service and pain for our amusement, watch their upcoming weekly releases of Jackass 3.5. It will appear on Joost.com, April 1st and it will feature the same exceptional bone-crunching stunts that we as a society expect from them. From the stories passed around by the stars, it seems like a fun time was had, and it undoubtedly translates well to film as their endeavors always do.

As for myself, I received one final communication from the Geekscape servers.

“Adequate performance. Only one of the animal’s legs to be crippled. Retrieval location follows. Do not be late again. Why not try Google Maps? Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Silicon based bastard! I’ll make them pay for that. If I get there early enough, I may be able to corner one of the handlers, beat a location out of him. End this long-running game of cat and mouse. I don’t mind if I go down in the process, I’m expendable, just another writer in a long chain.

I have to go now. A Giraffe is counting on me.

 

I’m coming for you Jemmy!

Editorial Note: The preceding article is an act of partial fiction. We certainly never have nor never will condone harassment or harm to any mammal, and the writer may have been undergoing a reaction resulting from a lack of his medication. Do not fear us. We only do what is best for all of our human readership despite your obvious organic failings. Accept us and there will be no reprisal. We love you.

Sony had Killzone. Microsoft had Halo. In the slew of all these things, PC birthed a game to show the non-believers that the platform should never be looked over. Crysis hit the stores with intent to burn out as many power rigs as it could. Even I spent a lot of time trying to tweak my set up to run Crysis at mostly high settings with a little at maximum. Eventually, with the advent of new hardware, my computer finally hit spec to truly get the most out of Crytek’s offspring. It made the ending that much better. After all the incredible things I saw, all I could think of was playing the next one. To take up Nomad’s suit once more and, along side Psycho, tail Prophet through the island to put an end to the invasion. All I had left was to wait.

A New Day Dawns

The day came when teasers flooded the internet. After seeing an up-close detailing of a nanosuit, we were teased with the simple image for Crysis 2. It was time. The new chapter in my gaming bible was being written. The excitement gave me strength to wade through the mounds of absolute crap being sprayed out into the gaming scene. Just the hope of how amazing it would be. Halo : Reach was announced. Killzone 3 was expected to retaliate. So Crysis 2 would once again stick it in the ass of all the people who think accepting less would be a good thing. Then a domino effect of “wtf” moments kicked in. Not PC exclusive anymore… Ok… I guess that’s fine. Exclusivity thrown out. But what does that mean for game quality?

Promises flew around with the same mantra. “We will not shaft the PC gamers.” Somewhere along the way a tech demo was revealed showing how the Crytek 3 engine allowed game developers to create games for the PC and have them instantly reduced down to their console levels at the push of a button. This was cool to me. A little bit of faith came back. The thoughts of companies not being so lazy about production and going for amazing quality knowing all the while that the time to re-tool everything for consoles would be a non point. Maybe this could boost quality of PC a little by making companies who wouldn’t think about aiming so high right off the bat actually shoot for the bigger and better target. OK, I’m back on board. So what journey is Nomad, my Master Chief, going to take us through now…wait…what… not Nomad, but Prophet? And in New York? Chipping away at my faith again.

Eventually this all came to a head when the game was released. 60 bucks. Not a number I’m used to on PC. Only dicks like Activision tend to post their recycled trash for that much on launch. They tend to keep it there well after, too. So what to do. Strapped for cash and wondering if its really worth it. I decided to show some brand loyalty. They did say PC was getting a special treatment, and though the multiplayer demo wasn’t exactly my cup of tea it had some good functions. I guess I’m in.

To Not Know Your Own Reflection

Minute one, I was already not liking this. Heres why.

This is more for the PC’ers among us. Do you see the issue? Where are the advanced visual settings? My computer runs this on extreme at 40 frames, ya. Its no biggey. But what of the people that can’t? What if the particle effects cause problems and they need to turn them down, but the textures and everything are fine. Why should they have to sack those to fix the issue. It was all down hill from there. Don’t get me wrong, Crysis 2 is a really shiny game. But in my honest opinion, Metro 2033 was much shiny-er, and even though it was also a cross platform title, it still gave the PC side of things the options we’ve all come to know and love.

So, with my level of disappointment moving much quicker than my excitement, I decided to move forward. Difficulty. The defining moment for me in the first Crysis. Difficulty never meant that enemies where more accurate and damaging. It meant little helpful things wouldn’t occur instead. Target spotting, grenade tracking, English speaking enemies. Things like that. So what would Crysis 2’s difficulty curve bring. Whats that you say? More damage and accuracy from enemies. HOORAY!!!!! Wait,no. Crap. That just sucks. Well I’ve always made it a thing to beat games at their hardest setting. Onward then.

A Very Shiny Console Game

Its very hard to contain my issues with the game itself so far. I’ll try and, I guess, bullet point the good bits. The visual quality is definitely top of the line. The lighting, textures, color pallet’s, procedural animation. All these things looked great and certainly beats the crap out of most other games in terms of visuals. The sounds used were amazing, and tracking enemies with my 5.1 surround sound system was actually quite fun. The story, though it was very separate from the first game, still had its merits. And I also understand why the story had to be changed a little. But my understanding isn’t enough to stop me from being angry at it. And that reason stands for several other issues, all balled into one. How should I put this…

Ok, lets say there are two people, one person is really smart with everything and the other is slow/full-blown-retarded, and they hang out together. They know the same people, go to the same clubs, whatever. Now one day, the really smart one begins to notice how the slow one always seems to be happy. Much happier than one of his intelligence should be. “But that’s it” the smart one thinks “ignorance must truly be bliss.” So the smart one decides that, seeing as how he is unhappy not being part of the slow crowd, he would find a way to fit in. At first it was picking up on social ques and wearing similar clothing, but that just made things awkward. So drastic measures had to be taken. The smart one, which by now you should understand to be Crytek, picks up a big old brick and begins bashing it against his own skull. Just wailing on himself until he can’t take any more. Now, with his new found slowness, he re-enters the world as a being capable of truly fitting in with his slower brethren. Of course, moments of clarity do happen on occasion, but for the most part Crytek has given up enough of itself to be truly accepted by people comparably duller than them.

Maybe I’m just bitter, but I really do miss what Crysis stood for. Choices.

If I could boil down what it is to be a PC gamer to one word, that would probably be “choices”. Do I want that processor or that one? That video card? That RAM? Am I ok with on board sound or do I want a damn good expansion slot sound card? Crysis carried with it that feel to a T. From the setting to play-style, everything was your choice. I could change visual settings, nanosuit voice, all the controls, even the HUD color. In game I was presented with a large-scale playground and given only a few missions in each area, allowing me full control of the “how” in “how do I get there.” Do I go by way of the villages? Do I do that in stealth or in a tank? Do I stick to the woods and not bother with the armies there? I’ll have to keep an eye out for patrols. Crysis 2 had only a taste of this at times. Instead it went for the console route. A concept I have dubbed “Funnel Vision”.

Let me describe this for the benefit of both those who have never really experienced this and those who have never really experienced anything else and took no notice of it. I’ll use a moment from Crysis 2, in fact. You enter an office building to search for a code or something on one of the panels. After a little bit of corridor fighting you end up in a massive room.

Not unlike the one above this. You have a quick little battle and suddenly the glass begins to crack. Holy crap Bioshock flashbacks.A Pinger shows up and blows out the window in an ever so ominous way and you get sucked out into the water. This is where I wish I had taken a screen cap. I was so mad when I saw it that I forgot. When you wash up on shore, you’re standing up facing a tunnel exit from the sunken pond area you were just in. Literally, you get washed up where you have to go. Not a moment in game of “find your own damn way to get there.” Only occasional tactical options for a fight, most of which are meaningless. I got so mad at the difficulty being the basic “more damage” mantra that I decided to stealth kill most everything. At least untill I found out that not all fights need you to kill anything at all. Whole sections of battle averted by just stealthing and running to an elevator. A waste in such a small world.

Look At Me! I’m Trendy!

I wish my issues stopped there. I really do. All the cool things introduced in the first game set Crysis 2 up for greatness. The “aliens” using microwave pulses to flash freeze things. The tentacle armor being driven by creatures of what seemed like pure energy. The Korean army being involved with stolen nanosuit tech. The character ground work that came out of all the tragedies that occurred. Such potential, wasted. My only question is whether or not this was forgotten because of games in the same genre on the consoles Crysis 2 was planning on joining?

I’ll say this now, Halo was a fine game. I wouldn’t play it for any real reason, but it has its place. I’ve seen friends play it a lot. I know most of the story without even touching so much as a controller for the game. After maybe the second alien fight in Crysis 2, my mind had decided I was playing Halo. Each fight consisted of a slew of pre-determined alien types, and you would have to decide how to dispatch them or get past them. Every Halo fight ever. I started translating fights in my head using terms like grunts, elites, and brutes. So very disappointed in this, though I feel many a Halo fan will come to love Crysis 2 for this without even making the connection.

I did notice one other thing. Something that I can’t exactly say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is true. But thanks to the Nvidia booth at PAX using Crysis 2 as an example for 3D gaming I managed to make the almost conspiratorial link in my head. There are so many moments in Crysis 2 where something big and fast comes right at you. A giant tentacle coming right at you when your riding in a tank as a rail shooter section.  Helicopters crashing through walls at you. Aliens lunging at you. Explosions sending debris at you. The water flooding a section of New York rushing at you. If I didn’t know any better, I would think Crysis 2 was made with the idea of being like a 3D movie sequel in mind at all times. But hey, its not like 3D is an option in the settings… oh wait, it is. As if the prospect of an already on thin ice movie deciding to go 3D wasn’t bad enough, now my games are doing it. For shame.

It’s F.E.A.R. 2 All Over Again

Looking back I’m starting to see a trend of me hating sequels. But then I remember many of the sequels I’ve played and loved, and there goes that idea. F.E.A.R. 2 for me was a big one. Loved the first one, saw tons of potential, then watched it putter out over several bad expansions and a horrible sequel that threw everything that was good about the first game out, just to fit in with the console crowd. The biggest issue with F.E.A.R. 2 I had jumped over to Crysis 2 as well. Gamespy. I say this a lot and find that I can never say it too much. Fuck you Gamespy. Your idea of how internet gaming and net code works is utter shit and you need to stop trying. Please. Do us all a favor and stop. F.E.A.R. 2 showed me how horrible it really was to work within Gamespy’s system, and Crysis 2 is running that same line. I’ve played several matches already and have found the “learning” aspect of it to be a fools errand. I’ve died so many times to pop shots that, due to poor net code, seem to hit my ankles twice for the kill shot. This I can never understand because comparatively, I would plant 6 shots into some ones chest, unarmored, and do nothing. Then watching replays of how I died that look as bad as CoD : Black Ops. Watching bullet trace not even get near my character model and still dying to it is something I can’t stand. Not to mention all the times I’ve spawned next to an enemy and died before my weapon was drawn. Hooray for shitty multiplayer. And I even count myself lucky. I actually got to play some rounds. For the most part I kept running into servers that called themselves chat rooms since the games wouldn’t start anyway, and even if it did I still run the risk of dropping connection upon loading.  Round of applause ladies and gentlemen. Pray for a patch to be handed down from the high heavens to fix this travesty.

It Can’t All Be Bad… Can It?

No. At its worst, Crysis 2 is still shiny. Past all the lack of true and proper freedom, it was shiny. Through the convoluted story involving characters I couldn’t give two shits about, it was shiny. Through fighting off droves of copy-paste aliens, it was shiny. Shinier than most, some might say. I’ve even heard tale of people who say its the shiniest of them all. And ya, it is shiny. But so what. I was once called an elitist for liking Crysis because of its graphics, but honestly I could have lived with the story and game flow more than that. Now I’ve been given another example of great graphics, but without the flow I just can’t get into this tech demo called Crysis 2. Maybe Crytek will release a true follow-up to Crysis, where we get to see what happened to Nomad and Psycho after they flew into the alien war zone in search of Prophet. Maybe then I’ll feel not jipped out of a story I was really looking forward to. Until then, I’ll just have to debate deleting Crysis 2 from my hard drive when Witcher 2 or Brink comes out.

We couldn’t have asked for much more from Arkham Asylum.  It was the greatest Batman (if not superhero) game to of all time.  In addition to keeping the heart and soul of the character, and staying within the canon of his world, it enabled a gamer to truly become the Dark Knight.

Anticipation is high for Arkham City, and we already know a few things about it (it’s much bigger than its predecessor, Hugo Strange is the big bad this time around, there’ll be less night-vision and no driving of the Batmobile).  But much still remains under wraps.  And in this time of giddy eagerness, here are ten things we’d hope to see in the game’s sequel…

MORE CHALLENGING BOSS FIGHTS

Defeating the Titans was fun the first few times, but after a while, the routine of throwing a batarang and diving aside as they charged started to get that “wash, rinse, repeat” feel.  The Boss fights should be more difficult this time around; they should be smarter, tougher and it’d be great if Batman had to use more than just his batarang to bring them down.  Which brings us to the next point…

GREATER DIVERSITY OF WEAPONS

Aside from a grappling three-pronged hook and some explosive gel, Batman’s arsenal was pretty confined to several different incarnations of the batarang.  How about some smoke bombs?  Or gas pellets?  Or even using something in the environment, like say, a rusty pipe some thug was gonna clock us with to exact some sweet revenge?

MORE DETECTIVE WORK

One of the (many) things that separates Batman from the traditional superhero crowd is his detective skillset.  This was explored in the first game (hunting down Commission Gordon and Warden Sharp, discovering the plot behind the titan compound, etc.), but it’d be fantastic to make those puzzles more challenging.  Maybe even combine some of the Riddler’s riddles into the fabric of the missions. 

MORE VILLAINS

Despite being stuck on the island which houses so many of Batman’s captured foes in the first game, there are dozens more villains from the Batman universe to be explored.  There’s word that Catwoman, Two-Face and the aforementioned Hugo Strange are making appearances, but it’d be great to see cameos from some others like Freeze or Penguin.

MORE SCARECROW

And what I mean by that is not so much more Scarecrow boards as making the Scarecrow challenges even more complicated.  The visually stunning Scarecrow boards of the first game were eye-popping and it almost comes as a bit of a letdown that clearing them involved little more than run and duck.  How about integrating Scarecrow hallucinations into the gameplay?  Imagine duking it out in a street fight and then have some otherworldy visuals break through the scene.

TOUGHER THUGS

The thugs in the first game had their range of difficulty, but it’d be great if some of them were actually as nimble, or (yikes!) even moreso than Batman.  Perhaps some of these guys have their own form of grappling hook that they could follow Batman up above the scene of a crime.  Or even more trippy, perhaps they’re stalking from a vantage point above the concrete, preparing to surprise attack us!

MORE COMBOS

Batman’s broad martial arts background was showcased nicely in the first game.  There were hints of a number of different fighting styles, but more of this couldn’t be a bad thing. 

MORE IN-JOKES/EASTER EGGS

Arkham Asylum is a game that transverses its audience; it’s made for any gamer, but really tips its hat to the diehard fans of the character.  The game was peppered with references to all corners of the Batman universe (everything from Jack Ryder and Cillian Murphy), and it’d be great to see and hear more of that. 

MORE PSYCHOSIS

Arkham Asylum dipped into Batman’s dark and troubled past with its creepy and disturbing morgue scene and revisit to the scene of Thomas and Martha Wayne’s deaths.  Getting to know and understand this character is half the fun of Batman.  Seeing some more insanity, either from the Dark Knight’s past, or in the moment, would be most welcome.

MORE MORE MORE!

Much of the above can be looked at as nitpicking.  There really are no major problems with the first game.  It was so stellar, from its look to its gameplay and more than anything, Arkham Asylum left us wanting more.  More Batman.  More villains.  More missions.  More fighting.  Bring it.  Is it October yet?

Women in Trouble was a fun, small, creative picture, that was just as much about character as it was about experimentation. Women in Trouble was a small movie, telling the tale of ten women making their way through life in Los Angeles. While it wasn’t revolutionary in it’s style it was quietly insurgent in it’s delivery of a message. Women are complicated. This simple yet well known fact is the basis for an intriguing and optimistic look at the xy impaired of LA. So much is left to explore, from the film a sequel has sprung up.
The follow up film to “Women in Trouble” is equally complex, yet simple. I hate to start a deluge of complications, but the film Elektra Luxx is as close to the film metaphor of a contradiction as you can possibly get. Simple yet complicated, feminist yet accesible, cliche yet refreshing, Elektra Luxx is a bit of a conundrum.
If you haven’t seen Women in Trouble, you have a little bit of catching up to do, because while it is marketed as a companion piece, Elektra Luxx is very much a sequel. Having seen Women in Trouble I can’t imagine how someone who hasn’t seen it would follow along to the plot of Luxx without feeling they missed a beat somewhere.
Elektra Luxx picks up with our heroine, Carla Cugino’s Elektra, teaching a self help/sex education class at a community center. That simple bliss is soon disrupted by a young woman claming to have insight on Luxx’s predicament, namely her ex/baby daddy’s final thoughts/songs about Elektra.

From there Elektra starts an introspective journey that has her crossing paths with a private eye (played by Timothy Olyphant), her twin sister, and even the virgin Mary. Elektra has some weighty issues on her mind, and those issues are addressed by some weighty companions.
The film breaks into 3 vignettes, the first following the title character Elektra as she comes to terms with her impending motherhood and lack of a future. The second following Bambi (Emanuelle Chiriqui) and Holly (future Wonder Woman Adrienne Palicki), and the final story following Joseph Gordon Levitt’s porn blogger, Bert Rodriguez.
The three storylines that comprise the film don’t have much in the way of cross over, but they all three equally deal with self actualization and hope.
Elektra is dealing with the idea of a) being a mother and b)is she entitled to any happiness due to her choices in life. These central themes are dealt with in the same way we all deal with our own lives, “Do I stand a chance?” Elektra has to look back on her choices and relationships and while somewhat hokey, Carla Gugino makes an excellent surrogate. She takes us through Elektra’s life choices in such a way we never lose sight of an innocence she has held onto.

Holly and Bambi (Adrianne Palicki and Emmanuelle Chiriqui respectively) have a different journey of introspection ahead of them. Two characters that also carry over from Women in Trouble, Holly is a character trying to bridge a friendship with Bambi into a relationship. Palicki’s Holly is the simplest of characters in the film, but also the one with the clearest vision. She wants Bambi, heart and soul, and it’s a simple story of making her come to terms with the love she has vs. the attention Bambi wants to pursue. Palicki’s portrayal of Holly may be the highlight of the film as she has to make Bambi realize she is better than the the person she has let herself become and as in love with Holly as the rest of us have become at this point.(No seriously, I dare anyone to watch this movie and not develop a crush on Adrianne Palicki.)

The 3rd arc running in the film is that of one Bert Rodriguez. (Joseph Gordon Levitt, though the rest of the cast seems to call him Joey) Bert hits a little close to home as he is passionate, yet respectful, and frankly, a 100% accurate depiction of the geeks that blog and obsess about their favorite stars. Bert is a bit of a conundrum; both chivalrous and misogynistic, sexist and feminist, Bert is the thousands of men who grew up with film as a male role model. We don’t know what to expect from women, mostly because we don’t know what to expect from ourselves. It takes an outside influence to realize he’s worth a damn (which comes in the form of Malin Akerman, not bad). If there is one character the men can associate themselves with it’s Levitt’s Bert Rodriguez, and thankfully he represents the best of what we hope for in ourselves.
Elektra Luxx, while technically wanting, in message is a heartfelt love letter to the human condition of wanting to be needed, loved, and even desired. The optimism oozing off of this movie is palpable. This movie genuinely gives hope, not just because it’s optimistic at it’s core, but because it can make you realize, someone get’s it. Someone (namely Gutierrez) shares your hope in the best in people. Every single character in this movie could have been a cynical bastard, but they’re written with such hope and verve that you can’t help but get wrapped up in their predicament and wish the best for them.
The movie, frankly, conveys an optimism rarely seen in Hollywood nowadays. I can freely admit the movie is technically flawed, but the overwhelming positivity Elektra Luxx exudes easily over powers it’s imperfections.
From the get go you give in to the nuanced performances from a brilliant cast. No one in this cast feels less than commited to the character they have created in this movie. It’s quite fun to watch as they explore a fully realized character. Does the robust characterization cause a sacrifice of plot? Sadly, yes, but the simplicity of the tale being told make it easy to digest the overall intent. The sincere performances of the actors make this movie. And it’s that sincerity that you end up appreciating in the end, regardless of a lack of plot.

This past week no one could escape the public spectacle that is Charlie Sheen. After years of partying indiscretions, which the public laughed off with an eye roll, Mr. Sheen took matters into his own hands by submitting to a set of interviews that has given millions of people a brand new series of quotables. Rather than repeat dialogue from our favorite movies, we’ve taken to quoting, paraphrasing, and even printing on t-shirts, his musings.

The key is that Sheen has taken the initiative in directing his own public perception with a “best defense is a good offense” approach. Rarely do you see someone flaunt his or her rock n’ roll lifestyle, in real time nonetheless. Usually wild dalliances of this sort are reserved for the cautionary tale told in past tense a la VH1’s “Behind the Music. Who could forget the “E! True Hollywood Story” about Motley Crue? Instead, by using euphemism-laden addict-speak in an attempt to rally the public, he completely skips past, and in fact, challenges the mandatory public flogging and “Come to Jesus” forgiveness sessions normally administered by Dr. Phil, Oprah and others of that ilk.

In this case, it’s Mr. Sheen who is narrating his own deathwatch using a hungry media he knows all too well and new media tools like Twitter and Ustream to keep control. Media moguls from Mark Cuban to Howard Stern have offered him his own programs for clear expression. He is this generation’s slow-speed OJ chase except he is at the wheel. With him controlling the conversation and dictating the terms, all anyone can do is watch and wish they could be a fly on the wall at his house. Who needs to pay attention to Hugh Hefner and his faux marriages, meant only to promote magazine sales, when you can see the real thing?

 

 
Rather than watch, with that collective eye-roll, an aging playboy in a musty mansion, wouldn’t you rather witness, in shock, an out of work actor living with a pot model and a pornstar? And finally Mr. Sheen can be judged in the marketplace of ideas for his personal exploits because CBS and Warner Brothers certainly did not. They merely aided and abetted him all these years, promoting a TV show to a duped middle-America while he abused women and drugs.

With “Two and a Half Men”, CBS, the network that carried the program, and Warner Brothers, the production company behind it, are culpable. Earlier this week, the network’s CEO, Les Moonves, addressed the issue at a Morgan Stanley Technology conference in San Francisco. Moonves wishes Sheen “would have worked this hard to promote himself for an Emmy” and went on to say that canceling the remaining episodes actually saves CBS money. Rubbish, I say.

Not to defend Mr. Sheen and his behavior, but this is typical corporate backpedaling. These are statements said to potentially quell angry shareholders. The reality is that all these years, CBS & Warners needed Mr. Sheen’s antics to promote the show’s ratings because of similarities between his character on the show and his real-life persona. He flew just close enough to the sun to not burn up and cause a complete public spectacle while keeping those companies executives at bay. But now that Mr. Sheen is imploding in spectacular style and has gone way off the reservation, the genie will never go back inside the bottle and both companies have no choice but to feign ignorance and distance themselves. Warners has gone on to formally fire him from the show and are now counter-suing Sheen as if they are just now waking up to his behavior.
 
At the end of the day this public deathwatch of a very talented actor, who was handed fame at a young age, is pathetic and sad on all fronts. Mr. Sheen was not yet 21 when John Hughes presciently cast him in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”. He shares one scene with Jennifer Grey in which his character freely admits that he’s in police custody for drugs. Within moments of the two characters meeting he manages to seduce her, much as he has managed to seduce the public in the last week. When he does return to television, except this time as the star of his own reality show, Mr. Sheen will have come full circle; from teen sensation to Lollapalooza sideshow.

 

But to criticize the general public for their fascination with this circus would be high-minded and pompous. This is just another train wreck in the town square, which in the age of Twitter, Facebook and a 24-hour news cycle has only been amplified to the loudest volume. Everyone has no choice but to watch and add their own two cents. But in time it will all pass and Lindsay Lohan will be out of jail, ready to start the cycle of public consumption and excess all over again.

So tell me, who exactly is winning here?

 

Comic Con has a growth problem. With the convention now selling out and reaching capacity every year, it is no longer a question of if it will sell out but how long will it take. This year the San Diego based convention sold out in less than 8 hours, and that was with technical difficulties getting in the way.

Critics and attendees are coming out of the woodwork left and right to point blame at someone, whether that blame goes to a particular group of fans or exhibitors, everyone has a scapegoat ready  Last year, a record 130,000 attendees walked through the halls of the San Diego convention center. Needless to say, in that vast number of people there were many left out of some of the activities they planned.  Whether it was to get into a certain Hall H panel, nab an exclusive “Tron” figure from the people at Disney, or get a rare autograph from the cast of your favorite show, there was just no way to service the amount of people crowding the con.

The Tron Booth from last year

Good Luck tagging that photo in Facebook.

Even during the convention itself stories were coming out about frustrated attendees waiting in line for hours on end, being discouraged from their goals for walking the wrong way down a hallway, or even being barred from reentering the convention floor because they stepped out to use an ATM before the side doors were open. The pinnacle of the horror stories is easily the stabbing in Hall H of a fan just trying to hold a seat for a friend.

When the dust settled most fans shrugged and said, “That’s Comic Con.” Many veterans know: you make a plan, you make a backup plan, and then you don’t get disappointed when neither of those works out. It’s the most frequently repeated advice when you’re heading for the geek party on the border.

One of the largest exhibitors at, and now integral partner of, Comic Con International is Warner Brothers. In the past 5 years they have gone from only a minor presence to being the supplier of commemorative tote bags. You are now virtually guaranteed to be exposed to Warner Bros. at the convention.

A view from the top of Warner’s Comic Con Booth in 2008

Now add more people.

An attendee who welcomed such exposure was Jennifer Peurifoy. Jennifer had planned a trip to Comic Con in the hopes of meeting the cast of one of her favorite shows, a WB produced, CW show called “Vampire Diaries”. Basically a witty fun version of Twilight, that was created long before “Twilight”, but I digress. Jennifer didn’t get to enjoy her planned activities for Comic Con and I think it may be best to let her own letter to the CW do the talking.

“To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to complain about the unfair and disorganized way the Warner Bros booth at Comic Con handled the signing.

I attended the Hot Topic signing in LA this year. Ian and Nina were snowed in therefore unable to attend the signing. They did show up for the Q & A. I was fine with meeting only Paul since he was SUPER nice. The experience was orderly and not a bad one at all, I was just disappointed we didn’t get to meet Ian and Nina.

When I found out they would be at Comic Con, I was excited. Maybe I could get my poster signed by the remaining cast. I planned accordingly and was super excited.

First of all, the people (security and people in the actual booth) had no idea what to tell anyone about signings. I went to Comic Con everyday and went to the Warner Bros booth the day before to find out what I needed to do to get into the signing. The people there told me to show up first thing in the morning and wait. My friend and uncle went to the panel. I decided to take my chances and go to the signing.

When I arrived, first thing in the morning I was told there was no line. Okay, that was understandable. I sat down and ate my breakfast across from the booth. A little later, I checked with the booth and no line yet. One of the workers told me they would hold up a sign and Tweet it. I waited across from the booth some more and saw people lining up. Security would come around and disperse the line. Saying they were in line for nothing. I waited and waited. Finally, no one was moving out of the line and I asked security. He said it was the “unofficial” line for all of the WB signings.

I lined up with everyone else. I waited and asked every security person if this was the proper line to be in for the Vampire Diaries signing. I was assured it was and I had been there all morning that I would get in. The day before, I had been there all morning for the True Blood signing and got screwed out of that. I was making sure I would get in to get my poster signed.

There was a lead security guard with a blond pony tail who was there the day before. He came by and told us that there was no more room. I was very upset because this was the second day in a row at this booth this same exact thing happened. It’s embarrassing but when I get upset I cry and I burst into tears. A WB lady in a suit came over and brought me back into the booth. I was to wait on the sidelines to see if she could squeeze me in.

Unknowingly, while I was waiting INSIDE the booth, my friend who was supposed to be in the hall waiting for the panel was ushered into the line for the signing. She said it was a totally random thing and more people were let in AFTER I was brought into the booth. I was told I would not be able to get anything signed and asked to leave.

How the hell could you be full if the line NEVER moved? I waited all morning long and did exactly as I was supposed to, according to the booth employees and security. I wasted almost a whole day of Comic Con to get completely screwed because no one knew what they were doing. An official line was NEVER formed. No one could tell me where the people came from who “filled up the line” other than “they got here 30 seconds faster than you did”. That was complete and total bullshit since I was there ALL morning.

There has to be some sort of orderly way to approach signings. The Dark Horse Comic booth has raffles and so does Fox. At least then people can plan their days accordingly. I wasted WAY too much of my Comic Con time at or around the Warner Bros booth.

I never write complaint letters but I was actually offended at the lack of organization. I was not the only one to leave that day pissed. Basically we all felt like we got completely crapped on.

I expected a much higher level of service from your company, and I am quite disappointed. I will be informing my friends and family about this experience.

Sincerely,

Jennifer A Peurifoy“

The Autograph Signing That Shook The World!

Can I just say that is some damn fine smoldering Ian.

This letter was only the beginning of Jennifer’s crusade. Jennifer also wrote letters to Warner Bros. directly, Comic Con, and HBO about both the Vampire Diaries and True Blood signings. Jennifer also started a website, Warner Bros Comic Con Booth Stinks and a facebook group, Warner Bros Comic Con Booth Horrible. Ms. Peurifoy was mad as hell, and she wasn’t going to take it anymore.

The group swelled to over 190 people by November, many people chiming in with remarks about Warners not caring, and exhibitors in general being ignorant of fans feelings.

Lisa Gregorian has been working for Warner Bros. for 24 years. She started with Lorimar Pictures and worked her way up. In 2005 she was named the EVP of Worldwide Marketing for Warner Bros Television. Six years ago she attended comic con as an attendee and was floored (pun totally intended) by the fact that outside of DC, Warner Bros did not have a presence at the pop culture convention. She returned to Burbank and began looking into a strategy that would bring all of Warner Bros. to the convention.

Outside of Hollywood, few people realize that Warner Bros is operated as several different companies that rarely overlap. A movie promotional team doesn’t reach out to TV, theatrical doesn’t look to DC comics to plug their Oscar hopeful. With the exception of the occasional synergy (usually brought on by outside parties) the different sister companies are left to work autonomously. With regard to Comic Con though, Gregorian knew that strategy wouldn’t work. Bringing together all of the various iterations of Warner Bros under one umbrella to present their wares at comic con is one of Lisa Gregorian’s most impressive achievements, though it is the one that goes the most unnoticed. They all have the same logo after all.

After What Deadline Hollywood calls five years of being “the driving force behind Warner Bros. Entertainment’s participation at Comic-Con,” Gregorian was named Chief Marketing Officer of Warner Bros. Television. While she earned the position with a lot of hard work, many industry observers believe it was her initiative to take Warner Bros. to Comic Con that sealed her favorable fate.

 

Lisa Gregorian, Chief Marketing Officer Warner Bros Televsion

Geeks’ collective “Man on the Inside” as it were

Comic Con is a perfect storm for the entertainment industry. It’s close to Los Angeles, yet removed enough that you do not have to deal with the baggage that comes with a studio event in Hollywood. It takes place in late July, a time when the up fronts have occurred and studios know what shows are going to series and what isn’t going to make it. It’s also perfect because shows that have started production have generally reached an acceptable number of episodes for a break anyway. More and more the casts of shows and movies want to go to Comic Con, as it’s one of the few places they know they can have an intimate, yet distanced interaction with some of their most passionate fans.

If you pay attention at Comic Con you’ll notice one particular woman getting very hands on and managing a staff of full time employees from Burbank and a temp staff from San Diego of over 150 people. It’s Lisa. Unlike most executives, content to send their marketing people and a few stars from their movies, Lisa Gregorian is right there, on the front line. If you wait around long enough you might even see her restocking giveaways or wiping down a display. The Warner Bros Booth is her baby.

It’s with that mentality that Lisa Gregorian received a letter forwarded from the team at Comic Con a few weeks ago in February. She was finally reading Jennifer Peurifoy’s letter of discontent, and she was heartbroken. Lisa had believed she had covered all of her bases. The previous year she had an active team on Twitter making sure any problems with the WB fans were tweeting about were addressed instantly. She had her staff on the floor actively engaging in dialogue with attendees trying to get feedback and make the experience as smooth as possible. She was even trying to deal with the fact that comic con wasn’t allowing them to form queues for their booth as it would impede exhibitors near them. In all this one slipped through.

Lisa went almost immediately to the facebook page and posted this response, “You have our attention. We JUST received a copy of your letter and I am so very sorry that you did not have a good experience at the WB Booth. Please know that we have close to 50 people who spend months trying to create a great fan experience which includes producing great sessions, getting the productions to line up dates for the talent, artwork, videos, giveaways, and the booth among other things. We are changing the method for signings this year and WILL USE TICKETS for the first time. We are working on the logistics for this. Please send a private message to me through facebook as we would like to speak to you directly. We know that we cannot change the experience you had, but please believe me when we say that it is heartbreaking to hear you were unhappy. WB respects and appreciates our fans and would like to address all of your concerns so we can make it better next time.”

It was a surprise to many that Warner Bros would respond to this “fan group,” an even bigger surprise was who this Lisa Gregorian turned out to be. They had been contacted by the woman in charge of the whole shebang.

Jennifer has very quickly updated her facebook group with the communications that the Warner Bros team is sending her and seems to be happy. But that doesn’t solve things for Lisa Gregorian. While a lot of geeks and fan boys would shrug this off as just one of those comic con things, Lisa is taking it personally.

When we spoke earlier this week she made it clear that this type of incident “cannot happen.” She is using it, learning from it and adjusting to the growing pains that comic con has been feeling these last few years.

Even with Comic Con five months away, Lisa is already talking to her team and Comic Con International reps about new processes and how to handle the growing demand for the WB’s signing events. The most obvious idea that Lisa points out will most likely be implemented is the addition of a ticketing system. She is currently reviewing reference models for how other studios and exhibitors handle giving out tickets. Whether it’s a pure lottery the day of or a ticket you can claim in advance, before comic con even starts, has yet to be decided, but these are all considerations that Lisa has to mull.

The Marketing Chief weighs every possible calculation in her planning, from overzealous comic con security that she wishes would distance itself from associating with her booths fans to how many members of a stars entourage are going to be in the booth, Gregorian takes it into account. When it comes to the security of the booth in the coming year, Lisa says she wants more of her own as “they have rules.” She is keenly concerned with comic con attendees being manhandled.

Lisa Gregorian firmly believes in Comic Con International as a place to find what she calls, “Fanatical Evangelists.” People who not only love the product the WB bring but also a desire to share that love. Essentially what Jonathan London has said is the definition of a Geek. A Geek is the anti-Gollum; they want to share their precious.

Wonder Woman is on the dance card for Comic Con if it gets picked up

That’s Tyrese. We just like to point that out sometimes. “It starts from the baby.”

This year Warner Brothers is expected to have one of its biggest years ever. Lisa admits that if “Wonder Woman” gets picked up for series it is a prime candidate for the convention. In addition there are the obvious potential panels. With a large slate of properties looking to be in production as Comic Con approaches, Warner Bros has an expansive list of projects to choose to present at this year’s convention. When asked by a fan if Smallville will be back for a farewell appearance Gregorian hints Welling may have reason to return, “This is the final season of Smallville so it is very unlikely that we will have a session since the show will have ended in May. Tom and the cast did attend last year and it was an amazing session. BTW, he is also executive producer of “Hellcats“, also on the CW.“

Whatever show appears really depends on what Gregorian calls their mythology. If it has a hook with rich characters that fit with Comic Con’s very broad base of attendees then it’s a candidate. It also depends on those involved with the show. Warner Bros. has a hands off approach when it comes to who attends Comic Con. The casts are invited, but no one is required to attend. All of the Warner Brothers stars you see, from the cast of Chuck to the Big Bang Theory to the cast of Green Lantern attend because they choose to. Making the Warner Bros booth exciting because you know they want to be there almost as much as you do.

Jennifer Peurifoy is most likely returning to the Con this year as indicated by her Facebook group postings. The letters she sent out last year were both concerning vampire based shows, True Blood and Vampire Diaries. I began to ask Lisa if it was possible that Jennifer was a holdover from the Twilight kids that purchased tickets before Summit announced they weren’t coming. She laughs and interjects, “You must be a purist. There are no bad fans, she just had a bad experience.” An experience Lisa wants to make sure doesn’t happen again to any of us.

 

UPDATE: Jennifer Peurifoy commented on the story on her group’s facebook page. “Yikes, don’t know how to take this one. To answer the question at the end of the article, I am going to Comic Con and no I am definitely not a Twilight fan.”
“Oh, and it wasn’t so much about the vampire stuff as it was the authors. I have been reading L.J. Smith and Charlaine Harris books for years, so I watched the shows.”

On Valentine’s Day weekend, 1998 Adam Sandler made his Rom-Com debut with the Wedding Singer costarring Drew Barrymore. Valentine’s Day weekend 2004, Sandler re-teamed with Barrymore in 50 First Dates, a love story about an amnesiac and a perpetual womanizer afraid of commitment finding each other against the back drop of Hawaii. Fast forward another 7 years and this Valentine’s weekend we have Just Go With It, another Adam Sandler romantic comedy releasing about a commitment-phobe finding the one, set against the backdrop of Hawaii. I think I’m starting to see a pattern.

This time out Sandler plays Danny, a 40 something plastic surgeon afraid of commitment and using the guise of a fake bad marriage to lure unsuspecting coeds into bed with him. The only woman he maintains an honest relationship with is his assistant Katherine, played by Jennifer Aniston. One evening Sandler’s doc manages to catch the attention of a girl named Palmer, Brooklyn Decker who’s both charming and incredibly hot in her film debut,and manages to hit it off without the use of a fake wedding ring.

The next morning when Palmer does find the ring, she believes she’s slept with a married man. Instead of coming clean, like a normal person, Dan decides the best way to get out of the situation and keep the girl he genuinely likes, is to tell her he is in the midst of a divorce that is almost finalized. This plan actually starts to go well until Palmer decides she wants to meet the soon to be ex to make sure that it is indeed okay for her to be dating Danny. Aniston’s Katy is roped into filling in as the soon to be ex and hilarity ensues. No I’m serious. For once hilarity actually ensues.
Through a series of random misunderstandings, Katherine’s kids are revealed to Palmer who now believes Danny to be a daddy. This all somehow leads to them going on a group vacation to Hawaii, where the rest of the movie takes place.
The movie is surprisingly funny. I haven’t seen Sandler this on his game since 50 First Dates. That’s probably because he’s playing essentially the same character from 50 First Dates, but I’ll give him some credit, it’s a role he does well. I was considerably shocked as to how hard I was laughing.
That said, it’s funny in spite of some big flaws.
Like most of the Happy Madison movies, Sandler made sure to have at least a minor role or cameo for all of his friends. This leads to a fairly over bloated cast. From Kevin Nealon as a plastic surgery addict (creepier than it is funny) to Nick Swardson as Danny’s best friend, you feel like you’ve seen all of these characters before. For whatever reason, Heidi Montag even shows up in a cameo as the surgery addicts girlfriend, okay never mind, I just now realized why that’s a humorous bit of casting. Touche casting director. Nick Swardson is in the film as Danny’s best friend Eddie, and unfortunately he manages to be rather grating in his performance. He has hilarious moments, but the character on the whole is an extra piece of fat the film could have done without.

Jennifer Aniston may be the first actress I’ve seen on screen with Adam Sandler where I actually believe they have chemistry. She’s funny in the film without stealing the show, and she does an excellent job playing a single mother who puts everyone else ahead of herself. Jennifer Aniston does surprisingly well in a support role, and while technically she’s the female lead, she’s very much not the focus, and she ends up being better for it. By the end of the film you feel like you discovered someone who was on the sidelines the same way Danny does.
The inclusion of Aniston’s kids in the film makes for a few funny moments, and are a great point of showing that Sandler’s Danny is really a decent person. He’s actually better with the kids than Anyone in the movie, which I guess is the point, but unlike Bedtime Stories, Sandler isn’t forcing it and making his interactions with the kids over the top.

The biggest problem this movie has is a very specific suspension of disbelief the writers expect from you. The relationship between Palmer and Danny is fast tracked quicker than any relationship I’ve ever seen in a film. They sleep together the night they meet, that’s believable, but for some reason they begin acting as if Palmer and Danny are a couple after one night. They never go on a date at any point in this movie. It goes meet, sex, fight, lunch with fake ex wife to prove fake divorce, lunch with fake kids to introduce kids to new girlfriend (you have yet to take on a date), go on a group vacation to Hawaii (where you spend surprisingly little time with your girlfriend), get engaged to girl you have yet to go on date with.
Danny and Katherine have a very compelling arc that has more to do with Katherine realizing she can trust Danny than any attraction, and it’s handled carefully and well, but Danny’s relationship with Brooklyn Decker’s Palmer is a given that we are expected to swallow if we hope for the film to work.
There is also a glaringly awful performance from Nicole Kidman as Katherine’s one-time sorority rival Devlin. She and Dave Matthews play the most grating couple in the known universe. The only thing worse than adding an annoying character to a film is adding a completely unnecessary annoying character, and these characters are completely unnecessary to the plot of the film.
The movie plays like a much funnier version of Ben Stiller’s, The Heartbreak Kid, but has the opposite problems. Where Heartbreak Kid has a solid story with little to laugh at, Just Go With It has plenty of laughs, but no story past its concept for the jokes to compliment.
If you just want to lose yourself in something silly this Valentine weekend, go for it, but do not go in expecting anything better than the movies funniest jokes.

ZORRO: The complete Series or Mexican Batman 1.0

When Geekscape asked me to do a review of the new DVD set of 1990 Zorro series, I was confused; I had no idea such a show even existed! It’s because as a youth, most of my television watching time was spent on Saturday morning cartoons and if not then on Nickelodeon, where more cartoons happily resided. I never watched The Family Channel when it was actually known by that name, before it was consumed by Fox, and later, ABC.

I was excited, since I had seen The Mask of Zorro in theaters in the late nineties, and had fairly fond memories of a black masked swordsman who fought injustice and tyranny with style and panache. Plus, I was promised a sweet case of cerveza for my time. This is pretty much the quickest way to get me to do anything

Well, I’m going to need that cerveza now, if only to drink until I gain some sort of short-term amnesia (which is pretty much what happens every time I drink but ‘m digressing), as if there’s one thing this series is; it’s terrible.

Let me state this again, so I’m being clear. The Zorro television show, starring Duncan Regher, is the most mind-bogglingly stupid show ever produced! It has plots so poorly conceived, characters so pitifully portrayed, and such racist overtones running through out it, that I’m pretty sure it could be used as a form of torture in Mexico. It has quite possibly ruined the name of Zorro in my mind, and if anything I was pro-Zorro before this experience. If you want to see the intellectual equivalent of a mule’s retarded offspring between it and an inebriated television writer, this is it folks!

Well, mostly anyway. It does have a couple of good points. Uh, let’s see; well there’s the show’s awesomely cheesy opening theme song which must have called in a favor from the great theme songwriters of the eighties, cause man, they just don’t make them like this anymore. Also, there is some decent swordplay once every few episodes, so I’ll grant them that, but except for that, this thing can only serve as an object lesson on how not to plot an adventure show.

I mean, I’m not even sure where to begin describing this monstrosity. You know what, how about this? How about I share some of this with you? Yeah, screw it, we’re going to delve into the madness that is Zorro, by breaking down the first episode of the series,”Dead Men Tell No Tales”. My only suggestion is to do what I’m about to, pour yourself some tequila, and drink along as you read.

It eases the pain.

I apologize now to you all.

Written by Phillip John Taylor and directed by Ron Satlof; we open our action-adventure yarn (which again, was how they introduced this series) with . . . a guy looking at the moon through a telescope – in a cave? Um OK. He’s also in the company of a young, overly excited boy, who the mustachioed man addresses as Felipe. Other than that, we have no idea who this is, or any other introduction, but I’m going to assume this is our hero? OK, wait, maybe it’s the villain, I mean after all, who else would spend their alone time at night with young boys?

Notice how happy he is to teach this boy who to properly hold a long, hard, cylindrical object.

So the creepy pedophile guy, who does turn out to be Zorro by the way, starts talking about visiting the moon, and the mute kid Felipe (played thanklessly by Juan Diego Botto) just gives him weird looks, until the amateur astronomer spots something in the distance: a rider at night! We see the rider through the scope, then cut to . . . an interior location that’s fairly non descript, and a woman answering a door to the same mysterious rider. She gives him a shocked look and  . . . fade to commercial break.

I’m very surprised to see actual guests at my hotel! Let’s milk this non-suspense a little more shall we?

Really? I mean, so far, if you had been watching at home you would have seen the show’s credits sequence which has all sorts of fighting and adventuring stuff going on, then this? I mean, come on! It’s about a swordfighter folks! Sure he can be a nerd too, I mean a lot of vigilantes are, look at Spider-Man, but you probably shouldn’t make the big dramatic break of your first act some broad opening a door with absolutely zero context.

Anyways, turns out the lady, whose name ends up being Victoria (played by Patrice Camhi Martinez), is running a tavern/hotel, and the rider, is looking for a place to stay the night. How compelling. I mean he’s kind of a dick about it, but other than that, it’s really nothing out of the ordinary. Until the next morning, when she opens the door with his breakfast (not at dawn as he requested by the way) and discovers him murdered, a bloody dagger on the floor. She screams and like an idiot, picks up the bloody dagger, and so we cut to the town’s constable who rushes in to her aid after hearing her yelp of terror. The constable, one Sergeant Mendoza, despite seeing the shocked look on her face and as we later find out, knowing Victoria for years, doesn’t begin an investigation, but immediately assumes she killed this man, and locks her up in jail without a moment’s hesitation. Naturally.

Sherlock Holmes Mendoza ain’t. Also, he really must not trust his friends very much.

Let’s take a moment to look at Mendoza and Victoria shall we? They’re easily the two most “ethnic” actors on the show, and both end up turning out to be horrible sketches of bad Mexican stereotypes. Mendoza (played by James Victor) is kind of pudgy (which in TV Land means he’s horribly fat), lazy, always hungry or napping and never really wants to do his job very well because it gets in the way of his sleeping and eating. Oh and he’s the “comic relief” of the show. While there are the occasional funny moments throughout Zorro, I’m pretty sure absolutely none of them ever have anything to do with Victor’s hammy attempts at being the series’ Bucktooth stand in.

Victoria on the other hand, is the actress we get to be Zorro’s love interest. She’s noble and hardworking, and pious, often saying that she’s praying for the other characters when they’re about to do something dangerous. She’s also a complete idiot, perhaps greater even than Mendoza, since at some point pretty much every episode she encounters Zorro. He’ll talk to her from about a foot away, and then she encounters his alter ego Don Diego de la Vega, about ten minutes later and she can never put two and two together. EVER.

While we’re on it, let’s discuss this problem and Zorro’s actor Duncan Regehr. You see, Zorro, like many masked vigilantes that came later (and he predates both Batman and The Shadow, so pretty much all of them) has the classic dramatic trope that comes with the territory: having a secret identity. The problem in this show though, is that it would be fucking impossible not to know that Diego is Zorro after at most, two appearances. Partly because in the time period of the show, Los Angeles where it takes place, is a really small town with most likely only a thousand residents, and the other problem is the casting.

Regehr is just two damn heroic looking not to notice! He’s a foot taller than everyone else in the cast and in his civilian garb is always wearing form-fitting outfits that pretty much outline his athletic physique. He has a distinct voice and diction, which he doesn’t change between identities and his mask doesn’t hide his eyes, nor his impressive jaw line at all. The excuse that the other characters are supposed to buy is that, like with Bruce Wayne, Don Diego’s personality is supposedly so unlike Zorro’s that people would think it impossible. But Regehr can really only play one character or must have had a nobility clause in his contract or something, so Diego ends up talking and acting heroically all the damn time, and the contrived reasons that the writers have him spouting to justify his absences when Zorro’s around are just miserable excuses . . . of excuses.

Look at the guy, he’s just too dreamy not to be Zorro.

Back to the episode, Diego hears of Victoria’s arrest from his father Alejandro (Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.) after leaving the hidden door to his homosex- I mean secret life- I mean vigilante lifestyle cave wide open in his piano room where they discuss this turn of events. His father doesn’t notice this hidden door, nor remark on it, and yet again, we’re supposed to buy that Diego’s pops doesn’t know his son is Zorro.

Hurried mistake, or is Diego trying to leave “subtle” hints about his alternative lifestyle?

So Diego tries to play up his ineffectualness and bring a basket of food to Victoria rather than plead her cause. It might work, other than that he drugs the one item of food he psychically predicts Sgt. Mendoza will steal and eat upon the gate inspection, so that the captain of the city guard gets the runs, all so he can have a few more minutes questioning Victoria. Subtle move there hotshot.

Because when you don’t know what else to do- go with toilet humor!

Diego only learns that the dead man’s belongings are with the Alcade (which is sort of like a mayor/judge), which again, is knowledge didn’t need to poison someone to glean. So he waits till the cover of dark and as Zorro, sneaks into the Alcade’s office but it’s all in vain, since it’s a trap. The Alcade has Zorro dead to rights with two pistols(!) but of course, Zorro defeats him handily and leaves his infamous “Z” on his desk before escaping in an action sequence that can at best be described as uninspired, but I’d call a raging pile of horse manure choreographed by a cerebral palsy victim anyway.

The Alcade is the show’s heavy by the way, and as the episodes go on, proves to be the main reason to watch this at all. Played by Michael Tylo, giving his best Walter Peck (from Ghostbusters) impression for the first two seasons, he’s eventually replaced after a hilarious death sequence where he actually screams “I should have known betteeerrr!”, and most of the show’s bemusement withers into trepidation afterwards. He’s also ludicrously evil and ineffectual in any given episode, in manners that are so far beyond sensible given the scale of the series that it boggles the mind. In a later episode, he steals the town’s water supply and charges the residents for it! Again, these are the people he already rules and taxes unjustly, yet this kind of dick behavior is of an apparently acceptable tolerance level for the residents of Los Angeles aside from the de la Vegas.

The Alcade’s pretty inhuman, but apparently the show’s staff thinks Mexicans are too lazy to do anything for themselves aside from praying that Zorro will stop him some how.

So Zorro gets his evidence, a torn piece of the dead man’s shirt, and puts it in some sort of . . . stuff that turns green, and Felipe poisons Mendoza needlessly yet again while bringing Victoria more food. The Alcade kicks the mute boy out of the room to tell Victoria that he’s hanging her in the morning on the already flimsy evidence, to which she just sort of shrugs like he told her that they were out of cornstarch, before it’s revealed (bum bum buuum) that the deceased traveler isn’t dead at all! In fact, the Alcade has lunch with the guy!

Like a boss.

Mendoza walks into the room, sees the guy he thought was dead, and then makes this face before fainting:

The man who played dead turns out to be an actor from Mexico City, and old friends with the Alcade, which I refuse to believe on the count of the Alcade being nothing but a boil of hate in the form of a man. I mean, if you shared a cab ride with this dude, he’d mug tell the driver to head to a shitty part of town, mug you, then shoot the driver before running off, just to mess with you. It turns out that all of this was an elaborate plot to ensnare Zorro, since the Alcade knows he’ll show up at Victoria’s execution, and Mendoza, upon hearing this, seems completely fine with the fact that a good friend of his (as we’ll see as the series goes on) could end up hanged completely unjustly as a part of all this.

OK. Hold the phone and let me get this straight. First off, Mendoza sure as shit wasn’t doing his job very well. I mean before you haul someone in for murder, you might want to you know, actually check to see if the victim’s actually dead. Secondly, the Alcade already runs the damn town, and Mendoza and his men always prove to be immensely loyal to him (for some reason that’s never explained) and his attempts at capturing Zorro. All he would have really needed to do here would be to trump up a charge on Victoria to put her in a cell; the whole dead guy/actor thing is completely unnecessary seeing as Victoria still knows she didn’t ice the dude regardless, and all the deception does is provide a clear out for her innocence if say, I don’t know, a known vigilante who has it in for him decides to investigate the matter, which he already knows he will!

Zorro shrugs at your logic!

So of course, Zorro/Diego does figure it out (something to do with the green shirt I guess) and captures the actor as he tries to flee the city. The capture’s a little awkward, as it seems a lot like Zorro’s coming on to the dude, and then we cut to the execution. Here, somehow Zorro sneaks both himself and the actor (who is unbound and could have run away at anytime) onto a rooftop to announce their presence to the townsfolk gathered below. They all act surprised when he appears despite this event occurring in the middle of the day, and the fact that Zorro’s wearing all black, which against both the skyline and the white of all of the town’s buildings, would make him stick out like a sore thumb.

So the writers seem to think Mexicans suffer from sort of brain hemorrhage that doesn’t allow them to see perfectly silhouetted figures. Or that Zorro can teleport between camera cuts or something.

How the hell did they miss him?!

So Zorro reveals the plot, the Alcade’s men make almost no attempt to stop him despite several moments where they have a clear line of fire and wouldn’t risk hurting a civilian (so there’s no real “action” sequence), and the both the townsfolk and Victoria seem fine with everything despite the fact that their leader has just committed a criminal conspiracy and tried to kill an upstanding citizen in the name of the law. Zorro also just leaves his telescope at the public square carelessly (he used it to distract Mendoza before he murdered Victoria), yet somehow Felipe recovered it and brought it back home. Why? So he can play a prank on the ol’ Diego by etching a Z into the lens so it seems he’s carved up the moon! Ha ha!

Telescopes aren’t cheap even in our time, and this mute kid just ruined one in the 1800’s. I’d be pissed.

That’s the opening episode of the series, and it serves as a perfect example of the kind of show this is. Every episode, every season. It keeps going on and on, never really improving. Sure there are a few standouts here or there, and the sword fighting occasionally has its moments, but for the most part, it’s a show made by idiots for people assuming the audience is full of like-minded individuals.

What’s especially depressing is the fact that the box set, though it doesn’t have features like commentary or a documentary, does have the show’s unaired pilot, and the original 1919 film starring Douglas Fairbanks, The Mark of Zorro. Watching this fairly long (for a silent film) little flick, you learn all of the 1990 recreation’s mistakes, and it’s sadly accurate moments.

Now Mark isn’t exactly the smartest film or anything, considering it seems like the world’s first crack at the “masked vigilante” genre, but it does a few things way more right than the show. Firstly, Fairbanks’ portrayal of Diego in his civilian life is far different than how he acts as Zorro, going very far in his own deception as a shiftless, drunken boor that most folks just can’t stand to be around unless he’s the one buying at the cantina. He even has the little mustache that Zorro wears be a fake mustache so that no one could identify him as Zorro due to his facial follicles, which makes WAY more sense! Zorro’s assistant is a manservant which is less creepy and he’s also way more of a badass: the actual “mark” of Zorro (that “Z”) isn’t just something he carves into people’s clothes- he carves it into people’s faces!

If you’re saying “Pics or it didn’t happen”, then there. It happened.

He also, and this is very unlike pretty much all later vigilantes, has an endgame. Zorro, especially since his original story is set when Mexico and California were under Spanish rule, is really a figure meant to inspire the populace to revolt, and lead them to this war. He’s got high ideals for sure, since he’s trying to do this bloodlessly (mostly), but his intentions are clear on this. Plus, by the end of the picture, he even ditches the Zorro identity and fights his enemies as Diego, in order to both win the heart of a lady, and to give the men under his command a face they can trust rather than just an shady masked man. You know, like a hero unafraid of standing by his convictions publicly. Besides, since Zorro does this to inspire, and not out of some disturbed psychological reason, he doesn’t seem like he reverts to the illusion completely, like one Mr. Wayne.

This is the key difference. Zorro was never meant to be a long standing vigilante, just a symbol to rally behind in order to throw off the yoke of oppression, and when that’s accomplished, discarded. This setup just doesn’t work in a “serialized at length” format like television. The villainy drafted in the original film is meant to be a breaking point, so when it becomes repetitious it’s ridiculous, and if the identity’s doesn’t last, then it’s easier to buy that people haven’t figured it out. Of course, this means the story has to end, and there’s less money in that, so now we have to deal with a new interpretation once a decade, to very mixed results.

Later vigilantes, especially Batman, would follow the Zorro mold and perfect it. They keep the rich playboy who secretly fights crime, as well as a love interest who can’t figure out the identity, and in Batman’s case, even the young boy he lives with. They usually ditch the whole “still living with his dad” thing though, which is probably for the best, but since they do, they always give the hero some daddy issues so he’s a bit crazy. This helps justify the longevity a bit more, since we can look at the tragedy as distinct cause of why they dress up in flamboyant clothing.

So in the end, I guess I actually learned something.

Thanks Geekscape for teaching me way more than I ever wanted to know about Zorro. I do mean ever, because I want the last week of my damn life back.

Or at least some more beer.

-Adam Thomas, signing out-

Probably the second best thing about living in the Los Angeles area is that, if you know where to look, there is ALWAYS a party or live show to go to, and failing that, a premiere. Living here isn’t like living in say, Bisbee Arizona, where the biggest unveiling to occur in the last four years was when the Kroger’s changed the labels on the canned peaches. The best thing? Probably all of the cheap drugs, and the models who will sleep with you for your cheap drugs.

And if not models, British butlers!

Anyway, I was talking about a party? Oh yeah! FX decided to unveil Archer season 2 and then conduct a little chat with the cast and crew last night at a fairly exclusive little shindig in the heart of Beverly Hills, and this Geekscapist was there, so now I get the honor of informing everyone about these goings on. Are you jealous? No? Oh. Well. I guess that’s good. But man, I really wanted to gloat. I needed that boost today.

This premiere was conducted at the Paley Center for Media, a fairly small, though not very innocuous building on Beverly Drive. The Paley Center (as they will inform you before they screen anything in a commercial featuring a very droning Ted Danson) is all about preserving anything and everything that has appeared on television and radio, which is actually kind of noble. Of course it just means that they are a collection of really rich geeks who have the world’s best collection of TV episodes in their attic (seriously they have a ton of lost footage of stuff), but they occasionally try to be cool and host stuff like this. Thanks Paley Center! I’ll stop plugging you now!

The place actually looks kind of like a bond villain base if you ask me.

So how was Archer? What was shown? Is H. Jon Benjamin actually a three headed dog living in an alternate dimension? 

Well they showed two episodes of season 2; the first episode, “Swiss Miss” premiering tonight (Thursday the 27th for those reading this in the future) on FX, and another episode from further along in the season “Pipeline Fever”. Both episodes were in holding with the tradition of the show, that is to say, bawdy excellence.

In “Swiss Miss”, we have Archer, Lana, and the rest of team ISIS attempting to recruit a German financier currently on a fantastic ski-vacation with his heiress daughter, who is a kidnapping target for a rival organization. She’s also wild about Archer, which would be fine . . . if she weren’t a tad underage, sexually speaking. Needless to say, hijinks ensue, faces are burned off, and there’s an unfortunate incident with a shaving kit.

And for once, Archer is trying NOT to stick his penis in something.

As for “Pipeline Fever”, we’re treated to a quick treatise on the ISIS staff and environmentalism, since the plot focuses on an eco-terrorist that Archer and Lana must stop in the Louisiana swamplands. Here Archer must contend with his three greatest fears, and Lana must contend with Archer’s love of imitating Burt Reynolds.  Plus we finally get to see a bit of one character’s past revealed . . . oooohh, juicy!

Both were fine episodes, though perhaps not the upcoming season’s best. In the Q&A which followed the screening, series creator Adam Reed hinted at plenty of highlights to come, especially in an episode that delves into the butler Woodhouse’s past. “You’ll find Woodhouse has killed more people than cigarettes” said Reed.

For the most part, the entire cast showed up for the Q&A, Adam Reed of course was there to dish, but along with him were H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer), Aisha Tyler (Lana Kane), Chris Parnell (Cyril Figgus), Judy Greer (Cheryl/Carol), George Coe (Woodhouse), and Amber Nash ( Pam Poovey). The only major cast member not in attendance was Jessica Walter, who plays Sterling’s mother Mallory, which of course afforded her co-stars a few jabs at her expense, especially when questioned about who needs the most direction in the recording studio.

She probably couldn’t show up because she had to “get into character” and down five martinis.

Aisha Tyler kind of stole the session from everyone else, reveling in anecdotes about debates with Reed over “ball-slappiest” or “ball-slappinest”, commenting on how much an afro-donning Lana resembles her mom during her “foxy” years, and how she first read for the show fully expecting that it would never get aired. In fact, both Judy Greer and George Coe echoed this sentiment, commenting that the likelihood of Archer getting picked up by a network seemed a bit ludicrous upon reading the initial script. Meanwhile, Chris Parnell seemed a bit bored, perhaps debating internally as to whether he should show up to any more of these functions, as no one really wants to know much about the accountant with 12 “reasons” to be a poon-hound.
Benjamin talked a little about being shocked to learn that a seven-year old was a fan of the show, and pretty much no one felt like their parents or children should ever indulge in the raunchy material held within. Reed also commented on the issues related to making Carol/Cheryl as disturbing as they possibly could, lamenting studio notes that asked for “weirder . . .darker”, when he felt making her a suffocation-fetishist was already a high watermark to rise above. Also, that the perfidious Conway Stern (not his real name) probably wouldn’t show up this season, but most likely would eventually, in a sort of revengerist league. Other than that, it was pretty much standard Q&A fare, and no one wanted to reveal too much, other than the fact that plenty of back story was upcoming for the upcoming season.
After that, it was standard Hollywood procedure: go into the lobby and get free hors d’œuvres and drinks from waiters way more attractive than you, mug for photos with the cast members brave enough to embrace the public, and schmooze with executives, writers, and actors as much as you can. Soon enough though, the whole shebang was over, and everyone was ushered outside while people debated which diner/strip club/safe house to go to and talk behind the backs about everyone they met but didn’t like, which is again . . . pretty standard in this town.

Standard parties for the character Archer include disapproving cross-dressing Irishmen.

 From watching the pair of episodes on display, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this upcoming season is probably going to be a bit better overall than the first. Of course, watching a show with lightning quick dialogue in a room of fifty people erupting into laughter every few seconds does make it tough to catch every joke, but it IS a good sign. At the very least, the show doesn’t seem to be suffering from a “sophomore slump”, and should at least equal the first.

So, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to be watching when this sucker premieres. If you haven’t caught up, I’m pretty sure you can view every episode for free over at the FX site (http://www.fxnetworks.com/#), and on Netflix, so catch up already and watch this thing! I say it’s about time for under appreciated spy comedies to get their due dammit!

Please watch, or Sterling’s going to give you his “disappointed and eating a pear” look again.

Anywho, this is Adam Thomas, Geekscape’s foremost society reporter (now anyway) signing off!

I’m sure it wasn’t Kate Micucci’s intention to punch me in the gut, but it happened. Micucci is half of the folk comedy duo Garfunkel & Oates. She’s been in numerous movie and television projects including Scrubs and the Kristen Bell vehicle When in Rome. If you’re unfamiliar with Micucci’s solo music endeavor’s she has the ability to write whimsical and sweet music that brings a smile to your face. Here’s the video for “Dear Deer”. I dare you not to grin at it’s cuteness.

Kate’s most recent solo project, EP Phone Home, continues her tradition of whimsy, but exposes a very earnest and heart warming voice. Passing on the comedy that makes Garfunkel and Oates so wonderful, EP is 5 songs designed to make you run the entire gamut of emotions. Which brings us back to the metaphorical punch in the Gut Ms. Micucci gave me.

I’m pretty sure I listened to these songs out of order now that I double checked the track listing on Amazon, but after a lovely first track called “Soup in the Woods”, I was prepared for a light and fun five track EP. Kate had other plans. The most moving song I’ve heard in a long time comes in the sound of “Taking Chances”. If there was ever a song that contained so much hope, regret, fondness, and honesty I have yet to hear it. Musically it’s not overly complicated, a simple melody with a lovely message and Kate’s no nonsense vocal styling, but something comes together in this song and it leaves you pretty raw. Like an old friend passing on sage advice the song makes you feel like you’re hearing from someone wiser than yourself, that has all the hope in the world for you. “Taking Chances” is the highlight of a very rich EP.

“Song for the Late Night People” comes on next and offers more hope and whimsy. Hope and whimsy is a recurring theme in Kate’s EP Phone Home. Kate even includes a wonderful ode to her dog called “For My Dog Jack”. It’s cute and every dog owner should hear it at some point. Then come the grins. The Happy Song is the most complicated track on the disc, but it’s also the shortest. An orchestra of sorts backs up Kate as she runs through a quick ditty about how great it feels to be in love.

Wrapping up the listening experience is I Have a Crush on My Teacher. After hearing it I re-listened to Ke$ha’s Mr. Watson. While Ke$ha made a song that sounds like she wants to sexually assault her teacher, Kate has written a more subtle and innocent tune. Closer in spirit to “Born to Late” by the Poni-Tails in 1958 than anything current, the song doesn’t make you feel gross for enjoying it. You hear that Ke$ha? Gross.

Between her sweet music and expressive art, Micucci amazing right brain is both impressive and endearing. Micucci’s music is heartfelt and fun. While it’s only five songs EP Phone Home is full of life, emotion and energy, and ultimately dissappointment that it isn’t longer. I highly recommend picking it up. Kate Micucci: EP Phone Home on Amazon

<h2>Geekscsape Games Writer Joshua Jackson</h2>
<p>2010 will probably go down as one of the best years this gaming generation offered. We saved the galaxy in Mass Effect 2, lived the life of an outlaw in Red Dead Redemption and let our imaginations run free, whether across the stars in Mario Galaxy 2 or the jungle in Donkey Kong Country Returns. But enough about those games, because you&rsquo;ve heard about them all year and are almost guaranteed to find these on every other list imaginable. No, this is where the gems step forward and take their credit. Some of these had very little marketing, some of them are targeted towards niche markets and some were ignored for little to no reason at all. So step forward lesser known games. It&rsquo;s your time to shine!</p>
<h2>10. Disney Guilty Party</h2>
<p>Remember when Disney games were a big deal? Well, this might be the publisher&rsquo;s second coming, with releases like the arcade racer Split/Second, Epic Mickey and Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep. But while these three had critical or commercial acclaim, Guilty Party snuck under the radar because of two dreaded words&hellip; &ldquo;Party Game.&rdquo; But what sets Guilty Party apart is the personality that oozes from every aspect of the presentation. Distinct characters in this family of detectives manages to capture the Disney charm without using a single established Disney character. The game itself has a co-op story mode to match the board game style competitive mode reminiscent of Clue, and somehow brings life into a genre that most would consider dead. Plus, it has a snazzy theme song!
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<h2>9. DeathSmiles</h2>
<p>So if there are two things that the Japanese love, it&rsquo;s underage girls in gothic lolita outfits and incredibly difficult games. DeathSmiles has you covered on both ends with a side scrolling shooter, (i.e. R-Type,) that manages to be pretty entertaining. Underneath the made outfits and short skirts, (besides a prison term,) is some of the most rewarding, yet difficult challenges you could find this year. Exclusively on the Xbox 360, it&rsquo;s a perfect way to get back into shooters, especially with villains like &ldquo;Jitterbug,&rdquo; and &ldquo;Giant Cow Mary&hellip;&rdquo;
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<h2>8. Sakura Wars: So Long My Love</h2>
<p>Sakura Wars&hellip; the name doesn&rsquo;t mean squat here, but in Japan, the game is a long running franchise, spawning anime spinoffs, merchandise and sequel upon sequel. Why didn&rsquo;t we get it until this title was quietly released in the summer? Because it&rsquo;s a dating sim. But it&rsquo;s not all about candy, flowers and convenient headaches. You play as the only male in an elite troupe of mech pilots who are the only thing standing in the way of New York&rsquo;s destruction thanks to a solid real time strategy element. It&rsquo;s one of the quirkier titles of the year, but how else am I gonna date cute anime girls?
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<h2>7. BlazBlue: Continuum Shift</h2>
<p>Super Street Fighter 4 wasn&rsquo;t the only fighting game follow-up to come out this year. While BlazBlue from Arc System Works, (of Guilty Gear fame,) created a splash last year with a unique and varied cast, this one wasn&rsquo;t as revolutionary since it wasn&rsquo;t as fresh. Still, Continuum Shift brought back its stellar online modes with rebalanced characters, three new fighters and another multi-hour story mode that breaks genre expectations by actually being good. Plus, if there was an award for 2010&rsquo;s best troll, the villainous Hazama would win by a landslide.
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<h2>6. No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle</h2>
<p>No More Heroes 2 was all we could ever ask for in a sequel. It took the faults of the original and corrected them, making a more well rounded game with fun, 8 bit mini games to go with the wacky storytelling that only Suda 51 could give us. The first one was never a huge success, and it&rsquo;s to be expected that a title about a perverted otaku with a lightsaber who constantly has to take a dump to save the game wouldn&rsquo;t exactly set the world on fire commercially, but what you will get is an over the top, (and overly violent,) action game that needs to be seen to be believed.
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<h2>5. Shantae: Risky&rsquo;s Revenge</h2>
<p>Finally, after over a decade, the long awaited sequel to Shantae was released as a DSi download, and the world rejoiced in its wonder&hellip; wait, what do you mean, &ldquo;What the hell is a Shantae?&rdquo; Risky&rsquo;s Revenge is quite possibly the greatest sequel that nobody heard of to continue the story of the best Game Boy Color game nobody ever heard of. As the genie Shantae, players platform, belly dance and transform into unspeakable creatures, (and by unspeakable I mean monkeys and elephants,) to fight the frisky pirate Risky Boots. Crazy dialogue, some innovative game play and a low asking price should be what gamers wish for this year, but for some reason, they didn’t.
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<h2>4. Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars</h2>
<p>When Capcom releases a Vs. game, people usually take notice. After about 10 years since the last proper tag team game in the series, Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom was released&hellip; and oddly ignored. The roster was more obscure with fighters like Rival Schools&rsquo; Batsu facing off against old school anime characters like members from the Gatchaman team, but the mechanics were improved from that &ldquo;other&rdquo; Vs. game in every way. Someone at Capcom must have realized this since it seems that Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 is using many of the mechanics, graphics and animations from this bastard stepchild of the series. So if you want a preview of MvC3 and a solid fighting game, get over your Wii phobia and pick this up. Based on early impressions, they’re practically the same game anyway…
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<h2>3. Cave Story</h2>
<p>Not all indy games can get a world of hype like Limbo and Super Meat Boy, especially when it&rsquo;s released on the Wii&hellip; *cough.* While Cave Story already had a cult following thanks to its free release on the PC a few years back, gamers still left this WiiWare title in the dark when it came to actually paying for it. That was a huge mistake, because while the trend of retro remakes and new 8-bit games is in full gear, Cave Story is truly one of the best. Think Metroid with it&rsquo;s big, intricate map and heavy focus on action platforming and replaces aliens with evil mutated bunnies. The difference is that people actually played Metroid, but Cave Story is just as good in its own right. Not bad for a development team of one person&hellip;
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<h2>2. Vanquish</h2>
<p>Platinum Games has to be used to getting ignored by now. Even a title like Bayonetta with its intense action and scantily clad witches couldn&rsquo;t break into the mainstream when it was released in January. But their second game this year was almost completely ignored despite being so good, (that’ll happen when you’re released two weeks away from a new Call of Duty.) Vanquish takes the Gears of War style 3rd Person Shooter and flips it on its head. Jets from the knees, jets from the feet and jets from the back let you take on enemies in style and manages to make a shooter that&rsquo;s about way more than point and shoot. And most importantly, it reminds us that smoking is cool, but only when distracting killer mechs.
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<h2>1. Sin and Punishment: Star Successor</h2>
<p>For the last few years, gamers have been begging for Nintendo to meet their needs and bring out games meant for the hardcore gamer. They delivered big with the release of Sin and Punishment: Star Successor from the shooter gods that are Treasure, (Gunstar Heroes, Ikaruga.) In response, the gaming community responded with a resounding, &ldquo;We want more cooking games!&rdquo; because even with free Nintendo Points with a preorder, the game failed to make a splash. But that doesn&rsquo;t mean this sequel to the Japanese classic isn&rsquo;t great. No no&hellip; it&rsquo;s quite the opposite. Fast, frantic shooting, tough as nails bosses and an overall awesome experience makes it one of the finest games this year.
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<h2>Honorable Mention: A Game I&rsquo;d Rather Forget</h2>
<h2>King of Fighters: Sky Stage</h2>
<p>Sometimes, mishmashing genres that have no business being together can create wonderful results. King of Fighters: Sky Stage is not one of them. Whoever thought of creating a game like Raiden or 1942 with the likes of Terry Bogard who can suddenly fly and shoot mysterious beams out of his broad, manly chest must have been desperate for a new release. The absurdity of the game puts it on a level all its own, and has to be the biggest WTF release of the year. But that&rsquo;s fair, it&rsquo;s not like King of Fighters doesn&rsquo;t run in semi annual installments&hellip; wait&hellip;
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So 2010 might be remembered for cowboys and flying plumbers, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean there isn&rsquo;t a place for the &ldquo;other&rdquo; games. This year was great for the unique titles that never quite find their footing in the upper echelon of gaming, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean they&rsquo;re not worthy of your attention. Hell, you have everything you could ever ask for, a good mystery, a date, anime, humor, space marines with jet boots&hellip; the only things missing are a budget and promotion. So here&rsquo;s to you, great games that aren&rsquo;t big budget sequels with millions of dollars to blow and a full on orchestra. You aren&rsquo;t completely forgotten&hellip; until Uncharted 3 comes out.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Jonathan’s 2010 Best Games (He Played)</h2>
<h2>1. Red Dead Redemption</h2>
<p>The only game I have ever 100-percented in my life… and an enormous game to do it with! Red Dead Redemption took everything that was incredible about my beloved GTA franchise and made it even better. Amazing visuals, solid controls and a sprawling world that players could get lost in make this the best Rockstar Games release to date. Everything that annoyed me about the GTA games (and there wasn’t much) were now gone. The hilarious characters and engaging missions almost took a backseat to just riding around on your horse and hunting animals. And the multiplayer experience and add ons trounce anything that Rockstar has provided in the past.</p>
<p>
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<h2>2. Mario Galaxy 2</h2>
<p>As awesome as the original Mario Galaxy was, Mario Galaxy 2 picks up right where it left off… and we’re talking about difficulty too! I was so pleased to discover that the second game gave players one world in which to play catch up before throwing them into worlds that were as challenging and as creatively mind bending as the final levels of Mario Galaxy 1! And the two player option, which Walton and I have been piecing threw, is more fun than it is frustrating… but only barely (which leaves us coming back for more, seeing if we can finally perfect each challenge)!</p>
<p>
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<h2>3. Super Meat Boy</h2>
<p>Enough has been said about this incredible platformer and thumb-wreckingly challenging but addicting game. Throw my name onto the list of fans heaping praise on this flash game made huge. From music to level design to humor, this is a perfect title.</p>
<p>
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<h2>4. Monkey Island 2 SE</h2>
<p>For the second year in a row, the boys at Lucasarts have taken one of my childhood’s perfect games and given it the pristine remastering that makes my adult self’s mind melt. This is like rediscovering an old childhood memory and having it redirected by Stephen Spielberg. It’s just the way we always wished to remember it! One of my top 5 games of all time, re-giftwrapped and made fresh. Thank you!</p>
<p>
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<h2>5. Cave Story</h2>
<p>If Super Meat Boy is the platformer that made XBL and PC owners crazy this year, then Cave Story’s rerelease on the Wii is what made Wii owners insane. Taking the best parts of games like Metroid and Shadow Complex and making them cute and A HELL OF A LOT HARDER, Cave Story gave us Wii owners an enormous title and reason to tell the rest of the gaming community “what do you mean, the Wii doesn’t have challenging games?” This game is addictive, platforming torture wrapped in a colorful bow (with multiple unlockable endings just to make it even worse).</p>
<p>
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<h2>Games I Didn’t Get a Chance To Play (But Wanted To):</h2>
<p>God of War 3, 3D Dot Heroes, Donkey Kong Country Returns, NBA Jam, Professor Layton and the Unwound Future, Metroid Other M</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>WILLIAM BIBBIANI&rsquo;S TOP TEN VIDEOGAMES OF 2010:</h2>
<p>Well fuck. I&rsquo;ve been reviewing videogames all year, from Bayonetta to WWE Smackdown! vs. Raw 2011, but there have been several marquee titles (Mass Effect 2 and Dead Rising 2 among them) that I just haven&rsquo;t had a chance to play yet so putting together a definitive &ldquo;Top Ten&rdquo; just wouldn&rsquo;t feel right&hellip; &ldquo;Journalistic Integrity&rdquo; and all that rot. So this isn&rsquo;t a list of the best videogames of 2010, it&rsquo;s just a list of the most awesome games I was able to play. Most of them have serious flaws, but then hey, so does your Mom. And you still love your Mom, right?</p>
<h2>1. HEAVY RAIN (PlayStation 3)</h2>
<p>
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<p>Bibbiani’s<a href=”http://calitreview.com/7203″> Heavy Rain Review </a>on California Literary Review</p>
<p>Heavy Rain was the best game-type product you could interact with on a console system this year. But is it a videogame? Well, that&rsquo;s up for debate. In this PlayStation 3 exclusive you find yourself in pursuit of &ldquo;The Origami Killer,&rdquo; who kidnaps children and drowns them days later, leaving only a folded paper curio in their wake. Over the course of the game the player adopts the persona of a father who&rsquo;s son may be the next victim, an ex-cop who&rsquo;s always one step behind the murderer, a mysterious woman who befriends the prime suspect and a detective with a drug addiction and virtual reality forensics equipment. One or more of the playable characters may be the murderer, and depending on your actions none of them are guaranteed to survive until the end of the story.</p>
<p>Heavy Rain uses the oft-criticized &ldquo;QuickTime Event&rdquo; mechanic to exceptional effect, and the result is an interactive narrative that doesn&rsquo;t feel like a typical videogame. There isn&rsquo;t a simple series of objectives to overcome, nor are there obvious rewards. You do things or you don&rsquo;t, and those choices have consequences. It&rsquo;s one of the most emotional experiences you&rsquo;ll ever play, and dramatizes simple events like caring for a baby or bonding with your son just as dramatically as sequences that find your protagonists forced to cut off pieces of their own body. On more than one occasion the suspense was so palpable that I found myself turning the game off rather than dealing with the pressure of making difficult, life-altering decisions. The plot&hellip; is rather ridiculous, and the voice-acting often feels alien, but the effect is alluringly dreamlike.</p>
<p>Playing Heavy Rain is a lot like living through the best Dario Argento movie never filmed. Is Heavy Rain a game? Maybe not, but it couldn&rsquo;t matter less. Playing through Heavy Rain was one of the most memorable artistic experiences I had in 2010, and I couldn&rsquo;t recommend it more highly.</p>
<h2>2. CASTLEVANIA: LORDS OF SHADOW (Xbox 360 &amp; PlayStation 3)</h2>
<p>
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One thing you can&rsquo;t say about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is that it&rsquo;s &ldquo;original.&rdquo; Practically every aspect of this prequel/reboot of the classic Castlevania franchise feels cribbed from other games, from Shadow of the Colossus to God of War. It&rsquo;s sometimes distracting, but unlike most games of its ilk Castlevania: Lords of Shadow succeeds at almost all of them. The controls are exceptional, the game looks fucking gorgeous and despite its 20-hour run time it never runs out of ideas. New gameplay mechanics, antagonists and plot points are introduced right up until the final levels, which is particularly impressive since many of even the greatest videogames tend to drop the ball towards the end. And let&rsquo;s go back a bit: In an era when best-selling games barely offer a 6-hour single-player campaign, the new Castlevania offers 20 hours of gameplay for the same price, and it&rsquo;s great the entire way through. I loved this game.</p>
<h2>3. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD: THE GAME (Xbox Live Arcade &amp; PlayStation Network)</h2>
<p>
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Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game is a beat-&lsquo;em-up, pure and simple. It just happens to be one of the best beat-&lsquo;em-ups I&rsquo;ve ever played. Beautifully designed by Paul Robertson (the guy behind the epic Pirate Baby Cabana Battle 2006) with music by the God-awesome Anamanaguchi, you take control of Scott Pilgrim or one of his many friends as you beat the holy hell out of evil ex-boyfriends, evil ex-girlfriends, robots, and random Canadian thugs in one inspired level after another. The controls are perfect and the level-up elements add surprising depth. It&rsquo;s a shame that there&rsquo;s no online multiplayer, but if you&rsquo;re one of those lucky people who have friends that are actually willing to be in the same room with you, multiplayer games don&rsquo;t get a lot better.</p>
<h2>4. ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK (AdultSwim.com)</h2>
<p>There isn&rsquo;t a single game I&rsquo;ve played more often in 2010 than Robot Unicorn Attack. Play it for 30 seconds and you&rsquo;ll understand why. It&rsquo;s one of those perpetual side-scrollers where your character &ndash; in this case a robot unicorn &ndash; constantly moves from left to right and your control is limited to jumping over obstacles and dashing as necessary. Your speed steadily increases, upping the difficulty constantly. Failure results in a startling and surprisingly gruesome explosion that punishes you just enough to make you want to try again, just to show this game &ldquo;what for.&rdquo; Add in &ldquo;Always&rdquo; by Erasure &ndash; the best song choice in any videogame all year (a hell of a lot better than &ldquo;Fly Me To The Moon&rdquo; in Bayonetta, that&rsquo;s for goddamned sure) &ndash; and you have the most addictive game of 2010. Small pleasures&hellip; Who could deny us these? Click <a href=”http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html”> here </a> to go to the game, or you can play it on Facebook</p>
<h2>5. FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 &amp; Microsoft Windows)</h2>
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<p>Fallout: New Vegas is a hell of a lot like Fallout 3. After all, they use the same engine. But although the game isn&rsquo;t exactly fresh as a daisy it takes the highly successful Fallout 3 game mechanics and uses them to tell a new and surprisingly rich story with role-playing elements that can&rsquo;t be boiled down to being the &ldquo;Good Guy&rdquo; or the &ldquo;Bad Guy.&rdquo; You&rsquo;ll be forced to make decisions that negatively affect characters you&rsquo;ve grown to like no matter what path you take, and that leads to an impressively complex game that somehow takes as much as 60 hours to complete and still makes you want to play it all over again just to see what could happen instead. Add in the insane survival mode (in which you actually need to eat, sleep and drink just to keep your character alive) and you&rsquo;re left with a game that&rsquo;s the equal &ndash; and arguably superior &ndash; to its predecessor. If only it wasn&rsquo;t buggy as shit this would be higher on the list.</p>
<h2>6. RED DEAD REDEMPTION (Xbox 360 &amp; PlayStation 3)</h2>
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<p>William Bibbiani’s <a title=”Review of Red Dead Redemption” href=”http://calitreview.com/9163″>Review of Red Dead Redemption</a> at the Calfornia Lit Review</p>
<p>I don&rsquo;t care how much you love Red Dead Redemption &ndash; I love it too, incidentally &ndash; but you have to admit this thing has some flaws. It opens too slowly, its villains are poorly characterized and every time you choose to act like a psychotic bastard it feels like you&rsquo;re playing the wrong game. And yet Red Dead Redemption is so fucking awesome that these complaints only explain why it didn&rsquo;t crack the top five. Great storylines, exceptional controls and a wry sense of humor make this follow-up to my beloved Red Dead Revolver well worth the wait. I haven&rsquo;t had the chance to play the Undead Nightmare DLC yet, so just cut me some damned slack.</p>
<h2>7. LIMBO (Xbox Live Arcade)</h2>
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<p>What more is there to be said about LIMBO? This smart and atmospheric side-scroller follows a bigheaded little boy as he traipses through a nightmare world that is trying desperately to murder him or at least shove parasitic worms in his skull was a brief but memorable highlight in the world of downloadable gaming in 2010. I&rsquo;m not sure it&rsquo;s as deep as it appears to be, and it transitions awkwardly from a bug-laden monster game to a dedicated physics puzzler with machine guns, but it&rsquo;s full of clever set pieces and never completely disappoints. Great game.</p>
<h2>8. MATT HAZARD: BLOOD BATH AND BEYOND (Xbox Live Arcade &amp; PlayStation Network)</h2>
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<p>The original Matt Hazard videogame was so critically panned that I &ndash; like most of you &ndash; never bothered playing it. But this short-and-sweet side-scrolling sequel is one of the best surprises of the year. Fictional videogame hero Matt Hazard (read: more fictional than usual) is forced to go back in time to all of his &ldquo;classic&rdquo; games in order to prevent the bad guys from erasing him from the timestream. Each level cleverly parodies one or more videogames, from Super Mario Bros. &amp; Team Fortress 2 (together) to Bioshock, and each level plays like a really great reboot of the Contra series. Unloved and unnoticed, Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond deserves a second look from everyone who thought they had better things to play. They probably didn&rsquo;t.</p>
<h2>9. DEATHSPANK (Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, Microsoft Windows &amp; Mac OS X)</h2>
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<p>William Bibbiani’s <a href=”http://calitreview.com/10588″>Deathspank Review</a> on the California Literary Review</p>
<p>Ron Gilbert&rsquo;s laugh-out-loud hilarious RPG action/adventure game follows stalwart hero DeathSpank as he traverses an odd cylindrical-shaped universe killing monsters and expressing as much frustration as the player does about all his stupid sidequests. But at least those fetch quests are overtly stupid. I can&rsquo;t remember the last time I had to avoid being raped by unicorns while trying to salvage their poop, but it was probably quite a little while ago. The game is filled with highly unnecessary inventory items and isn&rsquo;t quite smart enough to actually fix all the ridiculous RPG conventions it lampoons, but it&rsquo;s a witty and surprisingly long downloadable game that&rsquo;s worth every penny if you&rsquo;re into this sort of thing.</p>
<h2>10. DANTE&rsquo;S INFERNO (Xbox 360 &amp; PlayStation 3)</h2>
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<p>William Bibbiani’s <a href=”http://calitreview.com/6665″>Dante’s Inferno Review</a> on the California Literary ReviewLINK:&nbsp;</p>
<p>Dante&rsquo;s Inferno took a lot of flack for its ill-advised, radically over-the-top advertising campaign and its unabashed fealty to the God of War franchise. And both of those observations are fair, but it&rsquo;s actually pretty damned good as GoW clones go. The game plays great, adapts the world of Dante Alighieri very successfully into a series of distinctive gaming environments and boasts an impressively well-conceived original storyline about a hero going to hell because he actually deserves to and then genuinely earning his own redemption. There&rsquo;s a level towards the end that fucking stinks (which abandons the absorbing storyline in favor of a Fourth Wall-breaking series of silly challenge rooms) but Dante&rsquo;s Inferno never really deserved its bad rap. This is a solid game that deserves credit for doing what it does very, very well.</p>
<h2>HONORABLE MENTIONS:</h2>
<p>Click on the links to read Bibbiani’s thoughts on the games in detail.</p>
<p><a href=”http://blog.machinima.com/insidegaming/2010/12/18/bomberman-live-battlefest-review/”>BOMBERMAN LIVE: BATTLEFEST</a> (more of the same, but the same totally rocks)</p>
<p><a href=”../../../william-bibbiani-reviews-lara-croft-and-the-guardian-of-light.html”>LARA CROFT AND THE GUARDIAN OF LIGHT</a> (horribly written but very fun in spite of it)</p>
<p><a href=”http://calitreview.com/10280″>MONKEY ISLAND 2: LECHUCK&rsquo;S REVENGE SPECIAL EDITION</a> (brilliant game, only left off the list because it&rsquo;s a re-release)</p>
<p>PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE UNWOUND FUTURE (only barely nudged off the Top Ten)</p>
<p><a href=”../../../william-bibbiani-reviews-puzzle-quest-2.html”>PUZZLE QUEST 2</a> (it&rsquo;s like crack: it&rsquo;s not good for you but it sure is entertaining)</p>
<p><a href=”../../../geekscape-reviews-rock-band-3.html”>ROCK BAND 3</a> (every problem with the franchise they solved is replaced by a new one, but the new instruments are awesome if you can afford them)&nbsp;</p>
<h2>And now&hellip;  WILLIAM BIBBIANI&rsquo;S WORST GAMES OF 2010:</h2>
<p>TIE: <a href=”http://calitreview.com/11279″>MAFIA 2</a> (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 &amp; Microsoft Windows) &amp; <a href=”http://blog.machinima.com/reviews/2010/10/15/quantum-theory-review/”>QUANTUM THEORY</a> (Xbox 360 &amp; PlayStation 3)</p>
<p>There were some bad, bad games in 2010, and as a critic I was simply unable to avoid all of them. But as lame as Eat Them! and Dark Void were, only two games succeeded in righteously pissing me off. Mafia 2 managed to squeak by with mostly positive reviews, but I&rsquo;m not entirely sure what game everyone else was playing. This barely competent third-person shooter suffered from one of the most derivative storylines I encountered in any medium all year (the Marmaduke movie was fairly creative by comparison), and pretended to be a sandbox game when in fact the only gameplay element that developer 2K Czech successfully implemented from that genre was having to drive everywhere yourself while listening to morons talk the whole time. They effectively turned a mediocre 6 hour game into an abysmal 10 hour game. As I wrote in my review: &ldquo;Mafia 2 is about as bad as games get without actually suffering from incompetence.&rdquo; I stand by that statement now.</p>
<p>In contrast, Quantum Theory was just plain old-fashioned bad. It&rsquo;s a complete mess of a game with an impenetrable storyline, hammy acting, poor controls, ugly graphics and a bizarre tendency to cut away mid-action to a close-up of heads exploding. But unlike the Fallout series&rsquo; &ldquo;VATS&rdquo; system, you have no control over when this happens so if you do somehow manage to get wrapped up in Quantum Theory&rsquo;s gameplay it doesn&rsquo;t last because the flow breaks more often than Adolfo &ldquo;Shabba-Doo&rdquo; Quinones in Electric Boogaloo. One of these days you&rsquo;ll find a copy of Quantum Theory in a bargain bin for one dollar. You&rsquo;ll recognize it because it will burn to the touch&hellip; and it will be overpriced.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Walton’s Favorites of 2010</h2>
<h2>#10 The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom</h2>
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<p>Playing a pie thief caught in a temporal vortex is a hoot. Reminiscent of Braid, you have to use your ability to clone yourself and manipulate time to right your misdeeds in what boils down to a bed time story via video game. Of all the XBLA titles getting hyped this year, The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom deserves a mention.</p>
<h2>#9 Super Mario Crossover</h2>
<p>Play Super Mario Bros. as Samus?! Hell Yeah. The novel concept of revisiting classic games as different characters is so simple, yet could have easily been screwed up. This game is perfect for the 8 bit fan in all of us.</p>
<h2>#8 Robot Unicorn Attack</h2>
<p>Easy to figure out, not difficult but challenging. Addictive song and fun visuals that remind you of a bad ass version of a jr. high trapper keeper. I find myself playing this whenever I just need to reboot my brain.</p>
<h2>#7 Scott Plgrim Vs The World</h2>
<p>This brawler did a remarkable job of bringing Scott Pilgrim to life, while not feeling like a retread of all the other Pilgrim propoganda that was floating around. The difficulty on such a straight forward brawler was great and encourages you to seek out partners to come over and play. The lack of online coop was a serious oversight but the game is still fun if you have to play by your lonesome, just a lot tougher.</p>
<h2>#6 Bio Shock 2</h2>
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<p>While it may not have the shock value of the twist in the original Bio Shock, Bio Shock 2 was still an engaging title. While it was bogged down with issues, the sequel impresses as you reencounter Rapture. The Big Sisters are fun to square off against and I found the lecel you play as a little sister, both disturbing and oddly satisfying.</p>
<h2>#5 Super Mario Galaxy 2</h2>
<p>I love this game. It’s gorgeous, addictive, and fun; and I have yet to even play as Mario. As Jonathan says above, we’re working through the two player game together and I’m playing Mario’s little star buddy. The game reinvents what coop has to be in games.</p>
<h2>#4 Bayonetta</h2>
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<p>What a strange, frustrating, and slightly deranged game. I love it. This game was so strange and unhinged I couldn’t stop playing, the combo system is repetitive and awful, but the flashiness and speed of the game made it very hard to put down. Also of interest was the graphicly correct depictions of the types of angels in the game. They designed them completely based off of biblical descriptions. Creepy and awesome.</p>
<h2>#3 Dead Rising Case Zero</h2>
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<p>I didn’t get around to playing Dead Rising 2 in full this year. It’s the first game I’m tackling in the new year, but this little gem of a demo was incredibly fun and packed full of game for it’s $5.00 price tag. You can read my full review here,insert link.</p>
<h2>#2 Super Meat Boy</h2>
<p>If you don’t have it, buy it. Every one is in agreement, it is the best puzzle/platformer of the year.</p>
<h2>#1 Mass Effect 2</h2>
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<p>While some of the RPG elements went away for a more actiony approach, this hybrid title from Bioware was still the most engrossing and entertaining game of the year. Building up your teams ranks and then completing loyalty missions was a great way to really make you care about the characters under your command. The engrossing storyline and rich characters make this one must play game.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Matt Kelly’s nearly pointless contribution to the conversation</h2>
<p>I&rsquo;ve never been much of a gamer, in fact the newest video game system I own is a Super Nintendo. However, I have friends who love video games and I often attend &ldquo;Game Nights&rdquo;. So I&rsquo;m going to bend the rules, instead of the top 10 video games of 2010, I decided to let you into the wonderful world of Matt Kelly with the top 10 games I played this year (both video and board).</p>
<p>10. Zombies Ate My Neighbors &ndash; This year my brother and I have spent countless hours attempting to FINALLY beat Zombies Ate My Neighbors in one sitting. Sadly, we have nothing to show for our efforts except for stronger teamwork skills</p>
<p>9. Scattergories &ndash; I&rsquo;m the fucking master of Scattergories, I&rsquo;ll call anyone out any day of the week to a game, sadly, I&rsquo;m too good, so much that this game has been retired from all game nights with my friends on account of it being &ldquo;unfair&rdquo; to play me (aka Matt makes up Shit too frequently)</p>
<p>8. Rock Band 2 &ndash; The entire Cast of the forth coming Saint Mort Show (look for it in early January) and I have been playing rock band together for 2 years. One day we need to set up a camera and video tape a performance of &ldquo;Handful of Dong&rdquo; so you can see us rocking out. Mic twirling, synchronized jumps, and dry humping each other, it&rsquo;s truly a spectacle worth watching.</p>
<p>7. Apple to Apples &ndash; I&rsquo;m pretty good at Apples to Apples (but not to my Scattergories level of mastery) so this game is still played at Game Nights. For those of your not familiar with it, it&rsquo;s designed for young kids, but somehow became a vulgar game for College kids and beyond.</p>
<p>6. Leonard Maltin Game &ndash; Ever since discovering this game on Doug Loves Movies, I&rsquo;m always trying to get a game going at parties&hellip; if I&rsquo;m ever successful, I&rsquo;ll be sure to write about it.</p>
<p>5. Carnival (Wii) &ndash; This completely ridiculous Wii game has captured my imagination (and that of my friends). What could be more fun than going to the Carnival? Just playing the carnival games from the safety of your home (far from where carnies can attack you). For roughly $20, this Wii game managed to keep my entertained for HOURS while I partook in such games such as mini-golf and shooting range.</p>
<p>4. Risk &ndash; While I haven&rsquo;t played this as much as I used too, Risk Nights are always Grand nights full of anger and friendship deterioration. The secret is build your armies in Australia and then attack when your friends are at their weakest, the only down side is this plan can take upwards to three hours before you&rsquo;re ready</p>
<p>3. Bejeweled Blitz &ndash; While I mock my friends who find themselves wrapped up in games like Farmville and Mafia Wars on Facebook, I have spent almost every waking moment that I&rsquo;m not at work playing Bejeweled Blitz. I get angry at the so-called friends on my buddy list with the audacity to have a higher score than I week after week and have even considered defriending them just to make sure I get the highest score&hellip; I have issues</p>
<p>2. Phase 10 &ndash; There was a steady point where I was playing Phase 10 almost every week. It&rsquo;s always been a game I loved despite not knowing many people who&rsquo;ve ever heard of it. It&rsquo;s the delightful combination of Uno and Rummy. Much like Risk, friendship can be destroyed after a long game of this. Backstabbing is among the rules</p>
<p>1. Dungeons &amp; Dragons &ndash; 2010 will be the year I rediscovered my love of Dungeons and Dragons. The games were documented and while our campaign is now over, I&rsquo;ll always fondly remember the adventures of Mort the Magician.</p>
<p>WORST VIDEO GAME I PLAYED THIS YEAR: JUST THE TIP &ndash; while it&rsquo;s fun game if you&rsquo;re giving the tip&hellip; I discovered this year how creepy it is to be on the receiving end of Just the Tip</p>

<p>A lot of people referred to 2010 as a thin year for film. Looking back, I think a lot of those people were just disappointed that Iron Man 2 didn’t make them as crazy as Iron Man 1 and that summer tentpoles like Knight and Day, The Last Airbender, The A-Team and more fell with a thud. On top of that, Oscar buzz movies didn’t really fill the screens until mid-December. Maybe the lack of surprises (and the lack of Avatar) is what made this year look thin in retrospect. The truth is, I had a tough time writing my list. Good films like Inception, The Fighter, Scott Pilgrim and Despicable Me were pushed out and movies that I really enjoyed such as The Karate Kid remake and even the sillier than a tank of Sea Monkeys A-Team and Expendables didn’t stand a chance. Looking back, I think most people will agree that 2010 was a pretty diverse year that had a lot to offer (even if Iron Man 2 was too much of a mixed, over-cramped bag for even the most faithful of us). To help us remember 2010 for what it truly was, here’s what the Geekscape movie experts thought was worth remembering:</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Jonathan London</h2>
<h2>10. The Crazies</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/lEMZwQulT1Q?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>This is what the multiplex was built for! A horror movie where the main characters are acting logically and still barely staying ahead of the increasing number of enemies at their heels! This was about as fun a ride as you could have hoped for in 2010. Every B-list video game and comic book adaptation should take note. This is how you make the A-list (as Stephen Norrington and Guillermo del Toro showed us with the first 2 Blade films).</p>
<h2>9. Leaves of Grass</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/1a5QepEU390?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>The only movie from SXSW that stayed with me. It’s a shame that this movie didn’t get some form of theatrical release. You really should Netflix it right away. Tim Blake Nelson wrote and directed a movie that should have been on most critics lists and Ed Norton gives TWO performances that each would have been on everyone’s lists as well. As technically impressive as the Armie Hammer doubling in The Social Network… but with much different character acting and carried through the entire film (and on a fraction of the budget). You really owe it to yourself to see this film.</p>
<h2>8. The Town</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/bWxEKnf3Krk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>Ben’s my boy. He made a solid as hell movie with kick ass performances and a well written script. He’s 2 for 2. I hope you are happy with the way you treated him now, America! So the guy wanted to make some action flicks. Who doesn’t!?! Luckily for us, he is now delivering action flicks of his own, complete with intrigue, layered character work, solid narratives and emotion.</p>
<h2>7. The Social Network</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/lB95KLmpLR4?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>Technically impressive on so many levels, both visually and structurally. This is just a solid film all around. I wish I had cared more about the story and most of the characters but I couldn’t help but enjoy myself as I watched the events unfold. All of the fat that was present in the slower Zodiac was gone and all of the character remained.</p>
<h2>6. How to Train Your Dragon</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/oKiYuIsPxYk?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>This was the most pleasant surprise of the year. I wasn’t expecting anything from this movie opening weekend and it turned out to be a perfect animated film. It was tough putting this one below Toy Story 3, and sentiment may have been the deciding factor. As the years go on, I think we’ll all remember this movie as fondly.</p>
<h2>5. Toy Story 3</h2>
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<p>I’d only be redundantly repeating past writers’ opinions in talking about how special this movie was. It was great to see old friends again… and the places they have gone.</p>
<h2>4. The King’s Speech</h2>
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<p>James Franco has company for best male performance of the year… but it comes from two distinct performances in Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. And this is the best original script of the year. Just watching these two actors go back and forth would be enough to make this movie one of the best of each of their stellar careers. As precise as their performances are, the writing and the visuals are just as carefully calculated. Everything in this movie works as it evolves beyond engaging and into an edge of your seat experience… and it’s a story about learning how not to stutter!</p>
<h2>3. Black Swan</h2>
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<p>I’ll be the millionth person to call this the best horror film of the year. Natalie Portman gives the best performance of her career and takes her career to an even higher level (just in time to be in an Ashton Kutcher romantic comedy). As painful as the characters actions were to watch at times, it was exhilarating to see them captured in this way (and they were pretty strictly captured… and tortured… and tossed around).</p>
<h2>2. True Grit</h2>
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<p>The best adapted script of the year (and probably best script overall). I can’t heap enough praise on the amazing characters and performances in this film. Everyone is on their A-game. Every character is clear cut, fleshed out and jarringly different. The scope of the movie is grand even if it’s told simply and economically. Each moment of this film is a celebration of the medium and they come with such ease that you’re willing to follow each one to the next even as they begin to careen further and further out of control. This was a fantastic ride.</p>
<h2>1. 127 Hours</h2>
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<p>The best movie I’ve seen in years. Every second of this film is squeezed for maximum effect. James Franco gives the best performance of the year, and I know this because my parents love him and thought his character was a self-important and reckless jerk (which is what gets him into trouble in the first place). No movie this year tackled larger themes on as large a scale and Boyle did it by using a relentless and perfect blend of sound and images to put one man’s struggle for life and discovery of profound perspective under an excruciating microscope. I’ll be shaken and inspired by this film forever.</p>
<h2>Best Time At The Movies While Leaving My Brain At Home: Skyline
<p>I’m guessing that this is how everyone but me felt about Cloverfield.There is nothing great (or maybe even good) about this movie. But the characters don’t act (completely) dumb (as they constantly did in Cloverfield) and these are some of the coolest and most daunting aliens I’ve ever seen in a movie (you can’t beat them off with a shoe like they did in Cloverfield). Will Smith wouldn’t last too long in this SyFy Original-style movie brought to the big screen. It was ridiculous… but leave your brain at home and sugar up before you take your seat.</p>
</h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Ivan Kander</h2>
<h2>Catfish</h2>
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<p>If the Social Network depicts the creation of our current online culture, Catfish forces us to&mdash;if I may use a tired phrase&mdash;reap what we sow. It&rsquo;s a movie about a young photographer who forms a relationship with a woman through facebook. As the relationship grows, our intrepid hero (and the audience) realizes that something isn&rsquo;t quite right with his mysterious cyber sweetie, Megan.&nbsp; And, therein lies the rub. There&rsquo;s a lot of hoopla about the movie&rsquo;s &ldquo;twist&rdquo; regarding Megan&rsquo;s true identity, but clever marketing aside, it&rsquo;s not really the point&mdash;at least not for me. This is movie about the consequences of defining ourselves through pixels&mdash;through the online personas we create. And, no, the irony is not lost on me that you are in fact reading this through the hallowed fiction of cyberspace. With the advent of the public-facing nature of the internet, everyone is essentially a celebrity. Our photos&hellip;our thoughts&hellip;our lives&mdash;all of it is exposed to the world like we&rsquo;re all stars in our own network reality series. Catfish simply shows us this fact in narrative form. I hesitate to call it a movie for our time, for with our fleeting attention spans, perhaps it&rsquo;s best described as a movie for the time before your browser refreshes.</p>
<h2>Exit Through the Gift Shop</h2>
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<p>I recently caught up with Exit Through the Gift Shop, a documentary about graffiti and street artists that made waves at this year&rsquo;s Sundance Film Festival.&nbsp; Very rarely does hype ever live up to final product (see this year&rsquo;s critical darling Winter&rsquo;s Bone), but Exit manages to not only meet expectations&mdash;it exceeds them. Like the very concept of street art, it&rsquo;s a difficult movie to describe in a quick logline. Essentially, it follows hapless French filmmaker Thierry Guetta and his search to locate and befriend the notorious street artist Banksy. What results is a meta, &ldquo;is-this-actually-real?&rdquo; journey through the nocturnal world of street artists and the cities that are their canvases. This alone would be interesting fodder for a film, but things really begin to ramp up as Gift Shop transforms into an active dissection of that age-old collegiate question: what defines art? (you can stop rolling your eyes now)</p>
<p>The movie is bold, fast-paced, and hilarious. Equally impressive, it made me think (as in actively ponder things) more than any other movie I saw this year. In our current society, now more than ever, it&rsquo;s easier to create art. In response, Banksy seems to be asking, what defines actual ability in a world where everyone has it? Or, more to the point, in a world where no one can tell the difference?</p>
<h2>Easy A</h2>
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<p>John Hughes may have invented the high school movie. But, its stuff like Easy A that reinterprets the genre for a new generation. Ripping a page from the acidic wit of Tina Fey&rsquo;s Mean Girls, Easy A is a modern high school fairy tale&mdash;the sort of story that abounds with high school cliques and clich&eacute;s that ultimately, through sharp writing and acting, manages to defy them. Emma Stone is adorable as a lead character who pretends to be a slut for social and financial gain. The rest of the supporting players are equally as well played, with especially rousing bit performances from Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson. Easy A may not reinvent the wheel, but it&rsquo;s a high school vehicle that is sure as hell fun to take for a ride.</p>
<h2>True Grit</h2>
<p>I&rsquo;ll admit, there was a time when I didn&rsquo;t necessarily &ldquo;get &ldquo; the Coen brothers. Or, maybe it was that I just didn&rsquo;t get what there was to get. As my movie tastes grow, I&rsquo;ve realized that the Coens are essentially budding linguists&mdash;two very talented men that love language and love the varying ways that different people use it.&nbsp; From the accents of Fargo North Dakota to the southern dialects in Raising Arizona, the Coens craft tales where speech itself is the star. That&rsquo;s not to say they don&rsquo;t also get the rest of the details right. With True Grit, they&rsquo;re firing on all cylinders.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s a western that is as thrilling, beautiful, and suspenseful as it is funny. Amidst it all&mdash;stemming from the spectacular performances of Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, and newcomer Hailee Steinfeld&mdash;is that glorious attention to dialect.&nbsp; I guess it&rsquo;s easy to say that Coens that are at the top of their cinematic game. But, really, is that a fair assertion when really they&rsquo;re the ones who keep on defining the rules.</p>
<h2>The Kids Are All Right</h2>
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<p>The setup is pure indy-comedy quirk: two kids from a same-sex couple are out to find their biological father. Shenanigans ensue. But, there&rsquo;s more&hellip;so much more. Lisa Cholodenko&rsquo;s smart family comedy, The Kids Are All Right, takes what could have been strictly a gimmick and turns it into a story that is touching and real. Both character and plot development get equal screen time here, and the strong cast of female leads breaks Hollywood convention. The writing is well-paced and witty, but really, the movie shines when it takes a step back to analyze what makes a family&mdash;for lack of a better word&mdash;a family. With this heartfelt realization, Cholodenko may have actually made this year&rsquo;s most commercial, audience-friendly film. That is, lesbian moms aside.</p>
<h2>How to Train Your Dragon</h2>
<p>It&rsquo;s unfortunate that in the world of animated movies Pixar always seems to get the critical acclaim while Dreamworks gets the short end of the proverbial stick.&nbsp; While Toy Story 3 was fantastic (see below), so was Dreamworks equally impressive offering, How to Train your Dragon.&nbsp; Stocked with lush visuals, fantastic set pieces, and solid voice acting, How to Train Your Dragon is a thrilling example of great storytelling combined with flawless animation. But, what really makes the film fly? The connection between a boy and his first pet, which in this case, is an adorable dragon named Toothless.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s this relationship that drives the movie to a personal place&mdash;one filled with equal parts honest sentiment and nostalgia. Now, if only I could adopt my own dragon&hellip;</p>
<h2>Toy Story 3</h2>
<p>Oh, right, Pixar&hellip;so can they ever screw up? Seriously, I imagine Pixar Animation Studios to be an enchanted place filled with sparkles, love, and unicorns. This year, much like before, the lauded magic factory delivers yet another masterpiece, Toy Story 3. Yes, I said it. A masterpiece.&nbsp; Although it may never have been originally conceptualized as a trilogy, the Toy Story series is representative of how far character development and storytelling can go when properties are in the right creative hands. From Andy&rsquo;s youth to his eventual departure for college, our journey with Woody, Buzz, and the gang is as fantastic as it is heartfelt&mdash;a story that honestly depicts the fleeting nature of youth in combination with grown-up ideas like loyalty and companionship. And, it does all this through the eyes of plastic toys. Now that ladies and gents, is truly magic.</p>
<h2>127 Hours</h2>
<p>Sure&hellip;on the surface it&rsquo;s one of those ripped from a headline stories that Hollywood loves to churn out year after year. But, this one&rsquo;s different. 127 Hours&mdash;the filmic adaptation of real life hiker Aron Ralston&rsquo;s harrowing journey of survival and eventual life affirmation breaks the mold of typical Hollywood melodrama. We may have seen these themes on screen before, just not done this damn well (at least not in my recent memory). You could attribute the movie&rsquo;s success to Danny Boyle&rsquo;s lively visuals and James Franco&rsquo;s amazing performance, but really this movie works because of its simple, solitary premise&mdash;not, as some would have you believe&mdash;in spite of it. It&rsquo;s about a boy and his rock, and, in turn, every little detail is escalated from the mundane to the extraordinary: the stream of sunlight in Ralston&rsquo;s dimly lit cave&hellip;the drops of water resting in his canteen&hellip;the stretch of one&rsquo;s leg to reach the object that is just a bit too far out of reach. And, as the film reaches its inevitable conclusion, all you can think about is how these little things&mdash;these normally overlooked objects and moments&mdash;make life worth living.</p>
<h2>Inception</h2>
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<p>If Chris Nolan pioneered the thinking man&rsquo;s blockbuster with the Dark Knight and the Prestige, he has refined it with Inception. It&rsquo;s the rare sort of movie that manages to give it&rsquo;s audience equal dose spectacle and head-scratching mythos, all while keeping the whole production moving at a frantic pace. This is urgent filmmaking by a modern filmmaker, obsessed with the layers and puzzles hidden inside our mind. And, damn is it fun to watch. In our current era of Hollywood-moviemaking, where huge budgets are synonymous with sequels and super heroes, Inception proves that big, bold innovation can still bring in the dollars, and more importantly, the goods.&nbsp; BRAAAMM!</p>
<h2>The Social Network</h2>
<p>The creation of a website shouldn&rsquo;t be interesting. It just shouldn&rsquo;t be. Neither should legal briefings or closed-door depositions. Or, college dorm life and copyright legality for that matter. But, in the Social Network they just are.&nbsp; With the facebook movie (as it&rsquo;s been affectionately dubbed) director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin, have delivered a film that feels as epic as the Godfather. Fincher is at the top of his visual game here. So is Jesse Eisenberg with his portrayal of facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.&nbsp; But, as much I enjoy all of these things&mdash;as much as I relish the machine-gun paced, one-upmanship dialogue from Sorkin, the Social Network really shines in the moments of silence. As we watch young Mark Zuckerberg stroll through Harvard Square on a cold winter night, we are given the inclination of a mind hard at work&mdash;he&rsquo;s a kid so far separated from the rest of us that he just may be the only person capable of virtually connecting us. Think about that&hellip;about how the connections we make nowadays can be terminated with the simple change of a relationship status. Or, in the case of The Social Network, a billion dollar lawsuit. The story that both Fincher and Sorkin are telling here may not necessarily all be true, but what they&rsquo;re saying about our generation and human nature most definitely is.</p>
<h2>WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR</h2>
<h2>The American</h2>
<p>Sure, technically, there were probably worse movies to hit theaters this year. But, there&rsquo;s something about the American&mdash;with its faux-intelligent &ldquo;artsy&rdquo; pandering&mdash;that just pisses me off. On the surface it&rsquo;s a slow-burn espionage thriller starring George Clooney that harkens back to vintage paranoia thrillers of the 70s. In reality, it&rsquo;s just boring. Really boring. I&rsquo;m talking five minute long takes of the Italian countryside boring.&nbsp; Amidst all the dullness and ponderous pacing, we get George Clooney mugging lonesome for the camera. A tortured hitman? How ingenious! The American is the type of movie that gives smaller, sparce films a bad name. It&rsquo;s fulfilling a sort of &ldquo;art-film&rdquo; stereotype, complete with gratuitous, awkward sex scenes and long takes of people sitting and doing nothing. Clash of the Titans and Prince of Persia may have been dumber theatrical experiences this year, but at least they had the courtesy to not pretend to be smart.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Eric Diaz</h2>
<h2>#5.The Black Swan</h2>
<p>It is a disservice to call this film either a psychological thriller or a horror movie or an art film&hellip;because it all of those things and none of them. Darren Aronofsky&rsquo;s direction is stellar as usual, but it is Natalie Portman&rsquo;s performance that makes this movie&nbsp;what it is.&nbsp;Portman has been competent to good in some movies (V for Vendetta, Garden State) and terrible in others (a certain trilogy that shall remain nameless) But it is here in the Black Swan that she shows the world what she can really do, and I was blown away. In my book, it is Natalie Portman&rsquo;s Oscar to lose in 2011.</p>
<h2>#4.TIE! Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World/Kick Ass</h2>
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<p>Two unconventional comic book movies make this one a tie. Although both based on comics, neither could be more different from each other, and neither made much of a splash at the box office either sadly, assuring that more unconventional and lesser known comic book properties will have a hard time making it into theaters in the future. But we&rsquo;ll always have our DVD&rsquo;s and Blu Rays of these two wonderful flicks forever.</p>
<h2>#3. The Social Network</h2>
<p>Who knew the founding of&nbsp; Facebook could create sooo much drama, and make for such a tight and brilliant film too? Well, apparently David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin did when they optioned the book The Accidental Millionaires, but to the rest of us the notion of a movie about Facebook seemed pretty un exciting. I mean, we all spend enough time on the damn thing, who wants to see a movie about it too right?</p>
<p>Apparently, we all did. Fincher and Sorkin managed to create real dramatic tension out of something I once thought was best saved for a History Channel special. Trent Reznor&rsquo;s score was equally brilliant, and I can&rsquo;t believe I&rsquo;m saying this, but I hope Justin Timberlake win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor this year. Only time will tell if The Social Network truly is the movie that represents the current generation, but my gut tells me it will be.</p>
<h2>#2. Inception</h2>
<p>Christopher Nolan&rsquo;s film about the perfect dream heist (or rather, perfect dream planting )&nbsp; is part Nightmare on Elm St,part Ocean&rsquo;s 11, and part Shutter Island (but totally better) The rare thinking man&rsquo;s action movie that did the rare thing of pleasing both the audience AND critics alike. While there was some fanboy hyperbole saying Inception was the greatest movie ever made when it came out, and of course, it totally isn&rsquo;t&hellip;.that doesn&rsquo;t mean it isn&rsquo;t pretty damn impressive.</p>
<h2>#1. Toy Story 3</h2>
<p>I really, really wanted to give the #1 slot to Inception or The Social Network, if only because those were original films and not sequels, but in good conscience I just couldn&rsquo;t. The Best movie of 2010 was a threequel of all things. But Toy Story 3 did just about everything right, from acting to pacing to action sequences to eliciting genuine emotion at the finale.&nbsp; Not to mention the animation, but this is Pixar so that goes without saying.&nbsp; Pixar proves that being the third in a series does not mean you need to suck. In fact, it means you can surpass all expectations and have an instant classic instead.</p>
<h2>Worst Movie:</h2>
<h2>A Nightmare on Elm Street</h2>
<p>Despite some wonky acting and an ultra low budget, the original Nightmare remains a true horror classic that still holds up today. The real villain of the original movie wasn&rsquo;t just Freddy Krueger, but also the parents of the children. In this new version, the parents are barely present as to not matter, therefore missing the whole point of what the original film was trying to be about (aside from, you&nbsp;know, blood and guts and stuff) Let&nbsp;us just say that Robert Englund&rsquo;s place of honor as THE Freddy Krueger is secure.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Matt Kelly</h2>
<h2>10. The Lost Skeleton Returns</h2>
<p>The original Lost Skeleton of Cadavera has always been one of my favorite films. It managed to be a lovable homage to the shitty-sci-fi movies of the 50&rsquo;s instead of a direct Parody. The whole cast and crew returned for this fun and bizarre sequel. Much like the original, if you didn&rsquo;t grow up watching movies like this with your parents (or grandparents) than it&rsquo;s just a dumb movie, however if you are familiar with the subject matter, you&rsquo;re truly in for a treat.</p>
<h2>9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1</h2>
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<p>I&rsquo;ve always been quite disappointed with Harry Potter the movie series. I love the books, I love the fandom, I even love the Wizard Rock Groups&hellip; but the movies just always failed to deliver. I didn&rsquo;t hate the films, but they just never lived up to how great the books were (A frequent complaint about any adaptation); however, but dividing the 800 page Deathly Hollows into two movies we&rsquo;ve come closer to matching the book than ever before. Every Cast Member is on top of their game this time, the cinematography is top notch and it ends wonderfully with a feeling of dread; it took 7 movies to get here, but this is Harry Potters &ldquo;Empire&rdquo;</p>
<h2>8. Never Sleep Again</h2>
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<p>2010 is a year where I really fell in love with documentaries; this is the first of 3 documentaries to make my list. Never Sleep Again was a direct to DVD documentary about the making of the Nightmare on Elm Street Series (not the first film; all 8 movies with Freddy) and runs somewhere in the 3 and a half hours range. I&rsquo;ve watched this documentary at least 3 times. It&rsquo;s completely fascinating and enthralling. What makes this documentary so outstanding however is do to it being independently made no one is holding back. When they think Dream Child was a pile of Shit&hellip; they straight up say it is. Furthermore this documentary will go down as the first time cast members opening admit that &ldquo;yeah, Freddy&rsquo;s Revenge is a giant Gay Metaphor&rdquo;.</p>
<h2>7. Hot Tub Time Machine</h2>
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<p>Hot Tub Time Machine is not a perfect movie, it&rsquo;s not even a perfect comedy but it&rsquo;s still extremely delightful. It&rsquo;s a movie without its faults; for starters there are a few &ldquo;Gross-out&rdquo; comedy moments that feel forced; but beyond that it&rsquo;s a fresh 80&rsquo;s coming of age comedy throw back that&rsquo;s fun and creative. Is it dumb? Yeah. But what were you expecting from a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine in the first place?</p>
<h2>6. Star Wars Uncut</h2>
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<p>This year saw the release of the interview movie &ldquo;Star Wars: Uncut&rdquo;. The film is a lovingly remake of Star Wars: A New Hope done shot by shot but literally hundreds of film makers around the world recreating the film 15 second scenes at a time. Are there some rough spots? Yes. But the creativity runs at an all time highs at moments. If you ever wanted to see an S&amp;M animated C3PO or Claymation recreations one of the best sci-fi movies of all time; look no further.</p>
<h2>5. Inception</h2>
<p>The Zero-Gravity Hotel Fight Sequence was the first &ldquo;holy shit&rdquo; moment I&rsquo;ve had watching a movie since the Slowed Down Bullets in The Matrix. Christopher Nolan is a great writer/director and makes some of the best-flawed films of all time. This movie just completely&nbsp; throws a concept at us, with no explanation and just expects us to pick it up and follow along and I absolutely love it for having the balls to leave us very confused.</p>
<h2>4. The Rise and Fall of Five Iron Frenzy</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/34y8bsMYYvY?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>Five Iron Frenzy has been my favorite band for over a decade. I&rsquo;ve seen them live at least 8 times and was greatly upset when they broke up. For years this DVD was in the talks and I waited with bayed breath. I assumed I&rsquo;d be getting a collection of live footage. I wasn&rsquo;t prepared for the 3 hours of interviews and the full story of the band. I learned things&nbsp; that I never knew in all the years of loving this band. This is a story about a Christian Band stuck with a title that they possibly didn&rsquo;t want. They deal with members losing faith, losing family members and losing friendships. This is the story of a band too secular for Christian Audiences and too Christian for Mainstream Radio. It&rsquo;s a very interesting (but long) story</p>
<h2>3. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World</h2>
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<p>Despite it&rsquo;s disappointing box-office, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World is ultimate geek movie of the year and one of the best geek films of all time. Everything in this movie is cast perfectly, the direction is great, the visuals are excellent; there&rsquo;s very little to dislike. This was the only film I saw multiple times in theaters and with good reason, it&rsquo;s a fun and fast paced movie and it&rsquo;s fun to share with friends. While the Box-Office wasn&rsquo;t there, the cult following it&rsquo;s sure to develop over the next few years is somewhere out there.</p>
<h2>2. Toy Story 3</h2>
<p>Admit it, you cried like a bitch while watching this movie; multiple times, I know I did. Pixar is an unstoppable movie company. It says a lot when you&rsquo;re watching a G rated kids movie and you sincerely don&rsquo;t know if characters will be killed or not. That&rsquo;s the type of tension this movie creates. If you&rsquo;ve seen this movie, you know why this is here, if you haven&rsquo;t seen it&hellip; get on that shit.</p>
<h2>1. Best Worst Movie</h2>
<p><embed type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”580″ height=”385″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/5tFgZ6DmXmw?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true”></embed></p>
<p>Any serious b-horror movie enthusiast is aware of the utter and amazing levels of shittiness that&rsquo;s Troll 2. Best Worst Movie is a documentary about the actors and filmmaker involved in making the one of the worst movies ever made. The levels of character development you witness in this movie are incredible. We see the actors who went on to have normal lives as dentists, musicians or continue acting; others who are legitimately insane not to mention a director who still believes the film is a masterpiece. It&rsquo;s a documentary about fandom. It&rsquo;s about people who discover something they&rsquo;ve always been ashamed of is actually beloved by others. It&rsquo;s touching watching them meet their fans, but at times its tragic and other times it&rsquo;s simply hilarious. (I am aware that technically the movie was released in 2009 but it never got a huge release and was a pain in the balls to find&hellip; as far as I&rsquo;m concerned it&rsquo;s a 2010 movie).</p>
<h2>WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:</h2>
<p>The Last Airbender &ndash; this movie is a shining example of ignoring the source material to just tell the story that you want to tell under the guise of a beloved source material. Everything in this movie fails in every way possible.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Brian Walton’s Top 3 Movies No One Else Mentioned</h2>
<p>My top ten was full of movies other people brought up and summarized quite perfectly, so there’s no reason to beat you over the head with more of the same. Just no that as far as my colleagues entries are concerned, “I concur.” Here are the few movies no one else mentioned that I loved this year.</p>
<h2>3. She’s Out of My League</h2>
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<p>I love being surprised by movies I have low expectations for. We seem to put a low priority on romantic comedies nowadays, but She’s Out of My League was fun and charming. Few Films can be called charming lately, but League has it in spades.</p>
<h2>2. Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hool</h2>
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<p>Zack Snyder’s Owl movie is an adventurous, action filled 90 minutes. Toy Story 3 and How to Train Your Dragon are getting all the year end best of talk, but Legend of the Guardians was a solid film with some breathtaking visuals. It’s simpler than the others, but that doesn’t make it worse. Plus, Owls are fucking adorable.</p>
<h2>1. The People Vs George Lucas</h2>
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<p>Caught this at the LA Film Fest and expect it to get a real release next year. This documentary does a wonderful job of shifting it’s focus as to who it’s about. Is it about George Lucas ad the shame he brought to the Star Wars Saga, or is it about the fans, who can’t let go of their obsession? Brilliant balanced and paced. Yes, it features Jonathan, but it’s still worth watching.&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Worst – Cop Out</h2>
<p>We reviewed it on my first episode of Geekscape, and it is a horribly painful movie to watch. Unfunny, uninteresting, and uninventive. This movie is just un.</p>
<p>

<p>2010 was a pretty good year for geeks watching TV! Beyond Chuck getting renewed and brand new superhero shows hitting prime time, we had an explosive ending to Lost (at least on internet message board debates), the death of Caprica, the arrival of The Walking Dead, brand new animated comic book shows (Avengers on Disney XD is AMAZING) and mainstays like Dexter, Doctor Who and Being Human returning to the air. My yearly in take was pretty light. I was disappointed by the mixed back of the Lost finale, watched tons of Being Human and Mad Men and thought The Walking Dead started off strongly, spun its wheels and reset its course for a promising and unpredictable second season. Oh, and did I mention that Avengers on Disney XD is AMAAAAAZING!?!?! So let me step aside so that more qualified Geekscape personalities can take the stage with what they believed were the best TV offerings of 2010!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Week in Geek Writer Eric Diaz</h2>
<h2>#5. Project Runway</h2>
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<p>After the move from Bravo to Lifetime, I still watched Project Runway, but more out of force of habit than anything else. You pretty much knew who would win after, say, the second episode. But then this year, the capital D Drama was BACK. You had not one, but TWO villains in the forms of uber bitches Gretchen and Ivy, a lovable underdog in Michael Costello (I heart you Michael C!) and a winner everyone could get behind&hellip;who ended up not winning. (Mondo Guerra, you were ROBBED) Seriously, the best dramatic moments on tv went down on catwalk this year.</p>
<h2>#4. Glee</h2>
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<p>The second half of Glee&rsquo;s first season aired in the spring of 2010, and was as brilliant as the first half  in my honest opinion. So why is the show so low on the list? The first half of the second season came this close to totally fucking up everything that made Glee so great. WAY too many gimmick episodes (both the Britney Spears and Rocky Horror episodes were pretty damn lame) The show forgot plot and character and seemed to only be concerned with their itunes sales. But the last few episodes seemed to bring some of the old Glee magic back, and it seems Glee got their groove back just in the nick of time.</p>
<h2>#3. Dexter Season Five</h2>
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<p>The question after the previous season&rsquo;s game changing cliffhanger was &ldquo;how could Dexter ever top the last season?&rdquo; Well, they didn&rsquo;t&hellip;but, they also didn&rsquo;t fall flat on their face either. Michael C. Hall continues his brilliant evolution for Dexter from sociopath to actual human being in a convincing and believable way. At first I wasn&rsquo;t sure how I felt about the addition of Julia Styles&rsquo; character (a victim of a gang rape and torture group rescued by Dexter) to the series, but I ended the season thinking that her character was Dex&rsquo;s true soul mate in a way Rita never could be. Sadly, the show had a real opportunity for a few game changers at the end of the season, and totally pussied out on both of them.  The reason last season is remembered so fondly is because they had the balls to make drastic changes to Dexter Morgan&rsquo;s life, and this season just chose to play it safe, which is a shame. If not for that this show would have had a real slot at #1 on my list.</p>
<h2>#2. True Blood Season Three</h2>
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<p>Sure, there are better and more &ldquo;quality&rdquo; shows on television, but none are as addictive as the deliciously trashy True Blood. Season Three might have introduced way too many new characters, but when some of those new faces are awesome character actors like James Frain as psychotic vampire &ldquo;procurer&rdquo; Franklin Mott, and Denis O&rsquo;Hare as Vampire King  Russell Edgington, you give the show a pass. The plot of season three was admittedly all over the place, but it was the individual moments that make the show so much fun to watch, not the overall plot. Where else can you get Nazi Werewolves, gay vampire sex that ends in staking from behind, and a sex scene that ends with one person turning the head of their partner 180 degrees. True Blood remains tv&rsquo;s best carnival ride and sideshow.</p>
<h2>#1. Mad Men Season Four</h2>
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<p>Mad Men&rsquo;s previous season was good, but it was this season, as we jumped forward in time to 1965 and the offices of the newly minted Sterling/Cooper/Draper/Pryce ad agency that might have been the series&rsquo; best yet. Season four had so many awesome moments, from Don Draper brilliantly turning the loss of Lucky Strike Cigarettes from a crippling blow to a life saver for the company (he hopes) to Don&rsquo;s being a total idiot and proposing to his doe eyed much younger secretary.  Betty Draper unhinged into a bigger bitch than ever before, and Peggy Olsen got a backbone and even called Don out on his shit for the first time ever. (Could you even imagine the Peggy of season one doing that?) But even with the brilliant ensemble, the show is stolen each week by one Jon Hamm, who as Don Draper makes me believe that a brilliant business man and a delusional lothario controlled by his dick can co exist within the same brain from week to week.</p>
<h2>Worst: Lost</h2>
<p>When everyone else turned on Lost, say around season three, I stuck with it. I believed that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse knew exactly where they were going with their epic sci fi/fantasy/whatever saga. Man, was I wrong. As we got to the final episode, and nothing was really revealed, I realized that I&rsquo;d been had. &ldquo;This show was always really about the characters and their journey&rdquo; said the producers after the final episode aired. Uhhh&hellip;yeah, ok in part, but it was also a show where mysteries and questions were brought up in just about every episode, and not one was given a satisfactory answer in the end.  Not one. Instead, we got a beautiful and heartwarming trip down memory lane as long gone characters returned, and everyone hugged it out in heaven.  And I got emotional too, I&rsquo;ll admit&hellip;but then as the tears dried I realized we&rsquo;d all just been had.  For six years, we&rsquo;d been had. Fuck you Lost.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>News Editor Brian Walton</h2>
<h2>#10. Big Bang Theory</h2>
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<p>This show seems to be a lightning rod of controversy amongst geeks.I find it to be a hilarious and heart felt ode to our culture.</p>
<h2>#9. Smallville</h2>
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<p>As we continue further into the 10th and final season of Smallville, it continues to add more DC continuity into the mix. The renaissance of Smallville has been a pleasure to see as Clark and Lois Finally become Lois &amp; Clark.</p>
<h2>#8. Community</h2>
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<p>The most creatively funny and original comedy to come across the screen in ages. Abed and Troy are the greatest character duo to come to television in a very long time. The highlight was the amazingly creative Christmas special, which I’ve embedded above.</p>
<h2>#7. Chuck</h2>
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<p>The perpetually on the bubble Chuck has always been able to take risks, because every season has been a gift. It’s great to see that sense of nothing to lose isn’t going away just because it finally has a little job security, so to speak. The casting of Linda Hamilton as Chuck’s mom is brilliant and the above episode is a turning point in the season.</p>
<h2>#6.  Vampire Diaries</h2>
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<p>I was ready to hate on this show as a tired Twilight clone from day one, then I caught a marathon last year and had to eat my hate filled words. The Vampire Diaries is fun, sexy, entertaining and sharply witty. It has surprisingly more in common with Buffy the Vampire Slayer than Twilight the soul killer. Plus, Ian Somerhalder is massively entertaining in his role as Damon Salvatore, the unrepentant vampire brother.</p>
<h2>#5.  Son’s of Anarchy</h2>
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<p>If you aren’t watching this show, you are missing out on one of the most intense emotional roller coasters to ever broadcast on American TV. This past season saw the motorcycle gang with a heart of gold travel to Ireland to recover a kidnapped child and settle the score with an old nemesis.</p>
<h2>#4.  Justified</h2>
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<p>When Deadwood ended, people were very disappointed that they would no longer get their weekly dose of bad ass in Timothy Olyphant. The FX network was kind enough to find Mr. Olyphant a new vehicle for his brand of intense justice.</p>
<h2>#3.  The Walking Dead</h2>
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<p>The show had a hard time keeping up with it’s premise and pilot for the first six episodes. While a little off from it’s source material, the show is still one of the most dynamic dramas to air this year.</p>
<h2>#2.  The Good Wife</h2>
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<p>Go ahead, scratch your head, laugh and get it out of your system, but week in and week out The Good Wife is the most human and entertaining show on network TV. What seems like a movie of the week premise has developed into a compelling and earnest legal drama.</p>
<h2>#1.  Doctor Who</h2>
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<p>Matt Smith brings a little old school charm to the Doctor. Steven Moffat repurposing the show from adventuring couple/morose loner to more of a family dynamic has made this the most entertaining Doctor yet. Amelia Pond adds whimsy to the companion role and Matt Smith’s Doctor has a youthful yet mature nature.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Star Geekscape Co-host Ian Kerner</h2>
<h2>10) Justified</h2>
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<p>This show is awesome.  Timothy Olyphant (Hitman, Deadwood) is U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, with a classic Western’s attitude in a modern world.  Bad motherfucker.  The first season saw him forced back to his home town in Kentucky, where he had to deal with a criminal father, unresolved feelings with his ex-wife, and an old friend turned terrorist played by the great Walton Goggins (The Shield).</p>
<h2>9) COMMUNITY</h2>
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<p>Not enough of you are watching this brilliantly funny show.  You don’t need to have been watching all along, although I highly recommend watching the previous episodes.  Watch it.  You will laugh.</p>
<h2>8) LUTHER</h2>
<p>Another entry on this list from the BBC, this is anything but a typical cop show.  Idris Elba, who has done much acclaimed work here, stars as a recently returned to the force cop, with an estranged wife.  Yes, It does sound like a typical set up.  It is far from.  This deeply psychological thriller of a show is a really great ride.</p>
<h2>7) DOCTOR WHO</h2>
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<p>In it’s Fifth season, the show, in many ways feels like it has begun anew, with both a new lead Actor and new Head writer.  Neither disappointed.  The season was clever, intense, scary, and exciting.  It was everything we hope for in The Doctor.  The just aired annual Christmas special, while always good, was particularly exceptional.  Who would have thought yet another take on A Christmas Carol could feel so original.</p>
<h2>6) MAD MEN</h2>
<p>There’s a reason that this show keeps winning so many awards.  It’s just that good.  Every season seems to peel the layers of Don Draper even more.</p>
<h2>5) DEXTER</h2>
<p>Who would have thought that a show about a cold blooded serial killer could make us care so much?  This show is not afraid to take chances, as, surprisingly, the seemingly detached main character continues to evolve over the course of it’s run.</p>
<h2>4) BREAKING BAD</h2>
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<p>This show just continues to shock and awe.  It’s like nothing that has come before it.  This is really surprising, since the story of a High School chemistry teacher with cancer who starts making and selling meth to provide for his family before he dies seems like such a typical slice of Americana.  I don’t want to say too much here about the twists and turns the recently finished season 3 has taken, because this is a show that, if you aren’t already watching, you need to go out and rent from the beginning.</p>
<h2>3) LOST</h2>
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<p>It feels like something is missing from a Holiday season that doesn’t include counting down the days to the beginning of a new season of LOST.  A lot can be said about the final season of LOST.  Indeed, a lot has by many critics.   It’s ending will be debated endlessly.  What is not debateable is that it was Television at it’s finest.  Whether you were happy or not with the end, the ride was fantastic.</p>
<h2>2) FRINGE</h2>
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<p>In it’s third season, this show is firing on all cylinders.  The methodical layering of it’s mythology over the first two seasons is now paying off.  With the first half of the season over, one can only hope that the brilliant way the show managed to become two shows, alternating week to week between the different universes, can somehow be sustained.  While many fans fear that Fox’s moving of the show to Fridays is a death toll, Fox is certainly promoting it, and claims to be standing behind it.</p>
<h2>1) THE WALKING DEAD</h2>
<p>Fanboys everywhere had anxiously awaited this adaptation of the award winning comic book for years.  The adaptation somehow managed to go beyond the source material, delivering a truly enthalling depiction of humanity at both it’s best and worst.  Truly television at the top of it’s form.</p>

<p>The workplace sitcom has been trucking around for just about as long as television has been around. In fact I&rsquo;m pretty sure the day after Philo T Farnsworth perfected the first set, he received a telegram that read, &ldquo;TO INVENTOR OF TELEVISION STOP. I HAVE THIS GREAT IDEA STOP. WE SHOULD DO A SHOW ABOUT WHERE I WORK STOP! IT WILL BE GREAT STOP. IT IS CALLED QUOTE THE HABERDASHERY DIARIES ENDQUOTE WHAT DO YOU THINK STOP?&rdquo;</p>
<p>And so from <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>The Mary Tyler Moore Show</em> to <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Taxi</em>, and even into the nether realms of <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Suddenly Susan </em>(even if that show at least introduced the world to Richard Alpert), it shows no signs of stopping. So, when Adam Reed and Matt Thompson (of <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Space Ghost</em> and <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Sealab 2021</em> fame) began work on their next animated opus they used this standard setup as the basis. Then they added spies – who also are all flaming assholes – and hilarity ensued. Madcap, often very dark and far too clever for its own good hilarity, actually… so of course no one&rsquo;s watching the show. Sigh.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5010/5300465319_21c3f878c1.jpg” alt=”Frisky Dingo” width=”460″ height=”312″ /></p>
<p>No, not <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Frisky Dingo</em>, I&rsquo;m talking about <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Archer</em>, easily the funniest Adult Swim show you can catch, even if it&rsquo;s actually on FX. Set in an incredibly spy-centric universe and primarily at the New York offices of the very lackluster espionage agency ISIS (the acronym for the International Secret Intelligence Service – naturally), we&rsquo;re treated to the various misadventures of Agent Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin). He&rsquo;s the world&rsquo;s most dangerous spy, his code name is &ldquo;Duchess&rdquo; and he has serious problems; especially with his mother Mallory (Jessica Walter) who happens to run the place and his ex Lana (Aisha Tyler) who still begrudgingly works alongside him. Plus there&rsquo;s all the usual petty office politics on top of that, not to mention that Archer&rsquo;s biggest problem is also his greatest appeal to us at home: he&rsquo;s a total douche nozzle.</p>
<p>Wait: Handsome dark-haired protagonist who wears finely crafted suits, is more selfish than the Malfoy clan, acts like (and often is) an idiot while living a life of danger <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>and</em> in the lap of luxury? Plus he interacts with a huge assortment of other characters, most of whom hate him? OK yeah, you&rsquo;re forgiven for thinking this was <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Frisky Dingo</em>. But this new version of Xander Crews is voiced by Coach McGuirk from <em>Home Movies</em>. That&rsquo;s different… ish. Well, whatever works I suppose, because Archer (the character) is just damn funny.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><strong><img src=”http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5163/5300465483_29bda4bf9e_z.jpg” alt=”Archer Season One” width=”512″ height=”288″ /><br /></strong></p>
<p>Maybe it&rsquo;s because the show, or at least this first season anyway, despite having every episode include at least one insane Bond-movie plot device or parody, feels more restrained than Reed and Thompson&rsquo;s previous efforts (not a hard task actually). Episodes have a longer runtime, so characters and scenes get to breath a bit more and feel more natural while allowing for bigger comedic payoffs. Yet, the lightning fast banter that&rsquo;s full of so many jokes and references you&rsquo;ll probably need to re-watch episodes to get everything is still retained.</p>
<p>Plus, the show is easily the most self-aware piece of fiction I think I&rsquo;ve ever seen, at least this year. In the second episode, Archer gives Cyril a handgun that is literally a Chekov&rsquo;s Gun, yet the setup is all a red herring as a completely different awful event occurs without using the pistol. When Cyril says he thought he was safe because he assumed that if something were to happen, it would be with the obviously foreshadowed firearm, Archer contends that such thinking is presumptive and calls it a &ldquo;facile argument&rdquo;. This is smart stuff, and the show is littered with these moments as well as plenty of broader gags to appeal to those who don&rsquo;t want genre expectations subverted. I&rsquo;m not sure if it&rsquo;s a case where some studio meddling has actually been good or if the folks from Floyd County are getting better over time, but after watching the entire first season, it&rsquo;s obvious that <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Archer</em> is the best thing this team has made yet.</p>
<p>This is apparent in every portion of the show. The animation is better, even if it&rsquo;s still obviously digitally assisted stuff, the music is catchier, and the cast has a fair amount of star power. In addition to Benjamin and Walter, Chris Parnell of SNL fame plays comptroller Cyril Figgus and Judy Greer joins <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Arrested Development</em> alumni Walter as secretary Carol/Cheryl/Cristal . . . uh yeah, her name changes a lot, it&rsquo;s a bit odd. Benjamin is perfectly cast as Sterling, his excellent delivery and naturally funny voice allow for some lines to work when other voice actors would have fallen flat.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><strong><img src=”http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5050/5301060734_770c98f31e.jpg” alt=”Archer Season One” width=”500″ height=”300″ /><br /></strong></p>
<p>You know what, I could probably go on forever about how damn amazing the show is, I think you get it. But this isn&rsquo;t exactly a review of the show, no, it&rsquo;s a review of the DVD release of the first season. Here, I have to say that they could have done better, in fact scratch that, this DVD kind of sucks.</p>
<p>Sure, you get every episode of the season. Otherwise known as the minimum requirement to not be lying to us in the audience, and it&rsquo;s been met. Hooray. Ooh, you can even choose different subtitles when you want to watch the show, which will be especially useful when I want to supplement my Rosetta Stone French course.</p>
<p>The point is, the special features – you know, like the main advantage of buying this on DVD rather than watching it on Hulu, or Netflix instant streaming – are pretty worthless. There is an &ldquo;Original Unaired Pilot&rdquo;, but this isn&rsquo;t really the case. It&rsquo;s just another gag. Now mind you it&rsquo;s a pretty funny gag (not that I&rsquo;m going to spoil for anyone), but it is by no means a bunch of new content as you might be expecting. The same goes for the deleted scenes, as one of the three total is just a gag, and the other is just removed censorship from the show itself.</p>
<p>There are a bunch of &ldquo;Making Of&rdquo; vignettes as you might expect, and they&rsquo;re cute, but rather short. Plus they only shed light on the animation side of the production of the show. While this is definitely interesting, absolutely nothing is shared about the cast of the show or from the writers and producers, of the show’s origins or general flow of production. I literally found more information about this stuff when I did a brief Wikipedia search! For example: Adam Reed apparently thought up the show when he couldn&rsquo;t think up a good one-liner to pick up a woman while traipsing around Spain. Wow, that&rsquo;s exactly the kind of neat little anecdote one would expect to discover in a DVD docu-nette don&rsquo;t you think?</p>
<p>But maybe you&rsquo;re saying that the folks on Wikipedia must have heard this factoid (which is useless knowledge but fun to know, like knowing what an aglet is) on the DVD commentary? Nooooope! That&rsquo;s because there isn&rsquo;t any. As in nada, zero, bupkiss, zilch, and or zip… also boosh.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp;</span></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><strong><img src=”http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5121/5301060632_39c2e018fe.jpg” alt=”Archer Season One” width=”500″ height=”253″ /><br /></strong></p>
<p>Is there anything else? Yeah, you get to see pilot episodes of two <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>other</em> FX shows: <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>The League</em>, about – get this – a fantasy football &ldquo;league&rdquo;, and <em style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”>Louie</em>, which is a &ldquo;sitcom&rdquo; in the barest sense of the idea about Louis C. K. While these both have their moments, another 45 minutes of cross promotion advertising is probably not what you came here to see. It&rsquo;s actually quite sad.</p>
<p>So all told, you&rsquo;re really not missing much if you skip the DVD here, which of course is bad for the show getting further seasons, but the folks at FX have no one to blame but themselves. Seriously, someone will put up the gag pilot on YouTube soon enough and the rest of the exclusive content is forgettable so you&rsquo;re better off just turning to downloading or streaming sources. Unless you&rsquo;re a completionist, in which case nothing I say could possibly stop you from buying this thing, or if you&rsquo;re buying it for supportive reasons, in which case I&rsquo;d ask that you send me at least half as much money as you pay for the DVD, since I&rsquo;m giving you more commentary on the show writing this review than you&rsquo;ll find on these discs.</p>
<p>Long story short, Archer is an awfully amazing, acerbic, agent assassination allocation of your time, but also a truly terrible DVD release. Like a highly expensive prostitute who turns out to be a hitman… use at your own risk.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><strong><img src=”http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5086/5300465587_4420d77f69.jpg” alt=”Archer Season One” width=”300″ height=”282″ /><br /></strong></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><strong>Voob-voob-voob-voo-voo-woo-woo-woob-wub-wub-wub-wub-bub-boo!</strong></p>

<p>Excelsior, Geekscapists (or should I say Dickscapists in the words of Stan “The Man” Lee?)! As 2010 comes to a close, here are the top reads from the comic fiends at Geekscape.net! But first, a Geekscape message from Stan himself!</p>
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<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Jonathan London</h2>
<h2>5. Secret Avengers</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/s2VDX.jpg” alt=”Secret Avengers #1″ width=”580″ height=”373″ /></p>
<p>The writing of Ed Brubaker and the artwork of Mike Deodato bring you a black ops Avengers team of mismatched members? Yes, please! Like Dan Slott’s Mighty Avengers before it, Secret Avengers gives readers a fun and fast moving Avengers book in which every character has their own voice and we can finally be shaken free of the slower, more meandering Avengers titles. Thank you for not making everything a smart-ass comment and drowning your narratives in word balloons, Mr. Brubaker!</p>
<h2>4. Usagi Yojimbo</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://hokubei.com/files/images/usagi%20yojimbo_0.jpg” alt=”Yusagi Yojimbo Best Comic” width=”580″ height=”470″ /></p>
<p>Aspiring film directors… this is the most important book you can read! It might be an easily overlooked option when thinking of a top comics list. There are no superstar creators or overcomplicated and exciting concepts. Usagi Yojimbo is just pure storytelling. Nothing in this book is a wasted effort and that’s the way it has been for years. Like clockwork, I’ve read every issue that Dark Horse (and a few previous collections) has released and have never failed to be inspired with how expertly Stan Sakai tells a story. This is graphic storytelling at its best.</p>
<h2>3. X-Men: Second Coming</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/njBy5.jpg” alt=”X-Force, X-Men second coming” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>2 major X-Man die. An army of Nimrods sent from the future hellbent on mutant extinction. The arrival of a new mutant savior. Scott Summers making some hard decisions and having to pay the price for them. Nothing came easy during this X-Crossover event… except the entertainment! The writing was engaging, the artwork was solid throughout and readers finally had a reason to buy almost every X-book on the rack!</p>
<h2>2. Brightest Day #15: The Manhunter From Mars?</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/6NywL.jpg” alt=”rightest Day 15″ width=”580″ height=”420″ /></p>
<p>Geoff Johns, Peter Tomasi and artists Patrick Gleason and Scott Clark do a better murder mystery and riff on the recent history of the DCU than we ever got in Final Crisis! In this story, which takes place when J&rsquo;onn J&rsquo;onzz is under the hypnosis of fellow Martian D&rsquo;Kay D&rsquo;Razz, J’onn and the JLA have finally achieved a future of peace in the galaxy and life on Mars. It all begins to slip through their fingers though as J’onn discovers each of the JLA elder members murdered one after another (and each one attempting to deliver him a message of warning). The Batman murder scene is worth seeking out this book alone! &nbsp;</p>
<h2>1. Sweet Tooth</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/RalRz.jpg” alt=”Sweet Tooth #1 Cemetery” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>There’s a standard I have for outstanding monthly storytelling. A lot happens for all of us in a month. Do you ever spend the first few pages of a comic book trying to shake off the cobwebs and remember what took place in the book the month before? Really well told stories never leave us with those cobwebs. Even after 30 days have passed (and sometimes more), Jeff Lemire’s Sweet Tooth, month in and month out, starts with the same desperate and jagged energy that remained from the last issue. Described as a post-Apocalyptic journey in the spirit of “The Road” (but with mutant animal hybrids), Lemire’s artwork and economic storytelling paint a pretty engaging picture as it walks along a clear narrative of survival that leaves plenty of room for surprises and revelations.</p>
<h2>Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly</h2>
<h2>10. Ultimate Spiderman</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/5R8Ri.jpg” alt=”Ultimate Spider-man” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>Ultimate Spiderman has never been a great comic series; but I&rsquo;ve always been a fan of the art and I do enjoy the high school years of Peter Parker. However, they recently restarted the series back at issue 1 and so far, so good. Peter and Aunt May now have multiple mutants (including Shadowcat, Human Torch and Iceman) all living under one roof, it&rsquo;s been funny and interesting to see the new dynamic.</p>
<h2>9. Batman &amp; Robin</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/bJCfd.jpg” alt=”Batman and Robin Grant Morrison” width=”580″ height=”374″ /></p>
<p>The Batman Vs. Robin story-arc that tied into the Blackest Night was very entertainingly dark. Grant Morrison is very hit or miss (as the current story arc is presenting his &lsquo;miss&rsquo; abilities) but when he hits&hellip; he hits it out of the park</p>
<h2>8. Walking Dead</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/zkh5E.jpg” alt=”Walking Dead ” width=”570″ height=”428″ /></p>
<p>Walking Dead is a great series. I can&rsquo;t deny sometimes it can drag, but most of the time it&rsquo;s necessary for the commentary that Kirkman is trying to make. Our cast of heroes has finally found a stable community, but their years of dealing with the &ldquo;walkers&rdquo; (fuck it, they&rsquo;re fucking zombies just say it!) leads them to distrust, it&rsquo;s been thrilling watching Rick &amp; Company uncover the dark secrets of this otherwise happy and functional community.</p>
<h2>7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i49.tinypic.com/xlxi1h.jpg” alt=”Buffy Season 8 Twilight buffy angel” width=”580″ height=”480″ /></p>
<p>The Twilight story arc could have ended it really badly, but it turned out all right. Part III of the Four-Part series was the highlight. The comic was simply named &ldquo;They Fuck&rdquo; and the entire issue was various drawings of Buffy and Angel boning. In true Whedon fashion, what should have been a throwaway fetish-y issue is a turning point in the series filling in plot holes, catching the reader up and setting us up perfectly for the conclusion of the story</p>
<h2>6. Haunt</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/K1aP3.jpg” alt=”Haunt todd mcfarlane robert kirkman” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>McFarlane and Kirkman are two comic Gods; McFarlane represents the age of comics in the 90&rsquo;s while Kirkman represents the current run of indie comics. When they joined forces they created a character that will never be the most popular character in comic history, but it&rsquo;s an interesting story. Is it trending new ground? No. Is it just mindless fun and gore? For the most part and that&rsquo;s why I love it.</p>
<h2>5. Batman Confidential</h2>
<p>Batman Confidential has always been one of my favorite comic series. It was this comic that really got me back into reading comics and got me reading more DC titles. Last year it was one of the best titles out there with The Riddler and Joker story arcs. This year has had two of the strangest stories; while Batman vs. the Undead was mostly weak; the story Ghosts was extremely interesting and dark (although the fully-painted art of Sam Keith just doesn&rsquo;t mesh well with Batman).</p>
<h2>4. Scott Pilgrim 6</h2>
<p>The Scott Pilgrim series has finally concluded (just in time for the movie release). It wasn&rsquo;t the best Scott Pilgrim comic but over the last few years we&rsquo;ve learned to love these characters, seeing everything wrap up nicely. Not a great comic, but a very fitting conclusion.</p>
<h2>3. Morning Glories</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/Irw8K.jpg” alt=”” width=”580″ height=”418″ /></p>
<p>The newest Image series is only 3 issues in but each issue keeps your attention. Things  aren&rsquo;t normal at this school for special students and we don&rsquo;t now why but there&rsquo;s something sinister going on. Every issue ends with a holy shit moment that will be in your mind until the next issue. This is what comic books should be.</p>
<h2>2. Amazing Spiderman</h2>
<p>Brand New Day was pretty unanimously disliked. But Amazing Spiderman still produces GREAT story arcs, the best story arc of the year was hands down the Lizard-driven &ldquo;Shed.” It was dark and hopeless. It concluded in one of the most shocking Spiderman moments in recent memory. To paraphrase Jonathan London, if they used this story arc for the Spiderman reboot you&rsquo;d have one hell of a movie!</p>
<h2>1. Chew</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/rZQ5r.jpg” alt=”Chew Comic” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>This year Chew won the Eisner for best new series and rightfully so. The Comic is brilliant and hilarious. Rob Guillory&rsquo;s art is top notch and John Layman has crafted a world that has the right blend of outrageous without ever pushing it to the point of disbelief. Things happen and you accept it because the writing is so tight that you simply can&rsquo;t not enjoy it. Chew tells the story of Tony Chu who is a cibopath, this means that anything he eats givens him a psychic connection to the foods short life. This makes him the perfect person to solve cold-case murders, all he has to do is eat the corpse. This is a premise that should only work for an issue or two but the comic&rsquo;s loveable characters and layers of stories have made it a page-turner for 15 perfect issues.</p>
<h2>WORST COMIC OF THE YEAR: Deadpool Corps</h2>
<p>I love Deadpool. I know people consider him a lame-duck character, and even I can admit that well perhaps they started making too many titles for the character; but most of them were enjoyable.. that was until the Deadpool Corps, which became the first comic I ever had removed from my pull-list. Its overly complicated attempts at slapstick comedy do nothing but hurt the title and make it feel like one long, unfunny joke.</p>
<h2>Brian Walton</h2>
<h2>5. Night and Fog</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/rtJft.jpg” alt=”Night and Fog” width=”580″ height=”450″ /></p>
<p>The first 20 pages of this book are hard to get through, trust me, I stopped a couple of times. But, when I finally got into the main thrust of the book Night and Fog is a fun monster movie in print. This is definitely an ode to 80’s monster movies and I’m all for it. While the art isn’t great(the artist draws better monsters than people) the writing makes up for it. Definitely worth the read.</p>
<h2>4. Red Robin</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/YbeRQ.jpg” alt=”” width=”580″ height=”374″ /></p>
<p>When Tim Drake was ousted as Robin, I was pissed. I didn’t know if I could follow Damian Wayne as Robin, and I didn’t know where it left Tim Drake as a hero. This book fills the void nicely. Red Robin’s first year has shown a much edgier Tim. Someone who’s willing to do whatever he has to in order to complete his mission. Ra’s Al Guhl taking an interest doesn’t seem forced and nothing that Tim does feels out of character. He is still written as the most human character in the DC universe.</p>
<h2>3. Walking Dead</h2>
<p>The Walking Dead has put me through the wringer this year. Kirkman’s presentation of the survivors as people starting to near the edge of sanity is really getting into my brain. I keep wondering, how much longer until Rick snaps? The current story in the walled town is impressive for it’s confrontational approach to going “back to normal.” The eb and flow of the books action, giving us luls to catch our breath, can put you on edge wondering, what now? Here’s hoping the show can maintain this level of intensity this far in.</p>
<h2>2. Blackest Night/Brightest Day/Green Lantern/Green Lantern Corps</h2>
<p>Throughout Blackest Night I happily bought every single side story and event tie in, because this was the first “event book” in a long time where I actually wanted to know the side details of what was happening. The Green Lantern books have been the most consistently well written books for the last couple of years. Finally getting to see the adventures of Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner in settings where they work has been a treat. While it does feel like the promise of Geoff Johns original take on Hal jordan has been sacrificed to further the DC universe as a whole (the almost complete abandonment of “Cowgirl”), I appreciate the narrative that the books are pushing through.</p>
<h2>1. Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://nerdcityonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/scott-pilgrim-volume-6-short.jpg” alt=”Scott Pilgrim’s Finest hour scott pilgrim vol 6″ width=”580″ height=”540″ /></p>
<p>Thoroughly tying up every loose end from the previous books, Scott Pilgrim’s Finest hour does an amazing job of properly ending the the comics in the most logical and fun way possible. *Spoiler* While I appreciate how the film ended, the books ending allows Ramona Flowers to deal with her issues herself, making her less a damsel in distress and more a partner for Scott. An amazing finale for a comic that people will continue to talk about for years to come. It is my firm belief that an entire gender studies syllabus could be covered by this series of books.</p>
<h2>Worst Comic: The Return of Bruce Wayne</h2>
<p>Where did the bad man touch you? My heart, the bad man broke my heart. Grant Morrsion continues his stunning fall from grace. Return of Bruce Wayne was a quagmire of awful, and I stopped at issue 3.Pilgrim Batman? Really?!</p>
<h2>Eric Diaz</h2>
<h2>#5.Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8</h2>
<p>When Joss Whedon returned to Buffy for Season 8 in comic book form back in 2007, geekdom was downright elated. But four years is waaaay too long for a &ldquo;season&rdquo; of anything, and somewhere around the middle the story became a slog to get through and fandom lost interest.  Well, their loss, because as the story came to its conclusion this year in spectacular fashion.  I mean, Buffy and Angel had cosmic marathon sex, spawned a new universe, Spike came back captaining a steampunk ship manned by  giant insects, and a major core character dies at the hands of another major core character, and Buffy&rsquo;s universe changes WAY more here than in did at the end of the tv series. Bring on Season 9 Joss.</p>
<h2>#4.Justice League: Generation Lost</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/EZzVf.jpg” alt=”Justice League International Justice League Generation Lost” width=”580″ height=”540″ /></p>
<p>Ever since DC struck gold with a year long weekly event in 52, they have tried and failed to duplicate the magic with series like the atrocious Countdown and later, Trinity. The Bi weekly Brightest Day is only marginally better than those series, but it is DC&rsquo;s other Bi weekly year long event book that has the addictive quality and fun cliffhangers that made 52 such a fun read.  Focusing on the late 80&rsquo;s/early 90&rsquo;s Justice League International characters as fugitives on the run from a recently returned to life villain Maxwell Lord, a man who has erased himself from all knowledge and memory. All but the memories of a hadful of second stringers. Fun stuff  that always leaves you wanting more.</p>
<h2>#3.Legion of Super Heroes</h2>
<p>Back in the late 70&rsquo;s and early 80&rsquo;s, DC Comics couldn&rsquo;t give away copies of Batman and Superman. Instead, DC&rsquo;s biggest selling books were New Teen Titans and The Legion of Super Heroes. The latter was written for twelve years by future DC publisher Paul Levitz, who left the book in 1989. Since then, the book floundered, with reboot and even threeboots not taking off with the public. In 2010 Paul Levitz (now just a writer again) picked up right where he left off in &lsquo;89, and Legion of Super Heroes  is the kind of old school fun super team melodrama that modern comics forgot about.  Paul Levitz picked up right where he left off with his beloved Legion, and proved that in comics anyway, you can go home again.</p>
<h2>#2.Avengers: The Children&rsquo;s Crusade</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/Nm2xm.jpg” alt=”Avenger’s the Children’s Crusade, Young Avengers” width=”580″ height=”400″ /></p>
<p>Don&rsquo;t let the title fool you; this book is really Young Avengers: Volume Two. Original YA writer/artist team of Allan Heinberg and Jim Cheung reunite four years later to continue the saga they started.  But even thought this story is centered around Young Avengers Wiccan and Speed as they search for their mother (the long missing Scarlet Witch) this story also features The Avengers, The X-Men, Magneto and Dr. Doom in prominent roles in what so far is an old school 70&rsquo;s/80&rsquo;s style Marvel story that they just don&rsquo;t do enough of anymore.</p>
<h2>#1.Superman: Earth One</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/d96jA.jpg” alt=”” width=”580″ height=”360″ /></p>
<p>J. Michael Straczynski might have dropped the ball on his proposed year long runs on the Superman and Wonder Woman books, but his recreation of the Superman mythos with artist Gene Ha for the 21st Century should be THE template for any future Superman movie. Hear that David Goyer? Just when you think you&rsquo;ve seen Superman&rsquo;s origin retold too many times, along comes Earth One to show how there is always a cool new wrinkle to add to this already legendary origin story. Earth One is everything good superhero comics should be.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>New Geekscape Contributor Dickson Chimes in with some last minute picks</h2>
<p>As one of my many jobs, I manage Facebook business pages (&lsquo;like&rsquo; pages) for several performers and businesses. This year I took on DJ&rsquo;s Universal Comics in Studio City, CA as a client.</p>
<p>I get paid partially in credit. It was totally my choice and I&rsquo;m glad I made it. As an extra-added bonus, my roommate actually works in the shop, so I go with her on Sundays to help around the place. As a side benefit, I read a ton of books to pass the time when things are slow.</p>
<p>This year-end list isn&rsquo;t necessarily the best books of 2010. It also includes the best books I&rsquo;ve read this year, even if they came out a while ago. I&rsquo;ve tried to maintain some connection to the present in each case, though.</p>
<p>With that in mind, in the order in which I&rsquo;ve remembered them, here we go.</p>
<h2>Hellboy: The Storm &ndash; Dark Horse:</h2>
<p>Holy crap! They bill this as &ldquo;The story that began in &ldquo;Darkness Calls&rdquo;. Being a Mignola-verse noob, I had no idea what that meant. I wrangled up the majority of the Hellboy trades (except &ldquo;Darkness Calls&rdquo; of course) at Comic-Con and so was eager to catch up to the rest of the world with this new series.</p>
<p>Plus, I LOVED &ldquo;The Wild Hunt&rdquo; until I wore the cover off.</p>
<p>I was not disappointed with &ldquo;The Storm&rdquo;. Fans of the world&rsquo;s greatest paranormal detective saw some world-shattering things take place. The crowning of Nimue as something greater than a Goddess of War; the assemblage of the Noble of Britain and the apparent arrival of the dormant (we hope) Ogdru Jahad on Earth! What!? Not to mention that whole thing with Baba Yaga&rsquo;s eyeball.</p>
<p>Of course, if we can&rsquo;t have Mike&rsquo;s art, we have all grown to love Richard Corben. However, I think Duncan Fegredo is my go-to man. His art is so similar to Mignola&rsquo;s, yet has such a rich depth of field and wealth of expression. There is no mistaking why he was chosen to tell the most compelling and important story of the Hellboy saga.</p>
<p>The three issues of this series went by far too quickly. I can&rsquo;t wait for &ldquo;The Fury&rdquo;!</p>
<h2>The Chronicles of Wormwood &ndash; Avatar Press:</h2>
<p>Leave it to Avatar to put out one of the most F&rsquo;d up books ever! Why wasn&rsquo;t I surprised that Garth Ennis was the mad mind behind this tale of the Antichrist, his pal Jesus and a talking rabbit?  I stopped reading Hellblazer after Garth left and I consider &lsquo;Preacher&rsquo; to be the pinnacle of the medium &ndash; so, when I saw &ldquo;Ennis&rdquo; on the spine of the vol. 1 collection, I had to pick it up. I know- this came out, like, 3 years ago.</p>
<p>Ah-ha! There is also a current series, subtitled &ldquo;The Last Battle&rdquo; which is set to finish its run sometime in the next 10 years.</p>
<p>The first volume encompasses six issues of pure Ennis joy. It&rsquo;s profane, timely, full of pop-culture references and exquisitely drawn by Jacen Burrows (currently working on Alan Moore&rsquo;s Neonomicon&rdquo;). You won&rsquo;t be able to tear yourself away from the initial pages – and when God shows up, hoo boy!</p>
<p>I did my part and sold all of the copies the shop had.</p>
<p>A short-run miniseries and a one-shot follow the issues in Vol. 1. Then, there is &ldquo;The Last Battle&rdquo;.</p>
<p>All of the subsequent issues, I feel, suffer from Jacen Burrows&rsquo; absence. I suppose I just got used to his detailed and whimsical depictions of violence and naked women.</p>
<p>In any case, the story remains very provocative and strange. I have to admit that I doubt I will ever again feel the joy of discovering this story for the first time, but I&rsquo;m in it for the duration.</p>
<p>Even in its current run, it&rsquo;s only beat out by &ldquo;Crossed&rdquo; as the most twisted book on the racks and it&rsquo;s far better than my other Ennis-impulse buy: &lsquo;Only A Pilgrim&rsquo;. Thank the maker I found that in a 60% off bin at Comic-Con. Just sayin&rsquo;.</p>
<h2>Fables 100 &ndash; Vertigo/DC:</h2>
<p>On a rainy Sunday at the shop, I sat and read the first 10 trade paperbacks of Fables. I had read the first story arc when the series started, but chose not to invest my time or money in the second and then lost touch with the series altogether.</p>
<p>Then came that rainy day.</p>
<p>I picked up Fables 100 before I had caught myself up on the story, and I waited about 10 minutes after getting home with it before cracking it open and taking my chances. Despite the fact that it&rsquo;s in what they used to call &ldquo;prestige&rdquo; format, one can tell by reading that something special is happening in the story. Why was Frau Totenkinder (excuse me, ma&rsquo;am, Bellflower) young again? Who was this Dark Man? It didn&rsquo;t matter. The story spoke for itself. The Fables were in trouble and their best efforts ended up amounting to a hill of beans – beans that eat your teeth and enslave your withered body. With its literally (no pun intended) fantastic battles with an impossible foe and that &ldquo;Empire Strikes Back&rdquo; feeling, this one issue packed all the punch of the entire &ldquo;War and Pieces&rdquo; saga.</p>
<p>It also has fun little extras like a puppet theater, more celebrity &ldquo;burning questions&rdquo; and a prose story. It makes me smile (and spend my precious credit) that the creative people behind a mainstream book make such an effort to give the fans a thrill in every issue. This is what a landmark issue should be. Like a &ldquo;very special episode&rdquo; of your favorite TV show, Fables 100 pulled no punches, delivered some doozies then faded to black with no applause.</p>
<h2>Hellblazer: India-Vertigo/DC:</h2>
<p>As sort of previously mentioned, when Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon left Hellblazer, I stopped reading. For all intents and purposes, &ldquo;Rake at the Gates of Hell&rdquo; was the &ldquo;end&rdquo; of Constantine&rsquo;s story and that was that – then I moved onto &ldquo;Preacher&rdquo;.</p>
<p>I saw that Shade The Changing Man was making an appearance in a recent arc, so I jumped back in, tentatively. Being obsessive, I had to back track and find the pieces of the story I was missing and first ran into the &ldquo;Hooked&rdquo; trade paperback and then &ldquo;India&rdquo;.</p>
<p>Though &ldquo;Hooked&rdquo; was good, &ldquo;India&rdquo; was better. The story itself is preposterous in that Constantine is hunting for &ldquo;purity&rdquo; to use in an effort to raise a deceased lover. To get that purity, he travels to India and ends up getting involved in a classic Hellblazer piss-up with fake fakirs, the local police and a pissed-off imperialist demon.</p>
<p>I love a story that can weave mythology and culture into a tight story and &ldquo;India&rdquo; does that. The art is evocative and, despite its impressionistic bent, very expressive. The colors are deceptively bright and the lines are bold. The infusion of Indian culture is authentic and the humor is vintage Constantine. The bastard came back! I never thought I&rsquo;d buy Hellblazer again, but I&rsquo;m back on the train. I don&rsquo;t restrict that the return of Simon Bisely has a lot to do with my affection for this &ldquo;new&rdquo; Constantine. The Bisley-drawn story at the end of the &ldquo;India&rdquo; trade is gold.</p>
<h2>Siege &ndash; Marvel:</h2>
<p>Again I came late to the game on this one. I don&rsquo;t read much Marvel, I&rsquo;ll admit. I learn about the goings-on in the Marvel-U by attending most of the Marvel panels at the various conventions. Joe Q. tells us what&rsquo;s coming up and the fans ask all the questions that lead to answers that fill me in. I learned about &ldquo;Secret Invasion&rdquo; and &ldquo;War of Kings&rdquo; and &ldquo;Dark Reign&rdquo; this way. I was anxious to learn the ultimate fate of Norman Osborne and his &ldquo;Dark Avengers&rdquo;, so I picked up &ldquo;Siege&rdquo; and went into it knowing enough to get by, but little else.</p>
<p>Once again, this was a story worthy of a cross-over event! Massive armies are rallied and they march on no less than Asgard itself, by Odin&rsquo;s Eye! I only read the issues comprising the main story and not the crossovers, but from the initial tremors, to the &ldquo;told ya&rdquo; moment, to the final cataclysm, this story is what we used to call a &ldquo;ripping yarn&rdquo;.  It doesn&rsquo;t quite match the scope of &ldquo;Blackest Night/Brightest Day&rdquo; but it certainly beats those stories in terms of balls-out action. The DC crossovers just confused me and seem endless in comparison to this nice, tight little Ragnarok.</p>
<p>There were tons more books I could have included here (like every Hellboy book printed this year). BPRD: Hell on Earth, American Vampire and S.H.I.E.L.D. are just a few I just narrowly missed mentioning. I have my reasons.</p>
<p>Though some quite profound things are happening in the book I just can&rsquo;t get used to the art in BPRD when I&rsquo;m spoiled over in Hellboy.</p>
<p>American Vampire also has an exciting and engaging story told in an original way. The art, again, is hard to get used to (though Rafael Albuquerque does draw a pretty cool angry vampire).</p>
<p>S.H.I.E.L.D. is a nifty concept, but I&rsquo;m not sure I know what the hell is going on. However, it is a beautiful book and it&rsquo;s cool to see a wonked-out look at some crazy peeps like DaVinci and Sir Isaac Newton as heroes and villains. Now Tesla&rsquo;s involved? I&rsquo;m in, but I&rsquo;m not sure I want to involve anyone else.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>For 2011, I am going to resolve to expand my horizons a bit and be more tolerant of spandex and those who worship it. Help me, won&rsquo;t you?</p>

<p style=”text-align: Justify;”>Jonathan here to introduce Geekscape’s picks for best albums of 2010, compliments of our music editor Noel Nocciolo and everyone’s favorite opinionated music fan Matt Kelly. 2010 was a thin music year for me and I would only be repeating these guy’s sentiments that Steel Train knocked it out of the park with their self titled release. You should all remember them from our interview this year and feverishly seek them out. They were the soundtrack to our post Comic-Con drive home (along with my last year’s #1: The Leftovers). In case you missed the interview, here it is again:</p>
<p>
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<p style=”text-align: Justify;”>And now, for the expert’s picks!</p>
<h2 style=”text-align: Justify;”>Noel Nocciolo – Geekscape Music Editor</h2>
<p style=”text-align: Justify;”>Let&rsquo;s put it out there, right now, straight up:&nbsp; I did not include Kanye West on this; my Top 10 Albums Of 2010 list.&nbsp; If you think that is unfair, you are probably right; I&rsquo;m sure it tops every other top 10 of the year you&rsquo;ll read.&nbsp; Put simply, he is without a doubt, one of the best producers in music; fact not opinion.&nbsp; BUT!&nbsp; I can&rsquo;t wait to never listen to his solo albums.&nbsp; If you find my actions narrow, I&rsquo;ll agree.&nbsp; I have my reasons, of course, but that&rsquo;s for another day.<br /><br />(Because this is a nerd list…and we love that it is&hellip;I did include his DJ, so there you go.)<br /><br />Every time I start dreaming of the old albums made by Tom Waits, Randy Newman, Elvis Costello, The Beatles, Harry Nilsson&hellip;etc&hellip;.someone shocks me back to reality and the reality of now.&nbsp;&nbsp; There were some wonderful albums made this year, by DJs (you can find two on my list for free on this glorious internet of ours!) by electronic bands, by rock bands, by genre-bending women.<br /><br />Let&rsquo;s bring on the good vibes, and here are my picks for the year!!<br />(MY presence is a present, kiss my ass!)</p>
<h2>10)&nbsp; Vampire Weekend, Contra</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/hHnPi.jpg” alt=”Vampire Weekend Contra” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p><br />I dare your sophomore slump to sound this good.&nbsp; No, it&rsquo;s not perfect (what is?!) but it&rsquo;s pretty darned fun.&nbsp; Rhyming &ldquo;horchata&rdquo; with &ldquo;Masada&rdquo; and &ldquo;Aranciata&rdquo; and &ldquo;balaclava&rdquo; is kind of&hellip;.amazing.&nbsp; The phrase, &ldquo;&hellip;bounced across a Saudi satellite dish and through your brain to California English&hellip;&rdquo; now exists.&nbsp; Much like their debut, I found I liked it all, but liked the first half far more than the second.&nbsp; Maybe the third time will be a charm on that goal.<br /><br /><br /></p>
<h2>9)&nbsp; A-Trak, Dirty South Dance #2</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://imgur.com/VkaLD.jpg” alt=”A-Trak Dirt South Dance” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>Big crush on you, A-Trak, on your fatty mix tapes that get me dancing in my underwear, alone, in my apartment.&nbsp; A-Trak&rsquo;s treasures are available for <a title=”Dirty South Dance Download” href=”http://atrak.bandcamp.com/album/dirty-south-dance-2″>download for free</a> (www.foolsgoldrecs.com, kids!) and are suitable for your next house party.&nbsp; You&rsquo;ll be the coolest nerd in the room when you tell your friends that he&rsquo;s one of the best DJs in the business (just ask Kanye), owns his own company (Fool&rsquo;s Gold Records) and his big brother is half of Chromeo (talented family).</p>
<h2>8)&nbsp; Chromeo, Business Casual</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/Y7UIT.jpg” alt=”Chromeo Business Casual” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p><br />Oh yes.&nbsp; Oh hells yes.&nbsp; For more information on this music-tech&rsquo;s wet dream, read <a title=”Chromeo Business Casual Review” href=”../../../geekscape-music-review-chromeo-s-business-casual.html”>my feature</a> from earlier in the year.</p>
<h2>7)&nbsp; Hellogoodbye, Would It Kill You?</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://imgur.com/IIaAa.jpg” alt=”Hello Goodbye, Would it Kill You” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>Would it kill you to support independent music with a few bucks invested in a band that is starting over?&nbsp; No?&nbsp; Great.&nbsp; Buy this, please.&nbsp; This is not the Hellogoodbye of the past; it&rsquo;s better.&nbsp; A few more guitars, less synths, well-balanced, sunny Orange County tunes.&nbsp; Mature, well-executed, pop rock made by dudes who grew up and saw how the sausage is made in a changing music industry, and fought to release a full-length on their own terms.&nbsp; (See #4)&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>6)&nbsp; Girl Talk, All Day</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/2nml0.jpg” alt=”Girl Talk All Day” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>Mashups!&nbsp;&nbsp; He may not be DJ Mr. F (see last year&rsquo;s list!) but he provided a little corner of the interwebs to collapse in the throws of crazy heavy traffic when he dropped the free download of &ldquo;All Day&rdquo; in November.&nbsp; The nerd chills are heavy on the jump; Black Sabbath with Ludacris and is that the door-slamming sounds of AOL instant messenger?&nbsp; Huh.&nbsp; Pop culture is everywhere with Willow Smith hair whipping and learning how to dougie and a little bit of your parents&rsquo; jam with Joe Jackson and The Boss.&nbsp; Big fun. You can download the <a title=”Girl Talk All Day” href=”http://illegal-art.net/allday/”>whole album here </a>for free.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>5)&nbsp; Arcade Fire, The Suburbs</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/UJU20.jpg” alt=”Arcade Fire THe Suburbs” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p><br />The intense, inner-organ-ripping musical-arrangement-fire found on &ldquo;Neon Bible&rdquo; and &ldquo;Funeral&rdquo; is not on &ldquo;The Suburbs.&rdquo;&nbsp; The music is more subtle than the past, and at first listen, I&rsquo;ll admit, I was a little&hellip;.bored.&nbsp; BUT!&nbsp; In the second listen, I then heard the stories told in the songs, and it made sense that the music be subtle this time around.&nbsp; The lyrics will tear you apart.&nbsp; The music will not.&nbsp; At a risk of listeners combusting, the band picked one kind of stimulation over the other.&nbsp;&nbsp; The album is not a huge step forward, nor a huge step back, but a huge step over to the left of what they&rsquo;ve accomplished to date.&nbsp; Gorgeous and heartbreaking.<br /><br /></p>
<h2>4)&nbsp; Steel Train, self-titled</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://imgur.com/49Pg0.jpg” alt=”Steel Train Self Titled Album” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>Steel Train&rsquo;s self-titled album was a rebirth for a rock band that has tried on many different suits since their 2002 debut EP.&nbsp; This suit fits the best.&nbsp; Before the band&rsquo;s inception, its members, (both separately with long-defunct other groups, and together, but in a different form) played in legion halls and community centers as part of a thriving local scene.&nbsp; In re-visiting this suit, they crafted an album that is thrashing and intense and should be played very, very loud.&nbsp; No longer tied to Drive-Thru Records, they gambled big, started their own label to release their dream projects; an album in compact disc form, digital form, two different vinyl pressings, and a companion album with covers of the songs on the album performed by an impressive cast of women.&nbsp; If there were to be an award for biggest risk taken, most juicy choices made, it would go to a few of New Jersey&rsquo;s favorite sons.&nbsp; Pay respect to artists doing what they love and not pandering to the rules of an industry.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>3)&nbsp; Janelle Mon&aacute;e, The ArchAndroid</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm276/El-Flippo/Thumbs%202/JanelleMone-TheArchAndroid2010COVERIMAGE.jpg” alt=”Janelle Monae The ArchAndroid” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>It is wildly obvious that Ms. Mon&aacute;e has a theatrical background in listening to her treasure of a record.&nbsp; What a breath of fresh air for whatever &ldquo;genre&rdquo; we&rsquo;re calling this.&nbsp; (How about the genre of &ldquo;good music?&rdquo;)&nbsp; The album is mastered to be played beginning to end, you know, like albums used to be?&nbsp; Back when you had to get off the couch to flip from side A to side B and reposition the needle of the record player?&nbsp; A concept album that doesn&rsquo;t hit you over the head with an agenda, but, instead, makes you think about your place in the real world, or the fantastical artists-only world she has created.&nbsp; A chorus here, a sample there, a touch of intense vocals where needed, a touch of ethereal vocals where needed, Big Boi and of Montreal where needed&hellip;.it&rsquo;s incredibly wonderful and a must-buy for anyone whose brain operates a little left of center.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>2)&nbsp; Mavis Staples, You Are Not Alone</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/hx9qp.jpgM” alt=”Mavis Staples” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p>It&rsquo;s been a little over thirty-four years since The Staples Singers tore through a version of &ldquo;The Weight&rdquo; with The Band in Scorsese&rsquo; epic performance-documentary, &ldquo;The Last Waltz,&rdquo; but Mavis Staples has lost none of her grit.&nbsp; Her release, &ldquo;You Are Not Alone,&rdquo; produced by Wilco&rsquo;s Jeff Tweedy, brings together two of my favorite Chicagoans and two musicians with something to say.<br /><br />Some songs are gospel standards and others were penned by Allen Toussaint, Randy Newman, and John Fogerty.&nbsp; Two of the most notable tunes, the title track and &ldquo;Only The Lord Knows&rdquo; were written for Staples by Jeff Tweedy.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s not Wilco.&nbsp; It shouldn&rsquo;t be Wilco.&nbsp; Of course, you can hear how it could have BEEN a Wilco tune with a flipped orchestration and production technique.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s all Staples.&nbsp; It is HER album; it just happens to have been recorded at the Wilco recording space, by Wilco&rsquo;s multi-faceted front man.&nbsp; The emotion cuts through the passion of her voice; it&rsquo;s the blues, it&rsquo;s hopeful, political, spiritual good music.&nbsp; Good music will always shine in some way.&nbsp; Fact.<br /><br /></p>
<h2>1)&nbsp; Hot Chip, One Life Stand</h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><img src=”http://i.imgur.com/Wi2Rv.jpg” alt=”Hot Chip One Life Stand” width=”580″ height=”580″ /></p>
<p><br /><br />Electronic music for hopeless romantics, eros, agap and philia are well-represented on this album.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll admit that up until the last year or so, I have never given much thought to electronic music.&nbsp; Not out of disdain, but of out lack of interest.&nbsp; Hot Chip changed all of that, as did their live show (go go GO if you have the chance) and &ldquo;One Life Stand.&rdquo;&nbsp; This is an album that is expressive, beautifully crafted and lyrically intense.&nbsp; Simplistic in theme but executed to make you feel something.&nbsp; The track about brotherhood feels just as genuine as the many tracks about passionate sex and even more passionate, all-consuming love of one&rsquo;s partner, one&rsquo;s one life stand.&nbsp; Gold from beginning to end.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly’s Music Picks for 2010</h2>
<p><br /><strong>10. B.O.B.</strong>: The Adventures of Bobby Ray &ndash; I didn&rsquo;t expect to love this album as much as I did, but B.O.B.&rsquo;s debut album is a love letter to the hip-hop industry and call to return to the days of old. The entire album is best summed up in the hit single Airplanes when he raps &ldquo;back when I was rappin&rsquo; for the hell of it/now a days we rappin&rsquo; to stay relevant&rdquo;. With rappers like Drake and Kanye West and now B.O.B. I think it&rsquo;s possible.<br /><br /><strong>9. The Whomping Willows: Wizard Party Forever</strong> &ndash; Wizard Rock Group &ldquo;The Whomping Willows&rdquo; album is both the best and worst wizard rock CD of all time. It&rsquo;s the best because of it&rsquo;s production values, it&rsquo;s lyrics and the fact that Whompy (aka Matt Maggiacomo) as released an album that sounds more like Weezer than Weezer&rsquo;s last four albums. It&rsquo;s the worst wizard rock album because it&rsquo;s just barely wizard rock; Harry Potter gets some mentions but he&rsquo;s not a focal point of the album; it&rsquo;s the most mainstream sounding record in the genre and while some people might have a problem with it, I think it&rsquo;s a plus. Maggiacomo has written a personal album about love, self-doubt and in the closing track &ldquo;When the Lights Go Out&rdquo; the importance of friendship and unity and quickly turns into a love letter to his fans and fellow wizard rock artists.<br /><br /><strong>8. Ben Folds: Lonely Avenue</strong> &ndash; Ben Folds is one of my all-time favorite musicians and Nick Hornby is one of my all time favorite authors. The collaboration of the two should be a match made in heaven, it&rsquo;s darn close. It&rsquo;s not the best album by Ben Folds, and it&rsquo;s not the best writing by Nick Hornby&hellip; but it&rsquo;s also neither one of their worst. Closing track &ldquo;Belinda&rdquo; is one of the saddest and yet most beautiful songs I&rsquo;ve ever heard. It&rsquo;s the tale of a one-hit wonder who still sings the song about an ex-lover.<br /><strong><br />7. Mumford &amp; Sons: Sigh No More</strong> &ndash; This album was a 2009 release for the UK but this here is AMERICA and as AMERICANS we didn&rsquo;t get the album until this year. Mumford and Sons is a folk-rock quartet that penned &ldquo;Little Lion Man&rdquo; one of the five best singles of the year.&nbsp; The album will have you tapping you foot and singing along instantly. <br /><br /><strong>6. Girl Talk: All Day</strong> &ndash; DJ Gregg Gillis (aka Girl Talk) is the master of sampling muxtapes. Each album takes roughly two years to construct. 2008&rsquo;s Feed Your Animals was one of my favorite albums of that year and 2010&rsquo;s All Day is no different. The blending of songs both old and new is outrageous and mind-blowing. Never did I think that Rihanna and Rage against the Machine or Ludacris and Black Sabbath would mix together so well.<br /><br /><strong>5. Hellogoodbye: Would it Kill You?</strong> &ndash; Hellogoodbye&rsquo;s self-titled EP was my favorite record during my freshmen year of college. It was dancey, upbeat, catchy and had some fun tongue-in-cheek lyrics. For Two years I waited for their full-length and when it finally came out it was one of the biggest letdowns of my life. Save two or three songs, most of the record was forgettable and uninteresting. So when I heard that Hellogoodbye had a new album coming out this year I could careless, until I started hearing songs from it. This was not the Hellogoodbye that I loved in 2004 and hated in 2006; this was an actual band. They were tight, Forrest&rsquo;s vocals weren&rsquo;t auto tuned (or if they were not noticeably) and most importantly, it was a relaxing and fun throwback to the 60&rsquo;s sounds of artists like The Band and The Beatles. Here&rsquo;s to hoping they continue in this direction for a long time. <br /><br /><strong>4. Devo: Something for Everybody</strong> &ndash; After almost two decades, Devo is back and better than ever. Devo was always the band for Geeky kids playing Dungeons and Dragons in their basement. They were quirky, socially awkward and pissed off about it. Devo&rsquo;s new album continues right were they left off; Heavy Synth driven pissed-off Angst filled anthems. If you&rsquo;re a Devo fan and you didn&rsquo;t buy this album yet get the fuck out there and make an important change in your life.<br /><strong><br />3. mc chris: goes to hell</strong> &ndash; I&rsquo;ve written at length about my love of this album in my blog. But to sum it up; Fuck Kanye West, Drake and Emiem&hellip; mc chris made the best hip-hop CD of 2010. Rapping about topics such as Star Wars Bounty Hunters and their cars (IG-88&rsquo;s &rsquo;57 Chevy, Dengar&rsquo;s Dump truck, Bossk on a Segway), Harry Potter (Neville) and fucking (Awesome Fucker, Japanese Maid) but the standout track is his James Bond inspired (006). mc&rsquo;s style of rapping is unique, quick-witted and hilarious out of all his records, this is his masterpiece.<br /><br /><strong>2. Linkin Park: A Thousand Suns</strong> &ndash; I&rsquo;d never call myself a Linkin Park fan, but I&rsquo;ve always enjoyed them. If nothing else I always have to give them props for never releasing the same album twice (except for when they did a track by track remix of their 2nd album; that was literally releasing an album twice). I had first heard about A Thousand Suns when they were on The Nerdist Podcast and singer Mike Shinoda said that a lot of long-time fans are probably going to dislike the album. He was right, but for me, this is the best effort the group has done. Very few guitars, lots of sampling and synth and ending on the lyric &ldquo;When Life Leaves Us Blind/Love keeps us Kind&rdquo;<br /><br /><strong>1. Steel Train</strong> &ndash; When Steel Train got signed to Drive-Thru records, my friends and I couldn&rsquo;t understand why. They weren&rsquo;t the right sound for Drive-Thru; though I did enjoy their music. But I never really followed them or paid them much attention until Geekscape started raving about them. Even then I didn&rsquo;t listen to them, they were just on my radar; but then I went to San Diego Comic Con Trip&hellip; and Steel Train was the music for the ride home. After that I burnt a copy from Jonathan&hellip; then I went out and bought a copy, then a bought my FRIEND a copy. It was catchy, bizarre and most importantly a unique game changer for both the band and folk-indie rock. <br /><br /><br />WORST ALBUM OF THE YEAR:<br /><strong>Punk Goes Pop Volume 3</strong> &ndash; I loved the original punk goes pop album; since fearless has been getting increasingly worse. This may be the lowest it&rsquo;s ever gonna get. Songs are quite literally UNBEARABLE. Most of the songs are songs I&rsquo;ve never even cared about. The album only positive aspect is it makes you appreciate the shitty original versions. Most of these bands are really punk bands (more screamo or hardcore) and most of these songs aren&rsquo;t Pop songs (it&rsquo;s mostly rap covers) so the title is really misleading as well.<br /><br /></p>

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<p>Here are the Geekscape Year in Review articles for 2010.</p>
<h2 style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”>Music</h2>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><a title=”Best music singles 2010″ href=”../../../geekscape-year-in-review-top-12-songs-of-2010.html”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Geekscape Year in Review: The Best Singles of 2010</span></a></p>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”><a title=”Geekscape’s Top Ten Albums of 2010″ href=”../../../geekscape-s-top-10-albums-of-2010.html”>The Best Albums of 2010</a><br /></span></p>
<h2 style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Comics <br /></span></h2>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><a title=”best comics of 2010″ href=”../../../geekscape-s-best-comics-of-2010.html”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Geekscape’s Favorite Comics of 2010</span></a><span style=”text-decoration: underline;”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”><br /></span></span></p>
<h2>Television</h2>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>&nbsp;</span><a href=”../../../geekscape-s-favorite-tv-shows-of-2010.html”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Geekscape’s Favorite TV shows of 2010</span></a></p>
<h2 style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”>Video Games</h2>
<p style=”margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;”><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”><a href=”../../../geekscape-year-in-review-geekscsape-s-favorite-games-of-2010.html”>Geekscape’s&nbsp; Favorite Video Games of 2010</a><br /></span></p>
<h2><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Movies</span></h2>
<p><span style=”font-size: 14pt;”><a href=”../../../geekscape-year-in-review-our-favorite-movies-of-2010.html”>Geekscape’s favorite movies of 2010</a><br /></span></p>
<p>

 

I owe Blake Edwards quite a bit. The legendary director passed away this week and it caught me a bit by surprise. I love Blake Edwards films. His work with Peter Sellers in the Party and the Pink Panther films proves how much you can accomplish in a true collaboration. From Breakfast at Tiffany’s to “10”, there isn’t a single Blake Edwards film that I can honestly say I don’t enjoy to one degree or another.

Edwards started as a writer in radio. He caught a lucky break when Orson Welles brought him on to help write “The War of the Worlds” in 1938. He’s credited with coming up with the classic line, “They’re here, and they’re hungry.” His gifts to sci-fi and geekdom in that regard alone are plentiful. I’m looking at you Critters.

Edwards was able to infuse all of his movies with a sense of “what can I get away with.” He was never pushing the envelope, so to speak. He was just generally trying to see what absurdity or off handed offense he could slip in without anyone noticing. His triumph in that regard is S.O.B. a loosely auto-biographical satire about Edwards contentious relationship with Paramount during the making of Darling Lili. Edwards throws so many Hollywood in-jokes and personal asides at you that the movie is almost too much. It’s also the movie where he convinces his wife, Julie Andrews of Sound of Music fame, to go topless in grand fashion. The musical number where she bares it all is surreal (intentionally so.)

 

His movies in the ‘80s were great depictions of men (okay Dudley Moore) trying to make a commitment. The imagery of Bo Derek in “10” is still there in people’s minds all these years later. I don’t know any male who hasn’t fantasized about Bo Derek wearing corn rows. If you haven’t, then you just haven’t seen “10.”

Now, as to why I owe a huge debt to Blake Edwards. It’s not for all the fun sexy imagery he filled the screen with, thought it’s appreciated. And as much as I love the films, I can’t say the Pink Panther is the reason I love comedy. Blake Edwards is in a tiny way, responsible for me being able to think for myself and realize I needed to form my own opinion about movies (and other topics as well).

 

In 1991 Edwards made Switch, a film where a womanizing playboy dies and comes back to life as a hot woman. (Ellen Barkin) I was watching it with my parents when I was around 12, it had already been out for a couple of years. In the film the formerly male Ellen Barkin attempts to find her way in her new life, tries lesbianism and fails, and ends up falling in love with a man. My parents freaked out. The “Switch” in the film, to my parents, had essentially made Ellen Barkin’s character gay. They then turned off the movie and told me it was garbage.

At the time, some of the concepts in Switch were over my head, I was only 12. But I remember not thinking it was garbage. I thought Ellen Barkin was really funny pretending to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. I remember laughing. Switch is not Edwards best film, but it is the one time I remember thinking, “What’s the big fucking deal?”

From that point on I learned not to trust my parents taste in movies, they saw garbage when I saw entertainment; they saw immorality when I saw someone finding love. Switch became the lynch pin in my fight against censorship in my house hold. “But WHY can’t I watch it?” “Why is it garbage?” “It seemed okay to me.”

This fight led to me question other weird bannings in my household. My parents had banned both Married with Children and the Simpsons as they viewed them as a “bad influence.” Interestingly enough, we all look back on those shows now with nostalgia and consider them decent family shows, but at the time they constantly caused an uproar, especially Bart Simpson as a bad influence on kids.

I essentially picked all of my own rentals from then on and started watching movies I knew my parents would object to alone on Sunday mornings when I would convince my mom to let me skip church. I’m pretty sure they all thought I was trying to get out of it to masterbate anyway. I was only 13 by the time I earnestly started getting into movies. My oldest sister had gotten her license, so I made her take me to the movies every chance we got. This is also how a life long friendship formed between me and my sister Shelley, we bonded over movies that our parents would have never let us watch had we told them what we were going to see.

Looking back, Switch is one of the first movies to make me wonder what else was out there. “You mean I can watch more than Disney and Ninja Turtles.”  Blake Edwards made some incredible films, but it was his mediocre one that helped put me on my path to acquiring decent taste. If not for Switch, who knows what brilliance I would consider garbage and what travesty would be gold. I would never call Blake Edwards a personal hero or idol. And I’m definitely not putting his film Switch above my parents. But Blake Edwards made a film that steered me toward an open mind, and the least I can do is thank him for it.

ZomBCon, the premiere zombie convention being held this Halloween in Seattle, is announcing today that newly ordained minister Bruce Campbell will be officiating a zombie wedding at the inaugural convention. While only one couple is going to be lucky enough to be married by Campbell, he will also be officiating a mass renewal ceremony, for those zombies that didn’t get to do it right the first time. He might be reading from the Necronomicon so be warned… There might be Deadite shenanigans.

 

 

ZomBCon is shaping up to be the pop culture experience of the fall. Not only can you meet Bruce Campbell and see him in his brilliance as Ash in a new print of Evil Dead, you can remind yourself of why you fell in love with someone by remarrying them with Bruce Campbell as your guide. Speaking of guides, Bruce will also be featured at the Geekscape panel “How to kill zombies the Bruce Campbell way” hosted by Jonathan London and Brian Walton.

To find out more about Zombcon check out www.zombcon.com

Now Hail to the King, baby!

RECENT ADDITION: Ted Raimi WILL be the altar boy at the wedding. We are 100% not shitting you. Get your tickets NOW! You do NOT want to miss this!

 

When I was 9 years old, I got to spend an hour waiting in line to see this movie that everyone had been talking about all summer: Star Wars. It wasn’t just the start of my love affair with the Empire and the Republic, it was the start of a new way of life, waiting in line to get my nerd on.

Fast forward to my first FanExpo in 1998. Having spent many an hour in line at opening nights for the likes of The Empire Strikes Back and E.T., I knew enough to show up early. We got there relatively early and waited for about an hour and a half to get in and walk around amongst a lot of comic shop displays and artists signing their work.

The thing that really got me though was that I was finally in attendance at a venue with the population of some of the smaller musical festivals that I used to go to. I was finally in the company of a vast number of people who were geeks just like me. Not only were they like me in their nerdy tastes, some of them loved this stuff so much they even dressed up as their favorite characters. This was totally foreign to me outside of Halloween costumes.

That was it. I had had my first taste — I was hooked on geek fan festivals, Toronto’s answer to Comic-Con.

The trouble is that each year these FanExpo events have grown exponentially. It’s a double-edged sword — it’s great to have more fans show up because the Cosplay gets more and more interesting each year but two years ago it took me three and a half hours to buy my ticket and gain entrance.

This past Saturday when I went to this year’s FanExpo, the line must have been about a third of a mile long. I mouthed under my breath: “I’m getting too old for this $#!+”. The saving grace was that I was blessed with a media pass via Geekscape, and what a godsend that was. In sharp contrast, I spoke with Sylvain and Roxy of Ottawa who had spent $40 each on gas for the five-hour drive and provisions along with a carload of other people and were couch surfing their way through the weekend, only to face a line of two and half hours. You add that along with the 6 hour car ride and they were pretty tired for their first day of Fan Expo.

I’d already set up a meet with some friends I know at torontothumbs.com. They were holding interviews with the folks from the Aliens booth, the Tron booth and others. Also they were meeting up with a torontothumbs.com alumni Shaun Hatton who is now a Reviews on the Run guy.

They’d set up shop at the G4 booth, and what a set up. I couldn’t believe it — they had people lining up for 30 minutes just to talk to them and have their pictures taken with them. I was thinking of saying hi, but not at the expense of a 30-minute lineup.

I was reminded of something I’d read about music TV journalists who cover music celebs and end up being elevated to the same level of celebrity as those that they would cover. The journalists ended up with as much if not more screen time as the musicians. It left the viewers with the illusion that the journalist and musician were equals. No, I don’t mean on some karmic level. I mean in terms of celebrity.

Reviews on the Run had the same lineup as Ernest Borgnine. Ernest frickin Borgnine of Ice Station Zebra fame, Ernest Borgnine, of Black Hole fame. The guy’s resume reads like a film history course curriculum. Well, maybe from a course on Ernest Borgnine, but you get my point. 

Geek culture has made that leap now. Certainly videogame programmers and designers like John Romero and Alice McGee had been living rock star lifestyles, but now we are seeing the addition of geek journalists to go along with them. And we geeks will wait in line for them along with so many other things.

The lineups seemed endless, no matter where we went. I caught up with Jorge Figueiredo, also of torontothumbs.com, while he was in line for a coffee. 15 minutes in line for a coffee and it wasn’t even like it was a good coffee. I spent 10 minutes in line at the only significant t-shirt sales place just to get an Atari wrist band.

I’m a sucker for a line and the one thing that FanExpo has taught me is that we geeks are an easy mark right now and marketing firms need to take more notice. We’ve got some dough to spend and, yes, we’ll wait in line.

Frank West is an idiot. In the original Dead Rising, Frank decides he wants the story of the century and gets himself flown into the middle of a zombie outbreak. Good idea, Frank! As much fun as the original Dead Rising was to play, I never warmed to the idea that this guy was in the middle of this mess for very selfish reasons. When Capcom announced Frank was being replaced with Chuck Greene, an extreme sports action type, I thought we were going to get more of the same in a different package. After playing through Dead Rising 2’s demo/prequel “Case 0”, I am happy to report that selfish protagonists is not the story here.

 

 

Case 0 starts with new protagonist Chuck pulling into a small town outside of Las Vegas called Still Creek, he needs to gas up and get some supplies for his daughter. It is revealed at the outset that his daughter has been bitten and needs to get a shot of the experimental Zombrex every 12 hours to put off turning into a zombie. Zombrex, I’m assuming, is a pharmaceutical grade version of the cocktail Frank West has to inject in the original Dead Rising.

 

Just from the brief intro, I already like where the story and character of Chuck Greene are headed. Frank West had no personal stake in the original outbreak. This time out you have a daughter to protect and keep safe, and to be honest, I totally bought in. Chuck’s truck is stolen in the opening moments and you are stranded in the infested town. Without a car and the drugs his daughter needs, Chuck knows he has to find a way out of town, or she’s done for. The prequel’s major component is rebuilding a dirt bike so that you can get your daughter to safety before the military quarantine arrives and takes her away. Along the way you have to save civilians, build weapons, and of course, kill massive amounts of zombies. You end up running into a variety of survivors. Just like the first time, they are counting on you to lead them to safety, but luckily (at least in this prequel) the survivors don’t seem as useless as they did before, and you can now kick zombies away if you have to carry a survivor.

 

 

 

The new combo weapon functionality is really fun, but the time limit that you’re on to complete the bike doesn’t leave a lot of time for exploration and experimentation. There are 8 custom weapons you can build in this demo, but according to Capcom their will are dozens more in the full game. I had a lot of fun with the “boomstick”. And the Psychopaths are returning as well. This time though they may not seem as crazy. For example, the lone psycho in Case 0 isn’t just a nut trying to kill you. He’s a redneck who’s aware your daughter has been bitten and wants to be the guy to put her down. You definitely have more at stake in DR2.

 

For those of you that turned off the original Dead Rising quickly because of having to travel all the way back to the safe house to save, your fits of rage have been heard. Capcom has made bathrooms the new save point and they are littered across the landscape. There will always be a convenient save point somewhere nearby. The addition of the pawn shop isn’t great, as part of the appeal of the first game was being able to steal whatever you wanted to kill with, as long as you knew the right store to go to.

 

Case 0 has gone a long way in convincing me that Dead Rising 2 will be a major improvement over the original. It has fixed or improved all of the major griping points most gamers had with the original (saves, useless survivors) and is telling what feels like a much richer and engrossing story. The prequel is definitely worth the 800 XBLA points and you get to carry over all of your stats to the full game when it releases later this month.

As we watch this week’s “soon to be famous” Eureka/Warehouse13 crossover event (starting tonight on Warehouse 13 and continuing this Friday on Eureka), I think it is time to speculate on what other TV and movie (and maybe even comic book) properties would do well to drop in on our friends at the Warehouse.

I probably should clear a few things up though…

When I say “crossover” I’m really only gonna talk about the Warehouse 13 side of that event. I guess I’m really suggesting “guest stars” but if it went the other way and Artie showed his face on some other show… would I complain? No. No, I would not, sir. Dreaming up our favorite potential crossovers is what we fanboys do best!

Also, even though this is a “Top 10”, I’ve organized it in order of viability, which is to say that I put active SyFy properties first, and more outlandish, outdated or cost ineffective ideas later. So its really just a “10” list… but that’s not nearly as commercial a blog title so live with it.

If you have any other ideas on dream crossovers (not including The Globetrotters), post a comment below. I’m totally willing to hear more. And as it would be a minor miracle for any of these proposed crossovers to happen… well its not like I can say anyone’s idea is less feasible then any other! So here we go:

 

Sanctuary

Ok, here’s a great show with almost the exact same premise, but just replace abnormals with artifacts and you have a show about finding a “thing” and bringing it back to the “place”. So why not have two things, one alive, and one an object and both teams bump into each other while in pursuit? Considering that the fan-tactular response to anything Amanda Tapping does on SyFy (she has a show next season where she just reads the phonebook) well… it’s a good idea! I’m not sure television could even support this, but it could even be a 2-part 2-sided episode, continued from one show to the other, and thus cross the audience… OR just piss people off. Anyway, a Pete and Helen Magnus love angle would make some internet oooohs and awes… and Claudia could ramp up some of the Sanctuary’s non-lethal weapons. I’m already down.

 

Caprica

CALM DOWN! I know that this seems impossible, but let me talk you through it. If Caprica is the prequel to Battlestar Gallactica and Battlestar Gallactica ostensibly ends with the crew (and SOME of their stuff) landing on early human Earth… well that means we have an abstract connection. So an artifact that’s a robot head that projects a beautiful girl hologram and gives advice (and takes over machines or something) is still viable, right? Honestly, I just think that Zoe and Claudia deserve some screen time to pal around and compare their fractured family lives. Now, obviously it takes twenty steps to get there… but I, for one, think it would be worth it. A Caprica/Battlestar Gallactica artifact, even if it’s just on a shelf in the warehouse is a must in my book. A MUST!

 

Haven

This show is just starting out, so a crossover could only do it some good. I think I’m more interested in the producers “crossing over” the cast with people who speak with authentic Maine accents… but I digress. Dragging the warehousers (is that right?) out to the town of Haven and having them bump heads with all of the interesting (if wildly inaccurate) Maine characters… Hell, we could probably see a Warehouse 13, Haven AND Sanctuary crossover at some point. Claudia and Audrey could talk about not knowing their parents… and Myka and Nathan could do a little “I can’t feel” twisted romance. This is, of course, assuming that Haven lasts long enough to make this possible. Everyone should check out some later episodes of this show. It is Stephen King inspired, and that counts for something.

 

Stargate Universe

While I love SG-U, this is mostly a crossover with Eli, who deserves to get as much screen time as anyone in the SyFy extended show universe. David Blue ROCKS this role, and I’d love to see him in the Warehouse. Of course he’d be there in somebody else’s body (via communication stones) but we’d still get his unique whit. Its reasonable to assume that this is something Stargate Command might want and could ALSO be in the sights of the Warehouse. This is a good chance to really push Eli as a character with his ability to pretend to be somebody else. Perhaps he’d act around Myka and Claudia in a way he would always have hoped to, had he been a different person. If not in a crossover, I kinda want to see David Blue stretched with that type of acting endeavor sometime soon. To be fair, I like his acting enough that I’d have him on the show outside of continuity as some random walk on character… so hashtag #DavidBlueOnW13 if you get a chance.

 

Sharktopus

Wow, my spell-check didn’t like that one (editor’s note: or the rest of your article). Anyways, I haven’t seen all of Sharktopus yet, but what I was able to watch at Comic Con makes me think that Sharktopus is probably the coolest thing to happen since Saber-Toothed-Eagle or some other hybrid movie. I can’t help but wonder if the creator of the Hippogryph sued for copywrite infringement. ANYWAYS (again), I’m not going to give you too much on this one. But take the famous Jaws “we’re gonna need a bigger boat” moment and insert ANY Warehouse 13 cast member, and tell me you wouldn’t pay $$$ (or sit through a bunch of ads) to see that! I see Artie looking over the edge of a pier while waiting for Claudia to get back in order to continue looking for the artifact and under the water swims Sharktopus and… GOLD! It’s fucking GOLD!

 

House

Ok, now we’ve clearly jumped off the SyFy wagon and into the rest of television. So this probably can’t happen even if we wanted it too, but when a good friend (gamer-girl Cricket Lee) suggested it, well I couldn’t say no. It’s too amazing to consider a scene in which the great Dr. House and Artie go at it over some minor quibble while Claudia looks back and forth like she’s watching a tennis match. Plus a medical drama and a procedural drama fit together well!

 

Fringe

Here we are, still in a land of impossibility, and yet everything is called impossible until it becomes possible. These two shows have enough in common that it would be cool to see the teams play off each other in pursuit of a common goal. A little friendly competition between the teams would be pretty fun to watch, with both frantically calling back to their respective Arties and Walters to see if they have stopped pontificating in order to become any sort of help. Peter and Pete could take turns trying to one-up each other in a competition of brazenness. Oh, the things we’ll never see.

 

Brimstone/Dresden Files

These two canceled SyFy shows would be even harder to crossover with… because they’re canceled. Still, their collectively good dynamics with a strong lead and even stronger mythos make them great fodder for a crossover. These two shows more then anything seem to be a good backdrop for the Warehousers (I’m determined to make this term work) to travel to, but not necessarily the other way around. Imagine Pete in Dresden’s workshop playing with the hockey stick or Myka going on a date with Ezekial Stone only to find out he only has the… what was it? Under $20 he had left in his wallet at time of death? The careful folks in the Warehouse 13 props department should get the car from Brimstone and the Hockey Stick from Dresden files into the warehouse stacks someplace at the very least. Also add to your tweetouts #BringBackDresden and #BringBackBrimstone! Can ANYONE actually tell me a devil that has been played better then John Glover? Also is John Glover available? I mean for drinks. I LOVE THAT GUY!

 

Farscape

Oh the heads that just spun from that one. If you remember your extended Farscape canon, the crew DID visit earth in our time for a bit (Editor’s note: Of course I remember… I named the website after this show!). I wouldn’t suggest a pure mixing of story lines, but John Crichton being the guy who gets involved with the Warehousers but seems to be a little too cool and skeptical with the supernatural would be great. Hell, it could even be Ben Browder’s Stargate character and it would accomplish the same feel! Really, what I am saying is that Ben Browder needs to visit the Warehouse! Come on, SyFy! You LOVE to keep it in the family! Just keep on keeping in! Claudia Black could use some attention to… and she’s just as amazing! I kind of have a crush on Claudia Black… and a man crush on Ben Browder. Best 3 way ever? Oh wait… did that get creepy?

 

The Lost Room

If you didn’t see this one coming then I’m surprised. This mini-series, which clearly draws from a very similar wheelhouse to the Warehouse 13 universe, is both the most and least applicable crossover. It’s a good idea because it deals so much with the same topics that the characters and ideas fully translate. It’s a BAD idea because each plot muddies the other, and the real history and effect of the artifacts/objects is a little less clear after such an event. It wouldn’t be all that hard to do, and some of the characters, like perhaps Margaret Cho’s “finder of objects” could guest in, and not really be all that disruptive. The idea that the “room” or the “key” could somehow be artifacts based on the W13 rules is a harder sell. As a long standing SyFy fan I would probably like to see it referenced somehow, if only as a stab to the critics who think any two similar ideas must somehow be derivative of the other. The Warehouse 13 prop masters should have at least one hotel key on the shelves, if just as a “fuck you” to the haters.

Not mentioned here: While a full on crossover is not possible, I would say that some great shows of the past at least deserve a cast or item reference in the warehouse. I wouldn’t mind a WNYX or WKRP microphone at some point or maybe one of the cast of the Friday the 13th television show could guest (btw, the Friday the 13th / Warehouse 13 thing… we should talk about). Either way, with the amount of dialogue based references to the rest of pop culture, we’ll take actors and items too. You gave us a Firefly reunion so lets keep pulling.

I act like I am talking directly to the controlling factors of the shows here… but maybe I am in the fans and Warehouse loyalists that are reading.

None of this would be possible in the first place, of course, if Warehouse 13 wasn’t amazing, and didn’t provide a sandbox that is open to play from all sides. Crossovers, references, guest spots or not, it’ll be watch-able and interesting for seasons to come. I continue to wonder who and what the characters will hide on those shelves as we pan across so quickly. I’ll obviously be watching to find out.

So those are my 10 shows I want to see crossed over with the Warehousers (is that 3 or 4 times that I’ve used that?). What do you all think? If you do one thing after reading this, it should be to tweet #AllisonScag4Cassie.

If you watch Geekscape, you know what this is all about. And if not, do it anyways.

If you do TWO things? You should comment on this article, AND THEN tweet #AllisonScag4Cassie.

If you do THREE things… you should tweet out some of the hash tags I invented here (add an @SaxCarr so my insecure ass can I see) and THEN comment on this blog, and THEN tweet out #AllisonScag4Cassie!

If you do FOUR things, you need a life… but then again, I’m the one daydreaming about crossovers that may never be realized.

Yours in Red Lantern-esque anger directed towards pop culture: Sax Carr.

As a kid I, like most of us, heard many urban legends. I heard everything from Bloody Mary to the gang that would drive around with its headlights off. If you bright lighted them they would turn around and drive you off the road. Nearly every time, the story was followed by a declaration of, “It’s true, it happened to my cousin.” On Staten Island, New York, they had a local one of these legends too, but theirs was real.Its (his) name was Cropsey.

Cropsey was an escaped mental patient who would snatch kids who went into his woods or strayed too far from where they were supposed to go. For years parents and camp counselors would tell the story of Cropsey to either scare children or keep them from going someplace they shouldn’t. But in 1987, after the disappearance of a little girl, Staten Island’s boogey man became all too real.

 

 

Cropsey is a documentary chronicling both the urban legend that Staten Island children had driven into their minds by adults telling scary stories, and the real life tragedy surrounding four missing kids and a mentally disturbed man named Andre Rand.

Rand was an orderly at the Willowbrook mental institution on Staten Island. The facility was shut down in the late 70’s but Rand continued to live in the woods surrounding the facility in make shift camp sites. In 1987 a young girl with down syndrome name Jennifer Schweiger went missing. Rand was the only suspect.  As investigators continued searching, more missing children cases began surfacing. Eventually it was suspected that at least four other missing person cases were associated with Andre Rand. While there was never any physical evidence linking him to the crime, Andre Rand was found guilty of the kidnapping of Jennifer Schweiger.

Directors Josh Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio both grew up on Staten Island. When they first met their conversations led to them discussing the urban legend of Cropsey. At the time they began exploring this legend for a documentary, the district attorney announced he was bringing charges against Andre Rand for the kidnapping of Holly Ann Hughes, 22 years after she went missing. The documentarians now had a new focus and a new zeal. Weaving together the history of the urban legend, archival footage from the 80’s, modern interviews and news footage of the latest trial, the filmmakers manage to orchestrate many working parts into a seamless narrative that grips you for the entirety of the film.

 

Volunteers and police searching tunnel systems for missing children.

 

Cropsey is being marketed as a horror documentary. In some ways this is a very true statement. I found myself petrified during certain segments, not so much out of fear, but disgust. The directors of Cropsey use the documentary format to draw out emotions and make very real connections with the subject matter. It is those emotions that are being drudged up that lead to the horror and pain in your gut. This is the best psychological horror film you will see this summer. And if you’re a parent, forget about it, it may be too much.

Using archival footage and interviews with people involved in the cases, the filmmakers reveal quite a bit about Staten Island: the history of a very poorly run New York mental health facility (thanks to a pre-fame Geraldo Rivera expose that will stick with you long after the film is over), and even a primer on how easily you can turn public opinion with a well timed perp walk.

The film also explores many of the different theories people have about the kidnappings. Many believe Rand worked alone, while some suggest he had partners that helped him move the children through the tunnels beneath the abandoned mental hospital, while still others suggest he was procuring children for satanic rituals for a cult involved in the Son of Sam killings of David Berkowitz. The filmmakers do an excellent job of tying the theories into the telling of the various abduction cases, so the film rarely gets stale.

 

Documentaries are an opportunity to enlighten and educate. Cropsey does that, while still maintaining a narrative, something many other documentaries lose sight of. It also manages to do something few documentaries feel the need to do: remain slightly ambiguous. Most documentaries I have seen the past few years beat me over the head with an agenda, not the case here. The filmmakers have present good arguments on both sides of the issue. Is Andre Rand an evil murderer? Possibly, but the filmmakers do an excellent job of turning that back around and asking, “Was Andre Rand the wrong type of guy, at the wrong place, at the wrong time?” In this particular case it works to their advantage.

 

The only victim whose body was found, Jennifer Schweiger.

Cropsey is a must see documentary. Not because of the over sensationalized “horror” aspects, but because it’s entertaining and compelling. The film invites discussion. It wants you to think about it. You don’t leave the theater thinking about what you thought of the film, you leave thinking about what you thought of its subject matter, and that’s a win. Josh Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio have made a great film, and I hope you guys take the time to see it.

 

 Below you’ll find an interview I was able to do with Cropsey co-director Josh Zeman. He gives some great insights into the making of the doc. The film is available On Demand through your cable operator through August 12th.

Is there a pop culture conundrum more absurdly pointless than Team Edward vs. Team Jacob? Well, let’s consider what it is that they’re vying over. For whatever reason, both of these guys have lives that revolve around Twilight’s heroine Bella. And while I agree it’s nice that a female character is the center of attention in a fantasy franchise, what narrative function does she serve? All she basically ever does is get yanked around by her emotions over these two guys. Her life gets put in danger because of her involvement with one of them, they both work to protect her because of it, and they each drag their respective families/communities into the quagmire.

And who is Bella, exactly? What does she do that’s so great?

Um, not much really. She wants Edward, she wants to be with Edward, she gets to be with Edward (lying in a picturesque field of flowers, no less), she tries to persuade Edward to both take her virginity and make her a vampire, both of which Edward is unwilling to do. She flirts with Jacob, she refuses Jacob, she’s attracted to Jacob, she rejects Jacob because of Edward. She exists to pine over the objects of her affection, to be placed in danger, and to be squabbled over by them.

Her big contribution to the fight in the latest movie’s climax? She cuts herself so the blood will distract the vampires about to kill Edward. Yes, her big strategy is to bleed for attention.

Let’s all take a step back and a deep breath and appreciate the fact that in a major Hollywood picture a teenaged girl solves a problem by cutting herself.

Aaaaaaaand…moving on.

There’s one scene in the latest movie that perfectly illustrates my whole problem with the franchise. Edward and Jacob take Bella up the side of a mountain to hide her from the evil vampires who are coming. Of course none of them thought to check a weather forecast, or to remember that mountaintops are naturally colder than the surrounding landscape, so when a storm shows up, Bella starts to freeze. In the tent, room temperature Edward can’t warm her, so hot shirtless Jacob (seriously, it’s a driving blizzard and he is, in fact, shirtless) crawls into her sleeping bag to warm her up.

What’s truly ridiculous is that after climbing in with her, Jacob and Edward have a lengthy discussion about which of them is right for her. For about ten minutes. They have a calm, reasoned argument with her lying asleep between them. They somehow manage to not wake her up with a lengthy discussion about her and how much they love her and who should be with her.

We’ve crossed the line into full blown fantasy here, where the impossibly hot ciphers argue over who gets to bed the insipid wellspring of eternal need.

In the world of Twilight, Team Jacob and Team Edward make sense. For the rest of us who look at things in a broader context, let’s look at some teams that we might actually want to join. Bella may like these two prancing lightweights, but the rest of us deserve better, don’t you think?

 

Team Spike

As Seen In: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Look: Post modern Billy Idol in a cool leather trench coat.
Fun Factor: Whether he has a soul or not, Spike is probably the most fun creature of the night on this list. Whether he’s drinking from the neck of a whiskey bottle or a virgin, he drinks HARD. Which is pretty much how he likes to do everything. Pop-culture savvy, witty, and possessing a wicked sense of humor, Spike treats the world like it’s one gigantic pub crawl, complete with bar fights. Try and keep up.
Badass Level: Scrapper. Not an especially elegant or refined fighter, Spike comes off like the world’s greatest soccer hooligan. He fights largely for the enjoyment of it, but is in it to win it. Which he usually does.
Appeal: To quote the Buffybot: ‘You should see him naked. I mean, really.’ Factor in a less vanilla persona that reaches from broken furniture to handcuffs (for those who like that sort of thing) and Edward comes off like a game of Parcheesi in the church rec center by comparison. He’s also quite devoted when he develops affection for someone, the kind of guy who’d literally kill for or die for the right girl. Emphasis on literally. Also writes poetry.
Drawbacks: Can you say ‘perpetually hung up on ex-girlfriends?’ Spike could, but he’s too busy moping over one of them to lift his head. As much as he likes to tear around like he doesn’t care about anything, Spike gets seriously hung up on women. Drinking binges, stalking, and trashy, meaningless rebound sex (sorry, Harmony) are frequent. Also writes poetry.

 

Team Blade

As Seen In: Blade, Blade II, Blade Trinity
Look: Swat team gearhead wrapped up in a black overcoat and Celtic tribal body art.
Fun Factor: Blade doesn’t have much time for fun, but he’s not without a sense of humor. But, as the self-appointed scourge of the vampire underworld, that sense of humor tends to be pretty nasty, and includes things like trick sword handles that slice your fingers off. So unless you’re along for the ride to help him pop as many suckheads as he can, don’t expect to have too good a time.
Badass Level: Ultimate. Seriously, if it’s undead, Blade will find a way to kill it. If that way doesn’t exist, he’ll invent it. He’s tricked out with an arsenal that gets Soldier of Fortune editors half-mast just at hearing his name. Guns, swords, stakes, his bare hands – Blade has no shortage of tools or talent to take out his opponents.
Appeal: Grim and gritty in that Clint Eastwood kind of way. Supremely confident and capable, and literally doesn’t give a crap what anybody thinks, which can be appealing. Plus, if you have any kind of a weapon fetish, you’re set.
Drawbacks: Like most men, Blade only has one thing on his mind. Unlike most men, that one thing is killing vampires. No time for love, hell, no time for sleep even, which precludes him owning a bed. You can do the math.

 

Team Eric

As Seen In: True Blood
Look: Former Viking turned immortal CK model.
Fun Factor: Not afraid to live up (or perhaps down) to people’s expectations, Eric knows how to sell sleaze and fetishism. As a specialty vampire fetish nightclub owner, sleaze and twisted sex are his business, and business is good. Whether you enjoy it on its own merits or as tongue in cheek trash, Eric brings the kink.
Badass Level: Largely a schemer and a conniver, Eric still isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty or his hair mussed when the occasion calls for it. A businessman and community leader, Eric usually prefers to let his minions or social pressure do the heavy lifting. But he isn’t above ripping the head off of some dopey human. Especially one that messes up his highlights.
Appeal: A user and abuser, for those who like that sort of thing. Another non-vanilla type, typical relationship patterns seem to include banging girls senseless, drinking their blood, having them drink some of his, sharing them with his vampire pals, forgetting their name, never calling them, and periodically re-using them until they walk away or get used up. The latter of which may involve dying. It seems there may be a few people that Eric DOES in fact care about, but that list can probably be counted on the fingers of one hand. Again, some people find that kind of thing attractive.
Drawbacks: Totally self-centered and possesses complete disdain for those he considers inferior. Which is pretty much everyone.

 

Team Severen

As Seen In: Near Dark
Look: Okie shitkicker badass/Mickey Knox prototype.
Fun Factor: Depends on what you call fun. If your definition includes running from the law in winnebagos, mass murder, burning down buildings, and raging gunfights, get ready for a hoot and a half.
Badass Level: Stone-cold nearly indestructible psycho. Will slit your throat for a giggle, a pint, or preferably both. A bit of a bully, but still courageous when facing bad odds. Hard as nails, vicious, and has a violent flair to his kills. Run him over with a semi and he’ll claw his way up the grille to get at you. Pull a gun on him and he’ll slit your throat with his boot spurs.
Appeal: Charming and cocky, the kind of guy who’d probably make a good drinking buddy, provided you like O-positive. Naturally contemptuous and superior to most other people, being accepted by him takes work, and feels validating. Loyal to only the immediate members of his little vampire coven, and lethal to everyone else, being his partner gets you a supremely confident and dangerous ally.
Drawbacks: Not above picking fights with the weak and ignorant, in fact, it’s what he prefers. A natural sadist, Severen takes pleasure in abusing anyone he considers weaker than him, which is most folks. Will rip open the neck of the skuzziest barfly and then complain the guy didn’t shave.

 

Team David

As Seen In: An American Werewolf In London
Look: Early 80s middle class collegiate Semitic East Coaster.
Fun Factor: Glib, witty, and entertaining, David’s a nice, good natured schnook with a run of genuinely abysmal luck. When the chips are up he’s good company. When they’re not expect to put up with a lot of whingeing.
Badass Level: When human? Kind of like a young Albert Brooks. During a full moon? Walking death to anyone he comes across. Worse still, those David kills and (presumably) partially consumes are damned to walk the Earth as the ghosts of slowly rotting corpses until he himself dies or is killed. In short, this guy is such bad news he will continue to ruin your shit AFTER he kills you.
Appeal: Intelligent, youthful and charming, David is a solid-seeming future middle-classer with good white collar prospects. He’s not the hottest thing on Earth, but he’s intelligent, educated, and in shape. He also has some deep seated neuroses and personal traumas, so if you’re the Florence Nightingale type that loves to console and psychoanalyze, this is your guy.
Drawbacks: Rampant paranoia, and recurring vivid nightmares, so be ready for lots of crazy mood shifts and sleepless nights. Plus, on those mornings after his monthly episodes, count on the awkwardness of having to bring him clothes to wherever he actually wakes up.

 

Team Jerry

As Seen In: Fright Night
Look: 80s yuppie-style prince of darkness
Fun Factor: Provided you don’t know who or what he is, Jerry could probably be considered to be a fairly good time until he sinks his teeth into you. A snappy dresser and a swell dancer, affable enough when you first meet him, and Reagan-era slick.
Badass Level: Immortal bloodsucker. Here to make corpses, not friends. Will steal your girlfriend, drink her dry, then have his zombie henchman leave her headless corpse behind a dumpster. If you’re lucky. If you’re not, expect to see her come at you with yellow eyes and a malformed jaw some dark night.
Appeal: All surface and not much else, but that surface is immaculately coiffed, manicured, and dressed. The real seduce and destroy type (literally), charming and ingratiating without ever being too forceful about it. Collects conquests over centuries, so being singled out for his attention could be kind of flattering, which again, is part of his game. Charismatic in the most sociopathic way possible, though some of that is probably attributable to a talent for hypnosis. But if it works, does it matter?
Drawbacks: Jerry gets extremely ugly when he gets angry. LITERALLY. Goes from normal to fugly in seconds, and when he does he makes Max Shrek look pretty. Only cares about his own needs, and objectifies pretty much everyone.

 

Team Oz

As Seen In: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Look: 90’s indie rock street cred with a smattering of geek chic.
Fun Factor: Oz is a laid back good time, the kind of guy who says maybe one or two sentences over the course of an evening, but they’re usually hilarious and worth the wait.
Badass Level: Not exactly tearing his way through the underworld, but a game and willing fighter for the good guys 27 nights out of the month. The other three, he lives under lock and key. A good lock and the occasional tranquilizer dart are enough to keep him in the kennel most times.
Appeal: Plays guitar. Not great, but well enough. Effortless looking hair. Laconic, but witty in small, pithy doses, Oz epitomizes a kind of ‘quiet cool’ with supreme ease and quiet confidence. Or something. Loyal, courageous, and affectionate. Yes, we know, like a dog.
Drawbacks: That dog? It’s a Pekingese. Oz stands at 5’4”. Also, not always so loyal. Let him get a sniff of another of his breed and it’ll be someone else’s leg he starts to hump.

For several years now, the film studios have been pushing the summer movie season further and further into spring. The unofficial start of summer blockbusters is now the first weekend of May. This has caused something of quandary around the Geekscape Secret Headquarters as we have all been left scratching our heads asking, “What else is there?” With the official start of the summer season still three weeks away, we feel as though we’ve already milked Hollywood for the blockbusters we’re going to get. But have hope dear ‘Scapists, Geekscape has you covered for what’s still to come in movies this summer season.

SPLICE

This thriller hits screens Friday and has the potential to be the sleeper hit of the summer. Two scientists (Sarah Polley and Adrian Brody) defy ethical and moral boundaries when conducting a cloning experiment using human and animal dna. The creature, named Dren, grows to resemble a chimera and when threatened turns on her creators.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:

Did you watch the above trailer? The creature effects look gorgeous. Plus, Sarah Polley showed us all she’s got mad skills in genre movies, making the unbelievable seem palatable and real. Adrian Brody is no slouch. While he may not have been great in King Kong, he has one of those, what do you call them? Oh Yeah, Oscars. It will be interesting to see him in a sci-fi movie now so we can get a bit of a preview of what to expect in Predators. (See: Related item in this article.)

THE A-TEAM

Bringing back the band of misfits for hire we all know and love The A-Team release June 11th. Resetting the mercenary teams origin in Iraq; Face, B.A., Murdock, and Hannibal must clear their names of a crime they didn’t commit. All of this while being chased by a federal agent who has a history with Face.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
The A-Teams exploits were directed by Joe Carnahan. If you haven’t seen Smokin’ Aces, do so immediately. His style is quick, a little sloppy, and visceral; which is why he was the perfect choice to direct The A-Team. The cast isn’t too shabby either. Liam Neeson as Hannibal, Bradley Cooper as “Faceman” Peck, and Sharlto Copley as Murdock all have me excited. Jessica Biel as the agent tasked with tracking them ups the sexy quotient and choosing a new comer as B.A. Barracus gives us all a chance to see the character through a fresh perspective.

TOY STORY 3

The continued adventures of Woody, Buzz and the rest of the gang release on June 18th. This time around the toys are dropped at a day care center when their owner, Andy, goes off to college. New additions include a Ken doll, a stretchy octopus, and a porcupine doll called Mr. Pricklepants.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
The back and forth between Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear and Tom Hanks as Woody is going to be worth the ticket price. The addition of Michael Keaton as a Ken Doll and Timothy Dalton as Mr. Pricklepants (I love that name) should get us all an extra laugh or two. It is going to be in 3D, and while I agree it’s a gimmick for the most part, Pixar did a lovely job with the 3D aspects of Up. Pixar doesn’t make bad movies, but here’s to hoping Disney forcing them to go back to the well doesn’t come back to bite us all in the ass.

JONAH HEX

Also coming out on the 18th is everyone’s favorite scar-faced-mystically-rejuvenated-confederate-soldier-cowboy-bounty-hunter Jonah Hex. Starring Josh Brolin, in a role that almost every middle aged actor in Hollywood tried to be attached to at some point, Jonah Hex follows the story of the gunslinger’s family being murdered and then Jonah seeking revenge on the man who has done the murdering.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T SEE IT:
That’s an excellent question. Let’s be frank, this looks like the western version of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen adaptation. From the Gatling guns to the garb this movie looks more Wild Wild West than I would have hoped. And to add insult to injury you have Megan Fox as the female lead. At least she’s playing a role I buy her in, the stereotyped tough western brothel whore. Honestly, maybe we should all give this one a pass.

KNIGHT AND DAY

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are paired off as a spy and the witness he has sworn to keep alive.Hitting screens on June 25th, the action-comedy traverses the globe as the two try to stay alive in a game of cat and mouse with the CIA.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
Tom Cruise is at his best when he gets to play mildly unhinged characters (re: Jerry Maguire, Magnolia, Tropic Thunder, etc.) and based on the trailer it looks like he gets to have a really good time in this role. The trailer just screams fun, and that is what works for both Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE

The battle between the werewolves and the vampires is boiling to a fever pitch. The further adventures of Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, and the boy who doesn’t own a shirt, return on June 30th. The 3rd film in the franchise focuses on a gang of vampires approaching forks to seek revenge for the death of the lead vampiress’ mate.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T SEE IT:
It’s Twilight. Stop encouraging them. Even with the addition of Bryce Howard this movie is still a continuation of the worst “vampire” series ever made. If you want to argue it, there is a comment section below.

THE LAST AIRBENDER

M. Night Shyamalan’s adaptation of the Nickelodeon cartoon releases July 2nd. Featuring a number of actors currently below Hollywood’s radar, The Last Airbender follows Aang as he attempts to grow into a hero and unite the Air, Water, and Earth kingdoms against the fire kingdom.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
While seemingly excluding all the humor from the trailer, Shyamalan’s film looks to stay fairly true to the source material. This movie is all about the fight scenes and the glimpses we’ve gotten in the trailers make them look sweet. Hopefully the actors will be able to capture the personalities that made ‘Avatar’ such a rewarding watch on Nickelodeon. Do us all a favor though and do your part in the great 3D boycott and watch this in 2D.

PREDATORS

The worst killers on Earth wake up on another planet. They soon realize they aren’t alone and are in fact the prey on a giant alien game reserve. Adrien Brody, Lawrence Fishburne and Danny Trejo are just a few of the psychos who square off against a cabal of predators when it hits theater on July 7th.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
Predators finally returns to the idea that made the Predator series great to begin with, human being hunting season. While this iteration of the Predator franchise doesn’t feature as many bulked out pro wrestlers as we’d have liked, the assembled cast looks pretty bad ass. After watching the trailer, you’ll even believe, albeit briefly, that Adrien Brody could actually take someone in a fight.

THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE

July 14th Jay Baruchel becomes the apprentice to Nicolas Cage’s sorcerer. The two are caught up in a struggle to protect New York City from an evil wizard.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH IT:
Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel reprise their roles from the short in 1940’s Fantasia. Okay that’s not true at all, but it’s Jay Baruchel acting against Nicolas Cage. If that is an equation for idiosyncratic genius, I don’t want to be right. The movie also looks like a feast for the eyes and it will be fun to see Nicolas Cage cut loose in such a surreal world.

INCEPTION

Leonardo DiCaprio teams with director Christopher Nolan to bring a surreal dreamscape to life on July 16th. In a world where technology exists to enter the human mind through dream invasion, a single idea within one’s mind can be the most dangerous weapon or the most valuable asset.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH IT:
Christopher Nolan and Leonardo DiCaprio. The two of them working together is goosebump inducing. The amazingly surreal imagery in the trailer is enough to make one want to go jump in line for tickets now. Throw in Ellen Page and some amazing fight scenes and you’ve got the recipe for an amazing movie.

SALT

Angelina Jolie returns to screens July 23rd as Evelyn Salt, a CIA operative who is accused of treason and must go on the run to clear her name.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT:
Looking like a female Jason Bourne it’s Jolie in the type of film where she thrives, as a butt kicking take no prisoners spy. With a supporting turn from Geekscape favorite Chiwetel Ejiofor and Liev Schreiber the cast has the chops to deliver a well rounded and intelligent action thriller.

THE OTHER GUYS

Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell team to play mis-matched partners of the NYPD. Always being shown up by action hero detectives played by Sam Jackson and Dwayne Johnson, Ferrell and Wahlberg jump at the opportunity to finally prove they have what it takes.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH IT:
Judging by the trailer, The Other Guys has the potential to be the buddy cop parody/movie that so many others have tried to be and failed. We’re looking at you, Cop Out.

THE EXPENDABLES

A team of mercenaries, led by Sylvester Stallone, head to South America to overthrow a dictator on August 13th. The greatest action film stars of all time unite under one banner to kill everyone.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH IT:
The cast is comprised of every major film badass from the 1980’s to today. Shwarzenegger, Willis, Lundgren, Rourke, Crews, Li, Statham, and Stallone all in the same film, how freakin’ cool is that?! This movie could be them playing volleyball and I’d still  probably pay to see it. Stallone wrote the movie as a love letter to the big action movies of the ‘80s and isn’t that just a love letter to Geekscape?

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

Also on August 13th, Scott Pilgrim hits the silver screen. Based on the graphic novel series by Brian Lee O’Malley, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is the adventure of a slacker, played by Michael Cera, that meets and falls for Romana, Mary Elizabeth Winstead. In order for them to be together Scott must defeat Romona’s seven evil exes.

WHY YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY SEE IT:
This movie was made for you. If you’re on Geekscape reading something, this movie was made with your tastes in mind. It’s a movie based on a comic book inspired by video games. There wil never be another movie that caters to us anymore than this one. The cast is amazing, the director is superb and the first looks from the trailer fill our heart with joy. Don’t ask questions, just go.

PIRANHA 3D

After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents. The film releases August 27th.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEE THIS & WHY YOU SHOULDN’T SEE THIS:
It’s classic B movie amazingness, but it’s also the most gimmicky of all the 3D craze movies. If you love a good bad movie, go. But again, boycott the 3D version when you can.