Author: Eric Diaz

Several months ago via Twitter, and eventually spilling over to several comic book related message boards, several fans and comic book creators started a campaign to get Lois Lane – the wife of Superman and arguably the single most famous female comic book character in the world – her own ongoing comic book series. Some of the creators who showed their support for such an idea were people like Greg Rucka, Sterling Gates and Gail Simone. So much noise was made about this that DC Editor in Chief Bob Harass even put out an official response to the whole thing, saying “The emotional investment our fans have for our characters is incredibly important to us. It is that passion that drives us every day and when you see conversations like the one regarding Lois, it makes us work even harder,”  However, despite all the noise, DC has yet to announce any Lois Lane series.

In defense of DC, the mainstream comic book market (such as it is today) is simply not tailored to produce an ongoing title about the intrepid adventures of a brilliant woman reporter. If DC Comics were to put out “Superman’s Wife, Lois Lane” or “Daily Planet Reporter: Lois Lane” on a monthly basis, it will probably tank. Even if it is great, it will still tank eventually. And this isn’t even a sexism thing, this isn’t about Lois’ gender.…truth is if DC put out the adventures of “James Gordon: Gotham Cop,” it would tank too. And everyone knows Commissioner Gordon is an awesome character and loves him. But in the world of super hero comics, the super heroes themselves are the stars. The solution? Maybe it is finally time to give Lois Lane powers and make her a full fledged hero in her own right. Time to make her Superwoman. For good.

I was recently watching the excellent animated adaptation of Grant Morrison’s All Star Superman. Morrison himself appears on the audio commentary, and at one point laments the fact that Superman and Lois Lane are now married in the comics universe. I couldn’t help but agree with him. A lot of fanboys complain that Superman is too hard to relate to, because he essentially is “the man who has everything.” Well…he does now, but he didn’t always. A staple of Superman’s mythos for his first 58 years was that while he was indeed like a God among mortals, his biggest vulnerability (aside from the pesky green rocks) was that he couldn’t be with the one person that he loved most of all, fellow reporter Lois Lane. He felt he could’t endanger a human woman by marrying her. That vulnerability was perfectly played by Christopher Reeve in the classic Superman movie series, and was one of the key factors that made the entire world fall in love with his version of the Man of Steel. Lois reflected the best of humanity to Suprman, she was close enough to touch, but he could never truly be with her.

If those circumstances were still in play, I would never suggest making Lois Lane a super hero. Her role as the mortal woman who Superman loves but can’t be with would be over. But for 15 years, that role for Lois has been gone anyway. Since 1996, Clark Kent and Lois Lane have been married, happily so. Now he does have it all. The powers, the career, and the girl. While the marriage of Clark Kent and Lois Lane has allowed for certain stories that couldn’t be told before, it robbed Superman of a semi-tragic element to his character. And no, before anyone suggests it, they can’t ever get a divorce either. Superman is the symbol for what everyone should aspire to be, and no one should aspire to get divorced.  Don’t misunderstand me here, divorce is nothing to be ashamed of, it is an unfortunate fact of life, but Kal-El has to reflect our aspirations, and divorce should never be on that list. So like it or not, Superman and Lois have to stay married for good, if only for symbolic reasons.

A Brief History Of Lois Lane, And Why She’s Awesome

 

Much like Wonder Woman, Lois Lane’s portrayal in the comics stories directly reflects American attitudes about women at the time they were written. In 1939, when Lois debuted, she was a feisty and tough streetwise reporter who didn’t take any shit from anyone. This was especially reflected in the excellent animated Fleischer serials from 1941. The Lois Lane portrayed in those old cartoons showed a woman who could play with the big boys, who wasn’t afraid of danger and would do anything to get a story. Sure, Superman had to end up saving her, but she was anything but weak and helpless. But by the 50’s, all that changed. On the one hand, Lois was popular enough to get her very own series, Superman’s Girlfriend: Lois Lane. Sadly, the bulk of that series was about stories where Lois tried to discover  Superman’s secret identity, and then try to manipulate him into marrying her. Nevertheless, that comic was very popular. At the series’ peak, it was selling half a million copies a month in the late 1950’s. And even as late as 1969, when Batman’s tv show revived the character’s sales and Marvel Comics was in full swing, Lois’ comic series was still far outselling Batman, Spider-Man, and every other super hero character who wasn’t Superman. Not bad for a chick comic.

Eventually, after the Women’s lib movement happened in the 60’s, Lois returned to her World War II era personality, but by that time her own comic had been re-titled to Superman Family, showcasing Jimmy Olsen, Supergirl and other members of Superman’s cast. Poor Lois essentially got booted to the back of her own comic, right around the time she was starting to become an interesting character once again. Lois’ return to being portrayed as  a strong independent woman again helped inform Margot Kidder’s portrayal of her in the 1978 movie, and when writer John Byrne did his mid 80’s  post Crisis on Infinite Earths take on Lois he made her even more of a bad ass than ever before. That portrayal of her has been with us ever since, and this current incarnation of Lois is more deserving of her own series than the 60’s one ever was. But for that to happen, I think she’s going to need to become a super-person herself.

 

 

Lois As Superwoman: Comic’s Longest Running Tease?

 

The idea of Lois Lane as a super hero has been teased many times over the decades. The first time was back in the 40’s, when Lois dreamed she had a blood transfusion from Superman resulting in her getting powers and a costume of her own. A few years later, she became Superwoman due to a magic spell, which of course wore off at the end of the story. And  at least once every decade or so, sometimes more, there would be a story like that; Lois would get powers, become Superwoman, and then go back to being her normal self again at the end. In the 90’s, even the Lois and Clark television series did a version of this story, one in which red kryptonite transfers all of Clark’s powers to Lois making her “Ultra Woman”. Of course this too also lasted only an episode.

 

 The story potential for Lois Lane as Superwoman is huge. Here’s a woman who is used to leaping before she looks, for whom self control is sometimes a big no no. How would she adapt to having powers like her husband’s? Superman had a whole lifetime to learn restraint, could Lois do that as adult? Not to mention, the most recent user of the name Superwoman was Lois’ sister Lucy, who was a villain. Having Lois redeem the name that her sister corrupted could make for equally great stories. As it stands, as Superman’s wife, Lois  is already an integral part of the DC Universe. She has her own friendships with the likes of Batman and Wonder Woman. Would those change if she got to join the super hero club? Despite her respect for Wonder Woman, there has always been a slight jealousy there..after all , Wonder Woman can fly around with her husband, fight bad guys with her husband, etc. Now Lois would be able to as well, changing her relationship with Wonder Woman too. And how would Superman react to a Superwoman/Batman “World’s Finest” team? Again, The story potential is endless here. DC has shown they sometimes have the balls to progress their universe in pretty significant ways; for example Bruce Wayne has a tween-age son who is Robin now, and the original Robin, Dick Grayson is now Batman II. Why not take as big a step in the Superman world as well?

 

And of course, Lois as Superwoman could open up a whole new chapter in not only her life, but obviously for Superman’s as well. The publicity opportunity for DC Comics is huge here; think Wonder Woman wearing pants was big deal? Imagine when the character most famous for being saved gets empowered and starts doing some saving herself. Symbolically, it says a so much. The media would have field day.

 

As for the actual story mechanics of how Lois Lane becomes Superwoman, none of the old versions would work today (so no blood transfusions or magic spells here) Grant Morrison’s idea from All Star Superman, where Kal-El maps Lois’ DNA and finds a way to give her his powers (if only for 24 hours) would be a decent enough place to start. Even more interesting would be if Clark had to give part of his own strength and powers to Lois, making her his “other half” in every way. I leave the actual story ideas to the actual writers at DC. But I think it is high time we saw Lois Lane: Superwoman on a comic shelf on a regular basis. Now if only someone out there could only convince DC Comics of the same thing.

 

Daredevil Returns

I’m pretty sure I’m one of the few people who didn’t hate the first Daredevil movie. I’ve never been that attached to Daredevil as a character, and really only know him from his numerous appearances in various other Marvel Comics, so maybe that is why I had no real expectations for the movie when it came out. There are things about it that suck, sure (Mostly that awful and annoying pop rock soundtrack that made the whole movie stink of MTV circa 2003 and forever dates the movie, and also a certain playground fight scene) But I like Ben Affleck as Matt Murdock, I like Jon Favreau as Foggy Nelson even more, and I might be the only person who enjoyed Colin Farrell’s over the top turn as Bullseye.

And despite what people think now, Daredevil’s movie didn’t bomb at the box office. It made $103 million on a $75 million dollar budget, and in the month of February to boot, when the box office is traditionally dead. Adjusted for inflation, it would have made $134 million in today’s dollars, which is really not bad for a character with no recognizability with non geeks and released during the “off” season. I mean, even the X-Men had a cartoon prior to a movie, so non comics people had some sort of idea what that franchise was. If the Daredevil movie had tanked, Fox would have never green lit a spin off, which they did. Of course Elektra’s spin off movie did bomb, and so that was the end of that franchise, at least for awhile.

But now Fox is rebooting Daredevil, mostly because they have no choice. During the Marvel bankruptcy of the 90’s, Fox snatched up the rights to Daredevil (as well as the Fantastic Four and the X-Men) for a song, and as long as they keep making movies based on these properties, they can hold on to the rights forever. But that means they have to make movies within a certain time frame, and for Daredevil that window is fast approaching.

David Slade, who made a big splash a few years ago with the pedo- revenge flick Hard Candy, is now set to direct. Since his Hard Candy breakthrough, Slade went on to make 30 Days of Night, which no one really seemed to like, and then last year’s Twilight entry Eclipse. This of course has made internet fanboys scream bloody murder, because his involvement with the Twilight franchise somehow means Robert Pattinson MUST be in line to play Daredevil. (I’ve seriously read like five people say this today) I liked Hard Candy a lot, so maybe he can bring some of that sensibility to Daredevil. It seems this is going to be based on Frank Miller’s seminal 80’s Daredevil story Born Again, and will be something of a soft reboot…in other words, no one from the original movie is slated to appear, but it won’t contradict the events of the previous movie either. At least the origin story won’t be re-told.

And for those of you out there wishing that Marvel Studios/Disney would get the rights back to their super hero properties that Fox has, don’t hold your breath. Fox paid real money for these, and just as a point of pride they will never allow Disney to get their hands on them again, at least not in our lifetimes. It has to sting to have to give Marvel/Disney any percentage of the revenue now, no matter how small it may be. So they’l never let them have the whole enchilada. And if every few years they have to make a Daredevil movie to hang on to the rights, that means eventually they gotta make a great one….right? Well…this is Fox, so maybe not. *sigh* And speaking of Fox and stupidity….

It WAS Too Good To Be True After All:

Wolverine Loses Darren Aronofsky

 

…..And with him, there goes almost all hope that this movie is going to be any good. Officially, Darren Aronofsky’s decision to leave the directing gig for The Wolverine had nothing to do with any kind of dispute with Fox, but instead had to do with not wanting to be away from his family for close to a year. Uh-huh. It isn’t like Aronofsky just now realized how long this project would take, and there is a lot of speculation that since the movie is set to be filmed  about 90% on location in Japan, that Aronofsky didn’t want to shoot there due to the recent tragedy. This last bit really doesn’t make sense either, as a big Hollywood production would bring in millions of dollars to an economy that needs it desperately.

But the folks over at Cinemablend.com seem to have the inside scoop, and according to their sources (same ones who broke the news that Jon Favreau was set to leave the Iron Man franchise) it seems that once again, we all have no one but Twentieth Century Fox to blame. Here’s what they had to say on the matter:

Here’s the short version: He wanted control and they wouldn’t give it to him.

It’s no secret that Aronofsky has been interested in making a comic book movie for years. Before Christopher Nolan got involved and did Batman Begins, he’d even been working on his own Batman vision. He’s also friends with Jackman, who seemed to know that the first Wolverine wasn’t very good, and approached him about taking over the franchise. That explains how Aronofsky got involved, but he’s still Aronofsky, and his style requires total control over whatever he’s working in. Movies like Black Swan don’t happen in an environment of studio interference and Darren no doubt knew of all the problems the previous X-Men movies have had. So he attached himself to the project, but didn’t sign on the dotted line until Fox agreed to give him the control he wanted.

We’re told that after his last movie earned a Best Picture nomination and won Natalie Portman an Oscar, he made his demand for the total control over the film that he’d wanted all along, the kind of control Christopher Nolan now has over the Batman franchise at Warner Bros. They tried to give him more money but that wasn’t what Aronofsky wanted. In response to his demand for total control, our source says, “the producers pretty much told him to walk.” So this morning, he did.

This is the same thought process that killed X-Men 3 from being any good. They will probably find some newbie director, maybe someone with one little critically acclaimed movie under his belt, but not with enough clout that they can’t push him around and make whatever generic action movie they want. Kinda like what happened with Gavin Hood on the last Wolverine movie. Summer 2012 bring us two of the most anticipated comic book movies ever, The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers. If Fox throws out a substandard Wolverine flick amidst these two sure to be huge movies, it will just cement the X-Men movies as being past their prime and tired. Note to Fox. DO NOT rush this movie to start shooting this spring just to meet a release date. Take your time, find another director of Aronfsky’s caliber to helm this, postpone it if you have to. Otherwise this movie is always going to be referred to as a giant missed opportunity, a giant “what coulda been” project. As it stands now, there is almost nothing that can stop that perception now anyway. But you can at least try. 

Red Dawn Remake Becomes Team America 2. Or Something Just As Funny.

In what will surely go down as one of the biggest pussy moves in recent movie history, MGM has decided in their infinite wisdom to change the invading force that comes to America’s shores from the communist Chinese to North Korea for their remake of 80’s Cold War exploitation movie Red Dawn. See, we have waay too many financial ties to our Chinese “friends” and don’t wanna piss them off for fear of losing a potential Wal Mart sweatshop or three. Now, this movie was shot and finished well over a year ago, maybe even two. It has been sitting on the shelf while MGM sorted out their financial problems. But now MGM is back on their feet, more or less, and are ready to release this, although in a new mutilated form. So how are they gonna make this change after shooting is long over? CGI will be used to erase every single Chinese flag and patch and changed to North Korean. (yup, some poor guys in the MGM effects dept. have some long pizza filled nights ahead of them. Get ready to order in boys)  Chinese actors will be now dubbed to speak Korean, because, ya know…who can even tell them apart, right? (I promise you some asshole executive probably actually said this in a meeting) This will all probably look really shitty and fake looking, and cause people to burst out laughing in the theater, especially since many will know to be looking for it now.

black;”>In one way, this sort of makes sense though. Why does China need to invade us, when they already own our asses? They just ended up buying us. No gunfire needed. But if they are gonna stick to this notion of North Korea invading us, then I say they ressurect the Kim Jong Il puppet from Team America black;”>  black;”>for the grand finale. That could totally make it all worth it.  

Wonder Woman Pilot Starts Shooting

The pilot for David E Kelley’s Wonder Woman pilot began shooting this week in the Southern California area. So far, it is all exterior shots, and the only major cast member seen has been Elizabeth Hurley (who plays villainess Veronica Cale) So no sign yet of Adrianne Palicki in the costume, but a major action sequence on Hollywood Blvd is scheduled to be shot at the end of March, and there is no way that spy cams aren’t going to catch a shot of Adrianne in her full Wonder Woman get up when that happens. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have an idea of what Diana will be wearing…the cast and crew chairs were sporting the show’s new Wonder Woman logo on them, and fans did get snapshots of those. As much as I’ve been trashing this project left and right, I gotta say I dig the re-design of the Wonder Woman symbol…a nice combination of the classic eagle and the modern double W symbol. If this is what they end up using as the emblem, then I can live with it. 

                                                               ****UPDATE*****UPDATE*****

Well, no sooner did I post this that then Warner Bros. released their first official pic of Adrianne Palicki as Wonder Woman, in her full regalia. And this being Wonder Woman, let’s just say I have capital O Opinions. First off, I actually like the overall design. The bodice and the bracelets are far more like the classic comic book costume than the costume she is currently wearing. Thankfully, the leather jacket, all the annoying straps, and the overly busy doo dads on the bracelets are gone too. I’m never gonna be crazy about pants on Wonder Woman, but at least they are blue now and not black like the current comic design (and looking carefully, there are stars on the pants) I hate that the boots aren’t red. Wonder Woman has always had red boots and/or sandals, because it balances with the top. It’s the same reason that Superman and Spidey wear red boots. That’s something they hopefully change.

But let’s get to the REAL problem. The fabric used looks cheap. Like Halloween Store cheap. Like fuckin’ Hollywood Blvd. 80’s Hooker cheap. When you look at the care put into the fabrics for the costumes for Spider-Man (both the old and new ones) Batman and even Brandon Routh’s Superman costume, this is inexcusable. Yeah, I know this is tv and not a movie, but millions of dollars were spent on this pilot too, you can’t tell me that they couldn’t have spent more money and time on this costume’s fabric. If this show goes to series, then I seriously hope they invest in better fabric. Because this looks like a booth girl at Comic Con. And not the DC Comics booth, the Vivid Entertainment booth.

Edgar Wright To Direct An Episode Of The Walking Dead?? Maybe…

For those of you wondering just what Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz director Edgar Wright will do next after the so undeserved commercial failure of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, it looks like he may be returning to Zombie territory. In an interview with Collider at South by Southwest, Wright mentioned that Walking Dead producer Frank Darabont has actually asked him to direct an episode of the show. He hasn’t said yes yet, saying that although he is a fan of the show, that with something like this he’d “want to be in on the ground floor” and that he didn’t wanna be the guy to come in and “fuck it up.” Considering that Shaun of the Dead is easily one of the best zombie movies ever, I really doubt he could fuck anything up. Or maybe that is his polite way of saying “thanks but no thanks” Still, this fanboy at least hope he says yes, ‘cuz it would be all kinds of awesome. 

 

At The Mountains of Madness Cancelled…For Now

For years, director Guillermo del Toro’s dream project had been an adaptation of HP Lovecraft’s horror saga At The Mountains of Madness. And also for years it seemed like an unlikely proposition. The works of Lovecraft are not really what one calls “an easy sell,” especially to a mass audience. Then late last year It looked like del Toro was finally getting all of his ducks in a row, and shooting on this was set to begin in June. He had James Cameron producing, Tom Cruise starring….and still, Universal balked at making a $150 million dollar R rated monster movie. This has caused a lot of online anger, most notably from Aint It Cool’s News’ “Head Geek” Harry Knowles, who called out the top brass at Universal as “chicken shit.”

But just as many equally disappointed bloggers out there (for example Drew McWeeney and Devin Faraci) have come to Universal’s defense. For the past two years, that studio has been making relatively risky genre fare like Scott Pilgrim VS. The World, Drag Me to Hell, and more…only to have these movies land with a giant thud at the box office. Joe Six Pack and Sally Housecoat seem to only want their genre fare in movies that can be sold in easily digestible 30 second tv spots. A lot of what makes these quirkier (for lack of a better word) movies work is tone, and tone is a very hard thing to sell. Meanwhile, studios like Fox have been producing hit after hit with movies like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Ice Age, etc. All pre-packaged, all brand names, an none R rated. If America rewards generic crappy movies with success, and punishes more interesting flicks with failure, what can we do? Universal is still a business at the end of the day.

Instead of Mountains, it appears del Toro will be doing Pacific Rim, a PG-13 alien invasion flick that the studios know how to sell pretty easily. But he hasn’t given up totally on his dreams for Madness; speakin to Deadline.com, he had this to say about the future of his pet project, and his hopes that Universal will put this movie into turnaround, therefore allowing another studio to have a crack at it:

“That is my hope right now, that they just allow us to seek a home for this. It will remain a timely premise for years to come, so I don’t have to do it next month. I know it’s not an easy proposition. It is, if you have faith. I think a studio needs to fully believe in that. Certainly, in the last year, you can find movies of that scope or bigger that have been green lit on a wing and a prayer. We are part of show business, and it seems the business side takes more and more command of things, and the show part of the business seems to be dwindling. It’s a sign of the times, in a way.” 

 

Marvel Studios Tackling The Inhumans Next?

We geeks are pretty aware of Marvel Studios’ movie plans for the next two years; first Thor and Cap get their flicks this summer, with of course The Avengers in 2012 and Iron Man 3 in 2013. Now it looks like the next big project being looked at by Marvel is a big screen version of The Inhumans. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby back in 1966, the basic idea behind the Inhumans is that aliens in pre-historic times tampered with the DNA of select humans, creating a new race. The race eventually went into hiding, developing their own hidden society as well as their own royal family. If the Fantastic Four were the All-American nuclear family, the X-Men a school, and the Avengers the all star sports team of the Marvel Universe, then the Inhumans were the Marvel U’s freakish version of European royalty. Kinda like The Tudors, but with super powers.

Despite their importance to the overall Marvel mythos, the Inhumans only ever had their own series twice before; once for about a year in the early 70’s, and then for a 12 issue mini series in 1998 drawn by Jae Lee (with various specials and one shots over the years for good measure.) Still, not having the rabid fanbase of an X-Men or an Avengers might be good for a movie adaptation, as it will allow the film makers greater freedom in adapting the source material.  If they decide to cast African American actors as Black Bolt and Medusa for example, there wouldn’t be nearly the fan outcry that some of the more iconic Marvel properties have. Not to mention chanes to the costumes. The Inhumans are still years away from making their big screen debut, don’t expect to see it till 2014 at the earliest, but as always Marvel Studios is planning way in advance.

Magicians VS Nazis on HBO

 Michael Chabon (author of The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay and Wonder Boys) is setting up a project at HBO called Hobgoblin, which is said to “revolve around a group of con men and magicians who use their skills at deception to fight the Nazis during World War II.”  Not much else is known about this project (in fact, it is unclear if this is meant to be a movie, mini series or regular series for HBO at this point) Still, based on that description alone, I’m all over this. Chabon will be co-writing with his wife, Ayelet Waldman. Chabon’s next big screen project to be seen will be Disney’s John Carter of Mars, for which he wrote the script.

 

True Blood Cast Spills The Beans On Season Four At Paley Fest

The cast of True Blood has appreared together on stage before, usually at Comic Con or some other such convention. But at this past week’s Paley Fest for Media in Los Angeles, the entire main cast showed up together up on stage. And when I say the entire cast, I mean all 16 regular cast members showed.  Anna Paquin (Sookie Stackhouse), Stephen Moyer (Bill Compton), Sam Trammell (Sam Merlotte), Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse), Rutina Wesley (Tara Thornton), Chris Bauer (Andy Bellefleur), Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette Reynolds), Jim Parrack (Hoyt Fortenberry), Carrie Preston (Arlene Fowler), Alexander Skarsgård (Eric Northman), Todd Lowe (Terry Bellefleur), Deborah Ann Woll (Jessica Hamby), Kristin Bauer (Pam De Beaufort), Marshall Allman (Tommy Mickens), Kevin Alejandro (Jesus Velasquez) Joe Manganiello (Alcide Herveaux) AND series creator Alan Ball were all in attendance. True Blood is at about the halfway point of shooting season four, which is set to premiere in early June. Of course, certain spoilers were spilled at this event, so for you Trubies out there that simply can’t wait till June, read on for some leaked details on the denizens of Bon Temps. Needless to say, spoilers for not only the upcoming season, but also season three from here on out. You have been warned….

 

-This is the season of the witches, as we are introduced not only to your standard wiccans, but also to “necromancers”  -witches with control over the dead.  (can zombies be  far behind?)

-Although the series deviates from the books pretty significantly, the main plotlines tend to remain the same. In book four of Charlaine Harris’ series, vampire Eric Northman gets his memory wiped by a coven of witches, and the new kinder, gentler Eric finally gets it on with Sookie. It appears that basic plotline will remain.

-The one couple everyone can root for, local bumpkin Hoyt Fortenberry and baby vamp Jessica, will hit a bit of a rough patch in season four (this is tv, what did you expect? No one lives happily ever after till the final episode)

-Vampire King Russell Edgington, last seen buried in cement by Bill and Eric shouting words of revenge a la Dr. Doom, will be back, but no one is saying when (it might not even be this season) Also returning is Godric, the vampire who made Eric who offed himself back in season two.

-After being exorcised for fake demons, involved in magical orgies and then being tied up and kidnapped by an insane vampire, it seems Tara Thornton will come back stronger and less of a victim in season four. But this being True Blood, I doubt she’ll remain problem free for long. Hopefully she’ll have better hair than her Vanessa Huxtable hair from last season’s finale.

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Movie To Be Made; Surely A Beacon Of The End Times

I have reported frequently in this column about the variety of soulless cash grabs and brand names that Hollywood is obsessed with these days for easy money. Hundreds of millions of dollars are being spent for movies based on the likes of The Smurfs, Ouija Board, Monopoly, etc. If it’s a known brand, then chances are it is getting the big screen treatment. But to me, this latest announcement is the most soulless of them all. Coming soon to a theater near you: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: The Movie.

Even without a movie, the Macy’s parade is the most blatant and crassly commercial excuse for entertainment in America. Sure, the Tournament of Roses Parade is cheesy as hell (and also sponsored by many corprorations) but at least there is some attempt at artistry going on with the floats. But The Macy’s parade is nothing but an endless stream of products being sold to you posing as a “Parade.” Well, now that product is being turned into yet another crass product, a big budget family movie. The basic idea is that the various balloons used in the parade will come to life, a la Night at the Museum and probably have some kind of stupid adventure with some adorable and very annoying children. Just imagine it; a fun and fantasy filled frolic with Mr. Potatoe Head, The Pillsberry Dough Boy and Ronald McDonald. Or better yet….don’t.

 

 

“My, People Come And Go So Quickly Here!”

That was true of the land of Oz, and it is true of Hollywood. Remember how I reported a week ago that it was announced that Trent Reznor was not only going to score, but also make a cameo inAbraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? Yeah, well…neither of those things is happening now, for reasons unknown. So much for Trent getting in touch with his gothy side.

Lots of Spoilery bits for upcoming comic book adaptations in this week’s column, so you Spoiler-phobes might wanna sit this one out. Everyone else, please read on….

 

Avengers Villains Revealed?

 

Ever since this movie was announced, the long standing question has been just who the hell are the Avengers all gonna gang up and fight in their first movie outing anyway?  Way back in the first issue of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s Avengers in 1963, the team was formed due to the machinations of Thor’s evil brother Loki. In Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s new millennium version of the Avengers called The Ultimates, the first big bad they took on was an alien race called the Chitauri, a shape shifting  species who were clearly a version of the classic marvel aliens the Skrulls, but simply with a different name.  According to a report this week at Latino Review, it seems we are getting a combination of both Avengers origin stories.

 

Considering that the movie version of the Marvel Universe is a mix of both classic and Ultimate Marvel continuities, it is only fair that the big screen Avengers mix both versions of their origin story too. According to reports, the big bads in Avengers will be Tom Hiddleston reprising his role in Thor as Loki, who uses the Cosmic Cube (which will be introduced in the Captain America movie) to bring the Skrulls to earth to fight our heroes. Right now, the thought of all these super heroes fighting not only an evil Norse god but an alien invasion sounds like the coolest movie ever, or an epic clusterfuck. But in director Joss Whedon I trust.

Blade Runner : Legacy?

The Replicants Are About To Get Replicated

 

It seems a recurring theme in this here column is news that a beloved geek property is about to get remade/rehashed/re heated. But I don’t make the news, I just report it. Someone has gotta break the bad news, right?

Warner Brothers, who currently has the distribution rights to Ridley Scott’s classic Blade Runner, is looking to buy up all the rights to the property from producer Bud Yorkin for prequels and sequels to the original film. For those of you Blade Runner purists out there who are foaming at the mouth at this piece of news, there is a silver lining; the rights are only for sequels and prequels, and stories within the universe set up by the first film. This means someone like Brett Ratner will not be making an actual remake of Blade Runner any time soon. The original classic will remain untouched…at least for now.

 

 

Maybe you can blame the (relative) success of Tron: Legacy. Both Blade Runner and the original Tron were expensive sci-fi movies that tanked hard back in 1982. Eventually, cable and home video would help both those movies find their audience, and now both are considered to be classics (especially Blade Runner, the other one is more a guilty pleasure) Now Disney has more or less successfully re-launched Tron as a brand, not only with Tron Legacy but with the new animated series on Disney XD coming up next year. It looks like Warners is trying to take a page out of Disney’s book. It also has been reported that Warners is looking to Christopher Nolan (an avowed huge fan of the original movie) to have some kind of hand in these movies, but I could just as easily see Nolan wanting nothing to do with it. But who knows, money does talk after all.

 

 

Dark Knight Rises Spoilers Begin To Emerge

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve known for awhile now different casting bits and character names that are set to show up in Christopher Nolan’s third Batman installment, but what we haven’t had leak is an overall idea of just what the damn story is going to be. Well, it seems that Devin Faraci at Bad Ass Digest got a big scoop this week on just who is who and what is what with The Dark Knight Rises, including the main villains.  Here is what he had to say:

 “As she herself confirmed, Anne Hathaway will be Catwoman in the movie. I can’t tell you what role she has in the beginning, but by the end of the story Catwoman isn’t a villain but rather an ally of Batman. And who are they teaming up to take out? The League of Shadows. Headed by Talia Al’Ghul. With Bane, who is her muscle/possible love interest. And with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in tow. Is he playing Black Mask? My source didn’t know, but did know that Levitt is certainly an antagonist and involved with the League of Shadows.”

Well, that’s something to go on, right? I guess the last major piece of the spoiler puzzle is just who JGL will be playing. A lot of people seem to be convinced he is playing the Black Mask, mostly because he is a villain who has had no face time in any live action Batman movies as of yet, but it could just as easily be Deadshot for all we know. Lord knows my guesses are sure as hell not always right…a few weeks back I said Catwoman and Talia would feel redundant appearing in the same movie together. Shows what I know.

 

Hanks & Allen Re-Team For Jungle Cruise

 

Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are re uniting for Disney, but not for a fourth Toy Story flick. Instead, they are being looked at to star in a live action version of the classic Disneyland ride, The Jungle Cruise. Considering how much money the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has made for the House of Mouse, it only makes financial sense they would mine every ride they possibly can for movie potential. As un exciting as this project may sound, I am excited for one reason and one reason only; maybe if this movie makes bank, they’ll invest a little money into updating the 1955 animatronics in the actual ride at Disneyland with something a bit more 21st Century.Lord knows that is one ride that needs some TLC.

 

 

Trent Reznor To Get His Vamp On

 

He may look all cleaned up and growed up now, with his short hair, all accepting Academy Awards in his nice tux and what not, but as a teenager growing up in the early 90’s  Trent Reznor will always be Mr. Pretty Hate Machine to me. This guy’s got goth in his blood; he once lived in the house where Sharon Tate and four others were brutally killed by the Manson family, and even recorded The Downward Spiral in that house. In adherence to his dark and gothy roots, Trent Reznor will not only be scoring the upcoming Tim Burton produced Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, but he’ll have a small role in it as well as (what else?) a vampire. You can take the boy out of the dilapidated graveyard, but ya can’t take the dilapidated graveyard out of the boy.

 

Ma Kent Gets All MILFy On Us

And More Man of Steel Casting Bits

 

Last week it was Kevin Costner as Pa Kent, now it seems Clark is getting his Ma in the form of Diane Lane for Zack Snyder’s upcoming Superman movie. Also rumored for the part of General Zod is Viggo Mortensen, although his participation has yet to be confirmed. I personally hope Zod ends up being just a rumor; Superman has a lot of cool villains who have never seen the light of day in live action, most notably Brainiac. Having Superman fight yet another villain used in one of the Richard Donner movies is going to seem like yet another rehash of an older movie, which Superman Returns got raked over the coals for. Also rumored for an unspecified role is Daniel Day Lewis. I would say this is a long shot, as DDL is an actor who is very picky and choosey  about his parts, and isn’t known for doing movies just for the paycheck. To me, he seems an obvious choice for Jor-El, but he could just as easily be a villain too. Brainiac maybe? Can ya tell I really want Brainiac in this flick?

 

 

Much sad news to report this week, so let us get the bad stuff out the way first….

 

R.I.P. Dwayne McDuffie 

 

 

 

As most of you must know by now, esteemed comic book and animation writer Dwayne McDuffie shockingly passed away this week at age 49, due to complications from surgery. Many online have already written of his accomplishments, first at Marvel and then with the creation of Milestone Media in the early 90’s. On a personal level, for me McDuffie was one of the very few people in the movie/tv side of things who understood on an intrinsic level just what makes the DC Comics Universe special, and just what makes it tick. Chris Nolan might understand Batman for example, but does he get Booster Gold? (Hell, Nolan doesn’t even “get” Robin) Richard Donner might “get” Superman, but could he do a Krypto the Super Dog movie? Probably not. Aside from Bruce Timm, I can’t think of anyone in the area of filmed entertainment who gets the DC Universe as a whole better than Dwayne McDuffie did.

In my opinion, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited remains one the best examples of super heroes on television ever produced. Bruce Timm gets a lot of the credit (and as exec. producer, he should) but it was Dwayne McDuffie who was Timm’s right hand man. Most of the best episodes of the series were written by McDuffie (he produced and/or wrote 69 of JLU’s 91 episodes) His direct to DVD animated Justice League movie, Crisis on 2 Earths, remains one of the best of DC’s animated films, as does his adaptation of Grant Morrison’s All Star Superman, which was released on the day of his death.  He had two more DC Universe scripts written for future DTV movies, and I hope as a tribute to him they see the light of day. He was a hugely talented man, and I will miss his work tremendously.

 

R.I.P. Perry Moore

 

Sadly, Dwayne McDuffie was not the only creator taken from us too soon. Also gone long before his time was author/film producer Perry Moore, who died this past week at age 39 from an apparent drug overdose. Moore was a producer on the Chronicles of Narnia movie series, but he is also known for being the author of the young adult novel Hero, about a young teenager who is coming to terms with both his emerging super powers AND his own sexual identity as a gay man. He was also known for a somewhat infamous article he wrote on his website a few years back, detailing the “fridging” of so many of the LGBT comic book characters in comics. The article made such waves that many have suggested that it forced Marvel to not only resurrect gay hero Northstar and give him a more prominent role in the X-Men, but also to out Rictor and Shatterstar as a gay couple once and for all in the pages of X-Factor.

 

 

My first exposure to Perry Moor in person was back at Comic Con 2008. He was at a gay related panel early one day,  and I recall it was in one of the smaller rooms. No one seemed to know who the secret guest was going to be. Perry Moore was there to announce that his novel Hero was to become a Showtime television series, and his producing partner would be none other than Stan Lee. When Stan Lee came in the room and threw his weight not only behind this project, but also the idea of gay super heroes in general, I’ll admit I got a little misty eyed.  It was the pretty much like having your Grandpa tell you that not only does he accept you being gay, but he is a member of PFLAG too.  And let’s face it, as Geeks, in a way Stan Lee is like all of ours’ Grandpa.

 

 

Cut to a year later at Comic Con, I saw a slightly different side to Perry Moore.  He was at the annual Gays in Comics panel, along with many other esteemed LGBT and LGBT friendly creators. He pretty much used every opportunity to pimp his novel Hero, even when it wasn’t really appropriate to do so. It was clearly annoying to the other panelists and the audience, but we gave him a pass because he seemed pretty drunk and/or high.  Mostly I know I just felt bad and somewhat embarrassed for him. I guess when I heard of his untimely death, I wasn’t that shocked he had a drug problem, based on what I had seen that day up on the podium, but I was still just as sad. His tv version of Hero never happened (apparently, the Starz network is still interested, his death will either totally derail this show or get it moving faster, one of the two) I hope it happens and that Perry Moore’s dream for a highly visible teen gay super hero is one that comes to fruition. There would be no better legacy for him to leave behind than that.

Ok, ok, enough with the obits….on to lighter fare.

 

 

Kevin Costner’s Field of Dreams Might Be Found In Smallville, Kansas

 

I usually don’t rejoice at the thought of casting Kevin Costner in anything. To me, his is the very image of generic blandness. I never understood how he became a huge star, much less how he got totally miscast in things like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. He’s been in several good movies, but never once have I seen him in something where I can’t imagine just about anyone else in the part and probably being better at it than he was.

 

 

Having said all that…if ever there was a part that Costner was born to play, it seems he is about to be the one to get it. Zack Snyder is keen on getting him for the role of Jonathan “Pa” Kent in The Man of Steel. Even though he is from California, Costner just exudes wholesome mid west Americana, and at 56 he is the perfect age for the role now.  Now I can only hope that Snyder finds someone just as suitable for Jor-El. Maybe THAT is who Jon Hamm should play? Now how cool would that be?

 

 

 

Clash of the Titans 2 To Get Same Shitty 3D Conversion As The First Movie

 

 

One of the first examples that the 3D cinema revolution as predicted by James Cameron might collapse like a house of cards was last year’s Clash of the Titans. Not only was it a shitty movie, but the last minute “hey, lets cash in on Avatar!”  3D up conversion was amongst the worst ever, with The Last Airbender right behind as a close second. Moviegoers were asked to shell out up to four more dollars to see a movie that looked worse than it did in traditional 2D. Well, not only is Clash getting a sequel called “Wrath of the Titans” (no, really…that is what it will be called) but instead of listening to the criticism about the crappy 2D up convert for the last flick, the new movie will still not be shot in 3D, but also converted after the fact. Director Jonathan Liebesman says that because they know ahead of time they are going to be doing this, the movie won’t look like a rush job like the first one did, but so far not a single 3D upconversion has looked good to me.  Will moviegoers still be that easy to fool a year from now when this comes out in theaters? Only time will tell….

Prometheus, Alien…What’s In A Name Anyway?

 

More and more, reports are indicating that Ridley Scott’s new sci-fi flick Prometheus is firmly tied into the Alien series after all, despite what Twentieth Century Fox has been saying to the contrary. Apparently, according to online reports, the “Space Jockey” from the first Alien is indeed in the movie as we reported before, only this time it will be an 8 foot tall animatronic. And the xenomorphs will factor into the movie, but won’t look like we’re used to, or even be the main thrust of the story. Due to this fact, I could see why Fox would choose to not have the world “Alien” in the title; we’ve come to expect a certain creature when we think of Alien in that sense, and we may not get what we’re used to with this movie. Better to present it as something new entirely to the masses. But it seems very clear now that if Prometheus is not a prequel to Alien, it is at the very least a tie-in somehow. Those of us in the know will of course know, and those who don’t won’t have any disappointment based on pre-conceived notions. Everybody wins.

 

  

Yeah, I Know He Said “I’ll Be Back” But Really??

You’d think after the critical and commercial disappointment of Terminator: Salvation, that would be the end of that franchise. Yeah…not so fast. It looks like Universal is looking to get their fingers in the Terminator pie, on the heels of the announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning to acting following his stint as Governor of California. I’m not sure just what role Universal wants Arnie to play this time. At nearly 63, Arnie is way past his Cyberdine Systerms sell-by date. I know they digitally de-aged him for that brief cameo in the last movie, so maybe they plan on doing it for a whole flick this time? Hell, they did it for Jeff Bridges in Tron Legacy, so I guess anything is possible (maybe they can change Arnold’s skin color from mutant orange back to standard Caucasian again while they’re at it). In any case, it would seem that Salvation director McG is out of the picture, so any ideas for his proposed new trilogy following his last movie are probably gone with him. Nothing of great significance happened in that movie anyway, and the storyline could easily move forward without much reference to those events without doing a reboot. I imagine Christian Bale will move on too, and we’ll get yet another actor in the role of John Connor.  It seems that Universal really wants director Justin Lin for this, mostly because at some point they realize he’ll run out of Fast and the Furious movies to do.

Frankly, I wouldn’t mind a proper end to the whole Terminator saga. Set the movie in 2029, with an older John Conner on the brink of defeating Skynet, sending Kyle Reese and a re-programmed T-800 back into the past and close the loop. End the thing with some dignity.

David E. Kelley casts his Wonder Woman

 

 

……..Adrianne Palicki.

After what seems like a decade’s worth of speculation, ranging from the sublime (Angelina Jolie) to the ridiculous (Beyonce), we finally have our first live action Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter. Former star of the critically acclaimed series Friday Night Lights, Adrianne Palicki beat nearly every female of appropriate age in Hollywood for the coveted role. I’ll admit, I have never seen Miss Palicki act in anything, but on the visual side of things she certainly looks the part. She’s 5’11, fit, and at least currently has the right color hair. I’m still not happy about many things about this project, but at least with the casting they seem to know what they’re doing. True, I was originally rooting for South African model turned actress Tanit Phoenix. (That is, until I saw her audition tape that leaked this week. Ouch). I’m betting that Adrianne was the far better choice here. And at least she is a true comic book geek; her brother is comic book creator Eric Palicki, and both siblings have been collecting comics from an early age, and she even has a Supergirl tattoo. Maybe she can even explain the character of Wonder Woman to David E. Kelley.

Of course, the next big reveal on this project will no doubt be the costume. Many are suspecting it will be the new Jim Lee designed outfit from the comics, and I would say that is a safe bet, although I personally loathe that costume. They’ll probably drop the jacket though, because why cast a hot actress only to cover her arms, shoulder and side boob?  The script I read certainly emphasized Wonder Woman more as the world’s best athlete (there is a lot of running and jumping around in this script) over her skills as a warrior. So for those hoping for a Xena-esque outfit, I wouldn’t count on it, although I hope I’m wrong. I kind of hope the tv outfit looks something like this fan re-design of the new costume. It looks like a more blinged-out version of something that Olympic level female track stars wear (including the shorts) while still being Wonder Woman upon first glance.

2011 is going to be a crucial year for DC Entertainment. With Green Lantern in theaters this summer, and Wonder Woman premiering in the fall presumably (unless the pilot doesn’t get picked up, which would be way embarrassing to Warners/DC) this will be their first big push in live action for their non Batman/Superman properties in forever. If one or both of these fail, expect all other non Super-Bat DC projects to quietly go away. 

 Zack Snyder In The Warner Brothers Dog House?

Speaking of DC properties, The Vulture at New York magazine is reporting that things are quite stressful right now over at Warner Brothers due to problems with the new Superman reboot, The Man of Steel.  First off, it Seems Zack Snyder’s new movie Sucker Punch is not testing well (which, frankly, bodes well for me actually liking it.) making the suits at WB antsy about Snyder in general. On top of that, there seem to be “third act” problems with David Goyer’s script for Man of Steel , which we all know translates simply into “the ending sucks”. Because of all these issues, it seems Warners wants Snyder to focus on getting Superman on track and have all but fired him off his 300 prequel, Xerxes. Considering that 300, whether you liked it or hated it, was all style over substance, why get rid of the guy who brought all the style? And does anyone really want to see a 300 prequel about the villain anyway? Much less without Snyder and his slow mo hot guy fetish cam?  In any event, Warners is already pushing their new Superman Henry Cavill on the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly almost a full two years before the movie is actually scheduled to even come out, so they are making it pretty clear which project is the priority for them.

 Instead of Underwear On The Outside, They Wear Diapers?

Director Matthew Vaughn sure likes his comic books. Despite saying earlier this year that the comic book movie fad would soon be ending, the director of Kick Ass and the upcoming X-Men First Class is prepping yet another comic book movie of his own, although one with a slightly different twist. The Golden Age, based on the yet-to-be-published comic written by British talk show host Jonathan Ross (not the DC Comics mini-series from a few years back), is about a retirement home where superheroes end up when their crime fighting days are over. Vaughn is apparently looking to get actors attached to the movie before the script is even written, and His wish list includes Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson, and Warren Beatty to play the retired superheroes who help out their grandchildren when their now middle-aged parents screw up the world. Jane Goldman, Vaughn’s screenwriter for Kick Ass and X-Men, is married to Jonathan Ross, so she seems the obvious choice for scripting duties on this one too.

What A Wookie

 In last week’s column,  I mentioned how Grand Moff Tarkin from the original Star Wars film would be making his animated Clone Wars appearance this week. Well, the producers are about to top that when it comes to catering to fanboy nostalgia for the original trilogy. In the two part season finale of Clone Wars set to air next month, we are getting our first animated appearance of everyone’s favorite wookie, Chewbacca. Considering his brief appearance in Revenge of the Sith showing his chummy relationship with Yoda, this was only a matter of time I suppose.  It seems the animators at Lucasfilm couldn’t get all of Chewie’s  movements just right, so they flew in actor Peter Mayhew to Lucasfilm Animation studios to be their animation model. Every head tilt and arm wave will be based on those of the freakishly tall (7 foot 3) actor. He even contributed a bit of his own voice to the infamous Chewie growl.  

Between Tarkin, Greedo, and now Chewie this season, there aren’t many classic trilogy characters that would make sense in the prequel time frame. God help me, I never wanna see a pre-teen Han and Lando as some kind of space version of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. Who is even left at this point? Admiral Ackbar? Actually….that is kind of a good idea.

Get Ready For A Bright Green Mila Kunis To Spank To

No, not in a big screen version Wicked. No, for that other Wizard of Oz prequel project, Oz, The Great and Powerful. In this version, the Wicked Witch of the West is not the misunderstood Elphaba of the stage and bestseller list, but Theodora, the sister of Evanora (ya know, the one Dorothy dropped her house on) James Franco is now the frontrunner to play the Wizard, after both Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp passed. Sam Raimi is still scheduled to direct this one, so there is some hope this might turn into something interesting after all. If you thought there were a lot of “Slutty Witches” at Halloween time before, get ready for a true onslaught. Although I’m sure most of you won’t mind.

 

Twin Peaks isn’t merely my favorite television series of all time, it is in fact one of my very favorite things of all time, period. I’ve extolled the virtues of Twin Peaks on this site before (here in fact) so if you are unfamiliar with the show and its legacy, you might want to read that first. I’m going to try and not repeat myself too much and say things I’ve already said before, so I’ll try to be brief and sum it up: David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks was years ahead of its time, a true television original. On a personal level, the show affected me in a profound way. To this day, whenever a new person comes into my life, at some point I’m going to sit them down and introduce them to the show…if they get it, then chances are they get me. I use Twin Peaks as my personal barometer of how well we are going to click or not, almost like a litmus test of sorts. Twin Peaks is that ingrained in my DNA now. So needless to say, the moment I heard there was going to be a Twin Peaks 20th Anniversary art show in town, I was counting down the days.

Presented by Good Apple, in conjunction with CBS Consumer Products (the current rights holders to the series) In The Trees: Twin Peaks 20th Anniversary Art Exhibition was held Saturday, February 12th at Clifton’s Brookdale restaurant in the heart of downtown Los Angeles. Twin Peaks’ influence has been felt on television ever since it went off the air, but this particular exhibition was meant to reflect the influence of David Lynch and Mark Frost’s vision on the contemporary visual art world. 

When arriving at Clifton’s, the location for the exhibit, I was shocked at just how many people were at this event. In fact, the line was going down the street, and I had to wait nearly an hour to get in. I had to ask someone if there was like a concert or something going on that night…this couldn’t all be over an art show based on a television series that lasted a season and a half and was cancelled, could it? I mean, a good amount of these people in line were probably not even born when Twin Peaks premiered.  But the line was indeed for the show, and as a fan of the series from the moment it came on, all I could feel was a certain sense of vindication.  Back when the show was shit canned in 1991 by the network, critics came out of the woodwork calling the series “an experiment that failed” and went back to watching the same old crap on tv. Well, twenty plus years later, I don’t think there are any art exhibitions inspired by Matlock or Empty Nest. And I doubt there are any new fervent fans in their teens and early twenties being created today for shows like Major Dad or Coach.

When I finally got in the doors of Clifton’s, a depression era eatery totally decked out in faux woodland atmosphere, with Angelo Badalamenti’s iconic Twin Peaks score blaring over the speakers, and patrons eating cherry pie, donuts and coffee…all I could think was I’d somehow landed in some kind of Twin Peaks theme park. The sixteen year old kid in me, the one who held Twin Peaks viewing parties and often fell asleep listening to the show’s ethereal soundtrack album while clutching his dog eared copy of The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, was grinning from ear to ear.

As for the art itself, my only complaint was I wish there was lot more of it. All together, there were maybe only twenty or so pieces on display here. The two signature stand out pieces were artist Tim Biskup’s “Walk With Bob”, a giant 72″ x 48″ cubist style recreation of the series’ iconic portrait of homecoming queen/murder victim Laura Palmer.  Another amazing example was artist Paul Chatem’s “A Damn Good Cup of Coffee”, a 44” x 32” piece painted on wood with actual working gears. This was one of those rare instances where the crowd was actually encouraged to touch the art. One doesn’t see that too often.

Series co-creator David Lynch, himself an accomplished visual artist, even contributed a series of pieces for the show, including a map of Twin Peaks and photo set of anniversary merit badges (Lynch’s official bio lists him only as “Eagle Scout, Missoula Montana” so I’d say he takes that boy scout title pretty damn seriously) A lot of his art was on display upstairs, in a makeshift recreation of the series’ otherworldly Red Room. Like a true Peaks fanboy, I brought along my copy of the complete series DVD box set and a sharpie, just in case Mr. Lynch made an appearance and I could harass him for an autograph. Alas, he was a no show. Aside from Lynch, other people involved in the show contributed art as well; actress Grace Zabriskie, who played Laura Palmer’s mother, contributed a series of hand crafted fine art boxes inspired by the show’s storylines, and Richard Beymer, veteran character actor who played the evil Benjamin Horne had a series of photographs on display that he took during the filming of the Twin Peak’s final episode. 

Of course, aside from all the beautiful art on display, there was the merchandise. Now, with many beloved geek properties, fans are inundated with so much product that after years and years of it they never wanna see another Spock shirt or Darth Vader baseball cap ever again. However, up until now, there has been almost no Twin Peaks merchandise of any kind for nearly twenty years. Since David Lynch has to sign off on any and all Twin Peaks merchandise, he has essentially kept any official Twin Peaks stuff off the shelves, probably in an attempt to retain the integrity of the show. Noble attempt Mr. Lynch, but we’re Americans, and we want our swag sir. CBS, the current copyright holder, finally convinced Mr. Lynch of producing items for this event, and fans were now able to buy Double R Diner coffee mugs, Great Northern Hotel stationary, and of course, t-shirts. The line for the merchandise was nearly as long as the line to get in the show, and that’s no exaggeration. And I fully expect even more product in the future; CBS was filming at the event, and posted a sign at the door stating that anyone who sets foot in the door was allowing their likeness to be used in a future documentary. I smell a special feature for an upcoming Blu Ray box set. Bring it on I say.

Upon leaving the exhibition, I was once again reminded of what made Twin Peaks so special, and why it retains the place in my heart that it does, and likely always will. But what made me even more happy is how many new fans the show seems to have created since it first aired, and how many other artists have been inspired by it to create something enduring and beautiful themselves. In inspiring people to create new and better art, then maybe Twin Peaks has displayed the most important aspect of its legacy.

All photographs taken by Alicia Friedman. You can find more of her work here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aliciafriedman/

Art from the exhibition can be viewed here http://inthetreesartpreview.blogspot.com/2011/02/weve-got-good-news.html

merchandise from the exhibition can be purchased here: http://inthetreesartpreview.blogspot.com/2011/02/twin-peaks-20th-anniversary-merchandise.html

This week’s column is going to be 100% Wonder Woman rant free. But they cast the part of Wondy soon, so expect another rant sooner rather than later. For now, enjoy your respite. On to the news….

 

Does Iron Man 3 Have A Writer/Director Already?

 

This week it was announced that Shane Black, writer/director of the beloved cult movie Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, not to mention writer of such movies as the original Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, and co writer of Monster Squad, is on the short list to take over from Jon Favreu for Iron Man 3. This was greeted with much enthusiasm from the online geek community, as his movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is not only  an incredibly well written film, but was also a big part of Robert Downey’s big screen post rehab comeback that of course led to Iron Man eventually. By having the news leaked that Shane Black is in the running, and to have so many fanboys react in a positive way, only increases Black’s chances. Because frankly, if Marvel Studios’ doesn’t hire him now, they’ll have to hire someone better and probably more expansive later on. Much like Joss Whedon, this is the smarter (and cheaper) choice. I can I just say I wanna see The Mandarin before this trilogy ends?  

 

 I Thought I Recognized That Foul Stench….

As I’ve stated on more than one occasion in this column, The Clone Wars animated series on Cartoon Network is the best Star Wars anything to come along since The Empire Stikes Back. The second half of season two, which is currently airing, has introduced us to the Force Witches, Darth Maul’s even cooler and more bad ass brother, and the living embodiments of the Light and Dark Sides of the Force.  Now Clone Wars is about to get cooler, and introduce another character from the original trilogy that was all but totally neglected by the prequels: Grand Moff Tarkin.  Well, actually, Captain Tarkin of the Republic Army at this point.

To me, Tarkin was the true villain of the original Star Wars; It was his hand that caused the genocide on Alderaan after all…Vader was just an accomplice. He had all the great evil bastard dialogue, and he also had those awesome very evil cheekbones.  Aside from a brief cameo at the end of Revenge of the Sith, the prequels didn’t give us any hint of a pre-A New Hope Tarkin. I always loved his relationship with Vader; he seemed to be the only Imperial officer that Vader respected (and didn’t choke) I always wanted to see just where that respect came from, so I for one am excited to see his foul stench stink up  Clone Wars. The first episode featuring Tarkin airs Friday, February 18^th.

 

X-Men First Class Trailer Released, Fanboys Do The Usual About Face

Oh fanboys. Your reaction patterns are as easy to predict as the swallows returning to Capistrano. First, pics are revealed early from a comic book movie that everyone jumps on and hates on, talking trash left and right on them. Then, when an actual well made trailer appears, everyone shuts up. Such is the case with the trailer for X-Men:First Class released this week.  With all the noise being made about Captain America, Thor, and Green Lantern, First Class was the one people were talking about the least. Well, no more. Seems everyone is excited for this one now. In conjunction with the release of the teaser trailer this week, producer Bryan Singer  revealed to the LA Times that while Havok is obviously not Cyclop’s younger brother in this movie (as Cyclops presumably has yet to be born) there will be some kind of connection between the two. Some of that might be played out in a First Class sequel. I can only hope it is set in the 80’s, and we can see Scott and Jean without the Wolverine distraction. And also an actual well cast version of Storm for once. Maybe in full on 80’s regalia? I can only hope.

I can only hope that summer 2011 is the comic book movie equivalent of summer 2008. That summer, we had four comic book /super hero movies released; two were outright classics (Iron Man and The Dark Knight of course) and the other two were very good, if not quite in the same league (The Incredible Hulk and Hellboy II) There wasn’t a Batman and Robin or LXG among them. Let’s cross our fingers and hope Summer 2011 is more like that.

Fantastic Four Gives Way To New FF: The Future Foundation

In more Marvel related news, this time about the actual comics, 2011 brings about the end of the Fantastic Four. But not the FF. With the apparent loss of Johnny Storm in last months issue, the Fantistic Four comic has ended and will soon be replaced with a new title: The Future Foundation, or just FF for short. In May, FF#1 will debut, and filling in the Johnny Storm slot will be none other than Spider-Man (seriously, at this point, why doesn’t Spidey just join the X-Men too? Good grief.) Of course, as cool as all this sounds, don’t get too attached to this Future Foundation comic for long. The “final” issue of Fantastic Four will be issue #588. Knowing Marvel’s publishing patterns, the new FF series will run for about a year, then by the time we reach what would be Fantastic Four #600 next year, Johnny will be found alive, and the old title and numbering will resume. But I’m not knocking Marvel for trying to get some publicity for the old FF; the current writer Jonathan Hickman has been doing a great job on the book, and if this brings more people to the title and it gets more attention, then so be it. Besides, over the 50 years of Fantastic Four history, Reed Richards, Susan Storm and Ben Grimm have all “died” at one point or another. It was just Johnny’s turn.

Logan To Run All Over Again

Add yet another flick to the Hollywood remake list: Logan’s Run will be running again, with Ryan Gosling as the star, and Nicolas Winding Refn directing. For those who don’t know, Logan was a minor pre Star Wars sci fi hit. Set in a bleak future where resources are preserved by the state by killing everyone on their 30^th birthday; Those who try to escape their fate are known as “Runners”  Although it came out just the year before Star Wars, the two movies look almost a decade apart in terms of effects and just about everything. Aside from Luke and Han’s hair, the aesthetic of Star Wars remains timeless, while the look of Logan’s Run is strictly 70’s. (some of it looks just like an average 70’s shopping mall because It was shot in an actual 70’s shopping mall) Based on the 1967 novel of the same name, the movie changed many details (such as the age of death being 30 instead of 21) With the casting of Ryan Gosling, it is likely that the original’s movie death age of 30 will remain.

Although I am usually down on these remakes, Logan’s Run is actually a movie that can be improved on. Warners has been trying for years, first with Bryan Singer; Singer was said to be “drawn to the themes of the obsession with youth and mortality in as utopian society” (I think Singer was more interested in the “youth” part. In Singer’s world, 21 year old boys are too old too.) After Singer dropped out, a ton of other names were bandied about, before landing on the director of Drive and Bronson, Nicolas Winding Refn. Now with the lead cast and a director too, it looks like this might be the team that finally gets this project running again. So to speak.

This week I had the good fortune of getting my grubby little paws on the pilot script for David E. Kelley’s much anticipated (or dreaded) television relaunch of Wonder Woman. This script is dated as December 16, 2010, and it is marked as a first draft, so many changes can happen from now till it gets shot. I imagine at least one more revision is in order here. I’m not going to go into too many plot details here, mostly because the actual plot is nothing to really write home about. It is neither painfully cliché, nor is it really original in any way either. Serviceable is the best word. But if you really wanna know, The long and short of the plot it is this: SPOILERS Wonder Woman fights a corrupt company who are using human subjects as guinea pigs for their own super soldier program. In between action sequences at the beginning and end, she talks a lot with her best friend, does some investigating, and even testifies before the Senate. END SPOILERS. That is the plot in a nutshell. Instead, I’m gonna talk about the characters, the moments, and the overall feel of it, because that is the stuff that I know Wonder Woman fans would want to know about.

Let’s talk the character of Wonder Woman herself first. Here, she has two distinct identities: First one is that of Diana Themyscira, Chairman of Themyscira Industries. The world at large knows that Diana Themyscira and super hero Wonder Woman are one and the same, so they are not really separate personas.  Diana Themyscira is a very public figure, who has a penthouse atop her corporate HQ, along with a fleet of state of the art planes. No real mention is made of what her costume looks like, aside from being “multicolored spandex”. It is definitely not the old Lynda Carter costume, although it is said that she did wear that one back in the day, and there is a scene where the old suit hangs in her closet. Diana also has another identity though, that of mousy nobody Diana Prince. Apparently she achieves this mousiness by wearing her hair in an unflattering manner, using brown contact lenses, and thick Clark Kent glasses. (So in other words, the tv idea of homely) As Diana Prince, she maintains a regular apartment and even has a cat. Apparently, she does this so she can “Be one of the people, not just among the people”  How she manages to juggle being a company big wig, super hero and ordinary plain Jane isn’t something that is really explained or developed, and if I had to guess that something gets dropped by the second draft, it would be the Diana Prince secret identity thing.

The majority of the rest of the cast is a mixed bag from the comic books history (something that actually surprised me, to be honest. I was expecting no characters from the comics aside from Diana herself) We have her Press Secretary Myndi Mayer (a character created from the 1980’s George Perez reboot) filling the best friend role. Also from the Perez run of the book we get inspector Ed Indelicato, now her contact within the LAPD. From the original 40’s run of comics, we get Etta Candy, who is now Diana’s bubbly personal assistant. A new character, Henry Demeter, is the CEO of Themyscira Industries, and seems to be based slightly on the character of Jonah Miller in Greg Rucka’s run on the comic.  The main villain of the piece is Veronical Cale, another Greg Rucka creation, who is essentially her version Lex Luthor. It seems they are setting up Cale as her #1 nemesis for the series, and for a television show this makes sense, as she is more of a mastermind character and ideal polar oppostie to Wonder Woman. And last but not least, there is Steve Trevor, Diana’s ex boyfriend and her reason for coming to our world. He is featured here in the script as well, although not as much as you’d think. There are some new characters too, in somewhat small roles. Diana’s Evidence Team, a trio of Lab Geeks referred to as “The Animals.” They are pretty much cliché science nerds, although at least this time there is a woman among them. I imagine they will have bigger roles as the show develops; they have the potential to be the most annoying characters on the show if done wrong, or fan favorites if done right.

Now let’s talk the the tone of the script. It is not a campy comedy as some feared it would be, but not overly serious either. I suppose the best description is action/dramedy. For those of you who are now instantly turned off by that, remember that is essentially what Buffy the Vampire Slayer was too. There are a lot of moments of humor, and while some work, some really don’t. David E. Kelly (who I will refer to just as DEK from now on, for brevity’s sake) is WAY too reliant on pop songs for humorous effect for my taste. The opening sequence, where Wonder Woman chases a chemically enhanced thug through the streets of Los Angeles, has Beyonce’s Single Ladies playing over it. (yeah, because that song isn’t tired and played out yet) What would be an otherwise fun action scene is ruined by DEK’s tendency to throw in pop songs that are just waay too on the nose, or just the opposite, have no point at all.  The script has a list of songs he wants to use, and valuable screen time is wasted with things like Diana’s crime lab geeks dancing around to Kanye West, or Diana singing along to old Blondie songs on the radio. But aside from some of those glaringly bad moments, I would say the overall tone is consistent and light and fun, although at the same time not really super compelling either. If done right, this could at least be decent popcorn television.

Much like Smallville, this version of Wonder Woman picks from various different parts of the character’s 70 year history; we have Wonder Woman’s classic 1941 origin presented here, in which Air Force pilot Steve Trevor crash lands on Paradise Island, Diana saves him from the wreckage and they fall in love. She chooses to escort him home (there is no mention of the Amazon contest to escort Trevor home, but they are probably saving that for future episode flashbacks) There is also a lot of the modern 80’s George Perez reboot Wonder Woman here too.  Like in Greg Rucka’s excellent run on the book, circa 2003-2006, Diana is a very public figure, with a staff that has to arrange press conferences, run interference with the media, and do things like get her to sign off on likeness rights for lunchboxes.  And as I mentioned earlier, in a nod to her Golden and Silver Age stories, Wonder Woman had the Clark Kent like secret ID of Diana Prince. We do not see her mother Queen Hippolyta in any of the flashbacks, although she does have a photo of her she looks at longingly, along with her sister Donna. I imagine both are intended to show up at some point, at least in flashback. The script describes Paradise Island as being possibly in another dimension and nearly impossible to get to, so sadly the majority of the Paradise Island stuff is probably going to be seen in flashbacks only, at least for awhile.

I’ll admit in my last week’s Week In Geek column, I rallied against much in this script without having read it first.And I stand by all that venom, as reading the actual script hasn’t changed my mind on the things that are just out and out mistakes. However, there are things I dug about this script. So let’s get to the stuff I actually liked first.

The Good

I like that Wonder Woman is a fully fledged super hero from frame one. I was fearful this was going to go the Smallville route, where we spend a whole series about how a character “becomes” a hero, instead of her just being one. Her origin is told in brief flashbacks, but could be even more fleshed out in future episodes. But from the opening scenes, Wonder Woman is Wonder Woman, and I found that refreshing.

A lot of Wonder Woman’s characterization is also  pretty accurate. I would say that Diana as presented in DEK’s script is 80% the comic book character we know and love. Diana is kind, loved by her staff of loyal employees, and much like modern interpretations of the character, is someone who stands up for those who don’t have a voice. She is the champion of the little guy. As Wonder Woman, she is also strong and confident, especially in a fight.  There was a scene at the climax of the script where she takes on twenty some enhanced thugs, and I really can’t wait to see that on screen.  Yes, she is not as strong here as she is in the comics (where she can go toe to toe with Superman) but as far as I can tell, there are no other super heroes in this world to compare her to. Plus, her power levels are comparable to what they were at the time she made her comic book debut, so I can live with it. Not to mention, this is still TV. Even Clark doesn’t fly on Smallville. I can live with Wonder Woman being slightly less powerful here.

The Bad

Almost Total Lack of Magic and Myth

While Diana is still a super powered Amazon from Paradise Island in this script, and she still has her signature bracelets and magic lasso, all these things are left unexplained. She has these attributes because she has to if this show is still going to be called Wonder Woman, but what we don’t know is how she got them, or got to be the way she is now.  No mention is made of the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus, the source of Wonder Woman’s powers. I certainly wasn’t expecting them to have a physical presence in the show, at least not yet or in the way we are used to, but there should be a scene where Diana explains to someone (and therefore the audience) just what the hell these things are and how they work.  I would imagine the world at large wouldn’t believe her, and even some of her friends and employees wouldn’t believe her either. Many would think she was just nuts. (much the same way no one believed Thor was a true Norse God in the original run of Mark Millar’s The Ultimates comic, and thought he was just a super powered looney) But of course we the audience would know she is telling the truth. Plus, it hints at a greater world that could come into play later in the show.

Also, this whole notion that Paradise Island is almost impossible to get to,  and even harder to get back to once you leave it, just sounds like a cheap ass way to not use the island and keep everything in our world. It also sounds a lot like a Lost knock off. Sure, regular joe schmoes should not be able to find the island, but Diana should be able to go back whenever she pleases. It seems that at the end of the pilot script, there are strong hints that Diana is going to try to find a way back home, but it should happen sooner rather than later.

It just feels like DEK feels all the aspects of Wonder Woman’s mythos that are too “comic booky” or fantastic should be dropped. Another way in which he feels ashamed of the comic booky nature of the character is that while Wonder Woman has a fleet of high tech planes, none of them has an invisible stealth mode. Star Trek has been pulling off ships with cloaking devices for years on television, but I guess that is too out there for Kelley. This is a show about an Amazon who gets her powers from Ancient Greek Gods. Either embrace that aspect, or do another show please.

Wonder Woman Is TOO MUCH Like “One Of Us”

There is always a lot of criticism from fanboys that Wonder Woman is too non relatable of a character; she comes from a foreign culture with weird beliefs, and that is usually the go to reason for why they say they dislike her (although I’d say 90% of these same fanboys are OK with Thor, but that is for another column) It seems DEK went out of his way to make his version of Diana “relatable”.  And while that is admirable, unfortunately, he goes too far out of his way, and the result is Wonder Woman doesn’t sound like someone from a strange, far off land at all. She might as well be any American woman. The Diana of this script has been in our world at least for a decade, true. But ask any foreigner who has came to our country in their early 20’s and ask them if they ever feel  100% like they are one of us. Sure, Diana pines for her homeland in portions of this script, but if it wasn’t for certain brief flashbacks, her homeland could just easily be Wisconsin for all we know. She uses phrases like “Lucy got some ‘splanin to do” and “Lets git down to bidness.”  They all sound like phrases someone who grew up her might say, not someone who is a somewhat recent immigrant. These are part of the reasons why I think DEK just doesn’t really get the character 100%.

The Feminist Icon Is A Bit Non Feminist If You Ask Me

This is probably the single worst offense of the script, and why a lot of people are going to hate on it.  DEK’s Wonder Woman is a fierce fighter, an idealistic crusader for the poor and disenfranchised, but when it comes to her ex, she is reduced to a crying, weepy mess. When she first sees her ex love Steve Trevor at a Senate hearing, she gets all weak in the knees (Steve Trevor is no longer a pilot at this point, and is now a lawyer with the Justice Department. David E. Kelley seemingly can’t NOT have a lawyer somewhere in one of his shows) Her guard goes down, and we finally see what it is that makes the mighty Wonder Woman flinch. And all of this is ok. I have NO problem with Diana having a love interest, or someone she carries a torch for. It does humanize her, and if she is going to have a love interest, it might as well be Steve Trevor, who was her male Lois Lane for her first 45 years of comic book history.

No, what is terrible is that at the very end of the script, after saving the day and countless lives, she pulls out Steve’s picture from her drawer, curls up in bed in the fetal position and cries herself to sleep.  All because she saw her ex boyfriend who she broke up with four years ago, and now he’s newly married (which is exactly the same set up for Ally McBeal’s pilot episode by the way) Instead of ending Wonder Woman’s reintroduction to the world on a triumphant note, DEK ends it with her hugging her pillow like a teenage girl. I can only imagine that Kelley thinks that with a beautiful, super strong woman who seemingly has it all, that American women will hate her unless she is seen as not being able to keep a man. But I would like to have more faith in women than that.

In another moment that is mind numbingly sexist, Diana chastises a toy manufacturer of Wonder Woman dolls in order to get him to reduce the breast size on them. Not because having dolls with big tits is damaging to the self image of young girls, but because when people meet her in real life, they are disappointed by the size of her real breasts. Wonder Woman shouldn’t ever have body issues, because where she is from she didn’t grow up with unrealistic expectations on what women are supposed to look like because there are no men.  Plus, where she is from, all the women look the same, more or less.  The whole scene is degrading for a character that little girls are supposed to look up to.

How To Fix It

With some serious tweaking, the basic premise of this show doesn’t have to suck. Yes, having Diana run a corporation is different from her being an ambassador, but in many instances during Greg Rucka’s run of the title, Diana seemed to essentially be running Wonder Woman, Inc. This isn’t that different. Diana’s mission in our world needs to be defined better. Hell, it needs to be defined period.  It seems like in this script, the only reason she came to Man’s World was because she fell in love with a pilot. Sure, in her classic origin, she came to our world because she fell in love, but also to fight the Nazi scourge and preserve freedom. In her modern interpretation, she came to spread the ideals of love and peace to humanity. I find it hard to swallow that her main mission in our world is to just beat up thugs on the streets of Los Angeles. That’s pretty weak sauce. Helping out the police should be her hobby, not her passion. And it is never fully explained just what her company actually does. She is a billionaire, but does she need all those billions just to fund a crime lab? Shouldn’t her company’s primary goal be helping out the needy? Creating clean technologies? Making the world a better place?? Again, another aspect of the show totally ill defined.

And don’t shy away from the magic and mythology aspects. They are what make Wonder Woman who she is. It would be like leaving Krypton out of a Superman show. In the last decade, audiences have embraced things like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and other things with magic in them.  Sure, there are a large portion of the American audience who still won’t watch anything but procedurals and sitcoms (we call them the CBS viewers) but they are never gonna watch a show called Wonder Woman anyway.

And for heaven’s sake, DO NOT make Diana a weepy mess who turns into a useless puddle on the floor the minute anything having to do with a man she has feelings for comes into play. In many ways, this is the most important thing they need to avoid when it comes to this show, and seemingly the one thing DEK can’t get a grasp on.

 

The Final Verdict

While aspects of this show could be fixed, my fear is that David E Kelley is totally out of his depth with this series. The action scenes are few, essentially saved for the beginning and the end sequences. His best written scene is where he has Diana on the stand testifying before Congress, and it is clear that this is where DEK’s heart lies. He knows how to write people on the stand, making passionate speeches. But this is an action adventure show, and he can’t have this kind of courtroom speechifying thing all the time. There is no hint at a grander mythology here, no tease of something bigger to get you back the next week, like in the pilot for Alias. Instead, it ends with a woman crying over a guy.

If DEK gets an awesome writing staff, one hopefully made up of people who once wrote for the likes of Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams, writers with some actual geek cred, maybe they could concoct something awesome. DEK simply isn’t geeky enough to know how to do a super hero show right, at least not alone. He gets Wonder Woman’s strong social consciousness, and her take no prisoners warrior attitude, and overall kindness to those around her (I am actually glad he resisted the temptation to make her a bitch in a power suit) but there is still way too much Ally McBeal and not enough Princess Diana of Themyscira.

As a Wonder Woman fan, the success of this show matters to me, because if it fails (which is likely) that is IT for Wonder Woman as a viable property. No future movies, cartoons, etc. The franchise will be considered toxic, and aside from maybe being in a future JLA movie, that will be it. Think they are ever going to attempt another Catwoman movie? She’ll never get her Batman or Hulk like reboot. The same thing will happen with Wonder Woman. So I really hope the writers and prodcuers bring their A Game to this show, and make something that honors the legacy of the most famous female super hero in the world.

 Superman Casting Galore

So much for running my pic of Joe Manganiello from True Blood as Superman last week as being good luck; :/

This week is was announced that Kal-El had been found for Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot, The Man of Steel. And it was someone who was this close to getting the part nearly seven years ago, a Brit actor by the name of Henry Cavill. Cavill is best known here in the states for his role on Showtime’s The Tudors. Apparently, he was the frontrunner back in 2004, when the Superman project was then going to be the one directed by McG and based off of JJ Abrams script (the script where Krypton doesn’t blow up, Lex is a CIA agent as well as an alien, and the super suit is alive. The next time you bitch about Superman Returns, think about the bullet you dodged there) In any event, Henry Cavill didn’t get the part, the project was shelved and when it got revived, it turned into Bryan Singer’s movie where he wanted a Chris Reeve lookalike, and Cavill was out.

As it turns out, seven years ago he looked to young for the part anyway, but has since matured into a perfect looking Superman, so good things come to those who wait I guess.

Also this week it was announced that the contenders for the female love interest in The Man of Steel are down to three actresses –Rosamund Pike, Alice Eve, and Diane Kruger. Rumored earlier in the week was that wet dishrag of an actress Kristen Stewart, but thankfully she turned the gig down. One less thing I have to see her stupid pouty face in.  But get this…the love interest is not Lois Lane. Is it Lana Lang? With Smallville still fresh in everyone’s minds, you would think the Clark/Lana love story had been done to death, but unlike Batman (who is a pimp) Superman’s love interests can be counted on one hand. One hand that is missing a thumb even. All the actresses mentioned for the love interest part are blonde, so maybe that is a clue? David Goyer did create a new love interest for Batman in the form of Rachel Dawes for his Batman movies he wrote, so there is a precedent for him creating someone totally new here too. Hopefully, in keeping with tradition for Superman’s girlfriends, her initials will still he L.L.

Dark Shadows Cast Begins To Take Shape

Tim Burton’s big screen remake of 60’s cheese fest soap opera Dark Shadows has made its first non Johnny Depp casting announcements this week; first we have “creepy little guy” du jour Jackie Earle Hayley as Willie, the human slave of vampire Barnabas Collins (think Igor) also cast is Eva Green, 007’s Vesper Lynd, as the evil witch Angelique. And lastly, Bella Heathcote as Victoria Winters, Barnabas Collins love interest who looks just like his long dead mortal love. (I don’t know what sounds more like a Jane Austen character, her real name or the character she is playing) In the old tv series, Victoria was a governess, in this version she will be a waitress, shades of True Blood’s Sookie Stackhouse. 

 

Although I have been burned many times recently by these Tim Burton re imaginings, Dark Shadows has been a passion project for Johnny Depp for something like ten years now.  He was a huge fan of the show growing up and idolized vampire Barnabas Collins, and went out of his way to obtain the rights. If anyone can convince Tim Burton not to phone it in on this one, it is his BFF Depp, so maybe…maybe this will be good.

But probably not.

Add Another One To The Ever-Growing Cast of The Dark Knight Rises 

Another week, another Bat flick casting announcement. We have word this week that Joseph Gordon Levitt, most recently seen in Chris Nolan’s Inception, and an all together awesome actor, will be in an unspecified role in The Dark Knight Rises. Everyone online is assuming he is some as of yet unannounced villain, but the truth is he could just as easily be a cop on the GCPD or anything really. Still, with an actor as good as JGL, you would imagine he would get a meaty part, so maybe he will be a villain after all. He would be a perfect Riddler, but sadly they have already announced that that character is not going to be in this movie. (But maybe Edward Nigma is? Hmmmm)  Before you start thinking Spider-Man 3 villain overload mess, remember that Batman Begins had Ra’s al Ghul, Scarecrow, and mobster Carmine Falcone, and The Dark Knight had Joker, Two Face and Sal Maroni. Maybe JGL is playing some kind of mob villain? Who knows, so many of the casting announcements on this movie have been so left field (Tom Hardy as Bane for example) that for all I know JGL is playing Batgirl.

 

Platinum Dunes Sets Their Evil Eyes Elsewhere

First the good news; Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay’s company responsible for most of the soulless remakes of 70’s and 80’s horror classics in the past decade, have announced they are not going to be making sequels to either the  crappy Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street remakes. Apparently, according to a Platinum Dunes spokesman, “there is no interest in R Rated Horror right now” (Also, there is possibly no interest in sequels to your movies because the remakes sucked) Now to the bad news: Platinum Dunes has moved on to remaking your favorite childhood adventure movies, and work is apparently coming along swimmingly on both the remakes of The Monster Squad and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes. Now, I was 15 when the original TMNT movie came out, and therefore just old enough to not give a fuck about the turtles, but I understand for many of you out there, this will be just like when Platinum Dunes took Freddy Krueger, touched him where his bathing suit covered, and asked him not to tell anyone. That is what the Nightmare remake was like for me. Now your precious Turtles are next…the cycle of abuse continues. It should be noted that Platinum Dunes is  not responsible alone for the horror remake avalanche; Paramount announced this week their plans to remake Stephen King’s Pet Sematary as well. There are molesters everywhere in Hollywood.

Wonder Woman TV Pilot Script Reviews Emerge Online

And you know that means a rant from yours truly. File this one under “Be careful what you wish for”

In the final news regarding a member of DC Comics’ “Holy Trinity” for the week, reviews for the pilot script for David E. Kelley’s tv reboot of Wonder Woman started making their way around the internet. Sites like Bleeding Cool, DC Women Kicking Ass,  The Daily Beast and iFanboy got their hands on an early copy. To say reaction was mixed is being kind.

At first, at least for me, it seemed there were several positive things about the script based on descriptions alone.Wonder Woman’s classic origin, where pilot Steve Trevor crash lands on the Amazon island of Themyscira and returns to our world with Princess Diana in tow, seemed intact. Many of the characters from the comic books’ most critically beloved runs were included, much to my surprise. Steve Trevor and Etta Candy from the Golden Age, publicist Myndi Mayer and Police Inspector Ed Indelicato from the George Perez 1980’s reboot, and villain Veronica Cale from Greg Rucka’s excellent run on the title in the mid 2000’s. Wondy even has a pic of her mother, Queen Hippolyta and her sister Donna Troy on her mantle. It seemed like Kelley did his homework, and on more than just the old TV show. This was a pleasant surprise for me.

But then other details started to come in as more reviews popped up online, and it proved that this was indeed what we all feared: Ally McBeal posing as a Super Hero.  In this version of the script, Diana Themyscira is a well known celeb and everyone knows she is Wonder Woman as well. (this is true of the modern version of the comic book character as well, to be fair) She runs her own company, Themyscira Industries, named after her native homeland. Ok, a departure from the comics, but it isn’t like Wonder Woman hasn’t been a public figure with a large support staff before (see Greg Rucka’s run) But it seems that this company of hers, which makes billions, just goes into funding her high tech crime lab. Now, if she was pouring this money into altruistic global concerns? That would be in character. But having her be a straight up capitalist is very NOT in character. Tony Stark she is not. First big fail.

Also, her mission is totally ill defined. Aside from chasing thugs and low lifes, what is her purpose for being in our world? Why was she sent here? Who knows. The script seems to have no interest in that. The Greek  mythology seems to be totally absent as well. Diana has her magic lasso and bracelets, but no mention is made of the Gods or why this glowing rope makes people tell the truth, or the bracelets deflect buttlets. They just does because…well, because Wonder woman has a lasso and bullet proof bracelets, and everyone knows that. Except everyone doesn’t know that; this show will be someone’s first intro to the character, and these things need to be explained and given meaning. But it seems clear Kelley has no interest in the larger mythology of the show.

Aside from all these character and mythology issues, the worst part is aspects of the script are VERY non feminist. To make a non feminist show is bad enough in this day and age, but to take a feminist icon and strip her of what makes her a role model for young women is unforgivable. In this script, Wonder Woman wants the boobs on her action figures reduced, because “when people meet her in real life, they end up disappointed”  The comic book Wonder Woman doesn’t give a flying fuck what men think of her titty size, because she grew up in a world without having to live up to impossible standards, because there were no men.  Also, the Diana in this script is still pining over her lost love, Steve Trevor. He brought her to our world, and they had a romance that ended badly. All of that is ok, he was her love interest for 45 years of comic book history after all, but apparently her relationship with him has such a stranglehold on her still, the script ends with her crying herself to sleep over him. Fuck that. Fuck that right in the ear.

I get that you are trying to make her relatable to American women Mr.Kelley. But Wonder Woman also needs to be inspiring to women as well.  She can’t be worried about what men (or anyone) think about her cup size, she can’t be crying all the time about an ex boyfriend because he is dating someone else now and she is too busy (you know, saving the world and shit) and for God’s sake, she needs to be able to to talk to the women in her life about things other than men.  You can’t sell to girls and women this idea that their entire reason for existence is to attract men.  Does Batman only talk to Alfred and Gordon about chicks? No. Does Superman only talk to Perry and Jimmy and his dead father about Lois? No. But it seems that 90% of Diana’s conversations in this script are about men. Because no matter what, women only think about guys. She even has an ice cream pajama sleepover with her BFF Myndi in the script; if this were a show from the likes of Joss Whedon or JJ Abrams, that could be cute and endearing. There were ice cream sleepovers on Buffy and Alias after all. But it seems the general tone of this show is “it is so hard to be me/ice cream sleepover/boys are mean” If that is the case, then who are they making this show for?

Geoff Johns has gone on record saying that the purpose of his job at DC Entertainment as CCO  is to make sure that their beloved characters are not bastardized in the media. So far, when it comes to Batman and Superman and probably Green Lantern (from everything I’ve seen) then job well done. Can’t Wonder Woman be afforded the same respect?

Prepare to Get De Rezzed Once Again

Get ready to return to the Grid; it was leaked by various news sites this week that Tron: Legacy has just reached the tipping point in terms of profits to have a sequel greenlit by Disney. In fact, there was even a trailer shot for a potential Tron 3 featuring Cilian Murphy (who you might have noticed made a quick cameo in Legacy) and David Warner from the original movie who played Dillinger/Master Control, made exlusively for the upcoming DVD and Blu Ray release.

Now, there are many naysayers online who say that Tron:Legacy was a flop, despite the fact that it is about to finish out it’s run at about $170 domestic, $350 million total worldwide…not bad for a sequel to a movie that came out twenty eight years ago and tanked. Remember, Disney looks at the bigger picture, not just box office, and Tron sold lots of toys and merch. With a cartoon series premiering next year on Disney XD, there is no way Disney is giving up on this franchise after taking all this time to rebuild it. If GI Joe and Clash of the Titans can get sequels (each of which made less that Tron:Legacy did) then this is a no brainer.

Besides, I want the Tron franchise to continue just because I want a Tron attraction in Tomorrowland at Disneyland so bad I can taste it.

 

 

 Alien “Not A Prequel” Prometheus Really Is A Prequel After All? So Confused…

So first it was announced that Ridley Scott was making a prequel to Alien, then just a few weeks ago that prequel morphed into an original sci fi concept now called Prometheus. Scott said there would still be some thematic elements that tie the two series together, but now the movie had grown far beyond being just a prequel to his 1979 classic.

However, It appears that Ridely Scott’s comments that this would be a departure from the original Alien series was not entirely truthful. It seems that not only is the alien derelict ship from the original film being rebuilt at Pinewood studios in the UK, but according to Sky.com, so are the classic HR Giger designed xenomorph aliens that we all know and love. And not just a cameo, but as crucial aspects to the story. In addition, Michael Fassbender has just been cast an android in the tradition of Ash and Bishop from the classic films. And it seems we are finally going to see just where the Aliens come from; parts of the film will be shot in Morocco, which will be used as the xenomorph homeworld.

 

The Curse of the Hobbit

I’m not one to believe in Hollywood curses (except for Poltergeist; that fuckin’ movie was cursed. Google that shit) but more and more I think that The Hobbit might really be cursed too. After what seemed like years of delays and false starts, all the pieces finally started to come together, and everything was set for a spring start date. But then this past Wednesday night, director Peter Jackson was admitted into a New Zealand hospital after experiencing acute stomach pains. A statement was released saying that once he was admitted to the hospital, he underwent surgery for a perforated ulcer. He is said to be currently resting and is expected to make a full recovery. Filming on The Hobbit is said to only be slightly delayed, but considering how everything else has gone wrong with this series lately, all I can say is this news makes me a wee bit nervous. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya, PJ. And not just because I want my Hobbit movie. Although, mostly because I want my Hobbit movie.

 

 

 Joe Manganiello One Step Closer to Being The Man of Steel

This week via his Twitter account, Geoff Boucher of The Los Angeles Times Hero Complex blog left the following message. “Is True Blood werewolf star Joe Manganiello a frontrunner to play Superman? That’s the rumor du jour in Hollywood” Other reputable sources ran the same story as well. I ran this rumor a few months back, but now it seems he really is the frontrunner as far as Warner Brothers is concerned. This pleases me to no end, as I think of him as the perfect Kal-El, so hopefully if I keep running this photoshopped pic of him as Superman, then it’ll happen.

 

 

 

Abe Lincoln Found

No, not for the often rumored and delayed Spielberg biopic about the real 16th President, but for the Tim Burton produced/Timur Bekmambetov directed version of Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And our Abe is none other than….Benjamin Walker. Yeah, I’ve never really heard of him either. Apparently he was almost cast as the Beast in X-Men First Class before dropping out. Guess Fox wasn’t too peeved at him, because they gave him this part over the likes of Adrien Brody, Timothy Olyphant and Josh Lucas. I hope Fox went with him because he was the best for the part, not just the cheapest.

Oh, this is Fox, who am I kidding? It’s probably ’cause our boy here comes cheap.

 

 

Back in early October, it was announced that David E. Kelley, producer of such television hits as Ally McBeal, The Practice, Boston Legal, and a few other shows (some even not about lawyers) was going to bring back DC Comics’ Amazing Amazon back to television, after nearly a decade of false starts trying to get a movie off the ground. Then, two weeks ago, it was announced that every network passed on the project, and a live action Wonder Woman was once again a dead as a doornail.

But in Hollywood sometimes, a lot can happen in two weeks. NBC got bought out, and the new management wanted in on the Wonder Woman pilot after all. And so just like that, Wondy is back on. Of course, this is just a pick up for a pilot…it is possible that this will be shot and not become a series and just air as a tv movie, or maybe never even aired like that Aquaman pilot a few years ago called Mercy Reef. But due to the high profile creator and property, I’d say it is a safe bet this is going to series at this point, especially after all this back and forth with the project. With the added info this week that NBC is looking to movie director McG to helm the pilot, chances are that as of now anyway, this one is going to happen.

I am a gigantic Wonder Woman fan, but as happy as I am that the character is finally being taken out of mothballs and getting some kind of media exposure…I will also say the official description given by the network in regard to the show gives me pause. It goes something like this:

The project is described as a reinvention of the iconic D.C. comic in which Wonder Woman — aka Diana Prince — is a vigilante crime fighter in L.A. but also a successful corporate executive and a modern woman trying to balance all of the elements of her extraordinary life.

Ummm….Huh?

Corporate executive by day, vigilante by night? Isn’t that Batman?

Ok, maybe I’m getting panicky too early here. After all, this description came from Deadline.com, a non geek oriented site. To normies, all super hero characters are “vigilantes.” But corporate exec? True, in the comics Diana has had a variety of jobs, from military officer to working for NASA to ambassador to boutique owner to server in a Mexican fast food establishment. Yes, really. 

Unlike Superman or Batman or even Green Lantern, she isn’t tied down to one particular job like they are. A big corporation sounds antithetical to what Wonder Woman is about on paper. (maybe this corporation she works for is a charitable organization? That at least would fit with the character) So there are legit reasons why I’m worried, as are many devoted Wonder fans. David E. Kelley is talented, and has a proven track record. But not with genre stuff. Maybe he is a secret geek (he is married to Catwoman after all) but I’ve never seen or heard anything to support that. My greatest fear is that this is going to be just like the Halle Berry Catwoman movie; take a well known name and property, and turn it into something totally different.

Reasons To Remain Optimistic

According to Entertainment Weekly, David Kelley’s take incorporated the superhero’s signature lasso, cuffs, and plane in the script, and insiders said it was a serious, non-campy take on the DC Comics character. So at least that is encouraging. Given all that, I’m also going to assume the costume will still be used in some form too.  Also, in the past year, DC Comics has become DC Entertainment, and Geoff Johns was appointed CCO of the company to insure we don’t get bastardized versions of the comic book characters on screen anymore, thereby preventing another Halle Berry Catwoman fiasco or another Jonah Hex. Hopefully Johns does his job and we get a Diana that at least resembles the comic book character.

Best Case Scenario, Or What I Want To See In A Wonder Woman Show

I would love a weekly Wonder Woman series that had her fighting Mythological monsters, beheading Medusas, and taming Pegasuses (Pegusi?) all in between being a UN Ambassador. But that ain’t gonna happen on a tv budget, no matter how bad I want it. Or if it did happen, it would probably look like crap. That doesn’t mean that the Greek Mythology can’t be a part of the series…it needs to be or this isn’t Wonder Woman. But there are other ways of presenting that aspect without getting all low rent Clash of the Titans on us. So here are some of the steps I feel need to be taken if Wonder Woman is going to work on the small screen and still be Wonder Woman. So listen up David E. Kelley and NBC and especially Geoff Johns, whose job it is to protect these properties. Here is what you gotta do:

Look to Joss Whedon’s Angel for Inspiration

Angel, Joss Whedon’s vampire with a soul, also ran a corporation and fought off monsters in the streets of Los Angeles on his series.  On Angel, the corporation he ran, a “law firm” called Wolfram & Hart, took orders from mysterious demonic “senior partners” whom we never see and are off in some other dimension. What if the company that Diana runs is run by the far off (and therefore unseen)  Gods of Olympus? Or What if the Gods live on Earth now in human form, manipulating events?  That is one way to go that isn’t too expensive for television, and still retain the greek myth aspect that has to remain or this simply isn’t Wonder Woman.

Get A Great Supporting Cast

Unlike Superman and Batman, Wonder Woman’s supporting cast has always fluctuated in the comics. Characters come and go in her world. So in this sense, the tv show isn’t tied down to having any one set cast from the books. They are free to create new figures in her life, and therefore create dramatic tension (something missing for characters like Lois or Lana on Smallville, who we know aren’t going to die because, well…they are not “destined” to for the future Superman) Hopefully we’ll see characters from the comics like Steve Trevor or Donna Troy in the show, but no one is gonna cry if they don’t show up right away. Get her a solid supporting cast on this show, populated with actors that audiences know and like. No series can rest on just the lead.

All Hail The Queen

Ok, remember what I just said about Diana not having a regular supporting cast from the comics that needs to be in the show? Ok, that’s true except for one major exception: Her mother, Queen Hippolyta. They have one of the best parent/child relationships in comics, made even cooler by the fact that Hippolyta is a fierce warrior herself, and has even filled in for Diana as Wonder Woman at times.  Along with her mother, Diana also needs the other Amazons and Themyscira (AKA Paradise Island) as well. I realize making Themyscira is kinda pricey, and chances are it won’t be able to be used in every episode, but Wonder Woman needs it as much as Bruce Wayne needs his Batcave and Superman needs his Fortress of Solitude.  Besides, this is a Warner Brothers production…don’t tell me there aren’t some sets and costumes you can’t recycle from movies like Troy or 300. Also, I am not against stunt casting the role of Hippolyta either. Lucy Lawless anyone? 

 

and while we are on the subject of stunt casting, hopefully David Kelley can get his wife Michelle Pfeiffer as Circe…or maybe even Athena? How sweet would that be?

Don’t Mess With the Costume…Too Much

Ok, the old Lynda Carter satin tights from the show ain’t gonna cut it anymore. Even I agree with that. BUT…the costume still needs to retain its familiar silhouette. Meaning NO stupid 90’s jacket, and NO mom pants.  This design below from artist Josh McMahon is perfect for live action; it instantly evokes the comic book look but also evokes the notion that she is a warrior from a formidable race. And if you think these are still too outlandish for tv, then let me remind you of a little show called Xena: Warrior Princess that ran for six seasons whose lead was wearing something very similar.

And lasty, don’t forget….Wonder Woman is a political figure. She was created to be that way, and through her many incarnations over 70 years, that part has always stayed true. She is meant to inspire people first, teach by example, and use violence as a last resort.  She was quite literally created to be a symbol of empowerment and equality, not just for women, but for everybody. Don’t shy away from that, because that is the very reason she endures. Treat her with the same adherance to the comics mythology as the recent Batman movies, Superman projects and upcoming Green Lantern, and chances are you’ll have a winner and a new version of a pop culture icon.

X-Men: First Class Pics Leak Early, Online Shitstorm Ensues

Earlier in the week, the first pic of the cast of X-Men: First Class leaked online, in what looked like an obvious photoshop  mock up using several different publicity stills (none of which had yet to be released) Of course, internet fanboys, being the discerning bunch that we are, instantly started to hate on these pics for a variety of reasons. This caused director Matthew Vaughn to go to Slashfilm and essentially give a lengthy apology for the leaked pics apparent suckiness. This is what he had to say for himself:

“I freaked out on them yesterday. I don’t know where the hell that came from. I don’t think it’s a Fox image. It’s not a pre-approved image. When I found out, I said, what the fuck is this shit, and Fox is running around trying to figure out what happened as well. I agree. It’s like a bad photoshop, which maybe it was by someone. It didn’t reflect the movie. I was shocked when I saw it. I was like ‘Jesus Christ’… I’m a fan of X-Men. We’re not bastardizing X-Men, I’m trying to get them back to being whole again. 

“The costumes are blue and yellow as well, because fuck it, lets take it back it the original. Also, by the way, those costumes are hardly in the movie. The main costumes are like these cool 60’s James Bond ones…”

Boy…that is a lot of excuses. First off, I don’t think Vaughn has jack shit to apologize for. Internet fanboys bitch and complain because that is what they do. They gotta act like they know better, when nine outta ten times they are complaining for complaining’s sake. When the pics for the original X-Men movie first hit the internet way back in 2000, comic fanboys bitched and moaned about how different the costumes were from the comics. Now flash forward a decade later, and those same fanboys, now older and fatter, are bitching because the outfits look too much like the comics. You shouldn’t have to go online and explain why the costumes are yellow and blue. We know why. Nothing will make them happy until the movie comes out and either works, or doesn’t work. Just keep doing your thing Mr. Vaughn and don’t listen to fanboys. Half the time they don’t know what they’re talking about.

 

Well, except for me of course. I always know what I’m talking about.

In other X-Men: First Class news, there is a bit of speculation going around about just what comics the movie will be based on. And while the movie probably won’t be based on any one comic, apparently the core of this story will in part be based on Ed Brubaker’s 2005 mini series X-Men: Deadly Genesis, much like the core of X2 was the graphic novel X-Men: God Loves, Man Kills.

Deadly Genesis was the story the revealed that prior to Charles Xavier’s recruitment of the 2^nd Generation of X-Men in Giant Size X-Men #1 (Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, etc) to rescue the original team from the island of Krakoa, he had recruited another team first, all mutants under the care of Dr. Moira MacTaggert. He didn’t train them properly, essentially downloading months of training psychically into their brains. All were ill prepared and most died on their first mission, leading Xavier to recruit the team we all know and love today. Among the dead mutants of the unknown X-Men team were Cyclop’s brother Vulcan, which caused a rift between Cyclops and Xavier, one where Cyclops ultimately asked the Prof. to mindwipe him.

Now, we know First Class has at least some elements of this story; a team of X-Men prior to the ones we know to be the original students (in the first X-Men movie it was revealed that Cyclops, Storm and Jean were the first students) Dr. MacTaggert being a big part of the story (in Deadly Genesis, the secret team of X-Men were mutants originally under Moira’s care) and possibly the smoking gun for this theory, the inclusion in the cast of the mutant Darwin, who was part of the secret X-men team. Darwin is not shown in any of the leaked pics, but he IS confirmed as being in the movie. I imagine a pic of Darwin will show up soon, followed by an apology from Matthew Vaughn.

The Dark Knight Rises Gets Two Villains

Ending months of speculation as to who at least one of the female leads in The Dark Knight Rises is going to be, it was finally announced this week that Anne Hathaway would be joining the cast as Selina Kyle, AKA Catwoman.  Well, the official press release given by Warner Brothers doesn’t say Catwoman actually, only Selina Kyle, which has lead some to speculate that maybe Selina won’t wear the infamous catsuit or crack her whip in the movie. But while I think she probably won’t be Catwoman for a good portion of the film, I think it is safe to say she will be in the outfit for at least as long as Harvey Dent was Two Face in the last movie. Or there are gonna be a lot of pissed off fanboys who are denied their Anne Hathaway as Catwoman masturbatory materials.

Still yet to be cast is the second female lead, recently rumored to be either Talia Al Ghul or reporter Vicki Vale. While I would greatly prefer Talia, that character of Catwoman already fills the slot of deadly enemy/love interest, so she is probably not it. That leaves Vicki Vale, the Batman comics wanna be Lois Lane who is usually as interesting as dry toast. Although a well written version of Vicki Vale could salvage that character. If anyone can do it, it will be Christopher Nolan and David Goyer.

And lastly Tom Hardy, long speculated to be Dr. Hugo Strange (and before that, the Riddler) is officially announced as playing Bane, the South American muscle man who back in the 90’s broke Batman’s back. Outta left field much?? Only ever played in live action once before in the dreadful Batman and Robin, this will hopefully be the character’s big screen redemption. And for those of you who don’t think Tom Hardy is buff enough to play Bane, I suggest you rent Bronson. That’ll change your mind right quick.

Flashpoint: DC’s Answer to X-Men: Age of Apocalypse?

 Over in Comic Book land, DC’s big crossover event for 2011 is going to be called Flashpoint, and while it will involve the whole DCU, it will center around the Flash much as Blackest Night revolved mainly around Green Lantern. All we know from teasers that DC has provided is that Flashpoint deals with alternate timelines (one where Wonder Woman and Aquaman enter into a political marriage, another where Bruce Wayne runs a series of casinos, another where Kal-El’s ship never crashed, etc) Flashpoint officially starts in May.

What DC has not officially announced is that they are going to be taking a cue from 90’s Marvel, back when they “cancelled” all their X-Men titles and replaced them with alternate timeline books like Amazing X-Men, Weapon X, X-Calibre, etc. The whole event lasted for months and was called The Age of Apocalypse. The crossover stunt was a huge hit that launcehd several characters for Marvel; DC is no doubt hoping to have the same kind of luck here.

The story began hitting the net this week via Bleeding Cool about DC planning a similar event, but while Age of Apocalypse only affected the X-Men books, Flashpoint will “cancel” ALL the mainstream DCU titles and replace them with alternate timeline books. While the creative teams are yet to be announced, artist George Perez has already said he is working on a book called “The Secret Seven” While many assume that will be an alternate timeline version of Secret Six…it could just as easily be an alternate version of the original JLA. All should be known next month when DC reveals their May comic book previews.

Johnny Depp Is Disney’s Bitch. Or Is That The Other Way Around??

Ever since Johnny Depp turned the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and Alice in Wonderland into a cash cows for Disney Studios, he has become their go to guy. Not only is he already scheduled to play Tonto for Disney’s Lone Ranger movie, but he is now being offered the part of the Wizard in Disney’s prequel to The Wizard of Oz called Oz , The Great and Powerful. Originally offered to Robert Downey Jr, between Sherlock Holmes 2 and The Avengers, it appears he just couldn’t find the time. Enter Johnny Depp, who will be adding yet another Disney flick to his schedule. And this is in addition to a potential Pirates 5 and 6. Hopefully, Johnny will make things more interesting than The Tourist in his non Disney down time. Although I gotta wonder if anyone wants to see him play a regular person anymore.

 

Plenty of news and rumors in this post holiday season for all my fellow geeks out there…including our first look at the new Spidey. But first, the bad news…

No Wonder Woman TV Series For You

It ain’t easy bein’ an amazon princess and trying to make it in Hollywood; earlier this week it was reported that all five major networks had passed on David E. Kelley’s proposal for a new Wonder Woman TV series for the Fall 2011 season. The most likely candidate for the show, the CW, said the show was “too expensive”, and ABC’s ties to Disney, and therefore Marvel, made them a no go for them as well (not to mention that they are making a new Charlie’s Angels show, so one “hot chicks kick ass show” is enough for them I imagine). NBC, CBS and Fox all said “no thanks” too.  It seems Diana can’t catch a break in film or on television.

What many don’t know is that this is not the first failed attempt to bring Wonder Woman back to the small screen. As far back as 1990, Warners was pitching a return to television for Diana Prince, then a mere ten years since her Lynda Carter glory days. They even asked artist/writer George Perez (who is to Wonder Woman what Frank Miller is to Batman) to be a consultant on the show.  But he was quoted as saying his meeting with the suits was frustrating; they wanted the name Wonder Woman, but little else about the character. “they didn’t want to use the Gods, they didn’t want to use Paradise Island. They seem to be afraid of fantasy. Then why pick Wonder Woman? Why are they afraid to take chances?” twenty years later, not much has changed in that regard, sadly.

Oh well…this week it was announced that there would be a new line of Wonder Woman cosmetics by Mac.

Yay?

Our First Look At Spidey (And Cap!)

This week brought geeks everywhere their first partial view of Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man (sans mask) for the 2012 reboot directed by Marc Webb.  The suit looks more stylized, and is even further from the comics than the Sam Raimi one, although it appears at least one aspect from the original comics that the Raimi movies ignored, the classic web cartridge shooters, might in fact be back.  Certainly Andrew Garfield has that Peter Parker “Why does God hate me?” look down pat in this pic.

I can only hope this new proposed trilogy of movies doesn’t rehash too much stuff from the Sam Raimi directed flicks that are not yet even a decade old. I don’t wanna see a MJ/Peter/Harry Osborn love triangle, or Dock Ock and Sandman and Venom (I could live with a better Green Goblin though…as long as they slowly work up to him). The Raimi flicks pretty much covered the first ten years or so of Stan Lee Spidey stories in the broad strokes; hopefully we’ll see some characters that didn’t make the cut the first time around. Oh…and I really hope this movie isn’t called something like Spider-Man: Reborn or Spider-Man: The Claws of the Lizard or some shit. How about this for a title: The Amazing Spider-Man.  Just puttin’ it out into the universe and hoping someone is listening…

Also shown this week (although not in pretty high res) was the most complete shot of Chris Evans as Captain America that we’ve seen so far, and I think he looks pretty good. Hopefully we won’t have to wait forever to finally see a trailer for this flick.

Christian Bale Screen Tests With A Ton Of Potential Bat Chicks

Apparently, the search is now hot n heavy for two female leads for The Dark Knight Rises. One character is all but confirmed to be Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ras al Ghul and, in the comics, the mother of Bruce’s son Damian. The other appears to be….Vicki Vale?? Ok…kinda left field there. One thing is for sure…a lot of major and not so major actresses have been screen testing against Christian Bale for the parts. The shortlist includes Eva Green, Naomi Watts, Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Kate Mara, Charlotte Riley, Gemma Arterton, and probably a dozen or so more whose names have not leaked yet.

While I am all for Talia making her big screen debut, I am less excited for Vicki Vale. Essentially created in the early 50’s (along with the original Batwoman) as a wanna be Lois Lane love interest for Batman (and to dispel all those nasty rumors that he and the Boy Wonder were gettin’ it on), after the early 60’s she more or less disappeared, except for a few scattered appearances. If not for her role in the Tim Burton 1989 Batman movie played by Kim Basinger, few would even know who she is today. So here is hoping Vicki is nothing more than a rumor and we get Selina Kyle instead. 

Bond 23 Finally A Go

Finally, after months of speculation, MGM announced this week that Daniel Craig would return for his third, and likely final, turn as James Bond for the 23^rd 007 movie on November 9^th, 2012. (Remember when Sean Connery and Roger Moore both played Bond seven times each? Now we’re lucky to get three turns from an actor as any one character…tops). American Beauty and Road to Perdition director Sam Mendes is still going to direct, as was reported a few years ago when this flick was originally announced. The film is going to be a part of a year long celebration for the 50th anniversary of Dr. No and the Bond franchise, which will see the release of the remaining Bond films to Blu Ray as well.  

Anyone wanna bet the new movie had the word Gold somewhere in the title? Goldfinger, Man with the Golden Gun, Goldeneye…007 might as well be a hip hop artist, he’s got such a thing for gold. And 2012 is the golden anniversary of the series after all. Don’t be surprised when they announce Goldenshower or Golddigger or some shit like that. Just sayin’…

Wicked Mini Series Comes To ABC

Nearly ten years before it was a Broadway smash, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West was first imagined as an amazing novel by author Gregory Maguire. While the musical got the basic core of the story right, there were many, many elements that had to be left out, many of them political and some even sexual. Now ABC Television, along with producer Selma Hayek, is bringing the non singing, non dancing, slightly more adult version of Elpheba, the “Wicked” Witch of the West, to the small screen as a lavish 8 hour mini series.  It has been over a decade, if not more, since any network tackled what was once a network TV staple: the Epic Mini Series Event.  While cable still does fairly epic mini series like The Pacific, the epic mini series hasn’t really been seen on network TV since the early 90’s.  The writer for this new mini series is Erik Jendresen, who was partially responsible for the acclaimed cable mini series Band of Brothers, so at least so far, this show is in good hands.

Welcome to the first Week in Geek of 2011. This is going to be THE geek movie year to end all geek movie years…and that means lots o’ news and gossip comin’ from Hollywood too. Having said that, our first item this year isn’t exactly geeky news per se, but man….it could be explosive. Like a volcano even. Points if you get my stupid reference there….

Battlefield Earth Ain’t Got Nuthin’ On The Shitstorm That Awaits Director Paul Haggis 

Paul Haggis, the acclaimed screenwriter of such films as Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, and Million Dollar Baby, as well as director of Oscar Winner Crash, is about to blow the lid off the Church of Scientology in a tell all book set to come out sometime this summer called The Heretic of Hollywood: Paul Haggis vs. The Church of Scientology. And if anyone would know about the inner workings of those sworn enemies of Xenu, Intergalactic despot, it would be Mr. Haggis. A member of the church for over 35 years, Haggis very publicly quit after certain statements were made by the San Diego branch of the Church of Scientology in support of  California’s Prop 8. Haggis wrote to the church officials and requested that they denounce these statements; when they remained silent, Haggis responded that “Silence is consent… I refuse to consent.”

Haggis also went on to talk about other issues he has with Scientology, including its policy of disconnection, where one is told to sever all ties with friends or family who actively question Church policy. Also getting under Haggis’ skin was the church smearing of ex-members through the leaking of their personal details.  For example, allegedly, there have been stories for years that prominent Scientologist John Travolta has wanted to leave the church for quite a long time (among the reasons for his issues with them has been their belief that certain mental afflictions simply do not exist…a bitter pill to swallow for someone with an autistic child like Travolta had) But the church was rumored to threaten to leak the details of Travolta’s extra marital activities with certain hung ethnic dudes in LA bathhouses so as to get him to never leave and cause a PR embarrassment (again allegedly. I know how litigous you Scientologists are!)  Sadly, Carrie Fisher recently went ahead and outed him anyways in a recent interview. That Princess Leia always had a mouth on her.

 In any event, this book is no doubt going to cause some serious damage to the Church of Scientology’s already horrible questionable repulation. Others have done this in the past, only to be stalked and hounded by the church, but to have one of their much valued celebrities do so in such a public manner has just got to have L. Ron Hubbard spinning in his grave.

 Elijah Wood To Return To Middle Earth Too??

 

 Aside from the returning faces from Lord of the Rings like Ian McKellen, Cate Blanchett, Andy Serkis and Orlando Bloom, it now looks like even Elijah Wood might be returning as well as our beloved Ring-bearer Frodo Baggins. This addition really has Tolkien fans heads spinning, as the character of Frodo Baggins should not even be born at the time of The Hobbit. I don’t think that big a change is coming to the original narrative though…Here is my two cents on what a Hobbit movie with Frodo could look like:

 I could easily see the structure of these new Hobbit films as being told in flashback from Bilbo to Frodo, maybe on their long trip to the Undying Lands as seen on (one of the zillion) endings to Return of the King.  After all, these movies are coming out after Peter Jackson’s trilogy has been ingrained in everyone’s mind, regardless of what the order was for their publication history, and there isn’t anything wrong with the movies trying to reflect that fact.

 

 No Metropolis/Gotham Connection Coming Any Time Soon 

 In a revelation that shouldn’t really shock anyone, given Christopher Nolan’s previous statements, The Dark Knight Rises and Superman: The Man of Steel producer Charles Roven has recently nixed the notions that we would see the start of a shared cinematic DC Comics universe like what Marvel Studios has been doing. In an interview with Shock Till You Drop, this is what Roven had to say on the subject of of seeing a Superman/Batman crossover of any kind in either film: 

 No. That may be in somebody’s mind but right now the Batman lives in his world and the Superman lives in his world. Those stories are those stories and we haven’t thought beyond each individual picture.

  

 Of course, just because there are no direct references to each other’s worlds in these upcoming movies doesn’t mean that that can’t change in the future. It just isn’t going to be happening anytime soon or with anything Nolan has a hand in.

  Blomkamp’s District 9 Follow Up Starts To Come Together 

After an amazing debut feature film with District 9, people have been wondering what Neill Blomkamp’s next movie is going to be, and just who is going to be in it. We’ve had a title for a while now-Elysium-and the confirmation that it is Sci-fi and does not take place on Earth. And now we have our first casting announcements; Aside from returning D9 star Sharlto Copley, we have Hollywood royalty Jodie Foster joining the cast this week, as well as Matt Damon.  Hopefully, this movie does not suffer the the sophomore slump curse that happens to so many directors. But getting these two actors is a good sign for sure.

 

 

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<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>Welcome to the last Week in Geek of 2010. While the Holiday season is slow with news coming out of the Hollywood geek machine, there are a few little nuggets of info that come out during the last few weeks of the year….starting with some news on what is sure to be the biggest gamble on a genre property since the <em>Lord of the Rings</em> began shooting a decade ago….</span></p>
<h2><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong>The Dark Tower Casting Games Begin</strong></span></h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong><img style=”vertical-align: baseline;” src=”http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g310/lestat74/DarkTower.jpg” alt=”” width=”505″ height=”253″ /><br /></strong></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>So who will play the role of the gunslinger Roland in Ron Howard’s epic upcoming movie and television project, the adaptation of Stephen King’s <em>Dark Tower</em> series? According to the New York Post (not always the best source of info, I admit) the two frontrunners are Javier Bardem and Viggo Mortensen. Now, while both of those names are good choices, remember…this is set to not only be a movie trilogy, but <em>also</em> a tv series set between the films with much of the same cast. Can Ron Howard and Stephen King be a big enough deal to get the likes of Oscar bait actors like Bardem and Mortesen to do tv? This is such a different and groundbreaking project in both size and scope, my gut tells me that any A lister would be happy to jump on board, even if it means “slumming it” on tv. </span></p>
<h2><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong>Avengers Movie On Rumor Overload&nbsp;</strong></span></h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong><img style=”vertical-align: baseline;” src=”http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g310/lestat74/Avengers.jpg” alt=”” width=”486″ height=”186″ /></strong></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong> <!–StartFragment–> </strong></span></p>
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<p><strong><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 21.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;”>&nbsp;</span></strong></p>
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<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 21.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><span style=”font-weight: normal;”>This past holiday week was swirling with rumors regarding Marvel&rsquo;s upcoming Avengers movie it seemed. First was the (now debunked) rumor coming out of a local New Mexico newspaper that the plot of the Avengers would have the team caught up in a war between classic Marvel Comics alien races, the Kree and Skrull. Sadly, as cool as this sounds, a Marvel Studios rep quickly chimed in to call bullshit to this particular story. Then, Disney channel actress Demi Lovato (yeah, I never heard of her either) was said to have snagged a role for the upcoming movie. And while that was also debunked as just a rumor&hellip;.what does appear to be true is that there is another female lead character in the Avengers that actresses are auditioning for aside from Scarlet Johansson&rsquo;s Black Widow.</span></span><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>&nbsp;</span></p>
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<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: x-large;”><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 39px;”> <!–StartFragment–> </span></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 21.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>This makes perfect sense of course; writer/director Joss Whedon is a well known feminist after all. Two of his most known television projects, <span style=”mso-bidi-font-style: italic;”>Buffy</span> and <span style=”mso-bidi-font-style: italic;”>Dollhouse</span>, were female driven, and even the cast of <span style=”mso-bidi-font-style: italic;”>Firefly</span> was almost half women. Joss Whedon is just not the type to have a token &ldquo;hot chick&rdquo; and be done with it. Just not his style.</span><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>&nbsp;</span></p>
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<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>Which of course begs the question: who would this rumored female character be? The most obvious choice is Janet Van Dyne, AKA The Wasp. She was a founding member in the comics after all, and with Ant Man already confirmed as being a no show, she fills that slot nicely. Other choices are Ms. Marvel/Carol Danvers (it would be Whedon- like to have a woman on the team close to match the strength level of the boys), S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Maria Hill (although two non powered super agent characters in one movie is redundant probably) and maybe even Spider-Woman? <span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp;Ok, that one is d</span>oubtful. The only other obvious female Avenger would be the Scarlet Witch, but I am pretty sure her rights are locked up at Fox with the X-Men franchise. That leaves choice #1, The Wasp, as the most likely suspect, but then Marvel could be waiting to throw us all a curveball and be gearing up to announce the casting for Mantis or Jocasta.</span></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><img style=”vertical-align: baseline;” src=”http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g310/lestat74/AvengerChicks.jpg” alt=”” width=”506″ height=”299″ /><br /></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”>Oh, and if you’re wondering who the Avengers related cameo is going to be in the big screen version of Thor? Keep your eyes peeled for Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye (another rumor… but one we actually like the chances of).</span></p>
<h2><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><strong>From Marvel Movies to Marvel Games</strong></span></h2>
<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: x-large;”><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”> </span><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”><!–StartFragment–></span><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”> </span> </span></p>
<p style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: x-large;”><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 24px;”> <!–StartFragment–> </span></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 21.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;”>You&rsquo;ll notice I don&rsquo;t report gaming rumors on this here column, and pretty much stick to movies, television and the occasional comic book news. That is because I&rsquo;m simply not a gamer and know jack shit about video games. However, the comic geek part of me could not help but get his interest piqued when I heard the rumor that just last week, Marvel filed a trademark for &ldquo;Secret Wars&rdquo; that covers stuff like software and video-games, among various other things. This is leading many to believe that “Secret Wars” is Marvel’s next big video game push for 2011.</span></p>
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<p><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”> </span><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”><!–EndFragment–></span><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”> </span><span style=”font-size: 21px; line-height: 33px;”> </span></p>
<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”>For those of you out there who don&rsquo;t remember or were not alive yet, <em>Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars</em> was a 1984-85 Mini Series that had a cosmic character called &ldquo;The Beyonder&rdquo;&nbsp;gather all of Marvel&rsquo;s A List heroes and villains and pitted them in a so called “Secret War” on a distant planet (it is pretty amazing how The Beyonder knew just which Earth heroes had their own comics or were fanboy favorites. Why didn&rsquo;t Captain Britain qualify? D-Man?).&nbsp; Secret Wars was a&nbsp;pretty simple (and still cool) concept that has video game written all over it.&nbsp; I hope if this does become a game, that the characters will be in their retro 1985 best&hellip;meaning a smart Banner brained Hulk, Storm with a mowhawk,&nbsp; and an Avengers with that African American female version of Captain Marvel who no one cares about today. She deserves her comeback moment too, right?</span></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 21.0pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;”><img style=”vertical-align: baseline;” src=”http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g310/lestat74/SecretWars.jpg” alt=”” width=”504″ height=”462″ /><br /></span></p>
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<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”>Of course&hellip;this could all be more than just a video game. While Disney can&rsquo;t make a live action film starring the likes the Spider-Man, the FF, or the X-Men, the animated film rights are a whole other story. Now imagine a Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars movie from Pixar. Food for thought kids. Disney didn’t pay $4 Billion dollars for nuthin’.</span></p>
<h2><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”><strong>I Know You Are, But What Am I….</strong><em><strong>Infinity</strong></em><strong>.</strong></span></h2>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”><strong><img style=”vertical-align: baseline;” src=”http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g310/lestat74/PWHerman.jpg” alt=”” width=”505″ height=”253″ /><br /></strong></span></p>
<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”>Pee Wee Herman made his television debut way back on HBO in 1981 with <em>The Pee Wee Herman Show</em>, an adult innuendo filled version of his live stage act. The success of this special of course led to <em>Pee Wee&rsquo;s Big Adventure</em>, <span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp;</span>five seasons of <em>Pee-Wee&rsquo;s Playhouse</em>, and a merchandising bonanza .<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp; </span>Of course, a certain 1991 “incident” would make Pee Wee go away for nearly 18 years.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp; </span>But starting last year in LA, Paul Rubens brought Pee Wee back as if he had never left, with a restaged and revised version of the original Pee Wee Herman Show, and then took the show to Broadway. </span></p>
<p><span style=”font-family: ‘Times New Roman’; font-size: 17.5px; line-height: 24px;”>Well, this week HBO announced that they will shoot an all new special immediately following the show&rsquo;s conclusion on Broadway on January 2^nd, with the special to air sometime in 2011. Even though I was one of the lucky few who caught<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>&nbsp; </span>the show in its pre-Broadway run in Los Angeles, I am thrilled that everyone who missed it will have the chance to see this now. Alongside Elvira – Mistress of the Dark, 2010 brought Pee Wee back as if he had not aged a day since he went away. There is something heartwarming about my childhood icons of kitsch culture frozen in time the way they are, still doin’ their thing like it’s &nbsp;still 1984.</span></p>
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I’m a total sucker for vampires. Twilight hasn’t totally killed that for me yet. But I will admit…I had to be dragged into viewing The Vampire Diaries pretty much kicking and screaming. When it premiered last year, it reeked of the CW network trying to cash in on the success of the insanely popular Twilight franchise. I am pretty sure I even referred to it as “the K-Mart Twilight” last year on this very site. But then, I started hearing good things about it, both from trusted online sources as well as people I knew in real life. Could this cheesy looking show actually be…good? I decided to find out. In secret, without telling anyone I knew lest they blurt it out in public, I watched the show on DVD via the recently released Complete First Season box set. And while I can’t sit here and say that The Vampire Diaries is original, or even good, I can say I eventually had a fun time watching it.

For those who don’t know, the show is about Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) a recently orphaned teenager living with her aunt and younger brother. She meets a mysterious and ridiculously good looking boy in class named Stephan, who of course turns out is a vampire. (Unlike Twilight, the only reason Stephan is in high school is to keep an eye on Elena, not to repeat Chemistry 101 for eternity. It is still a stupid reason, but still less stupid than Twilight’s reason) But Stephan also has a vampire older brother named Damon, played by Lost alumni Ian Somerhalder, who is less goody two shoes than Stephan and has his own reasons for coming to town. And pretty soon, a love triangle begins. Ok sure, there are a million other little plot twists and what not, but essentially that is what this show is really all about in a nutshell: two hot supermodel vamps wanna bone a chick in high school.

Vampire Diaries is almost refreshingly free of any originality. I actually say that without any sarcasm at all. While other modern vampire material have all tried to play with the fertile metaphor that bloodsucker stories can provide (on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it was “high school is hell”, on True Blood there is the whole civil rights metaphor, Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles have too many metaphors at play so let’s not even get started) VD isn’t trying to be clever. They aren’t attempting to bring anything new to the table, they are content just being a vampire soap opera. This show is also almost totally irony free… While the vampire infested small towns of Buffy and True Blood have ironic names like “Sunnydale” or “Bon Temps” (French for “good times” didn’t ya know) on VD the vamp infested town is  the oh –so- on- the- nose named “Mystic Falls”. More than anything else, VD reminds me of 60’s soap opera Dark Shadows; not a show remembered fondly for great writing, acting, or originality, yet is fondly remembered anyway. It just had that certain something that made people fall for it, and VD has that quality too.

Now, If I keep bringing up other vampire shows or movies, it’s because it is incredibly  difficult to talk about this series without bringing up other better, vampire shows and movies, because VD gleefully rips off from just about every source it can. Brooding, attractive vampire boy in high school like the Twilight series? Check. Two vampires, one bad and one not as bad, who fall for the same pretty human girl, like on Buffy and True Blood? Check. A vampire who falls for a modern girl who is the spitting image of a long dead love, like Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula or Fright Night? Check. And the list of riffs on other similar material goes on and on.

The plot on VD pretty much consists of revelation after revelation concerning familial ties…we are constantly finding out that a dead relative isn’t really dead, or someone was actually adopted, or someone’s mom got turned into a vampire back in the day, etc. Take away the vampire element, and this show is really just Days of Our Lives or General Hospital. And yet, just like those shows, it insidiously becomes very addictive, and pretty soon you are hooked despite your own better judgement.

Even as a cheesy soap though, this show takes time to find itself. The first disc on the set, which consists of the first five episodes, is nearly unbearable to watch. The first few episodes are much more a typical CW teen drama, with very small doses of vampire action. But at the start of the second disc, revelations are made and this show starts to pick up and before you know it, you’re hooked. Not because you love the characters, because they are all as bland and generic as dry toast. Elana isn’t as awful and selfish as Bella from Twilight, but she also lacks any of the spunk or personality (not to mention special powers of her own) of Sookie Stackhouse or Buffy Summers. Not a feminist role model, but not a giant step back for the female gender either. She is just kind of there.  Good boy vamp Stephan only gets interesting when he falls off the wagon and gets addicted to human blood again about half way through the season, but like most television treatments of addiction, it usually only lasts an episode, maybe two max.  Stephan goes back to his boring self pretty quickly. But I still kept watching, simply because I  just wanna know what the hell happens next. And isn’t that the mark of a good soap? To be entertaining enough just so you keep watching?

There is one truly great thing on this show though: Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore. The evil and unrepentant (but just nice enough to be sexy) vampire who steals every scene he’s in. It feels sometimes like all the writers on this show realize the only character with any personality on this show is Damon, so they pour all their energy into writing him, and just let some writers from the Lifetime network handle everything and everyone else. Somerhalder has a blast playing  an asshole that you can’t help to love, and I don’t think without him I would have kept watching.

Now, while Season One can be quite a bit of a slog to get through at times, what I’ve seen so far of Season Two is a pretty big improvement. The show is still derivative as hell, and sometimes doesn’t even make any sense, but is far more of a fun, silly supernatural romp than the first season show I reviewed here. But if you are the kind of person who goes for this kind of guilty pleasure, then by all means check out the DVD set. Just grin and bear it until the show gets fun, because it eventually pays off.

 

 

Jay And Silent Bob Make A Porno (Kinda)

In the last few years we’ve been inundated with porn versions of everything from Avatar to Star Trek to the Brady Bunch, to most recently even The Justice League of America. All of course under the guise and protection of parody.  But pretty soon, geeks everywhere will be able to see XXX rated versions of beloved geek icons Jay and Silent Bob officially sanctioned by creator Kevin Smith himself….albeit gay bear porn. (“bear” as in hairy, larger gay guy, not beastiality, for those of you who don’t know better) I imagine about 90% of you got a little less excited right about now.  

Among Kevin Smith’s podcast network of shows is Blow Hard, audio home to Kevin Smith’s good friend and fellow film maker, Malcolm Ingram.  The openly gay Ingram has made such Smith produced movies like Drawing Flies and Small Town Gay Bar. Well, now Smith has persuaded Ingram into directing porn, all male bear porn to be exact. And for his first feature, it looks like the basis will be gay versions of View Askew mascots Jay and Silent Bob, as they fuck their way through equally queer versions of Bill and Ted, Cheech and Chong, and God knows who or what else.  All of this was revealed on this week’s episode of Blow Hard, and Kevin has set a date for this time next year for the premiere of Ingram’s “Gay and Silent Nob” movie. Kevin Smith said that he and Jason Mewes would even have a non sexual cameo (and thank God it is a non sex cameo, I’m not sure I can handle a naked Smith these days) in the movie, although he said that if this movie had been made during Jason Mewe’s heroin addiction years, he would have likely starred in the movie himself just to get money for drugs. Oh, If only.

 Miramax Prepares To Milk Library, Lose Dignity

So in an effort to capitalize on the library of Miramax films they just paid 700 million dollars for, the new owners of Miramax Films have contacted the Wesinstein Brothers, founders and presidents of Miramax films until former owner Disney pushed them out, to help produce and distribute a slew of sequels to many of their most famous films.  Some of the sequels announced –Bridget Jones, Bad Santa, From Dusk Till Dawn, Amityville Horror, Clerks III– make a certain amount of sense. But also announced were sequels for movies like Copland, Swingers, and even Shakespeare in Love.  I can’t even begin to fathom how a sequel to that would work, and I really don’t think that Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn are very interested in Swingers 2: The Alcohol Bloated Face Years at this point in their careers.  Well, ok… maybe Vince Vaughn is game.

On the plus side however, the new owners of Miramax have enlisted the help of the Weinstein Company to help get their vast catalogue of films out there on Blu Ray and prepped for digital download, and this means that a lot of movies we geeks have been waiting for (among them Pulp Fiction, The Crow, and mostly the long awaited Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair) will finally be out in high definition.  And that is enough to make this all good news for me.

 Yet Another Oz “Re-Imagining”

Another week, another Oz project in development.  Aside from Sam Raimi’s Wizard centric prequel Oz, The Great and Powerful,  an animated version from Excalibur director John Boorman, Drew Barrymore’s Surrender Dorothy, and of course, the inevitable big screen version of Wicked, we now have yet another movie to throw into the mix. This time, it is to be a stop motion film called Oz Wars, directed by the guy who co-directed Corpse Bride. (the one who isn’t Tim Burton) The script is said to be “a transformation of the Oz narrative, with Dorothy caught up in a whirlwind of warrior witches, black magic, martial arts and monsters against a contemporary backdrop.”  Supposedly, this take on Oz is  “dark, slick, sexy and dangerous.”  Ugh. So in other words, expect a lot of Hot Topic merchandise. I don’t care how bad this is though, I would rather this get made than a shot for shot remake of the 1939 classic that was rumored a few weeks back.

What Would Kal-El Do? (Answer: Not This)

Superman would be ashamed of his best buddy Pete Ross right about now. Sam Jones III, who played Clark Kent’s best friend Pete on the first three seasons of Smallville, pleaded guilty in Los Angeles federal court to conspiracy to sell more than 10,000 oxycodone pills. Oops.

Jones, 27, was busted at his Canoga Park, California home last year for allegedly trying to unload some hillbilly heroin. This week he pleaded guilty as a co-conspirator in the drug ring, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office. Jones was arrested after it was determined he was the “Hollywood connection” involved in the ring’s illegal purchasing and distributing of the drugs. He now faces up to 20 years behind bars when he is sentenced in June. On the plus side, when he gets out of jail he is sure to get a reality show on A&E.

Winona Rips On Mel

I know that I pick on Mel Gibson a lot here in this column, but let’s face it… the fucker makes it so easy. And this week I’m joined in picking on him by non other than Ms.Winona Ryder. While doing press for her small (but great) role in The Black Swan, Winona spoke to GQ Magazine about a run in with a drunk Mel circa 1995:

 “I remember, like, 15 years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And he was really drunk. I was with my friend, who’s gay. He made a really horrible gay joke. And somehow it came up that I was Jewish. He said something about ‘oven dodgers,’ but I didn’t get it. I’d never heard that before. It was just this weird, weird moment. I was like, ‘He’s anti-Semitic and he’s homophobic.’ No one believed me!”

 

 Well, I believe you Winona. I also totally believe you “forgot” to pay for all that clothes at Saks 5th Ave. that day. I got yo back gurl.

 

 

 

 

Alien Rumors Spread, Are Just As Quickly Debunked. 

There was a small flurry of rumors hitting the internet this week about Ridley Scott’s upcoming prequel to Alien, and no sooner did they hit, than within 24 hours a Fox rep went and debunked just about all of them. For the record, here is what was rumored: That there would be not one, but two back to back filmed prequels (apparently false) that the movie had been pushed back from 2012 to 2013 (again, false) and that the movie would be called “Paradise” (false…well, it might be a cover name, kinda like Blue Harvest was for Return of the Jedi. But that is it). Apparently, there is only going to be ONE Alien prequel, not two. Well, at least not yet. The movie is still scheduled to come out in 2012, and there is no way that Fox isn’t going to have the word “Alien” in the title somewhere. Still rumored for the lead, and not debunked so far, are actresses Olivia Wilde and Noomi Rapace. No doubt the rest of 2010 going into 2011 is going to be filled with Alien rumors yet to come. 

Elves Return To Middle Earth…But Where Is Elrond??

It was announced this week that both Cate Blanchett and Orlando Bloom are set to return to Middle Earth for Peter Jackson’s two films based on The Hobbit.  What is interesting is that neither  of their respective characters, Galadriel or Legolas, are actually in the original novel, which makes one wonder just how different this version of The Hobbit is going to be from Tolkien’s.  A character that WAS in both the original book and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy was Elrond, played in the movies by Hugo Weaving, but interestingly his name has yet to be announced for the movie officially. Are they switching him out for other elves? I imagine we will find out soon one way or the other, as shooting begins in early 2011.

Pirates, Pirates and More Pirates

Speaking of back to back sequels, it appears that the plan is for Pirates of the Caribbean parts 5-6 to take the route of Pirates 2 and 3, and shoot back to back. While I obviously have not seen Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides yet, it seems from everything I’ve read that this fourth installment is meant to be a clean slate after the overly long and bloated Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End.  Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly are not coming back, and this is meant to be merely another adventure for Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow, without much reference to the other movies. And I think that is a great idea.

I personally loved the original Pirates flick; It was such a surprise how good it was, considering it was based on a theme park ride of all things (albeit and awesome, classic theme park ride). But the following installments went the route of The Matrix sequels; the filmmakers and the studio made bloated, convoluted back to back sequels where they tried to pull off  this whole “we planned a trilogy the whole time!” bullshit that was very clearly not the case.  They were so obviously trying to do a riff on The Empire Stikes Back/Return of the Jedi structure, when instead they should have been ripping off the structure of Lucas’ other iconic trilogy: Indiana Jones. Each film should have been a separate adventure of Jack Sparrow, since he was the only character anyone really loved from the original (ok, maybe Barbossa too. And the monkey.) With Part 4, it seemed they realized this fact, so why go back now Disney? One movie at a time! Is that too much to ask?

(Ed. Note: They actually did successfully rip off a Lucas property in the end… The Monkey Island games! And even though THEY can say different… it’s pretty clearly not the case. Maybe there’ll be a ton of Grim Fandango in Stranger Tides.)

The Super Sequel That Could Have Been

With all this talk of sequels, how about news on a sequel that never happened? It seems this week that the outline for Bryan Singer’s proposed sequel to Superman Returns leaked online over at IESB.net, and it sounded kinda…epic? Here is the basic quickie plot synopsis:

The Kryptonite Island that Superman floated into space in the previous movie becomes a new satellite, dubbed New Krypton. This new planet attracts what appears to be another Kryptonian survivor, who comes to Earth and is celebrated as a new hero.  He introduces advanced alien technology to humans way before they are ready, which pisses off Kal-El. This of course, makes humanity annoyed at Superman for holding back on us all this time. Eventually, Superman discovers that the new Kryptonian is actually an Artificial Intelligence who survived Krypton’s destruction….yup, you guessed it: Brainiac.  We also learn that Brainiac is responsible for Krypton’s getting all blowed up as well.  He was going to download all the information on Earth, then destroy it too (this is almost identical to the version of Brainiac from the Bruce Timm Superman animated series and Justice League series, in my opinion the coolest version of old Brainy). After a massive brawl, Brainy’s last body would have been destroyed and would need to download into the only other Kryptonian DNA it could find: Superman and Lois’ son Jason. It would artificially age him up, and a Brainiac possessed Super Kid and Clark would have battled it out, Father vs. Son (very Arthurian there, Singer). Eventually, Super Kid would die, although probably not by Superman’s hand… I see a last minute self sacrifice, or maybe his possessed body just burns out. 

I’m in the geek minority when it comes to Superman Returns; while I don’t think it was the right way to re-start the franchise, as a film I loved it. It seems history has painted SR as a big flop, when in truth it made $200 million (only $5 million less than the previous year’s Batman Begins) and got mostly good reviews from critics. (SR had a 76% Rotten Tomatoes score, Batman Begins an 84%…again, not a huge difference).Yet Nolan got a chance to continue his story, while Singer didn’t. In any event, this sounds like a fairly awesome movie, and in my opinion, it is a shame we never got to see it. Considering how much better X2 was to X-Men, I think we really missed out on something potentially cool. Let’s hope Zack Snyder does us one better with his Man of Steel flick. (Ed. Note: Superman Returns cost $270 million to Batman Begins $150 million. That $5 million difference is actually a $125 million difference! And that’s not counting the roughly $200 million in marketing promotion! No sequel for you!)

 

And So Begins Buffygate…

Last week it was announced that Warner Brothers had optioned the rights for the big screen reboot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from copyright holders Fran Kuzui and husband Kaz Kuzui. Instantly, geekdom went into fire and brimstone mode at the notion of a Buffy without the input of creator Joss Whedon. And rightly so, since Whedon is the reason anything and everything works about Buffy. Fran Kuzui had directed the original movie based on Whedon’s script, but then totally re-wrote the script which resulted in an unmemorable time killer, with the exception of Paul Reubens. But still, why bypass the man who created the character and instead go to some actress turned first time screenwriter?

Well, it turns out that the Kuzuis indeed went to Joss Whedon first, as far back as last year….and he turned them down flat. We can only speculate as to why, but then speculate is what I do here: 

So why DID Joss say no? Obviously, Whedon is not sick of Buffy or her world, as evidenced by his commitment to the Season 8 Comics from Dark Horse he has been overseeing for the past 3 1⁄2 years. (the longest tv season of all time). I’m sure if offered the chance to continue his story on screen, he would have taken it. However, while the Kuzuis (and now Warners) owns the film rights to Buffy, Twentieth Century Fox owns the rights to things developed just for the television series, like Angel, Spike, Willow, Xander, Giles, Sunnydale, the Hellmouth. Essentially, these are all the things that make Buffy Buffy. Without access to the things and characters he cares about the most, why would Whedon even want to go do a watered down version of Buffy? And his working relationship with the Kuzuis was so bad he walked off the set of the original movie, never to return. So go back at this stage, when you can direct The Avengers instead? So don’t blame Whedon, blame the creatively bankrupt Kuzuis for not knowing better than to leave this alone.

First Class Actor For X-Men

 X-Men First Class just made a hell of a good casting addition in the form of hiring veteran character actor Ray Wise.  Wise is known for his recent turn as Satan on the series Reaper, and is probably most famously known as Leland Palmer on the groundbreaking  television series Twin Peaks and its film prequel, Fire Walk With Me.  Not much is know about who Wise will play, aside from being a government higher up, but he sure has the forehead for Mr. Sinister, doesn’t he?

And In LESS Anticipated Marvel Project News….

So last week, after many, many delays, cast changes, and near cancellation of the whole project all together, Julie Taymor’s Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, a singin’, swingin’ extravaganza, debuted on Broadway to a critical thud.  Their previews were plagued with technical problems, and the show was stopped up to five times, prompting one audience member  to yell out “I don’t know about anybody else, but I feel like a guinea pig and I want my money back! We should all get refunds!”  Ouch. Not the kinda buzz you want on Broadway, or anywhere for that matter.

Geeks have had it in for this project since it was first announced last year, suggesting that  this is the worst thing to happen in geek history (although I can’t help but think some of this smacks of “don’t put my manly hero in a faggy medium”  but I’ll admit that could just be me projecting). On the surface, a musical based on a super hero is really not that ridiculous…Superheroes  have operatic lives, wear over the top costumes, and like to shout out into the night sky when no one is around, shaking their fists in the air. Sounds pretty much like a musical to me.  But this particular production had been plagued with delay after delay, loss of key cast members like Alan Cumming and Evan Rachel Wood, and (from what I hear) a kind of lame score by U2’s Bono and The Edge. Despite all the negative buzz though, or maybe even because of it, advance ticket sales have been pretty great for this show, meaning that like with his third movie outing, critics can’t put a dent in Spidey’s web. Still, my gut tells me this will go the way of another notorious and expansive Broadway adaptation of a beloved geek property….

 

 Walking Dead Writing Staff Told To Walk 

The biggest breakthrough hit of the Fall TV season by far has got to be AMC’s The Walking Dead. Getting the best ratings for an AMC series ever, the show has become a bonafide television event. So what better way to congratulate your writing staff for a job well done than to fire them all? That is what executive producer Frank Darabont has done upon news of his series’ pick up for a full 13 episode second season. Apparently, he wants to go totally the freelancer route for year two, meaning no writing staff at all. Apparently this is the custom of British television series, but a lot of people believe the Writer’s Guild of America isn’t going to go for all this limey crap. Prepare to watch this unfold in an ugly way once pre-production on the second seasons begins in earnest next year. 

 

LOTS o’ comic book movie news this week (what else is new?) but before we get to that, let’s take a trip down the yellow brick road for some truly horrible news, and just get that shit out the way first….

1939 Classic The Wizard of Oz To Be Remade???

In what seems to be the worst idea in the history of shitty ideas, Warner Brothers has decided to join in the newfound Wicked induced Oz mania by remaking The Wizard of Oz. (just by typing that, I threw up in my mouth a little) Now, don’t get me wrong…L.Frank Baum wrote something like thirteen books set in the Land of Oz, all ripe for the picking. And the original story could be done again too in different ways (there is plenty in the book the The Wonderful Wizard of Oz that wasn’t in the movie version)  However…what Warner Brothers wants to do is re do the original script and score for the 1939 classic (which they own outright)  This is freaking blashphemy. The Wizard of Oz is one of, if  not the most, iconic movie in Hollywood history. Even if you have never seen it, you can quote it. Everyone fucking knows it. I mean, I can’t imagine any studio having the balls to even attempt this, to me it would be like trying to remake the original Star Wars, or the Godfather, or Hitchcock’s Psycho (oh, wait a minute…..FUCK. never mind)  Originally Robert Zemekesis’ name was attached to this, but his people quickly put out a denial. Smart move Bob. I pray this is only a rumor, or I actively wish a fleet of winged monkeys on this movie and all those involved.

Post Nolan, Will Batman Return To Television?

So a rumor spinning out from ComicBookMovie.com this week is that Warner Brothers is thinking about the future of Batman after Christopher Nolan’s next (and likely last) installment of his Batman film series. And it seems, instead of another series of movies by yet another director, they are setting their Bat sights on to television. The rumor goes into great detail about who they want in the role (Karl Urban?) among other things…which lead me to believe this rumor is bullshit. There was just too much detail for a project this far off. But I think it is only bullshit for now. Hear me out…this could actually be a great idea, and the best option for Batman post Nolan and Bale.

It is very likely that no film director is going to match what Nolan has done on film with his two (so far) movies in terms of either acclaim or box office. It would be like the disappointment of Joel Schumacher all over again, but way worse, since Nolan’s movies are so much better than the Tim Burton ones.  The best move would be to continue the story in another medium. Of all the mainstream superheroes, Batman is the easiest to do on tv, simply due to the more realistic world he lives in.  In other words, It wouldn’t have to look like Smallville.  And Batman has the best toys of any superhero; the best villains, the best supporting cast, you name it. When you look at Batman’s comic book history –Dick Grayson as Robin, his evolution into Nightwing, Jason Todd taking over the Robin mantle, Todd’s death, Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon,  Knightfall,  The GCPD, Batwoman, etc. – you easily have anywhere from seven to ten seasons of television.  So while I don’t think this rumor is true yet…I hope it eventually becomes true. And I’ll bet someone at Warner Brothers is thinking about this right now, albeit only in passing for now…in between crack smoking sessions where they come up with bright ideas like remaking The Wizard of Oz that is.

The Search For Kal-El Begins; Brandon Routh Waits By The Phone.

Speaking on Chris Nolan’s Bat movies, remember he is also producing  the Zack Snyder directed Man of Steel reboot as well…and it appears that the casting search is on for who will play Kal-El this time. According to Deadline.com, the folks at Warners want an unknown or  a cheaper, less famous television actor who fits the part. Names that the suits keep circling are Ian Somerhalder from The Vampire Diaries and Lost (really? Maybe as Namor, but Superman?)  the 6’5 Armie Hammer, who played both the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network (and was almost Batman in George Miller’s JLA flick that died a merciful death a few years back)  and finally what seems to be the hands down best choice (In my personal opinion) Joe Manganiello from HBO’s True Blood. He’s 34, so he is definetly not too boyish but not too old, has a body like a comic book super hero, and has jet black hair and is freakin’ 6’5. Fans have been rooting for him online for awhile, and it seems someone at Warners has heard this rumor and thought it was a good idea, ‘cuz he seems to be on the shortlist. If he gets the role, it wouldn’t be the first time he starred in a comic book movie; Joe played Flash Thompson in the original Spider-Man movie back in 2002.

 Del Toro Hulks Out For ABC

Another week, another news item with Guillermo del Toro’s name attached to it. This time it looks like he will producing the new Incredible Hulk series for Marvel and ABC along with Battlestar Galactica co-producer David Eick.  What’s that?  That’s the sound of the geek community actually starting to get excited about this project. Unlike the last two movies, this version of the Hulk will be a combination of cgi, prosthetics, and puppetry. This would be aways away from debuting, at least until after Avengers comes out, so the earliest we will see this show is fall 2012. Maybe GDT will have made one of these movies he keeps talking about by then.

 

And Finally, X-Men Origins: Wolverine- 2 Gets A Title

It will simply be called The Wolverine. And I just would like to add that I called that shit a few weeks ago.

See you next week kiddies! 

Not One, But TWO Female Leads In The New Batman Movie? The Dark Knight Rises Indeed. 

So according to Deadline.com, Christopher Nolan has made a short list of six big name actresses for the part of not just the villain for The Dark Knight Rises, but for another unknown part as well.  Love triangle maybe? Who knows. But the actresses mentioned are Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, Blake Lively, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, and Keira Knightley. But the question on everyone’s mind is just who will the female villain be? 

Batman Begins had two villains (three, if you count mobster Carmine Falcone) and The Dark Knight had two…given this pattern, it is safe to assume that the recently announced Tom Hardy will play a male bad guy. We know he isn’t the Riddler, it is highly doubtful he is the Penguin, which means whatever villain he plays is going to be a C-Lister to the general  public. Which means Warner Brothers will want a name character for whoever  the female villain is.  And that really only leaves Catwoman.  Poison Ivy is somewhat well known, but her powers make her a little too sci fi for Nolan’s Bat –Verse. Then there’s Harley Quinn, but what good is she without her Mr. J? 

Catwoman is a character that needs brand redemption after the Halle Berry disaster, and as awesome as Michelle Pfieffer Catwoman was (not to mention Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt in the 60’s) none of them really played the comic book version of Selina Kyle, jewel thief without equal.  Of all the Batman villains, the current comic book version of Catwoman could work in a Nolan world with next to no alteration to her character at all, even down to her costume. But maybe Nolan and Co. will surprise us…Talia al Ghul maybe? 

 

The Rubik’s Cube To Become A Movie. Seriously. 

 In the latest news in just how creatively bankrupt Hollywood is these days, rumors are making the rounds that the latest brand name property to get the big screen treatment will be none other than 80’s icon of frustration and time wasting, the Rubik’s Cube.  This would not be the first time Hollywood has attempted to cash in on the cube; back in the 80’s heyday of the product, producers at ABC made a Saturday morning cartoon called Rubik the Amazing Cube, all about a little latino boy named Paco who finds a Rubik’s Cube, is able to assemble it in seconds (despite the fact that the damn things took hours if not days to do, but ok I’ll go with it) where it would then proceed to come alive and grant wishes or do magic and shit. 

 Freed by changes in the broadcast standards in the early 80’s, cartoons were now allowed to be nothing more than 30 minute ads for toys and stuff, leaving studio execs to snort coke and force narratives onto decidedly NON narrative product like Pac Man, The California Raisins and the Rubik’s Cube.  Those same execs, or ones very much like them, are now using the same formula for multi million dollar tentpole movies.  Yay.

Proof of 80’s Rampant Drug Use

I will say this though; if the movie is a live action remake of the hideous tv cartoon, I will pay to watch it out of morbid curiousity alone. Maybe they can reunite latino boy band Menudo to do the theme song for the movie like they did the show. What is former Menudo star Ricky Martin up to these days, besides coming out of the closet ten years after people stopped caring about him? 

 J. Michael Straczynski Ditches Superman and Wonder Woman Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

Well, that was fast, even by fickle comic book standards.  It was announced this week that after starting two highly publicized runs on two of DC Comic’s oldest and longest running monthly titles this past summer (Superman and Wonder Woman) writer J. Michael Straczynski was gonna cut and run on both titles mid story to focus on “non monthly work” from now on.  Part of this non monthly work is a sequel to his recently released Superman: Earth One graphic novel.

As much as it totally annoys me whenever a creator ditches a book mid story, I can kinda understand DC on this one. His monthly Superman “walks the Earth” story and his re-do of Wonder Woman’s origin and costume have been hit and miss, at best. Meanwhile, his recently released Superman: Earth One graphic novel is among his best work, is selling very well, and is no doubt making the folks at DC want a fast tracked sequel over anything else from him right now. And might I add,  that particular book should be THE template for the upcoming Superman movie reboot.  There is a positive review on the back cover of the book by Man of Steel screenwriter David Goyer, and I hope he loved it enough he feels free to rip it off word for word. Really, it is everything  you could want from and action packed Superman flick. Pick it up.

Magic Kingdom Gets An Unlikely Director

Oh hey, remember that movie version the Magic Kingdom theme parks that I mentioned Disney was developing a few weeks back? And how I said it was a long ways off? Guess it is less far off than they thought. It was announced this week that Disney had found a director, and it appears it will be none other than Iron Man’s Jon Favreau. It looks like this will be his next project after Iron Man 3, which puts this at around 2014 or so. Not much more is known about this project yet, but all I gotta say is if this movie is based on the Orlando park and not the original classic Disneyland, I’ll cut a bitch. Cali represent.

 The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made Maybe More Than Just A Title? 

The cast for Jason Segal’s upcoming The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made is certainly looking to be pretty damn great all right . Not only is the awesome Jane Lynch from Glee joining the cast, but so is Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Donald Glover, Danny Trejo (!),  Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family, John Krasinski from The Office, Ed Helms from The Hangover and freakin’ Lady Gaga (!!!).  This could be epic, or an epic disaster, but I really liked Jason Segal’s script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall so I’m leaning towards just epic right now. Here is the first pic for next year’s flick. So very glad these are classic Muppets, and not some CGI “reimagining”. Don’t laugh, you know someone suggested it over at Disney. 

The First New Wonder Woman TV Series Casting Rumor Emerges

Right now it seems the top contender for the part of Wonder Woman in the new television series being developed by David E. Kelley is said to be South African super model turned actress Tanit Phoenix.  Having recently crossed over from modeling to acting, she is starring in the upcoming Death Race 2 and the straight to DVD Lost Boys: The Thirst.  (we all gotta start somewhere, right?)

Apparently, the folks at Warner Bros (who produced Lost Boys and are behind the Wonder Woman show) are very keen on her for the part, and she is apparently the early front runner.  Although Hollywood is littered with “Model/Actresses”, just watching clips of her online I can totally see her playing the part… she has the Mediterranean looks (she has some ancestry tracing back to that region) a slight but not overpowering South African accent that suggests exoticness, and drop dead gorgeous beauty and a killer body. At 5’9, she may be a tad bit short to play Diana, but Lynda Carter was also 5’9, and if it was good enough for her, then it works for me. And at age 30, she is certainly a woman, and not a teenage girl. Now it remains to be seen if she can actually act.

But if in fact she can act, then Tanit Phoenix may have been born to play Wonder Woman. Her IMDB page reveals that her hobbies include skydiving, scuba diving, bungee-jumping, mountain biking, Muay Thai/kick boxing, and yoga. She is a Reiki Practitioner, and is studying Anthropology, Metaphysics, The Quantum Mind, Quantum Mechanics, the Science of Imagery, Hypnotherapy/Guided Meditation, Alternative Natural medicine, Organic farming and Self Sustainable living. She is very Active in promoting awareness about unknown global situations, has “an especially unique gift of understanding the behavior of animals and with her intuitive experience she is likened to an animal whisperer” And finally, her name, Tanit, means ‘Goddess of love’ in Phoenician. I mean, this chick might not just be playing Wonder Woman…she might actually be Wonder Woman.

Oh, and she fire dances. For reals.

Like A Magic Lasso, But Better

Bruce Wayne Comes Out (So To Speak)

Speaking of DC Comics characters, over in the actual comics this week, the recently returned from the dead/other timelines/whatever Bruce Wayne revealed to the world that he is the man behind Batman’s technology, and has been bankrolling him all these years in secret. This is a clever move on writer Grant Morrison’s part, as it deflects suspicion off Bruce actually being Batman, and yet now ties Bruce Wayne to Batman to the overall DCU at large, making for all kinds of interesting story possibilities.

It also makes Batman a lot like the 60’s thru 80’s Iron Man. Back then, everyone in the Marvel Universe though Iron Man and Tony Stark were two seperate people, and that Stark merely created and funded Iron Man. Hopefully this will not be undone like Peter Parker’s unmasking a few years ago. Remember that waste of your time?

 True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten To Play Ridiculously Sexy Cult Murderer

Jason Stackhouse from HBO’s True Blood, Ryan Kwanten, is set to play Charles Manson in a new movie called “The Family” which is set to start filming next year.

This will be the passion project, as well as the directorial debut, of screenwriter Scott Kosar (The Machinist and The Crazies) In speaking to Shock Till You Drop, Kosar had this to say about the movie – “I will be making my directorial debut from a script I wrote. The movie won’t focus on the Manson murders. Nor is it a Manson biopic. It’s a family biopic. A movie about a surrogate family of wayward teenagers who, through extraordinary circumstances, came together and were transformed into the most notorious American family of the 20th century. Hence the title.“

While the Helter Skelter murders have been the subject of a million Biography/History channel specials and tv mini series, there has never been a real honest to goodness film made on the subject (ultra low budget exploitation fare like Manson Family Movies and Charles Manson: Superstar do not count) The notion that this crazy ex con took a bunch of white middle class teenage girls (and some boys) and turned them into sadistic killers is endlessly fascinating to me. 

The Manson Murders effectively put and end to the peace and love 60’s, and scarred the Baby Boomer generation forever, making certain that no matter how safe their middle class neighborhood might be, they never forget to lock the doors at night, because you just never know when a crazed group of strangers might bust in and kill you for no reason.

Jon Favreau Freaked Out About Summer 2011 Geek Movie Bloodbath

If summer 2010 was a bit quiet on the geek movie front (with Inception, Toy Story 3 and Iron Man 2 being the exceptions) next summer is looking to put the hurt on geek wallets BIG time. And Cowboys and Aliens director Jon Favreau is going on record saying that Summer 2011 is going to be a competition for your geek dollars the likes that Hollywood has never seen. Speaking to the LA Times, he said  “It’s Omaha Beach, it’s going to be a blood bath. There’s never been a summer like this next summer. It’s going to be bloody [for filmmakers and the studios]. As we were sticking thumb tacks in a calendar we realized that this is going to be looked back upon as Omaha Beach.”

Looking at the calandar, he’s right…there are SO many huge properties coming out within a three month span, there are bound to be some massive casualties…  in terms of sure to be huge sequels, we have Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Transformers 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, X-Men: First Class and The Hangover 2, then all new superhero movies that are insanely anticipated like Green Lantern, Thor and Captain America, family animated movies like Pixar’s Cars 2,  and Kung Fu Panda 2. And don’t forget JJ Abram’s and Spielberg’s Super 8, Rise of the Apes, and probably some more that I’m having a hard time remembering.

That leaves very little room for a pretty unknown property like Cowboys and Aliens to really break out, even if it turns out to be good. Still, as a geek we sure as hell have a lot to be excited about next summer, so yay for us. Sorry Favs. We’ll keep our fingers crossed for ya.

Presenting Aunt May and Uncle Ben, Take Two

And Finally, moving even further on to Summer 2012, We have some of our last big pieces of casting news for Mark Webb’s Spider-Man reboot (who here wants to bet this movie is simply gonna be called The Amazing Spider-Man?) – Sally Field and Martin Sheen as Aunt May and Uncle Ben.

This not only confirms that we are going to be getting the Ultimate Spider-Man versions of the characters (old yes, but not like doddering “on death’s door” old like the Stan Lee versions. Modern “we still have sex” old) but also confirms that this is not only going to be a reboot, but also a re-do of Spidey’s origin, for which I am less excited. But nevertheless, these casting choices are pretty hard to complain about.

 

 Lots of geeky news and rumors this week, but lets get started with the King of the friggin’ World himself…

Avatar Gets Back To Back Sequels

So this week, James Cameron announced that his follow up to his second movie to claim the title “most successful movie of all time”, namely Avatar, would be…….. Avatar 2 and Avatar 3, which would be filmed back to back for a 2014 and 2015 release.  While this probably comes as no surprise to most, there had been rumors recently that Cameron was going to direct a new version of Cleopatra starring Angelina Jolie. Then, according to another rumor, Twentieth Century Fox made a colossal donation to Cameron’s favorite environmental cause of choice, and thus now well bribed, Cameron chose to commit to follow ups to Avatar instead.  That movie ended pretty conclusively to me, and my gut instinct is that this will go the way of most back to back made sequels, like those for The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Back to the Future; financially motivated movies that feel more like cash ins than natural continuations of any real story.  I may be the only nerd who is disappointed we are getting these instead of the Angelina Jolie starring Cleopatra flick. What can I say? Sometimes gay trumps geek.

 Villains for JJ Abrams’ Star Trek Follow Up Movie Rumors Start Gaining Steam

Rumors of the direction of the sequel to JJ Abrams’ 2009 reboot of Star Trek are starting to finally come out, and although many fans assumed the villain would be Khan (although I’m not sure why, it isn’t like JJ Abrams’  movie was a remake of the original film, why should Star Trek II.0 be a remake of that movie?) it looks like the writers are going in a different direction. However, it still looks that the producers are looking to the classic series for inspiration. Five characters have been tipped off by insiders as being candidates for Trek 2. Harry Mudd, the bumbling pirate who appeared in two classic series episodes (“Mudd’s Women” and “I, Mudd”) The Horta ( a silicon based life form from the episode “The Devil in the Dark”) Trelane (a spoiled all powerful being, much like Q on The Next Generation) The Talosians (the big brained aliens from the original pilot “The Cage”) and finally, the antagonist from the second pilot for Star Trek “Where No Man Has Gone Before”, Lt. Gary Mitchell. Mitchell was originally played by 2001: A Space Odyssey’s Gary Lockwood.

 I believe the most likely candidate from these choices is Gary Mitchell. In the original series, he was Captain Kirk’s best friend from the academy who gains God like abilities out is space on an Enterprise mission, loses his humanity and has to fight his old friend Jim Kirk to the death. Of all the old episodes, this one has the personal drama that a large scale big screen adventure needs, and while Mitchell’s “God like” abilities where pretty low tech for the original series, imagine what a movie could do with that now? Also, unlike the mustache twirling bad guy that Eric Bana played in the first movie, Mitchell is more a good man corrupted by powerful forces he cannot control. If I had to bet money on which original series character from those choices is the bad guy in part two,  my money is on Gary Mitchell.

 New Bat Flick Has Name, No Riddler

So the next Batman movie has a title: The Dark Knight Rises. While I am excited as hell for the movie, the title seems a bit…lazy. A bit too much the studio wanting the words Dark Knight in the title, since that movie made a billion dollars. The only other thing that Chris Nolan revealed this week was the the villain is for sure NOT the Riddler. Let the guessing games commence….Black Mask anyone??

 Our First Real Look At Cap

Over on the Marvel Side of things, our first pics of Chris Evans as Captain America have surfaced over at Entertainment Weekly.  I think these pics have calmed any fears anyone had over Evans as Steve Rogers. From the 40’s style hair to the Super Soldier ripped body, everything looks just right. They are even using the original triangle shield in addition the more well known round one…what comic geek can complain? Here is hoping the actual movie is just as good.

 

Over the weekend, a rumor surfaced over the internets that George Lucas was secretly plotting a new Star Wars sequel trilogy for the latter half of this decade. Almost instantly, geek anger/elation/confusion happened, and talkbacks and message boards were filled with the usual mix of anger, joy, and cynicism that only Star Wars can cause among our kind. Of course, within 24 hours, a Lucasfilm representative chimed in and said the whole thing was bunk. No new Star Wars films were currently being planned. But some people, like Geek Godfather Harry Knowles of Aint It Cool News, swear up and down that their same sources at Lucasfilm are telling them that yes indeed, there is a new Star Wars trilogy planned, but no work has even started yet, so there is no real news to report. YET. They don’t want a near decade of anticipation and build up for something that may or may not happen. But that doesn’t mean no one at Skywalker Ranch isn’t talking about it,  because it appears they are indeed.

The idea of an Episodes VII-X is not a new idea. Way back in the day, during the making of the original trilogy, the idea was to do Episodes I-III, and then do a sequel trilogy to the original films, Episodes VII –IX (there was even talk once of episodes X-XII, although that was very quickly discarded). Once George Lucas started making the prequels in the late 90’s though, he started backtracking on the earlier statements made about a nine episode saga. Back in 1999, when asked about sequels to Return of the Jedi, Lucas said “When you see it in six parts, you’ll understand. It really ends at part six.”  This makes sense when you realize that at an earlier juncture, the events of Jedi would not have ended with a nice tiny bow and an Ewok party the way they did. Gary Kurtz, producer of A New Hope and The Empire Stikes Back, stated that at one time, Han Solo would have died in Episode VI, Leia would have become “Queen of her people” (um, weren’t they all space dust at that point?) and Luke’s search for his twin sister, who was not Leia, would have taken up the bulk of the Episodes VII-IX. Luke would not have even faced the Emperor until Episode IX, the very last one. Obviously, without Kurtz in the picture anymore, Lucas decided to wrap up everything in Return of the Jedi and call it a day, rendering the story ideas for Episodes VII-IX moot. So maybe what Lucas said was true….from a certain point of view. Sorry, I had to do that.

 

 THE EVIDENCE FOR A NEW TRILOGY:

Despite any Lucasfilm denial, all the evidence is pointing to some kind of new Star Wars movies coming to the big screen. After all, Star Wars remains George Lucas’ main source of income. Sure, the cartoons and video games and toys generate revenue, but they generate way MORE revenue when there is a movie in the theaters. No matter how much money the other stuff makes, it always comes to down to the movies. Add to that the proposed Star Wars live action series doesn’t seem to be happening anymore; back in 2005, Lucas announced a live action Star Wars television series, set during the period following Episode III but before Episode IV. Five years later, and nothing has come of it, mostly due to Lucas realizing there is simply no cheap way to make Star Wars in live action on a weekly basis. If he abandons the live action tv idea, which would have required other writers and directors to play in his sandbox anyway, why not just do it for the big screen instead and make WAY more money that way?

 Lucas has already announced his intentions of making 3D versions of the entire saga starting in 2012 with The Phantom Menace, and releasing one a year. That means Return of the Jedi will be released in 2017, which also happens to be the 40^th Anniversary of the original Star Wars. The perfect time to release a new chapter in the saga, after a new generation has been introduced to it on the big screen over the past six years.  The evidence is circumstantial, but eyebrow raising.

 

 WHAT WE CAN EXPECT IF IT HAPPENS:

Fans can breathe a sigh of relief, because George Lucas almost certainly won’t direct it or write it. That you can count on. Lucas hates directing. He had a minor stress related heart attack on the set of the original Star Wars, which was one of the main reasons he didn’t direct Empire or Jedi.  Over a decade later when he started work on the prequels, it was his BFF Steven Spielberg who essentially challenged ol’ George to get back in the saddle and write and direct the films himself (yeah, thanks for that one Stevie). Besides, when work starts on these, he is gonna be 70+ years in age. He is simply not going to want to do it himself anymore, especially since the main story he wanted to tell, the rise and fall and redemption of Darth Vader, is over and done with. With The Clone Wars animated series, Lucas has learned to throw out story ideas and concepts, and let others write and direct. If he can do that for the small screen, why not for the big screen?

 An entire generation of film makers, specifically genre film makers, are doing what they do because Star Wars inspired them. When James Cameron saw the original movie, he quit his job as a trucker and decided to make movies for a living. People like Peter Jackson, Chris Nolan, JJ Abrams, Joss Whedon, Ronald D. Moore and countless others have all cited the classic films as part of the reason they became filmmakers. Most of them would jump at the chance to write and direct their own Star Wars movie. I don’t care how much you hated the prequels, don’t say that the notion of a Star Wars movie written and directed by Joss Whedon or Neil Blonkamp or JJ Abrams or any talented geek film maker out there doesn’t get you excited. The notion of any of these guys getting the chance to make kick ass Star Wars films should make you wanna get in line right now.

 

 So What The Hell Would These Movies Even Be About?

 The events immediately following Return of the Jedi have been well chronicled in the novels, comics and video games, known to geeks as the “Expanded Universe”. If Lucas had any intention of revisiting the characters of Leia, Han and Lando, he would of kept those characters off limits to writers, but he didn’t. I think it is safe to say any new Star Wars movie will not feature those characters and focus on a new group of younger characters in the galaxy far, far away (all except for one: Luke Skywalker. And the droids… but I’ll get to them in a moment). I imagine this new trilogy will take place at least fifty to a hundred years (or more) after Jedi, leaving the majority of the old characters dead from old age, so no explanation needed. So no senile Harrison Ford, not fat bitter Carrie Fisher in a gold bikini, and no Chewie either.

 I believe the major exception to this is Luke Skywalker, who will likely be the wise old hermit wizard that Obi Wan and Yoda were. After re-establishing the Jedi Order and the New Republic, maybe Master Skywalker went into seclusion, becoming something a galactic myth? Maybe he is very long lived now, like Yoda, due to his strong connection to the force? None of that would render any novels or comics non-canon, but this could take place far enough ahead of them that the events in those books, official or not, would in no way need to be mentioned. Everybody wins.

This is even backed up by Luke himself; In a 2004 interview, Mark Hamill  said that Lucas admitted as much to him back when they were making the original movie – “You know, when I first did this, it was four trilogies. 12 movies! And out on the desert, any time between setups…lots of free time. And George was talking about this whole thing. I said, ‘Why are you starting with IV, V and VI? It’s crazy.’ Lucas said ‘It’s the most commercial section of the movie.’ He said the first trilogy’s darker, more serious. And the impression I got, he said, ‘Um, how’d you like to be in Episode IX?’ This is 1976. ‘When is that going to be?’ ‘2011.’ I defy anyone to add 36 years to their lives and not be stunned. Even an eight year old is like, ‘No, I’ll never be 47.’ So I did the math and figured out how old I’d be. I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do?’ He said, ‘You’ll just be like a cameo. You’ll be like Obi-Wan handing the lightsaber down to the next new hope.” George Lucas has later said this was just an off-hand comment. But I think there was more to it than that.

 Cut to the near future; Mark Hammil will be just the right age at that point to play Luke again and be the “Crazy Old Ben” of this new episode. As Lucas said to Mark Hamill, I imagine he will pass on his lightsaber and knowledge (and probably his droids too, what would Star Wars be without R2 and 3PO?) to a new young pupil, and then will no doubt die while the new young pupil looks on, shades of Obi Wan Kenobi in A New Hope and Qui Gon Jinn in Phantom Menace. As for what the rest of the story could be, aside from adhering to the classic Joseph Campbell “Hero’s Journey” motif that Lucas so loves, it could be about almost anything. And that is what makes the prospect so damned cool….there is no “connecting of the dots” that bogged down so much of the prequels. This time, it would be a blank slate.

Star Wars is part of our culture in a way no other movie or movie series has ever been. Just in the last couple of years, how many Star Wars inspired youtube videos have you seen? Or Yoda backpacks on the street? Or Boba Fett hoodies? Star Wars is never, ever going to go away in our lifetimes, so I say this to George Lucas: why not let younger (better) filmmaker’s imaginations run wild in the galaxy you created, and the people who grew up with your movies and loved them might stop blaming you for raping their childhoods. Stranger things have happened.

 

 

Conservative Parents Group Slams Glee for Their GQ Cover

 

 

I can’t believe I’m typing this…but I kinda agree with the ultra conservative Parents Television Council that the new photo spread of some of the cast of Glee is kind of tacky and wrong.  Although not for the reasons they think…let me just get that out of the way right now.  I find their statements –  “It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia.”  – to be stupid. All the actors in the photo are well into their 20’s…Cory Monteith who plays Finn is nearly 30 for fuck’s sake.  So stop throwing the pedo word around. No, that isn’t what bugs me.

What bugs me is that the whole photo spread kind of goes against the whole message of the show, which is how the underdog gets to be a star too. It is just three of the most traditionally “hot” members of the cast, dressed like standard porn fantasies. Cory Monteith (Finn) is dressed normally of course (I know this is GQ and their readership is mostly straight males, and a little male flesh is threatening to them, but still…it would only be fair. *sigh*)  But that isn’t even really my issue. My issue is no Mercedes, no Tina. Just the ones you’d expect. If this was an individual photo shoot each of the actors did for the magazine I would have no problem, but again….they are together representing the show here…and the “hot thin white people win again!” is not what Glee is supposed to be about.  Because that is what real high school is already about, and Glee should be our escape from that.

 The Hobbit Curse Has Been Lifted!

 The Hobbit has to be the most cursed movie in the history of movies (except maybe Poltergeist; seriously Google that shit. It’s freaky) First it was delayed and delayed and delayed by MGM’s financial issues until director Guillermo del Toro had to back out. THEN there was a fire at Weta studios destroying a lot of stuff that was to be used in the film. Then even more shit: the Actors Union of New Zealand threatened to boycott the movie, forcing the production to leave the country. Producer (and now director again) Peter Jackson couldn’t win. I expected him to get fat again at any moment.

 And then suddenly this week…the curse was seemingly lifted. MGM got their financial shit together and green lit the movie for a February 2011 start date. And then the Unions called off their strike on the movie, meaning New Zealand would remain Middle Earth after all. Not only that, but much of the cast has been announced, including the perfect casting of Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins, as well as various small time actors in the parts of the Dwarves. Also expected to return of course are Andy Serkis as Gollum and Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey. I’ll still only really believe it when it starts shooting though. Because someone out there just seems to have it in for this movie.

 No Hangover In The Future For Mel Gibson. And By That, I Only Mean the Movie.

So you heard about that supposed cameo for Mel Gibson in the Hangover 2? He was all set to play an“angry tattoo artist” , and Warners was hoping to give Mel some career redemption via a funny cameo, kinda like Tom Cruise’s Les Grossman character in Tropic Thunder.

 Only star Zach Galifianakis wouldn’t have it (Like I need another reason to love you Zach) Tom Cruise jumped on a couch and was part of a cult that made him think and do silly things…but didn’t really deserve the backlash he got, hence earning the career redemption that Tropic Thunder provided. Robert Downey Jr. was an addict, but never an insufferable jerk (unless it was your house he woke up naked in I suppose) He deserved his Iron Man. But Mel Gibson is an anti-semitic asshole and woman hater, who has had PLENTY of chances to change and make amends, and never did. We don’t hate you because you’re a drunk Mel, we hate you because you’re a dick. Unlike addiction, being a dick is not a disease, its just a personality trait. Glad Mr. Galifianakis understands this.

 Mark Zuckerberg Finally Comments on the Social Network

 Well, at least he isn’t pulling the whole “I haven’t seen it” bullshit so many celebs do when a movie is made about their lives. Because you know they ALL watch them. Except maybe Tina Turner…she might not want to re-witness her beatings and rapes. Anyway, sorry about the tangent….  here is what the 26 year old billionaire had to say:

“You know, so there’s all this stuff that they got wrong, and a bunch of random details that they got right. The thing that I think is actually most thematically interesting that they got wrong is — the whole framing of the movie, kind of the way that it starts is, I’m with this girl who doesn’t exist in real life, who dumps me, which has happened to me in real life, a lot — and basically to frame it as if the whole reason for making Facebook and building something was because I wanted to get girls or wanted to get into some sort of social institution. And the reality for people who know me is that I’ve actually been dating the same girl since before I started Facebook, so obviously that’s not a part of it.”

 Yeah Mark, except you HAVEN’T been dating the same girl since before Facebook. It is a matter of public record that you didn’t start dating her until after she became a Facebook employee in 2005. Also, while the girl in the movie is made up (there is no Erica Albright)   there was a girl named Jessica Alona, whom the producers changed to Erica Albright to spare this Jessica chick embarrassment, but almost everything else in that blog you wrote the night you invented Facemash.com was verbatim from your real blog dude. Including ” Jessica Alona Is a Bitch” All they did was changed the name to Erica. Also, I hate you because you’re so rich. 

 

Cheers!

So last week was very DC Comics heavy here at the Week In Geek, so let me make it up to you Marvel Zombies with not one, but TWO Marvel pieces of news….

 

Marvel Sets Their Sites On Television, Starting With The Incredible Hulk

 

 

So for much of the past decade, Marvel Studios has ruled movie screens; now for this new decade, Marvel is setting their sites on television. And first up is the one Marvel Comics icon who has had long term luck in the past for them when it comes to live action TV: The Incredible Hulk.  No showrunner has been picked yet, although the rumor is that they are looking at new Marvel TV guru (and former writer on Smallville) Jeph Loeb. I suppose the real question is how good can we expect the effects to be on this show? Life like CGI ain’t cheap, much less on a weekly basis. And no one is gonna buy a body builder painted green anymore. The Marvel Studios guys have their work cut out for them is all I’m sayin’. Along with the Hulk, the other series most likely to make it to the small screen is 80’s series Cloak and Dagger. That comic series was not very popular, but it keeps being pitched as a series, so someone must have a really good take on it I guess. ABC is looking to be the logical place for most future Marvel Television, as Disney owns both Marvel and ABC. Among the other shows targeted for development (along with their official pitches/taglines) are:

 

Heroes for Hire – focusing on ex-con Luke Cage offering to take on bad guys for a price

The Eternals – a race of superpowered beings live amid humanity in secret, inspiring legends

Agents of Atlas, Alter Ego – private investigator Jessica Jones takes on cases involving superhumans

Moon Knight, the Red Hood – a low-rent criminal discovers a cloak that gives him superpowers

Ka-Zar – a Tarzan-type and his saber-toothed tiger must journey to the concrete jungle to seek justice

Daughters of the Dragon – a dynamic female duo, one with a bionic arm and the other a granddaughter of a samurai, open a private-detective agency

The Punisher – Screw the official tagline…this is Geekscape, so if you are reading this you know damn well who he is.

 

It will be interesting to see if both the new Incredible Hulk series and the proposed new Wonder Woman tv show make it…it will be like 1978 all over again. Maybe they’ll make a new Fantasy Island to go with it?

 

Marvel Mutant Movies That DON’T Suck?? Maybe….

 

Is it possible that after the back to back massive creative disappointments of X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men: Origins – Wolverine, that Fox has learned their lesson when it comes to their Marvel Mutant properties? (First off, having Bryan Singer come back to the franchise as producer for X-Men: First Class was a smart first move, and an even smarter move was to hire Matthew Vaughn as director) Now it seems that the next two mutant properties afer First Class from Fox/Marvel might actually be….good? The unlikeliest choice for a director for a Wolverine sequel, Darren Aronofsky, might actually be the guy to do it after all it seems. It isn’t so weird that Aronofsky is doing a big budget super hero flick (he is friends with Hugh Jackman from their time together on The Fountain after all) What is weird is that a meticulous and award winning director like Aronofsky is working for a micro managing and notoriously cheap studio like Fox. Apparently, the script by the Usual Suspects Christopher McQuarrie  is supposed to be great , and based on the beloved 1982 Wolverine mini series by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller. Also, and this is just an educated fanboy guess…this movie is NOT gonna be called X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2. Expect this to just be called simply Wolverine, like that last movie didn’t really happen. In any event. how bad can Logan VS. Ninjas be??

 

Ok, I thought about that for a second…sorry. 

 

 

Also this week, the scipt for the proposed Deadpool movie leaked, and several reviews have said the script (by the writers of Zombieland) is simply awesome. It is said to be dark where it needs to be, and light and funny as well without seeming forced, and totally pokes fun at the “Deadpool In Name Only” as seen in X-Men Origins -Wolverine. Word is that Fox really wanted Robert Rodriguez to make the movie for them, especially after making the cheap (and therefore profitable) Predators for them last summer, but he had to pass. The one person who can’t pass is Ryan Reynolds, apparently the entire script is written with Ryan Reynold’s particular brand of humor and phrasing in mind…but with back to back Green Lantern flicks coming up, will Reynolds even have the time?  One more tidbit about this Deadpool movie…a major player is said to be none other than longtime X-Man Colossus. Considering that along with Wolverine, Storm, Cyclops,and Nightcrawler, Colossus is a cornerstone iconic X-Man, and he has had barely any screentime in the film series, much less character development. This would be a good chance to correct that little oversight.

 

Time To Vote For Pedro All Over Again

 

Shouldn’t this have happened back in like 2005? The Fox Network is ordering an animated series based on the 2004 cult hit Napoleon Dynamite. This will be the first animated series by Fox not produced by Seth McFarlane since 1978.( I kid. But it totally feels that way)  Actually, In a way, waiting this long to produce an animated show based on Napoleon Dynamite might have been a good thing, as this movie (and more importanly, quoting this movie) got SO played out that even a fan like me started to hate on it and couldn’t watch it again till very recently. Maybe some time had to pass for the stink to wear off. Jon Heder and Efren Ramirez (Napoleon and Pedro) will reprise their roles along with most of the movie’s major cast members as well. Six episodes of the series have been ordered  and is being executive produced by the original writers Jared and Jerusha Hess. 

Casting Bits

 

Apparently Twentieth Century Fox wants Natlie Portman in Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel. I like Natalie and all (occasionally) but two words I never wanna hear again in the same sentence are Natalie Portman and prequel. The girl is good in certain roles, but action heroine she ain’t. Sigourney Weaver was an unknown in 1979, how about we try for an unknown this time as well?

 

 

Oh yeah, and the first bit of news for Chris Nolan’s third Batman movie came out this week: Tom Hardy (from Inception and Bronson) will be playing an unspecified part. Everyone is assuming villain, and I would say that is a safe assumption. So who will it be? Riddler? Kinda obvious, but obvious doesn’t have to be bad. Mark Millar claims the villain is Killer Croc, but considering that Nolan is doing a more reality based series than the comics or cartoons, I think that omits guys like Croc, Man Bat and Clayface. Tom Hardy’s turn as the villain in Star Trek: Nemesis was pretty much the only good thing about that flick, so color me excited no matter who he plays.

 

Be it movies, television, or actual comic books, this is an all DC Comics Week In Geek. Ok, except for one thing, but you gotta wait till the end. So lets get started shall we?

David E. Kelley Brings Wonder Woman Back to TV

Warner Brothers has been trying for years now to get a Wonder Woman movie going with no results, and now it looks like they are rethinking that notion and deciding to bring her back to where she worked  so well for them the first time: Television. It makes sense…after all, female action heroes have not fared well on the big screen, and right now there is nothing Hollywood hates more than expensive and risky. And television has fared much better for female action heroes than movies (Xena, Buffy, and Alias are all examples). Statistics show that men go to the movies more than women, and women watch more television (sports not included). So one can see where this line of thinking is coming from.

And David E. Kelley has a pretty legendary track record when it comes to television. He doesn’t make a lot of shows that geeks like us are rabid about, but made a ton of shows that normal people watched in great numbers, like The Practice, All Mcbeal, and Boston Public. Sadly, none of these shows show that he is geeky in any way or has any affinity for genre television, especially a super hero show that would require a lot of action. No one wants a Wonder Woman show where she works in an office, or in a law firm or teaches public school. She still needs to be frickin’ Wonder Woman, otherwise this is just a small screen version of the Halle Berry Catwoman….something totally different just cashing in on the brand name. The new closer relationship between DC Entertainment and parent company Warner Brothers was supposed to stop this kind of thing from happening, so lets hope that Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns does his job in this instance.

My plea/rant as a huge Wonder Woman fan: Please don’t make this Wonder Woman in name only. That was tried once before, in 1974 with actress Cathy Lee Crosby as Diana Prince. She wore a costume that didn’t resemble the comic book outfit at all, didn’t have powers, a lasso, and to say she didn’t physically resemble the comic book character in the slightest is a massive understatement. I mean seriously, Cathy Lee Crosby was a once considered hot? She kinda looks like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger in drag. I mean, just look at her.

Look to the experts.  There have been many creators who have worked on Wonder Woman over the years, but none truly “get her” like George Perez, Phil Jimenez, Greg Rucka or Gail Simone.  Now, I’m not saying they should be staff writers for the show or anything (comic book writing is not the same as writing for a tv show, I realize this) but they should at the very least be consulted.  Greg Rucka’s run in particular would make a great basis for a television series; his run on the book focused largely on the day to day world of Wonder Woman’s embassy…she had an office, a staff, an attorney, an a minotaur chef named Ferdinand running the kitchen.  The Greek Gods were still in play, but existed in our world as more modernized versions of themselves…less Clash of the Titans and more toned down. All of this would be perfect for a television series telling of Wonder Woman.  And all much more in keeping with Kelley’s sensibilities towards workplace dramas while still being Wonder Woman. Just don’t fuck this one up Warners.

 First Look At Bruce Timm’s Green Lantern

With all the constant news and rumors regarding the live action Green Lantern movie starring Ryan Reynolds, many have overlooked that DC and Warners Animation have been preparing another Green Lantern project for 2011, a CGI animated series for Cartoon Network set to debut next fall. DC animation guru Bruce Timm will be producing (his first series since the end of Justice League Unlimited in 2006) and this will be his first foray into cgi animation. And now the first image for the series has been released, and it appears that the classic Timm style meshes pretty well with CGI. CGI animation for television has come a long ass way since the days of Starship Troopers: Roughnecks, and Green Lantern in particular seems the perfect vehicle for a CG show. Anyone else psyched?

 DC Comics Actually LOWERS Prices On Comics

In one of the first smart moves made by the comic book industry in what seems like forever, DC Comics announced this week that they are actually dropping the price of all their $3.99 books down to $2.99 (also at the cost of two story pages) starting in January. “As Co-Publishers, we listened to our fans and to our partners in the retail community who told us that a $3.99 price point for 32 pages was too expensive”. (Side note -DUH.) “Fans were becoming increasingly reluctant to sample new titles and long term fans were beginning to abandon titles and characters that they’d collected for years.” said DC VP Dan Didio in statement released this week. Considering how many books I dropped at the price hike, as I’m sure many other readers have as well, this is smart business in a recession like this.  The rumor is that Marvel Comics is going to announce at New York Comic Con this coming weekend that they will be doing the same thing come 2011. So cross your fingers all you broke ass comic book geeks.

 And finally, The Director of Superman: The Man of Steel  Is…….

…..Zack Snyder. While this may not come as a surprise to many, I am frankly a little bit surprised. I figured Snyder would want to move away from doing comic book movies at this point and not get pigeon holed as the comic book movie guy. And after de-constructing Super Heroes with Watchmen, can he do a pure (even simple) straightforward Superhero movie? I am not a Snyder hater, I’ve liked all of his movies to varying degrees. And Chris Nolan’s grasp of strorytelling and story structure mixed with Snyder’s visuals does sound like an awesome mix for Superman. So  I guess this is good news, right?

 

The one thing the in regards to this flick that the rumor mill seems to be churning out this week is that the movie’s villain will be General Zod. I know this is making fanboys salivate at the thought of a Kryptonian super brawl, Snyder speed ramped style, but what happened to the original villain said to be in David Goyer’s script, Brainiac? He’s Kal-El’s #2 Villain after all, has never been represented in film before, and could provide fans with the “Superman fights a giant robot” battle we’ve all been craving for years.  For all the critiques of Bryan Singer paying too much homage to Richard Donner’s movies, having Zod sounds like more of the same thing. 

OK, ONE Bit of Marvel News…

Emma Stone, the living physical embodiment of a John Romita Sr. drawing of Spidey’s Mary Jane Watson, is instead cast as Gwen Stacy. Really Sony? Really?

STAR WARS 3D FINALLY ARRIVES IN 2012

Although rumored for years, Lucasfilm has finally made it official this week that the entire Star Wars saga is coming back to movie theaters in 3D.  Lets get to the good news first: This is not going to be crappy 2D to 3D conversion that we’ve seen in some recent movies like Clash of the Titans or The Last Airbender…John Knoll and the boys at ILM are undergoing a painstakingly slow frame by frame re-scan of the movies for 3D upgrade.  If there is one thing and one thing only you can always count on from Lucasfilm, it is technical prowess. Now to the bad news:  They are releasing them in chronological story order, meaning the first movie out of the gate is going to be The Phantom Menace. Sigh I am not the complete prequel hater that most geeks are…I enjoy much of Attack of the Clones on a silly action level despite knowing that it is bad, and I just plain enjoy Revenge of the Sith, but Episode I is just painful….to think that this is going to be the first 3D Star Wars movie just hurts.  I suppose for the generation that will be seeing these movies on the big screen for the first time, it could be an awesome experience…after all, they get to see the series go from shitty to brilliant, instead of the other way around like the rest of us.The current plan is to release one movie per year starting in 2012. I personally think this is a stupid idea. They should just get these all in the can, and release them monthly they way they did the 1997 re-releases. Or, at the very least, make it two per year, so we can get to A New Hope and Empire quicker.

 

One last, indulgent  Star Wars item; if you are not checking out the Clone Wars animated series on Cartoon Network because you are an old school Star Wars fan who can’t stand anything related to the prequels, then you are doing yourself a disservice. Clone Wars has turned into a Star Wars fan’s wet dream…the animation on this show is stellar, especially for television, and the battle sequences are jaw droppingly cool at times.  This show is in many ways everything we wanted the prequels to be, and fleshes out the Star Wars universe in so many cool ways.  I dare say this show is the best thing to happen to this franchise since Empire, and not surprisingly, George Lucas takes the same approach with the series as he did with that movie…he comes up with the stories and general direction, and then thankfully lets other people write and direct them.  There is going to be an entire generation of kids who only know jedis and droids and bounty hunters from this show alone, and not from the movies at all…any movies…and you know what? That is totally ok with me.

DISNEYLAND: THE MOTION PICTURE

Disney does not seem to be merely content to milk their theme park rides like Pirates of the Caribbean for big budget tentpole movies these days…no sir, why just make a movie based on a single attraction when you can make a movie based on an entire theme park.  This seems to be the idea behind Magic Kingdom, a proposed film that wil be set in either Disneyland or Disneyworld’s Magic Kingdom.  Apparently the pitch for the movie is something along the lines of Night at the Museum, where the park “comes to life” (presumably after dark) and no doubt some adorable precocious kids are left behind McCauley Culkin style. We will then see their wacky misadventures with pirates, ghosts, and assorted Fantasyland characters who come to life when no one is around.

 

Apparently, Disney knows that this is a movie that you have to get 100% right, otherwise it could tarnish the reputation of the park itself.  The rumor mill says that they plan to pattern this release on the way Marvel Studios is releasing the Avengers characters before they all join up together; Pirates is already a hit franchise, now they gotta make sure Haunted Mansion 2.0 is a hit, as well as planned movie version of The Jungle Cruise and Tomorrowland.  Then all these characters can appear together in Magic Kingdom and viola, your movie is an event. The strangest part of this news is it seems they are working off a pitch from non other than Battlestar Galactica’s Ronald D. Moore of all people. So expect a revelation at the end of the movie that Snow White is really an angel, and then she disappears (sorry, I’m still bitter about that one) 

SUPERMAN MOVIE RUMORS JUST GOT WEIRDER

 In last week’s column, I talked about the supposed “short list” of directors for the Superman reboot The Man of Steel. Well, add another even more left field name to the list than any of the others…The Wrestler and Requiem for a Dream director Darren Aronofsky.  (seriously, next week I’m expecting to hear how David Lynch is in talks for Superman. Jesus.)  Still, as odd as it seems, remember Aronofsky  almost directed Batman: Year One once. But Superman seems so far afield of his sensibilites, it is hard to picture. Aronfsky’s name has also popped up as a potential director for a movie version of Garth Ennis’ Preacher, which seems like much more of a natural fit.

 

 

MR. HOLMES, MEET YOUR NEMESIS

Moriarty has been cast in the Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes sequel, and while it wasn’t  anyone who was previously rumored, I believe the movie will likely be a whole lot better for it.  Jared Harris, who plays Lane Pryce on Mad Men, is going to play Holme’s nemesis Professor Moriarty  in the upcoming installment, instead of the much rumored Brad Pitt. I don’t know how Pitt’s name was ever in consideration, as the last thing I would ever want is to hear Brad’s British accent, but it seems he was never a good fit for this part.  Based on his work as an uptight smug Brit on Mad Men, I am glad they went for “fits the roles” over “Sells tickets” this time around.

 

 ENDER’S GAME ONE STEP CLOSER TO REALITY?

One of the most beloved Sci Fi  Novels of the past generation is Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game. Long attempted by Hollywood to be brought to the big screen without any success by the likes of people like Wolfgang Peterson, it now it seems it just might be close to happening again. The latest attempt  is being made by X-Men Origins: Wolverine director Gavin Hood. For all you haters of that movie (and really, are there any lovers of that movie?) you should know that according to almost everyone involved, Wolverine was a totally studio driven movie and Gavin Hood had little say in the final product. He even had Fox president Tom Rothman show up on set and change the colors of sets on him behind his back.  Gavin Hood directed the crital darling Tsotsi, so it isn’t like he has no talent.  So maybe there is hope that this could be a decent movie should it ever get made. Of course, It may be that any movie version of Ender’s Game is cursed, or maybe the “Pink Mafia” in Hollywood have no desire to fund a movie and put money in the pockets of notorious homophobe Orson Scott Card (seriously, Google “Orson Scott Card + Homosexuality” and see what choice quotes have come out of his mouth over the years. The guy is a fucking asshole) And speaking of bigoted douchebags….

FROM MAD MAX TO MAD MAN

According to gossip columnist Liz Smith, it appears that Mel Gibson is attempting a career comeback by guest starring next season on AMC’s Mad Men.  It would be smart of ol’ Mel to try television as a way to comeback in America’s good graces, especially a brilliant and critically acclaimed show like Mad Men.  And for series creator Mathew Weiner and the producers of Mad Men, lets face it, it would be a huge publicity coup to get him to guest star.  Because as many Emmy awards and Rolling Stone covers the cast and crew of Mad Men get, they only average about 2 million viewers per episode, less than many shows on pay cable networks like HBO and Showtime.  I still hope he doesn’t get the job frankly, because he is a capital D Douchebag, but I’ll be glued to the happenings at Sterling/Cooper/Draper/Pryce as always regardless.

VERONICA MARS RETURNS?

Usually when a starlet who came to fame through starring on a cult tv show makes it to the big time, they have a tendancy to not want anything to do with the project that made them famous. Not so with Kristen Bell in regards to her old show Veronica Mars. For those of you who missed it, Veronica Mars was a great little show, one part Buffy, one part Nancy Drew, with a dash of Dawson’s Creek for good measure. The show lasted for two years on UPN, before getting a final season on the CW. But the show could never get a lot of traction ratings wise,  and despite all the buzz and hardcore online fandom, it was cancelled after year three years…on a cliffhanger no less. Since then, show creator Rob Thomas has tried without success to get a movie version off the ground, but the people at Warner Brothers, who own the rights to the show, won’t fund it.  Something about their research showing not enough people would support it or some shit. Now star Kristen Bell is trying to raise the money herself, saying if Warners gives up the rights to the show, then she will pay for a movie out of her own pocket, or at the very least a web series. That is true devotion to the series that made her famous and to the fan base of that show, and that just makes me like Kristen Bell even more.

THE WILDSTORM DISSIPATES In comic book news, DC Entertainment is moving everything but their comic book publishing operations to the west coast…. the Warner Brothers lot in Burbank, to be exact. Warners wants to work more closely with DC to exploit their properties, especially in light of Marvel’s big screen success. DC Comics proper will stay put in New York, but not without some re-shuffling; first off, DC has chosen to shut down their Wildstorm imprint after years and years of being irrelevant. Although fans of Wildcatsand The Authority should take  heart, DC has assured readers they will see those characters again, just under the DC label. But it is my humble opinion that some of these Wildstorm characters need a good long nap. Other big DC changes are set to be announced shortly. 

SUPER SHORT LIST

And lastly, it appears that Christopher Nolan has made a short list of directors for his Superman re-boot he is producing. The leaked list includes Tony Scott (Top Gun, True Romance), Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen), Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In), Jonathan Liebsman (Battle Los Angeles), and Duncan Jones (Moon). My personal vote is for either Matt Reeves or Duncan Jones, mostly because Tony Scott hasn’t made anything really good in years, Zack Snyder is way too hung up on being edgy and violent (something Superman does not need) and I’ve just never seen anything by that Liebsman dude. The Super reboot is scheduled for Christmas, 2012.