Trailer Trash Heap: Double Dipping Edition; X-Men First Class & Thor
We needed to take a brief break last week to let some of these trailers soak in before I give you my 2 cents. So here’s two weeks worth of trailers for your viewing pleasure.
X-Men First Class
A number of people have jumped on board the First Class band wagon thanks to this trailer, I am not one of them. While visually I think it looks amazing, there are a great deal of things I still take issue with. Azazel, Nightcrawler’s dad, looks to be doing some heroic stuff in the trailer, and essentially just filling the role of Nightcrawler. That’s a bunch of bull-caca. Azazel is a demon and needs to stay that way. Plus, why wouldn’t Charles be more prepared for a teleporting mutant in X2 if he had already had exposure to Azazel? This trailer makes the film out to be a true prequel, and if that’s the case these things are going to have to line up. And why is Havok showing up at all? I understand needing to take slight liberties, but the heart of the Havok character is that he is Cyclops brother and living in that shadow. Why are you changing the core of the character?
Arthur
This looks sweet and fun. I almost feel like we dodged a bullet here, because I had no desire to see a rehash of the original Arthur’s drunken antics. Russell Brand doesn’t need to be pigeon holed as a drunk in every movie and I look forward to the inherent sweetness of his man child version of Arthur.
Atlas Shrugged Part 1
Not only Atlas shrugged at this trailer. Was this something that really needed adapting? And this is only Part 1? Oof.
Cracks
Private school lesbian thriller! You had me at private. I kid. This movie looks incredibly boring and disguises it’s misogyny in eroticism. I’ll pass on a movie about cattiness and manipulation.
Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil
Animation looks just as bad as the original. Don’t reward this shitty product with your hard earned money.
Oranges and Sunshine
I know I’m going to cry, but hopefully it’ll be for the right reasons.
Hop
Alvin and the Chipmunks 3. Hopefully Brian Lynch’s script is hiding some gems of witty banter that they’re just leaving out of the trailer. It’s also fun to see the Runyon Canyon set I was barred from entering last year. Awkward.
Madea’s Big Happy Family
Who thought this trailer was good? I think Tyler Perry has some quality films, but this trailer makes me ashamed to think that.
Prom
Wow, pathetic kid is pathetic.
Trust
I want to see this. But I can tell just from the trailer I’d end up being depressed for a week after.
Thor
This trailer goes a long way toward letting us know there will be an actual story, but is still a far way from letting us know if it will be good. Visually though, it’s incredibly striking. Get it, STRIKING. Like Thunder Strike. Oh shut up.
Hesher
I just watched a trailer for Suburban Fight Club, and I liked it. Hey look, it’s a Natalie Portman we might actually have a shot with… or not.
Apollo 18
As fake as the moon landing. Thanks Paranormal Activity, you revived a genre we had all hoped died with the Blair Witch.
Hall Pass Red Band
Woah. A Farrelly Bros. comedy that actually looks funny? Welcome back. You were missed.
Something Borrowed
Woah. A romantic comedy where Kate Hudson looks bitchy. I’m shocked at my un-surprise. But Ginnifer Goodwin and John Krasinski, say it with me, “AWWWWWWWWWW.”
Certified Copy
Before Sunrise beat the to the punch, but I think this romance could have some whimsy and earnestness.
Mars Needs Moms
Mars needs botox? what kind of 10 yhear old thinks like that? Don’t sacrifice character integrity for shitty puns. /rant
Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives
Even with subtitles I can’t make sense of this trailer. I mean I see the Predator at the beginning but then it’s not about him? WTF?
Lord of the Dance 3D
Fat Michael Flately is Fat. That is all.
11-11-11
When this script was written it was called 6-6-6. I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but I wouldn’t bet against it.
