Top Five Children’s Books that Should be Movies

As any weirdo wearing a custom made romper suit for Halloween this year will tell ya, Where the Wild Things Are is causing quite a stir in the cinema right now. Heck, children’s books in general are a pretty hot Hollywood commodity as of late. With the success of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and other nostalgic literary fare, LaLa Land seems intent on servicing young boys and girls all across America. This recent trend got me thinking…what other kids’ books would make decent film adaptations? Well, after peering deep into my childhood and looking fondly upon the many hours I spent playing Nintendo and shooting my NERF bow and arrow (instead of actually reading), I’ve come up with my top five choices. Studio executives, start taking notes.

Lorax
The Lorax by Dr. Suess
Word on the street is that this book is already in development by the folks over at Universal, and that makes sense. Dr. Suess books are usually a pretty safe bet on the box office. Now that How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Horton Hears a Who, and The Cat in the Hat (*shudders*) are behind us, The Lorax seems like a reasonable next step. I mean, who as a kid wasn’t touched by Suess’s fable concerning environmental waste and destruction? Plus, the colorful atmosphere book lends itself perfectly to CG animation…as well as lengthy acid trips. I mean, I just want to drink the colors, man…

Maniac Magee
Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
This pick is more of a personal one. Back in the third grade I was “forced” to read Maniac Magee for a book report. It was then at the tender age of eight that it became one of my favorite books ever—I’ve wanted to make it into a movie ever since. It’s a story about facing racism, discovering acceptance, and finding where you truly belong…you know, all that warm mushy stuff that appears on the Hallmark channel. But, it’s tackled in such an un-cheesy and whimsical way, you can’t help but admire Spinelli’s craft as a storyteller. Around 10 years back, Nickelodeon attempted to turn the novel into a made for TV movie. The result was both insulting and confounding—much like a Michael Bay movie (Hi-oh!) I think that finally enough time has passed since that debacle to approach Maniac Magee once again from a fresh perspective. All Hollywood needs is a young and handsome director to take the reigns—preferable someone from Washington, DC whose name just happens to be Ivan. *Twiddles thumbs and waits for the calls to come pouring in*

The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs
The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith
Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith sort of made a name for themselves back in the nineties for taking fairy tales and giving them a humorous spin. I remember in the 2nd grade, The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales was pretty much the coolest thing ever (even cooler than Trapper Keepers and snap bracelets). The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs is another such gem from this literary duo. It takes the classic Pigs tale and tells it from the wolf’s perspective—making him a sympathetic protagonist. Combine that clever premise with a artistic visual flair that’s comparable to Wes Anderson’s upcoming, Fantastic Mr. Fox and you have something that would make a cool and quirky movie.. It would be a film meant to target the  young hipster demographic. You know, the ones who still ride their fixed speed bikes with training wheels…

Wreck of the Zephyr
The Wreck of the Zephyr by Chris Van Allsburg
If the successes of movies like the Polar Express, Jumanji, and Zathura are any indication, the picture books of Chris Van Allsburg are the equivalent of dollar signs to Hollywood. I say, why fight a winning trend? That’s why Allsburg’s 1983 book—the Wreck of the Zephyr—would make a neat flick. It’s about on old sailor who tells a young boy of a time when Zephyr ships could actually fly. From a cinematic perspective, that’s a damn compelling series of images. Pair this with Allsburg’s oddly eerie tone and distinctive artistic style and you’ve got yourself a film that could easily appeal to more than just kids. Soon, Zephyr merchandise could replace Nightmare before Christmas swag at Hot Topics across the country. Emo heads would roll.
 
Encyclopedia Brown
Encyclopedia Brown by Donald J. Sobol
As a kid, I was never a fan of the Hardy Boys or that skank they would occasionally have sex with (Nancy Drew). Personally, I was an Encyclopedia Brown man. Penned by the venerable Donald J. Sobol (who is amazingly still alive), the Encyclopedia Brown series was clever without being too complex, and educational without being boring. It’s the kind of thing that made learning fun—like Schoolhouse rock or Epcot Center back in 1985. I think a Hollywood take on the Encyclopedia Brown series could hit the same childlike, yet intelligent approach. That’s why it snags the number one slot on this list. The only question is: what actor would play Encyclopedia Brown? My vote goes for Jesse Eisenberg or whoever else is pretending to be Michael Cera these days.

Until next time, ladies and germs…take a look, it’s in a book…READING RAINBOW!*

*prior to cancellation