But Then: Dickson Rants About the State of Superhero Movies
I never thought I’d see the day when movie technology would get so advanced that anything was possible. I DID believe a man could fly after the 1978 Christopher Reeve movie.
Even though it’s not a comic book movie, per se, it puts things in perspective to think that Superman came out only one year after STAR WARS. I mean my mind was already blown that space fights became so realistic and then we had the magic of Superman.
This is of course completely dismissing the incredible work Stanley Kubrick’s team did on 2001: A Space Odyssey. I mean the man DID fake the moon landing, after all.
As a child I thought that the old Nicholas Hammond Spider-Man TV movies were the height of super-hero action. Don’t get me started. I used to watch those things in a double feature of Those Amazing Dobermans all the time on KTLA.
ANYWAY. It was with the same breathless anticipation yielding to excitement that I watched the first Spider-Man and X-Men movies.
I was highly charged for the new Spidey. I’ll admit that I was caught up in Sam Raimi’s bold vision of Spidey. With graceful glides and aerial battles with Green Goblin, it was all of my (non-sexual) childhood fantasies come to life!
But then…
Hold on. Before I start with the disillusionment, let me also say that I had a similar thrill watching the first X-Men. To see all of the mutants I’d grown up reading flying around the screen, clawing and storming and… cyclopsing… was amazing. Breathtaking. Spectacular.
But then…
OK, one more prefacing. A good movie, like a good roller coaster, shakes and bakes you and dares you to ride again. Every blockbuster is made like that. You almost HAVE to see it again unless it’s a total piece of crap from the get-go. So, it begs understanding that, once the movies came out on DVD, I had to buy them and watch them repeatedly.
For me, the first X-Men petered out after only the second viewing. The novelty gone, I was left with a trite, preachy story and very small bursts of action. The acting was terrible and WOLVERINE CRIED.
The first Spider-Man didn’t hold up very well either. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Love Raimi. He is a horror MASTER for cryin’ out loud. Drag Me To Hell? Watched that like 5 times in a row and loved every minute of it. I am not an Army of Darkness nut, but I loved Evil Deads 1 and 2 to the max, Waldo.
Sam just couldn’t handle the enormity of a “real” superhero movie. OK, OK. It was only the highest grossing debut weekend of all time. WHATEVER. It was only the novelty of the thing. If any of the other people previously attached to other versions had made theirs, it would have had the same outcome. Trust me. Who wouldn’t want to see Jimmy Cam’s version of the Webhead?
Spider-Man 2 was SLIGHTLY better because there was no groundwork to be laid. But it, Spidey 1 and X’s 1 and 2 all failed my Blu-Ray test.
Let me explain:
I got this fancy Blu-Ray player at a Circuit City liquidation sale. I was so excited. I got Hancock for free with the thing and I PURCHASED Spider-Man 2 because it looked so cool on the demo TV in the store.
I went home and immediately started tracking all the action scenes so I could see that stuff in bad-ass H. D. T. V.
But then…
I had to search long time for those action scenes. There was an awful lot of talking going on in this movie and less action than I remembered. I tried to just watch it, but I was distracted and bored. There was TOO much going on and it all seemed to cancel the fun out. Rinse and repeat with my X-Men DVDs.
To me, comic books are about powers and mutants and explosions. The X-Men comic, sure, it’s a soap opera at heart. I mean Scott has so many kids…. ANYWAY. That’s not what I want in my comic book movies. I want to be thrilled. I want to be blown out of my seat. It can be done. If I want a soap opera and spandex, I’ll DVR Monday Night Raw, OK?
X2: X-Men United: BLOWS. I know, you’re saying “BUT BUT BUT NIGHTCRAWLER…!” OK, Nightcrawler was cool and that scene where he’s attacking the White House was so perfectly done, it brought chills to my spine. But that was it.
That Nightcrawler scene is like that King Kong 3-D ride at Universal Studios. Yeah, it’s mindblowing, but it’s painfully short and happens right at the beginning of a two-hour tour – and X-Men 2 doesn’t even have Whoopi’s witty banter to keep it entertaining and WOLVERINE CRIED – AGAIN!
I won’t even go into Superman Returns.
I say all of that to say this:
I have seen the potential of comic-book movies realized, so I know it’s possible to make a good one.
Kick-Ass, Wanted, Blade and Hellboys 1 and 2 are all great movies from spectacular properties. They all serve to not only advance the medium of genre filmmaking but also the comics from whence they sprang. They all create worlds with rules and boundaries that they do not break and play well within.
This all leads up to my late-in-the-game love and fascination for my current favorite movie of all time: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
I am ashamed at the deepest levels for having waited so long to see Pilgrim. It reinvigorated my hope and belief that a good comic book move CAN exist in my lifetime. I’ve read two-thirds of the books the movie is based on and I can say that the movie captures the (seriously) whacked-out world of the comics while remaining satisfyingly different altogether and doesn’t even try to explain WTF is going on. It has everything I like: big-eyed chicks, battling bands, video game references and kicking.
So I guess the lessons here are:
1. Comic-based movies are still a developing art form that depends on advancing technologies and knowledgeable writing.
2. Good ones can be made with time and care.
3. Bryan Singer and his merry band should stay the hell away from anything relating to comic books on pain of death (yes I know he’s producing something called “X-Men: First Class” set in the 60’s with some hunky young stars in the leads. Trust me, folks, he just loves the clothes).
Now, if they can just keep the civilians from getting confused between Green Hornet and Green Lantern, this summer should be OK. Seriously, it happens.
By the way, I’m very tentatively letting myself get excited by Green Lantern. Despite the muck-up it caused at the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con. I do like that they’re taking on the space stuff. I’m not buying into the “Van Lantern” haters, though. Judging only from the trailers, I think Ryan Reynolds is putting on the kind of cocky bastard a modern-day Hal Jordan could be were he a REAL PERSON.
As for Green Hornet, I’m not even sure what to think. It hasn’t been a notable comic probably since it was a radio show. I know, Kevin Smith has done some stuff with it recently and Dynamite has tried hard to keep it alive to try and cash in on the movie. But, I’m not sure I would classify it as a comic-book movie in essence. That being said, it looks like a ton of fun and I want to see it.
Finally, I don’t think anyone is taking Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance seriously, are they?
I’m sure I left out your favorite movies in my rant or probably will touch a nerve with this: X3 IS THE BEST ONE OF ALL THE X’S. If so, hit up the comments section below or the Geekscape forums and we’ll have ourselves some friendly discourse.
