Warner Brothers! Is This What You Think We Want?

Last week, geek comic book blogs and film news websites across the internets were roaring with the news that Warner Brothers has made “official” plans to reboot the Superman film franchise. Effectively scrapping the direction in which Brian Singer had put the Man of Steel in 2006’s Superman Returns and heading for darker, more brooding waters, the majority of these news stories were set in motion off of comments that Warner Bros. Pictures Group President Jeff Robinov had told the Wall Street Journal regarding the state of its DC comic book franchises (most of which have yet to even have creative teams assigned). The use of the word “dark” caused such a fuss that fanboys worldwide wasted know time in collectively jumping down Mr. Robinov’s throat.

But before Geekscape ever starts jumping down throats, we make sure to look both ways, check for cold sores and tell the intended target to say “aaah”. Well, we’re looking at Mr. Robinov’s throat, and Warner Bros. as well, and it is my opinion that you poor geek bastards have grown too bored with going to see The Dark Knight fifteen times to know where the hell you’re jumping before you leap. I will NOT follow you down that path! Guess what! This is the reason that they make fun of us!

Let me share something from my experience at the day job. Hollywood executives, for the most part, are not idiots. I know that they cancelled your favorite TV show and put organic webshooters on Peter Parker, and I’m sorry… but they SHOULD have cancelled your favorite TV show and Peter Parker SHOULD have had organic webshooters! Hollywood execs aren’t dumb. They’re just busy.

Have you ever seen that Looney Tunes cartoon where they’re furiously laying track before the train? That’s how I think of most Hollywood execs that I know. In order to keep their overhead paid for and salary justified, they have to maintain a vast amount of projects at one time. Who knows which one will flop and which will offset the losses by being the success story. When you only have time for reading coverage and not reading scripts, this is the situation you put yourself in. Hollywood is an industry that wants SO badly to run by the rules of the Ford assembly line without having the luxury of pushing out exact copies of the same product. To keep the pipeline flowing and justify your paycheck while covering a crap load of overhead, a lot of projects have to get pushed through. It’s only natural that you will look at your past successes and tailor your business model to replicate that success for as long as you can… even if the same clothes don’t necessarily fit.

As much as I enjoyed The Dark Knight, it deserves the blame (and you do too for going to see it fifteen times). But before we start shouting that the geek sky is falling, my fellow geek brothers, let’s give Mr. Robinov some breathing room.  He never said he wanted to make Superman “dark”. He said “we’re going to try to go dark to the extent that the characters allow it”. That’s a huge difference from setting a course and sticking to it. This statement implies that each character will be analyzed to see what fits. Each character might just get treated independently of each other in the fashion that Marvel Studios has put forth for their properties. When you think of Batman, the gritty, shadow-dwelling detective of the DCU, that definitely allows for going to some dark places. Superman? The friendly neighborhood beat cop to Batman’s dark detective? Now you start to see how going “dark” can become a problem. To help out Mr. Robinov, to just what “extent” will Superman’s character “allow it”?

To find out, let’s get our hands dirty, Geekscapists, and make our ideal Superman “reboot”. And of course, by “our” I really mean “mine” because I’m captain of this silly ship and you’re the ones I’ve taken hostage.

As with any reboot, before you start throwing out the baby with the bathwater and erasing the chalkboard, let’s see what we have. What did Brian Singer’s Superman Returns leave for us? As much as I didn’t enjoy the movie, it wasn’t without its successes. Here’s a list of the things that I would keep before moving forward (I know you mofos LOVE lists).

1. Brandon Routh as Kal El. The first time that I saw a photo of Brandon Routh as Clark Kent I gasped. Do you remember the first released photo of Routh as Clark Kent? He was running down the street unbuttoning his shirt to save the day. Not only did Routh look like an Adam Kubert drawing come to life, he LOOKED like both Clark Kent AND Superman. For over a decade, we weathered a storm of names rumored to be in talks for the role of Superman: Nicholas Cage, Brandon Frasier, Paul Walker. The list of Hollywood name actors was as extensive as it was nauseating. It was almost as if Warner Brother had forgotten who the real NAME in Superman was. It’s a pretty easy test. Go to a third world non-English speaking country and hold up a picture of Superman. Then hold up a picture of Paul Walker. See which one gets the most recognition. No offense to my boy Paul Walker (see you at the barbecue this weekend, man, and 2 Fast 4 is gonna be the bomb!) but it’s Superman. There are few names that are any bigger. And with Brandon Routh, Warner Brothers found an actor who could (unhampered by a heavily weighted script) inhabit the role better than anyone… arguably even better than Christopher Reeves (by a smidgen?).

2. Metropolis is NOT New York City. Singer got this right. We all love Richard Donner’s Superman… but what is the Statue of Liberty doing in Metropolis? Supposedly, one of the earlier director’s (McG? Ratner?) issue with the project was their desire to shoot the film on location in New York City rather than WB’s brand new at the time Australia-based production studios (Matrix 2 and 3 style, baby). Brian Singer did not have a problem with this and Metropolis (and even the Kent farm filmed in Australia) looked better for it. The Metropolis that he showed us had signs of the old 1940s Fleischer Studios cartoons and the world he created was inhabited and complete. We never questioned its familiarity. The look for Superman Returns was what Superman should look like.

3. Kevin Spacey. No, I didn’t write Lex Luthor. I wrote Kevin Spacey. For my money (there’s just TONS of it, too…), Lex Luthor has yet to show up in any of the Superman films. Both Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey’s Luthors were written less as actual threats and more as ham sandwiches that elevated their voices when they wanted to be heard. Their ideas for “the perfect crime” were something that an eight year old would think of after a game of Sim City. Lex Luthor has been a pain in Kal El’s side for decades on the comic page. How come he’s a joke on the big screen? At least with Spacey, you have an actor willing to go all the way with the character as he is written. Now give him a real bad ass Luthor and you’ve got yourself someone to really fear… and a name to keep the bean counters at Warners happy.

Um… so that’s about all that I would keep.  Three things. They are huge pieces. But there’re only three of them.

Now, I think that Brian Singer is an awesome director, but Mr. Robinov and I both know that there is one step that comes first before bringing onboard your director. And without it… it won’t matter who you put in the driver’s seat (see my Kingdom of the Crystal Skull article). It’s obvious so I won’t leave you to guess. You’ve got to have your story.

Good thing that we’ve got decades of source material and a character that can reflect modern social climates BETTER THAN ANY OTHER COMIC BOOK CHARACTER EVER INVENTED. People say that it’s really hard to think of a good Superman story because “he’s too powerful” or “he’s too perfect” or “there’s no drama”. I have something to say about those people… they’re dumb and lazy.

As my first graduate screenwriting teacher would tell me: The Tree is in the Acorn (or some shit like that…). In order to write a solid Superman story with really solid drama, you have to look at the character and the origins of Superman. What is he about? Don’t tell me that Warner Brothers hasn’t looked at the success of Marvel Comics’ characters on the screen and said “how are they doing it?” because you know that they have. Well, it’s all tied into the social context of the characters themselves. None of these characters were created in a bubble. None of their creators were islands.

As Hammer would say: break it down. Spider-Man is about the changes that we all go through, both internally and physically, on our journeys to adulthood. We can ALL relate to that. The X-Men were born out of the climate of the Civil Rights Movement and the ideals of Martin Luther King (Xavier?) versus Malcom X (Magneto?). We’re getting somewhere! The Fantastic Four are LITERALLY the nuclear family of the 1950s (which is why The Incredibles embraced those familial roles and time period, resulting in a better film than the Tim Story versions) fighting against dissolution from outside pressures. All of these successful franchises that Marvel has built have a strong social and cultural context to them. When you take this context into account, you make a great movie and sell a zillion DVDs. When you ignore it… you get Daredevil, Ghost Rider and Fantastic Four; movies that open big but don’t have the legs or strength to stand the test of time.

Acknowledging this, Superman is easy. Really easy. He’s the story of our immigrant nation.  He dresses himself in the colors of our flag and protects our ideals and freedoms when challenged from within or without. In 1938, when Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster put the Man of Steel together, the United States was still a nation of first generation immigrants building upon the strength of a collective freedom and individuality. As alone and cut off as it must have felt, passing through the halls of Ellis Island, in a country you’ve never seen before, speaking a language you may have never spoken before, there is a power born from the chance at a new beginning. And you’ll defend your right to have that chance with every fiber of your being. You’ll defend OTHER’S rights to have that chance because you know it will altruistically empower YOU. Now you are talking democracy and freedom. Now you’re talking about Truth, Justice and the American Way.

Things are looking clearer, aren’t they? If you want to tackle a movie about Superman, you HAVE TO tackle a movie about America, one in which the common American, born from immigrants as we all were, must face insurmountable odds and find the strength to persevere.

This is where the script and story for Superman Returns (and even the earlier 70s and 80s versions put together by the Salkinds) left me broken hearted. There are glimpses of it in the first two Superman films (are you surprised now at why they turned out so well) but it still has never been done properly and with enough presence to carry a franchise beyond a collection of set pieces and character work. In 2006, Superman Returns missed an opportunity to make a film ABOUT something. On opening night, when I walked out of the Alamo Drafthouse South back home in Austin and told my friends Mark (Professor Wagstaff in the Geekscape house!) and Sean that I didn’t like the film, it’s because I couldn’t believe that, in the day and age that we live in, a Superman movie could have missed so clear of the mark. It saddened me and infuriated me (maybe I should get a life?). All they had to do was look around at the world we were living in and put Superman in it!

And by in it, I mean PUT HIM UP AGAINST A BAD ASS VILLIAN AND MAKE HIM DEFINE HIMSELF AS A HERO!

Everyone is so fucking ready to see Brainiac. Everyone wants to see Superman fight Doomsday. Maybe a few of you want to see Metallo or Bizzarro or Mister fucking Mxyzptlk. Well, I’m still waiting to see him go up against Lex Luthor!

In a day and age in which REAL Lex Luthors actually exist, how could you NOT write a perfect Lex Luthor story?!? We have plenty to choose from. There’s Kenneth Lay, who had to DIE in order to escape conviction for the bad business dealings that bankrupted American citizens. There’s George W. Bush and Dick Cheney! Heck, DC even took a page out of reality and made Luthor the American president a few years ago!

Fuck Brainiac! Model your Lex Luthor REALISTICALLY, the way he would (and does) exist in this world and you have a perfect villain for the Man of Steel. This is a villain that Superman cannot touch without betraying the very ideals he is supposed to uphold. Many of us sit here hostage watching the Bush Whitehouse spin and avoid scandal after scandal and there is NOTHING WE CAN DO. Why? Because they are richer and smarter than us and have been doing evil a LOT longer than we have. The average American citizen cannot touch these abusers of power… and you know what? Neither can Superman. Lex Luthor is richer. He’s smarter. And he’s been doing evil a LOT longer.

Superman’s struggler mirrors our own sentiments and this is any storyteller’s window into giving a new Superman movie a social and cultural context that an audience can invest in emotionally. Bathe your Superman movie in these themes and against a similar backdrop, Mr. Robinov, and the audience will follow you anywhere. We won’t care if Luthor comes out at the 2-hour mark alongside Brainiac, wearing a powersuit or standing on an island full of kryptonite. We’ve been frustrated by this evil jerkoff for years now and we just want to see Superman kick his ass and put him behind bars in the name of average Americans everywhere! Make him what he is in the comic books: an untouchable and believable part of the American power elite with something to hide and we will pay in droves to see him get his ass kicked. Superman is the manifestation of the American dream at its best and Lex Luthor at its worst. Lex Luthor HAS to be the villain of any Superman reboot until done right. And that definitely means he’s backed by the best… not a bunch of goons, Parker Posey and Kumar. The best and smartest villains money can buy. Realistic villains worked for Christopher Nolan and, if you want to emulate Dark Knight’s success, they will work here. Just look at them for what they are.

So now you’ve got the real world contexts that have made those damned Marvel properties so valuable. Now what do you do!?! What is the physical story?

Come on. You’ve done it before. Sam Raimi did it for the first two Spider-Man films. Go to the source material and the creators that live and breathe the characters.

Those first two Spider-Man films are my favorite comic book movies ever made. And they should be. They played like a greatest-hits mash-up of the most iconic Spider-Man stories ever told over the past 40 years. Sam Raimi embraced the stories that were time tested to have worked and laced them together. Audience loved them. If he and his brother had had the time to put as much care into the script for the third film, we’d be looking at the greatest superhero trilogy of all time. Now YOU have the chance to do it! And guess who helped you with it? The man that Marvel brought to the Hollywood landscape through it’s Blade franchise: David Goyer.

Say what you will about David Goyer’s solo outings as a director, but in the Christopher Nolan Batman movies, he’s proven himself to be a pretty damn good storyteller and barometer of things that will and will not fly in Gotham City. He received story credit on The Dark Knight and co-wrote Batman Begins. Mr. Robinov, there are two people who exist today who can do wonders like this with the Man of Steel. Their names are Geoff Johns and Grant Morrison. With All Star Superman, Grant Morrison has taken the character we all know as Superman and turned him inside out to see how he ticks, only to find that there’s no improving on him. His Lex Luthor is the perfect threat for an all-powerful Last Son of Krypton. He’s smart, he’s quick and he’s evil. In contrast, Superman isn’t a bore with too many powers. He’s a superhuman almighty lacking just one: the wits to defeat Lex. I don’t want to spoil it for you… but Lex won the battle chronicled in this series way back on page 1. And we’re still reading issue after issue.

Then there’s Geoff Johns, who’s Action Comics has delivered us the best Man of Steel stories to grace anyone’s eyeballs in fifteen years. The current Brainiac storyline running through Action Comics is the best Superman movie sequel you’ll read. The Gary Frank drawn splash page in which Superman comes face to face with Brainiac (for the first time!) makes “Kneel before Zod” sound more like “you complete me” by comparison. These are the types of cinematic moments that have been missing from the Superman films since day one and Geoff Johns is throwing them out every month like they’re dirty laundry. Does he even break a sweat when he thinks them up? Trust me. I would think of a Superman story anytime you want me to come in and pitch on the couch, but you’ve already got these two guys under exclusive contract at DC and they are truckloads smarter than me. You might as well use them.

There you have it. My thoughts on the new “dark” Superman reboot that’s supposed to be in the planning stages. People are quick to dismiss Superman as a boring character with no stories to tell and I couldn’t disagree more. He has proven himself countless times to be the most iconic and important superhero of all time and the one most engrained in our own unique cultural fabric.

Still, he proves to be extremely illusive to Hollywood and I don’t see why. The answer isn’t to go Dark Knight “dark” or to give him a huge, character reinventing reboot. It’s so much simpler than that, Mr. Robinov. Look at the world around you. Look at the country and the times that we live in. Then look inside yourself for the solutions to the problems that you see. That’s what Superman represents. You, me and everyone we share this country with. There you might find a hero that we will all want to see on the big screen. We all trust that you can bring us a solid Superman movie. Not as a reboot, but faithfully, for the first time.