I’ll keep this short and sweet, not just because my spelling is that of a 2 year old with CP but mainly because i have a ridiculous sunburn on my bald head that craves the loving attention of some smooth-ass, rubbed-on Aloe.
Today was a good day for me… Nah, screw that… Lets go back a day. So, yesterday i was listening to episode 88 of SModcast: Kevin Smiths hilarious podcast where him and his buddies shoot the shit, usually high as a kite and the ensuing recordings are nothing short of brilliant. So I was listening while i worked when my phone rang.. it was The Wife so i naturally ignored it. But after 6 calls in 10 minutes i answered.
“Where the hell are you?!?!? Ive been trying to reach you!” She yelled into the phone.
It turns out that her cousin has a good frind who had been cast in a pretty sizable role in Kevin Smith’s up-coming flick and that we were invited to hang out on the set the following day.
I jizzed.
The camera pans to the alarm clock on the dresser. It reads 6:00am. The alarm rips the dark room but awakens no one as the contents of the room hardly got any sleep last night. Our hero leaps from the sagging mattress and wobbles his way into prep mode.
We hit the train station and took the trip out to the Bronx and to the set of “A Couple of Dicks”.
My real desire was to meet a man whom i really looked up to. See, Kevin isn’t just another douch director who makes incredibly funny movies. Throughout the past 2 years of SModcast and the previous 7 film commentaries and 3 full length stand up dvd’s it becomes easily recognizable that, not only is the man a laugh factory, but he comes across as a genuinely great guy all around. He treats his friends and family so well that i was hoping he would pass his good nature onto lucky fans who happened to be breathing up all his air on set.
when we first got there i didnt see Kevin anywhere. The crew was set up in front of a bunch of stores. We were told by our friend who had been cast that they were filming a shootout. I’m not going into everyhting that happened that day on set out of respect for the filmmakers. We hung out for a few hours, the whole time about 2 feet from Tracey Morgan who couldnt stop rapping and telling jokes and trying to stave off the boredom of waiting all day for a 1 minute shot.
Me? I was enthralled. Here i was on a movie set! Me! Fat fuck lazy ass short loser ME! Sitting a few feet from Morgan… who was HILARIOUS as Brian Fellows on SNL! Yeah, i know his other work but it’s always Brian Fellows I turn to when The Weed hits the brain.
About 1pm they wrapped for lunch and Kevin Smith walked from the set and said hi to us. He didnt know who we were really just sitting there. He was just being friendly.
I got up and introduced myself, but it seems as if our friend had already talked me up. Kevin and I got to talk for nearly 15 minutes today.
DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME CORRECTLY???? I got to shoot the shit With Silent Bob himself!!!
The real mind blower was how friendly and open he is. We talked about Mosier, about his new flick. He told me SModcast is one of his favorite things he loves to do in his life right now. We covered talk of old episodes and future endevors. It wasn’t Kevin who ended the conversation. I had to leave. See I work for a living and I was already out a day to go to the set, so i had a train to catch. Kevin told me to stay as long as I pleased and to watch the rest of the filming. I graciously bowed out and took the long train ride home.
I got home, got into night clothes and sat down and typed this.
It was a day i will never forget. Its easy to put all Hollywood people into one basket. Assholes. And it seems the people who arent assholes will say hi, take a pic and shake your hand. But I’ve never met someone quite like Kevin Smith. Someone who will talk to a complete stranger. And not just pleasentries. REALLY TALK.
Thank you, Kevin.
