Trailer Trash Heap: Fast 5, Pirates 4, Rango, Paul and Limitless
Fast Five
Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Tyrese, Ludacris, and the gorgeous Jordana Brewster all pile in to make this the most ridiculously good looking cast ever assembled. At least that’s what the ladies tell me… erm. It looks like there is a bit of a shift this time around from just action movie with car chases to full on Ocean’s style heist movie. It fits the direction the franchise has been going in, so I’m all for it. The addition of “the Rock” Dwayne Johnson will make for a fun new manhunt angle of the film and hopefully add tension instead of a distraction.
Did I mention Jordana Brewster is really hot. Like insanely hot? Just for fun here’s a clip from D.E.B.S. where she lip-synchs to Erasure. WIN!
Paul
This sci-fi, road trip, buddy comedy looks like a hoot. Shouldn’t that expression be sounds like a hoot? Anyway, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost look to be in fine form and the addition of Kristen Wiig is always a welcome one. I’m not worried about Frost and Pegg keeping the chemistry they’ve built up over years with the absence of Edgar Wright, but it will be interesting to see how well they mesh with the huge amount of American comedians they’ve thrown into the movie.
Limitless
Bradley Cooper plays a frustrated writer who begins taking a pill that allows him to access the full function of his brain. Robert Deniro comes along and begins to take advantage. I feel like I saw this movie when it was Matthew McConaughey and Al Pacino in Two for the Money.
Water for Elephants
Robert Pattinson once again confuses showing emotion with looking constipated. Which is a shame, because this is the first time I’ve seen a trailer for a Reese Witherspoon movie and was actually interested in seeing her performance. To have such a beautifully shot film with such talented actors as Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon drawn down by fad actor is a damn shame.
Tree of Life
I have absolutely no idea what is happening in this trailer, but it is both mesmerizing and creepy. Brad Pitt as an abusive but loving father? Imagery of what I can only imagine is heaven? This trailer is far too confusing not to pique your interest.
A Somewhat Gentle Man
I want to see this movie now, while it’s still funny. Because eventually an unneccesary American remake is going to happen and kill any charm the film has.
Rango
A lizard on vacation becomes the sheriff of a town being bullied by snakes, hawks, and other varmits. Eh, Myabe. He’s voiced by Johnny Depp and it’s directed by Gore Verbinski? Count me the fuck in.
Take Me Home Tonight
An imaginary conversation that happened during the greenlighting of this movie.
Exec 1: Remember the 80’s?
Exec 2: Fuck yeah, those were good fucking times. Did so much blow you could kill a mule. Actually I think I did kill a Mule. Why?
Exec 1: We made so many teen romantic comedies that were shit but because John Hughes did it right people watched them all and loved every bit. We should make those again, people still love John Hughes movies.
Exec 2: What like teen comedies, we still make those.
Exec 1: No 80’s teen comedies. We should just keep making them set in the 80’s.
Exec 2: Brilliant, greenlight. Want some of this coke?
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow returns, and this time Disney isn’t risking a lack of cohesive story to confuse viewers. And this time their properly crediting it. On Stranger Tides is based on the book, On Stranger Tides. A tale of an young lad who gets embroiled in an adventure with Blackbeard in search of the Fountain of Youth. So are theC going to rename the first one to Pirates of the Caribbean, The Search for Monkey Island?
